UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 
AT  LOS  ANGELES 


tjtaucstjciicao'rzr 


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H  tlD  IB  R  A  S. 


SAMUEL  BUTLER 
/  C  ^  2^ 


NOTlflS    A.lSrD     TV    T^ITERjVRY     ]vcem:oir 


REV.  TREADWAY  RUSSEL  NASH,  D.  D. 


CONTAixixo    a%ni-,h;  .'nj   jcmpl:;';x  k.^oe 


"Non  dcenint  fortnsse  vitilUigntores,  qui  calumnientur,  partim  levicres  esse  ii\ipas,  nun.} 
t  tlieologum  deceant,  partim  mordaciores,  quam  ut  Chrlstianse  conveniant  modesliae. " 

Erasm,  Morim.  Encmn,  Prcr/tJ. 


XEW    YORK: 

D.   APPLETON    AND    COMPANY, 

1,    3,  AND   5    BOND    STKEET. 

1883. 


tUMli. 


ADVERTJ8EMENT  * 


Little  or  no  apology  need  be  offered  to  the  rulilie 
for  presenting  it  witli  a  new  edTtion  of  IIuuibra3  ;  the 
poem  ranks  too  liigh  in  English  literature  not  to  be  wel- 
comed if  it  appear  in  a  correct  text,  legible  type,  and  on 
good  paper:  ever  since  its  first  appearance  it  lias  been 
as  a  mirror  in  wliicli  an  Englishman  might  have  seen 
his  face  without  becoming,  Narcissus-like,  enamored  of 
it  ;  such  an  honest  looking-glass  must  ever  be  valuable, 
if  there  be  worth  in  the  aphorism  of  nosce  ieipsum. 
^lay  it  not  in  the  present  times  be  as  useful  as  in  any 
that  arc  jjast  ?  Periiaps  even  in  this  enlightened  age  a 
little  self-examination  may  be  wholesome  ;  a  man  v/ill 
take  a  glance  of  recognition  of  himself  if  there  be  a 
glass  in  the  room,  and  it  may  happen  that  some  indica- 
tion of  the  nascent  symptoms  of  the  wrinkles  of  treason, 
nf  the  crows-feet  of  fanaticism,  of  the  drawn-down 
mouth  of  hypocrisy,  or  of  the  superfluous  hairs  of  self- 
conceit,  may  startle  tlie  till  then  unconscious  possessor 
of  such  germs  of  vice,  and  afford  to  his  honester  quali- 
ties an  opportunity  of  stifling  them  ere  they  start  forth 
in  their  native  hideousness,  and  so,  perchance,  help  to 
avert  the  repetition  of  the  evil  times  the  poet  satirizes, 
which,  in  whatever  point  they  are  viewed,  stand  a  blot 
in  the  annals  of  Britain. 

The  edition  in  three  quarto  volumes  of  Hudibras,  ed- 
ited by  Dr.  Nasht  in  1793,  has  become  a  book  of  higjj 

*  Prefixed  to  the  Edition  in  2  vols.  8vo.  1835. 

t  "  January  26,  1811. — At  his  seat  at  Bevere,  near  Wnrcester, 
"  in  h;s  8tilh  year,  Treadway  Riissel  Nash,  D.  D.,  V.  S.  A  Rer. 
"  tor  of  Leigh.  He  was  of  Worcester  College  in  Oxford  ;  JM.  A 
"  174G  ;  B.  and  T/.  D.  17.")8.  He  was  the  venerable  Father  of  the 
"  Magistracy  of  the  County  of  Worcester  ;  of  which  he  was  an 
"  upright  and  judicious  iiieinher  nearly  fifty  years ,  and  a  gentle- 
'  man  of  profound  erudition  and  critical  knowledge  in  the  seve- 
'  ral  branches  of  literature  :  particularly  the  History  of  his  na 
"  live  county,  which  he  illustrated  with  indefatigable  labor  and 
"expense  to  himself.  In  exemplary  pruder^e,  moderation,  atfa- 
'bility,  and  unostentatious  manner  of  living,  he  has  left  no  su 


6  ADVLRTISKMENT. 

price  and  uiicoiniiiou  occurrence.  It  may  justly  bti 
called  a  scholar's  edition,  althougli  tlie  Editor  thus  mod- 
estly speaks  of  his  annotations :  "  The  principal,  if  not 
"  the  sole  view,  of  the  annotations  now  offered  to  the 
'"  public,  hath  been  to  remove  these  difficulties,  (fluctua- 
"  tions  of  language,  disuse  of  customs,  «fcc.,)  and  point 
"  out  some  of  the  passages  in  the  Greek  and  Roman 
"  authors  to  which  the  poet  alludes,  in  order  to  render 
"  Hudibras  more  intelligible  to  persons  of  the  commenta- 
"  tor's  level,  men  of  middling  capacity,  and  limited  in- 
"  formation.  To  such,  if  his  remarks  shall  be  fouuG 
"  useful  and  acceptable,  he  will  be  content,  though  they 
"  should  appear  trifling  in  the  estimation  of  the  morn 
"  learned." 

Dr.  Nash  added  plates*  from  designs  by  Hogarth  and 
La  Guerre  to  his  edition,  but  it  may  be  thought  without 
increasing  its  intrinsic  value.  The  Pencil  has  nevei 
successfully  illustrated  Hudibras  ;  perhaps  the  wit,  the 
Immor,  and  the  satire  of  Butler  have  naturally,  from 


•  perior  ;  of  the  truth  of  which  remark  the  writer  of  this  article 
"  cmild  produce  iibundaiu  proof  from  a  personal  intercDurse  of 
"  long  continuance;  and  which  he  sincerely  laments  has  now 
"  an  end. — K." — Gentleman's  JMngazine. 

*  Dr.  JN'ash  thus  mentions  them:  "The  engravings  in  this 
''edition  are  chiefly  taken  from  Hogarth's  designs,  an  artist 
"  whose  genius,  in  some  respects,  was  congenial  to  that  of  our 
'•  poet,  though  Iiere  lie  caimot  plead  the  merit  of  originality,  so 
"  nuich  as  in  some  other  of  his  works,  having  borrowed  a  great 
"  deal  from  the  small  prints  in  the  duodecimo  edition  of  1710.t 

■■  Some  plates  are  added  from  original  designs,  and  some  from 
"  drawings  liy  ha  Guerre,  now  in  my  possession,  and  one  print 
"  representing  Oliver  Cromwell's  guard-room,  from  an  excellenl 
"  picture  by  Dobson,  very  obligingly  counnunicaied  by  my  wor- 
"  thy  friend,  Robert  Bromley,  Esq.,  of  Abberley-lodge,  in  Wor- 
"  cestcrshire  ;  the  picture  being  seven  feel  long,  and  four  high, 
"  it  is  difficult  to  give  the  likenesses  upon  so  reduced  a  scale, 
"  bat  the  artists  have  done  themselves  credit  l)y  i)reserving  the 
"characters  of  each  figure,  arul  the  features  of  each  face  mi>re 
•' exactly  than  could  be  expected:  the  picture  belonged  to  , Mr. 
"  Walsh,  the  poet,  and  has  always  been  called  Oliver  C'roiii 
"  well's  guardroom  :  the  figures  are  certainly  portraits  ;  but  I 
"  leave  it  to  the  critics  in  that  line  to  find  out  the  originals. 

■'When  I  first  undertook  this  work,  it  was  designed  that  thn 
"  uliolc  should  be  comprised  in  two  volumes  :  the  first  comprc- 
"  hcnding  the  poem,  the  second  the  notes,  but  the  thickness  of 
'  the  paper,  and  size  of  the  type,  obliged  the  binder  to  divide 
"  each  volume  into  two  tomes  ;  this  has  iindesigneilly  increased 
"  the  number  of  tomes,  and  the  |irite  of  the  work."  [Intliii 
edition  the  Jiotcs  are  placed  under  the  text.] 

t  "Iloj'nrih  w«8  Lorn  in  1698.  and  llie  cdilion  of  Iliidibms,  will)  hii  cui% 
putluLed  1726." 


ADVERTISEMtNT.  7 

their  general  api)Iicalioii,  not  suflicient  of  a  ioruI  habita- 
tion and  a  name  to  ho  embodied  by  the  painter's  art. 

To  some  few  of  tiic  notes  explanatory  of  phrases  and 
words,  the  printer  has  ventured  to  make  trifling  additions, 
which  lie  has  placed  within  brackets  that  they  may  not 
be  supposed  to  be  Dr.  Nasli's,  thongii  had  the  excellent 
dictionary  of  the  tralij  venerable  Archdeacon  Todd,  and 
the  Glossary  of  the  late  Archdeacon  Nares,  from  which 
they  are  principally  taken,  been  in  existence  in  1793j 
there  can  be  little  doubt  br.t  Dr  Nash  would  have 
availed  liiiiiself  of  tl  leiu. 

W    N 


( — 


SAMUEL   UefTLER,    ESQ., 


AUTHOR    OP    IIUDIBRA.S. 


The  life  of  a  retired  scholar  can  fiirnisls  but  little 
matter  to  lie  bioirrapher :  siicli  was  the  character  of 
Mr.  Sainiicl  Butkr,  author  of  Hiuhbras.  His  father, 
wliosa  name  likewise  was  Samuel,  had  an  estate  of  his 
own  of  about  ten  pounds  yearly,  which  still  goes  by  the 
name  of  Butler's  tenement:  he  held,  likewise,  an  estate 
of  tln-ee  hundred  pounds  a  year,  under  Sir  William 
Russel,  lord  of  the  manor  of  Strenshani,  in  Worcester- 
shire.* He  was  not  an  ignorant  farmer,  but  wrote  a 
very  clerk-like  hand,  kept  the  register,  and  managed 
all  the  business  of  the  parish  under  the  direction  of  his 
landlord,  near  whose  house  he  lived,  and  from  whom, 
very  probably,  he  and  his  family  received  instruction 
and  assistance.  From  his  landlord  they  imbibed  their 
principles  of  loyalty,  cs  Sir  William  was  a  most  zealous 
royalist,  and  spent  great  part  of  his  fortune  in  the  cause, 
being  the  only  person  exempted  from  th.e  benefit  of  tlie 
treaty,  when  Worcester  surrendered  to  the  parliament 
in  the  year  1G46.  Our  poet's  father  was  churchwarden 
of  the  parish  the  year  before  his  son  Sanniel  was  born, 
and  has  entered  his  baptism,  dated  February  8,  1G12, 
with  his  own  liand,  in  the  parish  register.  He  had  four 
sons  and  three  daughters,  born  at  Strensham  ;  the  three 
daughters,  and  one  son  older  than  our  poet,  and  two 


*  This  inforr.-.atinn  came  from  Mr.  Gresley,  rector  of  Saens- 
flain,  from  the  yoar  1701)  lo  tlie  year  1773,  when  he  died,  aged 
00:  so  that  he  was  born  seven  years  before  the  poet  died 


10  ON    SAMDEL    BUTLEK,   ESQ., 

sous  younger:  noiio  of  his  descendants  rem;iin  in  the 
parish,  though  some  of  lliem  are  said  to  be  in  the  ueigh« 
Luring  villages. 

Our  ?uthor  received  liis  (irst_rijdii)ieulsj2LlciimiiJft.a:_ 
home  ;  lie  was  afterwards  s^iljjjjjjue  Xfllk^fiLacllBfil  at 
Worcester,  then  tauglit  ii/  Mr.  Henry  Bright,*  pre- 
bendary of  that  cathedra],  a  celebrated  scholar,  and 
many  years  the  famous  master  of  the  King's  school 
there  ;  one  who  made  his  business  his  delight ;  and, 
though  in  very  easy  circumstances,  continued  to  teach 
for  the  sake  of  doing  good,  by  benefiting  the  families  of 
the  neighboring  gentlemen,  who  thought  themselves 
liappy  in  havinij  their  sons  instructed  by  him. 

liow  long  Mi:  Butler  continued  under  his  care  is  noi 
known,  but,  probably,  till  he  was  fourteen  years  old 


•  Mr.  Bright  is  buried  in  the  cathedral  church  of  Worcester, 
nc.ir  the  nnrih  pilhir.  at  die  foot  of  the  steps  wliich  lead  to  the 
choir,  lie  was  bnrn  1502,  appointed  !>clioiiliii'ister  1581},  made 
preliend.iry  1019,  died  lt)26.  The  inscription  in  capitals,  on  a 
mural  stone,  nuw  placed  in  what  is  called  the  lii^hup's  Chapel 
U  a^  fulluws : 

Mane  ho'pes  et  lese, 

Maci^ter  flE.NRlCUS  nKIGlIT, 

Celeberriiiius  (rj'iiinasiarcha, 

Qui  scholx  reyiiu  istic  fundatx  pur  toios  40  annos 

siiiiiiija  cum  laudc  pru^l'iiit. 

Quo  non  alter  niayis  scduhis  •"uit,  scitnsve,  r.c  dexter, 

in  Lalinis  Gra-cis  llcbnicis  lilleris, 

feliciter  edocendis: 

Teste  utraqne  academia  qtiani  iastruxit  alTatini 

MUiiierosa  plelie  literaria: 

Sed  et  Intidetn  nnnis  eoque  aniplius  theolo<riam  professtis 

Kl  hiijiis  ecclesiie  per  seplenniiiin  canoniciia  iii'iijur 

ifu.'pissiiiie  hie  et  alibi  sacrniii  dei  pru-coiieiu 

liiapnn  cum  zelo  cl  Iriictu  e;;i(. 
Vir  pins,  ductus,  integer,  frii-ji,  <le  repuldica 

deque  ecclesia  nptime  merilus. 

A  hiborlbtis  |ier  din  noctuqiie  ab  anno  13G3 

ad  liiJl!  strenne  u<qne  exanll  ilis 

4°  Manii  suavicer  rcquievit 

in  Uumino. 

See  this  epitaph,  written  by  Dr.  Joseph  Hall,  dean  of  Worr c»- 
tcr.  in  Fuller's  Woribies,  p.  1T7. 

I  have  endeavored  to  revive  the  memory  of  this  great  and 
good  learhcr,  \vl>hinu  to  excite  a  lauiluble  emulation  in  our 
provincial  !<choiilm-isiers  ;  a  race  of  men.  who,  if  iliey  execute 
their  trust  with  abilities,  industry,  and  in  a  proper  manner,  de- 
serve the  hiu'hest  honor  ami  patronage  their  country  can  beslow, 
as  Ihry  have  an  opportunity  of  communicalini!  learning,  at  a 
nioilcrate  cx|>eM><<>,  to  the  middle  rank  of  gentry,  without  the 
danger  of  ruining  tlicir  fiirtunes,  and  corrupting  their  morals  oi 
their  health :  this,  though  foreign  to  my  present  pnrpose,  the 
'Mpcct  and  alFectiun  I  bear  to  my  neighbors  extorted  from  me 


AUTHOR    OF    HUI/IBRAS.  11 

Wlietlier  lie  was  ever  entered  at  any  university  is  un- 
certain. His  biojrrapher  says  he  went  to  Canibrid;ro,  bnt 
was  never  matriculated:  Wood,  on  llii  antliority  nf 
Butler's  brother,  says,  the  poet  .spL-nt  six  or  seven  yeaia 
thcie;*  bnt  as  other  things  are  quoted  from  tlie  samo 
auiiiority,  wiiieli  I  believe  to  be  I'also,  I  should  very 
much  suspect  the  truth  of  this  article.  Some  expres- 
sions, in  his  works,  look  as  if  he  were  acquainted  with 
the  customs  of  Oxford.  Coursing  was  a  term  peculiar 
to  that  university  ;  see  Part  iii.  c.  ii.  v.  1244. 

Keturninw  to  his  native  country,  he  entered  into  the 
lervice  of  Thomas  JefFeries,  Esq.,  of  Eiarls  Croombo, 
ivho,  being  a  very  active  justice  of  the  pcijce,  and  a 
leading  man  in  the  business ^oF  the'^provnice,  his  clerk 
was  in  no  mean  oflice,  but  one  that  required  a  know- 
ledge of  the  law  and  constitution  of  his  country,  and  a 
proper  behavior  to  men  of  every  rank  anil  occupation : 
besides,  in  those  times,  before  the  roads  were  made 
good,  and  short  visits  so  much  in  fashion,  every  large 
family  was  a  community  within  itself:  the  upper  ser- 
vants, (If  retainers,  being  often  the  younger  sons  of 
gentlemen,  were  treated  as  fricn<ls,  and  the  whole  family 
dined  in  one  connnon  hall,  and  had  a  lecturer  or  clerk, 
who,  during  meal  times,  read  to  them  some  useful  or 
entertaining  book. 

Mr.  Jetleries's  family  was  of  this  sort,  situated  in  a 
retired  part  of  the  country,  surrounded  by  bad  roads, 
the  master  of  it  residing  constantly  in  Worcestershire. 
Here  Mr.  Butler  had  the  advantage  of  living  some  time 
in  the  neighborhood  of  his  own  family  and  friends:  and 
having  leisure  for  iudidging  his  inclinations  for  learning, 
he  probably  improved  himself  very  much,  not  only  in 
the  abstruser  branches  of  it,  but  in  the  polite  arts:  here 
he  studied  painting,  in  the  practice  of  which  indeed  hia 
proficiency  was  but  moderate  ;  for  I  recollect  seeing  at 
Earls  Croombe,  in  my  youth,  some  portraits  said  to  bo 
painted  by  him,  whicli  did  him  no  great  honor  as  an 
artist.T  1  have  heard,  lately,  of  a  portrait  of  Oliver 
Cromwell,  said  to  be  painted  by  our  author. 


*  Ili.s  residing  in  the  ncigliborhood  might,  perhiips,  occasion 
tlie  idea  of  his  hnving  l)een  sit  Carnl)ridge. 

t  In  his  MS.  Coininon-placc  bi)ol<  is  tlie  fidlowing  ol)servalion ; 

It  is  more  ditfiiult.  :ind  requires  a  gre-iter  mastery  of  art  in 
paintinj,',  to  fure^hnrten  a  fii^ure  exactly,  lli:m  to  il.-;ivv  three  at 
iheir  just  Icniith  ;  so  it  is,  in  writing,  to  express  any  tiling  naui 
blly  and  briefly,  than  to  enlarge  and  dilate  • 


12  ON    SAMUEL    BUTLER,   ESti., 

After  eontiiiuiiior  some  time  in  this  service,  ho  \va» 
recaiiiaieiHled  to  Elrznbetli  Conntess  of  Kent,  vvlio  lived. 
at  yVrosl,  in  Bedfordshire.  Here  lie  enjoyed  a  literary, 
retreat  durin<r  great  part  of  the  civil  wars,  and  here 
probably  laid_JlLe-gi'Ouud\vqrli_of  his  Iludjbras,  as  he 
had  the  benefit  of  a  good  collection  of  boofcs,  and  the 
Bociety  of  tiiat  living  library,  the  learned  Selden.  His 
biographers  say,  he  lived  also  in  the  service  of  Sir  Samuel 
Luke,  of  Cople  Hoo  Farm,  or  Wood  End,  in  that 
county,  and  that  from  him  he  drew  the  character  of 
Hudibras:*  but  such  a  prototype  was  not  rare  in  those 
times.  We  hear  little  more  of  Mr.  Butler  till  after  the 
Restoration:  periiaps,  as  Mr.  Selden  was  left  executor 
to  the  Countess,  his  employment  in  her  affairs  might 
not  cease  at  her  death,  though  one  might  suspect  by 
Butler's  RISS.  and  Remains,  that  his  friendship  with 
tiiat  great  man  was  not  without  interruption,  for  his 
satirical  wit  could  not  be  restrained  from  displaying  itself 
on  some  particularities  in  the  character  of  that  eminent 
scholar. 

Lord  Dorset  is  said  to  have  first  introduced  Hudibras 


^, 


to  court^  November  11,  1662,  the  author  obtained  an 
imprimatur,  signed  J.  Berkenhead,  for  printing  his  jjoem  ; 
lL'O'  accordingly  in  the  following  year  he  published  the  fust 
part, containing  12.5  pages.  Sir  Roger  L'Estrange  grant- 
ed an  imprimatur  for  the  second  part  of  Hudibras,  by 

And  therefore  a  judirinus  author's  blols 

Are  more  ingenious  tlian  liis  first  free  thoughts. 

Thi.s.and  m:\nyother  passages  from  Butler's  MSS.  are  inserted, 
not  so  much  for  their  intrinsic,  merit,  as  to  please  those  who  are 
unwilling  to  lose  one  drop  of  that  intmortal  man  ;  as  Garrick 
says  of  Shanspearc : 

It  is  my  pride,  my  joy,  my  only  plan, 
To  lose  no  drop  of  that  inunortal  man. 

*  The  Lukes  were  an  ancient  family  at  Cople,  three  miles 
south  of  Bedford  :  in  the  church  are  many  nionuinenls  to  the 
family  an  old  one  to  the  memory  of  Sir  Waller  Luke  knight, 
one  of  the  justices  of  the  pleas,  liolden  before  the  most  excellent 
prince  King  Henry  the  Eighth,  and  daiire  Anna  his  wife:  anoth- 
er In  remendirance  of  Nichcdas  Luke,  and  his  wife,  with  five 
Bons  and  four  dauuhlers. 

On  a  (lai  stone  in  Che  chancel  is  written. 

Here  lielh  the  body  of  George  Luke,  Esq. ;  he  departed  this  life 
Feb.  10,  \':i-2.  aged  74  years,  the  last  Luke  of  Wood  End. 

Sir  Samuel  Ltike  was  a  rigid  Presbyterian,  and  not  an  emineni 
cnmmandcr  under  Oliver  Croniwell';  probably  did  not  approve 
of  the  king's  trial  and  execution,  and  tlierefore,  with  other  Prcs 
byterians,  borii  he  and  his  father  Sir  Oliver  were  among  the  s* 
:luded  members.    See  Rushworth's  collections 


AUTHOR    OF    HUDIBRAS.  ]3 

the  author  of  tlio  first,  November  5,  1GG3,  and  it  waa 
printed  by  T.  R.  for  Joiiu  Martin,  1GG4. 

In  the  Mercurius  Aulieiis,  a  ministerial  Jiewspaper, 
from  January  1,  to  January  8,  1()G:2,  quarto,  is  an  ad- 
vertisement saying,  that  "  tiiere  is  stolen  abroad  a  most 
"  false  and  imperfect  copy  of  a  poem  called  Iludibras, 
"  witliout  name  either  of  printer  or  bookseller  ;  the  true 
"  and  j)erfcct  edition,  printed  by  the  author's  orijjinal,  is 
"  sold  by  Richard  Marriott,  near  St.  Dunstan's  Church, 
"  in  Fleet-street ;  that  other  nameless  impression  is  a 
"cheat,  and  will  but  abuse  the  buyer,  as  well  as  the 
"  author,  whose  poem  deserves  to  have  fallen  into  better 
"  hands."  Probably  many  other  editions  were  soon  af- 
ter printed  :  but  the  first  and  second  parts,  with  notes  to 
bcth  parts,  were  printed  for  J.  Martin  and  H.  Herring- 
ham,  octavo,  1674.  The  last  edition  of  the  third  part, 
before  the  author's  death,  was  printed  by  the  same  per- 
sons in  1G78 :  this  I  lake  to  be  the  last  copy  corrected  by 
liimself,  and  is  that  from  which  this  edition  is  in  general 
printed:  the  third  part  had  no  notes  put  to  it  during  the 
author's  life,  and  who  furnished  them  after  his  death  is 
not  known. 

In  the  British  Mnseurn  is  the  original  injunction  by 
authoritjs  signed  John  Berkenhead,  forbidding  any  print- 
er, or  other  person  whatsoever  to  print  Hudibras,  or  any 
part  thereof,  without  the  consent  or  approbation  of  Sam- 
uel Butler,  (or  Boteler,)  Esq.,*  or  his  assignees,  given  at 
Whitehall,  10th  September,  1G77;  copy  of  this  injunc- 
tion may  be  seen  in  the  note.t 

It  was  natural  to  suppose,  that  after  the  restoration, 
and  the  publication  of  his  Hudibras,  our  poet  should  have 

*  Induced  by  this  injunction,  and  by  the  office  he  held  as  sec- 
retary lo  Richard  earl  of  Carbury,  lord  president  of  Wales,  I  have 
ventured  to  cull  our  poet  Samuel  Butler,  Esq. 

t  CHARLES  R. 

Our  will  anil  pleasure  is,  and  we  do  hereby  strictly  charge  and 
cmimand,  that  no  printer,  bookseller,  stationer,  or  other  person 
whatsoever  witliin  our  kingdom  of  England  or  Ireland,  do  print,  re- 
print, uueror  sell,  or  cause  to  be  primed,  reprinted,  uttered  or  sold, 
I  book  or  poem  called  Hudibras,  or  any  part  thereof,  without  llio 
consent  and  approbation  of  Samuel  Boteler,  Esq.,  or  his  as- 
signees, as  they  and  every  of  them  will  answer  the  contrary  al 
■heir  perils.  Given  at  our  Court  at  Whitehall,  the  tenth  day  of 
September,  in  the  year  of  our  Lord  God  1077,  and  in  tlie  29tli 
rear  of  our  reign, 

By  his  Majesty's  command, 

Jo.  BERKENHEAD. 
Miscel.  Papeis,  Mus.  Bibl.  Birch.  No.  4293 

Plat.  n.  J.  original. 


/4  ox  SAMUEL   BL  TLER,   ESQ., 

appeared  in  public  life,  and  have  been  rewarded  for  the 
eminent  service  his  poem  did  the  royal  cause  ;  but  his 
innate  modesty,  and  studious  turn  of  mind,  prevented  so- 
licitations :  never  having  tasted  tiie  idle  luxuries  of  life, 
he  did  not  make  to  himself  needless  wants,  or  j)ine  after 
imaginary  pleasures:  his  fortune^iiideed,  \vas  srnalf,  and 
BO  was  his  ambition.;,  his  Integrity  oniTe,  and  modest 
"Temper,  rendered  him  contented.  However,  there  is 
good  authority  for  believing  that  at  one  time  he  was  grat- 
ified with  au  order  on  the  treasury  for  300Z.,  which  is 
said  to  have  passed  all  the  offices  witliout  payment  of 
fees,  and  this  gave  him  au  opportunity  of  displaying  hie 
disinterested  integrity,  by  conveying  the  entire  sum  im- 
mediately to  a  friend,  in  trust  for  the  use  of  his  creditors 
Dr.  Zachary  Pearse,*  on  the  authority  of  Mr.  Lowndes 
of  the  Treasury,  asserts,  that  Mr.  Butler  received  from 
Charles  the  Second  an  annual  pension  of  100/. ;  add  to 
this,  he  was  appointed  secretary  to  tlie  lord  president  of 
the  principality  of  Wales,  and,  about  the  year  1G67, 
steward  of  Ludlow  castle.  ^  With  all  this,  the  court  was 
thought  to  have  been  guilty  of  a  glaring  neglect  in  his 
case,  and  tlie  public  were  scandalized  at  the  ingratitude. 
The  indigent  poets,  who  have  always  claimed  a  prescrip- 
tive riglit  to  live  on  the  munificence  of  their  colenipora- 
ries,  were  the  loudest  in  their  remonstrances.  Dryden, 
Oldham,  and  Otway,  while  in  appearance  they  com- 
plained of  the  unrewarded  merits  of  our  author,  oblique- 
ly lamented  their  private  and  particular  grievances  : 
TldrpoicSov  rrpuipaaiv,  aipdv  &'  avriy  Kf/ie'  ixa^o;  :t  or,  as  Sal- 
lust  says,  nulli  mortalium  iiijuriac  suae  pan'a;  videntur. 
Mr.  Butler's  own  sense  of  the  disappointment,  and  the 
impression  it  made  on  his  spirits,  are  sufficiently  marked 
by  the  circumstance  of  his  having  twice  transcribed  the 
following  disticii  with  some  variation  in  his  MS.  com- 
mon-place boot: 

To  lliink  how  Spenser  died,  how  Cowley  monrn'd, 
How  Butler's  faith  and  service  were  rettirn'd.t 


*  See  Granger's  Biographical  History  of  England,  octavo,  vol. 
Sv.  p.  40. 

t  llonicr— Iliad,  19,  303. 

i  I  Hill  iiwarc  ofa  di/ficiilly  that  maybe  started,  that  the  Tra 
pc-.iy  of  Con-^iaminc  llie  CJreal,  to  which  Olway  wrote  the  pro- 
losiie,  act'iriliii;;  to  flilcs  J.icoli  iii  his  poetical  Keiiister,  was  not 
acted  at  the  'I'lieatre  Royal  till  1C8I,  four  years  afler  our  poet's 
death,  hut  proliably  he  had  seen  llie  M.S.  or  heard  the  thought 
M  both  his  MSS.  differ  somewhat  frow  the  printed  copy. 


AUTHOR    OF    HUDIBRAS.  lb 

la  tlio  same  MS.  ho  s.iys,  "  wit  is  very  cliai-freable 
'  and  not  to  be  maintained  in  its  necessary  expenses  at 

*  an  ordinary  rate  :  it  is  tlio  worst  trade  in  the  world  to 

*  live  upon,  and  a  commodity  that  no  man  thinks  ho 
'  has  need  of,  for  those  who  have  least  believe  they  havo 
"  most." 

Ingenviily  and  wit 

Di)  only  make  tlic  owners  fit 
For  nolhini;,  Imt  to  ho  undone 
Rliitli  easier  than  if  lli'  had  none. 

Mi\  Butler  spent  some  time  in  France,  probably  whoii 
Lewis  XIV.  was  in  tlic  height  of  his  glory  and  vanity  : 
however,  neither  the  language  nor  manners  of  Paris 
were  pleasing  to  our  modest  poet ;  some  of  bis  observa- 
tions may  be  amusing,  I  shall  therefore  insert  them  in  a 
note.*     FIa_married  Mrs.  Herbert :  wliether  she  was  a 

*  "The  French  use  so  many  words,  upon  all  occ.isions.  that 
if  they  did  not  tut  them  short  in  pronunciation,  they  would  grow 
tedious  anil  insufferable. 

"  They  infinitely  aliect  rhyme,  though  it  becomes  their  Ian 
puage  the  worst  in  the  world,  and  spoils  the  little  sense  they 
have  to  make  room  for  it,  and  make  the  same  syllable  rhyme  to 
itself,  which  is  worse  than  metal  upon  metal  in  heraldry  :  they 
finil  it  much  easier  to  write  plays  in  verse  than  in  prose,  for  it  is 
much  liarder  to  imitate  nature,  than  any  deviation  from  her, 
and  prose  requires  a  more  proper  and  natural  sense  and  expres 
siop.  than  verse,  that  has  something  in  the  stamp  and  coin  to  an 
swer  lor  the  alloy  and  want  of  intrinsic  value.  I  never  came 
among  them,  but  the  following  line  was  in  my  mind: 

Raucaqne  garrulitas,  studiumque  inane  loquendi ; 
for  they  talk  so  much,  they  have  not  lime  to  think;  and  if  they 
had  all  the  wit  in  the  world,  their  tongues  would  run  before  it. 

"The  present  king  of  France  is  building  a  most  stately  tri 
umphal  arch  in  memory  of  his  victories,  and  the  great  actions 
which  he  has  perlorme<l  :  but,  if  I  am  not  mistaken,  those  edifi- 
ces which  l)car  that  name  at  Rome,  were  not  raised  by  the  em- 
perors whose  names  tiiey  bear,  (such  as  Trajan, Titus,  &c.,)  but 
were  decreed  by  the  Senate,  and  built  at  the  e.xpense  of  the  pub- 
lic ;  for  that  glory  is  lost,  which  any  man  designs  to  consecrate 
to  himself. 

"The  king  takes  a  verj'  good  course  to  weaken  the  city  of  Pa- 
ris by  adorning  of  it,  and  to  render  it  less,  by  making  it  appear 
greater  and  more  glorious  ;  for  he  pulls  down  whole  streets  to 
make  room  for  his  palaces  and  public  structunis. 

"There  is  nothing  great  or  magnificent  in  all  the  country,  that 
1  have  seen,  but  the  buildings  and  furniture  of  the  king's  houses 
and  the  churches;  all  tlie  rest  is  mean  and  paltry. 

"The  king  is  necessitated  to  lay  heavy  ta.xesupon  his  subjects 
in  his  own  defence,  and  to  keep  them  poor,  in  order  to  keep  then, 
quiet ;  for  if  they  are  suffered  to  enjoy  any  plenty,  they  are  natu- 
rally so  insolent,  that  they  would  become  ungovernable,  and  use 
him  as  they  have  done  his  predecessors:  but  he  has  rendered 
himself  so  strong,  that  they  have  no  thoughts  of  altenipting  any 
tfiing  in  bis  time. 
2 


/G  ON  SAMUEL  CUTLER     F.?Q., 

widow,  or  not,  is  uncertain  ;  with  lierhe  expected  a  con- 
siderable fortune,  but,  throutrli  various  losses,  and  kna- 
very, lie  found  liiniself  disappointed  :  to  this  some  have 
attributed  his  severe  strictures  upon  the  professors  of  the 
law  ;  but  if  his  censures  be  properly  considered,  they  will 
be  found  to  bear  hard  only  upon  the  disgraceful  part  of 
each  profession,  and  ujjon  false  learning  in  general :  this 
was  a  favorite  subject  with  him,  but  no  man  had  a  great- 
er regard  for, or  was  a  better  judge  of  the  worthy  part  of  the 
three  learned  professions,  or  learning  in  general,  than 
Mr.  Butler. 

How  long  he  continued  in  office,  as  steward  oL-Lt*d — 
Ipw  Cagile,  is  not  known ;  but  he  lived  the  latter  part 
of  his  life  in  Rose-street,  Covent  Garden,  in  a  studious 
retired  manner,  and  died  there  in  the  year  1680. — He 
is  said  to  have  been  buried  at  the  expense  of  Mr.  Wil- 
liam Longueville,  though  he  did  not  die  in  debt. 

Some  of  his  friends  wished  to  have  interred  him  in 
Westminster  Abbey  with  proper  solemnity ;  but  not 
finding  others  willing  to  contribute  to  the  expense,  his 
corpse  was  deposited  privately  in  the  yard  .belonging  to 
the  church  of  Saint  Paul's,  Covent  Garden,  at  the  west 
end  of  the  said  yard,  on  the  north  side,  under  the  wall 
of  the  said  church,  and  under  that  wall  which  parts  the 
yard  from  the  common  highway.*  I  have  been  thus 
particular,  because,  in  the  year  17SG,  when  the  church 
was  repaired,  a  marble  monument  was  placed  on  the 
south  side  of  the  church  on  the  inside,  bj'  some  of  the 
parishioners,  which  might  tend  to  mislead  posterity  as 
to  the  place  of  his  interment:  their  zeal  for  the  memory 
of  the  learned  poet  docs  tljem  honor ;  but  the  writer  of 
the  verses  seems  to  have  mistaken  the  character  of  Mr. 
Butler.     The  inscription  runs  thus: 

"  This  little  monument  was  erected  in  the  year  178(>. 
"  by  some   of  the  parishioners  of  Covent   Garden,   in 

"The  churchmen  overlook  all  other  people  as  hHiightily  as  the 
tnurches  and  steejjles  (Id  private  houses. 

"Tlie  French  do  nolhiny;  without  ostentation,  fjiri  the  kins 
himself  is  not  behind  willi  his  triiuiiphal  arches  co.isecrateU  to 
himself,  and  his  impress  of  the  sun,  nee  plurihus  impar. 

"The  French  kin;;  having  copies  of  the  best  pictures  from 
Rome,  is  as  a  great  prince  wearing  clothes  at  second  hand  :  the 
king  in  his  prodisious  charge  of  buildings  and  furniture  does  the 
name  thing  to  hunself  that  he  means  to  do  by  Paris,  renders  him- 
self weaker,  by  endeavoring  'ji  appear  the  more  niugniticeni:  lets 
go  the  substance  for  shadow.  ' 

*  See  Butler's  Life,  printed  before  the  small  edition  of  Hudi 
tras  in  1710,  and  reprinted  by  Dr.  Grey 


AUTHOR    OF    HUDIBRAS.  17 

memory  of  tlie  celebrated  Samuel  Butler,  wlio  was 
buried  in  this  church,  A.  D.  1C80. 

"  A  few  plain  men,  to  pomp  and  state  unknown, 
"O'er  a  poor  bard  have  raised  tliis  hiiriil)le  stone, 
"  Whose  wants  alone  his  genius  could  su-pass, 
"  Victim  of  zeal  !  the  matchless  Hudlhras  . 
"  What  though  fair  freedom  suffer'd  in  his  page, 
"  Reader,  forgive  the  author  for  the  age  I 
"  How  lew,  alas  !  disdain  to  cringe  and  cant, 
"  When  'tis  the  mode  to  play  tlie  sycophant. 
"  But,  oh  I  let  all  lie  taught,  from  Butler's  fate, 
"  Who  hope  to  make  their  fortunes  hy  the  great, 
"  riiat  wit  and  jiride  are  always  dangerous  things, 
"  And  little  faith  is  due  to  courts  and  kings." 

la  the  year  1721,  Jolin  Barber,  an  eminent  printer, 
and  alderman  of  London,  erected  a  monument  to  oui 
poet  in  Westminster  Abbey  ;  the  inscription  is  as  fol- 
lows : 

M.S. 
Samuelis  Butler 
Qui  Strenshamia;  in  agro  Vigorn.  natus  1012, 
Obiit  Lond.  I(i80. 
Vir  doctus  imprimis,  acer,  integer, 
Operihus  ingenii  non  item  prjemiis  felix. 
Satyrici  apud  nos  carminis  arlifex  egregius. 
Qui  simulata;  religionis  larvam  detra.vit 
-  Kt  perduellium  scelera  liberrime  exagitavit, 
Scriplorum  in  suogenere  primus  et  iiostremus 
Ke  cui  vivo  deerant  i'erc  ouuiia 
Deesset  etiam  mortuo  tumulus 
Hoc  tandem  posito  uiarmore  curavit 

Johannes  Barber  civis  Londinensis  17'JI. 

On  the  latter  part  of  this  epitaph  the  ingenious  Mr 
Samuel  Wesley  wrote  tlie  following  lines : 

/    While  Butler,  needy  wretch,  was  yet  alive, 
/    JS'o  generous  patron  would  a  dinner  give  ; 
/      See  him,  when  starved  to  death,  and  turn'd  to  dust, 
/       Preser.ted  with  a  monumental  bust. 

The  poet's  fate  is  here  in  emblem  shown, 
■       He  ask'd  for  bread,  and  he  received  a  stone. 

Soon  after  this  monument  was  erected  in  Westminstei 
Abbey,  some  persons  proposed  to  erect  one  in  Covent 
Garden  church,  for  which  Mr.  Dennis  wrote  the  follow- 
tug  inscription : 

Near  this  place  lies  interr'd 

The  body  of  Mr.  Sanuiel  Butler, 

Author  of  Hudibras. 

He  was  a  whole  species  of  poets  in  one  : 

Admirable  in  a  manner 
In  which  no  one  else  has  l)een  tolerable: 
A  manner  which  began  and  ended  in  him 


18  ON    SAMUEL    BUTLER     ESQ.. 

In  which  he  knew  no  {aJi<le, 

And  has  found  no  followers. 

Nat.  1012.     Ob.  lliSO. 

Hudibrasis  Mr.  Butler's  capital  work,  and  tliough 
the"cliaraclers,  poems,  thoughts,  &c.,  publislied  by  Mr. 
Thyer,  in  two  volumes  octavo,  are  certainly  written  by 
Hie  same  masterly  hand,  though  they  abound  in  lively 
sallies  of  wit,  and  display  a  copious  variety  of  erudition, 
yet  the  nature  of  the  subjects,  their  not  having  received 
the  autlior's  last  corrections,  and  many  other  reasons 
which  might  be.  given,  render  them  less  acceptable  tc 
the  present  taste  of  the  public,  which  no  longer  relishea 
the  antiquated  mode  of  writing  characters,  cultivated 
when  Butler  was  young,  by  men  of  genius,  such  as 
Bishop  Earie  and  Mr.  Cleveland  ;  the  volumes,  how- 
ever, are  very  useful,  as  they  tend  to  illustrate  many 
passages  in  Hudibras.  The  three  small  ones  entitled, 
Posthumous  Works,  in  Prose  and  Verse,  by  Mr.  Samuel 
Butler,  author  of  Hudibras,  printed  1715,  1716,  1717, 
are  all  spurious,  except  the  Pindaric  ode  on  Duval  the 
highwayman,  and  perhaps  one  or  two  of  the  prose 
pieces.  As  to  the  MSS.  which  after  I\Ir.  Butler's  death 
came  into  the  hands  of  Mr.  Longueville,  and  from 
whence  Mr.  Thyer  published  his  genuine  Remains  in 
the  year  1759  ;  wiiat  remain  of  them,  still  unpublished, 
are  either  in  the  hands  of  the  ingenious  Doctor  Farmer, 
of  Cambridge,  or  myself:  for  Mr.  Butler's  Connnon-place 
Book,  mentioned  by  Mr.  Thyer,  I  am  indebted  to  the  lib- 
eral and  public-spirited  James  IMasscy,  Esq..  of  Rosthern, 
near  Knotsford,  Cheshire.  The  poct'_s  .ficqin'iit_juul 
correct  use  of  law-terms*  is  ajsuffioicnt  proof  thaJtluj^, 
was  weir  versed  I'u  that  scTelice  ;  but  if  further  evidence 
<^fe  \vaTitnrig,-I -can  prodtTce'a  MS.  purchased  of  some 
of  our  poet's  relations,  at  the  Hay,  in  Brecknockshire : 
it  appears  to  be  a  collection  of  legal  cases  and  jmnciples, 
regulaily  related  from  Lord  Coke's  Commentary  on 
Littleton's  Teiuu'es:  the  language  is  Norman,  or  law 
French,  and,  in  general,  an  abridgment  of  the  above- 
mentioned  celebrated  work  ;  for  the  authorities  in  the 
margin  of  the  MS.  correspoi.d  e.vactly  with  those  given 
on  the  same  positions  in  the  fast  institute  ;  and  the  sub- 
ject matter  contained  iu  each  particular  section  of  But- 
fer's  legal  tract,  is  to  be  found  in  the  same  numbered 

•  Butler  is  said  to  have  been  a  member  of  Gray's-inn,  and  of 
a  elub  nitli  Cleveland  and  other  wits  inclined  to  the  .-oyal  cause 


AUTHOR     OF    HUDIBKAS.  19 

seclion  of  Coko  upon  Littleton  :  the  first  book  of  the 
MS.  likewise  ends  with  the  84tli  section,  which  sam. 
number  of  sections  also  terminates  the  first  institute 
and  tiiei"  second  book  of  the  MS.  is  entitled  by  Butler, 
Lo  second  livre  del  primer  part  del  institutes  do  ley 
d'En^leterre.  The  titles  of  the  respective  chapters  of 
the  MS.  also  precisely  agree  with  the  titles  of  each 
chapter  in  Coke  upon  Littleton ;  it  may,  therefore,  rea- 
sonably be  presumed  to  have  been  compiled  by  Butler 
solely  from  Coke  upon  Littleton,  with  no  other  object 
than  to  impress  strongly  on  his  mind  the  sense  of  that 
author;  and  written  in  Norman,  to  familiarize  himself 
with  the  barbarous  language  in  which  the  learning  of 
the  common  law  of  England  was  at  that  period  almost 
uniformly  expressed.  The  MS.  is  imperfect,  no  title 
existing,  some  leaves  being  torn,  and  is  continued  only 
to  the  193d  section,  which  is  about  the  middle  of  Coke's 
second  book  of  the  first  institute. 

As  another  instance  of  the  poet's  great  industry,  I 
have  a  French  dictionary,  compiled  and  transcribed  by 
him :  thus  did  our  ancestors,  with  great  labor,  draw 
truth  and  learning  out  of  deep  wells,  whereas  our  mod- 
ern scholars  only  skim  the  surface,  and  pilfer  a  super- 
ficial knowledge  from  encyclopasdias  and  reviews.  It 
doth  not  appear  that  he  ever  wrote  for  the  stage,  though 
I  have,  in  his  MS.  Common-place  book,  part  of  an  un- 
finished tragedy,  entitled  Nero. 

Concerning  Hudibras  there  is  but  one  sentiment — it 
i.-^  universally  allowed  fo  be  the  first,  and  last  pnem  nf  itm 
kind  ;  the  learning, .wit,  audUumot,  certainly  stiyid  un— 
"rivalled  ;  various  have  been  the  attempts  to  define  or 
descrrbe  the  two  last ;  the  greatest  Englisli.writers  have" 
tjied.  in  vain  ;  Cowley,*  Barrow,t  Dryden,t  Locke,^ 
Addison, II  Pope, If  and  Congreve,  all  failed  in  their  at- 
tempts ;  perhaps  they  are  more  to  be  felt  than  explain- 
ed, and  to  be  understood  rather  from  example  than  pre- 
cept ;  i(_any  one.wislies  to  know  what  wit  and  humor 
are,  let  him"  read  Hudibras  with  attention,  ho  will  there 
see  them  displayed  in  the  brightest  colors :  there  is  lus- 
tre resulting  from  the  quick  elucidation  of  an  object,  by 


*  In  his  Ode  on  Wit,— t  in  his  Sermon  againrt  Foolish  Talk 
ing  and  Jesting, — }  in  his  Preface  loan  Opera  called  the  State 
of  Innocence,— $  Essay  on  Human  Understanding,  b.  ii.  c. 'i. — 
I  Spectator,  Nos.  35  and  32. — '.\  Essay  concerning  humor  in 
Comedy,  and  C'orhyn  Morris's  Essay  on  Wit,  Humor,  and  Bail- 
icry. 


20  ON    SAMUEL    BUTLER,    ES«., 

a  just  and  unexpected  arranjjenient  of  it  with  anothei 
subject ;  inojjriety  of  words,  and  thoughts  e/egantly 
adapted  to  flie'occasion  :  objects  which  possess  an  af- 
finity and  congmity,  or  sometimes  a  contrast  to  each 
other,  assembled  with  quickness  and  variety  ;  in  short, 
every  ingred.ent  of  wit,  or  of  humor,  which  critics  have 
discovered  on  dissecting  them,  may  be  found  in  this 
poem.  Tlie  reader  may  congratulate  himself,  that  he 
is  not  destitute  of  taste  to  relish  both,  if  lie  can  read  it 
with  delight  ;  nor  would  it  bt  presumption  to  transfer  to 
this  capital  author,  Quinctilian's  enthusiastic  praise  of  a 
great  Ancient :  hunc  igitur  s|)ecte,mus,  iioc  pro])ositum 
eit  nobis  exemplum,  ille  se  profecisse  sciat  cui  Cicero 
valde  placebit. 

HudibrasisJojUJ.  £pic  po^Hl?  VO^t  a  good  farce  is  Iq 
a  tragedy  :  pcreons  advanced  in  years  generally  prefer 
the  former,  having  met  with  tragedies  enough  in  real 
life  ;  whereas  the  comedy,  or  interlude,  is  a  relief  from 
anxious  and  disgusting  reflections,  and  suggests  such 
playful  ideas,  as  wanton  round  the  heart  and  enliven 
the  very  features. 

Tiiejijno  jnarches  out  in  search  of  adventures^ JO) 
suppress  those  sports,  and  punisli  those  trivial  offences, 
wliioh  tl'iC  vulgar  among  the  royalists  were  fond  of,  Vuf 
which  the  Presbyterians  and  Independents  abhorred  ; 
and  which  our  hero,  as  a  magistrate  of  the  former  per- 
Kuasron,  thought  it  his  duty  officially  to  suppress.  The 
diction  is  that  of  burlesque  j)oelry,  i)uinling  loyv  aiid  mean 
persons  an"3TTnn^s  Tn  pompous  language,  and  a  mag- 
nificent manner,  or  soinetimes  levelling  sublime  and 
pomjjous  passages  to  the  standard  of  low  imagerv-  The 
-princijs^ijiclioiis. of  the  poem  are  four:  Xludibras's  \\c^ 
tgry  oytr  Crowdoro — Trulla's  victory  .over  li.ud['.bia&- 
lludibras's  victory  over  Sidrophcl — and  the  Widow's 
anti-masquerade  :  the  rest  is  made  up  of  the  adventures 
of  the  Hear,  of  the  Skinmiington,  Hud.bras's  conversa- 
tions with  the  Lawyer  and  Sidrophel,  and  his  long  dis- 
putations with  Rul|)ho  and  the  Widow.  'Hiiejversc  con- 
sists of  eight  syllables,  or  four  feet,  a  measure  vvtTlCllJ'JT;"  " 
unskilful  liands,  soon  becomes  tiresome,  and  will  eve; 
be  a  dangerous  snare  to  meaner  and  less  masterly  imi- 
•fttors. 

The  Scotch,  the  Irish,  the  American  Hudibras,  are 
not  worth  menlioi.ing :  the  translation  into  French,  by 
an  Englishman,  is  curious  ;  it  preserves  the  sense,  but 
cannot  keep  up  the  humor.     Prior  seems  to  have  como 

\ 


(VU'I'HOR    OF    HUDIBRAS.  21 

neaiest  tlie  oriirinul,  IhougU  lio  is  sensible  of  his  own  iu- 
feriority,  and  suys, 

But,  like  poor  Andrew,  I  advance, 
Fiilse  iiiiinic  of  my  imistei's  dunce  ; 
Around  the  tMH'd  awliile  I  sprawl. 
And  thence,  tlio'  low,  in  earneit  fall. 

His  Alma  is  neat  and  elegant,  and  liis  veitification 
Buperior  to  Butler's  ;  but  his  learning,  knowledge,  and 
wit,  by  no  means  equal.  Prior,  as  Dr.  Johnson  says, 
had  not  Butler's  exuberance  of  matter  and  variety  of 
illustration.  The  .s])anglesof  wit  which  he  could  allbrd, 
lie  kne'v  how  to  polish,  but  he  wanted  the  bullion  of  his 
master.  Hudibras,  then,  may  truly  be  said  to  be  tho 
first  and  last  satire  of  the  kind  ;  for  if  we  examine  Lu- 
cian's  Tragopodagra,  and  other  dialogues,  the  Caesars 
of  Jnlian,  Seneca's  Apocolocyntosis,*  and  some  frag- 
ments of  Varro,  they  will  be  found  very  different :  the 
battle  of  the  frogs  and  mice,  commonly  ascribed  to  Ho- 
mer, and  the  Margites,  generally  allowed  to  be  his, 
prove  this  species  of  poetry  to  be  of  great  antiquity. 

The  inventor  of  the  modern  mock  lieroic  was  Ales- 
sandro  Tassoni,  born  at  Modena,  15G5.  His  Secchia 
rapita,  or  Rape  of  the  Bucket,  is  founded  on  the  popu- 
lar account  of  the  cause  of  the  civil  war  between  the 
inhabitants  of  Modena  and  Bologna,  in  tho  time  of 
Frederic  II.  This  bucket  was  long  preserved,  as  a 
trophy,  in  the  cathedral  of  Modena,  suspended  by  the 
chain  which  fastened  the  gate  of  Bologna,  through 
which  the  Modenese  forced  their  passage,  ai,J  seized 
the  prize.  It  is  written  in  the  ottava  Rima,  the  solemn 
measure  of  the  Italian  heroic  poets,  has  gone  through 
many  editions,  and  been  twice  translated  into  French : 
it  has,  indeed,  considerable  merit,  though  the  reader 
will  scarcely  see  Elena  trasformasi  in  una  secchia. 
Tassoni  travelled  into  Spain  as  first  secretary  to  Cardi- 
nal Colonna,  and  died,  in  an  advanced  age,  in  the  court 
of  Francis  the  First,  duke  of  Modena :  lie  was  highly 
esteemed  for  his  abilities  and  e.vtensive  learning  ;  but^ 
like  Mr.   Butler's,  his  wit  was  applauded,   and  uure- 

•  Or  the  mock  deification  of  Claudius  ;  a  hurlesque  of  Apothe- 
osis or  Anathanatosis.  Reiniarus  renders  it,  nnn  inter  dcos  sed 
Inter  fatuos  relatio,  and  quotes  a  proverb  from  Apuleius,  Colc- 
eyntie  caput,  for  a  fool.  Colocynta  is  nietaphorically  put  for  any 
thing  unusu;illy  large.  Xijfiaj  »:oXo(Cvi'tm19,  in  the  Clouds  of 
Aristophanes,  is  to  liave  the  eye  swelled  by  an  obstruction  03 
jig  as  a  gourd. 


22  ON    SAMUKL    BUTLER,    ESQ.. 

warded,  as  appears  from  a  portrait  of  linn,  with  a  fig  it 
liis  hand,  under  wliich  is  written  the  following  distich  : 

Dcxicra  cur  ficiim  qureris  max  gcstat  innneni, 
Loiigi  operis  iiieices  hac  I'uit,  Aula  dedit. 

The  ne.xt  successful  imitators  of  the  mock-heroic, 
have  been  Boileau,  Garth,  and  Pope,  whose  respective 
works  are  too  generally  known,  and  too  justly  admired, 
to  require,  at  this  time,  description  or  encomium.  The 
Pucelle  d'Orleans  of  Voltaire  may  be  deemed  an  imita- 
tion of  Hudibras,  and  is  written  in  somewhat  the  same 
metre  ;  but  the  latter,  upon  the  whole,  must  be  con- 
sidered as  an  original  species  of  poetry,  a  composition 
sui  generis. 

Uiule  nil  majus  jieneratur  ipso  ; 

Neo  viget  quidqiuuu  simile  aul  secumluni. 

Hudibras  has  been  compared  to  the  Satyre  ]\Ienippee 
de  la  vertu  du  Catholicon  d'Espagne,  first  published  in 
France  in  the  year  1593  ;  the  subject  indeed  is  some- 
what similar,  a  violent  civil  war  excited  by  religious 
•zeal,  and  many  good  men  made  the  dupes  of  state  poli- 
ticians. After  the  death  of  Henry  IH.  of  France,  the 
Duke  de  Mayeace  called  together  the  states  of  the 
kingdom,  to  elect  a  successor,  there  being  many  pre- 
tenders to  the  crown  ;  these  intrigues  were  the  founda- 
tion of  the  Satire  of  Menippee,so  called  from  Menippus 
a  cynic  philosophe-r,  and  rough  satirist,  introducer  of  the 
burlesque  species  of  dialogue.  In  this  work  are  unveiled 
the  different  views  and  interests  of  the  several  actors  in 
those  busy  scenes,  who,  under  the  pretence  of  public 
good,  consulted  only  their  private  advantage,  passions, 
and  prejudices. 

The  book,  which  aims  particularly  at  the  Spanish 
party,*  went  through  various  editions  from  its  first  pub- 


*  It  is  sometimes  called  Tliguero  del  infiernn,  or  the  fig-tree  of 
Hell,  alluding  to  the  violent  part  the  Spaniarils  took  in  the  civil 
wars  ol"  France,  and  in  allusion  to  the  title  of  Seneca's  Apocolo 
cyntosis.  By  this  (ig-tree  the  author  perhaps  means  the  won 
derful  hir  or  banian  described  by  Milton. 

The  fig-tree,  not  that  kind  for  fruit  rcnown'd, 
But  such  as  at  this  day  to  Indians  known 
In  iMalahar  or  Decan,  spreads  his  arms, 
Braiuhing  so  broad  and  long,  that  in  the  ground 
The  bended  twigs  take  root,  nnd  daughters  grow 
About  the  mother  tree;  a  pillar'd  shade 
Jlish  over-arch'd,  and  echoing  walks  between. 


AUTHOR    OF    HUDIBKAS.  23 

lication  to  172G,  wlicn  it  was  printed  at  Ratisbone  iii 
three  volumes,  witli  copious  notes  and  index :  it  is  still 
studied  by  antiquaries  with  delight,  and' in  its  day  was 
as  much  admired  as  Hudibras.  D'Aubign^  says  of  it, 
il  passe  pour  un  chef  d'oeuvre  en  son  gendre,  et  fnt  lue 
avec  une  egale  avidite,  et  avec  un  plaisir  mei-veilleux 
par  les  royalistcs,  par  les  politiques,  par  les  Huguenots 
fit  par  les  ligueurs  do  toutes  les  especes.* 

M.  de  Thou's  character  of  it  is  equally  to  its  advan- 
tage. The  principal  author  is  said  to  be  Monsieur  le 
Roy,  sometime  chaplain  to  the  Cardinal  de  Bourbon, 
tvhom  Thuanus  calls  vir  bonus,  et  a  factione  summo 
alienus. 

This  satire  differs  widely  from  our  author's:  like  those 
of  Varro,  Seneca,  and  Julian,  it  is  a  mixture  of  verse  and 
prose,  and  though  it  contains  much  wit,  and  Mr.  Butler 
had  certainly  read  it  with  attention,  yet  he  cannot  be 
said  to  imitate  it:  the  reader  will  perceive  tliat  our  poet 
had  in  view  Don  Quixote,  Spenser,  the  Italian  poets, 
together  with  the  Greek  and  Roman  classics :  but  very 
rarely,  if  ever,  alludes  to  Milton,  though  Paradise  Lost 
was  published  ten  years  before  the  third  part  of  Hu- 
dibras. 

Other  sorts  of  burlesque  have  been  published,  such 
as  the  Carmina  Macaronica,  the  Epistolae  Obscurorum 
Virorum,  Cotton's  Travesty,  &c.,  but  tliese  are  efforts 


Mr.  Ives,  in  his  Journey  from  Persia,  thus  speaks  of  this  won- 
derful vegetHbie  :  "This  is  tlie  Indian  sacred  tree  ;  it  grows  to  ;i 
'•  jirodijiious  height,  and  its  branches  spread  a  great  way.  The 
'•  limbs  drop  down  filirous,  wliich  take  root,  and  become  another 
"tree,  united  l)y  its  branches  to  the  first,  and  so  continue  to  do, 
"  until  the  tree  cover  a  great  extent  of  ground  ;  the  arches  which 
"  those  diti'erent  slocks  make  are  Gothic,  like  those  we  see  in 
"  Westminster  Abbey,  the  stocks  not  being  single,  but  appearing 
"as  if  composed  of  many  stocks,  are  of  a  great  circuml'erence 
"There  is  a  certain  solemnity  accompanying  these  trees,  nor  dn 
"I  remember  that  I  was  ever  under  the  cover  of  any  of  them, 
"  but  that  my  mind  was  at  the  time  impressed  with  a  reverential 
''awe."  From  hence  it  seems,  that  both  these  authors  thought 
Gothic  architecture  similar  to  embowered  rows  of  trees. 

The  Indian  tig-tree  is  described  as  of  an  inmiense  size,  capable 
of  shading  800  or  1,003  men,  and  some  of  them  3,00n  persons. 
In  Mr.  Marsden's  History  of  f^umalra,  the  following  is  an  account 
of  the  dimensions  of  a  remarkable  banyan-tree  near  IJanjer, 
twenty  miles  west  of  Patna,  in  Bengal.  Diameter  3G3  to  373 
feet,  circumfisrence  of  its  shadow  at  noon  1, 110  feet,  circumfcr 
ence  of  the  several  stems,  (in  number  50  or  GO.)  ^11  feet. 

*  Henatilt  says  of  this  work,  Pent-eire  (juo  la  satire  Menip|H5« 
ne  fut  gueres  moius  utile  si  Henri  IV.  que  la  bataille  d'lvri:  te 
{idicule  a  plus  de  force  qu'on  ne  croit 


24  ON    SAMUEL    BUTLER,    ESy. 

of  genius  of  no  great  imporlance.  Many  burlesque  and 
satirical  poems,  and  prose  compositions,  were  published 
in  France  between  the  years  1593  and  IGGO,  the  au- 
thors of  which  were  Rabelais,*  Scarron,  and  others; 
the  Cardinal  is  said  to  have  severely  fe't  the  Maza- 
rcnade. 

A  popular  song  or  poem  has  always  had  a  wonderful 
effect ;  the  following  is  an  excellent  one  from  jEschyius, 
sung  at  the  battle  of  Salarnis,  at  which  he  was  present, 
and  engaged  in  the  Athenian  squadron. 

^Jl  Tza7ics  '  EAA(/i'a)v  ire, 

iXevBepouTc  iraTpii',  iXevdcpovTC  fie 
Tzalia;,  yvi'aJKas,  Bciov  re  rorp-.'wv  eiri, 
OiJKai  Te  TTpoydiWv'  vvv  vicip  ndvTuiv  ayuv. 

iEich.  t'ersE,  1.  400. 

TliB  ode  of  Callistratus  is  supposed  to  have  done  em- 
inent service,  by  commemorating  the  delivery,  and  pre- 
venting the  return  of  that  tyranny  in  Athens,  which 
was  happily  terminated  by  the.  death  of  Hipparchus, 
and  expulsion  of  the  Pisistratida- ;  I  mean  a  song  which 
was  sung  at  their  feasts  beginning, 

Ey  fivpTov  K\a&i  to  £,i(J>oi  ^oprjaio, 
Siainp  ApjjoStos  k'  AfJis-oysiVui', 
oVt  Tov  Tvpnvi'Ov  KTavirtjv, 
laovupov;  t   AOijvas  li:oir]adTr]v. 

And  ending. 

Ad  ciiiai  K^i'os  lactTai  kut'  aiav, 
(piXrad'  Appdiic  /c'  Apt^oytiTov, 
OTi  rdv  ripavpov  KTavtrov 
laovCjiov;  t   AOr/fai  iTTOifiaarov. 

Of  this  song  the  learned  Lowth  says,  Si  post  idus  illas 
Martias  e  Tyrannoctonis  quispiam  tale  aliquod  carmen 
plebi  tradidisset,  inque  suburram,  et  fori  circulos,  et  in 
era  vulgi  intulisset,  actum  profecto  fuisset  de  partibus 
deque  dominatioue  CiEsarum  :  plus  mehercule  valuisset 
unum  AppoStov  pi\oi  quam  Ciceronis  Philij)picoe  omnes; 
and  again,  Num  verendum  erat  ne  quis  tyrannidem 
Pisistratidarum  Athenis  instaurare  auderet,  nbi  cantita- 
retur  SkJAiov  ilhid  Callistrati. — See  also  Israelitarum 
E>ittviKiov,  Isaiah,  chapter  xiv. 

Of  this  kind  was  the  famous  Irish  song  called  Lilli- 


•  [Probably  a  misprint.     Rabelais  died  in  1553,  and  his  work 
las  flrst  published  at  Lyons  in  1533.] 


AUTHOR     or    UUDIBKAS.  2b 

biirlero,  M-liicli  just  before  the  Revolution  in  1G88,  had 
such  an  cft'fct,  that  Burnet  says,  "  a  fooHsh  ballad  was 
"  made  at  that  time,  treating  tlie  papists,  and  chietly 
"the  Irish,  iu  a  very  ridiculous  manner,  which  had  a 
"  burthen  said  to  be  Irish  words',  Loro  loro  Hiliburloro, 
"  that  made  an  impression  on  Iho  (king's)  army  that 
"  cannot  bo  imagined  by  those  that  saw  it  not.  The 
•'  whole  army,  and  at  last  the  people,  both  in  city  and 
"country,  were  singing  it  perpetually:  and  perhaps 
"  never  had  so  slight  a  thing  so  good  an  effect."  Of 
this  kind  in  modern  days  was  the  song  of  God  save 
great  George  our  king,  and  the  Ca  ira  of  Paris.  Thus 
wonderfully  did  Iludibras  operate  in  beating  down  tho 
hypocrisy,  and  false  patriotism  of  hii  time.  Mr.  Hay- 
ley  gives  a  character  of  him  in  four  lines  with  great 
propriety : 

"Unrivall'd  Butler  !  blest  with  lia;)i)y  skill 
"To  he:il  liy  comic  verse  each  se.-ir.cis  ill, 
"  By  wit's  strong  flashes  reason's  li?ht  dispense, 
"And  laugh  a  frantic  nation  into  sense.'' 

For  one  gre^f.  objent  of  oiir  jpoet's  satire  Js  tojiiiyijtisk  '  ' 
the  hypoci'ite,  and  to  exhibit,  m  a  llglit  at  once  odious 
and  ridiculous,  the  Presbyterians  and  Independents,  aiid 
ajTr^other  sects,  whicli  in  our  poet's  days  amounted  to 
near  two  hundred,'  and  were  enemies  to  the  King  ;  but  jA 
his  ftitlJiB4-  view  was-Xo  bAuteji alj_the  false,  and  even  all 
the  suspicious  pretences  to  learning  that'prevailed  in  his 
IjijUC  such  as  astrology,  sympathetic  medicine,  alchymy, 
transfusion  of  blood,  triflng  experimental  philosophy, 
fortniie-telling,  iucrediblt-"  relations  of  travellers,  false 
wit,  and  injudicious  affec'Uion  of  ornament  to  be  found 
m,  the  poets,  romance  winters,  &c. ;  thus  he  frequently 
'Chides  to  Purchas's  Pilgrim,  Sir  Kenclm  Digby's  books, 
Bulwer's  Artificial  Changeling,  Brown's  Vulgar  Errors, 
Burton's  Melancholy,  the  early  transactions  of  the  Royal 
Society,  the  various  j)amphlets  and  poems  of  his  time, 
&c.,  &c.  These  books,  though  now  little  known,  were 
much  reac  and  admired  in  our  author's  days.  The  ad- 
venture with  the  widow  is  introduced  in  conformity  with 
other  poets,  both  heroic  and  dramatic,  who  hold  that  no 
poem  can  be  perfect  which  hath  not  at  least  one  Epi- 
Fode  of  Love. 

It  is  not  worth  while  to  inquire,  if  the  characters 
painted  under  the  fictitious  names  of  Hudibras,  Crow 
dero,  Orsin,  Talgol,  TruUa,  &,c ,  were  drawn  from  real 
life,  or  whether  Sir  Roger  L'Estrange's  key  to  Iliidi- 


26  o^^   samuel  builer,  esq., 

bras  be  a  true  one  ;  it  matters  not  whether  the  lien  v,"ere 
designed  as  the  picture  of  Sir  Samuel  Luke,  Col.  .  iolls, 
DT  Sir  Henry  Rosewell,  he  is,  in  the  language  of  Dr  tdeu, 
iiiiight  of  the  Siiire,  and  represents  tliem  ail,  that  is,  the 
whole  body  of  the  Presbyterians,  as  Ralpho  does  that  of 
the  Independents  it  would  be  degrading  the  liberal 
spirit  and  univei-sal  genius  of  Mr.  Butler,  to  narrow  l:is 
general  satire  to  a  particular  libel  on  any  characters, 
however  marked  and  prominent.  To  a  single  rogue,  or 
blockhead,  he  disdained  to  sloop ;  the  vices  and  follies 
of  the  age  in  which  he  lived,  (et  quando  uberior  vitiorum 
copia,)  were  the  quarry  at  which  he  fled  ;  these  he  con- 
centrated, and  embodied  in  the  persons  of  Hudibras, 
Ralpho,  Sidrophel,  &.C.,  so  that  each  character  in  this 
admirable  poem  should  be  considered,  not  as<au  individ- 
ual, but  as  a  species./ 

It  is  not  general^  known,  that  meanings  still  more 
remote  and  chimerical  than  mere  .personal  allusions, 
have  been  discovered  in  Hudibras  ;  and  the  poem  would 
have  wanted  one  of  those  marks  which  distinguish  works 
of  superior  merit,  if  it  had  not  been  supposed  to  be  a 
perpetual  allegory:  writers  of  eminence,  Homer,  Plato, 
and  even  the  Holy  Scriptures  themselves,  have  been 
most  wretchedly  misrepresented  by  commentators  of 
this  cast ;  and  it  is  astonishing  to  observe  to  what  a  de- 
gree Heraclides*  and  Proclus,t  Philof  and  Origen,  have 
lost  sight  .of  their  usual  good  sense,  when  they  have 


*  The  .'MleEnriffi  Ilomericce,  Gr.  Lat.,  published  by  Dean  Gale, 
Aiiist.  1088,  ihdugh  usually  a<ci;i>e(l  to  Heraclides  Ponticus,  tlio 
I'lalonist,  mu-t  be  the  woHiofa  liiore  recent  aiuhor,  as  the  Dean 
has  proved  :  his  real  name  seeiiJs  to  have  been  Heraclitus,  (not 
the  philosopher,)  and  nulhin^  more  is  known  of  him,  but  that 
Eustalhius  often  cites  him  in  his  comment  on  Homer:  the  tract, 
however,  is  elegant  and  agreeable,  and  may  be  read  with  im 
liiovenient  and  pleasure. 

t  Prnclus,  the  most  learned  philosopher  of  the  fifth  century, 
left  among  other  writings  numerous  comments  on  Plato's  works 
Mill  subsisting,  so  slufi'ed  with  allegorical  absurdities,  that  few 
who  have  peru-ed  two  periods,  will  have  patience  to  venture 
on  a  third.  In  this,  he  only  follows  the  example  of  Atlicus,  and 
ijiany  others,  whose  interpretations,  as  wild  as  his  own  he  care- 
fully examines.  He  sneers  at  the  famous  Longinus  w.th  much 
conlempt.  for  adhering  too  servilely  to  the  literal  meaning  of 
Plato. 

I  I'hilo  tlie  Jew  discovered  many  mystical  senses  in  the  Pen- 
tateuch, and  from  him,  i)erhaps,  Origen  learned  his  unhappy 
knack  of  allegori/.ins  both  Old  and  Nev,  Testament.  This,  iu 
ustice,  however,  is  due  to  Origen,  that  while  he  is  hunting  after 
bbstruse  senses,  he  doth  not  neglect  the  literal,  but  is  sometimea 
\uippy  in  his  criticisms 


AUTHOR    OF    HUDIBRAS.  'Z  i 

allowed  themselves  to  depart  from  the  obvious  and  literal 
meaning  of  the  text,  which  they  pretend  to  explain. 
Thus  some  have  thought  that  tlio  hero  of  the  piece  was 
intended  to  lepresent  the  parliament,  especially  that  part 
of  it  which  favored  the  Presbyterian  discipline  ;  when 
in  the  stocks,  he  personates  tiie  Presbyterians  after  they 
had  lost  their  power ;  his  first  exploit  is  against  the  bear, 
whom  lie  routs,  which  represents  the  parliament  getting 
the  better  of  the  king  :  after  this  great  victory,  he  courts 
a  widow  for  her  jointure,  that  is,  the  riclies  and  power 
of  the  kingdom  ;  being  scorned  by  her,  he  retires,  hat 
the  revival  of  hope  to  the  royalists  draws  forth  both 
him  and  his  squire,  a  little  before  Sir  George  Booth's 
insurrection.  Magnano,  Cerdon,  Talgol,  &i-c.,  though 
described  as  butciiers,  coblers,  tinkers,  were  designed  as 
olBcers  in  the  parliament  army,  whose  original  profes- 
sions, perhaps,  were  not  much  more  noble :  some  have 
imagined  Magnano  to  be  the  duke  of  Albemarle,  and 
his  getting  thistles  from  a  barren  land,  to  allude  to  his 
power  in  Scotland,  especially  after  the  defeat  of  Booth. 
Trulla  his  wife,  Crowdero  Sir  George  Booth,  whose 
bringing  in  of  Bruin  alludes  to  his  endeavors  to  restore 
the  king :  his  oaken  leg,  called  the  better  one,  is  the 
king's  cause,  his  other  leg  the  Presbyterian  discipline ; 
his  fiddle-case,  which  in  sport  they  hung  as  a  trophy 
on  the  whipping-post,  the  directory.  Ralpho,  they  say, 
represents  the  parliament  of  Independents,  called  Barc- 
boues  Parliament ;  Bruin  is  sometimes  the  royal  person, 
sometimes  the  king's  adherents ;  Orsiu  represents  the 
royal  party — Talgol  the  city  of  London — Colon  the 
bulk  of  the  people :  all  these  joining  together  against 
the  knight,  represent  Sir  George  Booth's  conspiracy, 
with  Presbyterians  and  royalists,  against  the  parliament : 
tlieir  overthrow,  through  the  assistance  of  Ralph,  means 
the  defeat  of  Booth  by  the  assistance  of  the  Independ- 
ents and  other  fanatics.  These  ideas  are,  perhaps,  only 
the  phrensy  of  a  wild  imagination,  though  there  may  be 
some  lilies  that  seem  to  favor  the  conceit. 

Diyden  and  Addison  have  censured  Butler  for  hia 
double  jh^mes ;  the  latter  nowhere  argues  worse  than 
upon  tills  subject:  "  If,"  says  he,  "the  thought  in  the 
"  couplet  be  good,  the  rnymes  add  little  to  it ;  and  if 
"  bad,  it  will  not  be  in  the  power  of  rhyme  to  recom. 
"  mend  it.  I  am  afraid  that  great  numbers  of  those 
"  who  admire  the  incompar'tble  Hudibras,  do  it  more  on 
"  account  of  these  doggerel  rhymes,  than  the  parts  that 
3 


Z8  ON    SAMUEL    BUTLER,    ESQ., 

"  really  deserve  admiralion."*  ^his  reflection  aflTeots 
equally  ail  sorts  of  rhyme,  which  certainly  can  add 
nothing  to  tiio  sense  ;  bat  double  rhymes  are  like  the 
whimsical  dress  of  Harlequin,  which  does  not  add  to 
his  wit,  but  sometimes  increases  the  humor  and  drollery 
of  it .  they  are  not  sought  for,  but,  when  they  como 
easily,  are  always  diverting:  they  are  so  seldom  found 
in  Hudibras,  as  hardly  to  be  an  object  of  censure,  espe- 
cially as  tlie  diction  and  the  rhyme  both  suit  well  with 
the  character  of  the  hero. 

It  must  be  allowed  that  our  poet  doth  not  exhibit  his 
hero  witii  the  dignity  of  Cervantes ;  but  the  principal 
fault  of  the  i)oem  is,  that  the  parts  are  unconnected, 
anclThe  storj'  not  interestmg:  the  reader  may  leaVe  off 
Wilabtrt-bcing  anxious  for  the  fate  of  his  hero ;  he  sees 
only  dii^jtcla  membra  poette  ;  but  we  should  remember, 
that  the  parts  were  published  at  long  intervals, +  anc) 
that  severai  ol  THe"  different  caiilo's  Were  designed  as 
satires  on  different  subjects  or  extravagancies.  What 
the  judicious  Abbe  du  Bos  has  said  res])ecting  Ariosto, 
may  be  true  of  Butler,  that,  in  comparison  with  him, 
Homer  is  a  geometrician :  the  poem  is  seldom  read  a 
Becond  time,  often  not  a  first  in  regular  order ;  that  is, 
by  passing  from  the  first  canto  to  the  second,  and  so  ou 
in  succession.  Spenser,  Ariosto,  and  Butler,  did  not  live 
iu  au  age  of  planning ;  the  last  imitated  the  former 
poets — "  his  poetry  is  the  careless  exuberance  of  a  witty 
"  imagination  and  great  learning." 

I^aaltlias  likewise  been  foimd,  and  perhaps  justly, 
with  tTTFlooTfeqiient  elisions,  the  harshness  of  tiib  num- 
bers, and  the  leaving  out  the  signs  of  our  substantives ; 
his  inattention  to  grammar  and  syntax,  which,  in  some 
passages,  may  have  contributed  to  obscure  his  mearing, 
as  the  perplexity  of  others  arises  from  the  amazing  fiuit- 
fulness  of  his  imagination,  and  extent  of  his  reading. 
Most  writers  have  more  words  than  ideas,  and  the  reader 
wastes  much  pains  with  them,  and  gets  little  informa- 
tion or  amusement.  Butler,  ou  the  contrary,  has  more 
ideas  than  words,  his  wit  and  learning  crowd  so  fast 
upon  him,  that  he  cannot  find  room  or  time  to  arrange 
them  :  hence  his  periods  become  sometimes  embarrassed 
and  obscure,  and  his  dialogues  are  too  long.  Our  jioet 
lias  been  charged  witii  obscenity,   evil-speaking,  and 

*  Spectator,  No.  GO. 

t  The  Epislle  lo  Si(lro]ihel,  not  till  many  years  altir  the  ciinto 
to  which  it  is  unnexed. 


AUTHOR    OF    HUDIBRAS.  29 

profaiiciioss ;  but  satirists  will  take  liberties.  Juvenal 
and  that  elegant  poet  Horace,  must  plead  his  cause,  so 
far  as  the  accusation  is  well  founded. 

Some  apology  may  be  necessary,  or  expected,  when 
a  person   advanced   in  years,  and   without  the   proper 
qualifications,  shall  undertake  to  publish,  and  conmiont 
upon,  one  of  the  most  learned  and  ingpnious  writers  in 
our  language  ;  and,  if  the  editor's  true  and  obvious  mo- 
lives  will  not  avail  to  excuse  him,  he  must  plead  guilty. 
The  frequent  pleasure  and  amusement  he  had  received 
from  the  perusal  of  the  poem,  naturally  bred  a  respect 
for  the  meniory  and  character  of  the  author,  whijh  is 
further  endeared  to  him  by  a  local  relation  to  the  r onn- 
ty,  and  to  the  parish,  so  highly  honored  by  the  birlh  of 
Mr.  Butler.     These  considerations  induced  him  to  at- 
tempt an  edition,  more  pompous  perhaps,  and  expensive, 
than  was  necessary,  but  not  too  splendid  for  the  merit 
of  the  work.     While  Shakspeare,  Milton,  AValler,  Pope, 
and  the  rest  of  our  English  classics,  appear  with  every 
advantage  that  either  printing  or  criticism  can  supply, 
v/hy  should  not  Hudibras  share  those  ornaments  at  least 
with  them  which  may  be  derived  from  the  present  im- 
proved state  of  typography  and  paper?     Some  of  the 
dark  allusions,  in  Hudibras,  to  history,  voyages,  and  the 
abstruser  parts  of  what  was  then  called  learning,  the 
author  himself  was  careful  to  explain  in  a  series  of^notes 
to  the  first  two  parts ;  for  the  annotations  to  the  third 
part,  as  has  been  before  observed,  do  not  seem  to  como 
from  the  same  hand.     In  most  other  respects,  the  poem 
may  be  presumed  to  have  been  tolerably  clear  to  the  or- 
dinary class  of  readers  at  its  first  publication  :  but,  in  a 
course  of  years,  the  unavoidable  fluctuations  of  language, 
the  disuse  of  customs  then   familiar,   and   the  oblivion 
which  bath  stolen  on   facts  and  characters  then  com- 
monly known,  have  superinduced  an  obscurity  on  seve- 
ral passages  of  the  work,  which  did  not   originally  bo- 
long  to  it.     The  principal,  if  not  the  sole  view,  of  the 
annotations  now  offered  to  the  public,  hath  been  to  re- 
move these  difficulties,  and  point  out  some  of  the  passa- 
ges in  the  Greek  and  Roman  authors  to  which  the  poet 
alludes,  in  order  to  render  Hudibras  more  intelligible  to 
persons  of  the  commentator's   level,   men   of  middiinc 
capacity,  and  limited  information.     To  such,  if  his  re'^ 
marks  shall  bo  found  useful  and  acceptable,  he  will  be 
content,  though  they  should  appear  triflnig  in  the  eati- 
mation  of  the  more  learned. 


30  0.\    SAMUEL    BUTLER,    ESQ., 

It  is  extraordinary,  that  for  above  a  hundred  ana 
twenty  years,  only  one  commentator  hath  furnished 
notes  of  any  considerable  length.  Doctor  Grey  had  va- 
rious friends,  particularly  Bishop  Warburtou,  Mr.  Byrou, 
and  several  gentlemen  of  Cambridge,  who  oommuuica- 
led  to  liim  learned  and  ingenious  obsei-vations :  these 
have  been  occasionally  adopted  without  scruple,  have 
been  abridged,  or  enlarged,  or  altered,  as  best  consisted 
with  a  plan,  somewhat  difierent  fron;  the  doctor's  ;  but 
in  such  a  manner  as  to  preclude  any  other  tlian  a  gene- 
ral acknowledgment  from  the  infinite  perplexity  that  a 
minute  and  particular  reference  to  them  at  every  turn, 
would  occasion  ;  nor  has  the  editor  been  witiiout  the  as- 
sistance of  his  friends. 

It  is  well  known  in  Worcestershire,  that  long  before 
the  appearance  of  Doctor  Grey's  edition,  a  learned  and 
worthy  clergyman  of  tiiat  county,  after  reading  Hudi 
bras  with  attention,  had  compiled  a  set  of  observations, 
with  design  to  reprint  the  poem,  and  to  subjoin  his  own 
remarks.  By  tlio  friendship  of  his  descendants,  the 
present  publisher  hath  been  favored  with  a  sight  of  those 
papers,  and  though,  in  commenting  on  the  same  work, 
the  annotator  must  unavoidably  have  coincided  with, 
and  been  anticipated  by  Dr.  Grey  in  numerous  instan- 
ces, yet  much  original  infonnation  remained,  of  which 
a  free  and  unreserved  use  hath  been  made  in  the  fol- 
lowing sheets  ;  but  he  is  forbid  any  further  acknowledg- 
ment. 

He  is  likewise  much  obliged  to  Dr.  Loveday,  of  Wil- 
liamscot,  near  Banbury,  the  worthy  son  of  a  worthy 
father  ;  the  abilities  and  correctness  of  the  former  can 
be  equalled  only  by  the  learning  and  critical  acumen  of 
the  latter.  He  begs  leave  likewise  to  take  this  opportu- 
nity of  returning  his  thanks  to  his  learned  and  worthy 
neighbor  Mr.  Iiigruham,  from  whose  conversation  much 
information  and  eutertainment  has  been  received  on 
many  subjects. 

Mr.  Samuel  Westley,  brother  to  the  celebrated  John 
Wcstley,  had  a  design  of  publishing  an  edition  of  Hudi- 
bras  with  notes.  He  aj)plied  to  Loid  O.vford  for  the  use 
of  his  books  in  his  library,  and  his  Lordship  wrote  him 
the  following  obliging  answer  from  Dover-street,  August 
7,  ll'i-i  — "  I  ain  very  glad  you  was  reduced  to  read 
"over  Hudibr-i3  three  times  with  care:  I  find  you  are 
''perfeclly  of  my  mind,  that  it  much  wants  n<ites,  and 
"  that  it  will  bo  a  great  work  ;  certainly  it  will  be,  to  da 


AUTHOR    OF     IIUDIDRAS.  3l 

"  it  as  it  sliould  bo.  I  do  -lot  know  ouo  so  capable  of 
"  doing  it  as  voiirself.  1  spouk  this  very  sincerely. 
"  Lilly's  liib  I  have,  and  any  books  that  I  havo  you 
"  shall  see,  and  have  tlio  pcrnsal  of  them,  and  any  other 
"  part  that  I  can  assist.  I  own  I  am  very  fond  of  the 
"  work,  and  it  would  bo  of  excellent  uso  and  entertain- 
"  rnent. 

"  The  news  you  read  in  the  papers  of  a  match  with 
"  my  daughter  and  the  Dnko  of  Portland  was  completed 
"  at  Mary-lc-bonne  chapel,"  &c.* 

What  })rogress  ho  made  in  the  work,  or  what  bccanio 
of  his  notes,  I  could  never  learn. 


*  Extract  of  a  letter  from  I-ord  Oxforil,  taken  from  oriuinal  let- 
ters by  the  Iteverend  John  VVestlcy  and  his  friends,  illustralive 
of  h'\i  early  history,  puhlisheU  by  Joseuh  Triestlev.  LL,  D, 
orinteJ  al  Biriiiinghain  17yi 


PART  I.    CANTO  I 

THE  ARGUMENT. 

Sm  IIuDiBRAS*  his  passing  worth 
The  rnuniicr  how  he  sally'd  forth  ; 
His  arms  and  equipage  are  shown  ; 
His  horse's  virtues  and  liis  own. 
Th'  adventure  of  the  bear  and  fiddle 
Is  sung,  but  breaks  off  in  the  middle.t 

*  Butler  probably  took  this  name  from  gpenser's  Fairy  Quepl 
B.  ii.  C.  ii.  Si.  17. 

He  that  made  love  unto  the  eldest  dame 
Was  hight  Sir  Hudilmis,  an  hardy  man  : 
Yet  not  so  (.'odd  ol' deeds,  as  great  <il'nanie. 
Which  he  liy  many  rash  adventures  wan, 
Since  errant  arms  to  sew  he  tirst  began. 

GeofTry  of  Monmouth  mentions  a  British  king  of  this  name, 
thoujih  some  have  sU|i;iosed  it  derived  trom  the  French,  Hugo, 
Hu  d'e  Bras,  signifying  Hugh  the  powerful,  or  with  the  strong 
arm  :  thus  Forlinliras,  Firebras. 

In  the  Grub-street  Journal,  Col.  Rolls,  a  Devonshire  gentle- 
man, is  said  to  lie  satirized  under  the  character  of  Hudibras; 
and  it  is  asserted,  that  Hugh  de  Bras  was  the  name  of  the  olU 
tutelar  saint  of  that  county:  but  it  is  idle  to  look  for  personal 
relltctions  in  a  poem  designed  for  aj;enej^l_f  a^tire jm  hyjKjcrisj, 
enthusiasm,  and  false  leaj-ytijig.  

'f  liislidp  Warluirioii  observes  very  justly,  that  this  is  a  ridi- 
cule on  Uuusurd's  Franciude  and  Sir  William  Davenanfs  Gon- 
ililiert 


HUDIBRAS 


CANTO  T. 

WiiKN  civil  fury  first  grew  high,* 
And  men  fell  out,  tiiey  knew  not  wliy  ;t 
When  liard  words,  jealousies,  and  fears,t 
Set  folks  together  by  the  ears, 


*  In  the  first  edition  of  the  first  part  of  this  poem,  printed 
rcpiirately,  we  read  dudgeon.  Biiton  the  piil)liciition  of  llie  sec- 
ond part,  when  the  fir^t  was  reprinted  with  several  additions 
and  alterations,  the  wurd  dudgeon  was  clianged  to  fury  ;  as  ap 
pears  in  a  copy  corrected  liy  the  author's  own  hand.  Tlie  pnb- 
iishcr  in  1704,  and  the  siilisequent  ones,  have  taken  the  liberty 
of  correcting  the  auilior's  copy,  restored  the  word  diidjieon,  and 
many  other  readings:  changing  theni,  I  think  I  may  say,  for  the 
worse,  in  several  passages.  Indeed,  while  the  Editor  of  1704 
replaces  this  word,  and  contends  for  it,  he  seems  to  show  its  im 
propriety.  "To  take  in  dudceon,"  says  he,  "  is  inwardly  to  re 
"  sent,  a  sort  of  grumliling  in  the  gizzard,  and  what  was  previous 
"to  actual  fury."  Yet  in  the  next  lines  wc  have  men  filling 
out,  set  together  by  the  ears,  and  fighting.  1  doulit  not  hut  the 
inconsistency  of  these  expressions  occurred  to  the  author,  and 
induced  him  to  change  the  word,  that  his  sense  might  be  clear, 
and  the  a;ra  of  his  poem  certain  and  uniforjn. — Dudgeon,  in  its 
primitive  sense,  signifies  a  dagger;  and  figuratively,  such  hatred 
and  sullenness  as  occasion  men  to  employ  short  concealed 
weapons.  Some  readers  may  be  fond  of  the  word  dmigeon,  as 
a  burlesque  term,  and  suitable,  as  Ihey  think,  to  the  nature  of 
the  |Kjein  :  hut  the  judicious  critic  will  oh-^crve,  that  the  poet  is 
not  always  in  a  drolling  humor,  and  might  not  think  lit  to  fall 
nto  it  in  the  first  line  :  he  chooses  his  words  not  by  the  oddness 
or  uncouihness  of  the  sound,  but  by  the  propriety  of  their  sig- 
nification. Besides,  the  word  dudgeon,  in  the  figurative  sense, 
though  not  in  its  primitive  one,  is  generally  taken  lor  a  nionoptoto 
.n  the  ablative  case,  to  take  in  dudgeon,  which  might  be  anothcf 
reason  why  the  poet  changed  it  into  fury.    See  line  379. 

t  Dr.  Perrincheifs  Life  of  Charles  I.  says,  "  There  will  never 
"  be  wanting,  in  any  country,  some  discontented  spirits,  and 
"  some  designing  craftsmen  :  but  when  these  contusions  Imgan, 
''  the  more  part  knew  not  wherefore  they  were  come  together." 

t  Hard  words — I'robably  the  jargon  and  cant-words  used  by 
the  Presbyterians,  and  other  sectsrics.  They  called  themselves 
the  elect,  the  saints,  the  predestinated  :  and  their  opponenta 
they  called  Papists,  Prelatvsts,  ill-designing,  reprobate,  profligate, 
&:c  &.C 


34  HUDIBRAS.  [Piiii 

And  made  them  fight,  like  mad  or  drunk, 
For  dame  Religion  as  for  Punk  ;* 


"III   ihfi  liody  ivilitic,  when  the  spiriliwl  anrl  windy  power 
■  niovi-th  the  iiiciiihcrs  ol"  a  cominonweiillh.  ami  by  slranye  and 
"  hard  words  sutlucaies  their  understanding,  it  must  needs  Ihere- 
'  hy  distract  the   people,  and  either  overwliclin  the  common- 
wealth with  oppression,  or  cast  it  into  the  lire  of  a  civil  wai  " 

IIODIlliS.  „  ,        ,  ,        r- 

Jtnyousics— Bishop  Burnet,  in  the  house  of  lords,  on  the  firft 
article  of  the  impedchment  of  Sacheverel,  says,  "  The  true  oc 
"casion  of  the  war  was  a  jealousy,  that  a  conduct  of  fifteen 
"years  had  jiiven  too  much  ground  for;  and  that  was  still  kept 

'  up  l)y  a  fatal  train  of  errors  in  every  step."  See  also  the  king's 
speech,  Dec.  2.  1G41. 

.Iiid  fears— 0{  ^^uperstition  and  Popery  in  the  church,  and  of 
arbitrary  power  an<l  tyranny  in  the  state;  and  so  prepossessed 
were  many  persons  with  thpse  fears,  that,  like  the  hero  of  this 
poem,  they  woulil  imagine  a  bear-baiting  to  be  a  deep  design 
against  the  religion  and  liberty  of  the  country.  l>ord  Cliirendon 
tells  us,  that  the  English  were  the  Iiappiest  people  under  the 
sun,  while  the  king  was  undisturbed  in  the  administration  of 
justice  ;  but  a  too  much  felicity  had  made  them  unmanageable 
by  moderate  government ;  a  long  peace  having  softened  almost 
all  the  noblesse  into  court  pleasures,  and  made  the  commoners 
insolent  l)y  great  plenty. 

King  Charles,  in  the  fourth  year  of  his  reign,  tells  the  lords, 
'•  We  have  been  willing  so  far  to  descend  to  the  desires  of  om 
"good  subjects,  as  fully  io  satisfie  all  moderate  minds,  and  free 

'  them  from  all  just  fears  and  jealousies."  The  words  jealousies 
and  fears,  were  bandied  between  the  king  and  the  parliament  in 
all  their  papers,  before  the  absolute  breaking  out  of  the  war 
They  were  used  by  tlie  parliament  to  the  king,  in  their  petition 
for  the  militia,  March  1,  1G41-2;  and  by  the  king  in  his  answer: 
"You  speak  of  jealousies  and  fears,  lay  your  hands  to  your 
"  hearts  and  ask  yourselves,  whether  I  mtiy  not  be  disturbed 
"  with  jealousies  and  fears."  And  the  parliament,  in  their  de- 
claration to  the  king  at  Newmarket,  March  t),  say,  '  Those  fears 
'•  and  jealousies  of  ours  which  your  majesty  thinks  to  be  cause- 
■■'  less,  and  without  just  ground,  do  necessarily  and  clearly  arise 
"  from  those  dangers  and  distempers  into  which  your  evil  coun- 
"  cils  have  brought  us :  but  those  other  fears  and  jeahutsies  of 
"yours,  have  no  founilation  or  subsistence  in  any  action,  inten 
tion,  or  miscarriage  of  ours,  but  are  merely  grounded  on  false 

'  hood  anil  malice." 

The  terms  had  been  used  before  by  the  Earl  of  Carlisle  to 
James  I.,  14  Feb.  )(J23.    "  Nothing  will  more  dishearten  the  en- 

'  vious  maligners  of  your  majesty's  felicity  and  encourage  your 
"  true-hearted  friends  and  servants,  than  me  removing  those 
"  false  fears  and  jealousies,  which  are  mere  imaginary  phan- 
"  tasms,  and  bod.es  of  air  easily  dissipated,  whensoever  it  shall 
"  please  the  sun  of  your  majesty  to  shew  itself  clearly  in  ite 

•native  brightness,  lustre,  and  goodness." 

*  run/.— From  the  Anglo  Saxon  pung ;  it  sisnifics  a  hawd 
Anus  instar  corii  ad  ignem  siccali.  (Skinner.)  Sometimes  sror 
turn,  scortillum.    Sir  John  Suckling  says. 

Religion  now  is  a  young  mistress  here 

For  which  each  man  will  fight  and  die  at  least: 

Let  it  alone  awhile,  and  'twill  become 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  35 

Wliose  honesty  they  all  durst  swear  for, 

Tlio'  not  a  man  of  them  knew  wherefore 

When  Gospel-Trumpeter,  surrounded 

With  Ion<j-ear"d  rout,  to  battle  sounded,*  jq 

And  pulpit,  drum  ecelesiastick, 

Was  beat  with  fist,  instead  of  a  stick  ;t 

Then  did  Sir  Knight  abandon  dwelling,  - 

5iid  out  he  rode  a  colonelling.t 

A  Wiglit  he  was,§  whose  veiy  sight  wouid  la 

Entitle  him  Mirror  of  Knight-hood  ;|| 


A  kind  of  married  wife  ;  people  will  be 
Content  to  live  with  it  in  quielncss. 

*  Mr.  Butler  told  Thomas  Veal,  esquire,  of  Simons-hall, 
Gloucestershire,  that  the  I'uritans  had  a  cusioni  of  piiuinj;  their 
Vands  behind  their  ears,  at  sermons,  and  bending  Ihem  furward, 
under  pretence  of  hearinj;  the  better.  He  had  seen  five  hundred 
or  a  thousand  large  ears  pricked  up  as  soon  as  the  text  was 
named.  Besides,  they  wore  their  hair  very  short,  which  slewed 
their  ears  the  more.     See  Godwin's  notes  in  Bodley  library. 

Dr.  Bulwer  in  his  Anthropometamorphosis,  or  Artificial 
Chanjielin};.  tells  us  wonderful  stories  of  the  size  of  men's  ears 
in  some  countries. — I'liny,  lib.  7,  r.  2,  speaks  of  a  people  on  the 
borders  of  India,  who  covered  themselves  with  their  ears.  And 
Purchas,  in  his  Piljirim,  sailh,  that  in  the  island  .'\rncetto,  there 
are  men  and  women  havinif  ears  of  such  bigness,  that  they  lie 
apon  one  as  a  bed,  and  cover  themselves  with  the  other. 

I  here  mention  the  idle  tales  of  these  authors,  because  their 
works,  together  with  Brown's  Vulgar  Errors,  are  the  frequent 
object  of  our  poet's  satire. 

t  It  is  suliiciently  known  from  the  history  of  those  times,  that 
the  seeds  of  rebellion  were  firs'  sown,  and  afterwards  cultivated, 
oy  the  factious  preachers  in  conventicles,  and  the  seditious  and 
schismatical  lecturers,  who  had  crept  into  many  churches,  es- 
pecially about  London.  "These  men,"  says  Lord  Clarendon, 
"  had,  from  the  beginning  of  the  parliament,  infused  seditious 
"inclinations  into  the  hearts  of  all  men,  against  the  government 
■'  in  church  and  state  :  but  after  the  raising  an  army,  and  reject- 
'  iiig  the. king's  overtures  for  peace,  they  contained  themselves 
■'  within  no  bounds,  but  filled  all  the  pulpits  with  alarms  of  ruin 
"and  deslruclion.  if  a  peace  were  offered  or  accepted,"  These 
preachers  used  violent  action,  and  made  the  pulpit  an  instru- 
ment of  sedition,  as  the  drum  was  of  war.  Dr.  South,  in  one  of 
his  sermons,  says,  "The  pulpit  supplied  the  field  with  sword 
—men,  and  the  parlianienl-housc  with  incendiaries." 

t  Some  have  imagined  from  hence,  that  by  Hudibras,  was  in- 
fended  Sir  Saumel  Luke  of  Bedfordshire.  Sir  Samuel  was  an 
»ctive  justice  of  the  peace,  chairman  of  the  quarter  sessions, 
colonel  of  a  regiment  of  foot  in  the  pirliament  army,  and  a 
committee-man  of  that  county  :  but  the  poet's  satire  is  general, 
not  persimal. 

$  Wight  is  originally  a  Saxon  word,  and  signifies  a  person  ni 
Jeing.  It  is  often  used  by  Chaucer,  and  the  old  poets.  Somt 
Limes  it  means  a  witch  or  conjuroi'. 

II  A  favorite  title  in  romances. 


3C  IIUDIBRAS.  [Parti 

That  never  bent  his  stubborn  knee* 

7'o  any  thiiiii  but  cliivah  y  ; 

Nor  put  up  blow,  but  that  which  laid 

Right  \vorshipl"ui  on  shoulder-blade  :t    '  9) 

Chief  of  domestic  knights,  and  errant, 

Either  for  cliartelt  or  for  warrant : 

Great  on  the  bench,  great  in  the  saddle, 

That  could  as  well  bind  o'er,  as  swaddle  :§ 

Mighty  he  was  at  both  of  these,  SS 

And  stvl'd  of  War  as  well  as  Peace. 

So  some  rats  of  amphibious  nature, 

Are  either  for  the  land  or  water. 

But  here  our  aulhors  make  a  doubt, 

Whether  he  were  more  wise,  or  stout. ||  30 

Some  hold  the  one,  and  some  the  other ; 

But  howsoe'er  they  make  a  pother, 

The  diff 'rence  was  so  small,  his  brain 

Outweigh'd  his  rage  but  half  a  grain  ; 

Which  made  some  take  him  for  a  tool  35 

That  knaves  do  work  with,  call'd  a  Fool ; 

And  ofter'd  to  lay  wagers,  that 

As  Montaigne,  playing  with  his  cat, 


*  Alluding  to  the  Presbyterians,  who  refused  to  kneel  at  the 
Bacraincnt  of  the  Lord's  i^upper,  and  insisted  upon  receiving  it 
in  a  sittinc  or  standing  posture.  See  Baxter's  Lile.  &c.  &c.  In 
some  of  the  itirks  in  Scotland,  the  pews  are  so  made,  that  it  ia 
very  diflicnlt  for  any  one  to  knpel. 

t  That  is,  did  not  sulfcr  a  Mow  to  pass  unrcvenged,  c.veept  the 
one  I)"  iviiich  the  king  knighte<l  him. 

t  For  a  challenge.  He  was  a  military  as  well  as  a  civil  offi 
cer— 

ifupdrcpav  fiaai\t(ii  t    ayaOhi  Kparcpdi  r'  a(X(i»;r^5.  _ 

Pope  translates  it, 

Great  in  the  war,  and  great  in  arts  of  sway. 

//.  iii.  23G. 

Plutarch  tells  us,  that  Alexander  the  Great  was  wonderfully 
<lclighled  with  this  line. 

^  Swadille.— Thill  is,  to  beat  or  cudgel,  says  Johnson  ;  but  tho 
word  in  the  Saxon,  signifies  to  bind  up,  to  try  to  heal  by  proper 
bandages  and  applications;  hence  the  verb  to  S!/jfl(Ac.  and  tho 
adjective  swadUliiiir  clothes  ;  the  line  therefore  may  signify,  that 
his  worship  could  either  make  peace,  and  heal  disjiutes  among 
his  neighbors,  or,  if  they  could  not  agree,  bind  them  over  to  the 
sessions  for  trial. 

I'  A  burlesque  on  the  usual  strain  of  rhetorical  flattery,  when 
BUthors|iretend  to  he  puz/.leil  which  of  their  patrons'  noblo 
qualities  they  should  give  the  preference  to.  Something  similai 
to  this  passage  is  the  saying  of  Julius  Capitolinus,  concerning 
the  emperor  Vtrus  ;  "  melior  orator  quam  pocta,  aut  ut  verius 

dicani  pejor  pueta  quam  orator  " 


Canto  iJ  IIUDIBRAS.  37 

Complains  she  thought  him  hut  an  ass,* 

Much  nioro  she  wou'd^Sir  Hudibraa.:  40 

For  that's  the  name  cm'  vahant  knight 

'i'o  all  ills  challenges  did  write. 

But  they're  mistaken  very  much, 

'Tis  plain  enough  he  was  no  such  : 

We.  {ri;iiit.  althniiirh  lie  Imd  mui;|i  wl^,    •  j; 

II'  was  very  shy  (jf  using  it  ;t" 

As  being  loth  lo  wear  li  our, 

And  therefore  bore  it  not  about, 

Unless  on  holy-days,  or  so, 

As  men  their  best  apparel  do.  50 

Besides,  'tis  known  he  could  speak  Greek" 

As  naturally  as  pigs  squcek  : 

That  Latin  was  no  more  diflicile, 

Than  to  a  blackbird  'tis  to  whistle  : 

Being  rich  in  both,  he  never  scanted  53 

His  bounty  unto  such  as  wanted ; 

Bnt  much  of  either  wou'd  atlord 

To  many,  that  had  not  one  word. 

For  Hebrew  roots,  although  they're  found 

To  flourish  most  in  barren  ground, t  GO 

He  had  such  plenty,  as  sutfic'd 

To  make  some  think  him  circumcis'd  ; 

And  tndy  so,  perhaps,  he  was, 

'Tis  many  a  pious  Christian's  case.§ 


*  "When  my  cat  and  I,"  says  Montaigne,  "enter(f.ln  each 
'other  with  mutual  apish  tricks,  as  playing  with  a  gartey,  who 
"  knows  but  I  make  her  more  .sport  than  she  nnkes  me  7  shall  I 
"conclude  lier  simple,  who  lias  her  time  to  begin  or  refuse  sport- 
'  iveness  as  freely  as  I  myself  7  Nay,  who  knows  but  she  laughs 
"  at,  and  censures,  my  folly,  for  making  her  spo  t,  and  pities  me 
"  for  understanding  her  no  better  1"  And  of  animals — "  ils  nous 
"  peuvent  eslimer  bfites,  comma  nous  les  estinions.'' 

t  The  poet,  in  depicting  our  knight,  blends  together  his  great 
pretensions,  and  his  real  abilities;  giving  him  high  encomiums 
on  his  affected  character,  and  dashing  them  again  with  his  true 
and  natural  imperfections.  He  was  a  pretended  saint,  but  in 
fact  a  very  great  hypocrite  ;  a  great  champion,  though  an  errant 
coward  ;  famed  for  learning,  yet  a  shallow  pedant. 

t  Some  students  in  Hebrew  have  been  very  angry  with  these 
lines, and  assert,  that  they  have  done  more  to  prevent  the  study 
of  that  language,  than  all  the  professors  have  done  to  promote 
I.  See  a  letter  to  the  printer  of  the  Diary,  dated  .January  ]5. 
1789,  and  signed  John  Ryland.  The  word  fur,  here  i):eans, 
is  to. 

$  In  the  first  editions  this  couplet  was  ditferently  cxprs'.scv? . 

^Ind  truly  so  he.  was.  perhaps, 
JsTut  as  a  proselyte,  but  fur  claps. 

Many  vulcar,  and  .'*ome  indecent  nhrases.  were  nfu  t  corrected 


US  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  i 

'    He  was  in  Logic  a  great  critic,*  69 

Trofoundiy  skill'd  in  Analytic  ; 

He  could  distinguish,  and  divide 

A  hair  'twixt  soutli  and  south-west  side  ; 

On  either  side  he  would  dispute, 

Confute,  change  hands,  and  still  confute  -,1  70 

He'd  undertake  to  prove  by  force 

Of  argument  a  man's  no  horse  ; 

He'd  prove  a  buzzard  is  no  fowl. 

And  that  a  Lord  may  be  an  owl  ; 

A  calf  an  Alderman,  a  goose  a  Justice, t  73 

And  rooks  Committee-Men  or  Trustees.^ 

He'd  run  in  debt  by  disputation. 

And  pay  with  ratiocinatioa 

All  this  by  syllogism  true, 

In  mood  and  figure,  he  would  do.  gC 

For  Rhetoric,  he  could  not  ope 
His  mouth,  but  out  there  flew  a  trope  : 
And  when  he  happen'd  to  break  off 
I'  til'  middle  of  his  speech,  or  cough, 


by  Mr.  Duller.     And,  indeed,  as  Mr.  Cowley  observes,  in  his  Ode 
nn  Wit, 

'tis  just 

The  author  blush,  there,  where  the  reader  must 

*  In  some  following  lines  the  abuses  of  human  learning  are 
finely  satirized.     . 

t  Carne:ides,  the  academic,  having  one  d.iy  disputed  at  Rome 
very  Copiously  in  praise  of  justice,  refuted  every  word  on  the 
morrow,  liy  a  train  of  contrary  arguments.  Something  similar 
is  said  of  Cardinal  Perron. 

t  A  dog'^erel  .Alexandrine  placed  in  the  first  line  of  the  couplet, 
as  it  is  sometimes  in  heroic  Ale.vandrines ;  thus  Dryden — 

650  all  the  use  we  make  of  heaven's  discover'd  will. 

See  his  Rtligio  I^aici. 

^  A  rook  is  a  well-known  black  bird,  said  by  the  glossarists  to 
be  comix  frugivora,  and  supposed  by  them  to  devour  the  grain; 
hence,  by  a  figure,  applieil  to  sharpers  and  cheats.  Thus  the 
committee-men  harassed  and  oppressed  the  country,  devouring, 
in  an  arbitrary  manner,  the  property  of  those  they  (fid  not  like, 
and  this  under  the  authority  of  parliament.  Trustees  are  ofteo 
mentioned  by  our  poet.    See  p.  3.  c.  1,  1.  1510. 

In  Scobel's  collection  is  an  ordinance,  1049,  for  the  saie  ai  thft 
royal  lands  in  order  to  pay  the  arn)y ;  the  common  soldiers  pur 
chasing  by  regiments,  like  corporations,  and  having  trustees  fol 
rho  whole.  These  trustees  either  purchased  the  soldiers'  shares 
at  a  very  small  price,  or  sometimes  cheated  the  officers  and  sol- 
diers, by  detaining  these  trust  estates  for  their  own  use.  The 
same  happened  often  with  regard  to  the  church  lands :  but  13 
Ch.  II.  an  act  passed  for  restoring  all  advowsons,  glebe-land: 
»nd  tylhes,  &c.  to  his  majesty's  loyal  subjects. 


f^j^TO  I.J  JIUDIBUAS.  39 

rr  had  hard  words,  ready  to  shew  why  8J 

Aiid_tc[l  \vlKit  rules  lio  did  it  by.* 

ETso,  when  with  (jrcutest  art  lie  spoke, 

Vou'd  think  ho  talk'd  like  other  folk. 

For  all  a  liiietoriciuu's  rules 

Teach  iiotiiiiig  but  to  name  his  tools.  H 

His  ordinarj"  rate  of  speech 

In  loftiness  of  sound  was  rich  ; 

A.  Babylonisli  dialect, 

Which  learned  pedants  much  affect ; 

It  was  a  [)arti-color'd  dress  U6 

Of  patch'd  and  piebal'  languages  : 

'Twas  English  cut  on  Greek  and  Latin, 

Like  fustian  heretofore  on  satin.t 

It  had  an  odd  promiscuous  tone 

As  if  h'  had  talk'd  tiuee  parts  in  one  ;  100 

Which  made  some  think,  when  he  did  gabble, 

Th'  had  iicard  three  laborers  of  Babel  ;t 

Or  Cerberus  himself  pronounce 

A  leasii  of  languages  at  once.^ 

This  he  as  volubly  would  vent  105 

As  if  his  stock  would  ne'er  be  spent : 

*  1.  e.  Aposinpesis — duos  epo — sefl  motos,  &c. 
Or  cough. — The  preachers  of  those  days,  looked  upon  cough- 
Ina;  and  liemtiiing  as  ornaments  of  speech  ;  and  when  they 
printed  their  sermons,  noteil  in  the  margin  where  the  preacher 
coughed  or  heinrn'd.  This  practice  was  not  confined  to  Eng- 
land, for  Olivier  Maillard,  a  Cordelier,  and  famous  preacher 
printed  a  sermon  at  Brussels  in  the  year  1500,  and  marked  in  the 
margin  where  the  preacher  hemm'd  once  or  twice,  or  coughed. 
See  the  French  notes. 

t  The  slashed  sleeves  anil  hose  may  he  seen  in  the,  pictures 
tif  Dohson,  Vandyke,  and  others  ;  but  one  would  conjecture  from 
Ihe  word  heretofore,  that  they  were  not  in  common  wear  in  our 
joet's  time. 
i  tn  Dr.  Donne's  Satires,  by  Pope,  we  read, 

Ycu  prove  yourself  so  able, 
Pity  I  you  were  not  Drnggerman  at  Babel ; 
For  had  they  found  a  linguist  half  so  good 
I  make  no  question  but  the  tower  had  stood. 

^  "Our  Borderers,  to  this-day,  speak  a  leash  of  languages 
''  (British,  Saxon,  and  Danish)  in  one  :  and  it  is  hard  to  determine 
"  which  of  those  three  nations  has  the  greatest  share  in  the 
"  motley  breed."  Camden's  Britannia — Cumberland,  p.  1010. 
Ilutler,  in  his  character  of  a  lawyer,  p.  107, — says,  "he  overruns 
'  liatin  and  Frencii  with  greater  barbarism  than  the  Goths  did 
"Italy  and  France;  and  maixs  as  mad  a  confusion  of  language, 
by  mi.ving  both  with  English."  Statins,  rather  ridiculously, 
.litroduces  Janus  haranguin,^  and  comiilimenting  Domitian  with 
•oth  liis  mouths, 

levat  ecce,  supinas 
Hinc  atque  inde  inanus,  gcminilque  haec  voce  profatnr. 
4 


10 


nijUlBRAS  Part 


And  Irn!)',  to  support  that  charge, 
He  liad  supplies  us  vast  and  large 
For  he  could  coin,  or  couuterfeit 

New  words  with  little  or  no  wit:*  IIO 

TVor'ds  so  debas'd  and  hard,  no  stone 
Was  hard  enough  to  touch  iheni  on  ;t 
And  when  with  hasty  noise  he  spoke'em 
The  ignorant  for  current  took'etn 
That  iiad  the  orator,  wlio  once  llf. 

Did  fill  his  mouth  with  pebble  stones 
When  he  harangu'd,  but  known  his  phrase, 
He  would  have  ns'd  no  other  ways.t 

In_AIatheniatics  he  was  greater 
Than  Tyclfo  Brahe,  or  Erra  Pater  :§  I2fl 

For  he,  by  geometric  scale. 
Could  take  the  size  of  pots  of  ale  ; 
Resolve,  by  sines  and  tangents  straight, 
If  bread  or  butter  wanted  weight  ;|| 
And  wisely  tell  what  hour  o'  Ih'  day  125 

The  clock  does  strike,  by-  Algebra. 

Beside,  he  vvasa  shrc\v3  Philosopher, 
And  had  read  ev'ry  text  and  gloss  over: 
Whate'er  the  crabbcd"st  author  hath,1T 
He  understood  b'  implicit  faith  :  VAi 

Whatever  Skeptic  could  inquire  for  ; 
For  every  wiiv  he  had  a  wherefore:** 
Knew  more  than  forty  of  them  do. 
As  far  £is  words  and  terms  could  go. 


*  The  Presbyterians  coined  and  composed  many  new  words, 
such  as  out  t!oings,  carryings-on,  nothingness,  worliings-out,  go* 
pel-walking  times,  secret  ones,  &c.  &c- 

t  This  seems  to  lie  the  riuht  reading;  and  alludes  to  the 
touchstone.  Though  liishop  Warlmrton  conjectures,  that  tone 
ought  to  he  read  here  instead  of  stone. 

t  These  four  lines  are  not  found  in  the  first  two  editions. 
They  allude  to  the  well-known  sU)ry  of  Demosthenes. 

§  Erra  I'atcr  is  the  nickname  of  some  ignorant  astrologer.  A 
little  piillry  Ixiok  of  the  rules  of  Erra  Pater  is  still  vended  among 
the  vultiar.  1  do  not  think  that  hy  Erra  Pater,  the  poet  meant 
William  I/illy,  Imt  some  rontemplihle  person,  to  oppose  to  the 
great  Tycho  lirahe.  Anticlimax  was  Butler's  favorite  figure, 
and  one  great  machine  of  his  drollery. 

II  He  cciiild,  by  trigonometry,  discover  the  exact  dimensions  of 
a  loaf  of  bread,  or  roll  of  butter.  The  poet  likeviise  intimates 
that  his  hero  w.is  an  over-olflcious  magistrate,  sc;rrching  out 
little  olfences,  and  levying  fines  and  forfeitures  upon  th(!m.  .See 
Taljol's  speech  in  the  next  canto. 

1  If  any  copv  would  warrant  it.  1  should  read  "author  saith.' 

••  Th!-'.  is,  he  could  elude  one  diflic.ulty  by  projKjsing  another 
lar  anjwer  one  question  by  proposing  another. 


l.ANTo  I.J  IIUDIBUAS  41 

All  which  ho  understood  by  rote,  135 

And,  as  occasion  serv'd,  would  quote ; 

No  matter  whetlier  right  or  wrong, 

Tliey  might  bo  eitiier  said  or  sung. 

His  notions  fitted  tilings  so  well, 

That  which  was  whicli  he  could  not  tell  ,»  ijo 

But  oftentimes  mistook  tlie  one 

For  »h'  other,  as  great  clerks  have  done 

He  could  reduce  all  things  to  acts, 

And  knew  their  natures  by  abstracts  ;t 

Where  entity  and  quiddity,  145 

The  ghost  of  defunct  bodies  fly  ;} 

Where  Truth  in  person  does  appear,§ 

Like  words  congeal'd  in  northern  air.  || 

He  knew  what's  what,  and  that's  as  liigli 

As  metuphysic  wit  can  fly.H  iSO 

In  school-di\nnity  as  able 
As  he  that  higlit  irrefragable  ;** 

*  He  had  a  jumble  of  in;iny  confused  notions  in  his  head, 
which  he  could  n<it  apply  to  any  uselul  purpo-se  :  or  perhaps  the 
poet  alludes  to  those  |)hiloso[iliers  who  took  their  ideas  of  sub- 
stances to  be  the  coiiiljinations  of  nature,  and  not  tlie  arbitrary 
\v(irl\niansliip  of  the  human  mind. 

t  A  thing  is  in  potentia,  when  It  is  possible,  but  does  not 
actually  exist ;  a  thing  is  in  act,  wlien  it  is  not  only  possible,  but 
does  exist.  A  thing  is  said  to  be  reduced  from  power  into  act, 
when  that  which  was  only  possible,  begins  really  to  exist:  how- 
far  we  can  know  the  nature  of  things  by  abstracts,  has  long  been 
a  dispute.  See  Locke's  l.ssayon  the  Human  Understanding; 
and  consult  the  old  met;iphysicians  if  you  think  it  worth  while 

t  A  fine  satire  upon  the  abstracted  notions  of  the  metaphy- 
sicians, calling  the  metaphysical  natures  the  ghosts  or  shadows 
of  real  substances. 

^  Some  authors  have  mistaken  truth  for  a  real  thing  or  person, 
w  hereas  it  is  nothing  but  a  right  method  of  putting  those  notions 
ov  images  of  things  (in  the  understanding  of  man)  into  the  same 
state  and  order  that  their  originals  hold  in  nature.  Thus  Aris- 
totle, Met.  lib.  ij.  Unumquociciue  sicut  se  habet  secundum  esse 
ita  se  habet  secundfAm  veritatem. 

II  See  Rabelais's  Pantagruel,  livre  4,  ch.  56,  which  hint  is 
Unproved  and  drawn  into  a  paper  in  the  Tatler,  No.  254.  In 
Uabelais,  Pantagruel  throws  upon  deck  three  or  four  handfula 
of  frozen  words,  il  en  jecta  sus  le  tillac  troisou  tiuatie  poignees: 
el  y  veids  des  parolles  bien  piciuanles. 

'.r  The  jest  here  is,  (living,  by  a  low  and  vulgar  expression,  an 
apt  description  of  the  science.  In  the  old  systems  of  logic,  quid 
est  quid  was  a  common  question. 

**  Two  lines  originally  followed  in  this  place,  which  were 
afterwards  omitted  by  the  author  in  his  corrected  copy,  viz 
A  second  Thomas  ;  or  at  once. 
To  name  them  all,  another  Duns 

Perhaps,  upon  recollection,  he  thought  this  great  man,  Aquinas, 
deserving  of  better  treatment,  or  perhaps  he  was  ashamed  of  the 
pun.    However  as  the  passage  noM  stands,  it  is  in  ininitable 


jS^  HUDIBRAS.  [I'ART  i 

A  second  Thomas,  or  at  once, 

To  name  them  all,  another  Duns: 

Profound  in  all  tlio  nominal,  156 

And  real  ways,  beyond  liiem  ill  ; 

And,  with  as  delicate  a  hand. 

Could  twist  as  tough  a  rope  of  sand  ;* 

And  weave  fine  cobwebs,  fit  for  scull 

That's  empty  when  the  ni'oon  is  lull  ;1  103 

Such  as  take  lodgings  in  a  head 

That's  to  be  let  unfurnished. 

He  could  raise  scruples  dark  and  uice, 

And  after  solve  'em  in  a  trice ; 

As  if  Divinity  had  catch'd  165 

The  itch,  on  purpose  to  be  scratch'd  ; 

Or,  like  a  mountebank,  did  wound 

And  stab  iicrself  with  doubts  profound, 

Only  to  sliow  with  how  small  jiain 

The  sores  of  Faith  are  cur'd  again  ;  iTO 

Altlio'  by  woful  proof  we  find, 

They  always  leave  a  scar  behind. 

He  knew  the  seat  of  Paradise, 

Could  tell  in  what  degree  it  lies;! 

satire  upon  the  old  school  divines,  who  were  niai  y  of  thctn 
honored  wilh  some  e.\travii';ant  epithet,  and  as  Vix-ll  known 
by  it  as  liy  their  proper  names :  thus  Alexander  Hales,  was 
called  doctor  irrel'rajjable.  or  iuvincihle  ;  Thomas  Aquinas,  the 
anselic  doctor,  or  eagle  of  divines  ;  DiiiiScotus,  ihesibtle  doctor. 
This  last  was  father  of  the  Reals,  and  William  Ocham  of  the 
Noniinals.  They  were  both  of  Merton  colleL'e  in  Oxford,  where 
ihey  gave  rise  to  an  odd  custom.  See  Ploit's  Oxford-hire,  pa'je 
28o. — HijrlU,  a  Saxon  and  Old  English  participle  passive,  signi 
fying  calltd. 

*  A  proverbial  saying,  when  men  lose  their  labor  by  busying 
themselves  in  trifles,  or  attempting  things  impossible. 

t  That  js,  subtle  questions  or  foolish  conceits,  lit  for  the  brain 
of* a  madman  or  lunatic. 

}  '•  I'aradisum  locum  diu  multumqne  qujBsitum  per  terrarum 
"orbem;  ncipie  tantum  per  terrarum  orbem,  std  eiiam  in  acre, 
"in  luiia,  et  ad  tertium  u-que  coiluin."  Burnett.  Tell.  Theor.  1. 
2.  Cap.  7.  '•  Well  may  1  wonder  at  the  notions  of  some  learned 
"men  concerning  the  garden  of  liden ;  some  allirming  it  to  be 
"above  the  moon,  others  above  the  air;  some  that  it  is  in  the 
"whole  world,  others  only  a  part  of  the  north;  some  thinking 
"that  it  was  nowhere,  whilst  others  supposeil  it  to  be.  Cod 
"  knows  where,  in  the  West  Indies ;  and,  for  ought  1  know,  Sir 
"John  Mandeville's  story  of  it  may  be  as  good  as  any  of  them." 
Foulis'y  Llisiory  of  IMots,  fol.  p.  1/1.  "  Oirebius,.  in  a  tract  de 
"  Vita.  .Morte.et  liesuirectione.  would  persuade  us,  t)ialdoubll<!SS 
"the  Kosicrucians  are  in  paradise,  whi<'h  place  he  sealeth  near 
"unto  ihe  regiim  of  the  moon."  Glaus  Rudliecki us,  a  Swede, 
!n  a  very  scarce  book,  entitled  Atlanlica  sive  JUanhciin,  i  vo\. 
\0\.,  t-v.i  of  zeal  for  ihe  honor  of  his  country,  has  endeavored  to 
prove  that  Sweden  wiis  the  real  piiradist.    The  learned  Huet 


f.ANTo  I.]  IIUDIBRAS.  43 

And,  as  lie  was  dispos'd,  could  prove  it,  173 

IJelow  the  moon,  or  else  above  it : 

VVliat  Adam  dreamt  of  wiien  liis  bride 

Came  from  iier  closet  in  liis  side  : 

Wiietiior  tlie  devil  temptOvi  lier 

By  an  Higii-Dulcb  interpreter:*  180 

If  eitlier  of  them  had  a  navel  ;t 


bishop  of  Avraiiches,  wrote  an  express  treatise  De  Situ  I'aradisl 
I'crrestris,  but  not  piiblislicd  till  arter  our  poet's  death,  (IG91.) 
He  uives  a  map  of  Paradise,  and  says,  it  is  situated  u\nm  the 
canal  formed  by  the  Tigris  and  Euphrates,  after  tliey  have  joined 
near  Apamea,  between  the  place  where  they  join  and  that 
where  they  sep:irate,  in  order  to  fall  into  the  Periiian  gulf,  on  the 
eastern  side  of  the  south  branch  of  the  great  circuit  which  this 
river  makes  towards  the  west,  marked  in  the  maps  of  Ptolemy, 
near  Aracc;;,  about  32  decrees  3!)  minutes  north  lalilude,  and  80 
degrees  10  minutes  east  longitnile.  Thus  wild  and  various 
have  been  the  conjectures  concerning  the  seat  of  Paradise;  but 
we  must  leave  this  point  undetermined,  till  we  are  better  ac- 
quainted with  the  antediluvian  world,  and  know  what  altera- 
tions the  Hood  made  upon  the  face  of  the  earth. 

Mahomet  is  said  to  have  assured  his  followers,  tliat  paradise 
was  seated  in  lieaven,  and  that  Adam  was  cast  down  from 
ihence  when  he  transgressed:  on  the  contrary,  a  learned  prelate 
of  our  own  time,  supposes  that  our  first  parents  were  placed  in 
paradise  as  a  reward  :  for  he  says, 

"God  (as  we  must  needs  conclude)  having  tried  Adam  in  the 
"state  of  nature,  and  approved  of  the  good  use  he  had  made  of 
"  his  free  will  under  the  direction  of  that  light,  adviinced  liirn  to 
"a  superior  station  in  paradise.  How  long  before  this  remove, 
"man  had  continued  subject  to  natural  religion  alone,  we  can 
"only  guess,  lint  of  this  we  may  be  assured,  that  it  was  some 
"considerable  time  before  the  garden  of  Eden  could  naturally  be 
"  made  til  far  his  reception." — See  Warburlon's  Works  :  Divine 
Legation,  vol.  iii.  p.  TkM.  And  again:  "This  natural  state 
"of  man,  antecedent  to  the  paradisaical,  can  never  be  too  care- 
'  fully  kept  in  mind,  nor  too  precisely  e.\plained;  since  it  is  the 
'  very  key  or  clue  (as  we  shall  find  in  the  progress  of  this  work) 
'■  which  is  open  to  us,  to  lead  us  through  all  the  recesses  and 
"  intimacies  of  the  last  and  completed  dispensation  of  God  to 
"man;  a  dispensation  long  become  intricate  and  perplexed,  by 
"men's  neglecting  to  distinguish  these  two  states  or  conditions; 
"  which,  as  we  say,  if  not  constantly  kept  in  mind,  the  Gospel 
"can  neither  be  well  understood,  nor  reasonably  supported."—- 
Div.  Leg.  vol   iii.  p.  G-2li,  4lo. 

*  Johannes  Goropius  Hccanus,  a  man  very  learned,  and  phy 
sician  to  Mary  Queen  of  Hungary,  sister  to  the  Emperor  Charles 
v.,  maintained  the  Teul/mic  to  be  the  first,  and  most  ancient 
language  in  the  world.  Verstegan  thinks  the  Teutonic  not  older 
than  the  towt-r  of  Babel.     Decayed  Intelligence,  ch.  7. 

t  "Over  one  of  the  doors  of  the  King's  antechamber  at  St 
".James's,  is  a  picture  of  Adam  and  Eve,  which  formerly  hung 
"in  the  gallery  at  Whitehall,  thence  called  the  Adam  and  Eve 
"Gallery.  Evelyn,  in  the  preface  to  his  Idea  of  the  Perfection 
"of  Tainting,  mentions  this  picture,  painted  by  Malvagius,  as  he 
'  calls  him,  (,Iohn  Mabu-ie,  of  a  little  town  of  the  same  nanse  in 

Hiinault,)  and  objects  to  the  absu'dity  of  representing  Adam 


U  HUDIBRA&  I  Part 

Whc  first  made  music  malleable  * 

Whether  the  serpent,  at  the  fall, 

Had  rioven  feet,  or  none  at  all.t 

All  this  without  a  gloss,  or  comment,  I8i 

He  could  unriddle  in  a  moment, 

In  proper  terms,  such  as  men  sniattcr, 

When  they  throw  out  and  miss  the  matter. 

For  his  Religion,  it  was  fit 
'i'o  match  his  learning  and  liis  wU:  lilO 

'Twiis  Presbyterian,  true  blue,t 
For  he  was  of  that  stubborn  crew 
(Tferrant^  saints,  whom  all  men  grau.1 
To  be  the  true  cluircli  militant  :|1 
Such  as  do  build  their  faith  upon  l'J6 

The  holy  text  of  pike  and  gun  ;? 
Decide  all  controversy  by 
Infallible  artillery  ; 
And  prove  their  doctrine  orthodox 
By  apostolic  blows,  and  knocks;  fXf' 

Call  tire,  and  sword,  and  desolation, 
A.  godly-thorough-lieformation,** 


"and  Kve  with  navels,  and  a  fountain  of  carved  imagery  in 
"  Paradise.  The  latter  remark  is  jn.n  :  the  former  is  only  wor 
"thy  of  a  critical  man-midwife."  Walpole's  Anecdotes  ol 
Paintin;;.  Henry  VII.  vol.  i.  p.  .50.  Dr.  Hmwn  has  the  fifth 
chapter  of  the  tifih  hook  of  his  Vulvar  Errors,  expressly  on  this 
subject,  "  Of  the  Picture  of  Adam  and  Eve  with  Navels." 

*  This  relates  to  the  idea  that  music  was  first  invented  by  Py 
ihagoras,  on  hearing  a  blacksmith  strike  his  anvil  with  a  hanj- 
mer — a  story  which  has  been  frequently  ridiculed. 

T  That  curse  upon  the  serpent  "  on  thy  belly  shalt  thon  go," 
seems  to  imply  a  deprivation  of  what  he  enjoyed  before;  it  has 
been  thought  that  the  serpent  had  feet  at  first.  So  Basil  says, 
lie  went  erect  like  a  man,  and  had  the  use  of  speech  liefure  the 
fall. 

J  Alluding  to  the  proverb— "  true  blue  will  never  stain:" 
lepresenting  the  stubbornness  of  the  party,  which  luade  them 
deaf  to  reason,  and  incapable  of  conviction. 

$  The  poet  uses  the  word  errant  with  a  double  meaning; 
without  doubt  in  allusion  to  knights  errant  in  romances:  and 
likewise  to  the  bad  sense  in  which  the  word  is  used,  as,  an  errant 
knave,  an  errant  villain. 

II  The  church  on  earth  is  called  militant,  as  strnggling  with 
temptations,  and  subject  to  persecutions:  but  the  Presbyterians 
of  those  days  were  literally  the  church  militant,  fighting  with 
the  establishment,  and  all  tiial  opposed  them. 

IT  Cornet  Joyce,  when  he  carrieil  away  the  king  from  Holden- 
by,  being  desired  by  his  majesty  to  show  his  instructions,  drew 
up  his  troop  in  the  inward  court,  and  said,  "  These,  sir,  are  my 
Instructions." 

**  How  far  the  character  here  given  of  the  Presbyterians  is  a 
CUP  one,  I  leave  others  to  guess.  When  they  have  not  iiad  the 
apper  haad,  they  cert:iinly  have  been  friends  to  mildness  aud 


aos 


210 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  45 

Which  always  iini.>t  bo  cari;y'(J  on, 

And  still  be  doing,  never  done 

As  if  Religion  were  iiitondcd 

For  nothing  else  but  to  bo  mended. 

A  sect,  whose  chief  devotion  lies  ^ 

Til  odd  perverse  antipathies  :* 

In  falling  out  with  that  or  this, 

And  finding  somewhat  still  amiss  :t 

More  peevish,  cross,  and  splenetic, 

Than  dog  distract,  or  monkey  sick. 

That  with  more  care  keep  holy-day 

Th(j  wrong,  than  others  the  right  way  :> 

Compound  for  sins  they  are  inelin'd  to,  213 

By  damning  those  they  have  no  mind  to: 

Still  so  perverse  and  opposite. 

As  if  they  worshipp'd  God  for  spite. 

The  self-same  thing  they  will  abhor 

One  way,  and  long  another  for.  220 

Free-will  they  one  way  disavow, 

Another,  nothing  else  allow. § 

All  piety  consists  therein 

In_tli^em,  in  other  men  all  sin.|| 

Rather  than  fail,  they  will  defy  225 

Tliat  which  they  love  most  tenderly  ; 

Quarrel  with  minc'd  pies, IT  and  disparage 


niddcration  :  but  Dr.  Grey  produces  passages  from  some  of  their 
violent  ami  absurd  writers,  wbich  made  liim  thiiili  that  they 
had  a  strong  spirit  of  persecution  at  the  bottom. 

Some  of  our  brave  ancestors  said  of  the  Romans,  "  Ubi  soli- 
"tudineni  faciunt,  pacem  appellant."  Tacitus,  Vita  Agricol.  30. 

*  In  all  great  quiirrels,  the  parlies  are  apt  to  take  pleasure  in 
contradicting  each  other,  even  in  the  most  trifling  matters.  The 
Presbyterians  reckoned  it  sinful  to  eat  plum-porridge,  or  minced 
pies,  at  Christmas.  The  cavaliers  observing  the  formal  carriage 
01  their  adversaries,  fell  into  the  opposite  extreme,  and  ate  and 
drank  plentifully  every  day,  especially  alter  the  restoration. 

t  Uueen  Klizalieth  Vv'as  otten  heard  to  say,  that  she  knew 
very  well  what  wo.ild  content  the  Catholics,  but  that  she  never 
could  learn  what  woulil  content  the  Puritans. 

t  In  the  year  1C4.1,  Christmas  day  was  ordered  to  be  observed 
as  a  fast:  and  Oliver,  when  protector,  was  feasted  by  the  lord 
mayor  on  Ash-Wednesday.  When  James  the  First  desired  the 
magistrates  of  Edinburgh  to  feast  the  French  ambassad.irs  before 
their  return  to  France,  the  ministers  proclauncd  a  fast  to  be  kept 
the  same  day. 

$  As  maintaining  absolute  predestination,  and  denying  the 
liberty  of  man's  will :  at  the  same  time  contending  for  absolute 
'reedom  in  rites  and  ceremonies,  and  the  discipline  of  the  church. 

ji  They  themselves  being  the  elect,  and  so  incapable  of  sin- 
ning, and  all  others  being  reprobates,  and  therefore  not  capabi* 
of  performing  any  good  action. 

1.  "A  sort  ol  inquisition  was  set  up,  against  the  food  which 


tG  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part. 

Their  best  aiul  dearest  friend — piiiiii-iiorridge 

Fat  pior  and  goose,  itself  oppose, 

And  blaspheme  custard  through  the  nose.  23C 

Th'  apostles  of  this  fierce  religion, 

Like  Mahomet's,  were  ass  and  widgeon,* 

To  whom  our  kniglit,  by  fast  instinct 

Of  wit  and  temper,  was  so  liukt, 

As  if  hypocrisy  and  nonsense  _  23* 

Had  got  th'  advowson  of  his  conscience.^j 

Thus  was  he  gifted  and  accouter'd, 
We  mean  on  th'  inside,  not  the  outward: 
That  next  of  all  we  shall  discuss  ; 
Then  listen.  Sirs,  it  followcth  llius :  "240 

His  tawny  beard  was  th'  equal  grace 
Both  of  Ijis  wisdom  and  his  face  ; 
In  cut  and  dye  .so  like  a  tile, 
A  sudden  view  it  would  beguile  : 

The  upper  part  thereof  was  whey,  245 

The  nether  orange,  mixl  willi  grey. 
"^riiTs  hairy  mcledr  did  denounce 
The  fall  of  sceptres  and  of  crowns  ;t 

li:id  "  liren  customarily  in  use  at  this  season."     Black.all's  Ser 
Minn  on  Cliristmiis-day. 

*  Mahomet  tells  us,  In  the  Koran,  that  the  Angel  Gahriel 
brought  to  him  a  milk-white  beast,  called  Alborach,  something 
like  an  ass,  but  bisrucr,  to  carry  him  to  the  presence  of  God. 
Alboraeli  refused  to  let  him  get  up,  unless  he  would  promise  to 
procure  him  an  entrance  into  paradise :  which  Mahomet  pro- 
mising, he  got  up.  Mahomet  is  also  said  to  have  had  a  lame 
pigeon,  which  lie  tiu'jht  secretly  to  eat  out  of  his  ear,  to  make 
liis  followers  believe,  that  by  means  of  this  bird  there  were  im 
parted  to  him  some  rlivine  communications.  Our  poet  calls  it  a 
widgeon,  for  the  sake  of  equivoque  ;  widgeon  in  the  figurative 
sen.se,  signifying  a  foolish  silly  fellow.  It  is  usual  to  say  of 
such  a  person,  that  he  is  as  wise  as  a  widgeon  :  and  a  drinking 
song  has  these  lines. — 

Mahomet  was  no  divine,  hut  a  senseless  widgeon, 
To  forbid  the  use  of  wine  to  those  of  his  religion. 

Widgeon  and  weaver,  says  Mr.  Ray,  in  his  Philosophical  Let- 
ters, are  male  and  female  sex. 

-  Tlierc  are  still  a  multitude  of  doves  about  Mecca  preserved 
"and  fed  there  with  great  care  and  superstition,  being  thought 
"  to  be  of  the  breed  of  that  dove  which  spake  in  the  ear  iif  Ma 
"hornet."     Sandys'  Tr.ivels. 

t  Alluding  to  the  vulgir  opinion,  that  comets  are  alwayi 
rodictive  of  some  public  calamity. 

Et  nunquam  coelo  spectatuin  impune  cometen. 

Pliiiv  calls  a  comet  crinita. 

Mr.  Butler  in  his  Genuine  Remains,  -ol.  i.  p.  54.  says 

Which  way  the  dreadful  comet  went 
Id  sixty-four,  and  what  it  meant  1 


Ca.nto  i.j  IIUDlIiUAS  47 

With  grisly  type  did  represent 

Declining  age  of  government,  25t 

And  tell,  with  hieroglyphic  spade, 

Its  own  grave  and  the  state's  were  made. 

Like  Sampson's  iieart-breakers,  it  grew 

lirttiTieto  make  a  nation  rne  ;* 

Tlio'  it  contributed  its  own  fall,  253 

T^wait  upon  the  public  downfall:! 

If.  was  canonic,!  and  did  grow 

In  holy  orders  by  strict  vovv:§ 


■  What  Nations  yet  are  to  bewail 
The  operations  of  its  tail  : 
Or  whether  I'Vancc  or  Holland  yet, 
Or  Germany,  be  in  its  debt  7 
What  wars  and  plagues  in  Christendom 
Have  happen'd  since,  and  what  to  come  1 
What  l<iiif,'s  are  dead,  how  many  queens 
And  princesses  are  poison'd  since  7 
And  who  shall  next  of  all  by  turn. 
Make  courts  wear  black,  and  tradesmen  mourn  1 
And  when  again  shall  lay  embargo 
Upon  the  admiral,  the  good  ship  Argo. 

Homer,  as  translated  by  Pope,  Iliad  iv.  434,  says. 

While  dreailful  comets  glaring  from  afar, 
Forewarn'd  the  horrors  of  tlie  Thebaii  war. 

*  Heart-breakers  were  particular  curls  worn  by  the  ladies,  niiu 
sometimes  by  men.  Sampson's  strength  consisted  in  his  hif.i: 
ft-hen  that  was  cut  oti;  he  was  taken  prisoner;  when  it  grew 
ngain,  he  was  able  to  pull  down  the  house,  and  destroy  liis  ene 
niics.    See  Judges,  cap.  xvi. 

t  Many  of  the  Presbyterians  and  Independents  swore  not  to 
cut  their  beards,  not,  like  Mepliibosheth,  till  the  king  was  re- 
stored, but  till  monarchy  and  episcopacy  were  ruined.  Such 
vows  were  common  among  the  barbarous  nations,  especially  the 
fJermans.  Civilis,  as  we  learn  from  Tacitns,  having  destroyed 
the  Roman  legions,  cut  his  hair,  which  he  had  vowed'to  In  grow 
from  his  first  taking  up  arms.  And  it  became  at  lengUi  a  na- 
tional custom  among  some  of  the  Germans,  never  to  timi  their 
hair,  or  their  beards,  till  they  had  killed  an  enemy. 

t  The  latter  editions,  for  canonic,  read  monastic. 

$  This  line  would  make  one  think,  that  in  the  preceding  one 
we  ought  to  read  monastic;  though  the  vow  of  not  sh iving  the 
beard  till  some  particul.ir  event  happened,  was  not  uncommou 
In  those  times.  In  a  humorous  poem,  falsely  ascribed  to  Mr. 
Butler,  entitled,  The  Cobler  and  Vicar  of  Bray,  we  read. 

This  worthy  knight  was  one  that  swore 

He  would  not  cut  liis  beard, 
Till  this  ungodly  nation  was 

From  kings  and  bishops  clear'd. 

Which  holy  vow  he  firmly  kept, 

And  most  devoutly  wore 
A  pri>;ly  meteor  on  his  face. 

Till  they  were  both  no  more 


ly  IIUDIDKAS  iI'art  . 

Of  rule  as  sullen  and  severe 

As  tiiat  of  rijjid  Cordeiiere  :*  201 

'Twas  bound  to  suffer  persecution 

And  niarlyrdoni  with  resolution  ; 

T'  oppose  itself  atjainst  the  hate 

And  vengeance  of  111'  incensed  state : 

In  whose  defiance  it  was  worn,  261 

Still  ready  to  be  pnll'd  and  torn, 

With  red-hot  irons  to  be  tortur'd, 

Revil'd,  and  spit  noon,  and  niartyr'd : 

Manure  all  wliich,  'twas  to  stand  fast. 

As  long  as  monarchy  should  last ;  'ITO 

But  when  the  state  sJiould  hap  to  reel, 

'Twas  to  submit  to  fatal  steel. 

And  fall,  as  it  was  consecrate, 

A  sacrifice  to  fall  of  state  ; 

Whose  thread  of  life  the  fatal  sisters  273 

Did  twist  together  with  its  whiskere,     « 

And  twine  so  close,  that  Time  should  never, 

In  life  or  death,  their  fortunes  sever  ; 

But  with  his  rusty  sickle  mow 

Both  down  together  at  a  blow.  2hi\ 

So  learned  Taliacotins,  from 

The  brawny  part  of  porter's  bum. 

Cut  supplemental  noses,  which 

Would  last  as  long  as  parent  breech  :t 


*  An  order  so  called  in  France,  from  the  knotted  cord  which 
they  wore  iihout  their  nnddles.  In  Enghind  they  were  named 
Grey  Friars,  and  wore  the  strictest  branch  of  the  Franciscans. 

t  Taliacotins  was  professor  of  physic  and  surjiery  at  Rulogna, 
where  he  was  horn.  Id'>3.  His  treatise  is  well  known.  He  siiys, 
the  operation  has  lieen  practised  hy  others  before  him  with  suc- 
cess. See  a  very  htunorons  account  of  him,  Tatlcr,  No.  200. 
The  desijin  of  Taliacotins  has  been  improved  into  a  method  of 
holding  correspondence  at  a  great  distance,  by  the  sympithy  ot 
tlesh  transferred  from  one  body  to  another.  If  two  per^ons  ex- 
change a  piece  of  flesh  from  the  biccpital  muscle  of  the  arm, 
and  circumscribe  it  with  an  alphabet;  when  the  one  pricks  him- 
self in  A,  the  othei  is  to  have  a  sensation  thereof  in  the  same 
part,  and  by  inspecting  his  arm,  perceive  what  letter  the  other 
points  to. 

Our  author  likewise  intended  to  ridicula  Sir  Kenelm  Pighy, 
who,  in  his  Treatise  on  the  sympathetic  powder,  mentions,  bni 
with  caution,  this  methoit  of  engrafting  noses.  It  has  been  ab- 
served,  that  the  ingenuity  of  the  ancients  seems  to  have  failed 
them  im  a  similar  occasion,  since  they  were  obliged  to  piece  ou! 
the  inuti.atcd  shoulder  of  Pelops  with  ivory. 

In  latter  days  it  has  been  a  common  pr.iclice  with  dentisis,  ti 
draw  the  teeth  of  young  chimney-sweepers,  and  li.t  Ihcni  in  the 
heads  of  other  persons.  There  was  a  lady  whose  mouth  wa.i 
supplied  in  '.his  manner.    After  some  time  the  boy  claimed  th« 


Canto  I.]  IIUDIBRAS  49 

But  wlieti  the  iate  of  Nock  was  out,*  285 

Off  dropf  the  sympathetic  snout. 

His  back,  or  rather  burthen,  show'd 
As  if  it  stoop'd  with  its  own  load. 
For  as  jEneas  boro  his  sire 

Upon  liis  slioulders  thro'  the  fire,  29fl 

Our  knijrht  did  bear  no  less  a  pack 
Of  his  own  buttocks  on  his  back: 
Which  now  had  almost  got  the  upper- 
Hiind  of  his  Jicad,  for  want  of  crupper. 
To  poise  this  equally,  he  bore  yo.'i 

A" paunch  of  the  same  bulk  before: 
Wliich  still  he  had  a  special  care 
To  keep  well-cramni'd  with  thrifty  fare: 
As  wiiite-pot,  butter-milk,  and  curds, 
Such  as  a  country-house  affords  ;  3(Kj 

With  other  victual,  which  anon 
We  farther  shall  dilate  upon, 
When  of  his  hose  we  come  to  treat, 
The  cup-board  where  he  kept  his  meat.  ^ 

His  doublet  was  of  sturdy  buff,  "  305 

And  though  not  sword,  yet  cudgel-proof. 
Whereby  'twas  filter  for  Iiis  use, 
Who  fear'd  no  blows  but  such  as  bruise. t 

His  breeches  were  of  rugged  woollen. 
And  had  been  at  the  siege  of  Bullen  ;t  310 


tooth,  and  went  to  a  justice  of  peace  for  a  warrant  against  the 
hidy,  who,  he  alleged,  had  stolen  it.  The  case  would  have 
puzzled  Sir  Fludihras. 

Dr.  Hunter  mentions  some  ill  elTects  of  the  practice.  A  per- 
son who  gains  a  tooth,  may  soon  after  want  a  nose.  The  simile 
has  been  translated  into  Latin  thus : 

Sic  adscititios  nasos  de  clune  torosi 
Vcctoris  docta  secuit  Taliacotins  arte: 
Qui  potuere  parem  durando  o^quare  parentem  ; 
At  postiinimi  lato  cliinis  compntruit,  ipsum 
Una  syn)phaticuni  coepit  tabescere  rostrum 

*  Nock  is  a  British  word,  signifying  a  slit  or  crack.  .And 
hence  figuratively,  nates,  la  (esse,  the  fundament.  Nock, 
Nockys,  is  used  by  Gawin  Douglas  in  his  version  of  the  .f.neid, 
for  lh(^  botloiii.  or  extremity  of  any  thing;  Glossarists  say,  the 
word  hatli  that  sense  both  in  Italian  and  Dutch:  others  think  it 
a  liritish  word. 

t  A  man  of  nice  honor  suffers  more  from  a  kick,  or  slap  in 
the  face,  than  from  a  wound.  Pir  Walter  Raleigh  says,  to  be 
strackcn  with  a  sword  is  like  a  man,  but  to  be  strucken  with  a 
Btick  is  like  a  slave. 

t  Henry  VIII.  besieged  Boulocne  in  person,  July  14, l.')44.  He 
was  very  fat,  and  consequently  his  breeches  very  larsic.  See 
the  paintinys  atCowdryin  f?Uise.\.and  the  engravings  jmblisheil 


oO  ilUDIBRAS.  d'ARri 

To  old  King  Harry  so  well  known, 

Some  writers  iield  they  were  his  own, 

Thro'  they  were  lin'd  with  many  a  piece 

Of  ammuiiilioa-bread  and  cheese, 

And  fat  black-puddings,  proper  food  SIS 

For  waruors  that  delight  in  blood: 

For,  as  we  said,  he  always  chose 

To  carry  vittle  in  liis  hose, 

That  often  tempted  rats  and  mice. 

The  ammunition  to  surprise  :  JSf 

And  wlien  he  put  a  hand  but  in 

The  one  or  tii'  other  magazine, 

They  stoutly  in  defence  on't  stood, 

And  from  the  wounded  foe  drew  blood ; 

And  till  th'  were  storm'd  and  beaten  oul  Sas 

Ne'er  left  the  forlifi'd  redoubt ;      i 

And  tho'  knights  errant,  as  some  think. 

Of  old  did  neither  eat  nor  djink,* 

Because  when  thorougii  dcsarts  vast, 

And  regions  desolate  they  past,  330 

Where  belly-timber  above  ground. 

Or  under,  was  not  to  be  found, 

Unless  they  graz'd,  there's  not  one  word 

Of  their  provision  on  record  : 

Wliich  made  some  confidently  write,  335 

They  had  no  stomachs  but  to  fight. 

'Tis  false:  for  Arthur  wore  in  hallt 

Round  table  like  a  farthiugal,t 


ny  the  Society  of  Antiquaries.  Their  breeches  and  hose  were 
ihe  same,  I'ort-hose,  Trunk-hose,  Pantaloons,  were  ail  like  our 
sailors'  trowsers.  See  Pedules  in  C'owel,  and  the  74th  canon  ad 
finein. 

*  "Though  I  think,  says  Don  Quixole,  that  I  have  rend  as 
"many  histories  of  chivalry  in  my  lime  as  any  other  man,  I 
"never  could  find  that  knights  errant  ever  eat.  unless  it  weie 
"by  mere  accident,  when  they  were  invited  to  great  feasts  and 
"royal  banquets  ;  at  other  times,  they  indulged  themselves  with 
"  little  other  food  besides  their  tbougliti." 

t  Arthur  is  said  to  have  lived  about  the  year  530,  and  to  have 
been  born  in  £01,  but  so  many  romantic  exploits  are  attributed  to 
him,  that  some  have  doubted  whether  there  was  any  truth  at  all 
in  liis  historv. 

GeotFrey  o'f  Monmouth  calls  him  the  son  of  Ulher  Pendrason, 
others  think  he  was  himself  called  UtherPen.lragon:  Uther  sig- 
nifying in  the  British  toncue  a  club,  because  as  with  a  club  be 
\»eat  down  the  Saxons :  Pendragon,  because  he  wore  a  dragon  on 
the  crest  of  his  lieluict. 

t  The  farthingal  was  a  sort  of  hoop  worn  by  the  ladies.  King 
Arthur  is  said  to  have  made  choice  of  the  round  table  tliat  hi» 
Knights  might  not  quarrel  about  precedence. 


l'anto  1.] 


ilUDIBRAS. 


9l 


^ 


On  which,  with  shirt  puli'd  out  behind, 

And  eko  bcforo,  his  good  knigiits  din'd.  340 

Tlio'  'twas  no  tabic  some  sujjpose. 

But  a  iiiige  pair  of  round  trunk  hose  : 

In  whicli  he  carry 'd  as  niucli  meat, 

As  ho  and  all  iiis  knights  could  eat,* 

When  laying  by  their  swords  and  truncheons,        315 

They  took  their  breakfasts,  or  their  unnchcons.t 

But  let  that  pass  at  present,  lest 

W"c  should  forget  wliere  we  digrest , 

As  learned  autiiors  use,  to  whom 

WA-leavo  it,  and  to  th'  purpose  come. 

His  puissant  sword  unto  his  side, 
Near  his  undaunted  lieart,  was  ty'd. 
With  basket-liilt,  tliat  would  hold  broth 
And  serve  for  fight  and  dinner  both. 
In  it  he  melted  lead  for  bullets, 
To  shoot  at  foes,  and  sometimes  ;»ullets 
To  whom  ho  bore  so  fell  a  grutch. 
Ho  ne'er  gave  quarter  t'  any  sucli. 
The  trencliant  blade,  Toledo  trusty, t 
For  want  of  fighting  was  grown  rusty, 
And  ate  into  itself,  for  lack         ^ 
Of  somebody  to  hew  and  hack.    ^^'' 
The  peaceful  scabbard  where  it  dwelt, 
Tlie  rancour  of  its  edge  had  felt : 
For  of  the  lower  end  two  handful 
It  had  dcvour'd,  'twas  so  manful. 
And  so  much  scorn'd  to  lurk  in  case. 
As  if  it  durst  not  shew  its  face. 


355 


3G0 


^C^» 


(j 


*Triie-wit,  in  I5cn  .Innscn's  Silent  Woman,  says  of  Sir  Amor- 
ous La  Fool,  "  If  he  could  Imt  vicUwl  himself  for  half  a  year  in 
'•  his  breeches,  lie  is  suflicicnlly  armed  to  over-run  a  country." 
Act  4,  sc.  5.  '"» — 

t  J\riinckcons. — Meals  now  made  by  the  servants  of  most  fam- 
ilies about  noon-tiile,  or  twelve  o'clock.  Our  ancestors  in  the 
I'Jth  and  Hlh  centuries  had  four  meals  a  day, — breakfast  at  7; 
dinner  at  U) ;  supper  at  4  ;  and  livery  at  8  or  SI ;  soon  after  which 
Ihcy  went  to-bed.  See  the  Karl  of  Korthiunbcrland's  household- 
book. 

The  tradesmen  and  laboring  people  had  only  3  meals  a  day, 
—breakfast  at  8  ;  dinner  at  12  ;  and  supper  at  G.  They  had  no 
livery. 

t  Toledo  is  a  city  in  Spain,  the  capital  of  New  Castile,  famous 
for  the  manufacture  of  swords:  the  Toledo  blades  were  peneral- 
ly  broad,  to  wear  on  horseback,  and  of  great  Icniith,  suitable  to 
the  old  Spanish  dress.  See  Dillon's  Voyage  tlirnuch  Spain,  4to 
78-2.  But  those  which  I  have  seen  were  narrow,  like  a  stiletto 
Owt  much  longer:  though  probably  onr  hero's  was  broad,  as  is 
tnplied  liy  the  epithet  trenchant,  cutting. 


f,o  IIUDIBllAS  [I'AiiT  . 

in  many  desjierate  attempts, 

01"  warrants,  exigents,*  contempts,  S7C 

It  had  appcar'd  with  courage  bolder 

Thau  Serjeant  Bum  invading  shoulder  :t 

Oft  liad  it  ta'cu  i)ossessiou, 

And  pris'ners  too,  or  made  tlicm  rua. 

This  sword  a  dagger  had,  liis  page,  375 

That  was  but  httle  for  liis  age  :  t 
And  therefore  waited  on  liim  so, 
Ss  dwarfs  upon  kniglits  errant  do. 
it  was  a  serviceable  dudgeon, § 

Either  for  figliling  or  for  drudging :||  3tu 

When  it  had  stabb'd,  or  broke  a  head. 
It  would  scrape  trenchers,  or  chip  bread, 
Toast  cheese  or  bacon, IT  though  it  were 
To  bait  a  mouse-trap,  'twould  not  care  : 
'Twould  make  clean  shoes,  and  in  the  earth  385 

Set  leeks  and  on'ons,  and  so  forth  : 
It  had  been  'prentice  to  a  brewer,** 


*  Exigent  is  a  writ  issued  in  order  to  l)ring  a  person  to  an  out 
lawry,  if  he  does  not  appear  tu  answer  the  suit  commenced 
against  hini. 

t  Alluding  to  the  method  by  which  bum-bailifTs,  as  they  are 
called,  arrest  persons,  giving  ihem  a  iMpon  tlie  shoulder. 

i'l'hus  Homer  accoutres  Agamemnon  witli  a  dagger  hangmg 
near  his  sword,  which  he  used  instead  of  a  knife.  Iliad.  Lib.  m. 
271.  A  gentleman  pniducing  some  wine  li>  his  guests  in  small 
glasses,  and  saying  it  was  sixteen  years  old  ;  a  person  replied  it 
was  very  small  for  its  age — iriidiToi  ii  rtioi  utvov  if4-VKrnpiciif 
utKobv,  Kai  ehdvTog  on  iKKatbtKaCTt);'  fitKpdg  yc,  iipt),  Jis 
TuavTuv  cTuv.  Alhena-us  Ed.  Casaubon.  pp.  J84  and  atio.  lib 
xiii.  2H1). 

§  A  dudgeon  was  a  short  sword,  or  dagger:  from  tlie  Teutonic 
degen,  a  sword. 

II  That  is  for  doing  any  drudgery-work,  such  as  follows  in  tbu 
next  verses. 

II  Corporal  Nim  says,  in  Phakspeare's  Henry  v.,  "I  dare  not 
"fight,  but  I  will  wink,  and  hold  out  mine  iron:  it  is  a  simple 
"one,  but  what  though— it  will  toast  cheese." 

**This  was  a  common  joke  upon  Oliver  Cromwell,  who  was 
laid  to  have  been  a  partner  in  a  brewery.  It  was  frequently 
made  the  subject  of  lampoon  during  his  life-time.  In  the  collec- 
tion of  loyal  songs,  is  one  called  the  Protecting  Brewer,  which 
jai  these  stanzas — 

A  brewer  may  l)e  as  liold  as  a  hector, 
When  as  he  had  drunk  his  cup  of  nectar, 
And  a  brewer  may  be  a  !,ord  I'rotector, 
Which  nobody  can  deny. 

Now  here  remains  the  strangest  thing, 
How  this  brewer  about  his  liquor  did  bring 
To  be  an  empi-ror  or  a  king. 

Which  nobody  tan  iliny 


Canto  J.J  JlULMliRAS.  6J 

Where  ihis,  and  more,  it  did  endure  ; 

But  left  tiie  tiiide,  as  many  more 

Have  lately  done,  on  the  same  scoie.  ;i!lU 

In  tir  holsters,  at  the  saddle-bow. 
Two  aged  pistols  he  did  stow, 
ATnon<r  the  smpUis  ol' such  nieat 
its^m^his  hose  he  could  not  get. 

iTTese  would  inveigle  rats  with  th'  scent,  '305 

To  forage  when  the  cocks  were  bent  ; 
i\nd  sometimes  catch  'em  with  a  snap, 
As  cleverly  as  th'  ablest  trap^* 
They  were  upon  hard  duty  still, 
And  every  night  stood  sentinel,  400 

To  guard  the  magazine  in  th'  hose, 
From  tvvo-legg'd  and  from  four-legg'd  foes. 

Thus  clad  and  fortify'd.  Sir  Knight, 
From  peaceful  home  set  forth  to  fight. 
But  first  with  nimble  active  force,  405 

He  got  on  th'  outside  of  his  horse  ;t» 
For  having  but  one  stirrup  ly'd 
T'  his  saddle,  on  the  further  side, 
Jt  was  so  short  h'  had  much  ado 

To  reach  it  with  his  desp'rate  toe.  410 

Hut  after  many  strains  and  heaves, 
lie  got  upon  the  saddle  eaves, 
I'roin  vvhence  he  vaulted  into  th'  seat, 
\yith  so  much  vigour,  strength,  and  heat. 
That  he  had  almost  tumbled  over  115 

Wjtn  liis  own  weight,  but  did  recover, 
IJy  laying  hold  on  tail  and  mane. 
Which  oft  he  us'd  instead  of  rein. 

JSut  now  we  talk  of  mounting  steed. 
Before  we  further  do  proceed,  420 

But  whether  Oliver  vv.is  really  concerned  in  a  brewery,  at  anv 
(lerind  of  his  life,  it  is  ditficiilt  to  iletennine.  Fleath.  one  of  his 
prolesscd  enemies,  assures  us,  in  his  I'lagelluiu,  that  tliere  was 
no  foundation  for  the  report. 

Colonel  I'ride  had  lieen  a  lirewer:  Colonel  Ilcwson  was  first  a 
shoemaker,  then  a  brewer's  clerk  :  and  Scott  had  been  clerk  to  a 
brewer. 

*  This  and  the  preceding  couplet  were  in  the  first  editions, 
but  afterwards  left  out  in  tlie  author's  copy. 

t  Nothing  can  be  more  completely  droll  than  Ihis  description 
of  lludibras  niountins;  his  liorse.  He  had  one  stirrup  tied  on  the 
ulJ-side  very  short,  the  saddle  very  large  ;  the  knight  short,  fat, 
and  deformed,  liaving  his  breeches  and  pockets  stutied  witlj 
black  puddings  and  other  provision,  overacting  his  eUort  tu 
mount,  and  nearly  tumbling  over  on  the  opposite  siile  ;  his  sin 
cle  spur,  w«  may  suppose,  catching  in  some  of  his  horse's  fnrnl 
lure. 


54  HUDIBRAS.  i?AKt  , 

It  doth  behove  us  to  say  something 

Of  that  wliich  bore  our  valiant  buinkin.* 

'JJie  beast  wus  sturdy-,  large,  and  tall, 

With  mouth  of  meal,  and  e_\es  of  wall ; 

I  would  say  eye,  for  h'  had  but  one,  <95 

As  most  agree,  thougli  some  say  uoue. 

He  was  well  stay'd,  and  in  his  gait, 

Preserv'd  a  grave,  majestic  state. 

At  spur  or  switch  no  more  he  skipt, 

Oi"  mended  pace,  tnan  Spaniard  whipt:t  430 

And  yet  so  liery,  lie  would  bound. 

As  if  he  griev'd  to  touch  the  ground : 

That  Cassar's  horse,  who,  as  fame  goes. 

Had  corns  upon  his  feet  and  toes,t 

Was  uot  by  half  so  tender-hooft,  133 

Nor  trod  upon  tiie  ground  so  soft : 

And  as  tliat  beast  would  kneel  and  stoop, 

Some  write,  to  take  his  rider  up,§ 

*  A  silly  country  fellow,  or  awkward  stick  of  wood,  from  the 
Relgbooni,  arbor,  and  ken,  or  kin,  a  diminutive. 

t  Tliis  alludes  to  the  story  of  a  Spaniard,  who  was  condemned 
to  run  the  gantlet,  and  disdained  to  avoid  any  part  of  the  punish- 
ment by  mending  his  pace. 

X  Suetonius  relates,  that  the  hoofs  of  Ca;sar's  horse  were  di- 
vided like  toes.  And  again,  Lycoslhenes,  de  prodigiis  et  por- 
tentis,  p.  214,  has  the  following  passage:  ".lulius  Ctesar  cum 
"Liusitania;  pra'csset— equus  insignis,  fissis  unguibus  anteriorum 
"pedum, et  propeiiioduiii  digiloruiii  hunianoruni  natusest;  fero.'c 
''adnioduni,  atque  elatus:  queni  natuiii  apud  se,  cum  auruspices 
"  imperiuiii  orbis  terne  signilicare  domino  pronunliassent,  magna 
'•cura  aluit;  nee  patientem  sessoris  nlteriu--,  primus  asc.endit 
"cuJHS  etiam  signum  pro  iEde  Veneris  genelricis  postea  dedica- 
"vit." — The  statue  of  Julius  Ca;sar's  horse,  which  was  placed 
before  the  temple  of  Venus  Genelrix,  had  the  hoofs  of  the  fore 
feel  parted  Uke  the  toes  of  a  man.  Montfaucon's  Antiq.  v.  ii.  p.  58 

In  Havercamp's  Medals  of  Christina,  on  the  reverse  of  a  coin 
of  Gordianus  I'ius,  pi.  34,  is  represented  an  horse  with  two  hu- 
man fore  feet,  or  rather  one  a  foot,  the  other  a  hand.  Arion  is 
said,  by  the  scholiast,  on  Statins  Theb.  vi.  vor.  3t)l,  to  have  had 
the  feet  of  a  man — humano  vesligio  dextri  i)pdis 

%  Stirrups  were  not  in  use  in  the  time  of  Ciesar.  Common 
persons,  who  were  active  and  hardy,  vaulted  into  their  seats; 
and  persons  of  distinction  had  their  horses  taught  to  bond  down 
toward  the  ground,  or  else  they  were  assisted  by  their  stralors 
or  equerries.  Q..  Curtius  mentions  a  reu)arkable  instance  of  do- 
cility of  the  elephants  in  the  army  of  king  Poms:  "  Indus  more 
"solito  elephanluin  procumbere  jussit  in  genua;  qui  ut  se  sub 
"  missit,  ccteri  quoque,  ita  cnini  insiituti  crant.  demisere  corpora 
"  in  terram."  1  know  no  writer  who  relates  that  CiEsar's  horse 
would  kneel;  and  perhaps  Mr.  Butler's  memory  deceived  him. 
Of  Bucephalus,  the  favored  steed  of  Alexander,  it  is  said — "ille 
"nee  in  dorso  insidere  suo  patiebatur  alium ;  et  regem,  quum 
"Tellet  ascenilere  sponte  sua  genua  submittcns,  exclpiebat;  cre- 
"^batarque  sentire  quem  veheret."    See  also  Uiodor.  Sicul.  et 


r/Mo  i.J  IILDIBRAS.  55 

So  Hudibras  his,  'tis  well  known, 
Would  often  do,  to  set  liini  down.  44U 

We  shall  not  need  to  say  what  lack 
01"  leather  was  upon  his  back : 
For  that  was  liidden  under  pad, 
And  breecli  of  Knight  galTd  full  as  bad. 
'"His  strutting  ribs  on  botli  sides  sliow'd  Hi 

Like  furrows  he  liimself  had  plow'd : 
For  underneath  tiie  skirt  of  pannel, 
'Twixt  every  two  tiierc  was  a  channel. 
His  draggling  tail  hung  in  the  dirt, 
Which  on  his  rider  he  would  flirt ;  fM) 

Still  as  his  tender  side  he  i)rickt, 
With  arni'd  heel,  or  with  uuurm'd,  kickt ; 
'T^or  Hudibras  wore  but  one  spur. 
As  wisely  knowing,  could  he  stir 
To  active  trot  one  side  of 's  horse,  455 

The  other  would  not  hang  an  arse. 

A  Squire  he  had,  whose  name  was  Ralph,* 

iMutarch.  de  solert.  aniiiiiil.     Mr.  Butler,  in  his  MS.  Comnion- 
pluce  J3i)ok,  applies  llie  siulillc  to  tlie  light  liorsu ;  for  he  says, 
Lil<e  Bucephalus's  liiulish  honor, 
\Voul(l  liuve  none  nionnt  but  the  right  owner. 

Iludiliras's  horse  is  de-^criljed  very  much  in  tlie  same  manner 
with  tliatof  I3(ni  Quixote's  lean,  still",  jaded,  foundered,  with  a 
sharp  ridge  of  bones.  Rozinante,  however,  could  boast  of  "  mas 
'•quartos  que  un  real" — ;in  c(iuivoqHe  entirely  lost  in  most 
translations.  (lu:irto  signifies  a  crack,  or  chop,  in  a  horse's  hoof 
or  heel :  it  also  signilies  a  small  piece  of  money,  several  of  which 
go  to  make  a  real,  \ 

*  As  the  knight  was  of  the  Presbyterian  pr^rty,  so  the  squir^      , 
was  an  Anabaptist  or  Independent.     This  gives  our  author  an■^^J■^l._ 
opportunity  of  characterizing  both  these  sects,  and  of  shewing  | 
their  joint  concurrence  against  the  king  and  church. 

The  Presbyterians  and  Independents  had  each  a  separate  form 
of  church  discipline.  The  Presbyterian  system  appointed,  for 
every  parish,  a  minister,  one  or  more  deacons,  and  two  ruling 
efdeis,  who  were  laymen  chosen  by  the  parishioners.  Each 
parish  was  subject  to  a  classis,  or  union  of  several  parishes.  A 
deputation  of  two  ministers  and  four  ruling  elders,  from  every 
classis  in  the  county,  constituted  a  provincial  synod.  And  su- 
perior to  the  provincial  was  the  national  synod,  consisting, 
of  deputies  from  the  former,  in  the  proportion  of  two  ruling 
elders  to  one  minister.  Appcnls  were  allowed  throughout  these 
several  jurisdictions,  and  ultimately  to  the  parliament.  On  the 
attachment  of  the  Presbyterians  to  their  lay  elders.  Mr.  Scldon 
observes  in  his  Table-talk,  p.  118,  that  "there  must  be  some  lay- 
'men  in  the  synod  to  overlook  the  clergy,  lest  they  spoil  the 

civil  work:  ju-^t  as  when  the  good  woman  puts  a  cat  into  the 
*inilk-liou-e,  she  sends  her  maid  to  look  after  the  cat,  lest  the 
*c;it  should  eat  up  the  cream." 

The  Inilepnndents  maintained,  that  every  congregation  was  a 
complete  church  within  itself,  and  had  no  dependence  on  das- 


5(3  HUDIBRAS.  [Paiit  j 

That  in  th'  adventure  went  liis  half 

Though  writers,  for  more  stately  toue, 

Do  call  him  Ralpho,  'tis  all  cue:  4(>C 

And  when  we  can,  with  metre  safe. 

We'll  call  him  so,  if  not,  plain  Raph  ;* 

For  riiyme  tne  rudder  is  of  vei-ses, 

With  which,  like  ships,  they  steer  their  couiwa 

An  equal  stock  of  wit  and  valor  4C5 

He  had  lain  in,  hy  birth  a  tailor.    ^ 

The  mighty  Tyriau  queen  that  gain'd, 

"With  subtle  shreds,  a  tract  of  land,1 

Did  leave  it,  with  a  castle  fair, 

To  his  great  ancestor,  her  heir ;  470 

From  him  descended  cross-leggd  kuighls,t 

Fam'd  for  their  faith  and  warlike  fights 

Against  tiie  bloody  Cannibal, § 

Bical,  provincial,  or  national  synods  or  assemblies.  Tliey  chose 
their  own  ministers,  and  required  no  ordination  or  laying  on  of 
hands,  as  the  I'resl)yterians  did.  Tliey  admitted  any  gifted  bro 
ther,  thai  is,  any  enthusiast  who  thought  he  could  preach  oi 
pray,  into  their  asseinblios.  They  entered  into  covenant  with 
their  minister,  and  he  with  them.  Soon  after  the  Revolution 
the  Presliyterians  and  Independents  coalesced,  the  former  yield- 
ing in  some  respects  to  the  latter. 

*  Paulino  Ausonius,  metrum  sic  suasit,  ut  esses 

Tu  prior,  et  nomen  pra^grederere  meum. 

Sir  Roger  I/E<trange  supposes,  that  in  his  description  of  Ral 
pho,  our  author  had  in  view  one  Isaac  Robins»n,  a  butcher  in 
Moorlields:  others  think  that  the  character  was  designed  for 
Premble,  a  tailor,  and  one  of  the  committee  of  sequestrators. 
Dr.  (Jrey  supposes,  that  the  name  of  Ralph  was  taken  from  tlio 
grocer's  apprentice,  in  Beaumont  and  Fletcher's  play,  called  the 
Knight  of  the  Ikirning  Pestle.  Mr.  Pemberton,  who  was  a  rela- 
tion and  godson  of  Mr.  Butler,  said,  that  the  'squire  was  designed 
for  Ralph  Bedford,  esquire,  member  of  parliament  for  the  town 
of  Bedtord. 

t  The  allusion  is  to  the  well-known  story  of  Dido,  who  pur- 
chased as  much  land  as  she  could  surround  with  an  ox's  hide. 
She  cut  the  hide  into  small  strips,  and  obtained  twenty-two  fur- 
longs. 

Mercatique  solum,  fiicti  de  nomine  Byrsam, 
Taurino  quantum  possent  circumd.ire  tergo. 

Virg.  .^neid,  lib.  i.  307. 

t  Tailors,  who  usually  sit  at  their  work  in  this  posture;  and 
knights  of  the  Holy  Voyage,  persons  who  had  made  a  vow  to  go 
to  the  Holy  Land,  after  death  were  represented  on  their  iiionu- 
luents  with  their  legs  across.  "Sumptuosissima  per  orbetn 
"christianutn  erecta  ciEnobia;  in  quibus  hodie  quoque  videre 
'  licet  militum  illorum  imagines,  monumenta,  tibiis  in  cruccm 
"  transversis  :  sic  enim  sepuiti  tuernnt  quolquot  illo  seculo  noin- 
"!na  bello  sacro  dedissent.  vel  qui  tunc  temporis  crucem  susce- 
'  pissent."     Chronic.  Kcclesiast.  lib.  ii.  p.  I'i. 

4  Tailors,  as  well  as  knights  of  the  Holy  Voyage,  are  faiiieO 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  57 

Whom  tliey  destroy'd  botli  great  and  timtll. 

Tliis  sturdy  Sijuiro  liad,  as  well  47j 

As  the  bold  Trojan  kniirlit,  seen  hell,* 

Not  with  a  coimlerfeitod  jiass 

Of  golden  bough, t  but  true  gold  lace. 

Ills  knowledge  was  not  far  behind 

TrTo  knight's,  but  of  another  kind,  lg| 

4-iid  lie  anotlicr  way  came  by't ;  ■^- 

Sonic  ca[l  it  gifts,  and  some  new  light 

A  lib'ral  art  that  costs  no  pains    '     ~~ 

Of  study,  industry,  or  brains. 

His  wits  were  sent  him  for  a  token,  «fc3 

But  in  the  carriage  crack'd  and  broken.? 

Like  commendation  nincpence  crookt, 

With — to  and  from  my  love — it  lookt.§ 

for  tlieir  Hiith,  the  foiiiicr  frequently  trusting  much  in  the  way 
of  tlieir  trule.  'I'he  words,  bloody  Ciinnibal,  are  not  altHgethei 
applied  to  the  Saracens,  who,  on  many  occasions,  hehtijfe'i?  with 
great  generosity  ;  but  they  denote  a  more  insigniticaii*creature, 
to  whom  the  tailor  is  said  to  be  an  avowed  enemy. 

*  In  allusion  to  ^^neas's  descent  iiilo  hell,  and  the  tailor's  re- 
pairing to  the  place  under  the  board  on  which  he  sat  to  work, 
called  hell  likewise,  being  a  receptacle  for  all  the  stolen  scraps 
of  cloth,  lace,  &c. 

\  Mr.  Rluntague  Bacon  says,  it  should  seem,  by  the«e  lines, 
that  the  poet  thought  Virgil  meant  a  coxuiterfeited  bough;  Dr. 
riot,  in  his  History  ot"  Statlbrdshire,  says,  that  gold  in  the  mines 
often  grows  in  the  shape  of  boughs,  and  branches,  and  leaves; 
therefore  Virgil,  who  understood  nature  well,  though  he  gave  il 
a  poetical  turn,  means  no  more  than  a  sign  of  .(Eneas's  going 
under  ground  where  mines  are. 

t  That  is,  that  he  was  crack-brained. 

^  From  this  passage,  and  from  the  proverb  used,  (Post.  Works, 
V.  ii.  No.  114,)  viz.,  "he  has  brought  his  noble  to  a  ninepence," 
one  would  be  led  to  conclude  that  some  coins  had  actually  been 
strucken  of  this  denomination  and  value.  And,  indeed,  two  in- 
stances of  this  are  recorded  by  Mr.  Folkes,  both  during  the  civil 
wars,  the  one  at  Dublin,  and  the  other  at  Newark.  Table  of 
English  coins,  ed.  170:1,  p.  !)•,>,  plates  27,  4,  anil  'i8.  But  long  be- 
fore this  period,  by  royal  proclamation  of  Julv  !J.  1.5ol,  the  base 
testoons  or  shillings  of  Henry  VIII.  and  Edward  VI.  were  rated 
z'.  ninepence,  (Folkes,  ibid.  p.  37.)  and  of  the.se  there  were  great 
n'.ii.ibcrs.  It  may  be  conjectured  also,  that  the  dipt  shillings  of 
EJward  and  Filizabeth,  and,  perhaps,  some  foreign  silver  coins, 
might  pass  by  common  allowance  and  tacit  agreement  for  nine- 
pence,  and  be  so  called.  In  William  Prynne's  answer  to  John 
Audland  the  Quaker,  in  Butler's  Genuine  Remains,  vol.  i.  p.  382, 
we  read,  a  light  piece  of  gold  is  good  and  lawful  English  coin, 
current  with  allowance,  though  it  bo  dipt,  filed,  washed,  or 
H-orn:  even  so  are  my  ears  legal,  warrantable,  and  sutticient 
cnrs,  however  they  have  been  dipt,  par'd,  eropt,  circumcis'd. 

In  Queen  Elizabeth's  time,  as  llolinshed.  Stow,  and  Camden 
affirm,  a  proclamation  was  issued,  declaring  that  the  testoons 
coined  for  twelve-pence,  should  be  current  for  four  pence  half 
t)enny ;  an  inferior  sort,  marked  with  a  greyhound,  for  Iwo-penea 


59  IILDIBRAS.  tl'ART  i 

Ho  ne'er  considei'd  it,  as  loth* 

To  look  a  gift  horse  in  tlie  month  ;  -l^'* 

And  very  wisely  would  lay  fortli 

No  more  upon  it  than  'twas  worth, t 

But  as  he  got  it  freely,  so 

He  spent  it  frank  and  freely  too. 

For  saints  themselves  will  sometimes  be,  495 

Of  gifts  that  cost  tliem  nothing,  free. 

By  "means  of  this,  with  hem  and  cough, 

Prolongers  to  enlighten'd  snuff, t 

Hejjjuld  deep  mysteries  unriddle, 

(■iirlliins;  ami  a  third  and  worst  sort  not  to  be  current  at  all: 
stamping  and  niillina  money  look  place  about  the  year  1G6-2. 

All  or  any  of  these  pieces  mijiht  serve  for  pocket  pieces  among 
the  vulgar,  and  be  given  to  their  sweethearts  or  comrades,  as 
tokens  of  reinend)rance  and  affection.  At  this  day  an  Eliza- 
beth's shilling  is  notunfrcquently  applieil  to  such  purpose.  The 
country  people  say  commonly,  I  will  use  your  commenilatinns, 
that  is.  make  your  compliments.  George  Philips,  before  his 
e.vecntion.  bended  a  sixpence,  and  presented  it  to  a  friend  of  his, 
Mr.  Stroud.  He  pave  a  bended  shilling  to  one  fdr.  Clark.  See  a 
brief  narr.-vtive  of  the  stupendous  Uagedy  intended  by  the  satan- 
ical  saints,  ]6t;2,  p.  ,5<). 

*  That  is,  he  did  not  consider  it  was  crackt  and  broken,  or  per- 
haps it  may  mean,  he  did  not  overv.ilue,  and  hoard  it  up,  it 
being  given  him  by  inspiration,  according  to  the  doctrine  of  the 
In<lependents.  ,.  . 

t  When  the  barber  came  to  sh.ive  Sir  Thomas  More  the 
morning  of  bis  e.xecution.  the  prisoner  tol<l  him,  "  that  there 
"  tv.13  a  contest  betwixt  the  King  and  him  for  his  head,  and  he 
"  W(mld  not  willinglv  lay  out  more  upon  it  tban  it  was  worth." 
X  Prolimrrers  to  cnti^ldcn'd  .s-nii/.— This  readmg  seems  con- 
firmed by  Butler's  Genuine  Remains,  vol.  i.  p.  55,  anil  1  prefer  it 
to  "enlightened  slulf."  Enlightened  snutf  is  a  good  allusion. 
As  a  lamp  just  e.xpiring  with  a  faint  light  for  want  of  oil,  emits 
flashes  at  intervals  ;  so  the  tailor's  shallow  discourse,  like  the 
extempore  preaching  of  his  brethren,  was  lengthened  out  with 
hems  and  couahs,  with  stops  and  pauses,  for  want  of  matter. 
The  preachers  of  those  days  considered  hems,  nasal  tones,  and 
coughs,  as  graces  of  oratory.  Some  of  their  discimrses  are  p-i-inted 
witfi  breaks  and  marginal  notes,  which  shew  where  the  preacher 
introduced  his  embellishments. 

The  expiring  state  of  the  lamp  has  furnished  Mr.  Addison 
with  a  beautiful  simile  in  his  Cato: 

Thus  o'er  the  dying  lamp  th'  unsiea.ly  flame 
Hangs  (luivering  on  a  point,  leaps  ofl"by  fits, 
And  falls  again,  as  loath  to  (luit  its  hold 
And  Mr.  Butler,  Part  iii.  Cant.  ii.  1.  340,  says. 
Prolong  the  snufl'of  life  in  pain. 
And  from  the  grave  recover— gain. 
See  also  Genuine  Remains,  vol.  1.  p.  374.    "  AnA  this  serves 
"thee  to  the  same  purpose  that  hem's  and  hali's  do  thy  gifted 
"ghostly  fathers,  that  is,  lolose  time,  and  put  off  thy  commodity.'" 
Butlei  .«eems  fond  of  this  expression :  "  the  sn  itT  of  the  moon 
(o  fall  a.s  harsh  as  the  snuff  of  a  sermon." 


r*NTo  1.]  IILDIBRAS.  69 

As  easilyasthread  a  needle  ;  SOC 

For  as  of  vagabonds  we  say, 

That  they  are  ne'er  beside  tlieir  way 

Whate'er  men  speak  by  tliis  new  lijjhl, 

Still  they  are  sure  to  be  i'  tii'  ji<jht, 

'Ti;i  a  dark-lanthoru  of  the  spirit,  50J 

Which  none  see  by  but  those  that  bear  it ;  ,, 

A  light  that  falls  down  from  on  high,*        (       /^ 

For  spiritual  trades  to  cozen  by  : 

\n  ignis  fatuus,  that  bewitciies, 

And  leads  men  into  pools  and  ditches,t  318 

To  niake  them  dip  tliemselves,  and  sound 

i^r  Christendom  in  dirty  pond  ;  / 

To  dive,  like  wild-fowl,  for  salvation,  / 

And  fish  to  catch  regeneration.  ■  '^ 

This  liglit  inspires,  and  plays  upon  jli 

The  nose  of  saint,  like  bagpipe  drone. 

And  speaks  through  hollow  empty  soul. 

As  through  a  trunk,  or  whisp'ring  hole. 

Such  language  as  no  mortal  ear 

But  si)iritual  eaves-droppers  can  hear.  320 

So  Phffibus,  or  some  friendly  muse. 

Into  small  poets  song  infuse  ; 

Which  they  at  second-hand  reheai-sc, 

Thro'  reed  or  bagpipe,  verse  for  verse 

Thus  Ralpli  became  infallible,  5-25 

As  three  or  four  legg'd  oracle, 

The  ancient  cup  or  modern  chair  ;t 

Spoke  truth  point  blank,  though  unaware. 

For  mystic  learning  wondrous  able 

In  magic  talisman,  and  cabal, §  530 


*  A  burlesque  parallel  Ijctwccn  the  spiritual  "ifts,  and  the 
fky-lighls  which  trudesiiien  soiuetiincs  have  in  their  shops  tc 
«hew  their  goods  to  advantage. 

t  An  h'jmnrous  parallel  between  the  vapory  e.\halaiion 
which  inisloails  the  traveller,  and  the  re-baptizing  practised  by 
the  Anabaptists. 

i  "Is  not  this  the  cup,  sailh  .loscph's  steward,  whereby  in- 
deed my  lord  divined  1"  The  Pope's  dictates  are  said  to  be 
infallible,  when  lie  delivers  tlicni  ex  cathedra.  The  priestess 
0.'  Apollo  at  Delphos  used  a  thrce-legficd  stool  when  she  gave 
out  her  oracles.  From  ,losci)h's  cup,  perhaps,  came  the  idea  of 
telling  fortunes  by  colTee  grounds. 

Four-legged  oracle,  r.teans  telling  fortunes  from  quadrupeds. 
The  word  oracle  occurs  in  like  latitude,  p.  2,  c.  iii.  v.  5G9. 

$  Tali-sman  was  a  magical  inscrii)lion  or  (igurc,  engraven,  or 
fast,  by  the  direction  of  astrologers,  under  certain  positions  of 
the  heavenly  bodies.  The  talisman  of  Apolh)nius,  which  stood 
in  the  hippodrome  at  ('onstaotinople,  was  a  brazen  eagle     !■ 


BO  IIUDIBRAS.  .  I'ART  1 

Whose  primitive  tradition  reaches, 

As  far  as  Aduin's  first  {jreen  breeches  :* 

Deep-sighted  m  intelligences, 

Ideas,  atoms,  influences  ; 

And  much  of  terra  incognita,  534 

Th'  intelligible  world  could  say  ;t 

A  deep  occult  piiiloso])her. 

As  learn'd  as  the  wild  Irisli  are,t 


was  melted  down  when  the  Latins  took  that  city.  They  were 
thousht  to  have  great  etHcacy  as  preservatives  from  disease  and 
nil  kfiuis  of  evil.  The  image  of  any  vermin  cast  in  the  precise 
moment,  uniler  a  pariicular  position  of  the  stars,  was  supposed 
to  (lesimy  the  vermin  represented.'  Some  make  Apollonius 
'J'yanaus'the  Inventor  of  talismans:  but  they  were  prohalily  of 
still  liiglicr  antiquity.  Necepsus,  a  king  of  Egypt,  wrote  a  treatise 
he  ratione  prajscicndi  lulura,  &.c.  'J'lnis  Ausonius,  Epist.  19. 
Pontio  Paulino — •' Unique  magos  docuit  niysteria  vana  Necep 
sus."  The  Greeks  called  them  TtXwfinra,  liut  the  name  proba- 
bly is  Arabic.  Gregory'.s  account  of  tliem  is  learned  aiid  copious. 
Cabal,  or  cabbala,  is  a  sort  of  ilivination  by  letters  or  numbers  : 
it  signifies  likewise  the  secret  or  mysterious  doctrines  of  any 
religion  or  sect.  The  Jews  pretend  lo  have  received  their  cab- 
bala from  Moses,  or  even  from  Adam.  "Aiunt  se  conservasse 
a  tenipi)rilius  Mosis,  vel  etiam  ipsius  Adami,  doctrinam  quandam 
arcanani  dictam  cabalam."     Burnet's  Archeol.  Pliilosoph. 

*  The  author  of  the  Magia  Adaniica  endeavors  to  prove,  that 
the  learning  of  the  ancient  Magi  was  derived  from  the  know- 
ledge which  God  himself  conuuunicated  to  .\dam  in  parailise. 
The  second  line  was  probably  intended  to  burlesque  the  Gene- 
va translation  of  the  Bible,  published  with  notes.  I,5!)9,  which 
in  the  third  of  (Jenesis,  says  of  Adam  and  Eve,  "  they  sewed 
lig-leaves  together,  and  made  themselves  hreeihes."  In  !Mr. 
Butler's  character  of  an  hermetic  philosopher,  (Genuine  Re 
mains,  vol.  ii.  p.  2-27,)  we  read  :  "  he  derives  the  pedigree  of  ma- 
"  gic  from  Adam's  first  green  breeches  ;  because  fig-leaves  being 
"  the  first  cloaths  that  mankind  wore,  were  only  used  for  cr^ver 
"  ing,  and  therefore  are  the  most  antient  monuments  of  con 
"cealed  mysteries." 

t  "  Ideas,  according  to  my  philosophy,  arc  not  in  the  s.iul, 
"but  in  a  superior  intelligible  nature,  wherein  the  soul  only 
"  beholds  and  contemplates  them.  And  so  they  are  only  oli- 
"jectively  in  the  soul,  or  tanquam  in  cognoscente,  but  really 
"elsewhere,  even  in  the  intelligible  world,  that  Kiic//oj  vo>/rdj 
wliich  Plato  speaks  of.  tow'hich  the  soul  is  united,  and  where 
•she  beholds  them."  See  Mr.  Norris's  Letter  to  .Mr.  Dodwell, 
toncerning  the  immortality  of  the  soul  of  man,  p.  114. 

X  See  the  ancient  and  modern  customs  of  the  Irish,  in  Cam- 
den's Britannia,  and  S^jieod's  Theatre.  Here  the  poet  may  use 
his  favorite  figure,  the  anticlimax.  Yet  I  am  not  certain  whether 
Mr.  Butler  did  not  mean,  in  earnest,  to  call  the  Irish  learned: 
for  in  the  age  of  St.  Patrick,  the  Saxons  flocked  to  Ireland  as  tc 
the  great  mart  of  learning.  We  find  it  often  mentioned  in  oui 
writers,  that  such  an  one  was  sent  into  Ireland  to  be  educated 
Suigenus,  who  flourished  about  si.x  hundred  years  ago — 
E.vemplo  patruin  comnir>tus  amore  legendi 
Ivil  ud  Hibernos,  sophiSi  mirabile  claros. 


i:a.vic)I.J  lll.DliniAS.  61 

Or  Sir  Agri])iia,  for  profound 

And  solid  lyinjf  much  rcnown'd  :*  Sit 

lie  Antliroposoplius,  ami  Floud,        ^ 

And  Jiicub  Heliincn  understood  jt 

Knew  many  an  amulet  and  charm, 

Tliut  would  do  neither  "-ootl  nor  harm  ; 


In  Mr.  Butler's  MS.  Common-place  book  he  says,  "  When  Oi« 

Saxons  invaded  the  Britons,  it  is  very  probable  ihat  many  tied 
"into  I'oreis^ii  countries,  to  avoid  the  lury  ol'  their  arms,  (as  th« 
"Veneti  did  into  tl;j  islands  of  the  Adriatic  sea,  when  AttiU 
'invaded  Italy,)  and  some,  if  not  most  into  Ireland,  who  car- 
"  ried  with  them  that  learning  which  the  Romans  had  planted 
"  here,  which,  when  the  Sa.vons  had  nearly  e.\tin(:uished  it  in 
"this  island,  flourished  at  s.i  hijjh  a  rate  thstro,  that  most  of 
"  those  nations,  amonf;  whom  the  northern  people  liad  intro- 
"duced  barbarism,  beginning  to  recover  a  little  civility,  were 
"glad  to  send  their  children  to  bo  instructed  in  religion  iind 
"  learning,  into  Ireland." 

*  Sir  Agrippa  was  born  at  Cologn,  ann.  148G,  and  knighted  for 
his  military  services  under  the  Emperor  Maximilian.  When 
very  young,  he  published  a  book  De  Occulta  I'hilosophiil,  which 
contains  almost  all  the  stories  that  ever  roguery  invented,  or 
credulity  swallowed  concerning  the  operations  of  magic.  But 
Agrippa  was  a  man  of  great  worth  and  honor,  as  well  as  of 
great  learning;  and  in  his  riper  years  was  thoroughly  ashamed 
of  this  book;  nor  is  it  to  be  found  in  the  lolio  edition  of  his 
works. — In  his  preface  he  says,  "Si  alicubi  erratum  sit,  sive 
"quid  liberius  dictum,  ignoscile  adolescenti;e  nostnv,  qui  minor 
"  quam  adolesccns  hue  opus  composui :  ut  possim  me  excusare, 
"  ac  diccre,  dam  eram  parvulus,  loquebar  ut  parvulus,  factus 
"  aulem  vir,  evacuavi  quiB  erant  parvuli  ;  ac  in  libro  de  vanitate 
"scicntiarum  hunc  librum  magna  ex  parte  retractavi." — Paulus 
Jovitis  in  his  "  Elogia  doctorum  Virorum,"  says  of  Sir  Agrippa, 
"  a  Cajsare  eruditionis  ergo  equestris  ordinis  dignitate  honesta- 
"  tus."  p.  'S.Vi.  Bayle,  in  his  Dictionary  v.  Agrippa,  note  O, 
says  that  the  fourth  book  was  untruly  ascribed  to  Agrippa. 

t  Anthroposophus  was  a  nickname  given  to  one  Thomas  Vaugh 
«n,  Rector  of  Saint  Bridge's,  in  Bedfordshire,  and  author  of  a 
discourse  on  the  nature  of  man  in  the  state  after  death,  entitled, 
Anihropo^ophiH  Theomagica.— "  A  treatise,"  says  Uean  Swift. 
'■  written  about  lifty  years  ago,  by  a  Welch  gentleman  of  Cam- 
"  bridge :  his  name,  as  I  remember,  was  Vaughan,  as  ai)pears 
"  by  tlie  answer  to  it  written  by  the  learned  Or.  Henry  Moor: 
"it  is  a  piece  of  the  most  unintelligible  fustian  that  perhaps 
"  was  ever  publislied  in  any  language." 

Robert  Floud,  a  native  of 'Kent,  and  son  of  Sir  Thomas  Floud 
Treasurer  of  War  to  Queen  Elizabeth,  was  Doctor  of  Physic  of 
St.  John'sCollege,  Oxford,  and  much  given  to  occult  philosophy 
He  wrote  an  apology  for  the  Rosycrucians,  also  a  system  of 
physics,  called  tlie  Mosaic  Philosophy,  and  many  other  obscur« 
and  mystical  tracts.  Monsieur  Rapin  says,  that  Elou<l  was  the 
Paracelsus  i if  philosophers,  as  Paracelsus  was  the  Floud  of  phy- 
sicians. His  opinions  were  th<iught  worthy  of  a  serious  confu- 
tation by  (Jassindi.  Jac(d)  Bcfhmcn  Was  an  ilUl;(2§.l</r..ai)d  en 
thusiast,  of  somuwhal  an  earlier  date,  by  friu'Te,'"!  believe,  a  coi» 
bier.  IVlr.  Law,  wlio  revived  some  of  his  notions,  calls  him  • 
I'heosopher.    Ho  wrote  uninteligiblv  in  dark  mystical  ievati 


b-j  HUDIBRAS.  (Fart. 

In  Rosycrucian  lore  as  learned,*  54."* 

As  he  tliat  vere  adeptus  earned  : 
He  understood  the  speech  of  birdst 

*  The  Rosycrucians  were  a  sect  of  hermetical  philosojjheta 
The  name  ajipcars  to  be  derived  Iroiii  ros,  dew,  and  crux,  a  cross 
Dew  was  supposed  to  he  the  most  powerful  solvent  of  gold  ;  and 
a  cross  +  cunUiins  the  letters  which  compose  the  word  \uy, 
light,  called,  in  the  jargon  of  the  sect,  the  seed  or  menstruum 
of  the  red  dragon  ;  or,  in  other  words,  that  gross  and  corporeal 
light,  which,  properly  modified,  produces  gold.  They  owed  their 
origin  to  a  German  gentleman,  called  Christian  Kosencruz  ;  and 
from  him  likewise,  perhaps,  their  name  of  Rosycrucians,  though 
they  frequently  went  hy  other  names,  such  as  the  Illuminati, 
the  Immortales,  the  Invisihle  Brothers.  This  gentleman  had 
travelled  to  the  Holy  Land  in  the  fourteenth  century,  and  formed 
an  acquaintance  with  some  eastern  philosophers.  They  were 
noticed  in  England  before  the  beginning  of  the  last  ccnturj-. 
Their  learning  had  a  great  mi.\ture  of  enthusiasm  ;  and  as 
Lemery,  the  f imous  chymist,  says,  "  it  was  an  art  without  an 
"  art,  whose  beginning  was  lying,  whose  middle  was  labor,  and 
"  whose  end  was  beggary."  Mr.  Hales,  of  Eton,  concerning 
Ihe  w-eapon  salve,  p. 'Jt'2,  says,  "a  merry  gullery  put  upon  the 

world  ;  a  grild  of  men,  who  style  themselves  the  brethren  of 
"  the  Rosycross ;  a  fraternity,  who,  what,  or  v/here  they  are,  no 
"  man  yet,  no  not  they  who  believe,  admire,  and  devote  them- 
'' selves  unto  them,  could  ever  discover." — See  (;haufepie's 
Diet.  V.  Jungius,  note  D  ;  and  Brucker.  Hist.  Critic.  I'hil.  iv.  i.  p. 
73t).  Naudoeus  and  Mosheim.  Inst.  Hist.  Christ,  recent,  sec.  17. 
I.  4,  28. — Lore,  i.  e.  science,  knowledge,  from  Anglo-Saxon,  learn, 
Ijeran,  to  leath. 

t  The  senate  and  people  of  Abdera,  in  their  letter  to  Hippo- 
crates, give  it  as  an  instance  of  the  madness  of  Democritns,  that 
he  pretended  to  understand  the  language  of  birds.  Porphyry, 
de  abstinentia,  lib.  iii.  cap.  3,  contends  that  animals  have  a  lan- 
guage, and  that  men  may  understitnd  it.  He  instances  in  Ale- 
lamj)us  and  Tiresias  of  old,  and  Apollonius  of  Tyana,  who  heard 
one  swallow  proclaim  to  the  rest,  that  by  the  fall  of  an  ass  a 
quantity  of  wheat  lay  scattered  upon  the  road.  1  believe  swal- 
lows do  not  eat  wheat.  [Certainly  not.]  I'hilostratus  tells  us 
the  same  tale,  with  more  propriety,  of  a  sparrow.  Porphyry 
adds, — "a  friend  assured  me  that  a  youth, who  was  his  page, 
"  understood  all  the  articulations  of  birds,  and  that  they  were 
"  all  prophetic.  But  the  boy  was  unhappily  deprived  of  the 
"  faculty;  for  his  mother,  fearing  he  should  be  sent  as  a  present 
"  to  the  emperor,  took  an  ojiportunity,  when  he  was  asleep,  to 
"  piss  into  his  ear."  The  author  of  the  Targum  on  Esther  says, 
that  Solomon  understood  the  speech  of  birds. 

The  reader  will  be  amused  by  comparing  the  above  lines  with 
Mr.  Butler's  character  of  an  Hermclic  philosopher,  in  the  second 
volume  of  his  Genuine  Remains,  published  by  Mr.  Thyer,  p.  2:25, 
a  character  which  contains  much  wit.  Mr.  Bruce  in  his  Trav- 
els, vol.  ii.  p.  243,  says.  There  was  brought  into  Abyssinia  a  bird 
called  Para,  about  the  ;,;^)es3  of  a  hen,  and  spoke  all  languages, 
Indian,  I'ortuguone,  and  Arabic.  It  named  the  king's  name; 
although  its  voice  was  thatof  a  man,  it  could  neigh  like  a  hcjrse 
and  mew  like  acat,  but  did  not  sing  likea  bird — from  an  Histori- 
an of  that  countiy. — In  the  year  J().i.i,  a  book  wis  printed  in 
London,  by  John  Stafford,  entitled,  Ornilhologie,  or  the  Speech 
Birds,  to  which  probably  Mr.  Butler  might  allude. 


Tanto  i.J  IIUDIBRAS.  63 

As  Wfll  as  tlioy  tlieinselves  do  words ; 

Could  lell  what  subtlest  ])arrots  iiieau. 

That  speak  and  tiiink  contrary  clean  ;  550 

What  member  'tis  of  whom  they  talk, 

When  they  cry  Rope — and  W^alk,  Knave,  w<ilk.* 

He'd  extract  numbers  out  of  niatter.t 

And  keep  them  in  a  glass,  like  water. 

Of  sov'reijrn  pow'r  to  make  men  wise  ;*  55J 

For,  dropt  in  blear,  thick-sighted  eyes. 

They'd  make  them  sec  in  darkest  night, 

Like  owls,  tho'  purblind  in  the  light. 

By  help  of  these,  as  he  profest. 

He  had  first  matter  seen  undrest :  5M 

He  took  her  naked,  all  alone, 

Befoie  cue  rag  of  form  was  on.§ 

The  chaos  too  he  had  descry'd. 

And  seen  quite  thro',  or  else  he  iy'd : 

Not  that  of  pasteboard,  which  men  shew  5(.i 

For  groats,  at  fair  of  Barthol'mew  ;{| 

But  its  great  grandsire,  first  o'  th'  name, 

^yIleucc  that  and  Reformation  came, 

Both  cpusin-germans,  and  right  able 

T'  inveigle  and  draw  in  the  rabble :  57i 

But  Reformation  was,  some  say. 


*  This  probably  alludes  to  some  parrot,  that  was  taught  to  cry 
rogue,  knave,  a  rope,  after  persons  as  they  went  along  the  street. 
The  same  is  often  practised  now,  to  the  great  olVence  of  many  an 
honest  countryman,  wlio  when  he  complains  to  the  owner  of 
the  abuse,  is  told  by  him,  Take  care,  sir,  my  parrot  projihesies — 
this  might  allude  to  more  members  than  one  of  the  house  of 
commons. 

t  Every  absurd  notion,  that  cnuld  be  picked  up  from  the  an 
cients,  was  adopted  by  the  wild  enthusiasts  of  our  author's  days. 
I'lato,  as  Aristotle  informs  us,  Met.iph.  lib.  i.  c.  fi,  conceived 
nimibers  to  exist. by  themselves,  besides  the  sensibles,  like  acci- 
ilenls  without  a  substance.  I'ythayoras  maintained  that  sensi- 
ble tilings  consisted  of  numbers,  lb.  lib.  xi.  c.  0.  And  see  I'lato 
in  his  Oatylus. 

t  The  Tylhagorean  philosophy  held  that  there  were  certain 
mystical  charms  in  certain  nuiubers. 

Plato  held  whatsoe'er  encumbers, 

Or  strengthens  empire,  comes  from  numbers. 

Butler's  MS. 

5  Thus  Cleveland,  page  110.  "  The  next  ingredient  of  a  diiir 
nal  is  plots,  liDrrible  plots,  wliich  with  wonderful  sagacity  i: 
hunts  dry  foot,  while  they  are  yet  in  their  causes,  before  materi.i 
prima  can  |iut  on  her  smock." 

II  The  puppet-shews,  sometimes  called  Moralities,  exhibitet) 
'he  chaos,  the  creation,  the  tlood,  &c. 
G 


fi4  lUDlBRAS.  [Part 

O'  th'  younger  house  t^o  puppet-play.* 

He  could  foretel  vvliats'ever  was, 

By  consequence,  to  come  to  pass : 

As  death  of  irreat  men,  alterations,  57S 

Diseases,  battles,  inundations: 

All  tliis  witiiout  til'  eclipse  of  th'  sun, 

Or  dreadful  comet,  he  hath  done 

By  INWARD  LIGHT,  a  Way  as  good, 

And  easy  to  be  understood  :  580 

But  with  more  lucky  hit  than  those 

That  use  to  make  the  stars  depose, 

Like  knights  o'  th'  post.t  and  falsely  charge 

Upon  themselves  what  others  forge  ; 

As  if  they  were  consenting  to  .")8S 

All  mischief  in  the  world  men  do: 

Or,  like  the  devil,  did  tempt  and  sway  'em 

To  rogueries,  and  then  betray  'em. 

They'll  search  a  [)lanel's  house,  to  know 

Who  broke  and  robb'd  a  house  below  ;  590 

Examine  Venus  and  tlie  Moon, 

Who  stole  a  thimble  and  a  spoon  ; 

And  tho'  they  notiiing  will  confess, 

Yet  by  their  very  looks  can  guess. 

And  tell  what  guilty  aspect  bodes, t  ."ig.) 

*  It  has  not  been  usual  to  comp:ire  hypocrites  to  puppets,  as 
not  being  what  tliey  seemed  and  pretended,  nor  hrivin-:  any  true 
meaning  or  real  conscimisness  in  what  they  said  or  did.  I  re- 
luoniber  two  passajies.  writlcn  abuutoiii  author's  time,  from  one 
of  which  he  niifiht  pos>il<ly  take  the  hint.  "  Even  as  statues 
"and  puppets  do  move  their  eyes,  their  hands,  their  feel,  like 
"unto  livinj;  men  ;  and  yet  are  n<Jt  living  actois,  because  their 
"anions  come  not  from  an  inward  soul,  the  fountain  of  life,  but 
"  from  the  artificial  poise  of  weights  when  set  by  the  workmen  ; 
"  even  so  hypocrites."     Mr.  Mede. 

Bishop  Laud  said,  "  that  some  hypocrites,  and  seeming  morti- 
"  fled  men  that  hold  down  their  heads,  were  like  little  images 
"  that  they  place  in  the  bowing  of  the  vaults  of  churches,  that 
"  look  as  if  they  lield  up  the  church,  and  yel  are  but  piipi>ets." 

The  first  plays  acted  in  England  were  called  Mysteries  ;  their 
subjects  were  generally  scripture  stories,  such  as  the  Creation, 
the  Deluge,  the  liirth  of  Christ,  the  Resurrection,  <kc.  &c. ;  this 
sort  of  puppet-shew  induced  many  to  read  the  Old  and  New 
Testament;  and  is  therefore  caiied  the  Elder  Brother  of  the 
Reformation. 

t  Knights  of  the  po^^t  were  infamous  persons,  who  attended 
the  courts  of  justice,  to  swear  for  hire  to  things  which  they 
knew  nothing  about.  In  the  14lh  and  l.')th  centuries  the  common 
people  were  so  prnlligate,  that  not  a  few  of  them  lived  by  swear- 
ing for  hire  in  courts  of  justice.  See  Henry's  History  of  Eng 
land,  and  Wilkin.  Concil.  p.  .'JSi.  i 

t  This,  and  the  fo'.lowing  lines,  are  a  very  ingenions  burl 
esque  upon  astrology  to  which  many  in  tho.se  days  gave  credit 


Onto  i.J  IIUDIBRAS.  OS 

Who  stole,  and  who  receiv'd  llie  fjoorfs: 

'I'hcy'll  question  Mars,  and,  by  liis  look, 

Detect  who  'twas  that  ninmi'd  a  cloke  ; 

Make  Mercury  confess,  and  'peach 

Those  thieves  which  ho  himself  did  teach  :•  600 

They'll  find  i'  th'  pliysiofrnoiiiies 

O'  th'  planets,  all  men's  destinies  ; 

Like  him  that  took  the  doctor's  bill. 

And  swallow'd  it  instead  o'  th'  pill,t 

Cast  the  nativity  o'  th'  question,!  605 

And  from  positions  to  bo  guest  on, 

As  sure  as  if  tliey  knew  the  moment 

Of  Native's  birth,  tell  what  will  come  out 

They'll  feel  the  pulses  of  the  stars, 

To  find  out  agues,  coughs,  catarrhs;  GIO 

And  tell  what  crisis  docs  divilie 

The  rot  in  sheep,  or  mange  in  swine  : 

In  men,  what  gives  or  cures  the  itch, 

What  made  them  cuckolds,  poor,  or  rich  ; 

What  gains,  or  loses,  hangs,  or  saves,  015 

Wliat  makes  men  great,  what  fools,  or  knaves ; 

But  not  what  V.ise,  for  only  of  those 

The  stars,  they  say,  cannot  dispose, § 

No  more  than  can  the  astrologians : 

There  they  say  right,  and  like  true  Trojans.  (i'Ji) 


*  Mercury  was  supposed  by  the  poets  to  be  the  patron,  or  god 
of  thieves. 

t  This  alUides  to  a  well-known  story  told  in  Henry  Stephen's 
apolosy  for  Herodotus.  A  physican  having  prescribed  for  a 
countryman,  gave  him  the  paper  on  which  he  had  written,  and 
told  liim,  he  must  be  sure  to  lake  that,  iiieanin;;  the  potion  he 
had  therein  ordered.  'J"he  countryman,  mi.sunderstanding  the 
doctor,  \vrai)t  up  the  paper  like  a  bolus,  swallowed  it,  and  was 
cured. 

I  When  any  one  came  to  an  astrologer  to  have  his  child's 
nativity  cast,  and  had  forgotten  the  precise  time  of  its  birth,  the 
figure-caster  took  the  position  of  the  heavens  at  the  minute  the 
question  was  asked. 

Mr.  Bailor,  in  his  character  of  an  hermetic  philosopher,  (see 
Genuine  Remains,  vol.  ii.  p.  241,)  says,  "  learned  astrologers  ol)- 
"  serving  the  impossibility  of  knowing  the  exact  moment  of  any 
"  man's  birth,  do  use  very  prudi^ntly  to  cast  the  nativity  of  Iha 
"question,  (like  him  that  swallowed  the  doctor's  bill  instead  of 
"  the  medicine,)  and  find  the  answer  as  certain  and  infallible,  as 
"if  they  had  known  the  very  instant  in  which  the  native,  as 
'  tliey  call  him,  crept  into  the  world." 

5  Sapiens  dominabitiir  astris,  was  an  old  proverb  among  the 
astrologers.  Bishop  Warburton  observes,  that  the  obscurity  in 
these  lines  arises  from  the  double  sense  of  the  word  dispors  ; 
When  it  relates  to  thesttrs,  it  signifies  i/i/Ji/ence;  when  it  relates 
to  astrologers  it  signifies  deceine. 


J^ 


50  HUDIBRAS.  [Tart  . 

This  Ralpho  knew,  and  therefore  tojk 
The  other  course  of  which  we  spoke.* 

Tlius  was  til'  accoinplish'd  squire  endu'd 
With  gifts  and  knowledge  per'loiis  slirewd. 
Siner  did  trust}'  squire  witli  knight,  623 

Or  knight  witli  squire,  e'er  jump  more  riglit. 
Tlieir  arms  and  equipage  did  fit. 
As  well  as  virtues,  parts,  and  wit : 
Their  valors,  too,  were  of  a  rate, 
And  out  tiiey  saily'd  at  the  gate.  li3U 

Few  miles  on  hor.seback  had  they  jogged, 
But  fortune  unto  them  turn'd  dogged  ; 
For  they  a  sad  adventure  met, 
i     Of  which  wo  now  prepare  to  treat : 

But  ere  we  venture  to  unfold,  jSS 

Achievements  so  resolv'd,  and  bold, 

We  shouTJ,  as  learned  poets  use. 

Invoke  th'  assistance  of  some  muse  ;t 

However  critics  count  it  sillier, 

Than  jugglers  talking  t'  a  familiar  :  (j-iO 

We  think  'tis  no  great  matter  which,? 

They're  all  alike,  yet  we  shall  pitch 

On  one  that  fits  our  purpose  most, 

Whom  therefore  thus  we  do  accost : — 

r_Thou  that  with  ale  or  viler  liquors,  i>45 

Didst  inspire  Withers,  Piyn,  and  Vickars,§ 

*  Rulplio  did  not  take  to  astrological,  but  to  relisious  impos- 
ture ;  the  aullior  intimating  that  wise  men  were  sometimes  (te- 
cfivcd  by  this. 

t  Butler  could  not  omit  burlesquing  the  solcnm  invocations 
ivith  which  poets  address  their  Muses.  In  like  manner  .luvenal, 
!!ning  to  describe  iJoinitian's  great  tuibot,  ludicrously  invokes 
the  assistance  of  ihe  Muses  in  his  fourth  satire. 

1  Bishop  Warburton  thinks  it  should  be  read,  They  think,  tha  . 
Is  the  critics. 

$  The  Rev.  Mr.  Charles  Dunster,  the  learned  and  ingenions 
translator  of  the  Frogs  of  Aristophanes,  and  the  Editor  of 
I'hilips's  Cider,  has  taken  some  pains  to  vindicate  the  character 
of  Withers  as  a  poet.  Party  might  imluce  Butler  to  speak  slight- 
ingly of  him  ;  lint  he  seems  to  wonder  why  Swift,  and  Grangri 
in  his  Biographical  History,  should  hold  him  up  as  an  object  of 
contempt.  His  works  are  very  numerous,  and  Mr.  Granger  says, 
his  Eclogues  are  esteeme<l  the  best;  but  Mr.  Dun><tcr  gives  a 
few  lines  from  his  Britain's  Remembrancer,  a  poem  in  eight 
Vantos,  written  upon  occasion  of  Ihe  plague,  which  raged  in 
London  in  the  year  1()2.';,  which  bear  some  resemblance  to  east- 
ern poclry  :  twi)  pieces  of  his,  by  no  means  rontcmplible,  are 
uublisbed  among  Ihe  old  Enslish  ballads,  and  extracts  chiefly 
r>Ticii I.  from  his  Juvenilia,  were  printed  in  1785,  for  J.  Sewell 
Cornhill. 

Cksorge  Withers  died  IGGT,  aged  79.— For  a  further  accoi.int  oi 


l.ANTO  i.J  IIUDIBRAS.  «7 

And  force  tliem,  tlioiigh  it  were  in  t>i>ito 

Of  Nature,  luui  their  stars,  to  write  ; 

\Vlio,  us  we  find  in  sullen  writs,* 

And  cross-grain'd  works  of  moderii  wits,  fJSfl 

With  vanity,  opinion,  want, 

Tlic  wonder  of  the  ignorant, 

'rhe  praises  of  tlic  author,  penn'd 

Tiy  himself,  or  wit-insuring  I'riend  ;t 

The  ite,h  of  picture  in  the  front,}  055 

With  bays,  and  wicked  rhynio  npon't. 


Dim,  see  Kennct's  Register  ami  Chronicle,  page  C48:  lie  is  iiien- 

tioiieil  in  lluilibras,  Pari  ii.  Cant"  iii.  I.  H!9. 
Tlie  extract  I'roni  his  Britain's  Uemcnil)ri\ncer  here  follows, 

Rhich,  Mr.  Diiiister  says,  may  perliaps  challenge   "comparison 

"  with  any  instance  of  the  Ocbi  uir4  /'i7X<'>''>S  '"  ancient  or  moil- 

"  eni  poetry." 

it  prov'U 

A  crying  sin,  and  so  extremely  mov'd 
God's  gentleness,  that  angry  ho  hecaine: 
His  brows  were  hended,  and  his  eyes  did  (lame, 
Melhought  I  saw  it  so  ;  and  thongli  I  were 
Afraid  within  his  presence  to  ajipear, 
My  soul  was  rais'd  above  Iter  common  station, 
V\'tiere,  what  ensues,  1  view'd  by  contemplation. 
There  is  a  spacious  round,  which  bravely  rears 
Her  arch  above  the  top  oCall  the  spheres, 
Until  her  bright  circmnlerence  doth  rise. 
Above  the  reach  of  man's,  or  angels'  eyes, 
Conveying,  through  the  bodies  chrystalline, 
'I'liosc  rays  which  on  our  lower  globes  do  shine; 
And  all  the  great  and  lesser  orbs  do  lie 
Within  the  compass  of  their  canopy. 

In  this  large  room  of  state  is  fix'il  a  throne. 
From  whence  the  wise  Creator  looks  upon 
His  workmanship,  and  thence  doth  hear  and  see 
All  sounds,  all  places,  and  all  things  that  be : 
Here  sat  the  king  of  gods,  and  from  about 
Mis  eye-lids  so  much  terror  sparkled  out. 
That  every  circle  of  the  heavens  it  shook. 
And  all  the  world  did  tremble  at  his  look 
'J'he  prospect  of  the  sky,  that  erst  was  clear. 
Did  with  a  lovv'ring  countenance  appear; 
The  troubled  air  before  his  presence  tied. 
The  earth  into  her  bosom  shrunk  her  head  ; 
'I'lie  deeps  did  roar,  the  heights  did  stand  aniaz'd 
The  moon  and  stars  upon  each  other  gaz'd ; 
The  sun  did  stand  unmoved  in  his  path, 
The  host  of  heaven  was  frighted  at  his  wrath  ; 
And  with  a  voice,  which  made  all  nature  quake, 
To  this  elfect  the  great  Eternal  spake.       Canto  i.  p.  17 

*  That  is,  ill-natured  satirical  writings. 

I  He  very  ingeniously  ridicules  the  vanity  of  authors  who 
prefix  comniendaU)ry  verses  to  their  works. 

t  Milton,  who  had  a  high  opinion  of  his  own  person,  is  said 
o  have  been  angry  with  the  i)ainler  or  engraver  for  want  of 


C3  HUDIBRAS.  [Part 

All  that  is  left  o'  tii'  forked  hill* 

To  make  men  scribble  without  skill ; 

Canst  make  a  poet,  spite  of  fate, 

Aud  teach  all  people  to  translate  ;  OtO 

Though  out  of  languages,  in  which 

They  understand  no  part  of  speech  ; 

Assist  me  but  this  once,  I  'mplore, 

And  I  shall  trouble  thee  no  niore."^ 

In  western  clime  there  is  a  towu,t  Cr»5 

To  those  that  dweii  therein  well  known, 
Therefore  there  needs  no  more  be  said  hero, 
We  unto  them  refer  our  reader  ; 
For  brevity  is  very  good, 

When  w'  are,  or  are  not  understood.^  '"'"0 

To  this  town  people  did  repair 
On  days  of  market,  or  of  fair, 
And  to  crack"d  fiddle,  and  hoai-se  tabor, 
In  merriment  did  drudge  and  labor ; 
But  now  a  sport  more  formidable  '>75 

Had  rak'd  together  village  rabble : 
'Twas  an  old  way  of  recreating. 
Which  learned  butchers  calljiear-baiting; 
A  bold  advent'rous  exercise, 

Witli  ancient  heroes  in  high  prize  ;  680 

For  authors  do  affirm  it  came 
From  Isthmian  or  Nemean  game  ; 
Others  derive  it  from  the  bear 
That's  fix'd  hi  northern  hemisphere, 


likeness,  or  perhaps  for  want  of  grace,  in  a  print  of  himself  pre 
fixed  to  his  juvenile  poems.  He  expressed  his  displeasure  ia 
four  iambics,  which  have,  indeed,  n(j  great  merit,  and  lie  open 
to  severe  criticism,  parliciilarly  on  the  word  ivBu'ijirijia. 

'fLfiaOci  yiyiiiiipOai  X£'P'  Ti]vii  ficv  cUora 

'J'ol'  6'   iKTUiriilTOV  o{lK   ITZiyVOliTCiy    tlliXot. 

FtAurt  (pauXov  ivaftiitrifia  l,u>Ypd<pov. 
*  That  is,  Parnassus 

Nee  fonte  labra  proini  caballino: 
Nee  in  bicipili  somniasse  Parnasso 
Meniini,  ut  repente  sic  poota  prodirem. 

Pcrsii  Eat.  Prol 

t  He  probably  means  Brentford,  about  eight  miles  west  oi 
f.nndon.     t^ec  Part  ii.  Canto  iii.  v.  99G. 

t  If  we  are  understood,  more  words  are  unnecessary';  if  we 
are  not  likely  to  be  understood,  Ihey  are  useless.  Charles  11. 
answered  the  Karl  of  Manchester  with  these  lines,  only  chang 
Ing  very  for  ever,  when  he  was  niakinc  a  l/)»g  s')et:ch  in  favoi 
uf  the  dissenters. 


i.A.vro  J.J  IIUDIBRAS,  ^ 

And  round  about  tlie  poles  does  make  Orf' 

A  circle,  like  a  bear  at  stake, 

That  at  tlie  cliaiii's  end  wheels  about. 

And  overturns  the  rabble-rout : 

For  after  solemn  proclamation,* 

In  the  bear's  name,  as  is  the  fashion,  CUO 

According  to  the  law  of  arms, 

To  keep  men  from  inglorious  harms, 

That  none  presume  to  come  so  near 

As  forty  feet  of  stake  of  bear ; 

If  any  yet  be  so  fool-hardy,  093 

T'  expose  themselves  to  vain  jeopardy. 

If  they  come  wounded  off  and  lame, 

No  honor's  got  by  such  a  maim, 

Altlio'  the  bear  gain  much,  b'ing  bound 

III  honour  to  make  good  his  ground,  700 

VVhen  he's  engag'd,  and  take  no  notice, 

If  any  press  upon  him,  who  'tis. 

But  lets  them  know,  at  their  own  cost, 

That  he  intends  to  keep  his  post. 

Tiiis  to  prevent,  and  other  harms,  705 

Which  always  wait  on  feats  of  arms. 

For  in  the  hurry  of  a  fray 

'Tis  hard  to  keep  out  of  harm  s  way. 

Th|ther^the  Knight  his  course  did  steer, 

ToJieep  thepeace  'twixt  dog  and  bear,  7.0 

As  he  believ'd  he  was  bound  to  do 

Iu_consc[ence,  and  comnnssion  too  ;t 

And  therefore  thus  bespoke  the  Squire: — 

We  that  are  wisely  mounted  higher 
Than  constables  in  curule  wit,  715 

When  oil  tribunal  bench  we  sit,t 

*  The  proclaiimtion  here  mentioned,  was  usually  made  at 
•icar  or  hiiU-baitiiif;-  See  Plot's  t^tatlbrdshire,  43'J.  Solemn 
proclaiimlion  made  liy  the  steward,  that  all  manner  of  persons 
give  way  to  the  bull,  or  bear,  none  being  to  come  near  him  by 
forty  feet. 

T  The  Presbyterians  and  Independents  were  great  enemies  to 
those  sports  with  wliich  the  country  people  amused  themselves- 
Mr.  Hume,  in  the  last  volume  of  his  History  of  England,  (Man- 
ners of  the  CoMunon wealth,  chap.  ili.  anno  IGOO.  pajie  IIP,)  says, 
"All  recreations  were  in  a  manner  suspended,  by  the  rigid 
"severity  of  the  Presbyterians  and  Indeiiendenls '  even  bear- 
"  baiting  was  esteemed  lieathenish  and  unchristian  the  sport 
•of  it,  not  the  inhumanity,  gave  otlencc.  Colonel  llewson, 
"  from  his  pious  zeal,  marched  with  his  regiment  into  London, 
"and  destroyed  all  the  bears  which  were  there  kept  for  the 
"  diversion  of  the  citizens.  This  a  iventure  seems  to  have  given 
"birth  to  the  fiction  of  Hudibras." 

X  We  that  are  in  high  office,  and  sit  on  the  Itench'by  commis 


1Q  IIUDIBRAS.  ll'ARTi 

Like  speculators,  should  foresee, 

From  Pharos  of  authority. 

Portended  mischiefs  farther  than 

Low  proletarian  tything-meu  :*  '-* 

And  therefore  heing  inlorni'd  hy  bruit, 

That  dog  and  bear  are  to  dispute. 

For  so  of  late  men  figiiting  name, 

Because  they  often  prove  the  same ; 

For  where  the  first  does  hap  to  be,  725 

The  last  does  coincidere. 

Quantum  in  nobis,  liave  thought  good 

To  save  tli'  expence  of  Christian  blood, 

And  try  if  we,  by  mediation 

OTtreaty  and  accommodation,  ■  730 

Caiijjnd  the  quarrel,  and  coiiipose 

The  bloody  duel  witiiour  blows. 

Are  not  our  liberties,  ojir  lives. 
The  laws,  religion,  and  our  wives, 
Enough  at  once  to  lie  at  stake  735 

For  cov'nant,  and  the  cause's  sakc?t 
But  in  that  quan-cl  dogs  and  bears. 
As  well  as  we,  must  venture  theirs? 
This  feud  by  Jesuits  invented,! 

By  evil  counsel  is  fomented  ;  .  740 

Tjier^i^  a  Machjaviliau  plot. 
The'  ev'ry  nare  olfact  it  not,') 


sion  as  justices  of  the  peace. — Some  of  the  chief  magistrates  in 
Koine,  as  aidile,  censor,  prietor,  and  consul,  were  said  to  hold 
curule  otfices,  from  the  chair  of  stale  or  chariot -they  rode  in, 
called  sella  curulis. 

*  Proletarii  were  the  lowest  class  of  people  among  the  Ro- 
mans, wlio  had  no  property,  so  called  a  inunere  otTuionue  pro! is 
edendie,  as  if  the  only  good  they  did  to  the  state  were  in  becet- 
ting  children.  Tything-man,  that  is,  a  kind  of  inferior  or  deputy 
constable. 

t  Covenant  means  the  solemn  league  and  covenant  drawn  up 
by  the  Scotch,  and  subscribed  by  many  of  the  sectaries  in 
lingland,  who  were  fond  of  calling  their  party  The  Cause,  o» 
the  greatest  cause  in  the  world.  They  professed  they  would 
not  f()rsake  it  for  all  the  parliaments  upon  earth.  One  of  their 
writers  says,  "Will  not  the  abjurcrs  of  the  covenant,  of  all 
"others,  be  the  chief  of  sinners,  whilst  they  become  guilty  of  no 
"less  sin,  than  the  very  sin  against  the  Holy  Ghost  ?" 

i  As  Don  tiuixote  was  dreaming  of  chivalry  and  romance? 
60  it  was  llie  great  object  of  our  knight  to  extirpate  popery  and 
Independency  in  religion,  and  to  reform  and  .settle  the  state. 

^  The  knight,  in  this  si)eech,  employs  more  Latin,  and  more 
nnCMUlh  phrases,  than  he  usually  does.  In  this  line  he  means — 
though  every  nose  do  not  smell  it.  The  character  of  liis  lan- 
guage was  given  before  in  the  ninety-tirst,  and  some  following 
Uites. 


r  *NTO  I  ]  IIUDIBRAS  71 

And  deep  design  in't  to  divide 

Tiio  well-afFected  that  confide, 

IJ}'  setting  biotlicr  against  brother,  14' 

To  claw  and  curry  one  anotiier. 

iFavo  we  not  enemies  phis  satis, 

That  cane  et  angue  pejus*  hate  us  ? 

And  siiall  we  turn  our  fangs  and  claws 

Ttljion  our  own  selves,  without  cause?  75(1 

Tliat  some  occult  design  doth  lie 

In  bloody  cynarctomachy,"! 

Is  plain  enough  to  him  that  knows 

How  saints  lead  brothers  by  the  nose. 

I  wish  myself  a  pseudo-propiiet,t  755 

But  sure  some  mischief  will  come  of  it. 

Unless  by  providential  wit, 

Or  force,  we  averruncale§  it. 

For  what  design,  what  interest, 

Can  beast  have  to  encounter  beast?  700 

l^iey  figlit  for  no  espoused  cause, 

Frail  privilege,  fundamental  laws,|| 

*  A  proverbial  saying,  used  by  Horace,  expressive  of  a  biJtci 
av-ersion,  The  punishment  for  parricide  among  the  Romans 
was,  to  be  put  into  a  saclt  with  a.  snal^e,  a  dog,  and  un  ape,  and 
thrown  into  the  river. 

t  Cynarctomnchy  is  compounded  of  three  Greek  words,  signi- 
fying a  light  between  ddgs  and  Ijoars.  Tlie  perfect  Diurnal  of 
some  passages  of  Parliament  fnini  July  24  to  ,Iuly  ^1,  1U43,  No. 
4,  gives  an  account  how  the  Ciueen  brought  from  Holland  "be- 
sides a  company  of  savage  ruffians  a  company  of  savage  bears;" 
Colonel  Cromwell  finding  the  [jeople  of  Uppingham,  in  Itutland- 
shire,  l)aiting  them  on  the  Lord's  day,  and  in  the  height  of  their 
sport,  caused  tlie  bears  to  be  seized,  tied  to  a  tree,  and  shot. 
We  tax'd  you  round — sixpence  the  pound. 
And  massacred  your  beats hoijal  Songs. 

t  That  is,  a  false  prophet. 

4  Jloerruncatc,  means  no  more  than  eradicate,  or  pluck  up. 

(l  The  following  lines  recite  the  grounds  on  which  the  parlia- 
ment began  the  war  against  the  king,  and  justified  their  pro- 
ceedings afterwards.  He  calls  the  privileges  of  parliament  frail, 
liecause  tliey  were  so  very  apt  to  complain  of  their  being  broken 
Whatever  the  king  did,  or  refused  to  do,  contrary  to  the  senti 
inents,  and  unsuitable  to  the  designs  of  parliament,  they  voted 
presently  a  bretich  of  their  privilege:  his  dissenting  to  any  ol 
the  bills  they  offiTed  him  was  a  breach  of  privilege  :  his  pro- 
claiming them  traitors,  who  were  in  arms  against  him,  was  a  high 
breach  of  their  urivilege  :  and  the  conunons  at  last  voted  It  a 
breach  of  privilege  for  the  house  of  lords  to  refuse  assent  to  any 
thin;;  that  came  from  the  lower  house. 

B()lh  llie  English  and  the  Scotch,  from  the  beginning  of  the 
war,  avouched  that  their  whole  proceedings  were  according  to 
the  fundamental  laws;  by  which  they  meant  not  any  statutes 
or  laws  in  being,  but  their  own  sense  of  the  constitution.  Thus, 
Uter  the  king's  death,  the  Dutch  ambassadors  were  told,  thai 


7j>  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  l 

Nor  for  a  thorough  reformation, 

Nor  covenant,  nor  protestation,* 

Nor  libert)'  of  conscii'nces,t  76£ 

Nor  lords'  and  commons'  ordinances  ;t 

Nor  for  the  church,  nor  for  church-lands, 

To  get  them  in  their  own  no  hands  ;^ 

Nor  evil  counsellers  to  bring 

To  justice,  that  seduce  the  King;  '70 

Nor  for  the  woi-ship  of  us  men, 

Tho'  wo  have  done  as  mucli  for  them. 

Tir  Egyptians  worshipped  dogs,  and  for 

Their  faith  made  fierce  and  zealous  \var.|| 

Others  ador'd  a  rat,  and  some  775 

For  that  clmrcli  sufFer'd  martyrdom. 

The  Indians  fought  for  the  truth 

Of  th'  elephant  and  monkey's  tootli  ;1T 

And  many,  to  defend  that  faith, 

Fought  it  out  mordicus  to  death  ;**  780 

But  no  beast  ever  was  so  shght,tt 

For  man,  as  for  his  god  to  figiit. 

They  have  more  wit,  alas !  and  know 

Themselves  and  us  better  than  so : 

But  we  who  only  do  infuse  783 

The  rage  in  them  like  boute-feus,tt 


what  the  parliament  had  done  against  the  king  was  according 
to  the  fundamental  laws  of  this  nation  which  were  best  known 
to  themselves. 

*  The  protestalinn  was  a  solemn  vow  or  resolution  entered 
into,  and  subscribed,  the  first  year  of  the  long  parliament. 

t  The  early  ediiii)ns  have  it  free  liberty  of  conscirnces :  and 
this  reading  Bishop  Warburton  approves;  "  free  liberty"  being, 
as  he  thinks,  a  satirical  periphrasis  for  licentiousness,  which  is 
v.iiat  the  author  here  hints  at. 

t  An  ordinance  (says  Cleveland,  p.  109)  is  a  law  still-horn. 
dri>i)t  before  quickened  by  the  royal  assent.  'Tis  one  of  the 
p  irliament's  by-blows,  acts  only  being  legitimate,  and  hath  no 
more  tire  than  a  Spanish  gennet,  that  is  begotten  by  the  wind. 

$  Suppose  we  read.  To  get  them  into  their  own  hands.  [Mr 
Nash  is  wrong — no  hands  here  means  pnics.] 

II  See  the  beginning  of  the  fifteenth  satire  of  Juvenal. 

If  'J'he  inhabitants  of  Cc-ylon  and  Siam  are  saiil  to  have  had 
in  their  temples,  as  objects  of  worship,  the  teeth  of  monkey's  and 
of  elejihants.  The  Portuguese,  out  of  zeal  for  the  Christian 
n^liiiion,  destroyed  these  idols  ;  and  the  Siamese  are  said  to  have 
(.lU-red  700,000  ducats  to  redeem  a  monkey's  tooth  which  they 
had  long  worshipped.  Le  Blanc's  Travels,  and  Herbert's  Trav- 
els. Martinus  Scriblerus,  of  the  Origin  of  Sciences,  Swift's 
uorks. 

**  Mordictis,  valiantly,  tooth  and  nail. 

ft  That  is,  so  weak,  so  silly. 

%X  Makers  of  mischief,  exciters  of  seditioH 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  79 

'Tis  our  example  tliat  instils 

In  tlicin  llio  infection  of  our  ills. 

For,  as  sonic  late  philosophers 

Have  well  observ'd,  beasts  thai  converse  790 

With  man  take  after  him,  as  hogs 

Get  pigs  all  tli'  year,  and  bitches  dogs.* 

Just  so,  by  our  e.\ainplp,  cattle 

Learn  to  give  one  another  battle. 

We  read,  in  Nero's  time,  liie  Heathen,  793 

When  they  destroyed  the  Christian  brethren, 

They  sew'd  them  in  the  skins  of  bears, 

And  then  set  dogs  about  their  ears; 

From  whence,  no  doubt,  th'  invention  came 

Of  this  leyyd  antichristian  game.  800 

To  this,  quoth  Italplio,  verily 
Tbc  point  seems  very  plain  to  me  ; 
It  is  an  antichrit^tian  game, 
Unlawful  both  ni  Uiing  and  narpQ.  ^^ 

First,  for  the  name:  the  word  bea^r-baiting_  8C5 

Is  carnal,  and  of  inan's  cTcating  ;     "^ 
For  certainly  there's  no  such  word 
In  all  the  Scripture  on^recj)r4; 
Thereforeunlawfuli  and  a  sin  ;t 


*  This  fiiculty  is  not  unfrequently  instanced  l)y  the  ancients, 
to  show  tho  superior  e.vccllcnce  of  iiiankind.  Xenoplion,  Mem. 
i.  4,  13.  A  Roman  lady  seems  to  have  been  of  tlie  same  opinion. 
'•  I'opulia,  RIarci  filia,  miranti  cuidam  quid  esset  quapropter  ali<e 
"  bcsiia;  nunquam  marem  desiderarenl  nisi  cum  praeynantes  vel- 
'' lent  fieri,  respondit,  bestiiC  enim  fuiil."  Macrob.  Saturn,  lib. 
ii.  cap.  5.  Vide  etiam  Just.  Lipsii.  Kpist.  Qiui'st.  lib.  v.  epist.  3, 
et  Andream  Laurent,  lib.  viii.  Hist.  Anatom.  Quipst.  'i-2,  ubi 
causas  adducit  cur  bruta;  gravida;  marem  non  adndttunt,  ut  inter 
homines  mulier. 

t  Some  of  (he  disci[)Iinarians  hold,  that  the  Scriptures  were 
full  and  express  on  every  subject,  and  that  every  thing  was  sin- 
ful, which  was  not  there  ordered  to  be  done.  Some  of  the  Hu- 
guenots refused  to  pay  rent  to  their  landlords,  unless  they  would 
produce  a  te.vt  of  Scripture  dircclins;  them  to  do  so. 

At  a  meeting  of  Cartwright,  Tnivers,  and  other  dissenting 
ministers  in  London,  it  was  resolved,  tliat  such  names  as  did 
savor  either  of  Paganism  or  Popery  should  not  be  used,  but  only 
Scripture  names;  accordingly  Snape  refused  to  baptize  a  child 
by  the  name  of  Richard. 

They  formed  popular  arguments  for  deposing  and  murdering 
kings,  from  the  examples  of  Saul,  Agag,  Jeroboam,  Jehoran,  and 
the  like. 

This  reminds  mo  of  a  story  I  have  heard,  and  which,  perhaps. 
IS  recorded  among  .loe  Miller's  Jests,  of  a  countryman  going 
along  the  street,  in  the  time  of  Cromwell,  and  inquiring  the  way 
to  St.  Anne's  churcli — the  person  inquired  of,  happening  to  he  a 
Presbyterian,  said,  he  knew  no  such  person  as  Saint  Anne;  ga- 
Ing  a  little  farther,  he  asked  another  mar  which  was  the  ivjiy  w 


74  ilUDIBRAS.  [Fart  i 

And  so  is,  second  y,  the  thing :  810 

A  vile  assembly  'tis,  that  can 

No  more  be  proved  by  Scripture,  than 

Provincial,  classic,  national  :* 

Mere  human  creature-cobwebs  all. 

Thirdly,  Lt >  idolatrous  ;  819 

For  when  men  nin  a-whoring  thus 

With  their  inventions,+  whatsoe'er 

The  thing  be,  whether  dog  or  bear, 

Ills  idolatrous  and  pagan, 

No  less  than  worshipping  of  Dagon.  8iW 

Quoth  Iludibras,  I  smell  a  rat ; 
Raipho  thou  dost  prevaricate  ; 
For  though  the  tliesis  which  thou  lay'st 
Be  true,  ad  amussim.t  as  thou  say'st ; 
For  the  bear-baiting  should  appear,  82S 

Jure  divino,  lawfullcr 
Than  synods  are,  thou  dost  deny, 
Totidem  verbis — so  do  I ; 
Yet  there's  a  fallacy  in  this  ; 

Forif  by  sLy  liomaiosis,§  830 

Tbou  wouldst  sophisticallj  imply 
Both  are  unlawful — I  deny. 

And  I,  quoth  Raipho,  do  not  doubt 
But  beai  baiting  may  be  made  out. 
In  gospel-times,  as  lawful  as  is  835 

Provincial,  or  parochial  classis  ; 
And  that  both  are  so  near  of  kin, 


Anne's  church?  he  being  a  cavalier,  said,  Anne  was  a  Saint 
before  he  was  born,  and  would  be  after  he  was  hanged,  and  gave 
hijti  no  information. 

*  Kalpho  here  shows  his  independent  principles,  and  his  aver- 
siut.  to  the  I'resbylerian  forms  of  church  government.  If  the 
fi«|uire  h:id  adopted  the  kniirht's  sentiments,  this  curious  dispute 
could  not  have  been  introduced.  The  vile  assembly  here  means 
the  bear-baiting,  but  alludes  typically  to  the  assembly  of  divines. 

t  A  Scripture  phnise  used.     Psalm  cvi.  ver.  38. 

i  K.xactly  true,  and  according  to  rule. 

f  Tha  t  is,  an  explanation  of  a  thins  by  something  resembling  it 

At  this  place  two  lines  are  omitted  in  several  editions,  particn 
kirly  in  those  corrected  by  tlic  author.    They  run  thus : 
Tussis  pro  crepilu,  an  art 
Under  a  cough  to  slur  a  f— rt. 

The  edition  of  1704  lias  leplactd  them:  they  were  omitted  in 
the  poet's  corrected  copy  ;  probably  he  thought  thciii  Indelicale: 
the  j)brase  is  translated  from  the  Greek. 

Bi){  dvTi  rop^^s.  i-i  riv  iv  inropiq  wpoaiiotufiiviav  irtpov  ri 
rpdTTttv.  Till)  oaov  oi  irip^'OVTC';  XavOdvuv  Trnpu^'voi,  irpoetit 
ovrTai  PiJTTeiv      Suidas  in  Voc. 


r;ANTo  I.]  IIUDIBRAS.  7(, 

And  like  in  all,  as  well  as  sin, 

That,  put  'cm  in  a  bag  and  shako  'em. 

Yourself  o'  tli'  sudden  would  mistake  'em,  g-W 

And  not  know  which  is  which,  unless 

You  measure  by  their  wickedness  ; 

For  'tis  not  hard  t'  imagine  whether 

O'  th'  two  is  worst,  the'  I  name  neither 

Quoth  Hudibras,  Thou  oflcr'st  much,  84C 

But  art  not  able  to  keep  touch. 
Mira  de  Icnte,*  as  'tis  i'  the  adage. 
Id  est,  to  make  a  leek  a  cabbage  ; 
Thou  canst  at  best  but  overstrain 
A  paradox,  and  th'  own  hot  brain ;  850 

For  what  can  synods  have  at  all 
With  bear  that's  analogicjd? 
jTrwTTat  relation  lias  debating 
l)f  church-aiVairs  with  bcar-baijing? 
A  just  comparison  stillTs  855 

Of  things  ejusdem  generis  ; 
And  then  wliat  genus  rightly  doth 
Include  and  comprehend  them  both? 
If  animal,  both  of  us  may 

As  justly  pass  for  bears  as  they ;  (360 

For  we  are  animals  no  less, 
Although  of  difT'rent  spccieses.t 
But,  Ralpho,  this  is  no  fit  place. 
Nor  time,  to  argue  out  the  case : 
For  now  the  field  is  not  far  of!',  865 

Where  we  must  give  the.  world  a  proof 
Of  deeds,  not  words,  and  such  as  suit 
Another  manner  of  dispute ; 
A  controversy  that  affords 

Actions  for  arguments,  not  words ;  B70 

Which  we  must  manage  at  a  rate 
( )f  prowess,  and  conduct  adequate 
To  what  our  place  and  fame  doth  promise, 
And  all  the  godly  expect  from  us. 
Nor  shall  they  be  deceiv'd,  unless  675 


*  Atii'd  irtpl  ipaxfjs  :  A  great  stir  about  nothing. 
Great  cry  and  liule  Wdol,  as  they  say  when  any  one  talks 
niuch,  and  proves  nothing.    The  following  lines  stand  thus,  in 
some  editions,  viz. : 

Thou  wilt  at  best  but  suck  a  buK. 
Or  sheer  swine,  all  cry,  and  no  wool. 

\  Why  should  we  not  read,  Allhough  of  different  specioal 
Bo  also  in  Part  ii.  Canto  iii.  v.  317. 


•76  HUDIBRAS.  fPiRT  i 

W  are  slurred  and  outed  by  success  ; 

Success,  the  mark  no  mortal  wit, 

Or  surest  hand  can  always  hit : 

For  whatsoe'er  we  perpetrate, 

We  do  but  row,  w'  are  steer'd  by  fate,*  080 

Wlilcli  in  success  oft  disinherits, 

For  spurious  causes,  noblest  merits. 

Great  actions  are  not  always  true  sons 

Of  great  and  mighty  resolutions  ; 

Nor  do  the  bold'st  attempts  bring  forth  88;^ 

Events  still  equal  to  their  worth  ; 

But  sometimes  fail,  and  in  their  stead 

Fortune  and  cowardice  succeed. 

Yet  we  have  no  great  cause  to  doubt. 

Our  actions  still  have  borne  us  out ;  890 

Which,  tlio'  they're  known  to  be  so  ample 

We  need  not  copy  from  e.xamplc  ; 

We're  not  the  only  persons  durst 

Attempt  this  province,  nor  the  first. 

In  northern  clime  a  val'rous  knight"!  8M 

Did  whilom  kill  his  bear  in  fight. 

And  wound  a  fiddler:  we  have  both 

Of  these  the  objects  of  our  wroth, 

And  equal  fame  and  glory  from 

Th'  attempt,  or  victory  to  come.  9iw 

'Tis  sung,  there  is  a  valiant  Mamaluke 

lu  foreign  land,  yclep'd 1 

*  The  Presbyterians  were  strons  fatalists,  and  great  advocates 
"or  predestination.    Virgil  says,  JEn.  is.  1.  95: 

O  genctri.x ;  quo  fata  vocas  1  ant  quid  petis  istis  ? 
Moruiline  inanu  facta;  iinmortale  carintE 
Fas  haoeanf? 

t  Hudibras  encourages  himself  by  two  precedents;  first,  that 
Df  a  gentleman  wlio  killed  a  l)ear  and  wounded  a  tiddler;  and 
secondly,  that  of  Sir  Samuel  Luke,  who  had  often,  as  a  magis- 
trate, been  engaged  in  similar  adventures.  He  was  proud  tu  re- 
semble the  one  in  this  particular  e.xploit,  and  the  other  in  his 
general  character. 

There  were  several,  in  those  days,  who,  like  Sir  Hudibras,  set 
themselves  violently  to  oppose  bear-bailing.  Oliver  Cromwell 
is  said  to  have  shot  several  bears ;  and  the  same  is  said  of 
Colonel  Pride.  See  note  ante,  ver.  752,  and  Harleian  Miscellany, 
vol.  iii.  p.  132. 

t  The  break  is  commonly  filled  up  with  the  name  of  Sir  Sam- 
uel Luke.  See  the  note  at  line  14.  The  word  Mamluck  signifies 
acquired,  possessed  :  and  the  Maudukcs  or  Mamalukes  were 
persons  carried  off,  in  their  childhood,  by  merchants  or  banditti, 
from  Georgia,  Circassia,  Natolia,  and  the  various  provinces  of 
the  Ottoman  empire,  and  afterwards  sold  in  Constantinople  and 
Krand  Cairo.    'J"he  grandees  of  Egypt,  who  had  a  similar  ori 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  79 

To  wliom  we  luive  been  oft  coinpar'd 

For  person,  parts,  address,  and  beard  ; 

Both  equally  reputed  stout,  DOS 

And  iu  the  same  cause  botli  have  fouglit  : 

He  ot't,  iu  sucli  attempts  as  these, 

(^anie  oti' with  glory  and  success  : 

Nor  will  we  fail  iu  th'  execution, 

For  want  of  equal  resolution.  01(1 

Honor  is,  like  a  widow,  won 

^\'ilh  brisk  attempt  and  puttinjr  on  ; 

With  eut'riug-  manfully  and  urging  ; 

Not  slow  approaches,  like  a  vinrin. 

This  said,  as  once  the  I'lirygiaa  knight,*  91S 

So  ours,  with  rusty  steel  did  smite 
His  Trojan  horse,  and  just  as  mucli 
He  mended  pace  upon  the  touch  ; 
But  from  his  empty  stomach  groan'd, 
Just  as  that  hollow  beast  did  somid.  920 

And,  angry,  answer'd  from  behind. 
With  brandish'd  tail  and  blast  of  wind. 
So  have  I  seen,  with  armed  heel, 
A  wigiit  bestride  a  Common-weal,+ 
While  still  the  more  he  kick'd  and  spurr'd,  !I25 

The  less  the  sullen  jade  has  stirred. t 


gin,  bring  thcni  up  in  their  houses.  They  often  rise  first  to  be 
cachets  or  lieutenants,  and  then  to  l)e  beys  or  petty  tyrants. 
Volney's  Travels.  Thu<,  in  the  English  civil  wars,  many  rose 
from  the  lowest  rank  in  lite  to  considcriible  power. 

*  Laoconn  ;  who,  at  the  siege  of  Troy,  struck  tlic  wooden 
horse  with  his  spear — 

Sic  fatus,  validis  ingentem  viribus  haslnni 
In  latus  inque  feri  curvani  conipagibus  alvum 
Contorsit:  stelit  ilia  tremens,  utenniue  recusso 
Insonuere  cava;  gemitumqiie  dedcre  cavern.T. 

yirg.  JKiicid.  ii.  50. 

t  Our  poet  might  possibly  have  in  mind  a  print  engraven  in 
)lolland.  It  represented  a  cow,  the  emblem  of  the  Common 
wealth,  with  the  king  of  Spain  on  her  buck  kicking  and  spurring 
her;  the  queen  of  England  before,  stopjiing  and  feeding  her; 
the  prince  of  Orange  milking  her;  and  the  dukeof  Anjuu  behind 
pulling  her  back  by  the  tail.  Heylin's  Cosniog.  After  the 
Spaniards,  in  a  war  of  forty  years,  had  spent  a  liiindred  millions 
of  crowns,  and  had  Inst  four  hundred  thousand  men,  they  were 
forced  to  acknowledge  the  indei)endenco  of  the  Dutch  provinces, 
and  conclude  a  peace  with  them  :  yet,  strange  to  tell,  another 
nation  did  not  grow  wise  by  this  example. 

t  Mr.  Butler  had  been  witness  to  the  refractory  hnninr  of  tlio 
nation,  not  only  under  the  weak  government  of  Richard  Crotii 
well,  but  in  many  instances  under  the  more  adroit  and  resolute 
nianagenient  of  Oliver     Both  father  and  son  have  l)een  com 


78  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  i 

pared  to  Ihe  riders  of  a  restive  horse  by  some  loyal  songsters 
the  following  lines  probably  allude  to  Oliver: — 

Nol,  a  rank  rider,  got  f:ist  in  the  saddle, 

And  made  her  shew  tricks,  and  curvet  and  rebound: 
She  quickly  jierceived  he  rode  widdle  waddle, 

And  like  his*  coach-horse  threw  liis  highness  to  ground 
Then  Dick,  being  lame,  rode  holding  the  pummel, 

Not  having  the  wit  to  get  hold  of  the  rein  : 
But  the  jade  did  so  snort  at  the  sight  of  a  Cromwell, 

That  poor  Dick  and  his  kindred  turned  footmen  again. 
See  the  Collection  of  Loyal  Songs,  reprinted  1731,  vol.  ii.  p.  281 

*  This  alludeE  to  an  accident  that  beTell  the  Protector,  S:?pt.  S9,  who  mun 
'icetl«  drive  liiii  ccach  liimsoll'  the  horses  ran  atrar,  sou  ctu«w  aim  omouftt 
ttea,  vhcicbv  lie  vm  iii  iireat  doncux 


PART  1      rANTO  TI- 
THE ARGUMENT. 

1  IK  catalogue  and  cliaracter 

Oi  th'  enemies'  best  men  of  war.* 

M'hom,  in  a  bold  harangue,  the  Knight 

Dffies,  and  challenges  to  fight: 

ir  encounters  Talgol,  routs  the  Bear, 

And  takes  the  Fiddler  prisoner, 

Conveys  iiini  to  enchanted  castle, 

There  shuts  him  fast  in  wooden  Uastilo. 


♦  Riiller's  description  of  tlic  combatants  resembles  (he  list  of 
warriors  in  the  Iliad  and  AIneid,  and  especially  the  lahnreo 
characters  in  the  Theimn  war,  bi)th  in  ^schylus  and  Einipidea 
fJeptem  ad  Thebas  v  383 ;  ketiil.  v.  3U2  ;  IMioenis.  v.  1139. 


H  U  D  I  B  R  A  S  . 


CANTO  JI. 

^     ^  There  was  an  ancient  sage  philosopfiei 
1  n  That  had  read  Ale\ai)der  Ross  over,* 

And  swore  the  world,  as  he  could  prove, 
Was  made  of  fightinff,  and  of  love. 
Just  so  romances  are,  for  what  else 
Is  in  them  all  but  love  and  battles  ?t 


*  Empedocles,  a  Pylhajiorean  philosopher  and  pnet,  htid,  that 
friendship  and  discord  were  principles  which  regulated  the  four 
elements  that  compose  the  universe.  The  first  occasioned  their 
coalition,  the  second  their  separation,  or,  in  the  poet's  own 
words,  (preserved  in  Dio^en.  Laert.  edit.  Meibom.  vol.  i.  p.  53fl,) 

" kWoTt  iifv  (jtiXdriiTi  cuvEpxiJuti''  £(S  ev  aTTtivra, 

'AXAorc  6'  ai  iix   'iKaara  <popiVjiiva  vclxeoi  ix^ti. 

Pee  more  in  Mer.  Casaulmn's  note  on  the  passage. 

The  preat  anachronism  increases  the  humour.     Emiiedoclcs, 

the  philosopher  here  alluded  to,  lived  about  2100  years  before 

Alexander  Ross. 

"  Agrifreiitinum  quidem,  doctum  quendam  virum,  carniinibus 
"prxcis  vaticinalum  f<-runt :  qua?  in  rerum  natura,  totoque  mun 
'•do  constarent,  quieque  moverentur,  ea  contrahere  aniicitiani, 
"  dissipare  discordiam."    Cicero  de  AinicitiA. 

The  Spectator,  No.  60,  says,  he  lias  heard  these  lines  of  Hudi- 
bras  more  frequently  quoted  than  the  finest  pieces  of  wit  in  the 
whole  poem  : — the  jingle  of  the  double  rhime  has  something  in 
it  that  tickles  the  ear.     Ale.vander  Ross  was  a  very  voluminous 
writer,  and  chaplain  to  Charles  the  First;  but  most  of  his  books 
were  written  in  the  reign  of  James  the  First,     lie  answered  Sir 
Thomas  Brown's  Pseudo.\ia  and  Religio  Medici,  under  the  title 
of  Mcdicus  Medicatus. 
t  Mr.  Butler,  in  his  MS.  Common-place  Book,  says, 
Love  and  fighting  is  the  sum 
Of  all  romances,  from  Tom  Thumb 
To  Arthur,  Gondibert,  and  lludibras. 
Of  lovers,  the  poet  in  his  MS.  says, 

Lovers,  like  wrestlers,  when  they  do  not  lay 
Their  hold  below  the  girdle,  use  fair  play. 
He  adds  in  prose — Although  Love  is  said  to  overcome  all 
things,  yet  at  long-run,  there  is  nothing  almost  that  does  not 
overcome  Love  ;  whereby  it  seems,  Love  does  not  know  how  to 
use  its  victory. 


Canto  11.]  IIUDIBllAS.  91 

O'  th'  first  of  tlieso  w'  liavo  no  great  raattct 

To  treat  of,  but  a  world  o'  tli'  hiUcr, 

III  wliicli  to  do  the  injur'd  rifflit, 

We  mean  in  what  concerns  just  fight.  JC 

Certcs,  our  Authors  are  to  blame, 

For  to  nuiko  some  well-sounding  name* 

A  pattern  fit  for  modern  knights 

To  copy  out  in  frays  and  fights. 

Like  those  that  do  a  whole  struct  raze,t  1.1 

To  build  another  in  the  place  ; 

They  never  care  how  many  others 

They  kill,  without  regard  of  mothers,t 

Or  wives,  or  children,  so  they  can 

IMake  up  some  fierce,  dead-doing  mau,§  20 

Compos'd  of  many  ingredient  valours. 

Just  like  the  manhood  of  nine  tailors: 

So  a  wild  Tartar, II  when  he  spies 

A  man  that's  luuidsome,  valiant,  wise, 

If  he  can  kill  him,  thinks  t'  inherit  3o 

His  wit,  his  beauty,  and  his  spirit ; 

As  if  just  so  mucli  he  cnjoy'd, 

As  in  another  is  destroy 'd  : 

For  when  a  giant's  slain  in  fight, 

And  mow'd  o'erthwart,  or  cleft  downright,  30 

It  is  a  heavy  case,  no  doubt, 

A  man  should  have  his  brains  beat  out. 

Because  he's  tall,  and  has  large  bones, 

As  men  kill  beavers  for  their  stones.lT 

*  rXavKdv  T£,  Mi'^oira'  TC,  QcpaiXoxi^v  Tt. — Homer.  17.  216. 
Copied  exactly  by  Virfiil.    Mn.  vi.  4a3. 

GliUiciunquc,  Medontaque,  Thcrsilochvniuiue. 
This  is  iiiiilatcd  in  all  tlie  romances  of  our  author's  time, 
t  Alluding  to  the  Protector  Somerset,  who,  in  the  reign  of  Ed- 
ward VI.,  pulled  down  two  diurches,  part  of  St.  Pau''.s,  and 
Uiree  bishop's  houses,  to  build  Somerset  llouse  in  the  Strand. 

X  bellaque  niatribus 

Iletestata Hor.  b.  i.  od.  i. 

J  Thus  r.eaumont  and  Fletcher — "  .Stay  thy  dead-doing  hand." 
In  Carazan,  a  province  to  the  norih-east  of  Tartary,  Dr. 
Heylin  says,  "  they  have  an  use,  when  any  stranger  comes  into 
■"their  houses  of  an  handsome  shape,  to  kill  him  in  the  night; 
"not  out  of  desire  of  spoil,  or  to  eat  his  body ;  but  that  the  soul 
'  of  such  a  comely  person  might  remain  among  tlicm." 

IT  That  beavers  bite  off  their  testicles  is  a  vulgar  error:  but 
what  is  here  implied  is  true  enough,  namely,  that  the  testes,  ol 
Ibeir  capsula;,  furnish  a  medicinal  drug  of  value. 

iniitatus  castora  qui  se 

Eunuchum  ipse  tacit,  cupiens  evadcre  damno 
Testiculorum  ;  adeo  nicdicatum  intelllgit  inguen. 

Juvenal.     Sat.  xii.  1.  34 


92  IILDIBRAS.  [Parti 

But,  as  for  our  part,  we  shall  tell  3.1 

The  naked  truth  of  what  befell, 

And  as  an  equal  friend  to  both 

The  Kuisiht  and  Bear,  but  more  to  troth  ;* 

With  neither  faction  shull  take  part, 

But  give  to  each  a  due  desert,  40 

And  never  coin  a  formal  lie  on't. 

To  make  the  Kuigiit  o'ercome  the  giant 

This  b'ing  profest,  we've  hopes  enough. 

And  now  go  on  where  we  left  off. 

They  rode,  but  authors  ha^^Ilg  not  44 

Determined  whether  pace  or  trot, 
That  is  to  say,  whether  tollutation, 
As  they  do  ternit,  or  succussation,t 
We  leave  it,  and  go  on,  as  now 

Suppose  they  did,  no  matter  how ;  5C 

Yet  some,  from  subtle  hints,  have  got 
Mysterious  light  it  was  a  trot : 
But  let  that  pass ;  they  now  begun 
To  spur  their  living  engines  on: 

For  as  wliipp'd  tof>s  and  bandyd  balls,  S5 

The  learned  hold,  are  animals  :! 
So  horses  they  afEnn  to  be 
Mere  engines  made  by  geometry. 
And  were  invented  first  from  eugiues, 
As  Indian  Britaius  were  from  Penguins.^  GU 


*  "Amiens  Socntes,  arnicas  Plato,  sed  magis  amici  Veritas" 

t  Tollul;iiion  is  pacing,  or  ambling,  moving  per  latera,  as  Sir 
Thomas  Brown  says,  that  is,  lifiing  both  legs  of  one  side  togeth- 
er— Succussation.  or  trotting,  that  is,  lifting  one  foot  before,  and 
the  cross  foot  l)ehind. 

;  The  atomic  pliilosophers,  Democritns,  Epicnrus.  &c.,  and 
some  of  the  moderns  likewise,  as  Des  Cartes,  Hobbes,  and  oth- 
ers, will  not  allow  animals  to  have  a  spontaneous  and  living 
principle  in  them,  but  maintain  that  life  and  sensation  are  gen- 
erated out  of  matter,  from  the  contexture  of  atoms,  or  some  pe- 
culiar composition  of  magnitudes,  figures,  sites,  and  motions, 
and  consequently  that  they  are  nothing  but  Ii>cal  motion  and 
mechanism.  By  which  argument  lops  and  balls,  whilst  they 
are  in  motion,  seem  to  be  as  much  animated  as  dogs  and  horses. 
Mr.  Boyle,  in  his  E.v()eriments,  printed  in  lt».VJ.  observes  how 
like  animals  (men  excepted)  are  to  mechanical  instruments. 

^  This  is  meant  to  burlesque  the  idea  of  Mr.  Selden,  and  oth- 
prs.  that  America  had  formerly  been  discovered  by  the  Britons 
tr  Welsh  ;  which  they  had  inferred  from  the  similarity  of  some 
Kord-i  in  the  two  languages ;  Penguin,  the  name  of  a  bird,  with 
a  white  head  in  America,  in  British  signifies  a  white  rock.  Mr 
2?Hen.  in  his  note  on  Drayton's  Polyolbion,  says,  that  Madoc, 
brother  to  David  apOwen,  prince  of  vVales,  made  a  sea  voyago 
to  Florida,  about  the  year  1170. 

David  Powell,  in  hi's  history  of  Wales,  reporteth  that  one  Mo- 


Canto  ii.]  ilUDIBRAS.  83 

So  let  them  be,  and,  as  I  was  sayiujj. 

They  tlieir  live  engines  ply'd,*  not  staying 

Until  tlicy  reacli'd  the  fatal  champaign 

Which  til'  enemy  did  then  encamp  on  ; 

The  dire  Piiarsaiiun  plain, t  where  battle  m 

Was  to  be  wag'd  'twixt  puissant  cattle, 

And  fierce  auxiliary  men, 

That  came  to  aid  their  brethren  :t 

Who  now  began  to  take  the  field. 

As  knigiit  from  ridge  of  steed  beiield.  70 

For,  as  our  modern  wits  behold, 

Mounted  a  pick-back  on  the  old,§ 

Much  farther  off,  much  farther  he 

Rais'd  on  his  aged  beast,  could  sec  ; 

Yet  not  sufficient  to  descry  :5 

All  postures  of  the  enemy: 

Wherefore  he  bids  the  squire  ride  further, 

T'  observe  their  numbers,  and  their  order  ; 

That  when  their  motions  tiiey  had  known, 

He  might  know  how  to  fit  his  own.  £0 

Meanwhile  he  stopp'd  his  willing  steed, 

To  fit  himself  for  martial  deed  : 

Both  kinds  of  metal  he  prepar'd 

Either  to  give  blows,  or  to  ward  ; 

doc,  son  of  Owen  Gwinedsh,  prince  of  Wales,  some  hundred 
years  before  CoUimlius  discovered  the  West  Indies,  sailed  into 
those  parts  and  planted  a  colony.  The  simile  runs  thus  ;  horses 
are  said  to  lie  inventtd  from  engines,  and  things  without  sense 
and  reason,  as  Welshmen  are  said  to  have  sailed  to  the  Indies; 
both  upon  the  like  gmunils,  and  with  as  much  probability. 

My  worthy  and  ingenious  friend  Mr.  I'ennant.  though  zealous 
for  the  honor  of  his  native  country,  yet  cannot  allow  his  coun- 
trymen the  merit  of  having  sailed  to  Ainerica  before  the  time  (A 
Columbus:  the  proper  name  of  these  birds,  saith  he,  (I'hilosoph. 
Transactions,  vol.  Iviii.  p.  9l5,)  is  Tinguin,  propter  pingucdinctii, 
on  account  of  their  fatness:  it  his  been  corrupted  to  I'enguen- 
so  that  some  have  imagined  it  a  Welsh  word,  signifying  a  white 
head:  besi<lcs,  the  two  species  of  birds  that  frequent  America 
under  that  name,  have  b^ack  heads,  not  white  ones. 

Our  poet  rejoices  in  an  opportunity  of  laughing  at  his  old 
friend  .Selden,  and  ridiculins  some  of  his  eccentric  netions. 

*  That  is,  Hudibras  and  his  Squire  spurred  their  horses. 

t  Alluding  to  I'harsalia,  where  Julius  Caisar  gained  his  signa. 
victoiy. 

t  The  last  word  is  lengthened  into  bretheren,  for  metre  sake 

$  Ridiculing  the  disputes  formerly  subsisting  between  the  ad- 
vocates for  ancient  and  modern  learning.  Sir  Wdliam  Temple 
observes:  that  as  to  knowledge,  the  moderns  must  have  more 
than  the  ancients,  because  they  hive  the  advantage  buth  of 
theirs  and  their  own  :  which  is  commonly  illustrated  by  a  dwarf 
standing  upon  a  giant's  shoulders,  and  therefore  seeing  more 
kcd  further  than  the  giant. 


84  IIUDIBRAS.  [Pari  : 

Courage  and  steel,  both  of  great  force,  81 

Prepar'd  for  belter,  or  for  worse. 

His  death-cliarg'd  ])istols  he  did  fit  well, 

Drawn  out  liom  life-piesen'ing  vittie  ;* 

These  being  prini"d  with  force  he  laDor'd 

To  free's  blade  from  retentive  scabbard  ;  00 

And  after  many  a  painful  pluck, 

From  rusty  durance  he  bail'd  tuck  : 

Then  shook  himself,  to  see  what  prowess 

In  scabbard  of  his  arms  sat  loose  ; 

And,  rais'd  upon  his  desp'rate  foot,  95 

On  stirruj)-sido  he  gaz'd  about,t 

Portending  blood,  like  blazing  star. 

The  beacon  of  approaching  war-t 

The  Sqjjre  advanc'd  with  greater  speed 

Than  could  b'  expected  from  his  steed  ;§  100 

Kut  far  more  in  returning  made  ; 

For  now  the  foe  he  had  survey'd, 

Rang"d,  as  to  him  they  did  appear, 

With  van,  main  battle,  wings,  and  rear. 

I'  th'  head  of  all  this  warlike  rabble,  105 

Crowdero  march'd  expert  and  able.|| 

Instead  of  trumpet,  and  of  drum, 

That  makes  the  warrior's  stomach  come, 

Whose  noise  whets  valor  sharp,  like  beer 

By  thunder  turn'd  to  vinegar  ;  110 

For  if  a  trumpet  sound,  or  drum  beat. 

Who  has  not  a  month's  mind  to  combat  ? 


*  The  reailw  will  remember  how  the  holsters  were  furnished. 

The  antithesis  between  death-charged  pistols,  and  life-prcserv 
ing  vittie  is  :i  kind  of  fijiure  much  used  by  Sliakspeare,  and  the 
yoets  before  Mr.  Butler's  time ;  very  frequently  by  Butler  him 
self. 

t  It  api^ar-!  from  c.  i.  v.  407,  that  he  had  but  one  stirrup. 

X  Diri  comcti,  quidni  ■?  quia  crudelia  atque  imiiiania,  famein 
l>»lla,  clades,  ca;des,  morbos,  eversiones  uriiiuui,  rcgionum  vasti 
to'es,  heminuui  interitus  portendere  creduntur. 

^  lu  socie  editions  we  read, 

Ralpho  rode  on  with  no  less  speed. 
Than  Hugo  in  the  forest  did. 

T7u20  was  aid-de-camp  to  Gondibert.     B.  I  c.  ii.  St.  66. 

II  This  is  said,  by  Sir  Ro<ier  L'EstranL'e,  to  be  designed  for  one 
Jackson,  a  milliner,  who  lived  in  the  New  Kxchange  in  the 
Strand.  He  had  lost  a  leg  in  the  Parliament's  service,  and  went 
(bout  fiddling  from  one  ale-house  to  another:  but  Butler  does 
not  point  his  satire  at  such  low  game.  His  nickname  is  takes 
from  the  instrument  he  used:  Crowde,  tiddle,  crv>'lli,  fidicula,  in 
<he  British  language. 


Canto  ii.J  IIUDIBliAS  85 

A  sf]iioaking  engine  he  apply'd 

Unto  his  neclt,  on  north-east  side,* 

Just  where  tiie  liangnian  does  dispose,  115 

To  special  friends,  tlie  fatal  noose  : 

For  'tis  great  grace,  wiien  statesmen  striighl 

Dispatch  a  friend,  let  otiiers  wait.       , 

His  warped  ear  iiung  o'er  the  strings, 

Which  was  but  souse  to  chitterlings  :t  120 

For  guts,  some  write,  ere  they  are  sodden, 

Are  fit  for  music,  or  for  puddcn  ; 

From  whence  men  borrow  ev'ry  kind 

Of  minstrelsy,  by  string  or  wind. 

His  grisly  beard  was  long  and  thick,  125 

With  which  he  strung  his  fiddle-stick  ; 

For  he  to  horse-tail  scorn'd  to  owe 

For  what  on  his  own  chin  did  grow. 

Chiron,  the  four-legg'd  ba'.  d,  had  both 

A  beard  and  tail  of  his  own  growth  ;  130 

And  yet  by  authors  'tis  averr'd. 

He  made  use  only  of  his  beard. 

In  StafTordshire,  where  virtuous  wortht 
Does  raise  the  minstrelsy,  not  birth  : 


*  It  is  difficult  to  say  why  Butler  culls  the  left  the  north-east 
side.  A  (VieiKl  of  Dr.  Gray's  supposes  it  to  iillude  to  the  manner 
of  burying;  the  feet  being  put  to  the  east,  the  left  si<ie  would 
be  to  the  north,  or  north-east.  Some  authors  have  asserted,  and 
Euseb.  Nuremberg,  a  learned  Jesuit,  in  partitulir,' that  the  body 
of  man  is  niMgnctical  ;  and  being  placed  in  a  bolt,  a  very  small 
one  we  must  suppose,  of  cork  or  leather,  will  nei'er  rest  till  the 
head  respectcth  the  north.  Paracelsus  had  also  a  microcosmiciti 
conceit  about  the  body  of  a  man,  dividing  and  dili'erencing  it  ac- 
cording to  the  cardinal  points  ;  making  the  f;ice  the  east,  the 
hack  the  west,  &c.,  of  this  microcosm  :  and  therefore,  workinj; 
upon  human  ordure,  and  by  long  preparation  rendering  it  odorif- 
erous, he  tern/s  it  Zibetta  occidentalis.  Now  in  either  of  these 
positions,  the  body  lying  along  on  its  back  with  its  head  towards 
the  north,  or  standing  upright  with  the  liice  towards  the  east, 
the  reader  vill  find  the  place  of  the  fiddle  on  the  left  breast  to  be 
due  northeast.  One,  or  both  of  these  conceits,  it  is  probable, 
our  poet  had  in  view  ;  and  very  likely  met  with  them,  as  I  have 
done,  in  a  book  entitled  Brown's  Vulgar  Errors,  b.  ii.  ch.  3. 

Ovid,  dividing  the  world  into  two  hcmis|d)eres,  calls  one  the 
right  hand,  and  the  other  the  left.  The  augurs  of  old,  in  Iheii 
[livinalions,  and  priests  in  their  sacrifices,  turned  their  faces  to- 
wards the  east;  in  which  posture  the  north,  being  the  left  hand, 
igrccs  exactly  with  the  position  in  which  Crowdero  would  hold 
his  fiddle. 

t  Souse  is  the  pig's  ear,  and  chitterlings  are  the  pig's  guts: 
the  former  alludes  to  Crowdero'sear,  which  lay  upon  the  (iddle; 
the  latter  to  the  strings  of  the  fiddle,  which  are  made  of  catgut. 

t  This  alludes  to  the  custom  of  bull-running  in  the  manor  of 
Tudbury  in  Staffordshire,  where  a  charter  is  granted  by  John  vt 


S6  IIUDIBRAS.  II'art 

Where  bulls  do  choose  the  boldest  king,  3." 

And  ruler  o'er  the  men  of  string, 

As  once  in  Persia,*  'Lis  said, 

Kings  were  proclaini'd  by  a  horse  that  neigh'd  ; 

He,  bravely  vent'ring  at  a  crown, 

IJy  chance  of.war  was  beaten  down,  140 

And  wounded  sore :  his  leg  then  broke. 

Had  got  a  deputy  of  oak  ; 

For  when  a  shin  in  figlit  is  cropt, 

The  knee  with  one  of  timber's  propt, 

Esteem'd  more  honorable  than  the  other,  145 

And  takes  place,  tiio'  the  younger  brother.t 

Next  march'd  brave  Orsin,t  famous  for 
Wise  conduct,  and  success  iu  war  ; 
A  skilful  leader,  stout,  severe. 

Now  marshal  to  the  champion  bear.  150 

With  truncheon  tipp'd  with  iron  head. 
The  warrior  to  the  lists  he  led  ; 
With  solemn  march,  and  stately  pace. 
But  far  more  grave  and  solemn  face  ; 
Grave  as  the  emperor  of  Pegu,  15s 

Or  Spanish  potentate,  Don  Diego.§ 
This  leader  was  of  knowledge  great. 
Either  for  charge,  or  for  retreat : 

Gaunt,  king  of  Castile  and  Leon,  and  duke  of  Lancaster,  (and 
ton  finned  by  inspcxiiiius  and  grant  of  Henry  VL,)  dated  20d  of 
August,  in  the  liiurlh  year  of  the  rei^'n  of  our  most  gracious 
(most  sweet,  ires  dulce)  king  Richard  II.,  (A.  D.  i:j81l,)  appoint- 
ing a  king  of  tie  minstrels  or  musicians,  (sive  histriones,)  who 
is  to  have  a  hii.l  for  his  properly,  which  shall  be  turned  out  hy 
the  prior  of  Tudhury,  if  his  minstrels,  or  any  one  of  Ihem.  could 
rut  otf  a  piece  of  Ills  skin  before  he  runs  into  Derbyshire  ;  but  if 
the  bull  gets  into  that  county  sound  and  unliurt,  the  prior  may 
have  his  bull  again.  Exemplification  of  Henry  VI.  is  dated 
1442. 

This  custom  being  productive  of  much  mischief,  was,  at  the 
request  of  the  inhabitants,  and  by  order  of  the  duke  of  Devon- 
shire, lord  of  the  manor,  discontinued  about  the  year  178?.  See 
Blount's  Ancient  'J'enures,  and  Jocular  Customs. 

*  This  relates  to  a  story  told  by  Henidotus,  lib.  iii.,  of  the  seven 
princes,  who,  having  destroyed  the  usurper  of  the  crown  of  Per 
sia,  were  all  of  them  in  competition  for  it:  at  last  they  agreed 
to  meet  on  horseback  at  an  appointed  place,  and  that  he  should 
be  acknowledged  sovereign  whose  horse  first  neighed  :  Darius's 
groom,  by  a  subtle  trick,  contrived  that  his  master  should  sue 
ceed. 

t  A  person  with  a  wooden  leg  generally  puts  that  leg  first  in 
walking. 

i  This  character  was  designed  for  Joshua  Goslin,  who  kept 
bears  at  Paris  garden,  Southwark,  as  says  Sir  Roger  L'Eslraiigs 
In  his  Key  to  Hiidibras. 

$  Sec  Purchas's  Pilgrims  and  Lady's  Travels  into  Spain 


ST: 

Canto  ii.J  IIUDIBllAS.  i  tcJSs    '- 

Knew  when  t'engage  his  bear  pell-mell, 

And  when  to  bring  him  ofTas  well,  IGO 

So  lawyers,  lest  the  bear  defendant. 

And  plaintiff  dot:,  should  malce  an^nd  on't,* 

Do  stavo  and  tail  \vith  \vrits_of  error, t 

Reverse  of  judgment,  and  demurrer, 

'l^jetj.hein  breathe  awhile,  and  then  Kij 

Cry  whoop,  and  set  them  ou  agea. 

As  Romulus  a  wolf  did  rear. 

So  he  was  dry-nurs'd  by  a  bear,t 

That  fed  him  with  the  purchas'd  prey 

Ol  many  a  fierce  and  bloody  fray ;  170 


*  Mr.  Butler  probably  took  tliis  idea  from  a  book  entitled  The 
princely  Pleasure  of  Keiiihvorth  in  Warwickshire,  in  1575. 

"The  beares  wear  brought  toorlh  intoo  coourl,  the  dogs  set 
"  too  them,  to  argu  the  points,  eeven  face  to  flice  ;  they  had 
"  learned  coounseil  also  a  both  parts; — If  the  dog  in  pleadyng 
"  would  1)1  uck  the  bcare  by  the  throte,  the  beare  with  travcrs 
"  would  claw  him  again  by  the  skaip,  &c." 

t  The  comparison  of  a  lawyer  with  a  bearward  is  here  kept 
np;  the  one  parts  his  clients,  and  keeps  them  at  bay  by  writ  of 
error  and  demurrer,  as  the  latter  does  the  dogs  and  the  bear,  by 
interposing  his  stalV,  (hence  stave.)  and  holding  the  dogs  by  the 
tails.  See  the  character  of  a  lawyer  in  Hutler's  Genuine  Re- 
mains, vol.  ii.  p.  1(54,  where  the  severity  and  bitterness  of  the 
satire,  and  tlie  verses  which  follow,  may  bo  accounted  for  by 
the  poet's  having  married  a  widow,  whom  lie  thought  a  great 
fortune,  but  perhaps,  through  the  unskilfiilness  or  roguery  of  the 
lawyer,  it  being  placed  on  bad  security,  was  lost.  This  he  fre- 
quently alludes  to  in  his  AtS.  Couunon-place  Book:  he  says  the 
lawyer  never  ends  a  suit,  but  prunes  it,  that  it  may  grow  the 
faster,  and  yield  a  greater  increase  of  strife. 

The  conquering  foe  they  soon  assailed, 
First  Trulla  stav'd,  and  Cerdon  tailed. 

The  improvements  in  modern  practice,  and  the  acutcness  of 
Butler's  observation,  have  been  able  to  add  little  to  the  picture 
left  us  by  Aimnianus  Marcellinus  of  the  lawyers  of  ancient 
Rome.  See  lib.  .\xx.  cap.  iv.  Butler's  simile  has  been  transla- 
ted into  Ijatin,  [by  Ur.  Harmar,  sometime  under-master  of  West- 
minster School.] 

Sic  legnm  mystiP;  ne  forsan  pax  foret,  Ursam 
Jnter  tutanteni  sese,  actorenique  molossum 
Faucibus  injiciunt  clavo^,  dentesque  refigunt 
Luctantesque  canes  coxis,  remorisque  revellunt: 
Krrores  jurisque  moras  obiendcre  certi, 
.ludiciumque  prius  revocare  ut  prorsus  iniquuui 
'I'andeni  post  aliquod  breve  respiramen  ulrinque, 
Ut  pugnas  iterent,  crehris  hortatilius  urgent. 
Eja !  agite  o  cives,  iterumque  in  prcclia  trudunt. 

X  That  is,  maintained  by  the  diversion  which  this  bearaffiirded 
the  rabble.  It  may  allude  likewise,  as  Dr.  Grey  observes,  to  the 
story  of  Valentine  and  Orson,  ch.  iv.,  where  Orson  is  suckled  by 
t  bear,  as  Uoniulus  was  by  a  wolf. 


SS  HUDIBRAS  I  Part  i 

Bred  up,  where  discipline  most  rare  is, 

Tn  military  garden  Paris  :* 

r'or  soldiers  heretofore  did  grow 

III  gardens,  just  as  weeds  do  now. 

Until  some  splay-foot  politicians  171 

T'  Apollo  oft'er'd  up  petitions,! 

For  licensing  a  new  invention 

They'ad  found  out  of  an  antique  engin, 

To  root  out  all  the  weeds,  that  grow 

In  public  gardens,  at  a  blow,  180 

And  leave  th'  herbs  standing.     Quoth  Sir  Sun,t 

My  friends,  that  is  not  to  be  done. 

Not  done!  quoth  Statesmen:  Yes,  au't  pleeuse  ye. 

When  "tis  once  known  you'll  say  'tis  easy. 

Why  then  let's  know  it,  quotii  Apollo :  185 

We'll  beat  a  drum,  aud  they'll  all  follow. 


*  At  Paris  garden,  in  South wark,  near  the  river  side,  there  was 
a  play-house,  at  which  Ben  Jonson  is  said  to  have  acted  the 
part  of  Zulinian:  the  place  was  long  noted  for  the  entertainment 
of  hear-baiting.  The  custom  of  resorting  thither  was  censured 
by  one  Crowley,  who  wrote  in  the  latter  time  of  Henry  VIII. — 
Robert  Crowley,  I  believe,  was  a  Northamptonshire  man,  of 
Magdalene  College,  Oxford,  about  the  year  1534,  and  1j4J.  In 
Bod.  Lib.,  see  his  31  Epigrams. 

At  Paris  garden,  each  Sunday,  a  man  shall  not  fail 
To  find  two  or  three  hundred  for  the  bearward  vale, 
One  halfpenny  a  piece  they  use  for  to  give  ; 
When  some  have  not  more  in  their  purses,  I  believe. 
Well,  at  the  last  day  their  conscience  will  declare. 
That  the  poor  ought  to  have  all  that  they  may  spare. 
If  you  therefore  give  to  see  a  bear  fight. 
Be  sure  God  his  curse  upon  you  will  light. 

These  barbarous  diversions  continued  in  fashion  till  they  were 
suppressed  by  the  fanatics  in  the  civil  wars.  Bear-baiting  was 
forbid  by  an  act  of  Parliament,  1  Ch.  I.,  which  act  was  continued 
and  enforced  by  several  subsequent  acts.  James  the  first  insti- 
tuted a  society,  which  he  called  of  the  military  garden,  for  the 
training  of  the  soldiers  and  practising  feats  of  arms,  and  as  Paris 
was  then  the  chief  place  for  poliie  education,  some  have  imag- 
ined this  place  was  from  thence  called  the  military  garden  Paris  : 
others  suppose  it  to  be  called  garden  Paris  from  the  name  of  the 
owner. 

t  The  whole  passage,  here  a  little  inverted,  is  certainly  taken 
from  Boccalini's  Advertisement  from  Parnassus,  cent.  i.  advert. 
16,  p.  'J7,  ed,  1050,  where  the  gardeners  address  Apollo,  beseech- 
ing him,  that,  as  he  had  invented  drums  and  trumpets,  by 
means  of  which  princes  could  enlist  and  destroy  their  idle  and 
dissolute  subjects;  so  he  would  teach  them  some  more  easy  and 
expeditious  method  of  destroying  weeds  and  no.\ious  plants,  than 
that  of  removing  them  with  rakes  and  spades. 

t  "Sir  Sun."  is  an  expression  used  by  Sir  Philip  Sydney  in 
Pembroke's  Arcadia,  book  i.  p.  TO.  See  likewise  P.utleir's  Ro- 
nains,  Vol.  ii.  p.  248. 


Canto  ii.J  IIUDIBRAS.  gg 

A  drum!  quoth  Phoebus  ;  Troth,  that's  true, 

A  pretty  invention,  quaint  and  new : 

But  tlio'  of  voice  and  instrument 

We  are,  'tis  true,  chief  president,  -^ 

We  such  loud  music  don't  profess. 

The  devil's  master  of  that  oflice. 

Where  it  must  pass;  if't  ho  a  drum. 

Ho'll  sign  it  with  Cler.  Pari.  Doin.  Com.* 

To  him  ap])ly  yourselves,  and  he  195 

Will  soon  dispatch  you  for  his  fee. 

They  did  so,  but  it  i)rov'd  so  ill, 

They'ad  bettor  lot  'vm  grow  there  still.t 

But  to  resume  what  wo  discoursing 

Were  on  before,  that  is,  stout  Orsin ;  200 

That  which  so  oft  by  sundry  writers. 

Has  been  apply'd  t'  almost  all  fighters, 

More  justly  may  b'  ascrih'd  to  this 

Than  any  other  warrior,  viz. 

None  ever  acted  both  parts  bolder,  gOS 

Both  of  a  chieftain  and  a  soldier.! 

He  was  of  great  descent  and  high 

For  splendor  and  antiquity. 

And  from  celestial  origine, 

Deriv'd  himself  in  a  right  line  ;  21C 

Not  as  the  ancient  heroes  did, 

Who,  that  their  base  births  might  be  hid,§ 


*  During  the  civil  wars,  the  parliament  grnntod  patents  for  new 
invpntJDns  ;  these,  and  all  other  orders  and  ordinances,  were  signed 
ny  their  clerk,  with  tliis  addition  to  his  name— clerk  of  the  par- 
liament house  of  commons.  The  devil  is  here  represented  as 
directing  ami  governing  the  parliament.  Monopolies  and  grant- 
ing of  patents  had  occasioned  great  uneasiness  in  the  reign  of 
James  I.,  when  an  act  passed,  that  all  patents  should  regularly 
pass  helurc  the  king  and  council,  upon  the  report  of  the  attorney- 
general. 

t  The  expedient  of  arming  the  discontented  and  unprincipled 
multitude,  is  adventurous,  and  often  proves  fatal  to  the  state. 

t  A  satire  on  common  rhar.icters  given  hy  historians. 

^  Ion  thus  addressed  his  mother  Creusa,  when  she  had  told 
tiMu  that  he  was  son  of  Apollo — 

AcBp'  c\9''  i;  ovi  yap  roiif  Xdyovg  ehuv  OiX% 
Kat  T£pu'aXu;^'a[  To7ai   vpayiiaoi  okotov. 
"Opa  ail,  iirjrep,  fifi  <j(paXe'iaa  napOh'OS, 
EyyivcTui  voafmar'  di  kovhtovs  ydpovi. 
'VjTzciTa  Tui  dcu)  TpooTiOiji  rfjv  alriaf. 
Ka(  TDVpof  aiaxpiv  diro^uytTi'  itttpuipivi), 
9oi(iif  TtKcXv  /J£  ^i)f,  TCKuua'  oiiK  ix  dcov. 

Euripides,  Ion.  153L 


HQ  ilUDIBRAS.  fPAftT  I 

Knowing  they  were  of  doubtful  jrendcr, 

And  that  they  came  in  at  a  wiiidore, 

Made  Jupiter  himself,  and  others  21J 

O'  th'  gods,  gallants  to  their  own  mothers, 

To  get  on  them  a  race  of  champions, 

Of  which  old  Homer  first  made  lampoons ; 

Arctophylax,  in  northern  sphere, 

Was  his  undoubted  ancestor  ;  ffJC 

From  whom  his  great  forefathers  came, 

And  in  all  ages  bore  his  name: 

Learn'd  ho  was  in  med'c'nal  lore, 

For  by  his  side  a  pouch  he  wore. 

Replete  with  strange  hermetic  powder,*  2i.i 

That  wounds  nine  miles  point-blank  woula  solder  ;t 

By  skilful  chymist,  with  great  cost. 

Extracted  from  a  rotten  post  ;t 

But  of  a  heav'nlier  influence 

Thau  that  which  mountebanks  dispense  ;  23fl 

Tho'  by  Promethean  fire  made,§ 

As  they  do  quack  that  drive  that  trade 

For  as  when  slovens  do  amiss 

At  others'  doors,  by  stool  or  piss, 

The  learned  write,  a  red-hot  spit  235 

B'ing  prudently  apply'd  to  it. 

Will  convey  mischief  from  the  dung|| 

Unto  the  part  that  did  the  wrong ; 

So  this  did  healing,  and  as  sure 

As  that  did  mischief,  th!s  would  cure.  340 

Thus  virtuous  Orsin  was  endud 

With  learning,  conduct,  fortitude 

Incomparable  ;  and  as  the  prince 

Of  poets,  Homer,  sung  long  since, 


*  Flprmetic,  i.  e.  chymicnl.  from  Hermes,  Mercim';  or  perhaps 
so  called  from  Hermes  Trismegislus,  a  '."amous  Egyptian  pliiloso- 
phor. 

t  Mcininz  to  bintfr  the  sympathetic  powder,  which  was  tn 
effect  the  cure  fif  wound-i  at  a  ilistanee.  It  was  iiiiicli  in  fashion 
in  the  re  gn  of  James  tho  First.  ?ee  Sir  Kenclm  llij;l)y's  dis 
course  toiictiia!;  the  cure  of  wounds  by  the  powder  of  sym 
pathy.  trin<lati'(l  from  the  French  by  R.  While,  gent.,  and 
printed  IfioS — Point-blank  is  a  term  in  punnery,  signifying  a 
horizontal  level. 

t  Useless  powders  in  medicine,  are  called  powders  of  post. 

^1  'I'liat  is,  heat  of  the  ^•lln  :  so  in  Canto  iii.  v.  Cii*.  Promethean 
poicdcr,  that  is,  jiowder  calcined  by  the  sun.  for  the  chief  ingre- 
dient in  sympathetic  powder  was  calcined  by  the  sun. 

II  Still  ridiculins  ihe  sympathetic  powder.  See  the  treatise 
«bove-nienti(med,  where  'he  poet's  story  of  the  spit  is  seriousK 
tali. 


Uantoii.J  IIUDIBRAS.  qI 

A  skilful  leech  is  better  far,  24S 

Thau  iialf  a  hundred  incu  of  war;* 

So  ho  appear'd,  aud  by  his  skill, 

No  less  tlian  diut  of  sword,  cou'd  kill. 

The  gallaut  Bruin  inarch'd  next  hiuj, 
With  visajje  formidably  grim,  251 

And  rugged  as  a  Saracen, 
Or  Turk  of  Mahomet's  own  kin,t 
Clad  in  a  mantle  do  la  guerre 
Of  rough  impenetrable  fur; 

And  in  his  nose,  like  Indian  king,  233 

He  wore,  for  ornament,  a  ring: 
About  his  neck  a  threefold  gorget, 
As  rough  as  trebled  leathern  target ; 
Armed,  as  heralds  cant,  and  langued, 
Or,  as  the  vulgar  say,  sharp-fanged  :t  200 

For  as  the  teeth  in  beasts  of  prey 
Are  swords,  with  which  they  fight  in  fray 
So  swords,  in  men  of  war,  arc  teeth. 
Which  they  do  eat  their  vittle  with. 
lie  was,  by  birth,  some  authors  write,  265 

A  Russian,  some  a  Muscovite, 
And  'niong  the  Cossacks  had  been  bred. 
Of  whom  we  in  diunials  read. 
That  serve  to  fill  up  pages  here. 
As  with  their  bodies  ditches  there.  270 

Scrimansky  was  his  cousiu-german,§ 
With  whom  he  serv'd,  and  fed  on  vermin  ; 


'Irjrpoj  Y"P  "'''V  ~o\\ijiv  avrd^to;  aXXtov, 

lovi  T   tKrafiiciv  i-i  r'  ^'iria  ijxipftaKa  Ttdaativ. 

Homer.  Iliad.  1).  xi.  1.  514. 

Leech  is  tlie  old  Saxon  term  for  physician,  derived  from  laec, 
'ftc,  niiinus,  reward  ;  Chaucer  uses  the  word  leechcraft,  to  ex- 
i;ress  the  skill  of  a  physician  and  at  this  day  we  are  accustomed 
to  hear  of  heast  leach,  cow  leech,  &c.  The  glossary  annexed 
to  Gawin  Douglas's  Virgil  says,  I^eiche,  a  physician  or  surgeon, 
Prot.  Leech  from  the  A.  S.  lace,  lyce,  lack,  Isl.  laeknare,  Coth. 
leik,  iiiedicus,  A.  S.  laenian,  laecinian,  sanare,  curare  :  laikinon. 
Belt'. 

t  .Mr.  Oeorgc  Sandys,  in  his  hook  of  Travels,  ohserves,  that 
the  Turks  are  generally  well  complexioned,  of  good  stnture,  and 
M:e  women  of  elegant  heauty,  except  Mahomet's  kindred,  who 
are  the  most  ill-fivored  people  upon  earth,  branded,  perhaps,  by 
Jjod  (says  he)  for  the  sin  of  their  seducing  ancestor. 

t  Our  author  here  haulers  the  heralds,  as  he  had  before  ral 
lied  the  lawyers  and  physicians. 

5  Some  lavorite  bear  perhaps.  Two  of  the  Roman  emperors, 
-Maximilian  and  Valentinian,  gave  names  to  bears,  which  thej 
kept  for  the  daily  pleasure  of  seeing  them  devour  tlicir  subjects. 
The  names  of  Ihe  executioners  to  Valentinian  were  Mica  \u 


a2  HUDIBRAS.  [Part 

And,  wlien  these  fail'd..  he'd  suck  his  claws, 

And  quarter  liimself  upon  liis  paws:* 

And  tho'  Ills  countrymen,  tlie  Huns,  27 

Did  stew  their  meat  between  their  bums 

And  th'  liorses'  backs  o'er  which  they  straddle,+ 

And  every  man  ate  up  his  saddle ; 

He  was  not  half  so  nice  as  they, 

But  ate  it  raw  when't  came  in's  way.  28 

He  had  trac'd  countries  lar  and  near, 

More  than  Le  Blanc  tiie  traveller ; 

Who  writes,  lie  'spous'd  in  India, t 

Of  noble  house,  a  lady  gay. 

And  got  on  her  a  race  of  worthies,  28, 

As  stout  as  any  upon  earth  is. 

Full  many  a  fight  for  him  between^ 

Talgol  and  Orsin  oft'  liad  been, 

JEa_cli  strivinjr  to  deserve  the  crown 

Of  a  sav'd  citizen  ijl  the  one  i;9( 

To_guard  liis  bear,  the  other  fought 

To  aid  his  dog  ;  both  made  more  stou» 


rea,  and  Innocentia.  Amni.  jMarcellin.  xxix.  3,  et  Lactant.  ile 
niort.  perseculoriini,  cap.  21.  The  word  scrimalur  is  interpreted 
rugit,  aiit  liiiccinut.  Du  Cange  from  I'apias.  Ah  iis  diehns  resi- 
dent ac  prioruin  pedum  suclu  viviint.  Plin.  Nat.  Hist.,  lib.  viii. 
cap.  54. 

*  Jlnd  quarter  himself  vpon  his  paws. — A  word  ending  in  er 
before  another  beginning  with  a  vowel,  is  often  fonsidt-red  as 
ending  in  re,  and  cut  oti'  accordingly.  See  P.  ii.  c.  li.  v.  367,  and 
c.  iii.  V.  19-2,  P.  iii.  c.  i.  v.  521,  P.  ii.  c.  i.  v.  752,  P.  iii.  c.  i.  v.  583, 
622,  680,  c.  ii.  v.  108,  408,  c.  iii.  v.  dSi.  Hcroical  Epistle,  v.  284. 
Lady's  Answer,  v.  130.  So  in  P.  i.  c.  iii.  v.  1286.  fVhats'ever 
asseynbly's.  Thus  bowre  for  bower,  that  is  a  chanil)er.  See 
Percy's  Kcliques  of  Ancient  Poetry,  vol.  i.  p.  .'52.  The  old  poets 
took  great  liberties  in  varying  the  accents  and  terminations  of 
many  words:  thus,  countrie,  ladie,  harper,  finger,  battel,  dam- 
sel, &c.,  ibid.  p.  37. 

t  This  fact  is  related  by  Ammianus  Marcellinus,  wx'i.  cap.  i! 
615,  ed.  Paris,  1681.  With  such  fare  did  Azim  Khan  entertain 
Jenkinson,  and  other  Enelishmen,  in  their  Travels  to  the  Cas- 
pian sea  from  the  river  Volga. 

"Tartaros  esse  perquam  imnnii^dis  morihus"  si  jurulentam 
"aliqiiid  apponalur  in  mensain,  nulla  rcquirere  cochlearia,  sed 
"jns  volii  nianus  haurire  ;  enecturum  equorum  carncu)  devoraro 
"nullo  fcico  admotani ;  offts  tanium  sub  equestri  sella  expli- 
"care,  quibus  equino  calore  tepefactis,  tanquam  opipare  condl- 

tis,  vesci."     Busbequii,  Ep.  iv. 

t  I.c  IJl.inc  tells  this  story  of  Aganda  the  daughter  of  Isma- 
rlon. 

$  That  U,  on  his  account. 

jl  lie,  who  saved  tlie  life  of  a  Roman  citizen,  was  entitled  to 
a  civic,  crown  ;  so,  in  hunter,  says  our  author,  were  Talgnl  and 
Orsin,  who  fought  hard  to  save  the  lives  of  the  dogs  and 
bears 


Canto  II.]  IILDIIJIIA-S.  93 

By  sev'riil  spurs  of  nciglibourliood, 

Ciiiircli-fcllow-iiu'iiiboisliip,  and  blood  ;* 

But  Talgol,  mortal  foo  to  cows,  30J 

Never  jrot  ou^lit  of  him  [^i)t  blows; 

Blows  hard  and  iicav)',  sucli  as  ho 

Had  lent,  ro])aid  with  iisiuy. 

Jfct  Taljjol  was  of  pourage.  stout, 

And  vanqtiish'd  oft'ner  than  lie  fought;  300 

riuirM  to  labour,  sweat,  iuid  to.l, 

And,  like  a  champion,  shone  with  oil  ;t 

Ifight  many  a  widow  his  keen  blade, 

And  many  JatherLess  iiad  nicule  ; 

He  many  a  boar,  and  hii<re  diiu-cow  JOS 

Did,  like  another  Guy,  o'etthiow  ;t 

But  Guy,  with  him  in  light  compar'd. 

Had  like  the  boar  or  dun-cow  fard: 

With  greater  troops  of  sheep  h'  had  fought 

Than  Ajax,  or  bold  Don  Q.uixot  ;§  310 

And  many  a  serpent  of  fell  kind. 

With  wings  before,  and  stings  behind, 

Subdu'd  ;|1  as  poets  say,  long  agone, 

Bold  Sir  George  Saint  George  did  the  dragou.lT 

*  Both  were  of  the  same  fanatic  sect,  and  inured  to  scenes  of 
cruelty  rnmi  their  employments. 

t  He  was  a  Imlcher;  and  as  greasy  as  the  Greek  and  Roman 
wrestlers,  who  anointed  themselves  with  oil  to  make  their  joints 
more  supple,  and  prevent  strains. 

t  The  story  of  Guy,  earl  of  Warwick,  and  the  dun-cow  killed 
by  him  at  Uiinsmore-heath,  in  VVarwick.shire,  is  well  known  in 
romance.  He  lived  about  the  tenth  century.  A  rih  of  this  cow 
is  now  shown  in  Warwick  castle :  but  more  probably  it  is  some 
bone  of  a  whale. 

5  Ajax,  when  mad  with  rape  for  having  lost  the  armor  of 
Achilles,  attacked  and  slew  a  flock  of  sheep,  mistaking;  them 
for  the  Grecian  princes.  See  Sophocles,  Ajax.  1.  29.  Horace, 
Satire  iii.  book  ii.  1.  197.  Don  Quixote  encountered  a  flock  of 
sheep,  and  imagined  they  were  the  giant  Alii)harnon  of  Tapo- 
brana. 

II  Meaning  the  flies,  wasps,  and  hornets,  which  prey  upon 
the  butchers'  meat,  and  were  killed  by  the  valiant  Talgol.  Fell 
is  a  Saxon  word,  and  signifies  cruel,  deadly:  hence  the  term 
fellow  is  used  to  denote  a  cruel  wicked  man  :  perhaps  fellow  in 
a  better  sense  may  signify  compinion,  from  feel,  fiilow-fceling. 

II  Sir  George,  because  tradition  makes  him  a  soldier  as  well  as 
a  saint:  or  a  hero  (eijues)  as  well  as  a  martyr.  l!ut  all  heroes 
in  romance  have  the  appell  ition  of  Sir,  as  Sir  Bf>lianis  of  Greece, 
Sir  Palmerin,  &c.  As  to  the  patron  saint  of  England,  the  le- 
gendary accounts  assign  the  exploits  and  sullurings  of  George 
the  Martyr  to  the  times  of  Diocletian,  or  even  to  an  era  still 
earlier,  before  George,  the  Arian  liishop  of  Alexandria,  was 
born  ;  and  the  character  given  to  that  profligate  prela'e,  by  his 
contemporaries,  .\mm.  Marcellinus  and  St.  Epiph:iniU3,  is  ia 
direct  variance  with  the  high  panegyric  of  the  pious  martyr,  bj 


04  lllJlUliltAS.  ri'ART  I 

Nor  engine,  nor  device  polemic,  31  a 

Disease,  nor  doctor  ejjideniic,* 

Tlio'  stored  with  deletery  ined'cines,"' 

Which  whosoever  took  is  dead  since, 

E'er  sent  so  vast  a  colony 

To  both  the  under  worlds  as  he  ;t  326 

For  he  was  of  that  noble  trade 

That  demi-gods  and  heroes  made,^ 

Sldughter  and  knocking  on  the  head. 

The  trade  to  which  they  all  were  bred ; 

Venantius  Forlunatus  in  Justinian's  time.  Nor  are  the  narra 
lives  of  [heir  deaths  less  inconsistent.  All  which  consirter.-v 
lions  sufficiently  invalidate  the  unsupported  conjecture  so  invid- 
iously adopted  l)y  some,  th;il  our  guardian  saint,  instead  of  a 
Christian  hero,  was  in  reality  an  avaricious  and  oppressive  he 
retical  usurper  of  Athanasius's  sec.     Hut  to  return. 

There  was  a  real  Sir  (Jeorjie  St.  Geortie,  wlio,  with  Sir  Robert 
Newcouien,  and  M:ijor  Orjiisby,  was,  in  February,  ]l>4H,  (about 
our  poet's  liuie.)  made  commissioner  for  the  government  of  Con 
naught;  and  it  is  not  improbable  that  this  coincidence  of  names 
might  s'trike  forcibly  on  the  playful  imagination  of  Mr.  Butler. 
It  is  whimsical  too,  that  (Jcorge  Monk,  in  a  collection  of  loyal 
songs,  is  said  to  have  slain  a  most  cruel  dragon,  meaning  the 
Rump  parliament;  or,  perhaps,  the  poet  might  mean  to  ridicule 
the  Presbyterians,  who  refused  even  to  call  the  apostles  Peter 
and  Paul  saints,  much  more  St.  George,  but  in  mockery  called 
them  Sir  Peter,  Sir  Paul,  Sir  George. — The  sword  of  St.  George 
is  thus  ludicrously  described. 
His  sword  would  serve  for  battle,  or  for  dinner,  if  you  please, 
When  it  had  slain  a  Cheshire  man  'twould  toast  a  Cheshire 
cheese. 
*  The  plain  meaning  is — not  military  engine,  nor  stratagem, 
nor  disease,  nor  doctor  epidemic,  ever  destroyed  so  many.  The 
inquisition,  tortures,  or  persecutions,  have  nothing  to  do  here, 
'i'here  is  humor  in  joining  the  epithet  epidemic  to  doctor,  as 
well  as  to  the  dise.ise  ;  intimating,  perhaps,  that  no  constitution 
of  the  air  is  more  dangerous  than  the  approach  of  an  itinerant 
practit'oner  of  physic. 

rioAAuv  larpHv  tXuoh'os  ji   aTrm\r,atv . 

[K.\  incerlu  Coniico  ap.  Grot. J 
Thus  Juvenal — 

Quot  Themisen  ygros  aulumno  Occident  uno. 

Sat.  X.  221. 
Butler  in  his  Genuine  Remains,  vol.  ii.  p.  304,  says,  "  A  nionn 
"  tcbank  is  defined  to  be  an  epidemic  physician." 

t  Deletery,  no.xious,  dangerous,  from  6ijXru,  ^ij\t]T>'iptov. 
t  Virgil,  in  his  si.vth  yEneid,  describes  both  the  Elysian  Fields 
and  Tartarus  as  below,  and  not  far  asunder. 

^  Very  justly  satirizing  those  that  pride  themselves  on  their 
military  achievements.  The  general  who  massacres  thousands. 
Is  called  great  and  glorious;  the  assassin  who  kills  a  single  iiiau 
Is  hanged  at  Tyburn. 

lUe  cruceni  pretium  sceleris  tulet;  hie  diadema. 

Juvenal.  Sat.  xiii.  105. 


Canto  ii,.  IIUDIBRAS.  95 

And  is,  like  otiicrs,  glorious  when  325 

'Tis  great  and  large,  but  base,  if  mean  ;* 

Tiie  former  rides  in  triumj)li  for  it. 

The  latter  in  a  two-whecl'd  chariot. 

For  during  to  profane  a  thing 

So  sacred,  with  vile  bungleing.t  330 

Next  these  tlie^brave  Magnano  came, 
]]klagnan0j  great  in  martial  fame  ; 
Yet,  when  vith  Orsin  he  wag'd  fight, 
'Tis  sung  he  got  but  little  by't : 

Yet  he  was  fierce  as  forest  boai,  333 

Whose  spoils  npon  his  back  he  worc,l 
As  thick  as  Ajax'  seven-fold  shield, 
Which  o'er  his  brazen  arms  he  held ; 
But  brass  was  feeble  to  resist 

The  fury  of  his  armed  fist :  340 

Nor  could  the  hardest  iron  hold  out 
Against  his  blows,  but  they  would  through't 
In  magic  ho  was  doeply  read. 
As  he  that  made  the  brazen  head  ;§ 


*  Julius  Cicsar  is  said  to  have  fought  fifty  battles,  and  to  have 
killed  of  the  Gauls  alone,  eleven  hundred  ninety-two  thousand 
men,  and  as  many  more  in  his  civil  wars.  In  the  inscription 
which  rom|)ey  placed  in  the  temple  of  Minerva,  he  professed 
that  he  had  slain,  or  vanquished  and  taken,  two  millions  one 
hundred  and  eighty-three  thousand  men. 

t  The  last  word  is  here  lengthened  into  bungleing  for  the  sake 
of  the  metre. 

t  Meaning  his  Iiudget  made  of  pig's  skin. 

§  The  device  of  the  lira/.en  head,  which  was  to  speak  a  proph- 
ecy at  a  certain  lime,  had  by  some  been  imputed  totJrossaTesta, 
bishop  of  Lincoln,  as  appears  from  Gower,  the  old  Welsh  poet. 
[The  assertion  of  Gower's  being  from  Wales  is  Caxttm's;  but 
there  is  every  reason  to  believe  he  was  of  the  Gowor  family  of 
i^titenham  in  Yorkshire.  Pee  Todd's  Illustration  of  the  Lives 
and  Writings  of  Gower  and  Chaucer.] 

For  nf  the  great  clerke  Groslcst 

1  rede,  howe  busy  that  he  was 

Upon  the  clergie  an  he<le  of  bras 

To  forge,  and  make  it  for  to  telle 

Of  suche  thynges  as  befellc: 

Anil  seven  yeeres  besinesse 

lie  laide,  but  for  the  lachesse  [negligenccj 

Of  halfe  a  minute  if  an  houre, 

Fro  first  he  began  laboure. 

He  loste  all  that  he  had  do. 

C'onfessio  Amantis,  B.  iv. 
Others  supposed  that  the  design  of  making  the  brazen  head 
originated  with  .Mberlus  JIagnus.  Hut  the  gener.iliiy  of  writerSj 
and  our  poet  among  the  rest,  have  ascribed  it  to  Roger  liacon,  a 
cordelier  friar,  wliu  flourished  in  the  thirteenth  century,  and  ia 
said  to  have  known  the  use  of  the  telescope.    Mr.  Ueckwith,  in 


so  HUDIBRAS.  [Part 

Profoundly  skill'd  in  tlie  black  art,  3« 

As  Euglisli  Merlin,  for  his  heart  ;* 

But  far  more  skilful  in  the  spheres, 

Than  he  was  at  the  sieve  and  shcars.t 

He  cou'd  transform  himself  to  colour, 

As  like  the  devil  as  a  collier ;  350 

As  like  as  hypocrites  in  show 

Are  to  true  saints,  or  crow  to  crow 

Of  warlike  enjrines  he  was  author, 

Devis'd  for  quick  dispatch  of  slaughter  ;t 

The  cannon,  blunderbuss,  and  saker,  355 

He  was  tli'  inventor  of,  and  maker: 

The  trumpet  and  the  kettle-drum 

Did  both  from  his  invention  come. 

He  was  the  first  that  e'er  did  teach 

To  make,  and  how  to  stop,  a  breach.^  360 


his  new  edition  of  Bloiinl's  Fragmenla  Antiquitatis,  supposes 
Roger  Bacon  to  liavc  been  born  near  Mekesbiirgh,  now  .Mex- 
borough,  in  the  county  of  York,  and  that  his  famous  brazen 
head  was  set  up  in  a  field  at  Rolhwell,  near  Leeds. 

His  great  knowledge  caused  him  to  be  thought  a  magician  ;  the 
superior  of  his  order  put  him  in  prison  on  that  account,  from 
whence  he  was  delivered,  and  dieil  A.  U.  1-292,  aged  78.  Some, 
however,  believe  the  siory  of  the  head  to  be  nothing  more  than 
a  moral  fable. 

*  This  alludes  to  William  Lilly  the  astrologer.— Merlin  was  a 
Welsh  magician,  who  lived  about  the  year  500.     He  was  reck 
oned  the  prince  of  enchanters;  one  that  could  outdo  and  undo 
the  enchantments  of  all  others.    Spenser,  book  i.  c.  vii.  30. 
It  Merlin  was,  which  whylome  did  e.xcell 
All  living  wightes  in  might  of  niagicke  spell. 

There  was  also  a  Scotch  Merlin,  a  prophet,  called  Merlinus 
Galedonius,  or  Merlin  the  Wild,  who  lived  at  Allewyd  about  the 
year  570.  Geoffry  of  Monmouth  hath  written  the  fabulous  his- 
tory of  both  these  persons :  of  the  Briton,  in  his  book  de  gestis 
Bri'tonum,  f.  51,  ed.  Ascens.  1508— of  the  Scot,  in  a  Latin  poem 
preserved  in  the  Cotton  Library.  See  Pinkerton's  Inquiry  into 
the  Historj-  of  Scotland,  vol.  ii.  p.  275. 

t  The  literal  sense  would  be,  that  he  was  skilful  in  the  heav- 
enly spheres  ;  that  is,  was  a  great  astrologer:  hut  a  sphere  is 
properly  any  thing  round,  and  the  tinker's  skill  lay  in  mending 
pots  and  kettles,  which  are  commonly  of  that  shape.  There 
was  a  kind  of  divination  practised"  impia  fraude  aul  anili  supor- 
stitione" — a  sieve  was  put  up.on  the  point  of  a  pair  of  shears, 
and  expected  to  turn  round  when  the  person  or  thing  inquired 
after  was  named.  This  sillv  method  of  applying  for  informa- 
tion is  mentioned  by  Theocritus,  Idyll.  3.  It  is  called  Coscino- 
niantia. 

X  This  seems  to  he  introduced  to  keep  up  the  comparison. 
Roger  Bacon  is  said  to  have  invented  gimpowder.  It  has  been 
observed,  that  gunpowder  was  invented  by  a  priest,  and  printing 
by  a  soldier. 

6  Tinkers  are  saui  to  n;end  one  hole,  and  make  two. 


Ciwro  II.]  IIUDIBRAS.  97 

A  lance  lie  bore  with  iron  pike, 

Til'  one  hair  wou'd  thrust,  the  other  strike  j 

Ami  wiicii  their  forces  ho  liad  join'd. 

He  scorn'd  to  turn  his  [)ar(s  beiiind. 

He  Trulia  lov"d,*  Trulla  more  brijrjit  38J 

Than  buniish'd  armor  of  her  knight ; 
A  bold  virago,  stout,  and  tall. 
As  Joan  of  France,  or  English  Mall  ;t 
Thro'  perils  both  of  wind  and  limb. 
Thro'  thick  and  thin  she  follow'd  him  370 

In  ev'ry  adventure  h'  undertook, 
And  never  him  or  it  forsook : 
At  breach  of  wall,  or  iiedge  surprise, 
She  shar'd  i'  th'  hazard,  and  the  prize  ; 
At  beating  quarters  up,  or  forage,  375 

Behav'd  herself  with  matchless  courage, 
And  laid  about  in  fight  more  busily 
Than  th'  Amazonian  Dame  Pcnthesile  ;t 
And  tlio'  some  critics  here  cry  Shame, 
And  say  our  authors  are  to  blame,  380 

I'hat,  spite  of  all  philosophers. 
Who  hold  no  females  stout  but  bears. 
And  heretofore  did  so  abhor 
That  women  should  pretend  to  war. 
They  would  not  suffer  the  stoul'st  dame  385 

To  swear  by  Hercules  his  name  ;§ 


*  Trull  is  a  profligate  woman,  that  follows  tlie  camp.  TriUa 
signifies  the  same  in  Italian.  Casauhon  derives  it  from  the  Greek 
ftarpiXXri. — The  character  is  said  to  have  been  intended  for  the 
daughter  of  one  James  Spencer. 

t  .loan  d'Arc,  commonly  called  the  Maid  of  Orleans,  has  been 
Fuflicienlly  celebrated  in  the  English  histories  of  the  reigu  of 
Henry  VI.  about  the  years  1428  an<l  1429. 

English  Moll  was  no  less  famous  about  the  year  1670.  Her 
real  name  was  JIary  Carlton  ;  but  she  was  more  commonly  dis- 
linguisherl  by  the  title  of  Kentisli  Moll,  or  tlie  German  princess. 
— A  renowni'd  clicat  and  pickpocket,  who  was  transimrted  to 
.lamaica  in  1G71  ;  and,  being  soon  after  discovered  at  large,  was 
hanged  at  Tyburn,  January  22,  1GT2-3.  Memoirs  of  Mary  Carl 
ton  were  published  1673.  Granger,  in  his  IViograpliical  History, 
calls  her  Mary  Firlh.  See  vol.  ii.  p.  408.  cd.  8vo.  She  was  com- 
monly called  English  Mall.  Thus  Cleveland,  p.  97,  "certainly 
■'  it  is  under  the  same  notion,  as  one  whose  pockets  are  picked 
"goes  to  Mai  Cutpurse." 

t  In  the  first  editions  it  is  printed  wilii  more  liumor  Pen- 
Ihesile.    See  Virgil,  iEneid.  i.  490. 

Ducit  .Amazoniduni  lunatis  agmina  peltis 
Penthcsilea  furens,  mediisquc  in  inillibus  ardct, 
Aurea  subnectens  e.vserl;e  ciugula  tiiamina; 
Bellatrix,  audetque  viris  concinrerc  virso. 

^  The  men  and  women,  among  the  Romans,  did  not  use  tba 


9ri  liUDIBRAS.  'I'ART  • 

Make  feeble  ladies  in  their  works, 

To  fight  hke  tc-magauts  and  Turks  •* 

To  lay  their  native  arms  aside, 

Their  modesty,  and  ride  astride  ;t  ^C 

To  run  a  tilt  at  men  and  wield 

Their  naked  tools  in  open  field  ; 

As  stout  Arniida,  bold  Thalestris, 

And  she  that  would  have  been  the  mistress 

Of  Gundibert,  but  he  had  grace,  395 

And  rather  took  a  country  lass  :t 


same  oath,  or  swear  by  the  same  deity  ;  Atilus  Gcllius,  Noctes 
Attica;,  lib.  xi.  cap.  f> ;  but  commonly  the  oath  of  women  was 
Castor;  of  men  Edepol.or  Melicrcule.  Accordini:  to  Macrol)ius, 
the  men  did  not  swear  by  Castor,  nor  the  women  by  Hercules  ; 
but  ficlepol,  or  swearing  by  I'ollux.  was  common  to  Ijoth. 

*  The  word  lerinanant  now  signifies  a  noisy  and  troublesome 
person,  especially  of  the  female  se.v.  How  it  came  by  this  sig- 
nification 1  know  not.  Some  derive  it  from  the  Latin  ter  magnus, 
feli.t  ter  et  amplius  ;  but  Junius  thinks  it  compounded  of  the 
Anglo  Sa.\on  C^p,  the  .superlative  or  third  degree  of  comparison, 
and  maga  potens:  thus  the  Saxon  word  eafecg  happy,  fcyp 
eabes  niost  happy. — ]n  Chaucer's  rime  of  sire  Thopas,  termagant 
appears  to  be  the  name  of  a  deity.  The  giant  sire  Oliphaunt, 
swears  by  Termagaunt,  line  13741.  Bale,  describing  the  threats 
used  by  some  papist  mtigistrales  to  his  wife,  speaks  of  them  as 
"grennying  upon  her  lyke  termagaunts  in  .a  playe."  And  Ham- 
let in  Shakspcare,  (.Vet  iii.  sc.  2.)  "  I  would  have  such  a  fellow 
whipp'd  for  o'erdolng  Termagant,  it  out-herods  Herod."  The 
French  romances  corrupted  the  word  into  tervagauiit,  and  from 
them  La  Fontaine  took  it  up.  and  has  used  it  more  than  once  in 
his  Tales.  Mr.  Tyrwhiit  informs  us  that  this  Saracen  deity,  in 
an  old  .MS.  romance  in  the  Bodleian  Library,  is  constantly  called 
Tervagan. 

Bishop  Warburton  very  justly  observes,  that  this  passage  is  a 
fine  satire  on  the  Italian  epic  poets,  Ariosto,  Tasso,  and  others  ; 
who  have  introduced  their  female  warriors,  and  are  followed  iu 
this  absurdity  by  Spcnserand  Oavenant. — Bishop  Hurd,  likewise, 
in  his  ingenious  and  elegant  Letters  on  Chivalry,  p.  12,  says, 
"One  of  the  stransiest  circumstances  (in  old  romance)  is  that  of 
"  the  women  warriors.  Butler,  who  saw  it  in  this  light,  ridi- 
"cules  it,  as  a  most  unnatural  idea,  with  great  spirit.  Yet,  in 
"  these  representations  they  did  but  copy  from  llie  manners  oi 
"the  times.  Anna  Conmena  tells  us.  that  the  wife  of  Kober' 
"the  Norman  fought,  side  by  side,  with  her  husband  in  his 
"  battles." 

I  Camden,  in  his  account  of  Richmond,  (.Article  Surrey,  vol 
i.  col.  188,  ed.  1722,)  says,  that  Anne,  wife  of  Richard  11.,  dangh 
ter  of  the  emperor  Charles  IV.,  taught  the  English  women  the 
present  mode  of  riding,  about  the  year  i:!83.  Before  which  time 
they  rode  astride. — J.  Gower,  who  dates  his  poem  16  Richard  II., 
1394,  describing  a  company  of  ladies  on  horseback,  says,  "  evericb 
'one  ride  on  side,"  p.  70.  a.  2. 

X  The  princess  Rhodalind  harbored  a  secret  aflbction  for  Gon- 
dlbert;  but  he  was  more  struck  with  the  charms  of  the  humbia 
Birtha,  daughter  to  the  sage  Astragon. 


Canto  ii.]  IIUDIBRAS.  09 

They  say  'tis  false,  witliout  all  sense, 

But  of  pernicious  consequence 

To  government,  wliich  they  suppose 

Can  never  be  uplield  in  prose  :*  40C 

Strip  nature  naked  to  the  skin, 

You'll  hnd  about  her  no  such  thing. 

It  may  be  so,  yet  what  we  tell 

Of  Trulla,  that's  improbable. 

Shall  be  depos'd  by  those  have  seen't,  405 

Or,  what's  as  good,  produc'd  in  print  ;f 

And  if  they  will  not  take  our  word. 

We'll  prove  it  true  upon  record. 

The  upright  Cerdon  next  advanc't,t 
Of  all  his  race  the  valiant's'  ;  410 

Cerdon  the  Great,  renown'd  in  song, 
Like  Herc'les,  for  repair  of  wrong  : 

He  rais'd  the  low,  and  fortify'd 
The  weak  against  the  strongest  side  :§ 
111  has  he  read,  that  never  hit  415 

On  him  in  muses'  deathless  writ.]] 

Courts  she  ne'er  saw ;  yet  courts  could  have  outdone, 
With  untaught  looks,  and  an  uiipractis'd  heart. 

*  Butler  loses  no  opi)ortunity  of  rallying  Sir  William  Dave- 
nant,  and  burlesquing  his  poem  entitled  Gondiliert.  Sir  William, 
like  many  professional  men,  was  much  att;iclied  to  his  own  line 
of  science;  and  in  his  preface  to  Gondibert,  ciuleavors  to  show, 
that  neither  divines,  leaders  of  armies,  statesmen,  nor  ministers 
of  the  law,  could  uphold  the  government  without  the  aid  of 
poetry. 

t  The  vulgar  imagine  tliat  every  thing  which  they  see  in 
print  must  be  true.  An  instance  of  this  is  related  by  our  coun- 
tryman, Mr.  Martin,  wlio  was  thrown  into  the  inquisition  for 
neglecting  to  pay  due  respect  to  a  religious  procession  at  Malaga. 
One  of  the  father-inquisitors  took  much  pains  to  convert  him  ; 
and  among  other  abuses  which  he  cast  on  the  reformed  religion 
and  its  professors,  afiirmed  that  king  William  was  an  atheist, 
and  never  reteived  the  sacrament.  Mr.  Martin  assured  him  this 
was  false  to  liis  own  knowledge  :  when  the  reverend  father  re- 
jilied,  "  Isaac,  Isaac,  never  tell  me  so. — I  have  read  it  in  a  French 
book." 

X  An  equivoque  on  the  word  upright.  Perhaps  our  poet  might 
here  mean  to  satirize  Colonel  llewson,  who  was  a  cobbler,  gre.it 
preacher,  and  a  commander  of  some  note  :  "  renown'd  in  song," 
for  there  are  many  ballads  and  poems  which  celebrate  the  cob- 
bler and  his  stall. 

§  Repaired  the  heels,  and  mended  the  worn-out  parts  of  th« 
shoe. 

II  A  parody  upon  these  lines  in  Gondibert: 

Recorded  Rhodalind,  whose  name  in  verse 

Who  hath  not  hit,  not  luckily  hath  read.  \ 


Or  Ihos ; 


Recorded  Rhodalind,  whose  high  renown 
Who  miss  in  books,  not  luckily  have  read 

9 


JOO  IIUDIBRAS.  IPakt  i 

He  had  a  weapon  keen  and  fierce, 

Tliat  thro'  a  bull-liide  sliield  would  pierce,* 

And  cut  it  in  a  tliousaud  jiieces, 

Tiio'  tougher  than  the  Kiiigiit  of  Greece  liis.t         -120 

With  whom  liis  black-l!ninilj"d  anceslcrt 

Was  comrade  in  tlie  ten  years"  war  : 

For  wlien  the  restless  Greeks  sat  down 

So  many  years  before  Troy  town, 

And  were  renown'd,  as  Homer  writes,  425 

For  well-sol'd  boots  no  less  than  fights,§ 

They  ow'd  that  glory  only  to 

His  ancestor,  tiiat  made  them  so. 

Fast  friend  he  was  to  reformation, 

Until  'twas  worn  quite  out  of  fashion  ;  430 

Next  rectifier  of  wry  law, 

And  would  make  three  to  cure  one  flaw. 

Learned  he  was,  and  could  take  note, 

Transcribe,  collect,  translate,  and  quote : 

But  preaching  was  his  chiefest  talent,  435 

Or  argument,  in  which  being  valiant. 

He  us"d  to  lay  about,  and  stickle. 

Like  ram  or  bull  at  conventicle  : 

For  disputants,  like  rains  and  bulls 

Do  fight  with  arms  that  spring  from  sculls.  440 

Last  Colon  cauie,||  bold  man  of  wai 
Destin'd  to  blows  by  fatal  star  ; 
Right  expert  in  connnand  of  horse. 
But  cruel,  and  without  remorse. 

That  which  of  Centaur  long  ago  443 

Was  said,  and  lias  been  wrested  to 
Some  other  knights,  was  true  of  tiiis : 
He  and  his  horse  were  of  a  piece  : 
One  spirit  did  niform  th^m  both, 
The  self-same  vigour,  fury,  wroth  ;  4j0 

*  Meaning  his  sharp  knife  with  which  he  cut  ihe  leather 
t  The  shield  of  .Ajax. 

A?.if  H"  lyyvOtv  rj\Oc.  (fiifnav  ad<os  ifi'l  Typyuv, 
Xti\Ktov,  izTuSdeioii,  b  ol  'ivxio;  Kti^ic  rtiix^i'- 

Iliad,  vii.  2]» 
i  Accoriling  to  the  old  verses  : 

'J'lit-  iiif/hi-r  the  phinih-tree,  the  riper  the  plumb, 
The  riclier  the  cobbler,  the  blacker  liis  ihiimb. 
^    KvKvniJtifci 'Axatol—Ki'iiyig,  was  an   armor  for  the  logs, 
iTroiii  «i'(//ii),  tibia,  crus,  which  liiil.er  ludicrously  calls  boots. 
II  CoUm  is  said,  by  Sir  Robert  l-'Esiran-ie,  to  be  one  Ned  Perry, 
»n  ov.ler  ;  possibly  ha  had  risen  to  some  cununand  in  a  regiment 
>r  burse 


Canto  n.J  IIUDIBRAS.  |01 

Yet  he  was  much  the  rouglicr  part, 

Anil  always  had  the  harder  heart, 

Altho'  liis  horse  had  been  of  those 

Tliat  fed  on  man's  flesh,  as  fame  goes  :* 

Strange  food  for  horse  I  and  yet,  alas  !  4J5 

It  may  be  true,  for  flesh  is  grass.t 

Sturdy  he  was,  and  no  less  able 

Thau  IJereules  to  cleanse  a  stable  ;t 

As  great  a  drover,  and  as  great 

A  critic  too,  in  hog  or  neat.  400 

Ho  ripp'd  the  womb  up  of  his  mother, 

Dame  Tellus,^  'cause  she  wanted  fother. 

And  provender,  wherewitli  to  feed 

Himself,  and  his  less  cruel  steed. 

It  was  a  question  whether  he,  16S 

Or's  horse,  were  of  a  family 

More  worshipful ;  'till  antiquaries. 

After  th'ad  almost  por'd  out  their  eyes, 

Did  very  learnedly  decide 

The  bus'ness  on  the  horse's  side,  470 

And  prov'd  not  only  horse,  but  cows, 

Nay  pigs,  were  of  the  elder  house  : 

*  The  liorscs  of  Diomcdes  were  suid  to  have  been  fed  with 
DUiiiaii  flesh. 

Non  libi  succurrit  cnidi  Diomcdis  imago, 
Ellerus  liuiiiana  qui  dape  |)Mvit  ccjuas. 

Ovid.  Epist.  Deianira  Herculi. 

The  moral,  perhaps,  might  l)c,  that  Diomede  was  ruined  Ijy 
keeping  liis  horses,  as  Acteon  was  said  to  l)e  devoured  by  his 
dogs,  because  he  was  ruined  ley  keeping  them:  a  good  liint  to 
young  men,  qui  gaudent  equis,  canibu^que  ;  the  French  say,  of 
a  man  who  has  ruined  liimself  by  e.vtravagance,  il  a  mang6  ses 
biens. 

;?ee  the  account  of  Duncan's  horses  in  Shakspearc,  (Macbeth, 
Ac.  ii.  sc.  4.) 

t  Our  poet  takes  a  particular  pleasure  in  bantering  Sir  Thomas 
nrownc,  author  of  the  Vulgar  Errors,  and  Keligio  Medici.  In 
llie  iat'.rr  of  these  tracts  lie  had  said,  "  All  tlesh  is  grass,  not 
•' only  netaphorically,  but  literally :  for  all  those  creatures  we 
"  behold,  are  but  the  herbs  of  the  fielil  digested  into  flesh  in 
"  them,  or  more  remotely  carnilied  in  ourselves.  Nay.  farther, 
"  we  ai'e,  what  we  all  abhor,  anthropophagi  and  cannibals  ;  de- 
"  vourers  not  only  of  men  but  of  ourselves,  and  that  not  in  alle- 
"ijory  but  positive  truth  ;  for  all  this  mass  of  flesh  which  we 
"  behold  came  in  at  our  moulh  ;  tliis  frame  we  look  upon  hath 
"  been  upon  our  trenchers." 

t  Alluding  to  the  fabulous  story  of  Hercules,  who  cleansed 
the  stables  of  Augeus,  king  of  Elis,  by  turning  the  river  Alpheus 
through  theiii. 

$  This  means  no  more  than  liis  ploughing  the  ground.  The 
mock  epic  delights  in  e.vaggeratins;  the  most  trifling  circumstau 
ces.    This  whole  character  is  full  of  wU  and  happy  allusiuns. 


lot 


HUDIBRAS.  i'Part 


For  beasts,  nlien  man  was  but  a  piece 
Of  earth  himself,  did  th'  earth  possess. 

These  wortliies  were  the  chief  that  led  471 

The  combatants,*  each  in  the  head 
Of  his  command,  with  aims  and  rage, 
Ready  and  longing  to  engage. 
The  numerous  rabble  was  drawn  out 
Jf  sev'ral  countries  round  about,  480 

From  villages  remote,  and  shires, 
Of  east  and  western  hemispheres. 
From  foreign  parishes  and  regions, 
Of  different  manners,  speech,  religions,! 
Came  men  and  mastiffs  ;  sorne  to  fight  483 

For  fame  and  honor,  som.o  for  sight. 
And  now  the  field  of  death,  the  lists, 
Were  euter'd  by  antagonists, 
And  blood  was  ready  to  be  broach'd. 
When  Hudibras  in  haste  approach'd,  490 

With  Squire  and  weapons  to  attack  'em ; 
But  first  thus  from  his  horse  bespake  'em : 

What  ra^e,  O  citizens  It  what  fury 
Doth  you  to  these  dire  actions  hurry? 
What  oestrum,  what  phrenetic  mood§  495 


*  All  Butler's  heroes  are  round-lieads:  the  cavaliers  are  sel- 
dom mentioned  in  his  poem.  The  reason  may  be,  that  his  ,«atire 
on  the  two  predominant  sects  would  not  have  had  the  same 
force  from  the  mouth  of  a  royalist.  It  is  now  founded  on  the 
ucknowledgments  and  mutual  lecriminations  of  the  parties  ex- 
posed. 

t  In  a  thanksgiving  sermon  pr^eached  before  the  parliament  on 
the  taking  of  Chester,  the  pr3?<  her  said,  there  were  in  London 
no  le-oS  than  one  hundred  and  f.fty  ditTerent  sects. 

t  Butler  certainly  had  thtsc  lines  of  Lucan  in  view,  Phar 
tal  1-8: 

dais  furor,  O  cives,  r  aje  tanta  licentia  ferri, 
Genlibus  invisus  Li'-l'-im  pra-bere  cruorum  ? 
Cumque  super'oa  for't  Babylon  spolianda  trophais 
Ausoniis,  uiiibi-inj'.  erraret  Crassiis  inulla, 
Bella  geri  jilKcuitnuilos  habilura  triuiiiphos" 
Keu,  quar.Uiir  pctiut  terra;  pelagicpie  parari 
Hoc,  quern  civiles  huuserunt,  sanguine,  dextrae 

Vnd  Virgil,  ^n.ii.  42: 

O  miseri,  qusE  tanta  insania,  cives? 

Perhaps,  too,  he  recollected  the  seventh  epode  of  Horace: 

Quo,  quo  scelesti,  ruitis  ?  aut  cur  dexteris 
Aptantur  enses  conditi  ? 
$  OTs-pc;  is  not  only  a  Greek  word  for  madness  but  sipnifien 
lUo  a  caJ-boe.  or  horse  fly,  that  torments  cattle  in  the  summer 
tntt  makes  thtiii  run  about  as  if  they  were  mad 


Canto  ii.]  IILDIBRAS.  lOa 

Makes  you  thus  lavish  of  your  blood, 
Whilo  the  proud  Vies  your  trophies  boist, 

And,  unreveng'd,  walks ghost?* 

What  towns,  what  garrisons  niiglit  you, 

With  hazard  of  this  blood,  subdue,  500 

Which  now  y'  are  bent  to  throw  away 

In  vain,  untriumplutblc  fray  ?t 

Shall  saints  in  civil  bloodshed  wallow 

Of  saints,  and  let  the  cause  lie  fallow  ?J: 

The  cause,  for  which  wc  fought  and  svvoro  505 

So  boldly,  shall  we  now  give  o'er  ? 

Then,  because  quarrels  still  are  seen 

With  oaths  and  swearings  to  begin, 

The  solemn  league  and  covenant^ 

Will  seem  a  mere  God-damn-me  rant,  510 

And  we  that  took  it,  and  have  fought, 

As  lewd  as  drunkards  that  fall  out : 

For  as  we  make  war  for  the  king 

Against  himself,]]  the  self-same  thing 

Some  will  not  stick  to  swear  wc  do  515 

For  God,  and  for  religion  too  ; 


*  Vies,  or  Devizes,  in  Wiltshire.  This  passage  alludes  to  the 
defeat  given  by  VVilniot  to  the  forces  ini<ler  Sir  VVilliarn  Waller, 
near  tlial  place,  July  13,  16-43.  Alter  the  battle  Sir  William  was 
entirely  iie;;lected  by  his  piirty.  Clarendon  calls  it  the  battle  of 
Itouiid  way-down.  Sec  vol.  ii.  p.  2-24.  Some  in  joke  call  it  Run- 
away down.  Others  suppose  the  hiatus,  m  the  second  hne, 
ought  to  l)(!  supplied  by  the  name  Hampden,  who  was  killed  in 
•  "halgrove-field  in  Oxfordshire,  about  the  time  of  Waller's  de- 
feat in  the  neighborhood  of  the  Devizes. — The  heathen  poets 
h  ive  feigned,  that  the  ghosts  of  the  slain  could  not  enter  Ely- 
sium till  their  deaths  were  revenged. 

t  The  Ilomans  never  granted  a  triumph  to  the  conqueror  in  a 
cicil  war. 

X  The  support  of  the  discipline,  or  ecclesiastical  regimen  by 
presbyters,  was  called  the  Cause,  as  if  no  other  cause  were  com- 
parable to  it.     See  Hooker's  Kctles.  Pol.,  preface. 

^  Mr.  Robert  Gordon,  in  his  history  of  the  illustrious  family 
of  Cordon,  vol.  ii.  p.  197,  compares  the  solenm  league  and  cove- 
nant with  the  holy  league  in  France :  he  says,  they  were  as  like 
Hs  one  egg  to  another ;  the  one  was  nursed  by  the  Jesuits,  the 
other  by  the  Scots  I'resbyterians. 

II  -To  secure  the  king's  i.-erson  from  danger,"  sAys  Ijord  Clar- 
endon, "  was  an  e.vpression  they  were  not  ashamed  always  to 
'•use,  when  there  was  no  dinger  that  threatened,  but  what 
'themselves  contrived  and  designeil  against  him.  They  not 
"only  declared  that  they  fought  for  the  king,  but  thtit  the  raising 
"and  maintaining  soldiers  for  their  own  army,  would  be  an  ac- 
"ceptable  service  for  the  king,  parliament,  and  kingdom." 

One  Ulake,  in  the  king's  army,  gave  intelligence  to  the  <nemy 
'n  what  part  of  the  army  the  king  fought,  that  they  mi^'ht  direa 
ttteir  bullets  accurdinjily 


104  HUDIBKAS.  IPart  i 

For  if  bear-bailiug  we  allow, 

Wliat  good  can  reformation  do?* 

Tlie  blood  and  treasure  lliat's  laid  out 

Is  thrown  away,  and  goes  for  nought.  520 

Are  these  the  fruits  o'  th'  protestation, t 

The  prototype  of  reformation, t 

Which  all  the  saints,  and  some,  since  martyrs,§ 

Wore  in  their  hats  iilve  wedding-garters,|| 

When  'twas  resolved  by  their  house,  525 

Six  members'  ([uarrels  to  espouse  ?"ir 

Did  they  for  tliis  draw  down  the  rabble. 

With  zeal,  and  noises  formidable  ;** 

And  make  all  cries  about  the.  town 

Join  throats  to  cry  the  bishops  down?  530 

Who  having  round  begirt  the  palace. 

As  once  a  month  tiiey  do  the  gallows,tt 

As  members  gave  the  sign  about. 

Set  up  their  throats  with  hideous  shout. 

*  Hewson  is  said,  by  Mr.  Hume,  to  have  gone,  in  the  fervor 
of  his  zeal  against  bear-baiting,  and  killed  all  llie  bears  which 
he  could  find  in  the  city.  But  we  are  tdid  by  the  author  of  the 
Mystery  of  the  gnod  old  Cause,  a  painplilet  published  soon  after 
these  animals  were  destroyed,  that  ihey  were  killed  by  Colonel 
Vride.     Granger's  Biographical  History,  vol.  iii.  p.  75. 

t  The  protestation  was  framed,  and  taken  in  the  house  of 
commons,  May  3,  1641  ;  and  immediately  |)rinted  and  dispersed 
over  the  nation.  The  design  of  it  was  to  alarm  the  people  with 
fears  and  apprehensions  liolh  for  their  civil  and  religious  liber- 
ties;  as  if  the  I'rotestanl  religion  were  in  danger,  and  the  privi- 
leges of  parliament  trampled  upon.  The  king  was  deemed  to 
have  acted  unconstitutionally  the  day  before,  by  taking  notice 
of  the  bill  of  attainder  against  the  earl  of  £?iraH"ord,  then  depend- 
ing in  the  house  of  lords. 

i  The  protestation  was  the  first  attempt  towards  a  national 
combination  against  the  establishment,  and  was  harbinger  to  the 
covenant.  See  Nalson's  Collections,  vol.  i.  p.  ult.,  and  Walker's 
Sufferings  of  the  Clergy,  vol.  i.  2i-lj. 

§  Those  that  were  killed  in  the  war. 

fl  The  protestors  or  petitioners,  when  they  came  tumultuonsly 
to  the  parliament-house,  Dec.  27,  UA\.  stuck  pieces  of  paper  in 
their  hats,  which  were  to  piiss  lor  their  protestation. 

II  Charles  I.  ordered  Ihe  following  members— Lord  Kimbolton, 
Mr.  Pym,  Mr.  Ilollis,  Mr.  Hampden,  Sir  Arthur  Haseirig,  and 
M'.  Stri»-ji— to  be  prosecuted,  for  plotting  with  the  Scots,  and 
stirring  up  sedition.  'I'he  commons  voted  against  their  arrest, 
and  the  king  went  to  the  house  with  his  guurds,  in  order  to  seize 
them;  but  they  had  received  intelligence  of  the  design,  and 
made  their  escape.  This  was  one  of  the  first  acts  of  open  vio- 
lence which  preceded  the  civil  wars.  The  king  took  this  meas- 
ure chiefly  by  the  advice  of  Lord  Digby. 

♦*  The  cry  of  the  rabble  was  as  mentioned  in  the  following 
lines,  for  reformation  in  church  and  stale— no  bisliops— no  evil 
eonnsellors,  &c.    See  the  protestation  in  Rapin's  History. 

+  1  'J'he  executions  at  Tyburn  were  generally  once  a  month. 


Canto  ii.]  IIUDIBKAS.  103 

When  linkers  bawl'd  aloud,  to  settle  535 

Church-discipline,  for  i)atci)inir  kettle.* 
No  sow-gelder  did  blow  iiis  horn 
To  geld  u  cat,  but  cry'd  Reform. 
Tho  oyster-women  iock'd  their  fish  up, 
And  trudg'd  away  to  cry  No  Bishop :  540 

The  mouse-trap  men  laid  save-alls  bj'. 
And  'gainst  ev'l  counsellors  did  cry. 
Botchers  left  old  cloaths  in  tho  lurcri. 
And  fell  to  turn  and  patch  the  church, 
yonio  cry'd  the  covenant,  instead  545 

Of  pudding-pies  and  ginger-bread: 
And  some  for  brooms,  old  boots,  and  slioes, 
Bawl'd  out  to  purge  the  commons'  house: 
Instead  of  kitchen-stutf,  some  cry 
A  gospel-preaching  ministry:  550 

And  some  for  old  suits,  coats,  or  cloak. 
No  surplices,  nor  service-book. 
A  strange  harmonious  inclination 
Of  all  degrees  to  reformation  : 

And  is  tiiis  all?  is  this  the  end  555 

To  which  these  carr'ings-on  did  tend? 
Hath  public  faith,  like  a  young  heir, 
For  this  tak'n  up  all  sorts  of  ware, 
'   And  run  int'  ev'ry  tradesman's  book, 
'Till  both  turn  bankrupts,  and  are  broke ;  560 

Did  saints  for  this  bring  in  their  plate, t 
And  crowd,  as  if  they  came  too  late? 
For  when  they  thought  the  Cause  had  need  on't 
Happy  was  he  that  could  be  rid  on't. 
Did  they  coin  piss-pots,  bowls,  and  flaggons,  560 

Int'  ofHcers  of  horse  and  dragoons  ; 
And  into  pikes  and  musqueteers 
Stamp  beakers,  cups,  and  porringers? 
A  thimble,  bodkin,  and  a  spoon. 
Did  start  up  living  men,  as  soon  570 

As  in  the  furnace  they  were  thrown. 
Just  like  the  dragon's  teeth  b'ing  sown.t 


•  For,  that  is,  instead  of;  as  also  in  v.  547  and  b5]. 

t  Zealous  persons,  on  both  sides,  lent  their  plate,  to  raise 
Sconey  for  retruitins  the  artiiy.  The  king,  or  some  one  for  tho 
parliament,  gave  notes  of  hand  to  repay  with  interest.  Several 
colleges  at  Oxford  have  notes  to  this  day,  for  their  plate  delivered 
lo  the  king;  and  1  have  seen  many  other  notes  of  the  same 
nature.  Even  the  poor  women  brought  a  spoon,  a  thimble,  or  a 
hodkin. 

X  Ovid.    Metaniorph.  lib.  ill.  100. 


(06  IIUDIBRAS.  IPart  i 

Then  was  the  cause  all  gold  and  plate, 

The  brethren's  off'rintjs,  consecrate, 

Like  tlv  Hebrew  calf,  and  down  before  it  575 

The  saints  fell  prostrate,  to  adore  it.* 

So  say  the  wicked — and  will  you 

Make  that  sarcasmous  scandal  trne.t 

By  running  after  dogs  and  bears. 

Beasts  more  unclean  than  calves  or  steers?  580 

Have  pow'ri'nl  preachers  ply'd  their  tongues.t 

And  laid  themselves  out,  and  their  lungs ; 

Us'd  all  means,  both  direct  and  sinister, 

I'  th'  power  of  gospel-])reaching  minister? 

Have  they  invented  tones,  to  win  583 

The  women,  and  make  them  draw  in 

The  men  as  Indians  with  a  female 

Tame  elephant  inveigle  the  male?§ 

Have  they  told  prov'dence  what  it  must  do, 

Whom  to  avoid,  and  whom  to  trust  to?  590 

Discover'd  th'  enemy's  design. 

And  which  way  best  to  countermine  ; 

Prescribed  what  ways  he  hath  to  work. 

Or  it  will  ne'er  advance  the  kirk  ; 

Told  it  the  news  o'  th'  last  express,||  595 

And  after  good  or  bad  success 


*  Exod.  xxxii. 

t  Sarcasmus  is  here  converted  into  an  adjective. 

;  CHiauiy,  Case,  and  llie  other  dissenlins;  teachers,  exhorted 
Iheir  tlocks,  in  the  most  niovin";  lernis  and  tones,  to  contribute 
lliei.-  money  towards  tlie  snpiinrt  of  the  parliament  army. 

^  'J'he  method  by  wliich  elephants  are  caii<;ht,  is  by  placing  a 
tame  feniJxIe  elephant  within  an  inclosure,  who,  like  a  decoy- 
duck,  draws  in  tlie  male. 

II  The  prayers  of  the  Presbyterians,  in  those  days,  were  very 
historical.  Mr  G.  Swaithe,  in  his  Prayers,  p.  V2,  says,  "1  hear 
"  the  king  hath  set  up  his  st  indarcl  at  York,  against  ttie  parlia 
"  ment,  and  the  city  of  London.  Look  thou  upon  thcni ;  take 
■^  their  cause  in  thine  own  hand;  appear  thou  in  the  cause  of 
"thy  saints;  the  cause  in  hand." 

"'J'ell  thsni,  from  the  Holy  f! host,"  says  Beech,  "from  the 

word  of  tiulh.  that  their  destruction  shall  be  terrible,  it  shall 
"  be  timely,  it  shall  be  tot-il. 

"Give  thanks  unto  iho  Lord,  for  he  is  pracious,  and  his  mercy 
"endiireth  forever. — Who  remembered  us  at  Naseby,  for  his 
"  mercy  endureth  forever. 

"Who  renseinbered  us  in  Pcmlirokesliire.  for  his  mercy,  &c. 

"Who  rememliereil  us  at  Leicester,  for  his  mercy,  &c. 

"Who  remendiered  us  at  Taunton,  for  his  mercy,  &c. 

"Who  remetiibered  us  at  Hrisiol,  for  his  mercy,  &c."  See 
»prmon,  licensed  bj  Mr.  C'ranford,  l(i-45. — .Mr.  Pennington,  lord 
mayor,  in  his  order  to  the  London  ministers,  April,  H>4:J,  says, 
'■  Y'-M  »re  to  conunend  to  Coil  in  your  prayers,  the  lord  general. 
"tbe  <»hole  army  in  the  parliament  service;  as  also  in  yoai 


Canto  u.]  HUDIBRAS  t07 

Made  praj'crs,  not  so  liko  petitions, 

As  overtures  and  propositions, 

Sucli  as  tlio  army  did  present 

To  their  creator,  the  parliament ;  000 

lu  which  tlicy  freely  will  confess, 

They  will  not,  cannot  acquiesce. 

Unless  the  work  be  carry'd  on 

In  the  same  way  they  liave  begun. 

By  setting  churcli  and  common-weal  605 

All  on  a  ilame,  bright  as  their  zeal, 

On  which  the  saints  were  all  a-gog. 

And  all  this  for  a  bear  and  dog. 

The  parliament  drew  up  jietitions* 

To  'tself,  and  sent  them,  like  commissions,  mu 

To  well-affected  persons  down, 

In  every  city  and  great  town. 

With  pow'r  to  levy  horse  and  men. 

Only  to  bring  them  back  again  ; 

For  this  did  many,  many  a  mile,  613 

Kide  manfully  in  rank  and  file,- 

With  papei-s  in  their  hats,  that  shovv'd 

As  if  they  to  the  pillory  rode. 

Have  all  these  courses,  these  efforts. 

Been  try'd  by  people  of  all  sorts,  63( 

Velis  et  rernis,  omnibus  nervis.t 

And  all  t'  advance  the  cause's  service : 

And  shall  all  now  be  thrown  away 

In  petulant  intestine  fray  ? 

Shall  we,  that  in  the  cov'nant  swore,  625 

Each  man  of  U6  to  run  before 


'  sermons  eflectually  to  ^tir  up  the  people  lo  appear  in  person, 
'and  to  join  with  the  army,  and  t-he  coniniittee  for  the  militia  in 
'the  city." 

*  It  was  ciisfoniary  for  the  active  members  of  parliament  to 
draw  up  petitions  and  send  iheni  into  the  country  to  he  signeil. 
Lord  Clarendon  cliarges  them  with  altering  the  matter  of  the 
petition  after  it  was  signed  and  affixing  a  fresh  petition  to  the 
names.  The  Hertfordshire  petition,  at  the  beginning  of  the  war, 
took  notice  of  things  done  in  parliament  the  night  before  its 
delivery:  it  was  signed  by  many  thousands.  Another  petition 
was  presented,  beginning,  "  We  irien,  women,  children,  and 
"servants,  having  considered,"  &c.  Fifteen  tbousand  porters 
petitioned  against  the  bishops,  affirming  they  cannot  enduie  the 
xceight  of  episcopacy  any  longer. 

t  That  is,  with  all  their  might.  The  reader  will  remember, 
that  to  our  hero 

Latin  was  no  more  difficile 

1'ban  to  a  black-bird  'tis  lo  whistle.        Canto  i.  1.  53 


108  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  i 

Another*  still  in  reformation, 

Give  dogs  and  bears  a  dispensation  ? 

How  will  dissenting  brethren  relish  it? 

What  will  malignantst  say  ?  viaelicet,  031 

That  each  man  swore  to  do  h'fs  best, 

To  dam  and  perjure  all  the  rest ; 

And  bid  the  devil  take  the  hinmost, 

AVhich  at  this  race  is  like  to  win  most. 

They'll  say,  our  bus'ness  to  ;  eform  C35 

The  church  and  state  is  but  a  worm  ; 

For  to  subscribe,  unsiglit,  unseen. 

T'  an  unknown  churcli's  discipline, 

What  is  it  else,  but,  before  hand, 

T'  engage,  and  after  understand  ?  640 

For  when  we  swore  to  carry  on 

The  present  reformation, 

According  to  tiie  purest  mode 

Of  churches,  best  reform'd  abroad, t 

What  did  we  else  but  make  a  vow  C45 

To  do,  we  knew  not  wliut,  nor  how? 

For  no  three  of  us  will  agree 

Where,  or  what  churches  these  should  be. 

And  is  indeed  the  self-same  case 

With  theirs  that  swore  et  coeteras  ;§  650 


*  Tills  was  a  common  phrase  in  those  days,  particularly  with 
the  zealous  preachers,  and  is  inserted  in  the  solemn  league  and 
covenant. 

t  That  is,  the  king's  party ;  the  parliament  calling  their  op- 
ponents by  that  name. 

X  The  I'resliyterians  pretended  to  desire  such  a  reformation  aa 
had  taken  place  in  the  neij^hlioring  churches;  the  kin^  ottered  to 
invite  any  churches  to  a  national  synod,  and  could  not  even 
obtain  an  answer  to  the  proposal. 

Instead  of  taking  pattern  by  the  best  reformed  churches,  they 
would  have  had  other  reformed  churches  take  pattern  by  them. 
They  sent  letters,  and  their  covenant,  to  seventeen  foreign 
churches ;  hut  they  never  produced  the  answer  they  received 
from  any  of  them — a  plain  indication  that  protestanls  ab'oad  did 
not  approve  their  practices. 

§  ijy  the  convocation,  which  sat  in  the  beginning  of  1640,  all 
the  clergy  were  required  to  take  an  oath  in  this  form:  "Nor 
'•will  lever  give  my  consent  to  alter  the  government  of  this 
"  church  by  archbishops,  bishops,  deans,  archdeacons,  ct  C(Btcra." 
Pee  this  oath  at  length  in  Biographia  Brilannica,  and  Baxter's 
Life,  p.  15.  Dr.  IJeylin,  who  was  a  member  of  the  convoi'ation, 
lloclared,  that  the  words,  "  et  cajlera,"  were  an  oversight,  and  in- 
tended to  have  been  expunged  before  it  was  sent  to  the  press :  and 
beside,  that  the  oath  was  rendered  so  delerminalp,  and  the  words 
so  restrained  by  the  other  part,  that  there  could  be  no  danger 
no  mystery  or  iniquity  in  it.  Life  of  Archbishop  La-Jid ;  but 
Bnch  an  oath  could  not  be  justified,  as  every  oath  ought  to  be 
cl'iiu  and  determinate     See  ('levcland's  Poem,  p.  33. 


Canto  II.]  IILDIBRAS.  109 

Or  the  French  league,  in  which  men  vow'tl 

To  figiit  to  tlie  last  drop  of  blood.* 

These  slanders  will  be  thrown  upon 

The  cause  and  work  we  carry  on, 

If  we  permit  men  to  run  lieadlong  655 

T'  exorbitances  fit  for  Bedlam, 

Ratiier  than  gospel-walking  timcs,t 

When  slightest  sins  are  greatest  crimes. 

But  we  the  mattei  so  shall  handle, 

As  to  remove  that  odious  scandal.  G60 

In  name  of  king  and  parliament, t 

I  charge  ye  all,  no  more  foment 

This  feud,  but  keep  the  peace  between 

Your  brethren  and  your  countrymen  ; 

And  to  those  places  straight  repair  G65 

Where  j-our  respective  dwellings  are  : 

But  to  that  purpose  first  surrender 

The  fiddler,  as  the  prime  offender, § 

Th'  incendiary  vile,  that  is  chief 

Author,  and  engineer  of  mischief  ;  670 

Tliat  makes  division  between  friends, 

For  prophane  and  malignant  ends. 

Who  swears  et  ctPtera,  swears  more  oalhs  at  once 

'J'hiin  C'erl)crns,  out  of  his  triple  sconce; 

VV'lio  views  it  well,  with  the  same  eye  beholds 

The  old  I'aUe  serpent  in  his  numerous  folds 

Accurst  et  ctetera ! 

Then  finally,  my  babes  of  grace,  forbear, 

Et  ciL'tera  will  be  too  far  to  swear; 

For  'tis,  to  speak  in  a  familiar  stile, 

A  Yorkshire  wea-bit  longer  than  a  mile. 

Mr.  Butler  liere  shows  his  impartiality,  by  bantering  the  laults 
of  his  own  party. 

*  The  holy  le;igue  in  Prance,  1.57fi,  was  the  original  of  the 
Scotch  solemn  league  and  covenant:  they  are  often  compared 
together  l.y  Sir  William  Uiigiiale  and  others.  See  Satire  Me- 
nij:pi-e,  sometimes  called  the  French  Hudibras. 

f  This  is  one  of  the  cant  phrases  much  used  in  our  author's 
time. 

i  The  Presbyterians  made  a  distinction  between  the  king's 
person  politic,  and  his  person  natural :  when  they  fought  against 
the  latter,  it  was  in  defence  of  the  former,  always  inseparable 
from  the  parliament.  The  commission  granted  to  the  earl  of 
Essex  was  in  the  name  of  the  king  and  parliament.  But  when 
the  Independents  got  the  upper  hand,  the  name  of  the  king  was 
omitted,  and  the  conmiissiou  of  Sir  Thomas  Fairfa.x  ran  only  in 
ihe  name  of  the  parliament. 

§  See  the  fable  of  the  trumpeter,  who  was  put  to  death  foi 
setting  people  together  by  the  ears  without  fighting  himself.  II 
burlesques  the  clamors  made  by  the  parliament  against  evil 
counsellors;  to  which  clamors  were  sacrificed  Lord  StiuSbrd 
Archbishop  Laud,  and  others 


110 


nUUIBRAS.  [Part  i 


He  and  that  engine  of  vile  noise, 
On  which  illegally  he  plays, 

Shall,  dictum  factum,  both  be  brought  675 

To  condign  pun'shment  as  they  ought. 
This  must  be  done,  aiid  I  would  fain  see 
Mortal  so  sturdy  as  to  gain-say  : 
For  then  I'll  take  another  course. 
And  soon  reduce  you  all  by  force.  OSP 

This  said,  he  clapt  his  hand  on's  sword. 
To  shew  he  meant  to  keep  his  word. 
But  Talgol,  who  had  long  supprest 
Inflamed  wrath  in  glowing  breast,* 
Which  now  began  to  rage  and  burn  as  685 

Implacably  as  flame  in  furnace. 
Thus  answer'd  him  ;  Thou  vermin  wretched,t 
As  e'er  in  measled  pork  was  hatched  ;t 
Thou  tail  of  worship,  that  dost  grow 
On  rump  of  justice  as  of  cow  ;  690 

How  dar'st  thou  with  that  sullen  luggage 
O'  thyself,  old  irn§  and  other  baggage, 
With  which  thy  steed  of  bone  and  leather 
Has  broke  his  wind  in  halting  hither  ; 
How  durst  th',  I  say,  adventure  thus  695 

T'  oppose  thy  lumber  against  us? 
Could  thine  impertinence  find  out 
No  work  t'  employ  itself  about, 
Where  thou  secure  from  wooden  blow, 
Thy  busy  vanity  migiit  show  ?  TOO 

Was  no  dispute  afoot  between 
The  caterwauling  brethren  ? 
No  subtle  question  rais'd  among 
Those  out-o' -their  wits,  and  those  i'  th'  wrong  ? 


*  jEstuat  ingens 

Inio  in  corde  pudor,  niixlnque  insania  hictu, 
Et  furiis  acitatus  amor,  el  c.oiiscia  virtus. 

^neid.  X.  870. 

The  speech,  though  coarse,  and  becoming  the  mouth  of  a 
outcher,  is  an  excellent  satire  upon  the  justices  of  the  peace  ::i 
those  days,  who  were  often  shDcmakers,  tailors,  or  common  liv- 
ery servants.  Instead  of  makins:  peace  witli  their  neijjhbors, 
they  hunted  impertinently  for  trilling  offences,  and  severely  pun 
islied  them. 

t  Uon.-sr's  language  is  a'mo^st  as  coarse  in  the  following  line. 

OiiuSapis,  Kvvoi  luuaT^  tX^v,  Koailriv  6\^d(P'>to. 

XI.  1.  ?J5. 

I  Unhealthy  pigs  are  subject  to  an  eruption,  like  tte  ineaslna 
which  breeds  maggots,  or  vermin. 
^  Meaning  his  s«  ord  and  pistols. 


Canto  u.]  IIUDIBRAS.  U| 

No  prize  between  those  combatants  7T5 

O'  til'  times,  the  land  and  water  saints  ;* 

Wiiere  thou  might'st  sticklo  wilhoiil  hazard 

Of  oiilrage,  to  thy  hide  and  mazzard.t 

And,  not  for  want  of  bus'ncss,  comn 

To  us  to  be  thus  troublesome,  710 

To  interrupt  our  better  sort 

Of  disputants,  and  spoil  our  sport  ? 

Was  there  no  felony,  no  bawd. 

Cut-purse, t  nor  burglary  abroad  ? 

No  stolen  pig,  nor  plunder'd  goose,  715 

To  tie  thee  up  from  breaking  loose? 

No  ale  nnlicens'd,  broken  hedge, 

For  which  thou  statute  might'st  alledge. 

To  keep  thee  busy  from  foul  evil. 

And  shame  due  to  thee  from  the  devil  ?  720 

Did  no  committee  sit,§  where  ho 

Might  cut  out  journey-work  for  thee  ; 

And  set  th'  a  task  with  snbornation. 

To  stitch  up  sale  and  sequestration  ; 


*  That  is,  the  Presbyterians  and  Anabaptists. 

t  Face,  i)erliaps  from  the  Latin,  maxilla ;  and  the  French, 
xachoire.  [More  probably  from  mazer,  a  cup,  from  the  Dutch, 
niaeser,  a  knot  of  maple  : 

A  mazer  ywrought  of  the  maple  ware. 

Spenser,  Shep.  Cal.  Aug.  v.  2G. 

That  the  name  of  the  cup  should  be  transferred  to  the  toper, 
seems  not  at  all  inconsistent  with  the  etymology  of  burlesque 
words  ;  the  northern  custom  of  drinking  out  of  the  skull  of  an 
enemy,  and  the  southern  tashion  of  adorning  cups  with  grotesque 
heads,  lend  a  probability  to  this  derivation,  which  is  somewhat 
helped  by  the  words  of  Minshew,  sub  voce  mazer; — "  eniin 
"  porula  plerimquc  sunt  acerna,  facta  ex  tornatis  hujus  ligni  ra- 
"  dicibus,  q  1^  propter  multiculorcs  veiias,  maculasque  variegataa 
"aspectu  jucunda  sunt,  et  niensis  gratlssima."  Mazer  is  used 
for  a  head,  seriously,  by  Sylvester ;  and  ludicrously  in  two  old 
plays.     Mazer  became  mazzard,  as  vizor  became  vizard. 

Archdeacon  Nares  very  justly  observes,  that  the  derivation 
from  machoire,  a  jaw,  is  contradicted  by  Shakspeare  ; — 

i/am.  This  (sAii//)  might  be  my  lord  such-a-one Why, 

e'en  so :  and  now  my  lady  Worm's  ;  chaptess,  and  knock'd 
about  the  mazzard  with  a  sexton's  spade. ■) 

X  Men  formerly  hung  their  purses,  by  a  silken  or  leathern 
strap,  to  their  belts,  on  the  outside  of  their  garments,  as  ladies 
now  wear  watciies.  See  the  figures  on  old  monuments.  Hence 
the  miscreant,  whom  we  now  denominate  a  pickpocket,  was 
Ihen  proi)erly  a  cutpurse. 

$  In  many  counties,  certain  persons  appointed  by  the  parlia 
inent  to  promote  their  interest,  had  power  to  raise  money  for 
their  use,  and  to  punish  their  opponents  by  fine  and  imprison- 
ment: these  persons  so  associated  were  called  a  committet 
Walker's  Sufferings  of  the  Episcopal  Clergy,  part  i. 
10 


112  HLDIBRAS.  [Pari  J 

To  cheat,  with  .loliiifss  and  zeal,  721 

All  parties,  and  the  conimou-wcal  ? 

Much  better  had  it  been  for  thee, 

H'  had  kept  thee  where  th'  art  us'd  to  be  ; 

Or  sent  tli'  on  business  any  whitlier,* 

So  he  had  never  brougiit  thee  hither.  730 

But  if  th'  hast  brain  enough  in  skull 

To  keep  within  liis  lodging  whole. 

And  not  provoke  the  rage  of  stones, 

And  cudgels,  to  thy  hide  and  bones  ; 

Tremble,  and  vanish  while  thou  may'st,  733 

Which  ril  not  promise  if  thou  stay'st. 

At  this  the  Knight  grew  high  in  wroth, 
And  lifting  hands  and  eyes  up  botii. 
Three  times  he  smote  on  stomach  stout. 
From  whence,  at  length,  these  words  broke  out       40 

Was  I  for  this  entit'led  Sir, 
And  girt  with  trusty  sword  and  spur, 
For  fame  and  honour  to  wage  battle. 
Thus  to  be  brav'd  by  foe  to  cattle  ? 
Not  all  the  pride  that  makes  thee  swellt  74i 

As  big  as  thou  dost  blown-up  veal  ; 
Nor  all  thy  tricks  and  slights  to  cheat. 
And  sell  thy  carrion  for  good  meat ; 
Not  all  thy  magic  to  repair 

Decay'd  old  age,  in  tough  lean  ware,  756 

Make  natural  death  appear  thy  work, 
And  stop  the  gangrene  in  stale  pork  ; 
Not  all  that  force  tiiat  makes  thee  proud, 
Because  by  bullock  ne'er  withstood : 
Tho'  arm'd  with  all  thy  cleavers,  knives,  '    753 

And  axes  made  to  hew  down  lives, 


*  Sir  Samuel  Luke  was  scout-master  in  the  parliauient-army 
hence  the  poet  supposes  Iludibras  niijili'.  be  sent  on  errands  bj 
tlie  devil. 

t  Oi,K  ay  TOL  xpafo'/','/  nidaptf,  rd  re  iiUp'  'A(^f)o5«rij9, 
"U  re  /crf/ii;,  t6,  tc  ilioi,  or'  iv  Koiiflai  fiiydrii. 

Ilunier.  Iliad,  iii.  54. 

Nequicquani,  Veneris  prxsidio  ferox, 
Pectes  ca;sarieni :  i^rataque  leininis 
Imlielli  cithara  carinina  divides: 

Nequicquani  thalaino  graves 
Ilastas,  et  calami  spicula  Cnossii 
Vitabis,  strepituinque,  et  celereni  sequi 
Ajacem.    Tanien,  hen,  serus  adulleros 

Chnes  palvere  collsnes. 

Hor.  Carni   lib.  i  15 


Canto  ji.1  HUDIBKAS. 

Sliall  save,  or  help  thee  to  evado 

Tlio  hand  of  justice,  or  this  blade, 

Which  I,  her  sword-bearer,  do  carry, 

For  civil  deed  and  niilitarj\ 

Nor  shall  these  words  of  venom  base. 

Which  thou  hast  from  their  native  place. 

Thy  stomach,  punip'd  to  fling  on  me, 

Go  unreveng'd,  though  I  am  free.* 

Thou  down  the  same  throat  shalt  devour  'em 

Like  tainted  beef,  and  pay  dear  for  'on. 

Nor  shall  it  e'er  be  said,  that  wight 

With  gantlet  blue,  and  bases  white, t 

And  round  blunt  truncheon  by  his  side,t 

So  great  a  man  at  arms  defy'd. 

With  words  far  bitterer  than  wormwood. 

That  would  in  Job  or  Grizxd  stir  mood.§ 

Dogs  with  their  tongues  their  wounds  do  heal ; 

But  men  with  hands,  as  thou  shalt  feel. 

This  said,  with  hasty  rage  he  snatch'd 
His  gun-shot,  that  in  holsters  watch'd  ; 


113 


*  Free,  that  is,  untouched  by  your  accusations,  as  being  free 
from  wliat  you  charge  ine  with. 

t  Meaning  his  blue  cufl's,  ami  white  apron.  Gauntlet  win 
iron  armor  which  warriors  wore  on  their  hands,  and  lower  part 
of  their  arms.  [Bases,  a  mantle  which  liung  from  the  middle  to 
about  the  knees  or  lower,  worn  by  knijihts  on  horseback.]  IJis 
apron  reached  the  ground,  and  is  therefore  called  bases. 

i  That  is,  the  steel  on  which  a  butcher  whets  his  knife.  In 
some  editions  it  is  dudgcuv,  that  is,  a  short  weapon. 

§  The  patience  of  the  forjuer  is  well  known  :  that  of  the  lat- 
ter is  celebrated  in  Chaucer  and  several  old  writers.  Chaucer 
vol.  ii.,  the  Clerk's  Tale,  ed.  Tyrwhitt,  8vo.  The  story  is  taken 
from  Petrarch,  for  Chaucer  says, 

As  was  Grisilde,  therefore  Petrark  writeth 
This  storie,  which  with  Mgh  stile  he  enditeth. 

The  tract  is  entitled,  De  obedicntiil  et  fi<ic  uxoria  inytholoaia. 
Its  i)rincipal  circumstances  are  tliese  : — Walter,  marquis  of  Sa- 
iuces,  in  Lower  Loinbardy,  had  a  mind  to  make  trial  of  his 
wife's  patience  and  obvdionce.  He  first  sent  some  ruffians  to 
take  away  her  son  and  daughter,  apparently  with  intent  to  mur- 
der them  :  then  clothed  her  in  the  mean  apparel  which  she  had 
formerly  worn  ;  for  she  was  a  person  of  low  birth  ;  sent  her 
home  to  her  father's  cottage  ;  pretended  that  his  subjects  were 
displeased  at  his  unequal  match,  and  that  he  had  obtained  a 
dispensation  from  the  pope  to  marry  another  woman  of  equai 
rank  with  himself.  All  this,  patient  Grizel  bore  with  great  re 
signation  and  good  humor;  till  at  last  the  marquis  disclosed  the 
artifice,  and  proved  thenceforth  a  kind  and  alTeclionate  husband 
-^Chaucer  again  observes. 

That  wedded  men  ne  connen  no  measure 
When  that  they  find  a  patient  creature. 


114  HUUIBRAS.  [Partv 

And  bending  cock,  he  Icvell'd  full 

Against  tii'  outside  of  Talgol's  skull  ; 

Vowing  that  he  sliould  ne'er  stir  further, 

Nor  henceforth  cow  or  bullock  rnurther.  780 

But  Pallas  came  in  shape  oi  rust,* 

And  'iv.-ixt  the  spring  and  hammer  thrust 

Her  gorgon-shicld,  wiiicli  made  the  cockt 

Stand  stifi'as  if  'twere  turn"d  t'  a  stock. 

Mean  while  fierce  Talgol  gath'ring  might,  785 

With  rugged  truncheon  charg'd  the  Knight : 

And  ho  his  rusty  pistol  held, 

To  take  the  blow  on,  like  a  shield ; 

The  gun  rocoil'd,  as  well  it  might, 

Not  us'd  to  such  a  kind  of  fight.  7!»0 

And  shrunk  from  its  grea*  master's  gripe, 

Knock'd  down,  and  stunn'd,  with  mortal  stripe: 

Then  Hudibras,  with  furious  haste. 

Drew  out  his  sword  ;  yet  not  so  fast. 

But  Talgol  first,  with  hardy  thwack,  795 

Twice  bruis'd  his  head,  and  twice  his  back  ; 

But  when  his  nut-brown  sword  was  out, 

Courageously  he  laid  about. 

Imprinting  many  a  wound  upon 

His  mortal  foe,  the  truncheon.  BOO 

The  trusty  cudgel  did  oppose 

Itself  against  dead-doing  blows. 

To  guard  its  leader  from  fell  bane. 

And  then  reveng'd  itself  again  : 

And  though  the  sword,  some  understood,  805 

In  force,  liad  much  the  odds  of  wood  ; 

'Twas  nothing  so,  botii  sides  were  balanc't 

So  equal,  none  knew  which  was  valiaut'st. 

For  wood  with  honour  b'ing  engag'd. 

Is  so  implacably  enrag'd,  8!0 

Though  iron  hew  and  mangle  sore. 

Wood  wounds  and  bruises  honour  more. 


*  A  banter  upon  Homer,  Virgil,  and  other  epic  poets,  who 
liave  always  a  deity  at  hanil  to  jmnect  their  heroes, 
t  In  some  editions  the  next  lines  are  printed  thus, 

which  marie  the  cock 

f«tand  stiff;  as  t'vvere  transl'orni'd  to  stock 
Meanwhile  fierce  Talgol,  gatlrrin};  might. 
With  rugged  trnncheon  charg'd  the  knight, 
Bill  he,  with  petronel  iipheav'd, 
lnstca<l  of  shield,  the  blow  receiv'd. 
Petronel  is  a  horseman's  gun,  but  here  it  must  signify  a  pliitol 
!:3  it  does  nut  appear  that  Hudibras  carried  a  carbine 


Canto  II.]  IIUDIBIIAS.  115 

And  now  both  knights  were  out  of  bicatli, 

Tir'd  ill  tlio  hot  pursuit  of  death  ; 

Wliilst  all  the  rest,  aniuz'd  stood  still,  613 

Expectinir  which  should  take,*  or  kill. 

This  Ilndibrasobserv'd,  and  frelling 

Conquest  should  he  so  long  a  getting, 

He  drew  up  all  his  force  into 

One  body,  and  that  into  one  blow.  8U 

But  Talgol  wisely  avoided  it 

by  cunning  slight  ;  for  had  it  hit 

The  upper  part  of  liini,  the  blow 

Had  slit,  as  sure  as  that  below. 

Meanwhile  th'  incomparable  Colon,  825 

To  aid  bis  friend,  began  to  fall  on  : 
Iliin  Ralph  encounter'd,  and  straight  grew, 
A  dismal  combat  'twixt  them  two  :t 
Tir  one  arm'd  with  metal,  th'  other  with  wood  ;l 
This  fit  for  bruise,  and  that  for  blood.  830 

With  many  a  stiii' thwack,  many  a  bang, 
Hard  crab-tree,  and  old  iron  rang  ;§ 
While  none  that  saw  them  could  divine 
To  which  side  conquest  would  incline. 
Until  Magnano,  who  did  envy  835 

That  two  should  with  s«  many  men  vie, 
By  subtle  stratagem  of  brain 
Perform'd  what  force  could  ne'er  attain. 
For  he,  by  foul  hap,  having  found 
Where  thistles  grew  on  barren  ground,  840 

In  haste  he  drew  his  weapon  out. 
And  having  cropp'd  them  from  the  root, 
He  clapp'd  them  under  th'  horee's  tail,|| 
With  prickles  sharper  than  a  nail. 
The  angry  beast  did  straight  resent  845. 

The  wrong  done  to  his  fundament. 
Began  to  kick,  and  fling,  and  wince, 
As  if  h'  had  been  beside  his  sense. 
Striving  to  disengage  from  smart 
And  raging  pain,  th'  afflicted  part ;  850 

Instead  of  which  he  threw  the  pack 
Of  Squire  and  baggage  from  his  back  ; 

*  Take,  that  is,  take  prisoner,  as  hi  verso  905,  But  look  none. 

*  In  some  editions, 

A  fierce  dispute  between  them  two. 
%  In  some  editions  we  read, — th'  otlier  wood. 
j  Here  the  sound  is  an  echo  ti>  the  sense. 
(1  The  same  trick  was  played  tipon  Don  Quixote's  Kosinante 
anil  Rancho's  dapple.    P.  ii.  lib.  viii.  c.  01,  ed.  Granville. 


,16  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part 

Ana  blund'ring  still  witli  smarting  rump, 

He  gave  the  cliainpiou's  steed  a  tliump 

That  stagger'd  him.     The  Kuiglit  did  sloop,  851 

And  sat  on  furtiicr  side  aslope. 

This  Talgol  viewing,  who  had  now, 

By  flight,  escap'd  the  fatal  blow. 

He  rally'd,  and  again  fell  to't ; 

For  catching  foe  by  nearer  foot,  880 

He  lifted  with  such  might  and  strength, 

As  would  have  hurl'd  liim  thrice  his  length, 

And  dash'd  his  brains,  if  any,  out: 

But  Mars,  who  still  protects  the  stout. 

In  puddiiig-timc  came  to  his  aid,  865 

And  under  him  the  bear  convey 'd  ; 

The  bear,  upon  whose  soft  fiir-gown 

The  Knight,  with  all  his  weight,  fell  down. 

The  friendly  rug  presei-v'd  the  ground, 

And  headlong  Knight,  from  bruise  or  wound:  870 

Like  feather-bed  bctvvi.xt  a  wall. 

And  heavy  brunt  of  cannon-ball. 

As  Sancho  on  a  blanket  fell,* 

And  had  no  hurt ;  ours  far'd  as  well 

In  body,  though  his  mighty  spirit,  87j 

B"ing  heavy,  did  not  so  well  bear  it. 

The  bear  was  in  a  greater  fright, 

Beat  down,  and  worsted  by  the  Knight; 

He  roar'd,  and  rag'd,  and  flung  about. 

To  shake  off  bondage  from  his  snout.  880 

His  wrath  inflam'd  boil'd  o'er,  and  from 

His  jaws  of  death,  he  threw  the  foam ; 

Fury  in  stranger  postures  threw  him. 

And'  more  than  ever  herald  drew  him. 

He  tore  the  earth,  which  he  had  sav'd  HH3 

From  squelch  of  Knight,  and  storm'd,  and  rav'd ; 

And  vex'd  the  more,  because  the  harms 

Ho  felt  were  'gainst  the  law  of  arms; 

For  men  he  always  took  to  be 

His  friends,  and  dogs  the  enemy,  890 

Who  never  so  much  hurt  had  done  him. 

As  his  own  side  did  falling  on  him. 

It  griev'd  him  to  the  guts,  that  they, 

For  whom  h'  had  fought  so  many  a  fray, 

And  sei-v'd  with  loss  of  blood  so  long,  895 

Should  offer  such  inhuman  wrong  ; 

Wrong  of  unsoldier-iike  condition  ; 

*  Sancbo's  adventure  at  the  inn,  being  tossed  in  a  blanket. 


Canto  ii.]  ilUDIBRAS.  ip 

For  wliich  lio  flMn;;^  down  iiis  coiniuibsioii,* 

And  laid  about  liini,  till  liis  noso 

From  thrall  of  rin<r  and  cord  broke  loose.  9to 

Soon  as  he  felt  hinisell'  enlarg'd, 

Through  thickest  of  his  foes  he  charg'd, 

And  made  way  through  th'  amazed  crew, 

Some  lie  o'er-ran,  and  some  o'erthrew, 

But  took  none  ;  for,  by  iiasty  flight,  005 

He  strove  t'avoid  the  conquering  Knight, 

From  whom  he  fled  with  as  much  haste 

And  dread,  as  he  the  rabble  chau'd. 

In  haste  he  fled,  and  so  did  they, 

Each  and  his  fear  a  several  way.t  910 

Crowdcro  only  kept  the  field, 
Not  stirring  from  the  place  he  held. 
Though  beaten  down,  and  wounded  sore, 
r  th'  tiddle,  and  a  leg  that  bore 

One  side  of  him,  not  that  of  bone,  915 

But  much  its  better,  th'  wooden  one. 
He  spying  Hudibras  lie  strow'd 
Upon  the  ground,  like  log  of  wood, 
Witii  fright  of  fall,  supposed  wound, 
And  loss  of  urine,  in  a  swound  ;  930 

In  haste  he  snatch'd  the  wooden  limb, 
That  hurt  in  th'  ankle  lay  by  him. 
And  fitting  it  for  sudden  fight. 
Straight  drew  it  up,  t'attack  the  Knight, 
For  getting  up  on  stump  and  huckle,  925 

He  with  the  foe  began  to  buckle, 
Vowing  to  be  reveng'd  for  breach 
Of  crowd  and  shin  upon  the  wretch, 
Sole  author  of  all  detriment 
He  and  his  fiddle  underwent.  930 

But  Ralpho,  who  had  now  begun 
T'  adventure  resurrection^ 
From  heavy  squelch,  and  had  got  up 


*  Bishop  VVKrInirton  remarks  on  this  line,  that,  during  the 
tivil  wars,  it  was  the  usual  way  for  those  of  either  party,  at  a 
distressful  juncture,  to  come  to  the  kinK  or  parliament  with  some 
nnreasonahle  demands,  and  if  they  were  not  complied  with,  to 
throw  up  their  commissions,  and  go  over  to  the  op()osite  side: 
pretending  that  they  could  not  in  honor  serve  any  longer  un- 
der such  unsoldierlike  indignities.  Those  unhappy  times  af 
forded  uuiny  inst;uiccs  of  the  kind,  in  Hurry,  Middlelon.  CnoDor 
&.C.,  &c. 

t  His  fear,  that  is,  that  which  he  feared. 

i  A  ridicule  on  the  sectaries,  who  were  fond  of  using  Scrip 
tare  phrases. 


lis  HUDIBUAS.  Pabt  i 

Upon  hie  legs  with  sprained  crup, 

Looking  about  belield  tho  bard  93i 

To  clmrge  the  Knight  entraiic'd  prepar'd, 

Ho  snatch'd  his  whiuiard  up,  that  fled 

When  he  was  falhug  olT  liis  steed, 

As  rats  do  from  a  fulling  house, 

To  hide  itself  from  rage  of  blows ;  940 

And  wing'd  with  speed  and  fury  flew 

To  rescue  Knight  from  blacli  and  blue. 

Wliich  ere  he  could  atchieve,  his  sconce 

Tho  'eg  encounler'd  twice  and  once  ;* 

And  now  'twas  raised,  to  smite  agen,  045 

When  Ralpho  thrust  himself  between 

He  took  the  blow  upon  liis  arm, 

To  shield  the  Kniglit  from  further  harm ; 

And  joining  wratii  with  force,  bestow'd 

O'  th'  wooden  member  such  a  load,  950 

That  down  it  fell,  and  with  it  bore 

Crowdero,  whom  it  propped  before. 

To  him  the  Squire  right  nimbly  run. 

And  setting  his  bold  foot  upon 

His  trunk,  tlius  spoke  :  Wliat  dcsp'rate  frenzy       9.'>5 

Made  thee,  thou  whelj)  of  sin,  to  fancy 

Thyself,  and  all  that  coward  rabble, 

T'  encounter  us  in  battle  able? 

How  durst  til',  I  say,  oppose  thy  curship 

'Gainst  arms,  authority,  and  worship,  90n 

And  Hudibras,  or  me  provoke, 

Ttiough  all  thy  limbs  were  heart  of  oak,t 

And  til'  other  half  of  thee  as  good 

To  bear  out  blows  as  that  of  wood  ? 

Could  not  the  whipping-post  prevail  965 

With  all  its  rhet'ric,  nor  the  jail. 

To  keep  from  flaying  scourge  thy  skin, 

And  ankle  free  from  iron  gin  ? 

Which  now  thou  shalt — but  first  our  care 

Must  see  how  Hudibras  doth  fare.t  970 

This  said,  he  gently  rais'd  the  Knight, 


*  Thus  Justice  Silence,  in  Henry  IV.  Act  v.  "  Who  11  1  have 
■'  been  merry  twice  and  once  ere  now."     And  the  witch  in  Mac 
helh.  Act  V.  "  Twice  and  once  the  hedge  p\s  whin'd." 
t  Thus  Hector  braves  Achilles. 

ToB  i5'  iyH  avTioi  clfti,  Kni  el  irvpi  Xf7paf  ioiKtv, 
Kj  Kupl  xti'puj  i'oiKC,  utvoi  (5'  atOu)n  oibfipif. 

Horn.  Ihad.  lib.  xx.  371. 

t  Imitating  Virgil's  Quos  ego — sed  motos,  &.C. 


J^AMTOii.]  IIUDIBRAS  118 

And  set  Iiiin  on  liis  bum  upriglit : 

To  rouze  liim  fntrii  letJuirgic  diini[),* 

He  tweak'd  liis  nose,  willi  {jpntic  lliiimp 

Knock'd  on  his  breast,  as  il't  liad  been  073 

To  raise  the  spirits  lodg'd  within. 

Tliey  waken'd  with  the  noise,  did  fly 

From  inward  room,  to  window  eye. 

And  gently  op'ning  lid,  the  casement, 

Look'd  out,  but  yet  with  some  amazemeut.  930 

This  gladded  Ralpho  much  to  see. 

Who  thus  bespoke  the  Knight:  quoth  he, 

Tweaking  his  nose,  you  are,  great  Sir, 

A  self-denying  conqueror  ;t 

As  high,  victorious,  and  great,  SRS 

As  e'er  fought  for  the  Clinrches  yet, 

If  you  will  give  yourself  but  leave 

To  make  out  what  y'  already  have ; 

That's  victory.     The  foe,  for  dread 

Of  your  nine-worthiness,!  is  fled,  990 

All,  save  Crowdero,  for  whose  sake 

You  did  th'  cspous'd  cause  undertake ; 

And  he  lies  pris'ner  at  your  feet, 

To  be  dispos'd  as  you  think  meet, 

Either  for  life,  or  death,  or  sale,  995 

The  gallows,  or  perpetual  jail ; 

For  one  wink  of  your  pow'rful  eyo 

Must  sentence  him  to  live  or  die. 

His  fiddle  is  your  proper  purchase. 

Won  in  the  service  of  the  Cliurciies  ,  lOOO 

And  by  your  doom  must  be  allow"d 

To  be,  or  be  no  more,  a  Crowd : 

For  tho'  success  did  not  confer 

Just  title  on  the  conqueror  ;§ 

Tho'  dispensations  were  not  strong  lUOS 

Conclusions,  whether  right  or  wrong ; 


*  Compare  this  with  the  situation  of  Hector,  who  was  stunned 
by  a  severe  lilow  received  from  Ajax,  and  comforted  by  Apollo 
—Iliad,  .vv.  V.  240. 

*  Ridiculing  the  self-denying  ordinance,  by  which  the  mem 
bcrs  of  both  houses  were  oblijjed  to  quit  theireiiiployrnents,  both 
civil  and  military;  notwithstamling  wliich  Sir  Samuel  Luke  was 
continued  governor  of  Newport  Pagnel  for  some  time. 

{  Thrice  worthy  is  a  common  appellation  in  romances;  but, 
In  the  opinion  of  the  squire,  would  have  been  a  title  not  equiva 
lent  to  the  knight's  desert.  See  the  History  of  the  Nine  Worthies 
of  the  World;  and  Fresnoy  on  Romances. 

5  Success  was  pleaded  by  the  Presbyterians  as  an  eviden) 
oroof  of  the  justice  of  their  cause. 


IQO  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  i 

Allho'  out-goings  did  confirm  * 

And  owning  were  but  a  mere  term ; 

Yet  as  llie  wicked  have  no  right 

To  th'  creature,+  tho'  usnrp'd  by  miglit,  mo 

The  property  is  in  tlio  saint, 

From  whom  tii'  injuriously  detaiu't ; 

Of  !iim  tiiey  hold  tiicir  luxuries, 

Their  dogs,  their  horses,  whores,  and  dice, 

Their  riots,  revels,  masks,  delights,  lOH 

Pimps,  buffoons,  fiddlers,  parasites ; 

All  which  the  saints  have  title  to. 

And  ought  t'  enjoy,  if  th'  had  their  due. 

What  we  take  from  tliem  is  no  more 

Than  what  was  ours,  by  right  before  ;  losjo 

For  we  are  their  true  landlords  still, 

And  they  our  tenants  but  at  will. 

At  this  the  Knight  begadi  to  rouse, 
And  by  degrees  grow  valorous : 

He  star'd  about,  and  seeing  none  1025 

Of  all  his  foes  remain  but  one, 
He  snatch'd  his  weapon  that  lay  near  bini, 
And  from  the  ground  began  to  rear  him, 
Vowing  to  make  Crowdero  pay 

For  all  the  rest  that  ran  awaj'.  1030 

But  Kalpho  now  in  colder  blood. 
His  fury  mildly  thus  withstood: 
Great  Sir,  quoth  he,  your  mighty  spirit 
Is  rais'd  too  high  ;  this  slave  does  merit 
To  be  the  hangman's  bus'ness,  sooner  1035 

Than  from  your  hand  to  have  the  honour 
Of  his  destruction  ;  I  that  am 
So  much  below  in  deed  and  name, 
Did  scorn  to  hurt  his  forfeit  carcase, 
Or  ill  entreat  his  fiddle  or  case  :  1040 

Will  you,  great  Sir,  that  glory  blot 
In  cold  blood,  which  you  gain'd  in  hot? 
Will  you  employ  your  conquering  sword 
'To  break  a  fiddle,  and  your  v.-ord? 
For  tho'  I  fought  and  overcame,  I04i 

And  quarter  gave,  'twas  in  your  name: 
For  great  commanders  always  own 
What's  prosp'rous  by  the  soldier  done. 

*  In  some  editions  we  reail, — did  not  confirm. 

T  It  was  a  principle  maintained  hy  the  Independents  of  those 
days,  that  dominion  was  founded  in  grace ;  and,  therefore,  if  a 
man  were  not  a  saint,  or  a  godly  man,  he  cculd  have  no  right  t« 
nny  lands  or  chattels. 


Canto  II.  1  IIUDIBRAS.  131 

To  save,  vvlicre  you  have  pavv'r  to  kill, 

Argues  your  pow'r  above  your  will ;  lOr* 

Aud  that  your  will  aud  pow'r  have  less 

Thau  both  luijjht  have  of  sclfisliuess, 

This  pow'r  whicli  uow  alive,  with  dmad 

lie  trembles  at,  if  he  were  dead. 

Would  uo  more  keep  the  slave  in  awe,  IO55 

riiau  if  you  were  a  knight  of  straw  ; 

I'or  death  would  then  be  his  conqueror, 

Not  you,  and  free  him  from  that  terror. 

If  danger  from  his  life  accrue, 

Or  honour  from  his  death  to  you,  lOGO 

'Twere  policy,  and  honour  too, 

To  do  as  you  resolv'd  to  do: 

But,  Sir,  'twou'd  wrong  your  valour  much, 

To  say  it  needs,  or  fears  a  crutch. 

Great  conqu'rors  greater  glory  gain  1005 

By  foes  in  triumph  led,  than  slain  : 

The  laurels  that  adorn  their  brows 

Are  puH'd  from  living,  not  dead  boughs. 

And  living  foes  ;  the  greatest  fame 

Of  cripple  slain  can  be  but  lame:  IO70 

One  half  of  him's  already  slain,* 

The  other  is  not  worth  your  pain  ; 

Th'  honour  can  but  on  one  side  light, 

As  worship  did,  when  y'were  dubb'd  Knight. t 

Wherefore  I  think  it  better  far  1075 

To  keep  him  prisoner  of  war  ; 

And  let  him  fast  in  bonds  abide. 

At  court  of  justice  to  be  try'd  : 

Where,  if  h'  appear  so  bold  or  crafty. 

There  may  be  danger  in  liis  safety  ;t  1080 


*  This  reminds  me  of  the  supplication  of  a  lame  musician  in 
Uie  Anthology,  p.  5,  ed.  II.  Staph. 

Ki^tffu  /iw  Tidi'^Kt,  TO  6'>]iii(Tv  Ai/jcif  iXiyxci, 
Xwffd*'  fta  (iaciXcv,  jxnaiKdv  fijiirovov. 

t  The  honor  of  kni«!hthood  is  conferred  by  the  l<ing's  laying 
his  s\>  jrd  uiion  the  person's  shoulder,  and  saying,  "  Arise, 
Sir ." 

X  Cromwell's  speech  in  the  cnse  of  Lord  Capel  may  serve  to 
explain  this  line:  he  begun  with  lii;;h  enciimiums  of  his  merit, 
capacity,  and  honor;  but  when  every  one  expected  that  he 
would  have  voted  to  save  his  lite,  he  told  them  that  the  question 
Dcfore  tliein  was,  whether  they  woulil  preserve  the  greatest  and 
most  dangerous  enemy  that  the  Ciiuse  had?  that  he  Knew  my 
Liwd  Capel  well,  and  knew  him  so  firndy  attached  to  the  royal 
inloresl,  lliat  he  would  never  desert  it,  or  acquiesce  under  any 
esUiblishment  contrary  V.  it. — Clarendon. 


22  HUDIBRAS.  rpART 

If  any  member  tliere  dislike 

His  face,  or  to  liis  beard  liave  pike  ;* 

Or  if  his  death  will  save,  or  yield 

Revenge  or  fright,  it,  is  reveal'd : 

The'  he  has  quarter,  iic'erihcler>s  lo^ 

Y'  have  pow'r  to  hang  him  v/hen  you  pleass ; 

This  has  been  often  done  by  some 

Of  our  great  conqu'rors,  you  know  whom  ; 

And  has  by  most  of  us  been  held 

Wise  justice,  and  to  some  reveal'd  :  io9<i 

For  words  and  promises,  that  yoke 

The  conqueror,  are  quickly  broke ; 

Like  Sampson's  cuffs,  tho'  by  his  own 

Direction  and  advice  put  on. 

For  if  we  should  fight  for  the  cause  loas 

By  rules  of  military  laws. 

And  only  do  what  they  call  just. 

The  cause  would  (piickly  fall  to  dust. 

This  we  among  ourselves  may  speak  ; 

But  to  the  wicked  or  the  weak  llon 

We  must  be  cautious  to  declare 

Perfection-truths,  such  as  these  are.t 


*  Doubtless,  particular  instances  are  here  alluded  to."  It  is 
notorious  that  the  lords  and  others  wore  condemned  or  pardoned, 
as  their  personal  interests  prevailed  more  or  less  in  the  house. 
A  whimsical  instance  of  mercy  was  the  panlon  indulged  to  Sir 
John  Owen,  a  Welsh  [gentleman,  who  being  tried,  together  with 
the  lords  Capel,  Holland,  Loughborough,  and  others;  Ireton, 
rather  to  insult  the  nobility  than  from  any  principle  of  compas- 
sion, observed  that  much  endeavor  had  been  used  to  preserve 
each  of  the  lords,  but  here  was  a  poor  commoner,  whom  no  one 
had  spoke  for;  he  therefore  moved  that  he  might  be  pardoned 
by  the  mere  grace  of  the  house.  Sir  John  was  a  man  of  humor- 
ous intrepidity ;  when  he,  with  the  lords,  was  condemned  to  be 
beheaded,  he  made  his  judges  a  low  bow,  and  gave  his  humble 
thanks;  at  which  a  by-stander,  surprised,  asked  him  what  he 
meant?  To  which  the  knight,  with  a  broad  o:ith,  replied,  that, 
"  It  was  a  great  honor  to  a  poor  gentleman  of  Wales  to  lose 
"his  head  with  such  noble  lords,  for,  in  truth,  he  was  afraid  they 
''  would  have  hanged  him."  See  Clarendon,  Rushworth,  White- 
locke,  and  Pennant's  Tour  to  Wales,  in  1773,  page  21)4.  The 
parliament  was  charged  with  setting  aside  the  articles  of  capitu- 
lation agreed  to  by  its  generals,  and  killing  prisoners  after  quarter 
had  been  granted  them,  on  pretence  of  a  revelation  that  such  a 
one  ought  to  die.  Sec  also  the  case  of  t-iic  surrender  of  Pen- 
dennis  castle. 

t  Truths  revealed  only  to  the  perfect,  or  the  initiated  into  the 
higher  mysteries. 

4'9f'}f);iui,  o(f  (fiiiiti  iariv,  ikus,  tKa;  iaTC  6i6tj\ot. 

fA  line  made  up  from  the  Fragments  of  Oroheus  and  the  Hymn 
tn  Apollo  of  C'aUlmachus.'i 


•;ANro  11.]  ITUDIBllAS.  123 

This  said,  Iho  high  oiitragreous  mettio 
Of  Kii.ght  beirun  to  cool  and  settle. 
He  liii'd  the  JSqiiire's  advice  and  soon  jlOS 

Resolv'd  to  SCO  tlio  biis'ness  done  ; 
And  therefore  churg'd  iiini  first  to  bind 
Crowdcro's  hands  on  rump  bciiind, 
And  to  its  former  place,  and  use, 
The  wooden  member  to  reduce  ;  ]110 

But  force  it  take  an  oath  before, 
Ne'er  to  bear  arms  against  him  more.* 

Raipho  dispatch'd  with  speedy  hasto, 
And  having  ty'd  Crowdero  fast, 

He  gave  Sir  Knight  the  end  of  cord,  Wi5 

To  lead  the  captive  of  his  sword 
In  triumph,  while  tiie  steeds  he  cauglit, 
And  them  to  further  service  brought. 
The  Squire,  in  slate,  rode  on  before. 
And  on  his  nut-brown  whiniard  bore  1120 

The  trophy-fiddlo  and  the  case, 
Plac'd  on  liis  shoulder  hke  a  mace. 
The  Knight  liimsclf  did  after  ride, 
Leading  Crowdero  by  his  side  ; 

And  tow'd  him,  if  lie  lagg'd  behind,  1125 

Like  boat  against  the  tide  and  wind. 
Thus  grave  and  solemn  they  march  on, 
Until  quite  thro'  tiie  town  they'd  gone-. 
At  further  end  of  which  there  stands 
An  ancient  castle,  that  commandst  1130 

Th'  adjacent  parts:  in  all  the  fabrick 
You  shall  not  see  one  stone  nor  a  brick. 
But  all  of  wood,  by  povv'rful  spell 
Of  magic  made  impregnable  : 

There's  neither  iron  bar  nor  gate,  ii:(5 

Portcullis,  chain,  nor  bolt,  nor  grate  , 
And  yet  men  diu'ancc  there  abide. 
In  dungeon  scarce  three  inches  wide  ; 


Cromwell  held,  that  the  rules  of  justice  were  binding  in  or- 
dinary cises,  hut  in  extranrdiiinry  one*  ini^ht  be  dispensed  with. 
Bee  Burnet.  Clarendon  hath  a  similar  observation;  or  Sir  H. 
Vane — that  he  was  above  ordinances. 

*  The  poet  makinf;  the  wonilen  leg  take  an  oath  not  to  serve 
again  against  his  captor,  is  a  ridicule  on  those  who  obliged  their 
prisoners  to  take  an  oath  to  that  purpose.  The  prisoners  taken 
at  Brentford  were  thus  sworn,  but  Dr.  Downing  and  Mr.  Mar- 
shall absolved  them  fr(im  this  oalh,  and  they  immediately  served 
again  in  the  pirliament  army. 

t  The  stocks  are  here  pictured  as  an  enchanted  castle,  with 
infinite  wil  and  humor,  and  in  the  true  spirit  of  burlesque  poetry 


124  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  i 

With  roof  so  low,  that  under  it 

They  never  stand,  but  lie  or  sit;  1140 

And  yet  so  foul,  that  whoso  is  in, 

Is  to  the  middle-leg  in  prison  ; 

In  circle  magical  confin'd, 

With  walls  of  subtle  air  and  wind, 

Which  none  are  able  to  break  thorough,  1145 

Until  they're  freed  by  head  of  borough. 

Thither  arriv'd,  the  advent'rous  Knight 

And  bold  Squire  from  their  steeds  alight 

At  th'  outward  wall,  near  which  there  stands 

A  Basiile,  built  t'imprisoa  hands;*  115C 

By  strange  enchantment  made  to  fetter 

The  lesser  parts,  and  free  the  greater  : 

For  tho'  the  body  may  creep  through, 

The  hands  in  great  are  fast  enow : 

And  when  a  circle  'bout  the  wrist  115= 

Is  made  by  beadle  exorcist, 

The  body  feels  tlie  spur  and  switch, 

As  if 't  were  ridden  post  by  witch, 

At  twenty  miles  an  hour  pace. 

And  yet  ne'er  stirs  out  of  the  place.  iirHi 

On  top  of  this  there  is  a  spire. 

On  which  Sir  Knight  first  bids  the  Squire 

The  fiddle,  and  its  spoils,  tho  case,+ 

In  manner  of  a  trophy,  place. 

That  done  they  ope  the  trap-door  gate,  noj 

And  let  Crowdero  down  thereat. 

Crowdero  making  doleful  face, 

Like  hermit  jjoor  in  pensive  place, t 

To  dungeon  they  the  wretch  commit. 

And  the  sui-vivor  of  his  feet ;  llVtj 

But  th'  other,  that  had  broke  the  peace, 

And  head  of  knighthood,  they  releeise, 

Tho'  a  delinquent  false  and  forged. 

Yet  b'ing  a  stranger  he's  enlarged  ;§ 


*  A  description  of  the  whipping  post, 
t  Suppose  we  read, 

His  spoils,  the  fiddle  and  the  case. 

X  This  was  the  beginning  of  a  love-song,  in  great  vogue  about 
the  year  1650. 

5  Dr.  Grey  stippnscs,  very  justly,  that  this  may  allude  to  the 
case  of  Sir  Bcrntird  fJascoign,  who  was  condemned  at  Colchester 
with  Sir  Ch;irles  Lucas  and  Sir  Georse  Lisle,  but  respited  from 
exoculiiin  on  aocouiit  of  his  being  an  Italian,  and  a  person  of 
some  interest  in  his  own  country.  See  Lord  Clarendon's  His- 
<ory,  vol  iii.,  p.  137 


Canto  ii.]  IIL'DIliRAS.  Igj 

While  his  comrade,  that  did  no  hurt,  II75 

Is  clapp'd  lip  fust  in  prison  for't : 

So  justice,  wliilo  sho  winks  at  crimes, 

Stumbles  on  innocence  sometimes.* 


*  Dat  veniHin  corvis,  vexat  censiira  cohimbas. 

Juv.  ii.,  1.  63 

The  plays  and  poeiiis  of  this  date  cnmmonlv  emled  wUh  ' 
njnial  raflectinu 


PART  I.     CANTO  III. 

THE  ARGUMENT.* 

Thk  pcattcr'd  rout  return  and  rally, 
Surround  the  place  ;  the  Knight  does  sally, 
And  is  made  pris'ner :  then  they  seize 
Th'  enchanted  fort  by  storm,  release 
Crowdero,  and  put  the  Squire  in's  place ; 
I  should  have  first  said  Hudibras. 


*  The  Author  follows  the  example  of  Spenser,  and  the  Italian 
poets,  in  the  division  of  his  work  into  pans  and  cantos.  Spenser 
contents  himself  with  a  short  title  to  each  division,  as  "The 
Legend  of  Tein|)erance,"  and  the  like.  Butler  more  fully  ac- 
quaints his  readers  what  they  are  to  expect,  by  an  argument  in 
the  same  style  with  the  poem;  and  fre(|uenlly  convinces  them, 
that  he  knew  how  to  enliven  so  dry  a  thing  as  a  summary. 
Neither  Virgil,  Ovid,  nor  Statius  wnile  arguments  in  verse  So 
their  respective  poems ;  but  critics  and  grammarians  have  taken 
tbe  uains  to  do  it  fur  tbeat 


HUDIBRAS. 


CANTO  III. 

Ay  me  !  what  perils  do  environ 

Tiie  man  that  meddles  with  cold  iron  I* 

What  plaguy  mischiefs  and  mishaps 

Do  dog  him  still  with  after  claps  ! 

For  the'  dame  Fortniic  seem  to  smile,t  S 

And  leer  upon  him  for  a  while, 

She'll  after  shew  him,  in  the  nick 

Of  all  his  glories,  a  dog-trick. 

This  any  man  may  sing  or  say 

r  th'  ditty  caird,  VVhat  if  a  day  ?t  10 

For  Hiidibras,  who  thought  he  'ad  won 

The  field  as  certain  as  a  gnn, 

*  A  parody  on  the  verses  in  Spenser's  Fairy  (iueen  : 
Ay  me,  how  many  perils  do  enfold 
The  virtuous  man  to  make  him  daily  fall. 

These  two  lines  are  become  a  kind  of  proverbial  expression, 
partly  owing  to  the  moral  reflection,  and  partly  to  the  jingle  of 
tlie  double  rhyme  :  they  are  applied  sometimes  to  a  man  mor- 
tally wounded  with  a  sword,  and  sortietimes  to  a  lady  who  pricks 
her  finger  with  a  needle.  Butler,  in  his  MS.  Common-place 
liook,  on  this  passage, observes :  "Cold  iron  in  Greenland  burns 
as  grievously  as  hot."  Some  editions  read,  "  Ah  me,"  from  the 
Belyic  or  Teutonic. 

t       Ois  fiiv  iiiiaaiv,  oi;  i'  atjiaipUTai  tvxV- 
Td  Tfjs  TVxVi  '''01  ftCTal^oXas  TroXXuf  exu 
Qs  TtoiKiXoii  TTpayit'  fj-i  ««(  irXdvov  rvxi 

Brunck.  Gnom.  Poet.  p.  242. 
Fortuna  sa-vo  la'ta  negotio,  ct 
Ludum  insolentem  ludere  pertinaz, 
Transinutat  incertos  honores, 

JVunc  mihi,  nunc  alii  bcnisna. 

Uor.  Carm.  lib.  iii.  29, 1,  49 
X  An  old  ballad,  which  begins  : 

What  if  a  day,  or  a  month,  or  a  year 

Crown  thy  delights. 
With  a  thcmsand  wish't  contentings  ! 
Cannot  the  chance  of  a  night  or  an  hour, 
Cross  thy  delights, 
With  as  many  sad  tormen  tines  t 


128  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  i 

And  having  routed  the  whole  troop, 

^Yith  victory  was  cock-a-hoop  ;* 

Thinking  lie  'ad  done  enough  to  purchase  I'j 

Thanksgiving-day  among  the  churches, 

Wherein  his  nieltle  and  hrave  worth 

]Might  be  explain'd  hy  holder-forlh, 

And  register'd  by  fame  eternal, 

In  deatliless  pages  of  diurnal  ;t  2C 

Found  in  few  minutes,  to  his  cost, 

He  did  but  count  without  his  host ; 

And  that  a  turu-slilc  is  more  certain 

Than,  in  events  of  war.  Dame  Fortune. 

For  now  the  late  faint-hearted  rout,  S3 

O'erthrown  and  scalter'd  round  about, 
Chas'd  by  the  liorror  of  their  fear. 
From  bloody  iray  of  Knight  and  Bear, 
All  but  the  dogs,  who,  in  pursuit 
Of  the  Knight's  victory,  stood  to't,  30 

And  most  ignobly  sought  to  get 
The  honour  of  his  blood  and  sweat,! 
Seeing  the  coast  was  free  and  clear 
O'  the  conquer'd  and  the  conqueror. 
Took  heart  again,  and  fac'd  about,  35 

As  if  they  meant  to  stand  it  out : 
For  now  the  half  defeated  bear, 
Attack'd  by  th'  enemy  i'  th'  rear, 
Finding  their  number  grew  too  greai 
For  him  to  make  a  safe  retreat,  11 

Like  a  bold  chieftain  fac'd  about ; 
But  wisely  doubting  to  hold  out, 
Gave  way  to  fortune  and  with  haste 
Fac'd  the  proud  foe,  and  fled,  and  fac'd, 
Retiring  still,  until  he  found  ii 

H'  ad  got  the  advantage  of  the  ground  ; 
And  then  as  valiantly  made  head 
To  check  the  foe,  and  forthwith  fled. 


*  This  crowing  or  rejoicing.  Cocl<-on-hoop  signifies  extrava 
ganco:  the  cocli  tirawn  out  (jf  a  liarrcl,  and  laid  ii|jon  the  hoop 
while  the  liquor  runs  to  waste,  is  a  proper  cniljleiii  of  inconsid 
erate  conduct. 

t  The  gazettes  or  newspapers,  on  the  side  of  the  parliament, 
were  pul)lishe<l  daily,  and  called  Uiurnals.  See  Cleveland's 
eharacter  of  a  diurnai-niaker. 

t  An  allusion  to  the  complaint  of  the  Presl)ytcrian  comman- 
ders apainst  the  Indcpendenls,  when  the  self-denying  ordinance 
had  lirought  in  these  and  excluded  the  others.  IJoth  Butler  and 
Milton  complain  of  not  receiving  satisfaction  and  reward  fof 
their  lahor  and  expenses.  This  looks  as  if  our  poet  had  an  alle* 
gorical  view  in  some  of  his  characters  and  passages. 


rANTO  III.]  1IUDII5KAS.  120 

Leaving  no  art  iintiy'd,  nor  trick 

Of  warrior  stout  and  politic,  50 

Until,  in  spite  of  hot  i)ursiiit, 

lie  gain'd  a  pass,  to  hold  disp  ito 

On  better  terms,  and  stop  the  course 

Of  tiie  proud  foe.     With  all  his  force 

IIo  bravely  charg'd,  and  for  a  while  53 

Forc"d  their  whole  body  to  recoil  ; 

But  still  their  numbers  so  increas'd, 

He  found  himself  at  length  oppress'd, 

And  all  evasions  so  uncertain 

To  save  himself  foi'  better  fortune,  Cfi 

That  he  resolv'd,  rather  than  yield, 

To  die  with  honour  in  the  field, 

And  sell  his  hide  and  carcase  at 

A  price  as  high  and  desperate 

As  e'er  he  could.     This  resolution  69 

He  forthwith  put  in  execution, 

And  bravely  threw  himself  among 

Til'  enemy  i'  th'  greatest  throng  ; 

But  what  could  single  valour  do 

Against  so  numerous  a  foe  ?  70 

Yet  much  he  did,  indeed  too  much 

To  be  believ'd,  where  th'  odds  were  such  ; 

But  one  against  a  multitude. 

Is  more  than  moilal  can  make  good  : 

For  while  one  party  he  oppos'd  73 

His  rear  was  suddenly  enclos'd. 

And  no  room  left  him  for  retreat, 

Or  fight  against  a  foe  so  great. 

For  now  the  niastives,  charging  home, 

To  blows  and  handy-gripes  were  come  ;  80 

While  manfully  himself  he  bore. 

And,  setting  his  right  foot  before. 

He  rais'd  iiimself  to  show  how  tall 

His  person  was  above  them  all. 

This  equal  shamo  and  envy  stirr'd  85 

In  th'  enemy,  that  one  should  beard 

So  many  warriors,  and  so  stout. 

As  ho  had  done,  and  stav'd  it  out, 

Disdaining  to  lay  down  his  arms, 

And  yield  on  honourable  terms.  90 

Enraged  thus  some  in  the  rear 

Attack'd  him,  and  some  every  where,* 

♦Thus  Spenser  in  Iiis  Fairy  Queen: 

Like  dastard  curs,  that  having  at  a  bay 
The  savage  beast,  emboss' j  in  weary  chaso 


130  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  i 

Till  down  he  fell  •,  yet  falling  fought, 

And,  being  down  still  laid  about ; 

As  Widdring'.on,  in  doleful  dumps,  95 

Is  said  to  fight  upon  bis  .stuni])s.* 

But  all,  alas  I  bad  been  in  vain, 
And  he  inevitably  slain, 
If  TruUa  and  Cerdon,  in  the  nick. 
To  rescue  him  bad  not  been  quick ;  101 

For  Trulla,  who  was  light  of  foot. 
As  shafts  which  long-field  Parthians  shoot,! 
But  not  so  light  as  to  be  borne 
Upon  the  ears  of  standing  cora.t 


Dare  not  adventure  on  the  stubborn  prey, 

Ne  l)ite  hel'ore,  but  ronie  from  phice  to  place 
To  get  a  snatch,  when  turned  is  his  face. 

•  In  the  famous  song  of  Che\7-chase  : 

For  WitherinKton  needs  must  I  wail. 

As  one  in  (iDloful  dumps. 
For  when  his  less  were  smitten  of 

He  fouglit  upon  his  stumps. 

The  lifittle  of  Chevy-chase,  or  Otterl)ourne,  on  the  borders  of 
Scotland,  was  foUL'ht  on  St.  Oswald's  day,  Au-iust  5,  1388,  be- 
tween the  families  of  I'ercy  and  Douglas — the  song  was  proba- 
bly wrote  much  after  tliat  time,  tliough  long  before  1588,  as 
Hearne  supposes. — The  sense  of  the  stanza  is,  I,  as  one  in  dole 
ful  dumps  (deep  concern)  must  lament  Wilherin'ilon. 

In  the  old  copy  of  the  ballad,  the  lines  run  thus : 

For  WetharrynRlon  my  harte  was  wo 

That  ever  he  slayne  shulde  bo 
For  when  both  his  lefr^jis  weare  hewyne  in  to 

lie  knyled  and  fouglit  upon  his  knc. 

X  Bishop  Warburton  offers  an  amendment  here,  which  im- 
proves the  sense,  viz.  Innptiled,  or  drawn  U|)  in  long  ranks.  But 
as  all  the  editions  read  lon>;-lield,  1  was  unwilling  to  alter  it. 
I'erhaps  the  poet  may  l)e  justilicd  in  the  use  of  this  epithet,  from 
the  account  which  Trogus  gives  of  the  Parthians.  He  says, 
"  they  were  banished,  and  vagabond  Scythians;  their  name,  in 
"  the  Scythian  language,  signifying  banished.  They  settled  in 
"  the  deserts  near  Hyrcania;  and  spread  themselves  over  vast 
"open  fields  and  wide  champaigns — 'immensa  ac  profunda  cam 
"'poruni.'  They  are  continually  on  horseback:  They  fight, 
"  consult,  and  transact  all  their  business  on  horseback."  Justin, 
lib.  xli. 

[Bishop  Warburton  and  Mr.  Nash  are  wide  a-field  of  their 
nvirk  here.  Lonir-ficld  is  a  term  of  archery,  and  a  lung-fielder  is 
still  a  hero  at  a  cricket  match.] 

\  Alluding  to  Camilla,  whose  speed  is  hypcrbolically  described 
by  Virgil,  at  the  end  of  the  seventh  ^neid: 

Ilia  vel  intacta;  segetis  per  sumnia  volaret 
Gramina,  ncc  leneras  cursu  la;sisset  aristas: 
Vel  mare  per  medium  fluctu  suspensa  lumenti. 
Ferret  iter,  celeres  nee  tingeret  fequore  plantas. 


i'MTTo  III.]  IIUDIBRAS.  131 

Or  trip  it  o'er  Inc  water  quicker  Kiri 

Than  witches,  when  their  staves  Ihey  liijiior,* 

As  sonio  report,  was  jrot  anionij 

Tlio  foremost  of  the  martial  throng  ; 

Where  pityinjr  the  vaiiquish'd  bear, 

Hhe  called  to  Cerdoii,  wiio  stood  near,  110 

Viewinjf  tlie  bloody  li<rht ;  to  whom. 

Shall  we,  quoth  slie,  stand  still  hum-driim, 

And  sec  stout  bruin,  all  alone. 

By  numbers  basely  overthrown  ? 

Such  feats  already  lio'as  atchicv'd,  I'l 

In  story  not  to  be  believ'd. 

And  'twould  to  us  be  shame  enough, 

Not  to  attempt  to  fetch  him  otV. 

I  would,  quoth  he,  venture  a  limb 
To  second  thee,  and  rescue  him :  120 

But  then  we  must  about  it  straight, 
Or  else  our  aid  will  come  too  late: 
Quarter  he  scorns,  ho  is  so  stout. 
And  therefore  cannot  long  hold  out. 
This  said,  they  wav'd  their  wea])ons  round  12.5 

About  their  heads,  to  clear  the  ground  ; 
And  joining  forces,  laid  about 
So  fiercely,  that  th'  amazed  rout 
Turn'd  tail  again,  and  straight  begun. 
As  if  the  devil  drove,  to  run.  1.10 

Meanwhile  th'  approach'd  th'  place  where  bruin 
Was  now  engag'd  to  mortal  ruin  : 
The  conqu'ring  foe  they  soon  assail'd ; 
First  Trulla  stav'd  and  Cerdon  tail'djt 
Until  their  mastives  loos'd  their  hold:  135 

And  yet,  alas  !  do  what  they  could. 
The  worsted  bear  came  off  with  store 
Of  bloody  wounds,  but  all  before  : 
For  as  Achilles,  dij)t  in  pond. 

Was  anabaptiz'd  free  from  wound,  HO 

Made  proof  against  dead-doing  steel 
All  over,  but  the  pagan  heel  ;t 
So  did  our  champion's  arms  defend 
All  of  him  but  the  other  end, 

*  Witches  are  sHid  to  ride  upnn  broomsticks,  and  to  liquor,  of 
grea«e  them,  ihiit  tlicy  iiiiiy  go  faster. 

t  Trulhi  put  her  st.ifF  between  the  dogs  and  the  bear,  in  order 
Jo  part  tlieiri;  and  Cerdon  drew  the  dogs  away  by  their  tails. 

t  This  is  the  true  spirit  of  liurlesque ;  as  llie  analiaptists,  by 
their  dipping,  were  made  free  from  sin,  so  was  Achilles  by  the 
same  operation  performed  by  his  mother  Thetis,  rendered  free 
from  W'junds. 


132  HUDIBRAS.  [P«rt  * 

His  heaa  and  ears,  which  in  the  martial  Hi 

Encounter  lost  a  leathern  parcel ; 

For  as  an  Auslriaii  archduke  onco 

Had  one  ear,  whicli  in  ducatoons 

Is  half  the  coin,  in  battle  par'd 

Close  to  his  head,*  so  bruin  far'd ;  150 

But  tugg'd  and  pull'd  on  th'  other  side, 

Like  scriv'ner  newly  crucify'd  ;t 

Or  like  the  late-corrccted  leaihern 

Ears  of  the  circumcised  brethren.! 

But  gentle  Trulla  into  th'  ring  15.'^ 

He  wore  in's  nose  convey'd  a  string, 

With  which  she  march'd  before,  and  led 

The  warrior  to  a  grassy  bed. 

As  authors  write,  in  a  cool  shade, 

*  Allien,  archduke  nf  Austria,  brother  to  the  emperor  Rcdolph 
the  Second,  had  one  of  his  ears  grazed  hy  a  spear,  when  he  had 
taken  off  his  helmet,  and  was  endeavoring  to  rally  his  soldiers 
In  an  engagement  with  Prince  Maurice  of  Nassau,  ann.  15S18 
We  read,  in  an  ancient  song,  of  a  dilTererU  duke  of  that  family 

Richard  Coeur  de  Lion  erst  king  of  this  land, 
He  the  lion  gored  with  his  naked  hand ; 
The  false  duke  of  Austria  nothing  did  he  fear. 
But  his  son  he  kill'd  with  a  box  on  the  ear 
Besides  his  famous  acts  done  in  the  holy  land. 

A  ducatoon  is  the  half  of  a  ducat.  Before  the  invention  ol 
milling,  coins  were  free)uently  cut  into  parts  :  thus,  there  were 
quarter-ducats,  and  two-thirds  of  a  ducat. 

t  In  those  days  lawyers  or  scriveners,  if  guilty  of  dishonest 
practices,  were  sentenced  to  lose  their  ears.  In  modern  limes 
(hey  seldom  are  so  punished. 

t  Prynne,  Bastwick,  and  Burton,  stood  in  the  |)illory,  and  had 
their  ears  cut  off,  by  order  of  the  Star-Chamber,  in  1037,  for 
writing  seditious  libels.  They  were  banished  into  remote  parts 
of  the  kingdom;  but  recalled  by  the  parliament  in  1040.  At 
their  return  the  populace  showed  them  every  respect.  They 
were  met,  near  London,  by  ten  thousand  persons,  who  carried 
boughs  and  flowers.  The  members  of  the  Star-chamber,  con- 
cerned in  punishing  them,  were  fined  in  the  sum  of  4000/.  for 
each. 

Prynne  was  a  noted  lawyer.  He  had  been  once  pilloried  be- 
fore; and  now  lost  the  remainder  of  his  ears:  though,  in  Lord 
Strafford's  Letters,  it  is  said  ihey  were  sewed  on  again,  f-nd 
grew  as  well  as  ever.  His  publication  was  a  pamphlet  entitled, 
News  froiH  Ipswich.    See  Epistle  of  Hudibras  toSidrophel,  1.  13. 

Baatwick  was  a  physician.  He  wrote  a  pamphlet,  in  elegant 
Latin,  called  Flagellum  Episcoporum.  He  was  the  author,  too, 
of  a  silly  litany,  full  of  abuse. 

Burton,  minister  of  St.  Matthew's,  in  Friday-street,  London, 
preached  a  sermon,  Nov.  5,  entitled,  God  and  the  king.  This  he 
printed  ;  and,  being  questioned  about  it,  he  defended  it,  enlarged, 
and  dedicated  it  to  the  king  himself.  After  his  discharge,  h« 
preached  and  printed  another  sermon,  entitled,  The  Protestatiou 
protested. 


:anto  iii.i  IIUDIBRAS  I33 

Whicli  eglantine  and  roses  made  :  ino 

Close  by  a  softly  niunn'ring  stream, 

Where  lovers  used  to  loll  and  dieuni:* 

There  leaving  him  to  his  repose, 

Secured  from  pursuit  of  foes. 

And  wanting  iiotiiing  but  a  song,1  16? 

And  a  well-tun'd  theorbo  hung 

Upon  a  bough,  to  ease  the  pain 

His  tugg'd  ears  suficr'd,  with  a  strain.! 

They  both  drew  up,  to  march  in  quest 

Of  his  great  leader,  and  the  rest.  170 

For  Orsin,  who  was  more  renown'd 
For  stout  maintaining  of  his  ground 
In  standing  fights,  than  for  pursuit, 
As  being  not  so  quick  of  foot,§ 

Was  not  long  able  to  keep  pace  .75 

With  others  that  pursu'd  the  chase, 
But  found  himself  left  far  behind, 
Both  out  of  heart  and  out  of  wind  ; 
Griev'd  to  behold  his  bear  pursu'd 
So  basely  by  a  multitude,  13C 

And  like  to  fall,  not  by  the  prowess, 
But  numbers,  of  his  coward  foes. 
He  rag'd,  and  kept  as  heavy  a  coil  as 
Stout  Hercules  for  loss  of  Hylas  ; 
Forcing  the  vailies  to  repeat  185 

The  accents  of  his  sad  regret  :|| 


*  Et  rotiiiu  greinio  Dea  tollit  in  altos 

Idalia;  lucos,  ubi  mollis  aiiiaracus  iilmn 
Fluribus,  et  Uuici  aspirans  aiiiplectitur  umbra. 

Virgil,  yEneiU  i.  692. 
And  Johannes  Secundns,  Eleg.  Cum  Venus  Ascanium. 
Mr.  Butler  frequently  gives  us  specimens  of  poetical  imagery, 
which  lead  us  to  believe  that  he   might  have  ranked  with  the 
first  class  of  elegant  writers. 

t  This  is  a  banter  upon  some  of  the  romance  writers  of  those 
days. 
t  In  Grey's  edition  it  is  thus  pointed : 

His  tugg'd  ears  sufler'd;  with  a  strain 
They  both  drew  up— 
But  I  should  rather  suppose  the   poet  meant  a  well-tuned 
Uieorbo,  to  ease  the  pain  with  a  strain,  that  is,  with  music  and  » 
song. 
$  Thus  Ajax  is  described  by  Homer : 

04(5'  uv  'A^iXA^r  pr)^i^vopi  xuofJtrriEV, 

"Er  y'  airus'aiirj'  iroa]  i'  tCiruj  iarlv  l/ii'^CiV. 

II.  xiii.  334. 
II  Hercules,  when  he  bewails  the  loss  of  Hylas: 

Voint  ordine  nullo 

Cuncta  petens  ;  nunc  ad  ripas,  dejectaque  saxis 


i34  HUDIBRAS  [Part  i 

Ho  beat  his  breast,  and  tore  his  liair, 
For  loss  of  his  dear  crony  bear  ; 

Fliimina ;  nunc  notas  neinoruni  procurrit  ad  umbras  : 
Rursiis  Hyl:m,  et  rursus  HyUin  per  long;i  reclaniat 
Avia  :  responsanl  silvic,  et  vaga  certat  iinapo. 

Val.  Flac.  Argon,  iii.  593. 

TpU  ft"  XXav  avacv  iaov  6a6vi  iipvyc  Xai/id;, 
Tpif  i   ap'  b  jruif  VfidKovacv  apaia  6'  Ikito  ipi^vi 
'E^  iiiarof.  TheocritLS,    dji.  xiii.  58. 

Echoes  have  frequently  been  employed  by  the  poets.  Mr 
Hutler  ridicules  this  false  kind  of  wit,  and  produces  answer! 
which  are  sufficiently  whinisiciil.  The  learned  Erasmus  com- 
posed  a  4lialogue  upon  this  subject:  his  Echo  seems  to  have 
been  an  extraordinary  linguist;  for  she  answers  the  person 
Willi  wlicim  she  converses,  in  Latin,  Greek,  and  Hebrew. 

"The  conceit  of  making  Echo  talk  sensibly,"  says  Mr.  Adduson, 
Spcctutor,  No.  59,  "  and  give  rational  answer.*,  if  it  could  be 
■'  excusable  in  any  writer,  would  be  so  in  Ovid,  where  he  intro 
"duces  Echo  as  a  nymph,  before  she  was  worn  away  into 
"  nothing  but  a  voice.  The  passage  relating  her  conversation 
with  Narcissus  is  very  ingenious: 

Forte  puer,  coniiturn  seductus  ab  agmine  fido, 
Dixcrat,  Ecqiiis  adesf?  et  Adest,  responderat  Echo 
Hie  stiipet;  utque  aciem  paries  divisit  in  onmes; 
Voce,  Veni,  clamat  magni.     Vocal  ilia  vocantem 
Respicit :  et  nuUo  rursus  veniente,  Ciuid,  inquit, 
Me  fugis'!  et  toiidem,  quot  dixit,  verba  recepii 
Perstat;  et  alterna;  deceptus  imagine  vocis 
Hue  coCamus,  ait;  nuUique  libentius  unquam 
Responsura  sono,  CoiJamus,  retulit  Echo. 

Metamorph.  iii.  379. 
A  friend  of  mine,  who  boasted  much  of  his  park  and  gardens 
in  Ireland,  among  other  curiosities  mentioned  an  extraordinary 
Echo,  that  would  return  answers  to  any  thing  which  was  said. 
Of  what  kind  ?— inquired  a  gentleman  present.  Why,  says  he, 
if  I  call  out  loud.  How  do  you  do,  Coancrl  the  Echo  immediately 
answers.  Very  well,  thanic  you,  sir. 

Siout  Jlerculcs  for  loss  of  Hylas  /—Euripides,  in  his  An- 
dromeda, a  tragedy  now  lost,  had  a  scene  of  this  kind,  which 
Aristophanes  makes  sp<irt  with  in  his  Feast  of  Ceres. 

In  the  Antliologia,  lib.  iii.  6,  is  an  epigram  of  Leonidas,  and 
in  tlie  4th  book  are  six  lines  by  Guaradas.  See  Brunck's  Ana- 
lecta,  vol.  ii. 

o   Axu  (piy^a  fioi  cvyKaTalvtcrdv  tI. — /3  ri ; 
o  'Epui  Kopiffduf  •  a  Of  ix'  oh  <pi\t7. — ii  i/xAtj. 
a  Tipu^ai  0    0  Kaipbi  Katpuv  oii  ^/pti — /i  gupci 
a  Til  Tci'i'uv  avTif  Xi^uv  (Lj  fpw- — (i  '//W- 
a  Kai  niariv  axiTj.  KzpnaTuiv  tu  &6i. — /?  TV  56s' 
a  Ax"*,  "'  Xoiiriv,  J)  riOv  Tvxuv,—^  rvxiiv. 
Echo!  I  love,  advise  me  somewhat :— What? 
Does  Cloe's  heart  incline  to  love  1 — To  love,  &c. 
Martial  ridicules  the  Latin  authors  of  his  time  for  this  false 
wit,  and   promises  that  none   shall    be   found  in   his  writings. 
The  early  French  poets  have  fallen  into  this  puerility.    .loachim 
Ue  Ueilay  has  an  Echo  ol'  this  kind,  a  few  lines  of  which  1  will 
raKscribc : 


Canto  hi.]  IIUDIBRAS.  135 

That  Echo,  from  the  hollow  ground, 

His  doleful  wixilings  did  resound  190 

More  wistfully,  by  many  times, 

Than  in  small  poets'  splay-foot  rhymes 

That  make  her,  in  their  ruthful  stories. 

To  answer  to  int'rogatories. 

And  most  unconscionably  depose  103 

To  things  of  which  siie  nothing  knows  ; 

And  when  she  has  said  all  she  can  say, 

'Tis  wrested  to  the  lover's  fancy. 

Quoth  he,  O  whither,  wicked  Bruin, 

Art  thou  fled  to  my — Echo,  ruin.  200 

I  thought  th'  liadst  scorn'd  to  budge  a  step. 

For  fear.     Quoth  Echo,  Marry  suep.* 

Am  not  1  hero  to  take  thy  part  ? 

Then  what  has  quail'd  thy  stubborn  heart  ?1 

Have  these  bones  rattled,  and  this  head  i05 

So  often  in  thy  quarrel  bled  ? 

Nor  did  I  ever  wince  or  grudge  it, 

For  thy  dear  sake.     Quoth  she,  Mum  budget. 

Think'st  thou  'twill  not  be  laid  i'  ih'  dish§ 

Thou  turn'dst  thy  back  ?  Quoth  Echo,  Pish.         210 

To  run  from  those  th'  hadst  overcome 

Thus  cowardly  ?  Quoth  Echo,  Mum. 

But  \vhat  a-vengcance  makes  thee  fly 

From  me  too,  as  thine  enemy  ? 

Or,  if  thou  hast  no  thought  of  me,  215 

Nor  what  I  have  endur'd  for  thee. 

Yet  shame  and  honour  might  prevail 


Qui  est  I'auteur  de  ces  niaux  avenus  1 — Venus, 
du'etois-je  avaiit  il'entrer  en  ce  passage  ? — Sage. 
Qu'est-ce  (ju'aiiner  et  se  plaindre  souvcnt  ? — Vent. 
IJis-nioi  quelle  est  celle  pour  qui  j'cndure'! — Dure. 
Senl-elle  bicn  la  ilouleur  qui  nie  point  1 — Point. 
*  A  sort  of  imprecation  of  Mary  come  up,  praying  the  Virgin 
^lary  to  help;  though  some  derive  it  otherwise.    See   Bishop 
Percy's  Reliques  o''  Ancient  I'oeiry,  and  v.  16  of  the  Wanton 
Wife  of  Bath. 

t  Quail,  to  cause  to  shrink,  or  faint;  from  A.  S.  cwealm,  mors, 
twellan,   occidere.     A  qualm,  deliquium  animi,  brevior  mors. 
The  word  is  frequently  used  in  ancient  songs  and  ballads. 
t  A  term  denoting  silence. 

[I  come  to  her  in  white,  and  cry  mum ;  and  she  cries  budget ; 
&nd  by  that  we  know  one  another. — Alerry  Wives,  Act  v.  sc.2.] 
%  [To  lay  in  one's  dish,  to  object  a  thing  to  a  person,  to  make 
W  an  accusation  against  Iiim. 

liBst  niglit  you  tnij  it.  madam,  in  our  dish. 
How  that  a  maid  of  ours  (whom  me  must  check) 
Had  broke  your  b  ti-hes  leg. 
, ,,  Sir  John  II:irr.  Epigr.  I.  S7.J 


136  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  i 

To  keep  tliee  tlius  from  turiiinsj  t:iil : 

For  who  would  grutcli  to  speuil  liis  blood  iu 

His  liouours  cause  ?  Quoth  she,  a  Puddin.  22C 

This  suid,  his  grief  to  auger  lurn'd, 

Wliicli  iu  his  inauly  stomach  buru'd  ; 

Thirst  of  revenge,  aud  wratii,  iu  place 

Of  sorrow,  now  began  to  blaze. 

He  vow'd  the  autliors  of  his  A'oe  225 

Should  equal  veugeauce  undergo  ; 

And  with  their  bones  and  flesh  pay  dear 

For  what  he  suffer'd  and  his  bear. 

Tliis  b'ing  resolv'd,  with  e(iual  speed 

And  rage,  he  hasted  to  proceed  236 

To  action  straigiit,  and  giving  o'er 

To  search  for  biuiu  any  more, 

He  went  in  quest  of  Hudibras, 

To  find  him  out,  wiiere'er  he  was  ; 

Aud  if  he  were  above  ground,  vow'd  235 

He'd  ferret  him,  liuk  wliere  he  wou'd. 

But  scarce  had  he  a  furlong  on 
This  resolute  adventure  gone, 
When  he  encouuter'd  with  that  crew 
Wliom  Hudibras  did  late  subdue.  240 

Honour,  revenge,  coulempt,  and  sharne, 
Did  equally  their  breasts  inflame. 
'Mong  these  the  fierce  Maguano  was. 
And  Talgol,  foe  to  Hudibras: 

Cerdon  and  Colon,  warriors  stout,  24.1 

Aud  resolute,  as  ever  fought ; 
Whom  furious  Orsiu  thus  bespoke : 

Shall  we,  quoth  he,  thus  basely  brook 
The  vile  atrronl  that  paltry  ass. 

And  feeble  scoundrel,  Hudibras,  25» 

With  that  more  paltry  ragamuffin, 
Ralpho,  with  vaporing  and  luifling. 
Have  put  upon  us,  like  tame  cattle. 
As  if  th'  had  routed  us  in  battle  ? 
For  my  part  it  shall  ne"er  be  said  255 

I  for  the  washing  gave  my  head  :* 

*  Tliat  is,  behaved  cowardly,  or  surrendered  at  discretion  : 
jeering  oUrniuely  perliapsat  tin:  analiaiitislical  noUiins  of  Ralpho. 
—Hooker,  or  Vinvler,  in  liis  descripliiin  of  Exeter,  wrilten  anoul 
1584,  speakini'  of  the  par-uii  of  St.  '1  honias,  who  was  hfijiged 
during  the  siege,  says,  "  he  was  a  stout  riitn,  w  lio  woulc"  noi 
"give  his  hea.i  for  tlie  polling,  nor  liis  lieanl  for  the  wasb-'ng." 
Grey  gives  an  apt  quotation  from  Cupid's  Revenge,  by  Bealiinont 
and  Fleldiir,  Act  iv. 

1«(  Citi-.cr.    ll  holds,  he  dies  this  niorning. 


Canto  in.]  IIUDIBRAS  I37 

Nor  did  I  turn  my  back  for  fear 

Of  thein,  but  losing  of  my  bear, 

Which  now  I'm  lilvc  to  undergo  ; 

For  whether  these  fell  wounds,  or  no,  260 

He  has  receiv'd  in  fight,  are  mortal. 

Is  more  than  all  my  skill  can  forutel  ; 

Nor  do  I  know  what  is  become 

Of  hiui,  more  than  the  Pope  of  Rome.* 

But  if  I  can  but  find  them  out  265 

That  caus'd  it,  as  I  shall  no  doubt, 

Where'er  th'  in  liugger-mugger  lurk,t 

I'll  make  them  rue  their  handiwork, 

And  wish  that  they  had  rather  dar'd 

To  pull  the  devil  by  the  beard.t  i70 

Quoth  Ccrdou,  noble  Orsin,  th'  hast 
Great  reason  to  do  as  thou  say'st. 
And  so  has  ev'ry  body  here. 
As  well  as  thou  hast,  or  thy  bear: 
Others  may  do  as  they  see  good  ;  275 

But  if  this  twig  be  made  of  wood 
That  will  hold  tack,  I'll  make  the  fur 
Fly  'bout  the  cars  of  that  old  cur, 
And  th'  other  mongrel  vermin,  Ralph, 
Tiiat  brav'd  us  all  in  his  behalf.  280 

Thy  bear  is  safe,  and  out  of  peril, 
Tho'  Ingg'd  indeed,  and  wounded  very  i'l  ; 
Myself  and  Trulla  made  a  shift 
To  help  him  out  at  a  dead  lift ; 

And  having  brought  him  bravely  off,  285 

Have  left  him  where  he's  safe  enough  : 
There  let  him  rest ;  for  if  we  stay, 
The  slaves  may  hap  to  get  away. 

This  said,  they  all  engag'd  to  join 
Their  forces  in  the  same  design,  290 

And  forthwith  put  themselves,  in  search 
Of  Hudibras,  uj)on  their  march  : 
Where  leat^  we  them  awhile,  to  tell 
What  the  victorious  knight  befell  ; 

'ill  Citizen.  Then  Iiappy  man  lie  his  fortune. 

]st  Citizen.  And  sd  am  I  and  forty  more  good  fellows,  that 
Hill  nol  give  their  heads  for  the  washing. 

*  This  common  sayini.'  is  a  sneer  at  the  Pope's  infallibility. 

t  [In  secrecy  or  concealment. 

and  we  have  done  but  greenly 

In  hvggcr-mugircr  to  inter  him.  Hamlet,  iv.  5.] 

%  A  proverbial  expression  tised  for  any  bold  or  daring  enter- 
prise :  so  we  say.  To  take  a  lion  by  the  beard.  The  Spaniards 
deemed  it  an  unpardonable  affront  to  be  pulled  by  the  beard. 


J38  HUDIBRAS.  'Pahtl 

For  such,  Crowdero  being  fast  295 

In  dungeon  shut,  we  left  liiin  last. 

Triumphant  laurels  seem'd  to  grow 

Nowhere  so  green  as  on  his  brow  ; 

Laden  with  which,  as  well  as  tir'd 

\\'ith  conqu'ring  toil,  he  now  retir'd  300 

Unto  a  neigiib'riug  castle  by 

To  rest  his  body,  and  apply 

Fit  nied'cincs  to  each  glorious  bruiso 

He'd  got  in  fight,  reds,  blacks,  and  blues  , 

To  mollify  th'  uneasy  pang  30j 

Of  ev'ry  honourable  bang. 

Which  b'ing  by  skilful  midwife  drest. 

He  laid  him  down  to  take  his  rest. 

But  all  in  vain  :  he  'ad  got  a  hurt 
O'  th'  inside,  of  a  deadlier  sort,  310 

By  Cupid  made,  who  took  his  stand 
Upon  a  widow's  jointure-land,* 
For  he,  in  all  his  am'rous  battles, 
No  'dvantage  finds  like  goods  and  chattels, 
Drew  home  his  bow,  and  aiming  right,  315 

Let  fly  an  arrow  at  the  Knight ; 
The  shaft  against  a  rib  did  glance. 
And  gaird  him  in  the  purienance  ;t 
But  time  had  somewhat  'swag'd  his  pain. 
After  he  had  found  his  suit  in  vain  :  3-20 

For  that  proud  dame,  for  whom  his  soul 
Was  burnt  in's  belly  like  a  coal, 
That  belly  that  so  oft'  did  ake. 
And  suffer  griping  for  her  sake. 

Till  purging  comfits,  and  ant's  eggst  325 

Had  almost  brought  him  off  his  legs, — 

*  Stiible-stand  is  a  term  of  the  forest  laws,  and  signifies  a 
place  under  sciine  convenient  cover,  where  a  deer-stealer  fixes 
hijiisclf,  and  keeps  watch  for  the  purpose  of  killing  tlcerasthey 
pass  by.  From  the  place  it  came  also  to  lie  apfilied  to  the  per- 
son ;  and  any  man  taken  in  the  forest  in  that  situation,  with  a 
gun  or  bow,  was  presumed  to  be  an  offender,  and  had  the  name 
of  a  Stable-stand.  From  a  note  by  Ilaiimer  on  Shakspeare's 
Winter's  Tale,  Act  ii.  sc.  1.  The  widow  is  supposed  to  have 
been  Mrs.  Tomson,  who  had  a  jointure  of  200/.  a  year. 

t  A  ludicrous  name  for  the  knight's  heart:  taken,  probably, 
from  a  calf's  or  lamb's  head  and  purienance,  as  it  is  vulgarly 
called,  instead  of  appurtenance,  which,  among  other  entrails, 
contains  the  heart. 

*  Anls'  eggs  were  supposed,  by  some,  to  be  great  antidotes  to 
love  passions.*    I  cannot  divine  what  are  the  medical  qualities 

•  Verum  eqiiiJcm  itiiror  formicariira  hac  in  parte  potemiam,  quiim  quatuor 
tiiitum  in  i-Mu  ffjinpias,  umuem  Vener;s,  ac  cuiiuiiJi  puieiiua  n  aufeT'e  umdit 
Crunfeioua. 


C^MTO  iii.l  IIUDIBRAS.  139 

Us'd  liim  so  like  a  base  rascallion, 

That  old  Pyg — what  d'  y'  call  him — malton. 

That  cut  his  mistress  out  of  stone,* 

Had  not  so  hard  a  hearted  one.  330 

She  had  a  thousand  jadish  tricks, 

Worse  than  a  nnilo  that  iWivrs  and  kicks  ; 

'Along  wliich  one  cross-grain'd  freak  she  liad. 

As  insolent  as  strange  and  mad  ; 

yiio  could  love  none  but  only  such  335 

As  scorn'd  and  hated  her  as  much.t 

'Twas  a  strange  riddle  of  a  lady  ; 

Not  love,  if  any  lov'd  her  :  ha-day  !t 


of  them.  Palladiiis,  tie  re  rustica.  29.  2,  directs  ants'  efrjis  to  he 
civen  to  young  pheasants. — Plutarch,  ii.  928,  and  ii.  974,  says 
th;:t  hears,  when  they  are  sick,  cure  themselves  hy  swallowin:; 
Mts.  Frosted  caraway  seeds  (common  sugar  plums)  are  not 
unlike  ants'  eggs. 

*  I'yamalion,  as  the  mylhnlotrists  say,  fell  in  love  with  a 
statue  of  his  own  carving;  and  Venus,  to  gratify  him,  turned  it 
into  a  living  woman. 

'J'he  truth  of  the  story  is  supposed  to  he,  that  he  had  a  very 
hcauliful  wife,  whose  skin  fur  surpassed  the  whiteness  of  ivory. 
Or  it  may  mean,  to  show  the  painter's  or  statuary's  vanity,  and 
extreme  fondness  of  his  own  performance.  See  Fr.  .lunius,  in 
Catalog.  Architect.  Piclor.  yialnarior.  &c.,  pp.  188,  1()3.  Stone, 
instead  of  ivory,  that  the  widow's  hard  heart,  v.  330,  might  he 
the  nearer  resembled:  so  hray.en,  for  stone,  in  Pope's  description 
of  Cihher's  brothers  in  the  Dnnciad,  i.  30,  that  the  resemblance 
between  him  and  them  might  be  the  stronger.  So  in  our  poet  a 
poo.>:e,  instead  of  some  more  considerable  fowl,  is  described  with 
talons,  only  because  Hudibras  was  to  be  compared  to  a  fowl 
with  such:  but  maJting  a  goose  have  talons,  ar.d  Ihulibras  like 
a  goose,  to  which  wise  animal  he  had  before  compared  a  jus- 
tire,  P.  i.  c.  i.  V.  75,  heightens  the  ridicule.  See  P.  i.  c.  iii.  v. 
5-25. 

If  the  reader  loves  a  punning  epitaph,  lot  him  peruse  the  fol- 
lowing, on  a  youth  who  died  for  love  of  Molly  Stone: 

Mollc  fuit  saxum,  saxuni,  O  !  si  Molle  fuisset, 
IS'on  forct  hie  subter,  sed  super  esset  el. 

t  Such  a  capricious  kind  of  love  is  described  by  Horace: 
Satires,  book  i.  ii.  105. 

I.eporem  venator  ut  alta 

In  nive  sectitur,  positum  sic  tangere  nolit: 

Cantat  et  ai)|)onit :  meus  est  amor  huic  similis  ;  nam 

Transvolat  in  n)cdio  posita,  et  fugientia  captat. 

Nearly  .a  translation  of  the  eleventh  epigram  of  Callimaclins, 
which  ends, 

X^Juof  tpuy  T0l4sr!£'  Tu  jicv  (pc'vyoira  Siiixitv 
otic,  Ta  i'  iv  fiiaaif  Kei/icfa  rrapTriTaTai. 

t  In  the  edititm  of  lti78  it  is  Hey-day,  but  either  may  stand 
as  they  both  signify  a  mark  of  admiration.  Sec  Skinner  and 
Junius. 


140  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part* 

So  cowards  never  use  their  might, 

Dut  against  siicli  as  will  not  fight.  3Ul 

So  some  diseases  liave  been  found 

Only  to  seize  upon  tlio  sound.* 

He  that  gets  her  by  heart,  must  say  her 

Tiio  back-way,  hl?c  a  witcii's  prayer. 

Meanwhile  tli'e  Kniglit  iiad  no  small  task  34.= 

To  compass  what  he  durst  not  ask : 

He  loves,  but  dares  not  make  the  motion  ; 

Her  ignorance  is  liis  devotion  :t 

Like  caitiff  vile,  that  for  misdeed 

Rides  with  his  face  to  rump  of  steed  ;t  350 

Or  rowing  scull  he's  fain  to  love, 

Look  one  way,  aud  another  move  ; 

Or  like  a  tumbler  that  does  play 

His  game,  and  looks  another  way,§ 

Until  he  seize  upon  the  coney  ;  355 

Just  so  does  he  by  matrimony, 

But  all  in  vain  :  l)cr  subtle  snout 

Did  quickly  wind  his  meaning  out ; 

Which  she  return'd  with  too  much  scorn 

To  be  by  man  of  honour  born  ;  300 


*  It  is  common  for  horses,  as  well  as  men,  to  be  afflicted 
'•  with  sci;aica,  or  rheumatism,  to  a  great  degree  for  weeks  to- 
"  gether,  and  when  they  once  get  clear  of  the  fit,"  as  we  term 
it,  •'  have  perhaps  never  heard  any  more  of  it  while  they  lived: 
"  for  these  distempers,  with  some  others,  called  salumry  distem- 
■pers,  seldom  or  never  seize  upon  an  unsound  body."  See 
Bracken's  Farriery  Improved,  ii.  46.  The  meaning,  then,  from 
V.  338,  is  this:  As  the  widow  loved  none  that  were  disposed  to 
love  her,  so  cowards  tight  with  none  that  are  disposed  to  fight 
with  them  :  so  some  diseases  seize  upon  none  that  are  already 
distempered,  and  in  appearance  proper  siilijccts  for  them,  but 
ui)on  those  only  who,  through  the  firmness  of  their  constitution, 
seem  least  disposed  for  such  attacks. 

t  That  is,  her  icnorance  of  his  love  makes  him  adore  and 
pursue  her  with  greater  ardor:  but  the  poet  here  means  to  ban- 
ter the  papists,  who  deny  to  the  conuuon  people  the  use  of  the 
bible  or  prayer-book  in  the  vulgar  tongue:  hence  tliey  are 
charged  with  asserting,  that  ignorance  is  the  mother  of  devo 
tion. 

t  Dr.  Grey  supposes  this  may  allude  to  five  members  of  the 
army,  who,  on  the  Gth  of  March,  1(548,  were  forced  to  undergo 
this  punishment,  for  petitioning  the  Rump  for  relief  of  the  op- 
Dressed  commonwealth. 

$  A  sort  of  dog,  that  rolls  himself  ina  heap,  and  tumbles  over, 
Jisguising  his  shape  and  motion,  till  he  is  within  reach  of  his 
Zame.  This  dog  is  called  by  the  Latins  Vertagus.  See  CaiUJ 
lie  canibus  Brilannicis,  and  Martial,  lib.  xiv.  Epig.  200. 

Kon  sibi,  sed  domino  venatur  vertagus  acer, 
lUxsum  leporem  qui  tibi  denle  feret. 


•  jiNTOUi.]  IIUDIBRAS.  141 

Yet  much  he  bore,  until  the  distress 

He  Kuffer'd  from  his  spijjhtful  mistress 

Did  stir  his  stomach,  and  tlie  pain 

He  had  endur'd  from  lior  disdain 

Turn'd  to  regret  so  rcsokile,  3(jj 

Tliat  ho  resolv'd  to  wave  his  suit, 

And  either  to  renounce  her  quite, 

Or  for  a  while  pkiy  least  in  sight. 

This  resolution  b'ing  put  on, 

Ho  kept  some  months,  and  more  had  don«,  370 

But  being  brought  so  nigh  by  fate, 

The  vict'ry  ho  achiev'd  so  late 

Did  set  his  thoughts  agog,  and  ope 

A  door  to  discontinu'd  hope,* 

That  seem'd  to  jjromise  he  might  win  375 

His  dame  too,  now  his  hand  was  in  ; 

And  that  his  valour,  and  tiie  honour 

He  'ad  newly  gaia'd,  might  work  upon  her : 

These  reasons  made  his  mouth  to  water, 

With  am'roiis  longings,  to  be  at  her.  380 

Tliought  he  unto  himself,  who  knows 
But  this  brave  conquest  o'er  my  foes 
May  reach  her  heart,  and  make  that  stoop, 
As  I  but  now  have  forc'd  the  troop  ? 
If  nothing  can  oppugne  love,t  385 

And  virtue  invious  ways  can  prove, t 
What  may  not  he  confide  to  do 
That  brings  both  love  and  virtue  too? 
But  thou  bring'st  valour  too,  and  wit, 
Two  things  that  seldom  fail  to  hit.  390 

Valour's  a  mouse-trap,  wit  a  gin. 
Which  women  oft'  are  taken  in  :§ 
Then,  Hudibras,  why  siiould'st  thou  fear 
To  be,  that  art  a  conqueror  ? 

Fortune  tiie  audacious  doth  juvare,  395 

But  let's  the  timidous|i  miscarry  : 
Then,  while  the  honor  thou  hast  got 
Is  spick  and  span  new,  piping  hot, 

*  One  of  the  canting  phrases  used  bv  the  sectaries, 
t  Read  oppugn*,  to  make  three  syllables. 

t  Virtus,  recludens  imnieritis  inori 

CiEluiii,  negate  tentat  iter  via. 

Herat.  Carm.  lib.  iii.  2. 

$  We  often  see  women  captivated  by  a  red  coat,  or  a  copy  of 
verses. 

II  JiudaicouK,  and  timirlous,  two  words  from  audas  and  timid 
IS ;  the  hero  being  in  a  latinizing  humor. 


H2  HUDIBRAS  [Part*. 

Strike  her  up  bravely  thou  hadst  best, 

And  trust  thy  fortune  with  the  rest.  400 

Such  thoughts  as  these  the  Knight  did  keep 

More  than  his  bangs,  or  fleas,  from  sleep  ; 

And  as  an  owl,  that  in  abani 

"sees  a  mouse  creeping  in  the  corn. 

Sits  still,  and  shuts  his  round  blue  eyes,  403 

As  if  he  slept,  until  he  spies 

The  little  beast  within  his  reacii, 

Then  starts  and  seizes  on  the  wretch  ; 

So  from  his  couch  the  Knight  did  start, 

To  seize  upon  the  widow's  heart ;  410 

Crying,  with  hasty  tone  and  hoarse, 

Ralpho,  dispatch,  to  horse,  to  horse  ! 

And  'twas  but  time  ;  for  now  the  rout, 

We  left  engag'd  to  seek  him  out. 

By  speedy  marches  were  advanc'd  415 

Up  to  the  fort  where  he  ensconc'd,* 

And  had  the  avenues  all  possest 

About  the  place  from  east  to  west. 

That  done,  awhile  they  made  a  halt, 
To  view  the  ground,  and  where  t'  assault :  420 

Then  call'd  a  council,  which  was  best, 
By  siege,  or  onslaught,  to  inve&tt 
The  enemy  ;  and  'twas  agreed 
By  storm  and  onslaught  to  proceed. 
This  being  resolv'd,  in  comely  sort  423 

They  now  drew  up  t'  attack  the  fort ; 
When  Hudibras,  about  to  enter 
Upon  anothergates  adventure,! 
To  Ralpho  caird  aloud  to  arm. 

Not  dreaming  of  a])proaching  storm.  430 

Whether  dame  fortune,  or  the  care 
Of  angel  bad,  or  tutelar, 
Did  arm,  or  thrust  him  on  a  danger, 
To  which  he  was  an  utter  stranger, 
That  foresight  miglit,  or  might  not,  blot  43o 

The  glory  he  had  newly  got ; 
Or  to  his  shame  it  might  be  said. 
They  took  him  napping  in  his  bed  : 


*  An  army  is  said  to  be  ensconced,  wlien  it  is  fortified  oi  dc 
■ended  by  a  small  Inrtor  sconce. 

t  Onslaught,  that  is,  a  coup  de  main,  a  sudden  storming,  or 
aitikrk. 

t  Si'e  Sanderson,  p.  47,  third  sermon  ad  clerum.  "  If  we  be 
•'of  llie  spirituality,  there  should  be  in  us  anothergates  m?r.I- 

tiMtutiuu  of  the  spirit." 


Camtu  hi.]  IIUDIBRAS.  jjj 

To  them  we  leave  it  to  expound. 

That  deal  in  sciences  profound.  440 

His  courser  scarce  he  iiad  bestrid, 
And  Ral])ho  tliat  on  which  lie  rid, 
When  setlintj  ope  the  postern  gate, 
To  take  the  field  and  sally  at, 

The  foe  appear'd,  drawn  up  and  drill'd,*  445 

Ready  to  cliargo  tlicni  in  the  field. 
This  somewhat  startled  the  bold  Knight, 
Surpris'd  with  th'  unexpected  sight  : 
The  bruises  of  his  bones  and  flesh 
Ho  thought  began  to  smart  afresh  ;  150 

Till  recollecting  wonted  courage, 
His  fear  was  soon  converted  to  rage. 
And  thus  he  spoke  :  The  coward  foe, 
Whom  we  but  now  gave  quarter  to. 
Look,  yonder's  raliy'd,  and  appears  t55 

As  if  they  had  outrun  their  fears  ; 
The  glory  we  did  lately  get. 
The  Fates  command  us  to  repeat  ;t 
And  to  their  wills  wo  must  succumb, 
Quocunqite  trahunt,  'tis  our  doom.  160 

This  is  the  same  numeric  crew 
Which  we  so  lately  did  subdue  ; 
The  self-sam(3  individuals  that 
Did  run,  as  mice  do  from  a  cat, 
When  we  courageously  did  wield  163 

Our  martial  weapons  in  the  field, 
To  tug  for  victory :  and  when 
We  shall  our  shining  blades  agen 
Brandish  in  terror  o'er  our  heads,t 
They'll  straight  resume  their  wonted  dreads.  170 

Fear  is  an  ague,  that  forsakes 
And  haunts,  by  fits,  those  whom  it  takes  ; 
And  they'll  opine  they  feel  the  pain 
And  blows  they  felt  to-day,  again. 
Then  let  us  boldly  charge  them  home,  475 

And  make  no  doubt  to  overcome. 


*  To  drill,  is  to  e.xercise  and  teach  the  military  discipline. 

t  This  is  exactly  in  the  style  of  victorious  leaders.  Thus 
Hannibal  encouraged  his  men  :  "These  are  the  same  Romans 
"  whom  you  have  beaten  so  often."  And  Octavius  addressed 
his  soldiers  at  Actium  :  "  It  is  the  same  Antony  whom  you  once 
"drove  out  of  the  (ield  before  Mutina:  Be,  as  you  have  been, 
'  conquerors." 

%  ' dTivaaaniv  <pdayavov  i^v.     Iloiner. 


144  IIUDIBRAS.  fl'ART  i. 

/This  said,  his  courage  to  inflame, 
He  call'd  upon  his  mistress'  name,* 
His  pistol  next  lie  cock'd  anew, 

And  out  Ills  niit-btown  wliinyaid  drew  ;1  48U 

And  placing  Ralplio  in  the  i"ront,t 
Rcserv'd  himself  to  bear  the  brunt. 
As  expert  warriors  use  ;  then  ply'd, 
With  irou  heel,  his  courser's  side, 
Conveying  sympathetic  speed  48.1 

From  heel  of  knight  to  heel  of  steed. 
^~~l\Ieanwhile  the  foe,  with  equal  rage 
A.nd  speed,  advancing  to  engage, 
Both  parties  now  were  drawn  so  close, 
Almost  to  come  to  handy-blows:  490 

When  Orsin  first  let  fly  a  stone 
At  Ralpho  ;  not  so  huge  a  one 
As  that  which  Diomcd  did  maul 
iEneas  on  the  bum  witlial  ;§ 

Yet  big  enough,  if  rightly  hurl'd,  495 

T'  have  sent  him  to  another  world, 
Whether  above  ground,  or  below. 
Which  saints,  twice  dipt,  are  destin'd  to.|| 


*  Cervantes,  upon  almost  every  occasion,  makes  Quixote  in- 
voke his  Dulcinca.  Mr.  Jarvis.'in  liis  life  of  Cervantes,  f)b- 
serves,  from  the  old  collection  of  Ppanij^h  laws,  that  they  hold  it 
a  nohle  thing  to  call  upon  the  name  of  their  mistresses,  that 
their  hearts  may  swell  with  an  increase  of  courage,  and  their 
shame  be  the  greater  if  they  fail  in  their  attempt. 

t  This  word  w)iinyard  signifies  a  sword.  Skinner  derives  it 
from  the  Sa.\on  winnan,  lo  win  or  acquire  honor  ;  but,  as  it  is 
chiefly  used  in  contempt.  Johnson  derives  it  from  whin,  furze; 
so  wh'inniard,  the  short  scythe  or  instrument  with  which  coun 
try  people  cut  whins. 

I  Like  Thraso  in  Terence.  Eunuchus,  iv.  7,  who  says,  "  Efio 
sro  post  principia." 

'S  5  6e  ■)(tpjxniiov  \nSt  x£i/)i 

Tvltibrii,  fxfya  epyov,  o  ov  6vo  y   ai'fint  ■pipoitv, 
O7o(  vvv  fifiOToi  I'la'  b  it  f.iv  "pia  vdXXt  Kal  oJos- 
Tij  6d\ev  A.tvdao  <car'  laxiov,  cvOa  re  //tjjoj 

Iliad,  v.  302 

And  Juvenal : 

nee  hunc  lapidem,  quali  sc  Turnns,  et  Ajax ; 
Vel  quo  Tydides  percussit  pondere  coxam 
JEncx  ;  sed  qiiem  valeaiu  eniitlere  dexlra: 
lliis  dissimiles,  et  noslro  tempore  natie. 

Sat.  XV.  05. 

t|  The  anabaptists  thought  they  obtained  a  higher  degree  of 
Mtintship  by  being  rebaptized. 


ANTom.]  IICDIUKAS.  I45 

Tlie  daiiffer  slartled  the  bold  Squire, 

And  made  him  some  few  slops  retire  j  500 

But  Iludibras  advaiic'd  to's  aid, 

And  rous'd  liis  si)irits  half  dismnv'd  ; 

He  wisely  doubting  lest  the  shot 

O'  th'  enemy,  now  growinji  hot, 

Might  at  a  distance  gall,  press'd  close,  505 

To  come,  pell-mell,  to  handy  blows. 

And  that  he  might  their  aim  decline, 

Advanc'd  still  in  an  oblique  line  ; 

But  prudently  forbore  to  fire. 

Till  breast  to  breast  he  had  got  nigher  ;*  51 1 

As  expert  warriors  use  to  do, 

Wiien  hand  to  hand  they  charge  their  foe. 

This  order  the  advcnt'rous  Knight, 

Most  soldier-like,  observ'd  in  fight. 

When  Fortune,  as  she's  wont,  turn'd  fickle,  515 

And  for  tl'.o  foe  began  to  stickle. 

The  more  shame  for  her  Goodyship 

To  give  so  near  a  friend  the  slij). 

For  Colon,  choosing  out  a  stone, 

Ijcveird  so  right,  it  thnmp'd  upon  520 

His  manly  paunch,  with  snch  a  force, 

As  almost  beat  him  off  his  horse. 

He  loos'd  his  whinyard,  and  the  rein. 

But  laying  fast  hold  on  the  mane. 

Preserved  his  seat :  and,  as  a  goose  525 

In  death  contracts  Iiis  talons  close. 

So  did  the  knight,  and  with  one  claw 

The  trigger  of  his  pistol  draw. 

The  gun  went  off;  and  as  it  was 

Still  fatal  to  stout  Hndibras,  530 

In  all  his  feats  of  arms,  when  least 

He  dreamt  of  it,  to  prosper  best. 

So  now  he  far'd  :  the  shot  let  fly, 

At  random,  'mong  the  enemy, 

Pierc'd  Talgol's  gaberdine,!  and  grazing  535 

Upon  his  shoulder,  in  the  passing 

Lodg'd  iu  Magnauo's  brass  habergeon, t 


*  Oliver  Cromwell  ordered  his  soldiers  to  reserve  their  (Ire 
till  tliey  were  near  enough  ihe  enemy  to  be  sure  of  doing  exe- 
cution. 

t  .An  old  French  word  for  a  smock  frock,  or  coarse  coat. 

t  Ilalier;;;eon,  a  diminnlive  of  the  I'rench  word  haulicrg,  a 
l)reastplate  ;  and  derived  from  [llio  Oernian]  hats,  coUuni,  and 
bercen  sen  pergen,  tegere.  See  Chaucer.  Here  it  signifies  the 
linker's  budget. 


146  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part 

Who  straight,  A  surgeon  cry'd — a  surgeon  ! 

lie  tumbled  down,  and,  as  he  fell, 

Did  murder  !  murder  !  murder  I  yell.*  54t 

This  startled  their  whole  body  so. 

That  if  the  Knight  had  not  let  go 

Ilin  arms,  but  been  in  warlike  plight, 

H'  had  won,  the  second  time,  the  fight ; 

As,  if  the  Squire  had  but  full'n  on,  543 

He  had  inevitably  done  : 

But  he,  diverted  with  the  care 

Of  Hudibras  his  wound,  farbare 

To  press  th'  advantage  of  his  fortune, 

While  danger  did  the  rest  dishearten.  551 

For  he  with  Cerdon  b'ing  engag'd 

In  close  encounter,  they  botli  wag'd 

The  fight  so  well,  'twas  hard  to  say 

Which  side  w^as  like  lo  get  the  day. 

And  now  the  busy  w'ork  of  d-eath  55i 

Had  tir'd  them  so  they  'greed  to  breathe, 

Preparing  to  renew  tiie  figiit. 

When  th'  hard  disaster  of  the  knight, 

And  th'  other  party,  did  divert 

.4nd  force  their  sullen  rage  to  part.  SCO 

Ralpho  press'd  up  to  Hudibras, 

And  Cerdon  where  Magnano  was. 

Each  striving  to  confirm  his  party 

With  stout  encouragements  and  hearty. 

Quoth  Ralpho,  Courage,  valiant  Sir,  565 

And  let  revenge  and  honour  stir 
Your  spirits  up  ;  once  more  fiiU  on. 
The  shatter'd  foe  begins  to  run  : 
For  if  but  half  so  well  you  knew 
To  use  your  vict'ry  as  subdue,t  570 

They  durst  not,  after  such  a  blow 
As  you  have  giv'u  them,  face  us  now  ; 


*  To  howl  or  use  a  lamentable  cry,  from  the  Greek,  IdXcjiCS 
or  iXgXu^ai;  ejulo,  a  mournful  sons  used  at  funerals,  and  prac 
tised  to  this  day  in  some  parts  of  Ireland,  and  the  highlanils  of 
Scotland. 

t  This  perhaps  has  some  reference  to  Prince  Ttupert,  who  was 
gonnrally  successful  at  his  first  onset,  lint  lost  his  advantage  by 
too  long  a  pursuit.  Echard,  vol.  ii.  p.  480.  The  same  is  said  of 
Ilaniiilial,  Floras,  lib.  ii.  Ciip.  6.  Uuliium  deinde  non  erat,  quin 
nltiniuin  ilium  diem  habitura  fuerit  Koma  quinlunu)ue  intra 
diem  epulari  Annibal  in  c;ipitolin  potuerit,  si  (quod  Pcenuni  ilium 
dixisse  .\dherl)alem  Bomiluaris  ferunt)  Annibal  qunnadmodnn 
Mciret  rinc.ere.  sic  uti  victarin.  tcisset.  Cmsnt  said  the  same  of 
Pompey.     tsuolun.  in  Vita. 


Canto  iii.J  HUDIBRAS.  I47 

But  frorri  so  formidable  a  soldier, 

Had  fled  like  crows  when  tlicy  smell  powder. 

Thrice  have  they  seen  your  sword  aloft  573 

Wav'd  o'er  their  heads,  and  fled  as  oft : 

But  if  you  let  them  recollect 

Their  spirits,  now  clismay'd  and  clieck'd. 

You'll  have  a  harder  game  to  play 

Than  yet  y'  have  had,  to  get  the  daj%  5bO 

Thus  spoke  the  stout  Squire  ;  but  was  heard 
By  Hudihras  with  small  regard. 
His  thoughts  were  fuller  of  the  bang 
He  lately  took,  than  Ralpii's  harangue ; 
To  which  he  answcr'd,  Cruel  fate  585 

Tells  me  thy  counsel  comes  too  late, 
The  clotted  blood  within  my  hose,* 
That  from  my  wounded  body  flows, 
With  mortal  crisis  doth  portend 

My  days  to  appropiuquet  an  end.  590 

I  am  for  action  now  unfit, 
Either  of  fortitude  or  wit  ; 
Fortune,  my  foe,  begins  to  frown, 
Resolv'd  to  pull  my  stomach  down. 
I  am  not  apt,  upon  a  wound,  595 

Or  trivial  basting,  todispond  ; 
Yet  I'd  bo  loath  my  days  to  curtail ; 
For  if  I  thought  my  wounds  not  mortal. 
Or  that  w'  had  time  enough  as  yet 
To  make  an  honourable  retreat,  6tt0 

'Twere  the  best  course  ;  but  if  they  find 
We  fly,  and  leave  our  arms  behind 
For  them  to  seize  on,  the  dishonour. 
And  danger  too,  is  such,  I'll  sooner 
Stand  to  it  boldly,  and  take  quarter,  605 

To  let  them  see  I  am  no  starter. 
In  all  the  trade  of  war  no  feat 
Is  nobler  than  a  brave  retreat : 
For  those  that  run  away,  and  fly, 
Take  place  at  least  o'  th'  enemy.  610 

This  said,  the  Squire,  with  active  speed, 
Dismounted  from  his  bonyt  steed 
To  seize  the  arms,  whicii  by  mischance 
Fell  from  the  bold  Knight  in  a  trance. 


•  In  some  editions — the  knotted  hlood. 

t  One  of  the  knight's  hard  words,  signifying  to  approach,  oi 
draw  near  (o. 
t  In  some  editions  it  is  bonny,  but  I  prefer  the  reading  of  1078. 

13 


I4S  HUDIBRA.*5.  [Part  i 

These  being  found  out,  and  restor'd  fil! 

To  Hudibras,  their  natural  lord, 

The  active  Squire,  witli  might  and  main, 

Prepar'd  in  haste  to  mount  again. 

Til  rice  he  assay 'd  to  mount  aloft ; 

But  by  his  weighty  bum,  as  oft  62C 

He  was  pull'd  back  ;  'till  having  found 

Th'  advantage  of  the  rising  ground, 

Thither  he  led  his  warlike  steed. 

And  having  plac'd  him  right,  with  speed 

Prepar'd  again  to  scale  the  beast,  023 

When  Orsin,  who  had  nowly  drest 

The  bloody  scar  upon  the  shouldei 

Of  Talgol,  wilh  Promethean  powder.* 

And  now  was  searching  for  the  shot 

That  laid  Maguano  on  the  spot,  630 

Behind  the  sturdy  Squire  aforesaid 

Preparing  to  climb  up  his  horse-side  ; 

He  left  his  cure,  and  laying  hold 

Upon  his  arms,  with  courage  bold 

Cry'd  out,  'Tis  now  no  time  to  dally,  635 

The  enemy  begin  to  rally : 

Let  us  that  are  unhurt  and  whole 

Fall  on,  and  happy  man  he's  dole.t 

This  said,  like  to  a  thunderbolt. 
He  flew  with  fury  to  th'  assault,  640 

Striving  the  enemy  to  attack 
Before  he  reach'd  his  horse's  back. 
Ralpho  was  mounted  now,  and  gotten 
O'erthwart  his  beast  with  active  vaulting, 
Wriggling  his  body  to  recover  645 

His  seat,  and  cast  his  right  leg  over; 
When  Orsin,  rushing  in,  bestow'd 
On  horse  and  man  so  heavy  a  load. 
The  beast  was  startled,  and  begun 


*  See  canto  ii.  v.  225. — In  a  long  cnunirralion  of  his  several 
beneficent  inventions,  t'rdnietlieiis,  in  Aeschylus,  hoasts  espe- 
cially of  his  conununicatiiig  to  mankind  the  knowledge  of  inedi 
cincs. 

sSci^a  Kpdcca  flTTtuiv  iKt<TndTti)v 
ais  Tai  atrdcai  iiajjvvu)VTai  vdau;. 

.^•^scli.  Pronieth.  vinct.  v.  401,  ed.  Biomf. 

t  See  Shakspcare,  Taming  tlie  Shrew,  Act  i.  sc.  1,  and  Win 
ter's  Tale,  Act  i.  sc.  2. 

Dole,  from  daelan,  to  distribute,  signifies  the  shares  formerly 
given  at  funerals  and  other  occasions.  May  h;ippiness  be  his 
share  or  lot,  May  the  lot  of  the  happy  man  be  his.  As  we  say 
of  a  {Xirson  at  the  point  of  death,  (iod  rest  liis  soul. 


CANTO  III.]  IIUDIBRAS.  149 

To  kick  and  fling  like  mad,  and  rnn,  050 

Bearing  the  toiigli  Scjuire,  like  a  sack, 

Or  stout  king  Uicliard,  on  his  back  ;* 

'Till  stumbling,  he  threw  iiim  down,+ 

Sore  bruis'd,  and  cast  into  a  swoon. 

Meanwiiile  tiie  Knight  began  to  rouse  653 

Tiie  sparkles  of  his  wonted  prowess  ; 

Ho  thrust  his  hand  into  his  hose, 

And  found,  both  by  his  eyes  and  nose, 

'Twas  only  choler,  and  not  blood, 

That  from  his  wounded  body  flow'd.t  G60 

Tiiis,  with  the  hazard  of  the  Squire, 

EnHam'd  him  with  desiiightful  ire  ; 

Courageously  he  fac'd  about. 

And  drew  his  other  pistol  out, 

And  now  bad  half-way  bent  the  cock,  065 

When  Cerdon  gave  so  fierce  a  shock, 

With  sturdy  truncheon,  'thwart  his  ami, 

That  down  it  fell,  and  did  no  harm  : 

Then  stoutly  pressing  on  with  speed, 

Assay'd  to  imll  him  off  his-steed,  670 

The  knight  his  sword  luid  only  left, 

With  which  he  Ceidou's  head  had  cleft, 

Or  at  the  least  crojjt  oiT  a  limb. 

But  Oisin  came  and  rescii'd  him. 

He  with  his  lance  attack'd  the  Knight  675 

Upon  his  quarters  opposite. 

But  as  a  bark,  that  in  foul  weather, 

Toss'd  by  two  adverse  winds  together. 

Is  bruis'd  and  beaten  to  and  fro, 

And  knows  not  which  to  turn  him  to .  G80 

So  far'd  the  Knight  between  two  foes, 

And  knew  not  which  of  them  t'  oppose  ; 

'Till  Orsin  charging  with  his  lance 

At  Hudibras,  by  s])ightful  chance 

Hit  Cerdon  such  a  bang,  as  stunn'c  685 

And  laid  him  flat  upon  the  ground. 

At  this  the  Kuight  began  to  cheer  up, 


•  After  the  battle  of  Bosworth-ficlil,  the  body  (if  Richard  III 
was  stripped,  and  in  !iu  ijziiciuiinious  manner  laid  across  o 
horse's  back  like  a  sliiii<;htered  deer  ;  his  head  and  arms  hang 
ng  on  one  side,  and  his  legs  on  the  other,  besmeared  with  blood 
and  dirt. 

t  We  must  here  read  stiunlilcins,  to  make  three  syllables,  as 
In  verse  770  lightcjiinsr,  so  in  j^".)  read  sarcasmcs ;  or,  perhaps, 
we  may  read  stiunbelinji,  sarcasems,  &c. 

t  The  delicate  reader  will  easily  guess  v.'hat  is  here  intendei} 
by  the  word  choler. 


150  HUDIBRAS.  [Parti 

And  raising  np  himself  on  stirrup, 

Cry'd  out,  Victoria  !  lie  thou  there,* 

And  I  shall  straight  dispatch  another,  CDC 

To  bear  thee  company  in  death  :t 

But  first  I'll  halt  awh.le,  and  breathe. 

As  well  he  mi^ht :  for  Orein  griev'd 

At  th'  wound  that  Cerdon  had  receiv'd, 

Ran  to  relieve  him  with  his  lore,  695 

And  cure  the  hurt  he  made  before. 

Meanwhile  the  Knight  had  wheel'd  about, 

To  breathe  himself,  and  next  find  out 

Th'  advantage  of  the  ground,  where  besf 

He  might  the  ruffled  foe  infest.  700 

This  being  resolv'd,  he  spurr'd  his  steed, 

To  run  at  Orsin  with  full  speed, 

While  he  was  busy  in  the  care 

Of  Cerdon's  wound,  and  unaware : 

But  he  was  quick,  and  had  already  705 

Unto  the  part  apply'd  remedy  ; 

And  seeing  th'  enemy  prei)ar'd, 

Drew  up,  and  stood  upon  his  guard  : 

Then,  like  a  warrior,  right  expert 

And  skilful  in  the  martial  art,  710 

The  subtle  Kniglit  straight  made  a  halt, 

And  judg'd  it  best  to  stay  th'  assault, 

Until  he  had  relieved  the  Squire, 

And  then,  in  order,  to  retire  ; 

Or,  as  occasion  should  invite,  715 

With  forces  join'd  renew  the  fight- 

Ralpho,  by  this  lime  disentranc'd, 

TTpon  his  bum  himself  advanc'd. 

Though  sorely  bruis'd  ;  his  limbs  all  o'er. 

With  ruthless  bangs  were  stitTand  sore  ;  72 j 

Right  fain  he  would  have  got  upon 

His  feet  again,  to  get  him  gone  ; 

When  Hudibras  to  aid  him  came. 

Quoth  he,  and  call'd  him  by  liis  name, 

Courage,  the  day  at  length  is  ours,  723 

And  we  once  more  as  conquerors, 

Have  both  the  field  and  honour  won. 

The  foe  is  profligate,  and  run  ; 

•  Thus  Virgil  and  Homer : 

Ilesperiiim  inelire  jncens.    JEn.  xii.  360. 

Islic  mine,  iiietiien(Je,  jace.    ^n.  x.  557. 

'EvTavOul  vuv  Ktiao.   11.   ^^.  1^2. 
\  This  is  a  banier  upon  some  of  the  speeches  in  Ilomei. 


Canto  m.]  IKIDIIUIAS.  151 

I  mear  all  such  as  can,  for  soino 

This  )/and  hath  sent  to  tlieir  lonn;  homo  ;  73C 

And  some  lie  spr;i\vliiigf  on  tlic  gioiind, 

With  many  a  gash  and  hloody  wound. 

Cossar  lihnself  could  never  say, 

He  got  two  vict'ries  in  a  day, 

As  1  have  done,  that  can  say,  twice  I,  735 

In  one  day,  veni,  vidi,  vici.* 

The  foe's  so  numerous,  that  wo 

Cannot  so  often  vincere.t 

And  they  perirc,  and  yet  enow 

Be  left  to  strike  an  after-hlow.  740 

Then,  lest  they  rally,  and  once  more 

Put  us  to  figiit  the  bus'ness  o'er, 

Get  up  and  mount  thy  steed  ;  dispatch, 

And  let  us  both  their  niolions  watch. 

Quoth  Ralph,  I  should  not,  if  I  were  745 

In  case  for  action,  now  bo  hero  ; 
Nor  have  I  turn'd  my  back,  or  hang'd 
An  arse,  for  fear  of  being  bang'd. 
It  was  for  you  I  got  these  harms, 
Advent'ring  to  fetch  off  your  arms.  750 

The  blows  and  drubs  I  have  receiv'd 
Have  bruised  my  body,  and  bereav'd 
My  limbs  of  strength  :  unless  you  stoop. 
And  reach  your  hand  to  pull  me  up, 
I  shall  lie  here,  and  be  a  prey  753 

To  those  who  now  arc  run  away. 

That  thou  shalt  not,  quotii  Iludlbras : 
We  read,  the  ancients  held  it  was 
More  honourable  far  servare 

Civem,  than  slay  an  adversary  ;  700 

The  one  we  oft'  to-day  have  done. 
The  other  shall  dispatch  anon  : 
And  tho'  th'art  of  a  diff'rcut  church, 
I  will  not  leave  thee  in  the  lurch. t 
This  said,  he  jogg'd  lys  good  steed  nigher,  763 


*  The  favorite  terms  hy  which  Cxsar  described  his  victory 
over  l'h;irn;iies.  In  his  consequent  triumph  at  Rome,  these 
words,  (translated  thus  into  Knjilish,  I  came,  I  saw,  I  overcame,) 
were  piintod  on  a  tablet  and  carried  bel'ore  him.  See  Plutarch's 
Life  ol'  Julius  Ciesnr. 

t  A  great  (leneral,  beinp  informed  that  his  enemies  were  Very 
numerous,  replied,  then  there  are  enouijh  to  be  killed,  enough 
to  bo  taken  prisoners,  and  enough  to  run  away. 

i  This  is  a  sneer  at  the  Independents,  who,  when  they  had 
eotten  possession  of  the  povernnicnt,  deserted  their  old  allies, 
Ihe  Presbvterians,  and  treated  them  with  great  liauieur 


152  IIUDIBUAs.  [Part  i 

And  steer'd  him  gently  toward  the  Squire  ; 

Tlien  bowing  down  his  body,  strclcli'd 

His  hand  out,  and  at  a  Uulpho  reach'd  ; 

When  Triilla,  whom  lie  did  not  mind, 

Charg'd  him  like  lightning  behind.  Tlf. 

She  had  been  long  in  search  about 

Magnano's  wound,  to  find  it  out ; 

But  could  find  none,  nor  where  the  shot 

That  liad  so  startled  him  was  got  • 

But  having  found  the  worst  was  past,  775 

She  fell  to  her  own  work  at  last. 

The  pillage  of  the  prisoners. 

Which  in  all  feats  of  arms  was  hers : 

And  now  to  plunder  Ralph  slie  flew. 

When  Iludibras  his  hard  fate  drew  78C 

To  succour  him  ;  for,  as  he  bow'd 

To  help  him  up,  she  laid  a  load 

Of  blows  so  heavy,  and  plac'd  so  well, 

On  th'  other  side,  that  down  he  fell. 

Yield,  scoundrel  base,  quoth  she,  or  die,  78'' 

Thy  life  is  mine,  and  liberty  : 
But  if  thou  think'st  I  took  thee  tardy. 
And  dar'st  presume  to  be  so  hardy. 
To  try  thy  fortune  o'er  afresh, 

I"ll  wave  my  title  to  thy  flesh,  »90 

Thy  arms  and  baggage,  now  my  right : 
And  if  thou  hast  the  heart  to  try't, 
I'll  lend  thee  back  thyself  awhile,* 
And  once  more,  for  that  carcase  viie. 
Fight  upon  tick. — Qnoth  Kudibras,  79£ 

Thou  orter'st  nobly,  valiant  lass. 
And  I  shall  take  thee  at  thy  word. 
First  let  me  rise,  and  take  my  sword  ; 
That  sword,  which  has  so  oft  this  day 
Through  squadrons  of  my  foes  made  way,  fiOO 

And  some  to  other  worlds  dispatch'd. 
Now  with  a  feeble  spinster  malch'd. 
Will  Dlush  with  blood  ignoble  slain'd. 
By  which  no  honour's  to  be  gain'd.t 

*  Charles  XII.,  king  of  Sweden,  hnving  taken  a  town  from 
the  duke  of  Saxony,  ihen  king  '<(  Poland,  the  duke  intimated 
lliat  tliere  must  have  heen  treachery  in  the  case.  On  which 
Charles  oflered  to  restore  the  towa,  replace  the  garrison,  and 
then  take  it  liy  storm. 

f  Nullum  nieniorabile  nnmen 

Foenilnca  in  pouna  est,  nee  habet  victoria  laudem, 

Virg.  jfineid.  ii.  584. 


Canto  hi.]  HL'DIBHAS. ^^3 

But  if  tlioii'lt  take  m'  advice  in  this,  803 

Consider,  while  thou  nmy'st,  what  'tis 

To  iutcniipl  a  victor's  course, 

B'  oi)j>osiiii>-  such  a  trivial  force. 

For  if  with  conquest  I  come  off. 

And  that  I  shall  do  sure  enough,  eiC 

Quarter  thou  canst  not  have,  nor  grace. 

By  law  of  arms,  in  such  a  case  ; 

Both  which  I  now  do  offer  freely. 

I  scorn,  (luolli  she,  tiiou  coxcomb  silly, 
Clapping  her  hand  ui)ou  her  breech,  dlS 

To  shew  how  much  she  priz'd  his  speech. 
Quarter  or  counsel  fioni  a  foe: 
If  thou  canst  force  mo  to  it,  do. 
But  lest  it  should  again  be  said. 

When  I  have  once  more  won  thy  head,  820 

I  took  thee  napping,  unjirepar'd. 
Arm,  and  betake  thee  to  thy  guard. 

This  said,  she  to  her  tackle  fell, 
And  on  the  Knight  let  full  a  |)cal 
Of  blows  so  fierce,  and  i)rest  so  home,  <325 

That  he  retir'd,  and  follow'd's  bum. 
Stand  to'(,  quoth  she,  or  yield  to  mercy, 
It  is  not  fighting  arsie-versie* 
Shall  serve  thy  turn. — This  stirr'd  his  spleen 
More  than  the  danger  he  was  in,  830 

The  blows  he  felt,  or  was  to  feel. 
Although  Ih'  already  made  him  reel, 
Honour,  despight,  revenge,  and  shame, 
At  once  into  his  stomach  came  ; 
Which  fir'd  it  so,  he  rais'd  his  arm  835 

Above  his  head,  and  rain'd  a  storm 
Of  blows  so  terrible  and  thick. 
As  if  he  meant  to  hash  her  quick. 
But  she  upon  her  truncheon  took  them. 
And  by  oblique  diversion  broke  them  ;  840 

Waiting  an  opportunity 
To  pay  all  hack  with  usury. 
Which  long  she  fail'd  not  of;  for  now 
The  Knight,  with  one  dead-doing  blow. 
Resolving  to  decide  the  fight,  845 

And  she  with  quick  and  cunning  slight 


154  HUDIBRAS.  [Vaut  i 

Avoidinir  it,  the  .brce  and  weiglit 

He  cliarg'd  upon  it  was  so  great, 

As  almost  sway'd  liim  to  the  ground ; 

No  sooner  she  tli'  advantage  loiuul,  85fl 

But  in  she  flew  ;  and  seconding. 

With  home-made  thrust,  the  heavy  swing, 

She  laid  him  flat  upon  iiis  side, 

And  mounling  on  his  trunk  astride, 

Quoth  she,  1  told  thee  what  would  come  35J 

Of  all  thy  vapouring,  base  scum. 

Say,  will  tiie  law  of  arms  allow 

1  may  have  grace,  and  quarter  now? 

Or  wilt  tliou  rather  break  thy  word, 

And  stain  thine  honour,  tiian  thy  sword?  Sfio 

A  man  of  war  to  damn  his  soul, 

In  basely  breaking  his  parole. 

And  when  before  the  fight,  th'hadst  vowed 

To  give  no  quarter  in  cold  blood  ; 

Now  thou  hast  got  me  for  u  Tartar,*  SCI 

To  make  m'  against  my  will  take  quarter ; 


*  The  Tartars  had  much  rather  die  in  battle  than  take  quarter. 
Hence  the  proverb,  Thou  hast  caufiht  a  Tarttir.— A  man  catches 
II  Tartar  when  he  falls  into  his  own  trap,  or  having  ;i  design 
upon  another,  is  caught  hinisell". 

Help,  help,  cries  iino,  I  have  caught  a  Tartar.  Bring  him 
along,  answers  his  comrade.  He  will  not  come,  says  he.  Then 
come  without  liim,  quoth  the  other.  But  he  will  not  let  me, 
says  the  Tartar-catcher.  1  have  somewhere  read  the  following 
lines : 

Seres  inter  nationemque  Tartaram 
Flagrabat  helium,  fortiler  vero  priidians 
Ter  ipse  mann  propria  Tartaruni  (iccupans. 
Extempio  exclamat — Tartaruni  preliendi  nianu  ; 
Veniat  ad  me.  Dux  inquit  cxercitus, 
At  se  venire  velle  Tartarus  negat: 
At  tecum  ducas  illico — sed  non  vult  sequi, 
Tu  solus  venias — Vellem,  sed  nou  nic  sinit. 
Plautus  has  an  exjjression  not  much  unlike  this,— potitiis  esj 
hostium,  to  signify  he  was  ttiken  prisoner.— Mr.  I'eck,  see  New 
Memoirs  of  Milton's  Life,  p.  237,  explains  it  in  a  dirt'erent  man- 
ner.    "  Bajazet,"  says  he,  "  was  taken  prisoner  by  Tamerlane, 
"W'ho,  when  he  first  saw  him,  generously  asked,  '  Now,  sir,  if 
'"you  had  taken  me  prisoner,  as  I  have  ynu,  tell  me,  I  pray, 
"  '  what  you  would  have  done  with  me  V     '  If  I  had  taken  you 
'•'prisoner.'  said  the  fooli.-h  Turk,  'I  would  have  thrust  you 
" '  under  the  table  when  I  did  eat,  to  gather  up  the  crumbs  with 
"'the  dogs;  when  I  rode  out,  I  would  have  mailc  your  neck  a 
'horsing-block;  and  when  I  travelled,  you  also  should  have 
'  been  carried  along  with  me  in  an  iron  cage,  for  every  fool  to 
hoot  and  shout  at.'     '  1  thought  to  have  u<ed  yon  better,'  said 
the  gallantTaiiierlane  ;  '  but  since  you  intended  to  have  served 
•'me  thus,  you  have'  (cnuplit  a  Tartar,  for  hence  1  reckon  cam*' 
'that  proverb)  'justly  jironounccd  your  doom.'  " 


fANTo  HI.]  UUDIBRAS.  156 

Why  dost  not  put  me  to  the  sword, 
But  cowardly  fly  from  thy  word  ? 

Quotli  lludlbras,  The  day's  tliine  own  ; 
Thou  and  thy  stars  liave  cast  me  down:  870 

My  laurels  are  transplanted  now, 
And  flourish  on  thy  conqu'ring  brow; 
My  loss  of  honour's  great  enough. 
Thou  nccdst  not  brand  it  with  a  scoft': 
Sarcasms  may  eclipso  thine  own,  875 

But  cauiiot  blur  my  lost  reuown: 
I  am  not  now  in  fortune's  power, 
He  that  is  down  can  fall  no  lower.* 
The  ancient  heroes  were  illustr'ous 
For  being  benign,  and  not  blust'rous  880 

Against  a  vanquish'd  foe:  their  swords 
Were  sharp  and  trenchant,  not  their  words ; 
And  did  in  fight  but  cut  work  out 
T'  employ  their  courtesies  about.t 

Quoth  she,  Altho'  thou  hast  deserv'd,  885 

Base  Slubberdegullion,t  to  be  serv'd 
As  thou  didst  vow  to  deal  with  me, 
If  thou  hadst  got  the  victory  ; 
Yet  I  should  ratlier  act  a  part 

That  suits  my  fame,  than  thy  desert.  890 

Thy  arms,  thy  liberty,  beside 
All  that's  on  th'  outside  of  thy  hide, 
Are  mine  by  military  law,^ 
Of  which  1  will  not  bate  one  straw ; 
The  rest  thy  life  and  liuibs,  ouce  more,  895 

Though  doubly  forfeit,  1  restore. 

*  Qui  (Iccumbit  humi,  non  habet  iimie  cadat. 

T  See  Cleveland,  p.  144,  in  his  letter  to  the  Protector.  "The 
"most  renowned  hercies  have  ever  with  s\ich  tenderness  cher- 
"islied  their  captives,  tliat  their  swords  did  but  cut  outwork  tot 
"  their  courtesies."    Thus  Ovid ; 

Quo  c\ms  enim  major,  niagis  est  placabilis  irae 
Et  Ikciles  niotus  mens  generosa  capit. 
And  again  the  same: 

Corpora  magnanimo  satis  est  prostrasse  leoni 
Pugna  suuni  finem,  cum  jacet  hostis.  habet. 

Ovid.  'J'rist.  lib.  iii. 
1  That  is,  a  drivelling  fool  :  to  slubber,  or  slabl)cr,  in  Itrilish, 
is  lo  (liivcl ;  in  the  Teutonic,  it  signifies  to  slip  or  slide,  and  so 
metaphorically  to  do  a  thing  ill  or  faultily,  or  negligently;  and 
gul,  or  gullioH,  the  diminutive,  a  fool,  or  jjcrson  easily  imposed 
upon. 

§  In  public  duels  all  horses,  pieces  of  broken  armor,  or  othej 
furniture  that  fell  to  the  ground,  after  the  coiubatunts  entered 
the  lists,  were  the  feei'  of  the  marshal. 


156  JIUDIBRAS.  [Parti 

Quoth  Iliidibrus,  It  is  too  lute 
For  me  to  treat  or  stipulate  ; 
What  thou  comrnuiid'st  I  must  obey ; 
Yet  those  wliom  1  expugii'd  to-day,  90t 

Of  thine  own  party,  1  let  go, 
And  gave  tiieni  lil'e  and  freedom  too, 
Both  dogs  and  bear,  upon  their  parol. 
Whom  I  took  pris'ncrs  m  this  quarrel. 

Quoth  Trulla,  Whcllier  thou  or  they  005 

Let  one  another  run  away. 
Concerns  not  me ;  but  was't  not  thou 
Tiiat  gave  Crowdero  quarter  too  ? 
Crowdero,  whom  in  irons  bound. 
Thou  basely  threw'st  into  Lob's  pound,*  Pie 

Where  still  he  lies,  and  with- regret 
His  generous  bowels  rage  and  fret : 
But  now  thy  carcase  shall  redeem. 
And  serve  to  be  exchang'd  for  him. 

This  said,  the  Knight  did  straight  submit,  91.'; 

And  laid  his  weapons  at  her  feet : 
Next  he  disrob'd  his  gaberdine, 
And  with  it  did  himself  resign. 
She  took  it,  and  forthwith  divesting 
The  mantle  that  she  wore,  said,  jesting,  920 

Take  that,  and  wear  it  for  my  sake  ; 
Then  threw  it  o'er  his  sturdy  back  : 
And  as  the  French,  we  conquer'd  once, 
Now  give  us  laws  for  pantaloons. 
The  length  of  breeches,  and  the  gathers,  925 

Port-caunons,  perriwigs,  and  featliers,t 


*  A  vulgar  expression  for  any  place  of  confinement,  pirticu- 
larly  the  stocks.— Dr.  Grey  mentions  a  story  of  Mr.  Lob,  a 
preacher  among  the  dissenters.  Wlien  their  meetings  were 
prohihited,  he  contrived  a  trap-door  in  his  pulpit,  which  led, 
through  many  dark  windings,  into  a  cellar.  His  adversaries 
once  pursued  him  into  these  recesses,  and,  groping  aliout,  said 
one  to  another,  that  they  were  got  into  l^oh's  pound. 

This  gentleman,  or  one  of  the  sime  name  and  calling,  is  men 
tloned  by  Mr.  Prior,  in  his  epistle  to  Fleetwood  Shephard, 
esijuire : 

So  at  pure  barn  of  loud  non-con. 
Where  with  my  granam  I  have  gol  e. 
When  Lobb  had  sifted  all  his  le.xt. 
And  I  well  hop'd  the  pudding  next, 
"Now  to  apply,"  has  plagu'd  me  more 
Than  all  his  villain  cant  before.  " 

[Massinger  has  the  phrase,  fD.ike  of  Milan,  A  iii.  sc.  2,)  but 
not  in  the  sense  of  a  place  of,  at  least  permanent,  confinement.] 
t  (Hir  successful  battles  in  France  have  always  been  men- 
^oned  vvilh  pleasure ;  and  we  seem  at  no  time  to  have  been 


iJanto  hi.]  IIUDII3RAS.  jg'j 

Just  so  the  proud,  insultin^r  lass 
Array'd  and  di<jlitcd  HudiliTOs.* 

Moaiiwliilo  tlie  otiipr  clKuiipious,  yerstt 
In  liiiny  of  the  fi;,'lit  dis])eist,  »j3l 

Arriv'd,  when  Ti'ulla'd  won  tlic  day, 
To  share  in  tli'  honour  and  the  prey, 
And  out  of  Iludibras  Jiis  hide. 
With  vengeance  to  be  satisfy'd  ; 
Wliich  now  tliey  were  about  to  pour  933 

Upon  liini  in  a  wooden  show'r : 


nverse  to  the  French  fashions.  Pantaloons  were  a  kind  of 
h)osc  brccclies,  conimonly  made  of  silk,  and  ptifFed,  which  cov 
ered  the  le<;s.  Ihi;:lis,  and  part  of  the  Imdy.  They  are  represent- 
ed in  some  of  Vaiiilyke's  pictures,  and  m.iy  lie  seen  in  tlie  harle- 
quin entertainments.  Port-cannons,  were  ornaments  ahont  the 
knees  of  tlie  lireeches ;  they  were  (.Town  to  such  excess  in 
Trance,  that  Ahiliere  was  thought  to  have  done  pond  service,  by 
laughing  them  (JUt  of  fashion.  Mr.  Butler,  in  his  Genuine  Re- 
mains, vol.  ii.  p.  83,  says  of  the  hutlinj;  courtier,  he  walks  in  his 
Port-cannons  like  ime  that  stalks  in  Ion}:  grass.  In  his  Genuine 
Remains,  our  poet  often  derides  the  violent  imitati<in  of  French 
fashions.  In  the  second  volume  is  a  satire  entirely  on  this  sub- 
ject, which  was  a  very  proper  oliject  of  ridicule,  as  after  the 
Restoration,  not  only  the  politics  of  the  court  led  to  it,  but,  like- 
wise, an  e;irnest  desire  among  the  old  cavaliers  of  avoiding  the 
formal  and  precise  gravity  of  the  times  immediately  preceding. 
In  the  Pindaric  Ode  to  the  memory  of  Uu  Val,  a  poem  allowed 
to  be  written  by  our  author: 

In  France,  the  staple  of  new  modes, 
Where  garbs  and  miens  are  current  goods. 
That  serves  the  ruder  northern  nations, 
With  methods  of  address  and  treat, 
Prescribes  new  garnitures  and  fashions, 
And  how  to  drink,  and  how  to. eat, 
No  out  of  fashion  wine  or  meat : 
Conform  their  palates  to  the  mode. 
And  relish  that,  and  not  the  food; 
And,  rather  than  transgress  the  rule, 
Kat  kilchen-stiiff,  and  stinking  ("owl ; 
For  that  \\  hich  we  call  stinking  here, 
Is  but  pi<iuant,  and  haut-gout,  there. 

Pcrriwigs  were  branght  from  France  about  the  latter  end  of 
the  reign  of  James  the  First,  but  not  much  in  use  till  after  the 
Restoration. 

At  fir.-t,  they  were  of  an  immense  size  in  large  flowing  curls, 
as  we  see  them  in  eternal  buckles  in  Westminster  Abbey,  and 
on  other  monuments.  Lord  Bolingliroke  is  said  to  be  tlie  first 
who  tied  them  up  in  knots,  as  the  counsellors  wore  them  some 
time  ago  :  this  was  esteemed  so  creat  an  undress,  that  when  his 
lordship  first  went  to  court  in  a  wig  of  this  fishion,  queen  Anne 
was  oflcndeil,  anil  said  to  those  about  her,  "  this  man  will  come 
"to  me  next  court-day  in  his  nicht-cap." 

*  l)igh!e<l,  from  the  Anglo  Sa.\on  word  digtan,  to  dress,  fit 
out,  polish. 

t  Erst,  adverb,  superlative  degree,  i.  c.  first,  from  er,  before 


158  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  . 

But  Trtilla  thrust  iiereelf  between, 

And  slridiiifj  o'er  his  back  ageii, 

She  br.iiuiiiih'd  o'er  lier  liead  his  sword, 

And  vow'd  tlicy  should  not  break  her  word  ;  940 

Sh'  liud  give.i  him  quarter,  and  lier  blood. 

Or  theirs,  should  make  tliat  quarter  good. 

For  she  was  bound,  by  law  of  arms, 

To  see  him  safe  from  further  harms. 

In  dungeon  deep  Crowdero  cast  945 

By  Hudibras,  as  yet  lay  fast, 

Where  to  the  hard  and  ruthless  stones,* 

His  great  heart  made  perpetual  moans  ; 

Him  she  resolv'd  that  Hudibras 

Should  ransom,  and  supply  his  place.  taO 

This  stopp'd  their  fury,  and  the  basting 
Which  toward  Hudibras  was  hasting, 
riiey  thought  it  was  but  just  and  right. 
That  what  she  had  aciiiev"d  in  fight. 
She  should  dispose  of  how  she  pleas"d  ;  955 

Crowdero  ought  to  be  releas'd  : 
Nor  could  that  any  way  he  done 
So  well,  as  this  she  pitcli'd  upon  : 
For  who  a  better  could  imagine  ? 
This  therefore  they  resolv'd  t'  engage  in.  960 

The  Knight  and  Squire  first  they  made 
Rise  from  the  ground  where  they  were  laid, 
Then  mounted  botii  upon  their  horses. 
But  witii  their  faces  to  tlie  arses. 
Orsin  led  Hudibras's  beast,  965 

And  Talgol  that  which  Ralpho  prest ; 
Whom  stout  Magnano.  valiant  Ccrdou. 
And  Colon,  waited  as  a  guard  on  ; 
All  ush'ring  Trulla,  in  the  rear. 

With  th'  arms  of  either  prisoner.  970 

In  this  proud  order  and  array. 
They  put  themselves  upon  their  way, 
Striving  to  reach  th'  enchanted  Castle, 
Where  stout  Crowdero  in  durance  lay  still. 
Thither  with  greater  speed  than  shows,  9*«5 

And  triumph  over  conquer'd  foes. 
Do  use  t'  allow  ;  or  than  the  bears. 
Or  pageants  born  before  lord-mayors,t 


•  Thus  Virgil : 

Mor.tibus  et  silvis  studio  jactabat  inanu 
t  I  believe  at  the  lord-mayor's  show,  bears  were  led  in.  proces- 
•lon,  and  afterwards  baited  lor  the  diversion  of  the  popalace. 


CkHTo  iii.l  IIUDIBRAS.  163 

Are  wont  to  use,  they  soon  arriv'd, 

In  order,  soldier-like  coiitriv'd  :  080 

Still  niarcliiiig  in  a  warlike  posture, 

As  fit  for  battle  as  for  nuistcr. 

T.ie  Knight  and  Squire  they  first  unhorse. 

And,  bending  'gainst  the  fort  their  force, 

They  all  advanc'd,  and  round  about  985 

Begirt  the  magical  redoubt. 

Magiian'  led  up  in  this  adventure. 

And  made  way  for  the  rest  to  enter : 

For  ho  was  skilful  iu  black  art, 

No  less  than  he  that  built  the  fort,*  9J0 

And  with  an  iron  mace  laid  flat 

A  breach,  which  strc.  ^ht  all  enter'd  at, 

And  in  the  wooden  dungeon  found 

Crowdero  laid  upon  the  ground  ; 

Him  they  release  from  durance  base,  995 

Restor'd  t'  his  fiddle  and  his  case, 

And  liberty,  his  thirsty  rage 

With  luscious  vengeance 'to  assuage  ; 

For  he  no  sooner  was  at  largo. 

But  Trulla  straight  brought  on  the  charge,  1000 

And  in  the  self-same  limbo  put 

The  Knight  and  Squire,  where  he  was  shut ; 

Where  leaving  them  i'  tli'  wretched  hole,t 

Their  bangs  and  durance  to  condole, 

Confin'd  and  coujur'd  into  narrow  1005 

Enchanted  mansion,  to  know  sorrow. 

In  the  same  order  and  array 

Which  they  advanc'd,  they  march'd  away: 

But  Hudibras,  who  scorn'd  to  stoop 

To  fortune,  or  bo  said  to  droop,  1010 

Cheer'd  up  himself  with  ends  of  verse, 

And  sayings  of  philosophers. 

Quoth  he,  Th'  one  half  of  man,  his  mind, 
Is,  sui  juris,  uncoufia'd,t 


The  procession  of  the  mob  to  the  stocks  is  compared  to  three 
things:  a  Roman  triumph,  <a  lord-mayor's  show,  and  leaning 
bears  about  the  streets. 

*  Magnano  is  before  described  as  a  blacksmith,  or  tinker.  See 
Canto  ii.  1.  .•?;{(;. 

t  In  the  edition  of  1704  it  is  printert  in  Hocldij  hole,  meaning, 
by  a  low  pun,  the  place  where  their  hocks  or  ankles  were  con- 
fined. Hockley  Hole,  or  Hockley  i"  th'  Hole,  was  the  name  of  a 
piace  resorted  to  for  vulgar  diversions. 

t  Our  author  here  shows  his  learninr,  by  bantering  the  stoic 
:)hilosophy  ;  and  his  wit,  by  comparing  Alexander  the  Creal 
with  Diogenes. 


IfiO 


HUDIBRAS.  [Part 


And  cannot  be  laid  by  the  heels,  101! 

What  e'er  the  oilier  moiety  feels. 

'Tis  not  restraint,  or  liberty,* 

That  makes  men  prisoners  or  free  : 

l{iit  portiubalious  tiiat  possess 

The  mind,  or  cqnanimifies.  1020 

The  whole  world  was  not  half  so  wide 

To  Alexander,  when  he  cry'd. 

Because  he  had  but  one  to  siibdue,t 

As  was  a  paltry  narrow  tub  to 

Piogeues  ;  wiio  is  not  said,t  1025 

For  aught  that  ever  I  could  read. 

To  whine,  put  linger  i'  th'  eye,  and  sob, 

Because  h'  had  ne'er  another  tub. 

The  ancients  make  two  several  kinds 

Of  prowess  in  heroic  minds,  1030 

The  active  and  the  passive  valiant, 

Both  which  arc  pari  lihra  gallant ; 

For  both  to  give  blows,  and  to  carry, 

In  fights  are  equi-nccessary  : 

But  in  defeats,  the  passive  stout  103i 

Are  always  found  to  stand  it  out 

Most  desp'rately,  and  to  out-do 

The  active,  'gainst  a  conqu'ring  foe  : 

Tho'  we  with  blacks  and  blues  are  suggil'd,^ 

Or,  as  the  vulgar  say,  are  cudgel'd  ;  10-iu 

*  Quisnam  isiuir  liber  ?  sapiens,  sil)ique  iniperiosus ; 
Quern  neqiie  p:uiiieries,  iieciue  iiiDis,  neqiie  vincula 

terrent: 
Responsare  ciipitliiiilms,  conteiimere  honores 
Fonis  ;  et  in  scipsn  toUis  teres  aUjue  rounidus, 
Externi  ne  quid  valeal  per  liBve  iiiorari  ; 
In  queiii  iiianca  rail  semper  Curtiina. 

llorat.  lib.  ii.  Sat.  vii.  8^. 


■f  rjniis.  Polla'O  juveni  non  sultir it  i)rl)is  : 

^stiial  inl'elix  ani-ustci  llmilc  niiuuli 

J  Liven.  Sat.  x.  108 

J  Dolia  niiili 

Non  ardent  Cynici:  si  f'reyeris,  altera  fiet 
Cras  douius,  am  eailcin  |iliuiili<)  conimissa  manebit. 
Sensit  Alexander,  tesia  ciim>  vidit  in  ilia 
Mafinuni  haliitati>reni.  qiianlo  fclitioi  hie,  qui 
Nilciiperet,  quaiii  qui  Kiluni  silii  poscerct,  orbcni, 
Passuru!.  jestis  a'quiinda  pericula  rebus. 

"  '  .luven.  Sat.  xiv.  308. 

(  From  suggillo,  to  beat  black  and  blue. 


Canto  iu.]  IIUDIBRAS.  161 

He  that  is  valiant,  and  dares  fight, 

Though  drnbb'd,  can  lose  no  honour  by't. 

Honour's  u  lease,  for  lives  to  come, 

And  cannot  bo  extended  from 

Tlie  legal  tenant  :*  'tis  a  chattel  1043 

Not  to  be  forfeited  in  battel.+ 

If  he  that  iu  the  field  is  shun. 

Bo  ill  tile  bed  of  lionour  laiu,t 

Ho  that  is  beaten  may  be  said 

To  lie  in  honour's  truckle-lied. 6  1030 

For  as  we  sec  th'  eclipsed  sun 

By  mortals  is  more  gaz'd  upon 

Than  when,  adoru'd  with  all  his  light. 

He  shines  in  serene  sky  most  bright ; 

So  valour,  in  a  low  estate,  1055 

Is  most  adniir'd  and  wonder'd  at. 

Quoth  Ralph,  How  great  I  do  not  know 
We  may,  by  being  beaten,  grow  ; 
But  none  that  see  how  here  we  sit, 
Will  judge  us  overgrown  with  wit.  lOGO 

As  gifted  brethren,  preaching  by 
A  carnal  hour-glass, ||  do  imply 
Illumination,  can  convey 
Into  them  what  they  liave  to  say. 
But  not  how  much  ;  .so  well  enough  10(j5 

Know  you  to  charge,  but  not  draw  off. 
For  who,  without  a  cap  and  bauble, IT 
Having  subdu'd  a  bear  and  rabble, 
And  might  with  honour  have  come  off, 
Would  put  it  to  a  second  proof:  1070 

A  politic  exploit,  right  lit 
For  Presbyterian  zeal  and  wit.** 

*  Vivit  post  funcra  virtus. 

t  A  man  cannot  be  deprived  of  his  honor,  or  forfeit  it  to  tlic 
tonijiicror,  as  lie  does  liis  arms  and  accdulremenis. 

X  "The  bed  of  honor,"  says  Farqiihar,  "is  ii  niijilily  iarsc 
'  bed.  Ten  thousaml  people  may  lie  in  it  together,  and  never 
"  feel  one  another." 

§  The  iruL-kle-bcd  is  a  small  bed  upon  wheels,  which  goes 
under  the  larger  one, 

II  'I'his  preaching  by  the  hour  gave  room  for  many  jokes.  A 
punning  preacher,  having  talked  a  full  hour,  turned  his  hour- 
glass, and  said:  Come,  my  friends,  let  us  lake  the  other  glass. 
The  frames  for  these  hour-glasses  remained  in  many  churches 
till  very  lately. 

IT  Who  but  a  fool  or  child,  one  who  deserves  a  fool's  cap,  or  a 
cliild's  play-thing. 

**  Ralpho,  being  chagrined  by  his  situation,  not  only  blan'es 
the  misconduct  of  thn  knight,  vvliich  had  brought  them  into  the 
scrape,  but  sneers  at  hiiii  i  ir  his  religious  principles     The  iDrt^r 


(02  IIUDIBRAS.  ,  Pari  I 

Quoth  Iludibras,  That  cuckco's  touo, 
Ralpho  thou  always  har|)'st  upon  ; 
When  tliou  at  any  tiling  wouWst  rail,  I07i 

Thou  niak'st  presbytery  thy  scale 
To  take  the  heigiit  on't,  and  explain 
To  what  degree  it  is  profane. 
What  s'ever  will  not  with  tiiy — what  d'ye  c^ll 
Thy  light — jump  riglit,  thou  call'st  synodical.       lOSn 
As  if  presbytery  were  a  standard 
To  size  what  s'ever's  to  be  slander'd. 
Dost  not  remember  how  this  day 
Thou  to  my  beard  wast  bold  to  say, 
That  thou  could'st  prove  bear-baiting  equal  1085 

With  synods,  orthodox  and  legal? 
Do,  if  thou  canst,  for  I  dcny"t, 
And  dare  thee  to't,  with  all  thy  light.* 

Quoth  Ralpho,  Truly  that  is  no 
Hard  matter  for  a  man  to  do,  1090 

Tiiat  has  but  any  guts  in's  brains,t 
Ar<;Ocould  believe  it  worth  his  pains  ; 
Bat  since  you  dare  and  urge  me  to  it. 
You'll  find  I've  light  enough  to  do  it. 

Synods  are  mystical  bear-gardens,  1095 

Where  elders,  deputies,  church-wardens, 
And  other  members  of  the  court. 
Manage  the  Babylonish  sport. 
For  prolocutor,  scribe,  and  bearward. 
Do  differ  only  in  a  mere  word.  HOC 

Both  are  but  sev'ral  synagogues 
Of  carnal  men,  and  bears,  and  dogs: 
Both  antichristian  assemblies. 
To  mischief  bent,  as  far's  in  them  lies : 
Both  stave  and  tail  with  fierce  contests,  1105 

The  one  with  men,  the  other  beasts, 
The  dirt''reuce  is,  the  one  fights  with 
The  tongue,  the  other  with  the  teeth  ; 
And  that  they  bait  but  bears  in  this, 
In  th'  other  souls  and  consciences  ;  1110 

Where  saints  themselves  are  brought  to  stake, t 

l«ndents.  at  one  time,  were  as  invctcnilc  afrninst  tlic  I'resbyre- 
riiins,  as  both  of  them  were  against  the  church.  For  an  c.\pla 
nation  of  some  followin!;  ver.-es,  see  the  note  on  Canto  i.  4.'i7. 

*  The  Independents  wore  great  pretenders  to  the  liyht  of  tho 
spirit.  They  supposed  thtit  all  tlieir  actions,  as  well  as  Iheii 
pravers  and  pre  icjiings,  were  immediately  directed  liy  it. 

t  A  proverbial  expression  fur  one  who  has  some  share  of  com 
gun  sense. 

X  The  Pres  jy  terians  when  in  power,  by  ineaci  of  their  synods 


.'^ANTo  III.]  IRIDIBUAS.  J63 

For  gospel-light  and  conscience-sake  ; 

Expos'd  to  scribrs  and  presbyters, 

Instead  of  mustiirdogs  and  curs  ; 

Tiian  whom  tli'  have  less  humanity,  1113 

For  these  at  souls  of  men  will  fly. 

This  to  the  prophet  did  appear, 

Who  in  a  vision  saw  a  bear, 

Prefiguring  the  beastly  rage 

Of  churcii-rule,  in  this  latter  age  :*  .  190 

As  is  demonstrated  at  full 

By  him  tiiat  hailed  the  pope's  bull.t 

Bears  naturally  are  beasts  of  prey. 

That  live  by  rapine  ;  so  do  they. 

What  are  their  orders,  constitutions,  1125 

Church-censures,  curses,  absolutions, 

But  sev'ral  mystic  chains  they  make, 

To  tic  poor  C'iiristians  to  the  stake? 

And  then  set  heathen  officers. 

Instead  of  dogs,  about  their  ears.t  113C 

For  to  prohibit  and  dispense. 

To  find  out,  or  to  make  oflcnce  ; 

Of  hell  and  heaven  to  dispose. 

To  play  with  souls  at  fast  and  loose  : 

To  set  what  characters  they  please,  1135 

And  mulcts  on  sin  or  godliness  ; 

Reduce  the  church  to  gospel-order. 

By  rapine,  sacrilege,  and  murder ; 

To  make  presbytery  sujireme. 

And  kings  themselves  submit  to  them  ;§  1140 


assemblies,  classes,  scribes,  presbyters,  triers,  orders,  censures, 
curses,  &c.,  &c.,  perseciUed  the  ministers,  lioih  oflhe  Independ- 
ents and  of  the  Church  of  England,  with  vii)lente  and  cruelty 
little  short  of  the  inquisition.  Sir  Rouer  L'Estrange  mentions 
some  strong  instances  ol  their  persecuting  tenets. 

*  Daniel  vii.  ."i.  "  Anil  behold  another  beast,  a  second,  like  to 
n  bear;  and  it  raised  up  itself  on  one  side;  and  it  had  three  ribs 
in  the  month  of  it,  between  the  teeth  of  it:  and  they  said  thus 
unto  it.  Arise,  devour  much  fl(!sh." 

t  The  baiting  of  the  pope's  bull  was  the  title  of  a  pamphlet 
written  by  Henry  Burton,  rector  of  St.  Matthew,  Friday-street, 
and  printed  at  London  in  1027. 

t  'J'acitus  says  of  the  persecutions  under  Nero,  pereuntibus 
addita  ludibria,  ut  I'erarum  tergis  contecti,  laniatu  canum  interl- 
rent.     Annal.  xv.  44. 

$  The  disciplinarians,  in  the  reign  of  queen  Elizabeth,  main- 
tained that  kings  ought  to  be  subject  to  ecclesiastical  censures, 
ns  well  as  other  persons.  This  doctrine  was  revived  by  the 
•"resbyterians  afterwards,  and  actually  put  in  practice  by  the 
Scots,  in  their  treatment  of  Charles  11.  while  he  continuert 
tmong  them.    The  Presbyterians,  in  the  civil  war,  maintJiineJ 


164  IILD115KAS.  [Part  , 

And  force  all  people,  the'  against 

Their  consciences,  to  turn  saints; 

Must  prove  a  ])retty  lhrivin<j  trade, 

When  saints  monopolists  are  made: 

When  pious  frauds,  and  holy  siiifts,  1143 

Are  dispensations,  and  gifts  ; 

There  godliness  becomes  mere  ware, 

And  cv'ry  synod  but  a  fair. 

Synods  are  whelps  o'  th'  Inquisition, 
A  mungrel  breed  of  like  pernicion,*  1150 

And  growing  up,  became  the  sires 
Oi  scribes,  commissioners,  and  triers  ;t 
Whose  bus'ness  is,  by  cunning  slight, 
To  cast  a  figure  for  men's  light ; 
To  find,  in  lines  of  beard  and  face,  1153 

The  physiognomy  of  grace  :i 
And  by  the  sound  and  twang  of  nose, 
If  all  be  sound  within  disclose, 
Free  from  a  crack,  or  flaw  of  sinning. 
As  men  try  pipkins  by  the  ringing  ;§  11(30 

that  princes  must  submit  their  sceptres,  and  throw  di)\vn  their 
crowns  before  the  church,  yea,  to  lick  up  ihe  dust  of  the  feet 
nf  the  church. 

'  The  word  pernicion,  perhaps,  is  coined  by  our  author:  he 
means  of  like  destructive  eli'ect,  from  tlie  Latin  pernicies,  though 
it  is  used  elsewhere. 

t  The  Presbyterians  had  a  set  of  officers  called  the  triers,  who 
examined  the  ciindidales  for  orders,  and  Ihe  presentees  to  bene 
fices,  and  sifted  the  qualifications  of  lay  elders.  Pee  Ihe  preface 
to  Walker's  Sulfcriniis  of  the  Cler^'y.  As  the  Presbyterians  de- 
manded of  Ihe  Church  of  England,  What  command,  or  example, 
have  you  for  kneeling  at  the  communion,  for  wearing  a  surplice, 
for  lord  bishops,  for  a  jienned  liturgy,  &c.,  &c.,  so  the  Inde|)end- 
ents  retorted  upon  them  :  Where  arc  your  lay  elders,  your  pres- 
byters, your  classes,  youf  synods,  lo  be  found  in  Scripture  ? 
where  your  steeple  houses,  and  your  national  church,  or  your 
tithes,  or  your  metre  psalins.  or  your  two  sacranients  1  sliow  US 
a  command  or  example  for  them.  Dr.  Hammond's  View  of  the 
IJirectory. 

X  The  triers  pretended  great  skill  in  these  matters.  If  they 
disliked  the  face  or  beard  of  a  man,  if  he  happened  tn  be  of  a 
ruddy  complexion,  or  cheerful  countenance,  they  would  reject 
him  on  these  accounts.  The  precise  an<l  puritanical  laces  of 
those  days  may  be  observed  in  the  prints  of  the  most  eminent 
dissenters. 

The  modern  reader  may  be  inclined  to  think  the  dispute  be- 
tween the  knight  and  the  S(iuire  rather  too  long.  But  if  he 
considers  that  the  great  object  of  the  poem  was  to  expose  to 
scorn  and  contempt  those  sectaries,  and  those  pretenders  to  ex- 
traordinary sanctity,  who  had  overturned  the  consliuition  ij 
church  and  state;  and,  beside  thai,  such  enthusiasts  were  then 
frequently  to  be  met  with  ;  lie  will  not  wonder  that  the  author 
Indulges  himself  in  this  fine  strain  of  wil  and  humor. 

^  They  judged  of  man's  inward  grace  by  his  outward  con» 


Tamo  hi.]  IIUDIBRAS.  165 

By  black  caps,  underlaid  with  white,* 

Give  certain  guess  at  inward  light  ; 

VVhicii  Serjeants  at  the  gospel  W'jar,t 

To  make  the  sp'rituul  calling  ck-ar. 

The  handkerchief  about  the  neck,  11(13 

— Canonical  cravat  of  smcck,t 

From  whom  the  institution  came, 

When  church  and  state  they  sot  ou  flame. 

And  worn  by  them  as  badges  then 

Of  spiritual  warfaring-men, —  1170 

Ju<ige  rightly  if  regeneration 

Be  of  the  newest  cutin  fashion  : 


ptexion.  Dr.  Ecliurd  says,  "If  a  min  had  but  a  liltle  blood  in 
"his  cheeks,  his  condition  was  accounted  very  danfterciis,  and 
"•'  was  ahiiost  an  inl'allible  sign  of  reprobation  :  and  1  will  as 
•  sure  you,"  says  he,  "a  very  honest  man,  of  a  very  sanguine 
"  complexion,  if  he  chance  to  come  by  an  ollicious  zealot's 
"house,  Miisjht  be  put  in  the  stocks  only  for  looking  fresh  in  a 
"  frosty  morning." 

pul?a,  dignoscere  cautiis 

Oiiid  soli<luni  crepet,  et  picta;  tectoria  linKiia;. 

I'ersius,  Sat.  v.  24. 

Many  persons,  particularly  the  Dissenters,  in  our  poet's  time, 
fccre  fond  of  wearing  black  caps  lined  with  white.  See  the 
itnnt  of  IJaxter  and  others.  These  caps,  however,  were  not  pe- 
culiar (o  the  Protestant  sectaries,  nor  always  of  a  black  color; 
niasler  Drurie,  a  Jesuit,  who,  with  a  hundred  of  his  auditors, 
lost  his  life,  Uctol)er  -2(5,  l(i2:!,  by  the  sinking  of  the  garret  floor 
where  he  was  preaching,  is  thus  des(;ril>ed  :  "  When  he  hac 
"read  (his  text)  he  sat  down  in  the  chaire,  and  put  upon  his 
"  head  a  red  quilt  cap,  having  a  linnen  while  one  under  it,  turned 
"up  about  the  brims,  and  so  undertooke  his  text." — The  doleful 
Evensong,  by  Thomas  Good,  4to.  This  continued  a  fashion  for 
liianv  years  after. 

t  The  coif,  or  black  worn  on  the  head,  is  the  badge  of  a  Ser- 
jeant at  law. 

i  A  club  or  junto,  which  wrote  several  books  against  the  king, 
consisting  o<^  five  etninent  holders  forth,  namely:  Sle|)hen  Mar- 
shall, E(huund  Calamy,  Thomas  Young,  JMatthew  Newcomen 
and  William  Spurstow;  the  initials  of  their  names  make  tlie 
word  Smectymnws :  and,  by  way  of  distinction,  they  wore  hand- 
kerchiefs about  their  necks,  which  afterwards  degenerated  into 
carnal  cravats.  Hall,  bishop  of  Exeter,  presented  an  hund)le 
remonstrance  to  the  high  court  of  parliament,  in  behalf  of  liturgy 
and  episcopacy  ;  which  was  answered  by  the  junto  under  this 
title,  The  Original  of  Liturgy  and  Episcopacy  discussed  by 
Smectymni'US  ;  John  Milton  is  supposed  to  have  been  concerned 
in  writing  it. — For  an  account  of  Thomas  Young,  see  Warton's 
notes  on  Milton.— The  five  counsellors  of  Charles  II.  in  the  year 
1(570,  Clifliird,  Arlington,  Buckingham,  Ashley,  Lauderdale,  were 
called  the  Cal)al.  from  the  initials  of  their  names. — Mr.  Mark 
Noble,  in  his  Memoirs  of  the  Cromwell  Family,  says,  "  When 
'•  Oliver  resided  at  St.  Ives,  lie  usually  went  to  church  with  a 
■'  piece  of  red  (lannel  about  his  neck,  as  he  was  subject  to  an  ia- 
'  tlaaunation  in  h.s  throat,"  p.  lOii,  note. 


lee  HUDIBRAS.  [['ARTi 

Sure  'tis  an  orthodox  opinion, 

That  grace  is  founded  in  doniiuion.* 

Great  piety  consists  in  pride  ;  il75 

To  rule  is  to  be  sanctify'd  = 

To  domineer,  and  to  controul, 

Both  o'er  t!ie  body  and  the  soul, 

Is  the  most  perfect  discipline 

Of  church-rule,  and  by  right  divine.  1180 

Bell  and  the  Dragon's  chaplains  wero 

More  moderate  than  those  by  far  :t 

For  they,  poor  knaves,  were  glad  to  cheat, 

To  get  their  wives  and  children  ineat ; 

But  these  will  not  be  fobb'd  off  so,  IISS 

Tlicy  must  have  wealth  and  power  too  ; 

Or  else,  with  blood  and  desolation. 

They'll  tear  it  out  o'  th'  heart  o'  th'  natiou 

Sure  these  themselves  from  primitive 
And  heathen  priesthood  do  derive,  1191) 

When  butchers  were  the  only  clerks,t 
Elders  and  presbyters  of  kirks  ; 
Whose  directory  was  to  kill  ; 
And  some  believe  it  is  so  still. § 

The  only  diff'rence  is,  that  then  1195 

They  slaughter'd  only  beasts,  now  men. 
For  them  to  sacrifice  a  bullock, 
Or,  now  and  then,  a  child  to  Moloch, 
They  count  a  vile  abomination. 

But  not  to  slaughter  a  whole  nation.  1200 

Presbytery  does  but  translate 
The  papacy  to  a  free  state, 
A  common-wealth  ot  popery. 
Where  ev'ry  village  is  a  see 

As  well  as  Rome,  and  must  maiutani  1205 

A  tithe-pig  metropolitan ; 
Where  ev'ry  presbyter,  and  deacon, 
Commands  the  keys  for  cheese  and  bacon  ;|| 

*  The  Presbyterians  had  such  an  esteem  for  power,  that  they 
thought  those  who  obtHined  it  showed  a  mark  ..f  grace ;  ami 
th:it  ihose  only  whu  had  jrr.ice  were  entitled  to  power. 

t  The  priests,  their  wives,  and  children,  feasted  npon  the  pro 
visions  ottered  to  the  idol,  and  pretended  that  he  had  devoured 
them.    See  the  .'Vpoc-rypha. 

J  Both  in  the  heathen  and  Jewish  sacrifices,  the  animal  was 
fiequently  slain  hy  the  priests. 

^  A  b.inler  on  the  directory,  or  form  of  service  drawn  up  by 
the  Pre^hyterians,  and  suljstiuued  for  llie  common  prayer. 

11  Uanifl  BiirL'';ss,  dininjr  with  a  i^entlewoman  of  his  congre- 
ration,  and  a  large  nncnt  Cheshire  cliecse  being  brought  to  table, 
ne  asked  « here  he  sliould  cut  it     She  replied,  Where  yon 


Caijto  111.]  IIUDIBKAiS.  167 

And  ev'iy  hamlet's  governed 

By's  lioliiK'ss,  tlio  cliurcli's  head,*  1210 

More  hauglity  and  scvfio  in's  place 
Than  Gregory  and  Boiiiface.t 
Such  cliiircli  must,  surely,  bo  a  monster 
With  many  heads :  for  ii'  we  conster 
Wliat  in  tir  Apocalypse  we  find,  1215 

According  to  th'  Apostles'  mind, 
"I'is  that  the  Whore  of  Babylon, 
With  many  heads  did  ride  upon  ;t 
Which  heads  denote  the  sinful  tribe 
\)i'  deacon,  priest,  kiy-elder,  scribe.  1220 

Lay-elder,  Simeon  to  Levi,^ 

Vlease,  Mr.  Biireess.    Upon  which  he  ordered  his  servant  to  carry 
t  to  liis  own  house,  tut  he  would  cut  it  at  home. 

•  The  gcMUlcnien  of  Cheshire  sent  a  rt'iiionsirance  to  the  par- 
luin-.nt,  wherein  they  coui|ilained,  lliat,  instead  oC  having  twen- 
ty-six hisliops,  they  were  then  governed  hy  a  nunierons  pres- 
byterv,  aninunting.'with  lay  elders  and  others,  to  40,(ltlO.  This 
government,  say  lliey,  is  purely  papal,  for  every  minister  exer- 
cises ii.»;al  jurisdiction.  Vr.  Grey  quotes  Croni  Sir  John  Birken 
head  revived : 

But  never  look  for  health  nor  peace 

If  once  presliytery  jade  us. 
When  every  priest  heconies  a  pope, 
When  tinkers  and  sow-gelders, 
May,  if  they  can  hut  'scape  the  rope, 
Be  princes  and  lay-elders. 

t  The  f  rmer  was  consecrate<I  in  the  year  1073,  the  latter 
elected  in  «2i)4.  Two  most  insolent  and  assuming  popes,  who 
wanted  to  '■use  the  tiara  ahove  all  the  crowned  heads  in  Chris 
tendon).  Gregory  the  Seventh,  commonly  called  Hildebrand, 
was  the  first  who  arrogated  to  himself  the  authority  to  excom- 
municate and  depose  the  emperor.  Boniface  the  Third,  was  he 
who  assumed  the  tide  of  universal  bishop.  Boniface  the  Kighth, 
it  the  juhilee  instituted  by  himself,  ap|)eared  one  day  in  the 
liabitof  a  pope,  and  the  next  day  in  that  of  an  emperor.  He 
caused  Ivvo  swords  to  be  carried  before  him,  to  show  that  he  was 
invested  with  all  power  ecclesiastical  and  temporal. 

i  The  church  of  Home  has  often  been  compared  to  the  whore 
of  Babylon,  mentioned  in  the  seventeenth  chapter  of  the  Reve- 
lation. The  beast,  which  the  whore  riHle  upon,  is  here  said  to 
signify  the  Presbyterian  establisliment ;  and  the  seven,  or  many 
heads  of  the  beast,  are  interpreted,  liy  the  poet,  to  mean  their 
several  officers,  deacons,  priests,  scribes,  lay-elders,  &.c. 

^  'J'hat  is,  lay-elder,  an  associate  to  the  priesthood,  for  inter- 
ested, If  not  l()r  iniquitous  purposes;  alluding  lo  Genesis  xlix. 
.5,0.  "Simeon  and  Levi  are  brethren;  instruments  of  cruelty 
"are  in  their  habitations:  O,  my  soul,  come  not  thou  into  their 
"secret ;  unto  their  assembly,  mine  honour,  be  not  thou  united 
"for  in  their  anger  they  slew  a  man."  Mr.  Robert  Gordon,  in 
his  History  of  the  illustrious  family  of  Gordon,  vol.  ii.  p.  ]'J7, 
compares  the  solemn  league  and  covenant  with  the  hoiy  league 
In  Prance  :  he  says  they  were  as  like  as  one  egg  to  another,  the 
•na  WHS  nurseu  hy  the  Jesiiits,  the  other  hy  Ihe  Scots  Presbyte- 


168  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  i 

Whose  little  finger  is  as  heavy 

As  loins  of  patriarchs,  prince-i)relate, 

And  bishop-secular*     This  zealot 

Is  of  a  rnungrel,  diverse  kind,  122i 

Cleric  before,  and  lay  behind  ;t 

A  lawless  linsey-woolsey  brother,! 

Half  of  one  order,  half  another  ; 

A  creature  of  amphibious  nature, 

On  land  a  beast,  a  fish  in  water  ;  1230 

That  always  preys  on  grace,  or  sin  ; 

A  sheep  without,  a  wolf  within. 

This  fierce  inquisitor  has  chief 

Dominion  over  men's  belief 

And  manners  ;  can  i)ronounce  a  saint  1235 

Idolatrous,  or  ignorant, 

When  superciliously  he  sifts, 

Through  coarsest  boulter,  otners  gifts.§ 

For  all  men  live,  and  judge  amiss, 

Whose  talents  jump  not  just  with  his.  1210 

He'll  lay  on  gilts  with  hand,  and  place 

On  dullest  noddle  light  and  grace, 

The  manufacture  of  the  kirk. 

Whose  pastors  are  but  th'  handiwork 

Of  his  mechanic  paws,  instilling  12-15 

Divinity  in  them  by  feeling. 

From  whence  they  start  up  chosen  vessels, 

Made  by  contact,  as  men  get  measles. 

So  cardinals,  they  say,  do  grope 

At  th'  other  end  the  new  made  pope.||  1:2;»C 

Hold,  hold,  quoth  Hudibras,  Soft  fire. 
They  say,  does  make  sweet  malt.     Good  Squire, 
Festina  lente,  not  too  fast ; 

rians,  Simeon  and  Levi  See  Doughtie's  Velitationes  Polemics, 
p.  74. 

*  Such  is  the  liishop  and  prince  of  Liege,  anil  sucli  are  sev 
eral  of  the  bishops  in  Germany.  [179!$.] 

t  A  tritlinj;  lioolt  called  a  Key  to  Hudibras,  under  the  name  of 
Sir  Roger  L'Estrange,  pretends  to  dpci|>her  all  the  characters  in 
the  poem,  and  tells  us  thai  one  Andrew  Crawford  w.is  here  in- 
tended. This  character  is  snppnsed  by  others  to  have  been 
designed  for  William  Dunning,  a  Scotch  presbyter.  I!ut,  prol)a- 
bly,  the  author  meant  no  more  than  to  give  a  general  represeu- 
l:Uion  of  the  lay-elders. 

1  Lawless,  because  it  was  forbidden  by  the  LeviticaJ  law  to 
wear  a  niLvture  of  linen  and  woollen  in  the  sanse  garment. 

§  A  bolter  is  a  sieve  bv  which  the  millers  dress  their  flour. 

(i  See,  in  Platina's  Lives  of  the  Popes,  the  well-known  story 
nf  pope  Joan,  or  .lohn  VIII.  The  stercorary  chair,  as  appears  l)y 
Burchard's  Diary,  was  used  at  the  installations  of  Innocent 
VIIL  und  Si.\lus  IV.  See  IJrequigny  in  account  of  MS.  in  lii« 
French  king's  library,  8vo.  J7ci!),  vid.  i.  p.  210. 


i,ANToi!i.l  IIUDIBRAS.  1C9 

For  haste,  the  proverb  says,  makes  waste 
Tlie  quirks  and  cavils  thou  dost  make  255 

A.re  false,  and  built  upon  mistake  : 
.\.ud  I  shall  bring  you,  with  your  pack 
Of  fallacies,  t'  Eleiichi  back  ;* 
And  put  your  arguments  in  mood 
And  iigure  to  be  understood.  (000 

I'll  force  you  by  right  ratiocinatioiit 
To  leave  your  vitilitigation, t 
And  make  you  keep  to  the  question  close, 
And  argue  dialccticis.§ 

"^The  question  then,  to  state  it  first,  I2G5 

Is,  which  is  belter,  or  which  worst, 
Synods  or  beare.     Bears  I  avow 
To  be  the  worst,  and  synods  thou. 
But,  to  make  good  th'  assertion. 

Thou  say'st  th'  are  really  all  one,  1276 

If  so,  not  worst ;  for  if  th'  are  idem. 
Why  then,  tantundem  dat  tantidem. 
For  if  they  are  the  same,  by  course 
Neither  is  better,  neither  worse. 

But  I  deny  they  are  the  same,  1275 

More  than  a  maggot  and  I  am. 
That  both  are  animalia,|l 
I  grant,  but  not  rationalia  : 
For  though  they  do  agree  in  kind, 
Specific  difference  we  find  ;1I  1280 

*  Elenchi  are  arguments  which  deceive  under  an  appearance 
of  truth.  The  knight  says  he  shall  make  the  deceptinn  appa- 
rent. The  name  is  given,  by  Aristotle,  to  those  syllofiisnis 
which  have  seemingly  a  fair.  Imt  in  reality  a  conlradiitory  con- 
clusion. A  chief  design  of  Aristotle's  logic  is  to  estaldisli  rules 
for  the  trial  of  arguments,  and  to  guard  against  sopliisni  :  for  in 
his  time  Zeno,  l>armenides,and  others,  had  set  up  a  false  meth- 
od of  reasoning,  which  he  makes  it  his  business  to  detect  and 
defeat. 

t  Tlie  poet  makes  tio,  in  ratiocination,  constitute  but  one  syl 
htble.  as  in  verse  1378,  but  in  P.  i.  c.  i.  v.  78,  he  makes  tio  two 
Byliahlcs. 

X  That  is,  your  perverse  humor  of  wrangling.  Erasnnis,  in  the 
Moria;  cncominm,  has  the  following  pissage  :  "  Ktonini  non  de- 
"erunt  fortasse  vitilitigatores,  qui  calumnientur  parliiis  leviores 
"esse  nugas  qiiam  ul  theologun;  deceant,  parlimromdaciores 
*  quam  ut  Cliristianie  conveniant  modestiu;."  Vitilitigatores, 
..  e.  olitreclalores  et  calumniatores,  quos  Cato,  novato  verbo,  a 
Pitio  et  morlio  liligandi  vitilitigatores  appellabat,  ut  testaturPlia 
In  pra^fat.  historia;  mundi. 

^That  is,  logically. 

]|  Suppose  we  read: 

That  both  indeed  are  animalia. 

T  Between  aii'mate  and  inanimate  things,  as  hi  'nveen  a  aiaa 


170  IILDIBRVS.  [Part  I 

And  can  no  more  make  bears  of  these, 

Than  prove  my  horse  is  Socrates.* 

That  synods  are  bear-gardens  too, 

Thou  dost  affirm  ;  but  I  say,  No  : 

And  thus  I  prove  it,  in  a  word,  I3P1 

What  s'ever  assembly's  not  impow'r'd 

To  censure,  curse,  absolve,  and  ordain, 

Can  be  no  synod  :  but  Bear-garden 

Has  no  sucii  pow'r,  ergo  'tis  none  ; 

And  so  thy  sophistry's  o'erthrowrn.  1290 

But  yet  we  are  beside  the  question 
Which  thou  didst  raise  the  first  contest  on  : 
For  tiiat  was.  Whether  bears  are  better 
Than  synod-men  ?  I  say,  Negatur. 
That  bears  are  beasts,  and  synods  men,  1295 

Is  held  by  all :  they're  better  then, 
For  bears  and  dogs  on  four  legs  go. 
As  beasts  ;  but  synod-men  on  two. 
'Tis  true,  they  all  have  teeth  and  nails  ; 
But  prove  that  synod-men  have  tails  :  1300 

Or  that  a  rugged,  shaggy  fur 
Grows  o'er  the  hide  of  presbj"ter  ; 
Or  that  his  snout  and  spacious  ears 
Do  hold  proportion  with  a  bear's. 

A  bear's  a  savage  beast,  of  all  1305 

Most  ugly  and  unnatural, 
VVhelp'd  without  form,  until  the  dam 
Has  lickt  it  into  shape  and  frame  :t 
But  all  thy  light  can  ne'er  evict, 

and  a  tree,  there  is  a  generical  difference  ;  that  is,  they  are  not 
of  the  same  Uind  or  genus.  Between  rational  and  sensitive  crea- 
tures, as  a  man  and  a  bear,  there  is  a  specifical  difference  :  foi 
thiHigli  they  agree  in  the  genus  of  animals,  or  living  creatures, 
yet  they  differ  in  the  species  as  to  reason.  Between  two  n)en, 
Plato  and  Socrates,  there  is  a  numerical  difference  ;  for,  though 
they  are  of  the  same  species  as  rational  creatures,  yet  they  are 
not  one  and  the  same,  but  two  men.     See  Part  ii.  Canto  i.  I.  150 

*  Or  that  my  horse  is  a  man.  Aristotle,  in  his  disputations, 
uses  the  word  Socrates  as  an  appellative  for  man  in  general 
From  thence  it  was  taken  up  in  the  schools. 

t  We  must  not  expect  our  poet's  philosophy  to  be  strictly  true : 
it  is  sufficient  that  it  agree  with  the  notions  commonly  handed 
down..   Thus  Ovid  : 

Nee  catutus  partu,  quem  reddidit  ursa  recenti, 
Sed  male  viva  caro  est.    L:imbendo  mater  in  arlus 
Fingit ;  et  in  formaoi,  quantum  capit  ipsa,  reducit. 

Metam.  xv.  379. 

Pliny,  in  his  Natural  History,  lib.  viii.  c.  54,  says  :  "  Hi  soni 

'  Candida  informisque  caro,  paulo  muribus  major,  sine  oculis 

(1q0  pilo:  ungues   tanium  prominent:  hanc  lanibendo  paula 


LANTO  III.]  IIUDIBUAS.  171 

Tliat  ever  synod-man  was  lickt,  13IC 

Or  brought  lo  any  oilier  fashion 
Tlian  liis  own  will  and  inclination. 

IJut  thou  dost  further  yet  in  this 
Oppuf^n  thyself  and  sense  ;  that  is, 
Thou  would'st  have  presbyters  to  go  1.315 

For  bears  and  dogs,  and  bearwards  too  ; 
A  strange  chiniacra*  of  beasts  ai>d  men, 
Made  up  of  pieces  het'rogeno  ; 
Sucli  as  in  nature  never  met. 

In  eodeni  subjecto  yet.  .320 

Thy  other  arguments  arc  all 
Supposures  hypothetical, 
That  do  bat  beg  ;  and  we  may  chuse 
Either  to  grant  tliem,  or  refuse. 

Much  thou  hast  said,  which  I  know  when,  1325 

And  where  thou  stol'st  from  other  men  ; 
Whereby  'tis  plain  thy  light  and  gifts 
Are  all  but  plagiary  shifts  ; 
And  is  the  same  that  Ranter  said, 
Who,  arguing  with  me,  broke  my  head,t  1330 

And  tore  a  handful  of  my  beard  ; 
The  self-samo  cavils  then  I  iieard, 
When  b'ing  in  hot  dispute  about 
This  controversy,  we  fell  out ; 

And  W'hat  thou  know'st  I  answer'd  then  1335 

Will  serve  to  answer  thee  agen. 

Quoth  Ralpho,  Nothing  but  th'  abuse 
Of  human  learning  you  produce  ; 
Learning,  that  cobweb  of  the  brain. 
Profane,  erroneous,  and  vain  ;t  1340 

'  iim  figurant."  But  this  silly  opinion  is  refuted  by  Brown  in  hia 
Viil<;ar  Errors,  book  iii.  ch.  G. 
*  Chiniaera  was  a  fabulous  monster,  thus  described  by  Homer : 

4  i'  ap   cr/v  dtiov  yf^of,  o!)6'  avQpiiiTGiv 

Hpiads  XfuiVj  SiriQtv  6i  cpiiKiiiVj  fiiaari  ii  ■x^tfiaioa. 

Iliad,  vi.  180. 

Enstalhius,  on  the  passajre,  has  abundance  of  Greek  learning 
Hesiod  lias  given  the  chinutra  three  heads.     Theo'.'.  31'.). 

t  The  ranters  were  a  wild  sect,  that  denied  all  doctrines  of  re- 
ligion, natural  and  revealed.  With  one  of  these  the  knight  had 
entered  into  a  dispute,  and  at  last  came  to  blows.  See  a  ranter's 
character  in  Butler's  Posthumous  Works.  Whitelocke  says, 
the  soldiers  in  the  parliament  army  were  frequently  punished 
for  being  ranters.  Nero  clothed  Ciiristians  in  the  skins  of  wild 
beasts  ;  but  these  wrapped  wild  beasts  in  the  skins  of  Christians. 

t  Ur.  South,  in  liis  sermon  preached  in  Westminster  Abbey, 
1692,  says,  speaking  of  the  times  about  .W  years  before,  Latin 
unto  them  was  a  mortal  crime,  and  (ireek  looked  upon  as  a  sin 
15 


172  HLUlBIiA8.  IParti 

A  trade  of  knowledge  as  replete, 
As  otliers  are  with  fraud  and  cheat ; 


ngainst  the  Holy  Ghost ;  that  all  learnin";  was  then  cried  liown, 
so  that  with  them  the  best  j)reachers  were  s;:ch  as  could  not 
read, and  the  ablest  divines  such  as  could  not  write  :  in  all  their 
preachnients  they  so  lii^hly  pretended  to  the  spirit,  that  they 
hardly  could  spell  the  letter.  To  he  blind,  was  with  them  the 
proper  qualification  of  a  spiritual  (ruide,  mid  to  be  book-learned, 
(as  they  called  it,)  and  to  be  irreligious,  were  almost  terms  con- 
vertible. None  were  thought  fit  for  the  ministry  but  tradesmen 
xnd  mechanics,  because  none  else  were  allowed  to  have  the 
spirit.  Those  only  were  accounted  like  St.  I'aul  who  could  work 
with  their  hands,  and.  in  a  literal  sense,  drive  the  nail  home, and 
he  able  to  make  a  pulpit  before  they  preached  in  it. 

The  Independents  and  Anabaptists  were  jireat  enemies  to  all 
human  learninc;:  they  thought  that  preaching,  and  every  thing 
else,  was  to  come  by  inspiration. 

When  Jack  Cade  ordered  lord  Say's  head  to  be  struck  off,  ho 
s-iid  to  him  :  "I  am  the  besom  that  must  sweep  the  court  clean 
"of  such  filth  as  thou  art.  Thou  hast  most  traileronsly corrupt- 
"  ed  the  youth  of  the  realm,  in  erecting  a  grammar-school ;  and 
"  whereas,  before,  our  fijrefathers  had  no  other  books,  but  the 
"score  and  the  tally,  thou  hast  caused  printing  to  be  used  ;  and, 
"contrary  to  the  king,  his  crown  and  dignity,  thou  hast  built  a 
"  paper-mill.  It  will  be  proved  to  thy  face,  that  thou  hast  men 
"about  thee,  that  usually  talk  of  a  noun  and  a  verb;  and  such 
"abominable  words  as  no  Christian  ear  can  endure  to  hear." 
:'enry  VI.  Part  II.  .Act  iv.  sc.  7.  In  Mr.  Butler's  MS.  1  find  the 
following  reflections  on  this  subject : 

"The  modern  dcjctrine  of  the  court,  that  men's  natural  parts 
arc  rather  impiired  than  improved  by  study  and  learning,  is  ri 
diculously  false ;  and  the  design  of  it  as  plain  as  its  ignorant 
nonsense — no  more  than  what  the  levellers  and  Uuakers  found 
out  before  them  :  that  is,  to  bring  down  all  other  men,  whom 
they  have  no  possibility  of  coming  near  any  other  way,  to  an 
equality  with  themselves ;  that  no  man  may  be  thought  to  re- 
ceive any  advantage  by  that  which  they,  with  all  their  confi- 
dence, dare  not  pretend  to. 

"It  is  true  that  some  learned  men,  by  their  want  of  judgment 
and  discretion,  will  sometimes  do  and  say  things  that  appear  ri- 
diculous to  those  who  are  entirely  ignorant:  but  he,  who  from 
hence  takes  measure  of  all  others,  is  most  indiscreet.  For  no 
one  can  make  another  man's  want  of  reason  a  just  cause  for  not 
improving  his  own.  but  he  who  would  have  been  as  little  the 
letter  for  it,  if  he  had  taken  the  same  pains. 

"He  is  a  fool  that  has  nothing  of  philosophy  in  him  ;  but  not 
so  much  so  as  he  who  has  nothing  else  but  philosophy. 

"He  that  has  less  learning  than  his  capacity  is  able  to  manage, 
shall  have  more  use  of  it  than  he  that  has  more  than  he  can 
master;  for  no  man  can  possibly  have  a  ready  and  active  com- 
mand of  that  which  is  too  heavy  for  him.  Qui  Jiltra  facullates 
sapit,  desipit.  Sense  and  reason  are  too  chargeable  for  the  ordi- 
nary occasions  of  scholars,  and  what  tht-y  are  not  able  to  go  to 
the  e.vpense  of:  therefore  metaphysics  are  better  for  their  pur- 
p<)ses,  as  being  cheap,  which  any  dunce  may  bear  the  expense  of, 
lind  which  m.ike  a  better  noise  in  the  ears  of  the  ignorant  than 
that  which  is  true  and  right.  Jv'on  qui  plurima,  sed  qui  utiiia 
legerunt,  eruditi  habendi. 

"  A  blind  man  knows  he  cannot  see,  and  is  glad  to  be  led 


Canto  hi.]  IIUDIBRAS.  173 

An  art  t'  iiiciiniber  gifts  and  wit, 
And  render  botli  for  iiotiiiiig  fit ; 


thoiiiili  it  1)0  liiit  by  n  do?  ;  but  he  that  is  blind  in  his  understanil- 
ins,  «  liicti  is  tlie  worst  tilinihiess  of  all,  believes  he  sees  as  well 
us  till,'  best ;  anil  scorns  t\  j:iii(le. 

"  Men  cl'iiy  in  th:a  which  is  their  infelicity. — Learning  Oreek 
and  Ijtitin,  to  understand  llie  sciences  contained  in  them,  which 
coiiiMionly  proves  no  belter  bargain  than  he  makes,  who  breaks 
his  teeth  to  crack  a  nut,  which  has  nothing  but  a  maggot  in  it. 
He  that  halli  many  languages  to  express  his  thouglits^  but  no 
ihouglils  worth  expressing,  is  like  one  who  can  write  a  good 
hand,  but  never  the  belter  sense ;  or  one  who  can  cast  up  any 
sums  of  money,  but  has  none  to  reckon. 

"They  who  sindy  nialheinatics  only  to  fix  their  minds,  and 
render  them  steadier  to  apply  to  other  things,  as  there  are  many 
who  profess  to  do,  are  as  wi.se  as  those  who  think,  by  rowing  in 
boats,  to  learn  to  swim. 

•'  He  that  has  mnde  an  hasty  inarch  through  most  arts  and 
scienci's,  is  like  an  ill  captain,  who  leaves  garrisons  and  strong- 
holds behind  him." 

"  The  arts  and  sciences  are  only  tools, 
Wluch  students  do  their  business  with  in  schools : 
Allhough  great  men  have  said,  'tis  more  al)Struse 
And  hard  to  understand  them,  than  their  use. 
And  though  they  were  intended  but  in  order 
To  better  things,  few  ever  venture  further. 
But  as  all  good  designs  are  so  accurst, 
The  licst  intended  often  prove  the  worst; 
Po  what  was  meant  t'  improve  the  world,  quite  cross, 
Has  turn'd  to  ils  calamity  and  loss. 

"The  greatest  part  of  learning's  only  meant 
For  curiosity  and  ornament. 
And  therefore  iriost  pretending  virtuosos, 
Like  Indians,  bore  their  lips  and  flat  their  noses. 
When  'tis  their  artificial  want  of  wit, 
That  spoils  their  work,  instead  of  mending  it- 
To  prove  l)y  syllogism  is  but  to  spell, 
A  proposition  like  a  syllable. 

"Critics  esteem  no  sciences  so  noble. 
As  w-orn-oul  languages,  to  vamp  and  cobble 
And  when  they  had  corrected  all  old  copies, 
'J'o  cut  themselves  out  work,  made  new  and  foppish, 
Assum'd  an  arbitrary  power  t'  invent 
An<l  overdo  what  th'  author  never  meant. 
Could  find  a  deeper,  subtler  meaning  out. 
Than  th'  innocentest  writer  ever  thought. 

"Good  scholars  are  but  journeynien  to  nattire, 
That  shows  tliem  all  tlicir  tricks' to  imitate  her- 
Though  some  mistake  the  reason  she  proposes, 
And  make  them  imitate  their  virtuosos. 
And  arts  and  sciences  are  but  a  kind 
Of  trade  and  occupation  of  the  mind : 
An  exercise  by  which  mankind  is  taught 
The  discipline  and  management  of  thought 
To  best  advantages;  and  takes  its  lesson 
From  nature,  or  her  secretary  reason, — 
Is  both  the  best,  or  worst  way  of  instructing;. 


174  IIUDIBllAS.  [Part  v 

Makes  light  unactive,  dull  and  troubled,  1315 

Like  little  David  in  Saul's  doublet  ;* 

A  cheat  that  scholai's  put  upon 

Other  men's  reason  and  their  own  ; 

A  sort  of  error  to  ensconce 

Absurdity  and  ignorance,  1350 

That  renders  all  the  avenues 

To  truth  impervious,  and  abstrus-*, 

By  making  plain  things,  in  debate, 

By  art  perplex'd  and  intricate  : 

l''or  nothing  goes  for  sense  or  light  1355 

That  will  not  with  old  rules  jump  righ  , 

As  if  rules  were  not  in  the  schools 

Deriv'd  from  truth  but  truth  from  rules.i 

This  pagan,  heathenish  invention 
Is  good  for  nothing  but  contention.  13G0 

For  as  in  sword-and-buckler  fight, 
All  blows  do  on  the  target  light ; 
So  when  men  argue,  the  greal'st  part 
O'  th'  contest  falls  on  terms  of  art. 
Until  the  fustian  stuff  be  spent,  13G5 

And  then  they  fall  to  th'  argument. 

Quoth  Hudibras,  Friend  Ralph,  thou  hast 
Out-run  the  constable  at  last  ; 
For  thou  art  fallen  on  a  new 

Dispute,  as  senseless  as  untrue,  137C 

But  to  the  former  opposite. 
And  contrary  as  black  to  white  ; 
Mere  disparata,t  that  concerning 
Presbytery,  this  human  learning  ; 

As  men  mistake  or  understand  lior  doctrine : 
That  as  it  happens  proves  the  lejicrdemain, 
Or  practical  dexterity  of  the  brain  : 
And  renders  all  that  have  to  do  with  books, 
The  fairest  gamesters,  or  the  f:ilse«t  rooks. 
For  there's  a  wide  and  a  vast  difference, 
Between  a  man's  own,  and  another's  sense  ; 
As  is  of  those  that  drive  a  trade  iipim 
Other  men's  reputation  and  their  own. 
And  as  more  cheats  are  used  in  pul.lic  slocks, 
So  those  that  trade  upon  account  of  books, 
Are  greater  rooks  than  he  who  singly  deals 
Upon  his  own  account  and  nothing  steals." 

•  See  1  Siimuel  xvii.  38. 

t  Bishop  Warhurton  in  a  note  on  these  lines,  says  :  "This  o(. 

servation  is  just,  the  logicians  have  run  into  strange  absurdi- 
"ties  of  this  kind:  I'eter  Ramus,  the  best  of  them.  In  his  Logic 
''  rejects  a  very  just  arizunient  of  Cicero's  as  sophistical,  because 
"  it  did  not  jump  right  with  liis  rules." 

X  Things  totally  diirticnt  from  each  other. 


(;anto  iii.l  IIL'DIHRAS.  I75 

Two  things  s'  averse,  they  never  yet,  137j 

But  ill  thy  ranibliiifj  fancy,  met. 

But  I  shall  take  a  tit  occasion 

T'  evince  theo  by  ratiocination, 

Some  otiicr  time,  in  place  more  proper 

Tlian  this  w'  are  in  :  therefore  let's  stop  hero.       1380 

And  rest  our  weary'd  bones  awiiilc. 

Already  tir'd  with  other  toil. 


PART  II.    CANTO  I. 

THE  ARGUMENT. 

The  Knight  clapp'd  by  th'  heels  in  prison, 
The  last  unhappy  expedition,* 
Love  bring-s  his  action  on  tlie  case,t 
And  lays  it  upon  iludibras. 
How  ho  receives  the  lady's  visit, 
And  cunningly  solicits  his  suit. 
Which  she  defers  ;  yet,  on  parole, 
Redeems  him  from  th'  enchanted  hole. 


*  In  the  author's  cnrrecttd  copy,  printed  1G74,  the  lines  sland 
:liiis;  but  in  the  edition  primed  ten  years  before,  we  read: 
The  hnighl,  by  damnable  mnirician, 
Being  cast  illegally  in  prison. 

In  the  edition  of  1704  the  old  readinfi  was  restored,  but  we 
have  in  peneral  used  the  author's  corrected  copy. 

t  We  may  observe  how  justly  Mr.  Cutler,  wl}o  was  an  able 
lawyer,  applies  all  law  terms. — ,\n  action  on  the  case,  is  a  pen- 
eral  action  yiven  for  redress  of  wron>.'s  and  injuries,  done  with 
nut  force,  and  by  lav/  not  provided  aiiainst,  in  order  to  have  sat- 
isfaction lor  dania<!es.  The  author  informs  us,  in  liis  own  note, 
at  the  beginning  ol"  this  canto,  that  he  had  the  fourth  .-Eneis  of 
Virgil  in  view,  which  passes  from  the  tuiriults  of  war  and  the 
fatigues  of  a  dangerous  voyage,  to  the  tender  subject  of  love. 
The  t'rench  translator  has  divided  the  poem  into  nine  cantos, 
and  not  into  parts:  but,  as  llie  poet  published  his  work  at  three 
(iiflerent  times,  and  in  his  corrected  copy  continued  the  division 
into  jiarts,  it  is  taking  loo  great  a  liberty  for  any  connuentator  to 
alter  tliTiI  arrangement :  especially  as  he  might  do  it,  as  before 
observed,  in  imitation  of  Spenser.  ;uui  ihc  Italian  and  e-uaniah 
poets,  Tasso,  Ariosto,  Aluaso  dc  li^cillu,  dec.  etc 


HUDIBRAS. 


CANTO  I. 

B;;r  now,  t'  observe  romantiqiic  method, 
Let  rusty  steel  awhile  be  slieathcd  ; 
And  all  those  harsh  and  ruirircd  sounds* 
Of  bastinadoes,  cuts,  and  wounds, 
Exchang'd  to  love's  more  gentle  style, 
To  let  our  reader  breathe  awhile  : 
In  which,  that  we  may  be  as  brief  as 
Is  possible,  by  way  of  preface. 

Is't  not  enough  to  make  one  strange, t 
That  some  men's  fancies  should  ne'er  change, 
But  make  all  people  do  and  say 
The  same  things  still  the  self-same  way  ?t 
Some  writers  make  all  ladies  purloin'd. 
And  knights  pursuing  like  a  whirlwind  : 
Others  make  all  their  knights,  in  fits 
Of  jealousy,  to  lose  their  wits  ; 
Till  drawing  blood  o'  th'  dames,  like  witches. 
They're  forthwith  cur'd  of  their  capriches.§ 
Some  always  thrive  in  their  amours. 
By  pulling  plasters  off"  their  sores  ;|| 


*  Shakspeare  says, 

"  Our  stern  alarums  thang'd  lo  inrrry  iiieelinc?!. 
"Our  dreadful  marches  lo  deliylitfnl  iiie.isnrcs." 

Uicliard  III.  Act  i.  sc.  1. 
t  That  is,  to  make  one  wonder  :  strange,  here,  is  an  adjective; 
wlien  a  man  sees  a  new  or  uiiexjiectcd  (iliject,  he  is  said  lo  bo 
stranse  lo  il. 

X  Few  men  have  genius  enouch  to  vary  Iheir  style  ;  both  poets 
and  painters  are  very  apt  lo  be  mannerists. 

^  Il  was  a  vulvar  notion  thai,  it'  you  drew  Ijlood  from  a  witch, 
Bhe  could  not  hurl  ynu.    Thus  (Cleveland,  in  his  Kebel  Scot: 
Scots  are  like  witches;  do  but  whet  your  pen, 
Scratcli  till  the  blood  comes,  they'll  not  hurl  you  then. 
II  By  shewing  their  wounds  to  the  ladies — [who,  it  must  be 
remembered,  in  the  timesof  chivalry,  were  instructed  in  sur(;ery 
and  the  liealing  art.    In  the  romance  of  Percclorest  a  young  lady 
puts  in  the  dislocated  arm  of  a  kniglit.] 


[78  HUDIBUAS.  [Part  u 

As  cripples  do  to  get  an  alms, 

Just  so  do  tliey,  and  win  tiieir  dames. 

Some  force  whole  regions,  in  despite 

O'  geography,  to  cliunge  their  site  ; 

Make  former  times  shake  hands  with  latter,  23 

And  that  wiiicii  was  before  come  after  ;* 

But  those  that  write  in  rhyme  still  make 

The  one  verse  for  the  other's  sake  ; 

For  one  for  sense,  and  one  for  rhyme, 

I  think's  sufficient  at  one  time.  30 

But  we  forget  in  what  sad  plight 
We  whilom  left  the  captiv'd  Knight 
And  pensive  Squire,  both  bruis'd  in  body, 
And  conjur'd  into  safe  custody. 

Tir'd  with  dispute,  and  speaking  Latin,  35 

As  well  as  basting  and  bear-baiting, 
And  desperate  of  any  course, 
To  free  himself  by  wit  or  force. 
His  only  solace  was,  that  now 

His  dog-bolt  fortune  was  so  low,  40 

That  either  it  must  quickly  end. 
Or  turn  about  again,  and  mend  :t 
In  which  he  found  th'  event,  no  less 
Than  other  times,  beside  his  guess. 


*  These  were  coininnn  f.iulls  with  romnnce  writers  :  even 
Shakspeare  and  Virgil  have  not  wholly  avoitleil  llieni.  Tlie  for 
nier  transports  his  characters,  in  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  frooi 
France  to  llngland  :  the  latter  has  fornieil  an  intrigue  between 
Dido  and  vEneas,  who  probal)ly  lived  in  very  distant  periods. 
The  Spanish  writers  are  complained  of  for  these  errors.  Don 
Quixote,  vol.  ii.  ch.  21. 

t  It  was  a  nm.xiiii  among  the  Ptoic  philosophers,  many  of 
whose  tenets  seem  to  he  adopted  by  our  kniu'lit,  tliat  things 
which  were  violent  could  not  be  lasting.  Si  longaest,  levisest; 
Bi  gravis  est,  brevis  c-;t.  Tlie  term  dog-bolt,  may  be  taken  from 
the  situation  of  a  rabbit,  or  other  animal,  that  is  forced  from  its 
hole  by  a  dog,  and  then  said  to  bolt.  Unless  it  ought  to  have 
been  written  dolg-botc,  wliich  in  the  Saxon  law  signifies  a  rec- 
ompense for  a  hurt  or  injury. — Cyclopa'dia.  In  English,  dog,  in 
composition,  like  ^ts  in  Greek,  implies  that  the  thing  denoted  by 
the  noun  annexed  to  ii,  is  vile,  bad,  savage,  or  unfortunate  in  its 
kind:  thus  dog-rose,  do:;-latin,  doj;-trick,  dog-cheap,  and  many 
otliers.  [Archdeacon  Nares  considers  dntr-boU  evidently  as  a 
term  of  reproach,  and  gives  quotations  from  Johnson  to  that  ef- 
fect, and  adds,  that  no  compound  of  rfo^r  and  bull,  in  any  sense, 
appears  to  afford  an  interpretation  of  it.  The  happiest  illustra- 
tion of  the  text  is  alfordtil  by  Archdeacon  Todd  from  Beaumont 
tnd  Kletcher's  Spanish  Curite  : 

"For  to  say  truth,  the  lawyer  is  a  dogboU, 
"  An  arrant  worm.") 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  l"!* 

Tliere  is  a  ti..I  long-sided  daino,*  ii 

But  wond'rous  light — ycleped  Fame, 
riiut  like  a  thin  cunielion  boards 
Herself  on  uir,t  and  eats  her  words  -.t 
Upon  lior  shoulders  wings  she  wears 
Like  hanging  sleeves,  lin'd  thro'  with  ears,  M 

And  eyes,  and  tongues,  as  poets  list, 
iviade  good  by  deep  inythologist : 
With  tiiese  she  (iirough  the  welkin  flies, § 
And  sometimes  carries  truth,  oft'  lies  ; 
With  letters  hung,  like  eastern  pigeons, ||  55 

And  Mercuries  of  furthest  regions  ; 


*  Our  author  has  evidently  followed  Virgil  (^neid.  i^.)  in 
»iiine  parts  of  tlli^5  (lescription  of  fame.    Thus  : 

Ingrc<lilur(|ue  solo,  et  caput  inter  nubila  condit. 

Mialuni  qua  non  aliud  velocius  ulluni : 

Mobilitate  viget,  viresque  acquiril  eundo. 

pedibus  celereiii  et  pernicilius  alls. 

cui,  quot  sunt  corpore  pluma-, 

Tot  vigiles  oculi  subter,  luirabilc  dictu, 

'I'ol  lingua;,  totideni  ora  sonant,  tot  subrigct  aurcs. 

Tain  ficli  pravique  tenax  quain  nuntia  veri. 

t  The  vulgar  notion  is,  that  camclions  live  on  air;  hut  they 
are  known  to  feed  on  flics,  caterpillars,  and  other  insects. 

I  Mr.  VVarburton  has  an  ingenious  note  on  tliis  passage.  "The 
"  l>eauty  of  it,"  he  says,  "consists  in  the  double  meaning;  the 
"  first  alluding  to  Fame's  living  on  report ;  the  second,  an  insin- 
"  uation  that,  if  a  report  is  narrowly  inquired  into,  atid  traced  up 
"  to  the  original  author,  it  is  made  to  contradict  itself." 

§  Welkin  is  derived  from  the  .\nglo-Sa.\on  wolc,  vvulcn,  clouds. 
[Lye  gives  as  one  meaning  of  wolc,  aiir.  lether,  firmamentum. 
The  welkin.]  It  is  used,  in  general,  by  the  tinglish  poets,  for  we 
Eeldoin  meet  with  it  in  prose,  to  denote  the  sky  or  visible  region 
of  the  air.  But  Chaucer  seeuis  to  dislinguisli  between  sky  and 
welkin  ; 

Fte  let  a  certaine  winde  ygo. 

That  blew  so  hideously  and  hie, 

That  it  ne  Icfie  not  a  skie,  (cloiul,) 

In  all  the  welkin  long  and  brode. 

II  Every  one  has  heard  of  the  piueons  of  Aleppo,  wliich  served 
as  couriers.  The  birds  were  taken  from  their  yourg  ones,  and 
conveyed  to  any  distant  place  in  open  cages.  If  it  was  necessary 
to  send  home  any  intelligence,  a  pigeon  was  let  loose,  with  a. 
billet  tied  to  her  foot,  and  she  flew  back  with  ll  e  utmost  e.tpe- 
dit-on.  They  would  return  in  ten  hours  from  Ale,\andretto  to 
Aleppo,  and  in  two  days  from  Bagdad.  Havary  says  they  liave 
traversed  the  former  in  the  space  of  five  or  si.\  hours.  Thij 
method  was  pr.icli^cd  at  Mutina,  when  besieged  by  Antony 
3ee  Pliny's  Natural  History,  lib.  x.  '.i'.     Anacreon's  IJovo  says 

he  was  eir.ployed  to  carry  love-letters  for  her  master. 

Kni  vuv  olai  iKiiva 
Eirt^oAaf  KOfii^u). 

Brunei.  Analect.  tou.  L 


180  IICDIBRAS.  [Paet  n 

Diunials  writ  for  regulation 

Of  lying,  to  inform  the  nation,* 

And  by  their  public  use  to  bring  down 

Tlie  rate  of  whetstones  in  tlie  kingdom  :t  Sb 

About  lier  neck  a  pacquet-niale,t 

Frauglit  with  advice,  some  fresh,  some  stale, 

Of  men  tliat  walk'd  when  they  were  dead, 

And  cows  of  monsters  brouglit  to  bed : 

Of  hail-stones  big  as  pullets'  eggs,  65 

And  puppies  wiielj'd  with  twice  two  legs:§ 

A  blazing  star  seen  in  the  west, 

By  six  or  seven  men  at  least. 

Two  trumpets  she  does  sound  at  once,|| 


*  The  newspapers  of  those  times,  called  Mercuries  anil  Diur 
nals,  were  not  more  aiuhentic  than  similar  pulilications  are  at 
present.  Eiich  party  had  its  Mercuries  :  there  was  Mercurius 
Uusticus,  and  Mercurius  Aulicus. 

t  The  ol)servations  on  the  learnin?  of  Shakspoare  will  explain 
this  passage.  VVc  there  read  :  "  A  happy  talent  tor  lying,  familiar 
"  enough  to  those  men  of  lire,  who  looked  on  every  one  graver 
"  than  tliemselves  as  their  whetstone."  This,  you  may  remem 
ber,  is  a  proverbial  term,  denoting  an  excitement  to  lying,  rir  a 
subject  that  gave  a  man  an  opportunity  of  breaking  a  jest  upon 
another. 

fungar  vice  cotis.  Hor.  Ars  Poet.  1.  304. 

Thus  Siinkspeare  makes  Celia  reply  to  Rosalind  upon  the 
entry  of  the  Clown:  "Fortune  hath  sent  this  natural  for  our 
"  whetstone ;  for  always  the  dulness  of  the  fool  is  the  whetstone 
"  of  the  wits."  And  Jonson,  alluding  to  the  same,  in  the  char- 
acter of  Amorphus,  says :  "  He  will  lye  cheaper  than  any  beggar, 
"iind  louder  than  any  clock;  for  which  he  is  right  properly  ac- 
"connnodated  to  the  whetstone,  his  page." — "  This,"  says  Mr. 
Warburlon,  "  will  explain  a  smart  repartee  of  Sir  Francis  Bacon 
'  before  king  James,  to  whom  Sir  Kenelm  Digby  was  relating, 

that  he  had  seen  the  true  philosopher's  stone  in  the  ))ossession 
''of  a  hermit  in  Italy:  when  the  king  was  very  curious  to  know 

what  sort  of  a  stone  it  was,  and  Sir  Kenelm  much  puzzled  in 
describing  it,  Sir  Francis  liacon  said :  '  Perhaps  it  was  a  whet 
"  '  stone.' " 

"To  lie,  for  a  whct<tone,  at  Temple  Sowerby,  in  Westmore- 
"land."  See  Sir  J.  Ilarington's  Brief  View,  p.  179.  Exmoul 
Courtship,  p.  'JG,  n. 

[It  is  a  custom  in  the  north,  when  a  man  tells  the  greatest  lie 
In  the  company,  to  reward  him  with  a  whetstone;  which  '.s 
called  lying  for  the  whetstone-  Budworth's  Fortnight's  Ramble 
to  the  Lakes,  chap.  6,  17'Jii.J 

X  This  is  a  good  trait  in  the  character  of  Fame  :  laden  with 
reports,  as  a  postboy  with  letters  in  his  male.  The  word  male 
is  derived  from  the  Greek  iitjXov,  ovis;  fiijX'iir^,  pcllis  ovina: 
because  made  of  leather,  Irequenlly  sheepskin:  hence  the 
French  word  maille,  now  written  in  English,  mail 

*$  To  make  this  story  wonderful  as  the  rest,  ought  we  not  to 
read — thrice  two,  or  twice  four  legs  ? 

II  In  Pope's  Tiniple  of  Fame,  she  has  the  trumpet  of  eternal 
piuise,  and  the  trumpet  of  slander.    Chaucer  makes  iKolus  an 


Cawto  I.]  IIUDJBUAS.  181 

But  both  of  clean  contrary  tones  ;  70 

But  whether  both  with  tlie  same  wind, 

Or  one  before,  and  one  beliind,* 

We  know  not,  only  this  can  tell, 

Tlie  one  sounds  vilely,  th'  otiier  well, 

And  therefore  vulgar  authors  name  75 

The  one  Good,  th'  other  Evil  Fame. 

This  tattling  gossipt  knew  too  well, 
What  mischief  Hudibras  bcfel ; 
And  straight  the  spightful  tidings  bears, 
Of  all,  to  th'  unkind  widow's  ears.t  80 

Democritus  ne'er  laugh'd  so  loud,§ 
To  see  bawds  carted  through  the  crowd, 
Or  funerals  with  stately  pomp, 
]\Iarch  slowly  on  in  solemn  dump. 
As  she  laugh'd  out,  until  her  back,  85 

As  well  as  sides,  was  like  to  crack. 
She  vow'd  she  would  go  see  the  sight. 
And  visit  the  distressed  Knight, 
To  do  the  office  of  a  neighbour, 

And  be  a  gossip  at  his  labour ;  90 

And  from  his  wooden  jail,  the  stocks, 
To  set  at  large  his  fetter-locks. 
And  by  exchange,  parole,  or  ransom. 
To  free  him  from  th'  enchanted  mansion. 
This  b'ing  resolv'd,  she  call'd  for  hood  95 

And  usher,  implements  abroad || 
Which  ladies  wear,  beside  a  slender 
Younsr  waitinsr  damsel  to  attend  her. 


attendant  on  Fame,  and  blow  tlie  clarion  of  land  and  the  clarion 
of  slander,  alternately,  according  to  her  directions  :  the  latter  is 
descrilied  as  black  and  stinkinfr. 

*  This  Iludibrastick  description  is  imitated,  bnt  very  un- 
equally, by  Cott<in,  in  his  Travesty  of  the  fourth  book  of  Virgil. 

t  Gossip  or  god-sib  is  a  Sa.xon  word,  signifying  cognata  ex 
parte  del,  or  iiodniother.  It  is  now  likewise  become  an  apnella 
tion  for  any  idle  woman.    Tattle,  i  e.  sine  modo  garrire. 

I  Protinus  ad  regem  cursus  detorquet  Farban, 
Incendiique  animuni  diclis.  Virg.  jEn.  iv.  196. 

$  Perpelno  risu  pulmoncm  £.gitarc  solebat 

Democritus 

Ridebat  curas,  ncc  non  et  gaudia  vulgl, 

Interduni  et  lacrymas.  Juv.  Sat.  x.  34-51. 

II  Some  have  doubted  whether  the  word  usher  denotes  n4 
nttendant,  or  part  of  her  dress,  but  ili'om  P.  iii.  c.  iii  1.  31)9,  it  ^i 
9laia  that  it  signitics  the  former. 

Beside  two  more  of  her  retinue, 
To  testily  what  pass'd  I  liween  yrn. 


189  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  u 

All  wliicli  appearing,  on  slie  weni 

To  find  the  Knight  in  limbo  pent.  lOf. 

And  'twas  not  long  before  she  found 

Ilim,  and  his  stout  Squire,  in  the  pound ; 

Both  cou])!ed  in  eneliantcd  tether, 

By  furtiier  leg  behind  togetiier: 

For  as  he  set  upon  his  rump,  103 

His  head,  like  one  in  doleful  dump, 

Between  his  knees,  his  hands  apply'd 

Unto  his  ears  on  eiliier  side. 

And  by  him,  in  another  hole. 

Afflicted  Ralpho,  cheek  by  joul,*  110 

She  came  upon  him  in  his  wooden 

Magician's  circle,  on  the  suddeu, 

As  spirits  do  t'  a  conjurer,  • 

When  in  their  dreadful  shapes  th'  appear. 

f   No  sooner  did  the  Knight  perceive  her,  115 

But  straight  he  fell  into  a  fever, 

Inflam'd  ail  over  with  disgrace, 

To  be  seen  by  her  in  such  a  place ; 

Which  made  him  hang  his  head,  and  scowl. 

And  wink  and  goggle  like  an  owl ;  130 

He  felt  his  brains  begin  to  swim, 

Wiien  thus  the  Dame  accosted  him  : 

'  This  place,  quoth  she,  they  say's  enchanted, 

And  witii  deiinijuent  spirits  haunted  ; 

That  here  are  ty'd  in  chains,  and  scourg'd,  123 

Until  their  guilty  crimes  be  purg'd : 

Look,  there  are  two  of  them  appear 

Like  persons  I  have  seen  somewhere : 

Some  have  mistaken  blocks  and  posts 

For  spectres,  apparitions,  ghosts,  130 

With  saucer-eyes  and  horns  ;  and  some 

Have  heard  the  devil  beat  a  drum  :t 

But  if  our  eyes  are  not  false  glasses. 

That  give  a  wrong  account  of  faces, 

That  beard  and  I  should  be  acquainted,  135 

Before  'twas  conjur'd  and  enchanted. 

For  though  it  be  disfigur'd  somewhat, 

As  if  't  had  lately  been  in  combat. 


*  That  is,  cheek  to  cheek  ;  sometimes  pronounced  jig  byjole; 
but  here  properly  written,  .Tnd  derived,  from  two  Anglo-Saxon 
words,  ceac,  maxilla,  and  ciol,  or  ciole,  gutlur. 

t  The  story  of  Mr.  Moniptsson's  house  being  hanntefl  by  a 
drummer,  made  a  great  noise  nhout  the  time  our  author  wrote 
The  narrative  is  in  Mr.  Glanvil's  boolt  of  Witchcraft. 


Canto  i.]  lIUDIIiRA«.  183 

It  did  licloiig  t'  a  worthy  Knight, 

Ilowc'er  this  jroblin  is  coiiio  by't.  14U 

When  Iliuiibras  llio  Lady  heard 
To  take  kind  notice  of  iiis  beard, 
And  speak  with  sucli  respect  and  honour, 
Botii  of  the  beard  and  tiie  beard's  owner,* 
Ho  thought  it  best  to  set  as  good  1  m 

A  face  upon  it  as  ho  cou'd, 
And  thus  he  spoke :  Lady,  j'our  bright 
And  radiant  eyes  are  in  tiio  right ; 
The  beard's  tii'  identiiiuc  beard  you  knew, 
The  same  numerically  true  :  150 

Nor  is  it  worn  by  fiend  or  elf. 
But  its  proprietor  himself. 

O  heavens  !  quoth  she,  can  that  bo  true  ? 
1  do  begin  to  fear  'tis  you  ; 

Not  by  your  individual  whiskers,  155 

But  by  your  dialect  and  discourse. 
That  never  spoke  to  man  or  beast, 
In  notions  vulgarly  exprest : 

*  See  the  dignity  nf  the  bcartl  maintained  by  Dr.  Bulvver  in 
iKs  Arlificial  Changeling,  p.  )!)0.  He  snys,  shaving  the  chin  is 
lastly  to  be  accoiinled  a  ni)te  of  etibniinacy,  as  appears  by  eu- 
nuchs, who  produce  not  a  lieard,  the  sign  of  virility.  Alexander 
and  his  officers  did  nut  shave  their  beards  till  they  were  effemi- 
nated by  I'crsian  luxury.  It  was  late  before  barbers  were  in 
request  at  Konio  :  they  first  came  from  Sicily  454  years  after  the 
foundation  of  Rome.  Varro  tells  us  they  were  introduced  by 
Ticinius  Mena.  Scipin  Africanus  was  the  first  who  shaved  liis 
face  every  day:  the  emperor  Augustus  used  this  practice.  See 
Pliny's  Nat.  Hist.  b.  vii.  c.  59.  Diogenes  seeing  one  with  a 
snmoth  shaved  chin,  said  to  him,  "  Hast  thou  whereof  to  accuse 
"  nature  for  making  thee  a  man  and  not  a  woman  V — The  Rho- 
dians  and  Byzantines,  contrary  to  the  practice  of  modern  Rus- 
sians, persisted  against  their  laws  and  edicts  in  shaving,  and  the 
use  of  tlie  razor. — Ultnus  de  fine  barba;  humanae,  is  of  opinion, 
that  the  beard  seems  not  merely  for  ornament,  or  age,  or  se.x,  not 
for  covering  nor  cleanliness,  Init  to  serve  the  office  of  the  human 
soul.  And  that  nature  gave  to  uiankind  a  beard,  that  it  might 
Temain  as  an  index  in  the  face  of  the  masculine  generative  fas- 
rilty. — Beard-haters  are  by  Barclay  clapped  on  board  the  ship  of 
fools : 

Laudis  erat  quandam  barbatos  esse  parentcs 

At<iue  supercilium  mento  gestare  pudico 

Socratis  exemplo,  barbam  nutrire  solebant 

Cultores  sophiffi. 
False  hair  was  worn  by  the  Roman  ladies.    Martial  sayj  ; 

.lurat  capillos  esse,  quos  emit,  suos 

FabuUa  nunquid  ilia,  Paulle,  pejerat. 
And  again:  Ovid,  de  Art.  Amandi,  iii.  105: 

Fremina  procedit  densissima  crinibus  cmptis; 
Proque  suis  alios  efficit  a;re  suos : 

Nee  pudor  est  emisse  palam. ■ 

16 


184  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  n 

But  what  malignant  star,  alas  ! 

Has  brought  you  both  to  (his  sad  pass  •  16» 

Quoth  lie,  The  fortune  of  the  war, 
Which  I  am  less  afflicted  for, 
Than  to  be  seen  with  beard  and  face 
By  you  in  such  a  homely  case. 

Qucth  siie,  Those  need  not  be  asham'd  165 

For  being  honourably  maim'd  ; 
If  he  that  is  in  battle  conquer'd. 
Have  any  title  to  his  own  beard, 
Tho'  yours  be  sorely  lugg'd  and  ton, 
It  does  your  visage  more  adorn  17C 

Than  if  'tvere  prun'd,  and  starch'd  and  lander'd. 
And  cut  sr,uare  by  the  Russian  standard.* 
A  torn  beard's  like  a  tatter'd  ensign, 
That's  bravest  which  there  are  most  rents  in 
That  petticoat,  about  your  shoulders,  175 

Does  not  so  well  become  a  soldier's ; 
And  I'm  afraid  they  are  worse  handled, 
Altho'  i'  til'  rear,  your  beard  the  van  led  ;t 
And  those  uneasy  bruises  make 

My  heart  for  company  to  ake,  180 

To  see  so  worshipful  a  friend 
I'  th'  pillory  set,  at  the  wrong  end. 

Quoth  Hudibras,  This  thing  call'd  pain,t 
Is,  as  the  learned  stoics  maintain. 
Not  bad  simpliciter,  nor  good,  185 

But  merely  as  'lis  understood. 
Sense  is  deceitful,  and  may  feign 
As  well  in  counterfeiting  pain 
As  other  gross  phcenomenas, 

In  which  it  oft'  mistakes  the  case.  190 

But  since  th'  immortal  intellect. 
That's  free  from  error  and  defect. 


*  The  beans  in  the  reign  of  James  I.  and  Charles  I.  spent  as 
much  time  in  dressing  their  lieards,  as  modern  lieaiis  do  in  dress- 
ing their  hair;  and  many  of  ihciii  kept  a  person  lo  read  to  them 
while  the  operation  was  perfurrning.  It  is  well  known  what 
great  difliculiy  the  Czar  Peter  of  Russia  met  with  in  oiiliging  his 
Bubjetts  to  cut  otr  their  bear<ls. 

t  The  van  is  the  fron  or  fore  part  of  an  army,  and  commonly 
the  post  of  danger  and  honor;  the  rear  the  hinder  part.  i?o  that 
Jiaking  a  front  in  the  rear  must  he  retreating  from  the  enemy. 
By  this  comical  expression  the  lady  signifies  that  lie  turned  tail 
to  them,  by  which  means  his  shoulders  sped  worse  than  his 
beard. 

I  Some  tenets  of  the  stoic  philosophers  are  here  burlesqued 
with  great  humor 


l-ANToi.  I  IIUDIUUAS.  IgA 

Wlioso  objects  still  persist  the  same, 

Is  free  from  outward  bruise  or  iiiaiin, 

Which  nought  external  can  exposo  19S 

To  gross  material  bangs  or  blows, 

It  follows  we  can  ne'er  be  sure 

Whether  we  pain  or  not  endure  ; 

And  just  so  far  are  sore  and  griev'd, 

As  by  the  fancy  is  bcliev'd.  S(M 

Some  have  been  wounded  with  conceit, 

And  died  of  mere  o|)inion  straight  ;* 

Others,  tlio'  wounded  sore  in  reason, 

Felt  no  contusion,  nor  discretion. t 

A  fcjaxon  Duke  did  grow  so  fat,  203 

Tiiat  mice,  as  histories  relate, 

Ate  grots  and  labyrinths  to  dwell  in 

His  postique  parts,  without  his  feeling; 

Then  how  is"t  possible  a  kick 

Should  e'er  reach  that  way  to  the  quick  ?t  210 

Quoth  she,  I  grant  it  is  in  vain. 
For  one  that's  busted  to  feel  pain  ; 
Because  tiie  paugs  his  bones  endure, 
Contribute  nothing  to  the  cure  ; 

Yet  honour  hurt  is  wont  to  rage  215 

With  pain  no  nicd'cine  can  assuage. 

Quoth  he,  That  honour's  veiy  squeamidi 
That  takes  a  basting  for  a  blemish: 

*  In  Grey's  note  on  this  passage  there  are  several  stories  of 
this  sort  ;  of  which  the  most  reniarkalile  is  thecase  of  :he  Chev- 
*her  Jarre,  "  who  was  upon  tlie  scaffDld  at  Troyes,  had  liis  hail 
"cut  ort',  the  handkerchief  liefore  his  eyes,  f.nd  the  sword  in  the 
-  executioner's  hand  to  cut  off  his  head  ;  liul  the  l^ing  pardoned 
"  him  :  lieini;  taken  up,  his  fear  had  so  taken  hold  of  him,  thai 
"  he  could  not  stand  nor  speak  :  they  led  him  to  bed,  and  opened 
"  a  vein,  li'it  no  blood  would  come."  Lord  Stafi'oid's  Letters, 
vol.  i.  p.  JWi. 

t  As  it  is  here  stop|)cd,  it  signifies,  others  though  really  and 
sorely  wounded,  (see  the  Lady's  Answer,  line  212)  felt  no  bruise 
or  cut:  but  if  we  put  a  seuiicolon  after  sore,  and  no  slop  after 
reason,  the  meaning  may  be,  others  though  wounded  sore  in  body, 
yet  in  mind  or  imnyinatiin  felt  no  bruise  or  cut.  Discretion, 
here  signifies  a  cut,  or  separation  of  parts. 

i  lie  justly  argues  from  this  story,  that  if  a  man  could  be  so 
gnawed  and  mangled  in  those  parts,  without  liis  feeling  it,  a 
kick  in  the  same  place  would  not  much  hurt  him.  See  Butler's 
Remains,  vol.  i.  p.  ai,  where  it  is  asserted,  that  the  note  in  the 
old  editions  is  by  Butler  himself.  1  cannot  fix  this  story  on  any 
particular  duke  of  Saxony.  It  may  be  paralleled  by  the  case  of 
an  inferior  animal,  as  related  by  a  pretended  eyewitness. — In 
Arcadia  scio  me  esse  spectatuin  sueui,  qua;  pros  pinguedine  car- 
nis,  non  modo  surgere  non  posset  ;  sed  etiam  ut  in  ejus  corpore 
sorex,  cxesd  carne,  nidum  fecissct,  ct  peperissit  mines.  Varm 
1i.  4,  12. 


ISQ  HUDIBRAS  [P^aT  n 

For  what's  more  lionourable  than  scars, 

Or  skin  to  tatters  rent  in  wars?  020 

Some  liave  been  beaten  till  they  know 

What  wood  a  cudgel's  of  by  tlr  dIow  ; 

Some  kick'd,  until  they  can  feel  whether 

A  shoe  be  Spanish  or  neat's  leather : 

And  yet  have  met,  after  long  running,  2"25 

With  some  whom  they  have  taught  tiiat  cunning. 

Tiie  furthest  way  about,  t'  o'ercome, 

I'  th'  end  does  prove  the  nearest  home 

By  laws  of  learned  duellists. 

They  that  are  bruis'd  with  wood,  or  fists,  230 

And  think  one  beating  may  for  once 

SufRce,  are  cowards  and  poltroons  : 

But  if  they  dare  engage  t'  a  second, 

Tliey're  siout  and  gallant  fellows  reckon'd 

Th'  old  Romans  freedom  did  bestow,  233 

Our  princes  worship,  with  a  blow  :* 
King  Pyrrhus  cur'd  his  splenetic 
And  testy  courtiers  with  a  kick.t 


*  One  form  of  declaring  a  slave  free,  at  Rome,  was  for  the 
praetor,  in  tlie  presence  of  certain  persons,  to  <;ive  llie  slave  a  light 
stroke  witli  a  small  stick,  from  its  use  called  viiidicta. 

Tune  mihi  dominiis,  rertini  imperils  hominumgue 
Tot  tantisque  minor  ;  (nicm  Icr  vinilicta  (|u:iterque 
Imposita  haud  uniiuum  misera  formidine  privet  ■? 

Horat.  SaU  ii.  7,  75. 

Vindicta,  postquam  mens  a  proetore  rcccssi. 
Cur  mihi  non  liceat  jussit  qiiodcnnqiie  voluntas. 
I'ersius,  v.  88. 
Sometimes  freedom  was  piven  by  an  alapa,  or  blow  with  the 
ipen  hand  upon  the  face  or  head  : 

quibus  una  Quiritein 

Vertigo  facit.  Pers.  v.  75. 

Quos  manumittebant  eos,  Alapa  percussos,  circumageban  el 
Uberos  conlirmabant  :  from  hence,  |)crhaps,  came  the  saying  of 
a  man's  being  giddy,  or  having  his  head  turned  with  his  gowJ 
fortune. 

Vcrterit  hunc  dominns,  momento  turbinis  exit 
Marcus  Dama.  I'ers.  v.  78. 

t  Jl  was  a  general  belief  that  he  could  cure  the  spleen  by 
gacrificing  a  while  cock,  and  Willi  bis  right  foot  gently  iircssing 
the  spleen  of  the  persons,  laid  down  on  their  backs,  a  little  ou 
one  side.  Nor  was  any  so  poor  and  inconsiderable  as  not  to 
receive  the  benetit  of  his  royal  touch,  if  he  desired  it.  'J'hs 
toe  of  that  foot  was  said  to  have  a  divine  virllie,  for  after  his 
death  the  rest  of  his  body  being  consumed,  this  was  found  un- 
hurt and  untouched  by  the  fire.  Vid.  Plutarch,  in  Vita  Pyrrfai, 
tub  initio. 


Caoto     J  IIUDIBRAS.  187 

The  Ncfjiis,*  when  somo  miijhty  lord 

Or  potcututo's  to  bo  rcslor'd,  240 

And  pardou'd  for  some  c^reat  cfTence, 

Witli  wliicli  he's  \villiii;r  to  dispense, 

First  lias  liiin  laid  uiioii  his  belly, 

Then  beaten  back  and  side,  t'  a  jelly  ;t 

That  done,  he  rises,  humbly  bows,  145 

And  gives  thanks  for  the  princely  blows  ; 

Departs  not  meanly  proud,  and  boasting 

Of  liis  magnificent  rib-roasting. 

The  beaten  soldier  proves  most  manful, 

That,  like  his  sword,  endures  the  anvil, t  250 

And  justly's  found  so  formidable, 

The  more  his  valour's  malleable  : 

But  he  that  fears  a  bastinado. 

Will  run  away  from  his  own  shadow  :§ 

And  though  I'm  now  in  durance  fast,  255 

By  our  own  party  basely  cast. 

Ransom,  excliange,  parole,  refus'd, 

And  worst  than  by  the  en'my  us'd  ; 

In  close  catastall  shut,  past  hope 

Of  wit  or  valour  to  elopo  ;  2C0 

As  beards,  the  nearer  that  they  tend 

To  th'  earth,  still  grow  more  reverend  ; 

And  cannons  shoot  the  higher  pitches, 

The  lower  we  let  down  their  breeches  ; 

I'll  make  this  low  dejected  fate  263 

Advance  mo  to  a  greater  height. IT 

Quoth  s'lie.  You've  almost  made  m'  in  love 
With  that  which  did  my  pity  move. 
Great  wits  and  valours,  like  great  states, 


•  Negus  was  Uinj;  of  Abysiinia. 

t  This  story  is  told  in  Lc  Blanc's  Travels,  Part  ii.  ch.  4. 

t  TirrrtoOa'.,  fivSpoi 

inofiifetv  rXijydj,  dV/xuii/. 

See  the  character  of  a  parasite  in  the  Comic  Fragments,  Grot 
dicta  Poetiiruiii  apud  StolKrum. 

^  The  fury  of  Bucephalus  proceeded  from  the  fear  or  lils  o^a 
ibadow.     Rabelais,  vol.  i.  c.  14. 

II  A  cage  or  prison  wherein  slaves  were  e.vposed  for  sale : 

ne  sit  pra;stantior  alter 

Cappadocas  rigida  pingues  plausisse  catasta. 

Persius,  vi.76. 

fl  tO'^e  pirjSeii  ^C^i  OtSv 

TIpdTTo}v  Kaxiii  \iiiv  nOi'iii'tar]  ~orc. 
*\toi  yap  ayaduZ  to'vto  T:p6(paai{  yivCTai' 

Menand.  Fragni.  p.  108 


188  IIUDIBRAS.  IPart  ii 

Do  sometimes  sink  with  their  own  weights:*  27r, 

Th'  extremes  of  glory  and  of  shumn, 

Like  east  and  west,  become  tlie  same.t 

No  Indian  prince  has  to  his  palace 

More  followers  than  a  thief  to  tiie  gallows. 

But  if  a  beatin^f  seems  so  brave,  375 

WliLt  glories  mnst  a  whi])ping  have? 

Such  great  atchievcmcnts  cannot  fail 

To  cast  salt  on  a  woman's  tail  :t 

For  if  I  thought  your  nat'ral  talent 

Of  passive  courage  were  so  gullant,  28*) 

As  you  strain  hard  to  have  it  thought, 

I  could  grow  amorous,  and  dote. 

When  lluuibras  this  language  heard, 
He  prick'd  np's  cars,  and  Slrok'd  iiis  beard  ; 
Tliought  he,  tliis  is  the  lucky  horn-,  285 

Wines  work  when  vines  are  in  the  flower  :§ 
This  crisis  then  I'll  set  my  rest  on. 
And  put  her  boldly  to  the  qnest'on. 

Madam,  what  you  would  seem  to  doubt 
Shall  be  to  all  the  \vorld  made  out,  290 

How  I've  been  drubb'd,  and  with  what  spirit, 
And  magnanimity  I  bear  it ; 
And  if  you  doubt  it  to  be  true, 
I'll  stake  myself  down  against  you  : 
And  if  I  fail  in  love  or  troth, |1  295 

Be  you  the  winner  and  take  both. 


*  Suis  et  ipsa  Roma  viribus  ruit.        Ilor.  Ep.  xvi. 

+  That  is,  glory  and  shnme,  which  are  as  opposite  aseastand 
west,  become  the  same  as  in  the  two  following  verses  : 
No  Indian  prince  has  to  his  [r.il.ice 
More  followers  tlian  a  Ihief  lo  the  gallows.-'' 

X  Alluding  to  the  common  saying: — You  will  catch  the  bird 
f  you  tlirow  salt  on  his  tail. 

^  A  proverbial  expression  for  the  fairest  and  best  opportunity 
of  doing  any  thing.  It  is  a  common  observation  among  brewers, 
distillers  of  Geneva,  and  vinegar  makers,  that  their  liquors  fer- 
r:i3nt'uest  when  the  jilaiits  n«ed  in  Ihein  are  in  the  flower.  Boer- 
haave's  Chem.  4to.  p.  233.  Hudiliras  vainly  compares  himself 
to  the  vine  in  flower,  for  he  thinks  he  has  set  the  widow  fer- 
menting. Willis  (le  Ferment,  says,  Vulgo  increbuit  opinio  quod 
felecta  qut-ilani  ami  lempora,  ea  nimirum  in  qiiibus  vegetabilia 
cujus  gencns  florent,  &.c.  et  vina  quo  tempore  vilis  efflorescit, 
turgescentias  denuo  concipiant.  See  also  Sir  Kenelm  Digby  on 
the  cure  of  wounds  by  sympathetic  powder.  Stains  in  linen,  by 
vegetable  juices,  are  most  easily  taken  out  when  the  several 
plants  are  in  their  i)rime.  E.vamples,  in  raspberries,  quinces, 
hops,  <fec.    See  Boyle's  History  of  Air. 

11  The  nord  troth,  from  the  Saxon  treoth,  signifies  puncCualitv 
or  fidelity  in  performing  an  agreement. 


4  ».\T0  1.]  IIIJDIBRAS'.  189 

Quoth  s!ic,  I've  heard  old  ciinninn-  stagers 
Say,  fools  for  iirgnmeiits  use  \vu<rers. 
And  though  I  prais'd  your  vuloin-,  yet 
I  did  not  mean  to  baulk  your  wit,  100 

Which,  if  you  have,  you  rinist  needs  know 
What,  I  have  told  you  before  now, 
And  you  b'  expcrinieut  have  prov'd, 
I  cannot  love  where  I'm  belov'd. 

Quoth  Iliidibias,  'Tls  a  ca])rich*  30i> 

Beyond  the  iiiiliction  of  a  witch  ; 
So  cheats  to  i)lay  with  those  still  aim, 
That  do  not  understand  the  game. 
IjOvo  in  your  heart  as  idly  burns, 
As  fire  in  anti{iuo  Roman  urus,t  310 

To  warm  the  dead,  and  vainly  light 
Those  only  that  see  nothing  by't. 
Have  )'ou  not  ])ower  to  entev'ain. 
And  render  love  for  love  again  ? 
As  no  man  can  draw  in  his  breath  315 

At  once,  and  force  out  air  beneath. 
Or  do  you  love  yourself  so  much. 
To  bear  all  rivals  else  a  grutch  ? 
What  fate  can  lay  a  greater  curse, 
Than  you  upon  yourself  would  force  ;  320 

For  wedlock,  without  iove,  some  say, 
Is  but  a  lock  without  a  key. 
It  is  a  kind  of  rape  to  jnarry 
One  that  neglects,  or  cares  not  for  ye  : 


*  A  whim  or  fancy ;  from  the  Italian  word  capriccio. 

t  Fortiinin-;  Licctiis  wrote  :i  lurue  discourse  concerning  the?« 
arns,  frnui  wlicncc  l!i^lic'|i  Willvins,  in  his  Mattiematical  Me- 
moirs, halh  recited  uriny  p  irticiiliirj.  In  Ciniden's  Description 
of  Yorkshire,  a  lamp  is  said  to  have  l)een  found  in  the  tomb  of 
Constantius  Clilonis.  An  extraordinary  one  is  mentioned  tiy  St. 
Angustin,  Dc  Civitiite  I)oi,  21,  G.  .Ar^yro  est  piianiini  Veneris 
super  mare  :  ilii  est  Incerna  super  candelalinim  posita,  lucens 
ad  mare  sul)  divo  cmli,  nam  netnie  veiitus  aspergit  neque  pluvia 
extinguii.  Tlie  story  of  tlie  lamp  in  tliesepulciireof  Tullia,  ttie 
dau^titer  of  Cicero,  whicti  was  supposed  to  have  burnt  above 
1550  years,  is  t(}ld  by  I'ancirollns  and  iithers  ;  sed  credat  Juda;us. 
M.  le  Prince  de  St.  Severe  accounts  for  the  appearance  on  philo- 
sophical principles,  in  a  pamphlet  published  at  Naples,  1753. 
"  Je  crois,"  says  he,  "  d'avoir  convaincn  d'6tre  falinleuse  I'opin- 
"ion  des  lampcs  perpetnelles  des  anciens.  I,cs  lumieres 
"  imaginaircs,  que  Ton  a  vu  quelqnetbis  dans  les  anciens  sepul- 
"  crcs,  one  Ote  prorluiles  pir  le  suhite  ascension  des  sels  qui 
'yitoient  renferm6es."  lie  should  rather  have  said,  by  in 
flammable  air,  so  fVrqucnIly  generated  in  pits  and  caverns.  This 
supposition  is  confirnied  by  a  letter  of  .leroine  Giordano  to  the 
noliie  author,  dated  Lucera,  Sept.  11),  IT.'irj,  giving  a  curious  ai 
count  of  an  ancient  sepulchre  opene.  there  in  that  year. 


190  1IUD1BUA.S.  (Parth 

For  what  does  make  it  ravishment,  325 

But  b'ing  against  tiie  mind's  consent  ? 

A  rape,  that  is  the  more  inhuman. 

For  being  acted  by  a  woman 

Why  are  you  fair,  but  to  entice  us 

To  love  you,  that  you  may  despise  us?  330 

But  though  you  cannot  love,  you  say, 

Out  of  your  own  fantastic  way,* 

Why  should  you  not,  at  least,  allow 

Those  that  love  you,  to  do  so  too : 

For,  as  you  fly  me,  and  pursue  333 

Love  more  averse,  so  I  do  you  ; 

And  am,  by  your  own  doctrine,  taugl.t 

To  practise  what  you  call  a  fault. 

Quoth  she.  If  what  you  say  be  true, 
Vou  must  fly  me,  as  I  do  you  ;  340 

But  'tis  not  wliat  we  do,  but  say. 
In  love,  and  preaching,  that  must  sway 

Quoth  he,  'I'o  bid  me  not  to  love. 
Is  to  forbid  my  pulse  to  move. 

My  beard  to  grow,  my  ears  to  prick  up,  345 

Or,  when  I'm  in  a  fit,  to  hickup : 
Command  me  to  piss  out  the  moon, 
And  'twill  as  easily  be  done. 
Love's  power's  too  great  to  be  withstood 
By  feeble  human  flesh  and  blood.  350 

'Twas  he  that  brought  upon  his  knees 
The  hecf'ring  kill-cow  Hercules  ; 
Reduc'd  his  leaguer-lion's  skin 
T'  a  petticoatit  and  made  him  spin  : 

*  U  has  generally  been  printed  fanatic  ;  but,  I  l>e!ieve,  most 
readers  will  approve  of  Ur.  Grey's  alteration.    It  agrees  better 
ivilh  tlie  sense,  and  with  what  she  says  afterwards  : 
Yet  'tis  no  fantastic  i)iqiie 
I  have  to  love,  nor  coy  dislike. 
Though  fanatic  sometimes  signifies  mad,  irrational,  ab.'-iird 
thus  Juvenal,  iv. : 

ut  fanaticus  a-stro, 

Percussus.  Uellona,  tuo 

t  liOaguer  signifies  a  siege  laid  to  a  town  ;  it  seems  to  be  also 
used  for  a  pitched  or  standing  catnp:  a  leaguer  coat  is  a  sort  of 
watch  cloak,  or  coat  used  by  soldiers  when  they  are  at  a  siege 
or  upon  <luty.  Hudibras  liere  speaks  of  the  lion's  skin  as  Ker- 
cales's  leaguer,  or  military  habit,  his  canipaign  coat.  See  Skin- 
ner's Lexicon  :  art.  Leaguer.  Liena,  in  Latin,  is  by  Ainsworlh 
IranslatL-d  a  soldier's  leaguer  coat.  Hercules  changetl  clotbea 
With  Oinphale.    Ovid.  Fasti,  ii. 

Cultibus  Alciden  instruit  ilia  suis. 

Dat  tenues  fmicas  Ga:tulo  murice  tinctas" 

Ipsa  capit  clavamque  gruvem,  spoliuiiKiUC  leonls. 


Vajtto  I.]  IIUDIBR\S.  191 

Seis'd  on  his  club  and  made  it  dwindle*  355 

T'  a  feeblo  di.stafF,  and  a  s[)indio. 
'Twas  lie  nuido  emperors  frallants 
To  their  own  sisters,  and  tiieir  aunts  ; 
Set  popes  and  cardinals  agog, 

To  play  with  pages  at  leap-frog  ;t  300 

'Twas  he  that  gave  our  senate  purges, 
\nd  flnx'd  the  house  of  many  a  burgess  ;t 
Made  those  that  represent  the  natioi; 
Submit,  and  sutler  amputation  : 

And  all  the  grandees  o'  tli'  cabal,  303 

Adjourn  to  tubs,  at  spring  and  fall. 
He  mounted  synod-men,  and  rode  'cm 
To  Dirty-lane  and  little  Sodom  ; 
Made  'cm  curvet,  like  Spanish  gennets, 

And  take  the  ring  at  madam .§  37C 

'Twas  he  that  made  Saint  Francis  do 

More  than  the  devil  could  tem[)t  him  to  ;i| 

In  cold  and  frosty  weather  grow 

Enamour'd  of  a  wife  of  snow  ; 

And  though  she  were  of  rigid  temper,  375 

With  melting  Hames  accost  and  tempt  he' ; 

Which,  after  in  enjoyment  quenching- 

He  hung  a  garland  on  his  ■:  ngine  ''? 

Quoth  she.  If  love  have  these  effects, 
Why  is  it  no*  forbid  our  sex?  380 

Why  is'»  rot  damn'd,  and  interdicted, 
For  Jiicbolical  and  wicked  ? 
A^id  sung,  as  out  of  tune,  against. 


*  Miermias  inter  calalhum  tenuisse  puellas 

Uiceris  ;  et  (Iniiiiiia;  perliiniiisse  iiiiiuis. 
Non  I'lijtis,  Alcide,  victiicein  mille  lahornm 

Rasililms  calalliis  iiniidsuisse  nianuin  7 
Crassaiiuc  roluivlo  ileihicis  |)i)Hice  IiIm, 
^qiKKiui;  t'oniiuiif  jieiisa  rcpeiidis  heriE. 

Ovid.  Epist.  Dc'janira  Ilerciili. 

t  Cardinal  Casa,  archliishop  of  Uenevontuni,  was  accused  of 
having  wriucn  some  llalian  verses,  in  his  ynulh,  in  praise  of 
eodoniy 

;  This  alludes  to  Oliver  Croinwell  turning  the  members  oiil 
of  the  house  of  commons,  and  calling  Harry  Martin  and  Sir  Pe- 
ter VVentworlh  whorcmaslers.  Ecliard"s  History  of  England, 
Viil.  ii.  p.  27.). 

<s  The  Taller  mentions  a  lady  of  this  stamp,  called  Hennet. 

Il  lir  Ihe  legend  of  the  life  of  St.  Francis,  we  are  told,  that  be- 
ing tempted  by  the  devil  in  the  shape  of  a  virgin,  he  subdued 
his  passiiin,  by  eiiibr:>cing  a  pill.ir  of  snow. 

II  In  the  history  of  the  life  of  I.ewls  XIII.  by  .lames  Howell, 
Zsq.,  p.  81),  it  is  siiid,  ihal  the  French  hor-^cmen  who  were  killed 
at  Ihe  Isle  of  Rhe,  had  Iheif  mistresses'  favors  lied  about  thcl/ 
engines. 


192  11LD1BRA8.  [Part  n 

As  Turk  and  Pipe  are  by  the  saints?* 

I  find,  I've  jrreatcr  reason  for  it,  383 

Tlmu  I  believ'd  before  l'  abhor  it. 

Quoth  Hudibras,  these  sad  effects 
Spring  from  your  lieathenish  neglects 
Of  Icve's  great  pow'r,  wliich  he  returns 
Upon  yourselves  with  equal  scorns  ;  390 

And  those  who  worthy  lovers  slight, 
Plagues  witli  pre[)ost'rous  appetite  ; 
This  made  the  beauteous  queen  of  Crete 
To  take  a  town-bull  for  her  sweet  ;t 
And  from  her  greatness  stoop  so  low,  393 

To  be  the  rival  of  a  cow. 
Others,  to  prostitute  their  great  liearts, 
To  be  baboons'  and  monkeys'  sweet-liearts. 
Some  with  the  dev'l  himself  in  league  grow, 
By's  representative  a  negro  ;  400 

'Twas  this  made  vestal  maids  love-sick. 
And  venture  to  be  buried  quick. t 
Some  by  their  fathers  and  their  brothers,^ 
To  be  made  mistresses,  and  mothers. 
'Tis  this  that  proudest  dames  enamours  405 

On  lacquies,  and  varlets-des-chambres  :|| 
Their  haughty  stomachs  overcomes, 


Perhaps  the  saints  were  fond  of  Robert  Wisdom's  hymn  : 

'•  Preserve  ns,  Lord,  by  thy  dear  word — 
"  From  Turk  and  Pope,  defend  us,  Lord." 

t  Pasiphnii,  the  wife  of  Minos,  was  in  love  with  a  man,  whose 
name  was  Taurus,  or  hull. 

t  15y  the  Ruriian  law  the  vestal  virgins  were  buried  alive,  If 
Ihey  broke  their  vow  of  chastity. 

5  Myrrha  patrcui,  sed  non  quo  filia  debet,  ainavit. 

Ovid,  de  Arte  Am.  i.  285. 

II  Varlet  was  formerly  used  in  the  same  sense  as  valet :  per- 
haps our  poet  might  please  himself  with  the  meaning  given  to 
this  word  in  later  days,  when  it  came  to  denote  a  rogue.  The 
word  knave,  which  now  signifies  a  cheat,  formerly  meant  no 
more  than  a  servant.  Thus,  in  an  old  translation  of  St.  Paul's 
Epistles,  and  in  Dryden.  Sir.  Binler.  in  his  Posthumous  Works, 
nses  (he  word  vnrlct  fur  bumbailitf,  though  I  ilo  not  find  it  in  this 
sense  in  any  dictionary.  See  Hutler's  Genuine  Remains,  vol.  ii. 
pp.  ?'  and  17L    Thus  fur  in  Latin  : 

Quid  domini  faciant,  audcnt  cum  .alia  fures. 

Virg.  Eel.  iii.  10. 

E.xilis  donius  est,  ubi  nou  et  multa  supersunt, 
Et  dominum  fallunt,  et  prosunt  furilius. 

Uor.  Epist  lib.  i.  6,  45. 

This  passage  is  quoted  by  Plularcn  in  the  life  of  LucuKns 


Canto  I.J  lIUDIIillAS.  193 

And  makes  'eni  stoop  to  dirty  grooms, 

To  slight  the  world,  and  to  disi)urage 

Claps,  issue,  infamy,  and  marriage.*  41») 

Quoth  siie,  These  judgments  are  sevcrft, 
Yet  sneh  as  I  should  ratlier  bear, 
Than  trust  men  witii  their  oaths,  or  prove 
Their  faith  and  secrecy  in  love. 

Says  he.  There  is  a  weighty  reason  415 

Fore  secrecy  in  love  as  treason. 
Love  is  a  burglarer,  a  felon, 
That  in  the  windore-eyc  docs  steal  hit 
To  rob  the  heart,  and,  with  his  prey, 
Steals  out  again  a  closer  way,  420 

Which  whosoever  can  discover, 
He's  sure,  as  he  deserves,  to  suffer. 
Love  is  a  fire,  that  burns  and  sparkles 
In  men,  as  nat'rally  as  in  charcoals, 
Which  sooty  chymists  stop  in  holes,  425 

When  out  of  wood  (l)ey  e.\tract  coals  ;t 
So  lovers  sliould  their  passions  choke. 
That  tlio'  they  burn,  they  may  not  smoke. 
'Tis  like  that  sturdy  thief  that  stole. 
And  dragg'd  beasts  backward  into's  hole  ;§  430 

So  love  does  lovers,  and  us  men 
Draws  by  the  tails  into  his  den. 
That  no  impression  may  discover. 
And  trace  t'  his  cave  the  wary  lover 
But  if  you  doubt  1  should  reveal  435 


*  That  is,  to  sliisht  the  ophiion  of  the  world,  and  to  undertake 
the  want  of  issue  iin<l  marriase  on  the  one  liand,  and  llie  acqtli- 
sition  of  claps  and  infamy  on  the  other:  or  perhaps  the  poet 
meant  a  hitter  sneer  on  matrimony,  hy  saying  love  makes  them 
suhniit  to  llie  embraces  of  tlieir  inferiors,  and  conseijiientiy  to 
disregard  four  principal  evils  of  such  connections,  disease,  child- 
bearins,  disgrace,  and  marriajie. 

t  1'liusit  is  spelt  in  most  editions,  and  |)crhaps  most  agreeably 
to  the  etymology.    Sec  Skinner. 

X  Charcoal  colliers,  in  order  to  keep  their  wood  fr(>m  blazing 
when  it  is  in  the  pit,  cover  it  carefully  with  turf  and  mould. 

$  Cacus.  a  noted  robber,  wlio,  when  he  had  stolen  cattle,  drew 
iliem  backward  by  Iheir  tails  into  his  den,  lest  they  should  be 
ffaced  and  discovered : 

At  furiis  Caci  mens  efTera,  ne  quid  inausiim 
Aul  inlractatum  scelerisve  dolive  fuissct, 
Quatuor  a  stabulis  pra'Stanti  corpora  tauros 
Avertit,  totidem  forma  superante  juvenc;«s  ; 
Atque  lios,  ne  qu:;  forent  pedibus  vestigia  reotis, 
Cauda  in  speiuncam  Iraclos,  versisque  viarum 
(ndiciis  raptos,  saxo  occultabat  ipaco. 

iEneis  viii.  2(t5 


i»4 


HUDIBilAS.  IPjrti. 


455 


What  you  entrust  me  under  seal, 
I'll  prove  myself  as  close  and  virtuous 
As  your  own  secretary,  Albertus.* 

Quoth  she,  I  grant  you  may  be  close 
In  hiding  what  your  anus  propose: 
Love-passions  are  like  parables, 
By  which  men  still  mean  something  else : 
Tho'  love  be  all  the  world's  pretence. 
Money's  the  mythologic  sense. 
The  real  substance  of  the  shadow. 
Which  all  address  and  courtship's  mtde  to. 

Thought  he,  I  understand  your  play, 
And  how  to  quit  you  your  own  way ; 
He  that  will  win  his  dame,  must  do 
As  Love  docs,  when  he  bends  his  bow  ; 
With  one  hand  thrust  the  lady  from, 
And  with  the  other  pull  her  home.t 
I  grant,  quoth  he,  wealth  is  a  great 
Provocative  to  am'rous  heal: 
It  is  all  philtres  and  high  diet. 
That  makes  love  rampant,  and  to  fly  out : 
'Tis  beauty  always  in  tlie  flower. 
That  buds'  and  blossoms  at  fourscore  : 
'Tis  that  by  which  the  sun  and  moon. 
At  their  own  weapons  are  out-done :+  400 

*  Albertus  Ma-inus  was  l)isliop  ot  Ratisbon.  alinut  the  year 
1201),  and  wrote  a  book,  entitled,  De  Secretis  Miilierinii.  Hence 
the  poet  faceliuusly  calls  liiiii  the  women's  secretary.  It  was 
printed  at  Amsterdam,  in  the  year  1G4:J,  with  anotlicr  silly  book, 
entitled,  Michaeiis  Scoti  de  Secr(.-tis  Naturje  Opus. 

t  The  Harleian  Miscellany,  vol.  vi.  p.  530,  describes  an  inter- 
view between  Perkin  Wai^beck  and  lady  Catharine  Gordon, 
which  may  serve  as  no  improper  specimen  of  this  kind  of  dalli- 
ance. "If  I  |)revail,"  says  he,  '"let  this  kiss  seal  up  the  con- 
"  tract,  and  this  kiss  t)ear  witness  to  the  indentures;  and  this 
"  kiss,  because  one  witness  is  not  sufficient,  consunnuate  the 
"assurance.— And  so,  with  a  kind  of  reverence  and  fashionable 
•'gesture,  after  he  had  kissed  her  thrice,  he  took  her  in  both  his 
"hands,  crosswise,  and  -lazcd  upon  her,  with  a  kind  of  putting 
"her  from  him  and  pulling  her  to  him;  and  so  again  and  again 
"rekissed  her,  and  set  her  in  her  place,  with  a  jiretty  niaanel 
"of  enforcement." 

I  Gold  and  silver  are  marked  by  the  sun  and  moon  in  chem- 
istry, as  they  were  supposed  to  be  more  immediately  under  tho 
■  nfluence  of  those  uminarios.  Thus  Chaucer,  in  tlie  Chanones 
Vemannes  Tale,  1   K:ii)2,  ed.  Tyrwhitt: 

The  bodies  sevcne  eke.  lo  hem  here  anon  • 
Sol  gold  is,  and  Luna  silver,  we  threpe, 
IMars  iren.  Mercuiie  quicksilver  we  clepc, 
Saturnus  led.  and  Jupiter  is  tin, 
And  Venus  coper,  by  my  fader  kin. 
The  appropriation  of  certain  metals  to  the  seven  planot*  ni 


iliNTO  1.1  IIUDIBRAS.  1<J5 

Tliat  makes  kniglits-crraiit  fall  in  trances, 

And  lay  about  'em  in  lomancos : 

'Tis  virtue,  wit,  and  worth,  and  all 

That  men  divine  and  sacred  call  :* 

For  what  is  worth  in  any  tliinir,  463 

Bnt  so  mnch  money  as  'twill  bring? 

Or  what  but  riches  is  there  known, 

Which  man  can  solely  call  his  own; 

In  wliicii  no  creature  goes  his  half, 

Unless  it  bo  to  squint  and  la  igh  ?  470 

I  do  confess,  witli  goods  and  land, 

I'd  have  a  wife  at  second  hand  ; 

And  such  you  are :  nor  is't  your  person 

My  stomach's  set  so  sliarp  and  fierce  on  ; 

But  'lis  your  better  ])art,  your  riches,  475 

That  my  enaniour'd  heart  bewitches : 

Let  me  your  fortune  hut  possess, 

And  settle  your  jjorson  how  you  please  ; 

Or  make  it  o'er  in  trust  to  the  devil, 

You'll  find  me  reasonable  and  civil.  480 

Quoth  she,  I  like  tiiis  plainness  better 
Thau  false  mock-passion,  speech  or  letter, 
Or  any  feat  of  qualm  or  swooning, 
But  hanging  of  yourself,  or  drowning  ; 
Your  only  way  with  me  to  break  485 

Your  mind,  is  breaking  of  your  neck: 
For  as  when  merciiants  break,  o'erthrown 
Like  nine-pins,  they  strike  others  down  ; 
So  that  would  break  my  heart ;  which  done. 
My  templing  fortune  is  your  own.  190 

These  are  but  trifles ;  ev'ry  lover 
Will  damn  himself  over  and  over. 
And  greater  matters  undertake 
For  a  less  worthy  mistress'  sake: 
Yet  111'  are  the  only  ways  to  prove  405 

Th'  unfeign'd  realities  of  love  ; 
For  he  that  hangs,  or  beats  out's  brains, 
The  devil's  in  him  if  he  feigns. 

Quoth  Iludibras,  Tiiis  way's  too  rough 
For  mere  experiment  and  proof;  500 

spectlvely,  may  l)e  traceii  us  high  as  Proclus,  in  the  fifth  century 
Bnd  perhau?  is  still  more  ancient.  This  point  is  discussed  by 
Lii  Criize.  See  Fabric.  Iliblinth.  Gr.  vol.  vi.  p.  793.  The  spier 
dor  of  gold  is  more  refiiljient  than  the  rays  of  the  sun  and  mooa 
•  Et  c^nus,  et  furniam,  rcpina  peciinii  doiiat; 

Ac  bene  DUiiunatuin  dccorat  Suadela,  Venusqne. 
jy  Herat.  Ep.  i.  6,  37 


196 


IIUDIBRAS.  I  Part  r. 


It  is  nc  jesting,  trivial  matter, 

To  swing  i'  lli'  air,  or  plunge  in  \rater. 

And,  like  a  water-witch,  trj'  love  ;* 

Tliat's  to  destroy,  and  not  to  prove : 

As  if  a  man  should  be  dissected,  5tS 

To  find  what  part  is  disalTecled  : 

Your  better  way  is  to  make  over. 

In  trust,  yc.ur  fortune  to  your  lover ; 

Trust  is  a  trial ;  if  it  break, 

'Tis  not  so  desp'rate  as  a  neck  :  6'0 

Beside,  th'  e.\i)eriinent"s  more  certain, 

Men  venture  necks  to  gain  a  fortune  ; 

The  soldier  does  it  every  day. 

Eight  to  liie  week,  for  sixpence  pay:t 

Your  pettifoggers  damn  tiieir  souls,  515 

To  share  with  knaves  in  cheating  fools : 

And  merchants,  venfring  through  tlie  maiu, 

Slight  pirates,  rocks,  and  horus,  for  gain. 

This  is  tlie  way  I  advise  you  to. 

Trust  me,  and  see  Vviiat  I  will  do.  520 

Quoth  s'.ie,  I  should  be  loth  to  run 
Myself  all  th'  hazard,  and  you  none  ; 
Which  must  be  done,  unless  some  deed 
Of  your's  aforesaid  do  precede  ; 
Give  but  yourself  one  gentle  swing.t  52.'i 

*  It  was  u*u;il,  when  an  old  woman  was  suspected  of  witch- 
craft, to  throw  htr  iiilo  the  water.  If  she  swam,  she  was  judged 
Euilty;  if  she  sunii,  she  [jreserved  lier  character,  and  only  lost 
her  life.  .  . 

t  No  comparison  can  he  made  between  the  evidence  arising 
from  each  experiment;  for  as  to  venturinj:  necks,  it  proves  no 
great  matter ;  it  is  done  every  day  by  tlie  soldier,  pettifogger,  and 
nierchaiU.  If  the  soldier  has  only  sixpence  a  day,  and  one  day's 
pay  is  reserved  %veekly  fur  stoppages,  he  may  be  said  to  make 
eight  days  U)  the  week;  adding  that  to  the  account  of  labor 
which  is  deducted  from  his  pay.  Tcrcennins,  the  mutinous  sol 
dier  in  Taciiiis,  seems  to  have  been  sensible  of  some  such  hard 
ship— Denis  in  diem  assibus  animain  et  corpus  a;stimari;  hinc 
vesteni,  anna,  teiitoria;  hinc  sa-vitiam  cenluriouum,  et  vaca 
tiones  munerum  redimi.    Annal.  i.  17. 

X  "Epojrn  iravet  Xiydi,  d  Of  nhi  XP^">i  '■ 

'F.dv  l)c  fill  St  ravTa  riji'  (p\6ya  cGiar,, 
(itudirda  aoi  to  \oi-iv  ifOTi/oOw  (io6xoi. 

Anthol.  Gr.  'A  ed.  Aid 

In  Diogenes  Laertius  cum  notis  Meibom.  p.  3dG,  it  is  thiu 
printed : 

'Epura  ra<lct  Xifidf,  £(  hi  n<i  xg6voi, 
'Eav  he  TovToti  fiij  hvvri  x^TjoOai,  lipdx"' 
See  lines  48.')  and  alsoG45  of  this  tanto,  where  the  word  Xt/z^J 
It  turned  into  dry  diet. 


e*NTO  I.]  JIUDIBRAS  ig: 

For  trial,  and  I'll  cut  the  strinif : 

Or  give  that  rev'reiid  )iead  a  maul, 

Or  two,  or  three,  agaiust  a  wall  ; 

To  shew  you  arc  a  iiiau  of  mettle, 

And  I'll  engajre  myself  to  settle.  5:{0 

Quoth  he,  i\Iy  head's  not  made  of  brass, 
As  Friar  Bacon's  noddle  was  ; 
Nor,  like  the  Indian's  skull,  so  tough, 
That,  authors  say,  'twas  nuisket-proof:* 
As  it  had  need  to  be  to  enter,  5.'I5 

As  yet,  on  any  new  adventure  ; 
You  see  what  bangs  it  has  eudur'd. 
That  would,  before  new  feats,  be  cur'd  ; 
But  if  that's  all  you  stand  upon. 
Here   strike  me  luck,  it  shall  be  done.t  540 

Quoth  she,  The  matter's  not  so  far  gone 
As  you  suppose,  two  words  t'  a  bargain  ; 
That  may  be  done,  and  time  enough. 
When  you  have  given  downright  proof: 
And  yet  'tis  no  fantastic  pique  543 

I  have  to  love,  nor  coy  dislike  ; 
'Tis  no  implicit,  nice  aversion! 
T'  your  conversation,  mien,  or  person  : 
But  a  just  fear,  lest  you  should  prove 
False  and  perfidious  in  love  ;  550 

For  if  I  thought  you  could  be  true, 
I  could  love  twice  as  much  as  you. 


*" Blockheads  and  loggerlieads  are  in  request  in  Brazil. and 

*  Iielniets  are   of    little  ine,    every  one   liavins  an   artif>ci:»l- 

*  izeil  natnr.il  morion  of  liis  liead  :  lor  tlie  Brazilians'  lieads, 
"  some  of  iliein  are  as  liaril  as  tlio  wood  lliat  grows  in  their 
"country,  lor  tlicy  cannot  be  broken,  and  tliey  have  them  so 
"  liard,  that  ours,  in  comparison  of  theirs,  are  lil<e  a  iiompion, 
■•'  and  wlien  tliey  would  injure  any  white  man,  they  call  liim 
"softhead."  liulwer's  Artitiiial  Changeling,  p.  4-2,  and  I'ur- 
chas's  Pi'lgr.  fol.  vol.  iii.  i).  UOH. 

t  Percutere  et  ferire  foedus. 

OTOiias  TCfjiiciv  Kai  bpKla.  EuRip. 

At  the  conclusion  of  treaties  a  beast  was  generally  sacrificed. 
When  liutdiers  and  country  people  make  a  barpain,  one  of  the 
parties  holds  out  in  his  hand  a  piece  of  money,  which  the  othei 
Ktrikes,  and  the  bargain  is  dosed  Callimachus  Brunck.  i.  404 
cpig.  xiv.  5.  roT)  ioKta,  tec. 

[  ¥.  /,.  Come  strike  me  luck  with  earnest,  and  draw  tlie  wri 
tings. 

JV/.  There's  a  flod's  penny  foi  thee. 

Beaumont  and  ric.cher. — Scornful  Lady,  Act  W.) 

X  Imi)licit  here  signifies  secret,  nnacconntable,  or  an  aversion 
eoticeived  from  the  report  of  others.     Sec  P  i.  c.  i.  v.  130. 


]98  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  ii 

Quotl)  111.',  I\Iy  faitli  as  adamantine, 
As  chains  of  destiny,  I'll  n^iaiutaiii  ; 
True  as  Apollo  ever  spoke,  55J 

Or  oracle  from  heart  of  oak  ;* 
And  if  you'll  give  my  flame  but  vent. 
Now  in  close  hiigger-niuggcr  pent, 
And  shine  upon  me  but  benignly, 
Witii  that  one,  and  that  other  pigsney.t  500 

The  sun  and  day  shall  sooner  part. 
Than  love,  or  you,  shake  olFmy  heart : 
The  sun  that  shall  no  more  dispense 
His  own,  but  your  bright  influence  ; 
I'll  carvo  your  name  on  barks  of  trees,!  505 

With  true  love-knots,  and  flourishes  ; 
That  shall  infuse  eternal  spring. 
And  everlasting  flourishing: 
Drink  every  letter  ou't  in  stum. 
And  make  it  brisk  champaign  become  ;§  57(i 


*  Jupiter's  oracle  in  E|)irns,  near  tlie  city  of  Dodona.  Uhi  ne 
nms  erat  Jovi  sacrum,  querneuiii  totum.  in  quo  Jovis  Dodona'i 
tt'iiiplum  fuisse  iiarratur. 

t  I'lgsney  is  a  term  of  blandishment,  from  the  An<;lo-Saxon,or 
Danish,  pifja,  a  l)retty  Kirl,  nr  the  eyes  of  a  pretty  lass  :  thus  in 
Pemhroke's  Arcadia,  Danietf.s  says  to  his  wife,  "  Miso,  mine  own 
pigsnie."  To  love  one's  mistress  more  than  one's  eyes,  isa  phrase 
used  liy  all  nations:  thus  Moschus  in  Greek,  Catullus  in  Latin  : 
Spenser,  in  his  Fairy  (iueen : 

her  eyes,  sweet  smilinc  in  delipht, 

Moystencd  their  fiery  beams,  with  which  she  thrill'd 

Frail  hearts,  yet  quenched  not  ;  like  starry  lifht, 

Which  sparkling  on  the  silent  vVaves,  does  seem  more  bright 

Thus  the  Italian  poets,  Tasso  and  Ariosto.  Tyrwhitt  says,  ivi 
a  note  on  Chaucer's  Miller's  Tale,  v.  H2;H.  "  the  Romans  used 
oculus,  as  a  term  of  endearment ;  .■»n<l  perhaps  piggesnie,  in  bur- 
lesque poetry  means  ocellus  porci,  the  eyes  of  a  pig  being  re- 
markably smill." 
i  See  Don  Quixote,  vol.  i.  ch.  4,  and  vol.  iv.  ch.  73. 
ropulus  est,  mcmini,  fluviali  consita  ripa. 

Est  in  qua  nostri  littera  scripta  memor. 
Popule,  vive  precor,  qiue  consita  margine  ripsE 

Hoc  in  rusoso  rortice  carmen  halies; 
Cum  Paris  ffinone  poterit  spirare  relicta, 
Ad  fontem  Xunlhi  versa  recurrct  aqua. 

Ovid.  CEnone  Paridi.  25. 
[Run,  run,  Orlando;  carve  on  every  tree, 
The  fair,  the  chaste,  and  une.vpressive  she. 

As  you  like  it.j 

§  St  im,  i.  e.  any  now,  thick,  unfermented  liquor,  from  the  Lat- 
in nuistum.  Dr.  Johnson,  in  his  Dictionary,  has  quoted  these 
.ines  to  prove  that  slum  may  signify  wine  icvived  by  a  new  fer- 
mentation :  hut,  pciliips,  it  means  no  moie  than  figuratively  to 
M/,  that  the  reiuembrance  of  the  widow  s  charms  could  i;irn 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS-  |0g 

WhatcVr  you  tread,  your  foot  sliall  set 

TI)o  primrose  and  llio  violet ; 

All  spices,  perfumes,  and  sweet  powders, 

Shall  borrow  from  your  bieath  tlicir  odours; 

Nature  licr  cliartcr  sliall  renew,  5r5 

And  take  all  lives  of  tliinjrs  from  you  ; 

The  world  depend  upon  your  eye, 

And  when  you  frown  upon  it,  die. 

Only  our  loves  shall  still  survive. 

New  worlds  and  natm-cs  to  outlive  ;  580 

And  like  to  herald's  moons,  remain 

All  crescents,  without  change  or  wane. 

Hold,  hold,  quoth  slie,  no  more  of  this, 
Sir  knight,  you  take  your  aim  amiss: 
For  you  will  find  it  a  hard  chapter,  586 

To  catch  me  with  poetic  rapture. 
In  which  your  mastery  of  art 
Doth  show  itself,  and  not  your  heart ; 
Nor  will  you  raise  in  mine  combustion, 
By  dint  of  high  heroic  fustian  :*  590 

liad  wine  into  good,  foul  muddy  wine  into  clear  sparkling  cham- 
paipne.  It  was  usual,  anion!;  the  gallants  of  Butler's  time,  tc 
drink  as  many  Immpers  to  their  mistress's  health,  as  there  were 
letters  in  her  name.  The  tnsiiim  prevailed  among  the  Romans  ; 
thus  the  well-known  ejiigram  of  Martial  ; 

Na'via  sex  cyathis,  septem  Jn^tina  bibatur, 
Quinquc  Lytas,  Lyde  quatuor,  Ida  tribus. — Ep.  i.  72. 

For  every  letter  drink  a  glass. 
That  spells  the  name  you  fancy, 

Take  four,  if  Sitky  be  your  lass, 
And  live  if  it  be  Nancy. 

The  like  compliment  was  paid  to  a  particular  friend  or  bene- 
i  ctor: 

Det  nurncrum  cyathis  Instnnti  littera  Riifi : 
Auctor  cnim  tunti  muncris  ille  mihi. — Mart.  epig.  viii.  51. 

Mr.  Sandys,  in  his  Tr.-ivols,  says,  this  custom  is  still  much 
practised  by  the  merry  Greeks,  in  the  Morea,  and  other  parts  of 
die  hevant. 

E>xf'  AvaiiiKTii  Kvddvi  Sixa.  lib.  vii.  Anthol. 
*  In  Butler's  MS.  I  fin<l  the  following  lines 
In  foreign  universities, 
When  a  kind's  born,  or  weds,  or  dies, 
All  other  studies  are  laid  by, 
And  all  apply  to  poetry, 
t^onie  write  in  Hebrew,  some  in  Greek, 
Ami  some  more  wise  in  Anbic  ; 
T' avoid  the  critique,  and  th'  e.\ pence 
Ol  dirticuUer  wit  and  sense. 
Foreign  lanil  is  often  used  by  Mr.  Butler  for  England     8*c 
(lenaine  Remains. 


200  lIL'DlBilAS  [Part  u 

She  that  with  poetry  is  won, 
Is  but  a  desk  to  write  upon  ; 


As  no  edse  can  lie  shiirp  and  keen, 
Tliiil  liy  llie  siilillest  eye  is  seen  : 
Po  IK)  wit  should  iiciile  li'allow'd 
Thai's  easy  to  be  understood. 

For  poels  sin";,  though  more  speak  plain, 
As  iho>c  tli:it  (luoie  their  vorks  maintain; 
And  no  in m's  bound  to  any  thing 
He  does  not  say,  hut  only  sing. 
For,  since  the  good  Conl'essiir's  time, 
No  deed-:  arc  valid,  writ  in  rhyme  ; 
Nor  any  held  authentic  acts, 
Seal'd  wiih  the  tooth  upon  the  wax: 
For  men  did  then  so  freely  de;il, 
Their  words  were  deeds,  and  tecih  a  seal. 

The  following  griints  are  said  to  be  authentic;  hut  whethel 
tliey  are  or  not,  they  are  probably  what  the  poet  alludes  to  • 

Charter  of  Edward  the  Confessor. 
IcHE  Edward  Konyng, 
Hr.ve  geovenof  my  lorcst  the  keeping, 
Of  the  hundred  of  (.'heliiicrand  Daneing,  [now  Den- 

gy,  in  Essex.] 
To  Ranilolph  I'eperking  and  to  his  kindling, 
With  heiirte  and  liynde,  doe  and  bock. 
Hare  and  lox,  cat  and  brock,  [badger] 
Wild  foule  with  his  flocke, 
Patrick,  fesaunte  hen,  and  fesaunte  cock; 
With  green  and  wilde  stobb  and  stokk,  [timber  and 

stubbs  of  trees] 
To  kepen,  and  to  yecmien  hy  all  her  might,  [their] 
ISoth  by  day,  and  eke  by  night. 
And  hounds  for  to  holde, 
Gode  swift  and  bolde. 

Four  Greyhounds  and  six  beaches,  [bitch  hounds] 
For  hare  and  fox,  and  wilde  catles 
And  thereof  ich  made    him    my  bocke  [i.  e.  this 

deed  my  writlen  evidence] 
Witlenes  the  Bishop  VVolston, 
And  borlie  ycleped  many  on.  [witness] 
And  Sweyne  of  Essex,  our  brother, 
And  token  hin  many  other, 
And  our  steward  llowelin 
Thai  besought  me  for  h_ii. 

I  Sit  beaches. — This  lipc,  as  quoted  by  Steevens  in  a  note  to  Iho 
Introduction  to  theTaimiigof  the  Shrew,  runs  thus,  Four  Grey- 
hounds and  six  hriite/.es.  which  must  be  the  correct  read.ng,  as 
may  be  gathered  from  the  following  quotations  from  Mil, shew 
nnd  Ducange,  unnoticed  by  tlie  Shakspeare  Commentators,  in 
their  numerous  notes  on  the  word,  and  their  doubts  on  its  gen- 
der. A  brache,  a  little  hound. — .Minshew.  liracetua,  brachtlus, 
vuigo  brachct.  Charta  lien.  11.  tnm.  '2,  Monast.  Angl.  p.  USX 
Concedo  eis  2  leporarios  ct  4  bracctos  ad  Icporem  capicndum. 
Consiit.  Feder.  Keg.  Sicil.  c.  115.  Ut.  nuUus  ....  pra-sumal 
eaneni  braccum  videlicet,  vel  leporariuui  ....  ulteri-js  furtc 
lubtrahere.] 


Canto  I.]  KUDIBRAS.  iq; 

And  what  iiK'u  say  of  her,  they  mean 

No  nioie  tliuu  that  on  wliicli  tlicy  lean. 

Some  will)  Arabian  spices  strive,  595 

T'  embalm  lier  cruelly  alive  ; 

Or  season  lier,  as  Fieacii  cooks  use 

Their  ha:it-goiits,  bouiilies,  or  ragouts  ; 

Use  lier  so  barbarously  ill, 

To  grind  her  li|>s  ujwn  a  mill  *  6)0 

Until  the  facet  doublet  dotli 

Fit  their  rhymes  rather  than  her  mouth  ;+ 

Her  mouth  compar"d  t'  an  oyster's,  with 

A  row  of  pearl  ia"t,  'stead  of  teeth  ; 

Bock,  in  Saxon,  is  Iioolc,  or  written  evidence;  this  land  was 
.licrelVire  held  as  l)ocl:in(l,  a  noble  tenure  in  strict  entail,  thai 
could  not  be  alienated  from  the  right  lieir. 

Ilopton,  in  the  County  of  Salop, 
To  the  Hctjrs  Male  of  the  Uopton,  lawfully  begotten. 

From  me  and  from  niyne,  to  thee  and  to  thine, 
While  the  water  runs,  and  the  sun  doth  shine, 
For  lack  of  hejrs  to  the  king  againe. 

I  William,  kin;;,  the  third  year  of  my  reign, 

Give  to  the  Ni)rni:in  liunter, 

Tome  that  art  liolli  /<iir  and  (lcarc,[related,  or  of  my  lineage] 

The  ilop  and  the  Hoptoune, 

And  all  the  hounds  up  and  downe 

Under  the  earth  to  hell, 

Above  the  earth  to  heaven. 

From  me,  and  from  niyne. 

To  thee  and  to  thyno  ; 

As  good  and  as  fairc. 

As  ever  they  myne  were  ; 

To  witness  that  this  is  sootk,  [truej 

I  bile  the  wite  wax  with  my  tooth, 

Before  Jugg,  Marode,  and  Margery, 

And  my  third  son  Ilenery, 

For  one  i)ow,  and  one  l)road  arrow. 

When  I  come  to  hunt  upon  Yarrow. 

This  grant  of  William  the  Conqueror,  is  in  .lohn  Stow's  Chron- 
icle, and  in  Blount's  .Antlent  Tenures.  Other  rhyming  charter* 
Diay  be  seen  in  Morant's  Essex  ;  Little  Dunmow,  vol.  ii.  p.  4211^ 
and  at  Rochford,  vol.  i.  p.  '272. 

*  As  they  do  by  comparing  her  lips  to  rubies  polished  l)y  a 
mill,  which  is  in  elfect,  and  no  better,  than  to  grind  by  a  mill, 
and  that  until  those  false  stones  (for,  wlien  all  is  done,  lips  are 
not  true  rubies)  do  plainly  apjjear  to  have  been  brought  in  by 
them  as  rather  befitting  the  absurdity  of  their  rhymes,  than  that 
there  is  really  any  propriety  in  the  comparison  between  her  lips 
and  rubies. 

t  Poets  and  romance  writers  have  not  been  vcrj' scrupulous  in 
the  choice  of  metaphors,  when  llicy  represented  the  beauties  of 
their  mistresses.  Facets  are  precious  stones,  ground  a  la  facett& 
or  with  many  faces,  that  tliey  may  have  the  greater  lustre 
Doublets  are  crystals  joined  together  with  a  cement,  grejn  of 
ted,  in  order  U  resemble  stones  of  that  color. 


203 


HUDIBRAS.  (Part  n 


Other:  make  poesies  of  her  cliccks,  01)3 

Where  red,  and  whitest  colours  mix  ; 

In  which  the  lily  and  the  rose, 

For  Indian  lake  and  ceruse  goes. 

Tlic  sun  and  moon,  hy  her  bright  eyes, 

Eclips'd  and  darken'd  in  the  skies  ;  610 

Are  but  bliick  patches  that  she  wears. 

Cut  into  suns,  and  moons,  and  stars,* 

By  which  astrologers,  as  well 

As  those  in  lieav"n  above,  can  tell 

Wha;  strange  events  they  do  foreshow,  613 

Unto  her  under-world  below.t 

Her  voice  the  music  of  the  spheres, 

So  loud,  it  deafens  mortal  ears  ; 

As  wise  pliilosopliers  have  thought, 

And  that's  the  cause  we  hear  it  not.t  CCO 

This  has  been  done  by  some,  who  those 

Til'  ador'd  in  rhyme,  would  kick  in  prose  ; 

And  in  those  ribbons  would  have  hung, 

Of  which  melodiously  they  sung.§ 

That  have  the  hard  fate  to  write  best,  e23 

Of  those  that  still  desei-ve  it  least  ;1| 

It  matters  not,  how  false  or  forc'd, 

So  the  best  things  be  said  o'  th'  worst ; 


*  The  ladies  formerly  were  very  fond  of  wearing  a  great  num 
ber  of  black  patches  on  their  (aces,  ami,  perhaps,  might  amuse 
themselves  in  devising  the  shape  nf  them.  This  fashion  is  al 
luderi  to  in  Sir  Kenelni  Digby's  discourse  on  the  sympathetic 
ptnvder.  and  ridiculed  in  the  Spectator,  No.  50.  But  the  puet 
here  alludes  to  Dr.  Biihver's  Artificial  Changeling,  p.  2J2,  &c. 

t  A  double  entendre. 

t  "  Pythagoras."  saith  Censorinus,  "  asserted,  that  this  world 
"is  made  according  to  musical  proportion;  and  that  the  seven 
"  planets,  betwixt  heaven  and  earth,  which  govern  the  nativities 
"of  mortals,  have  an  harmonious  motion,  and  render  various 
"sounds  according  to  their  sevej-al  heights,  so  consonant,  that 
"  they  make  most  sweet  n)e!ody,  but  to  us  inaudible,  because  of 
"  the  greatness  of  the  noise,  w'nich  the  narniw  passage  of  our 
"ears  is  not  capable  to  receive."  Stanley's  Life  of  Pythagoras 
p.  393. 

^  Thus  Waller  on  a  girdle  : 

Give  me  but  what  this  riband  bound. 

1(  Warburton  was  of  opinion  thai  Butler  alluded  to  one  of  Mr. 
Waller's  poems  on  Saccharissa,  where  he  complains  of  her  un- 
kindness.  Others  supp.i<e,  that  he  alludes  to  Mr.  Waller^s 
poems  on  Oliver  Cromwell,  and  King  Charles  11.  The  jioefs 
reply  to  the  king,  when  he  reproached  him  with  having  written 
oest  in  praise  of  Oliver  Cromwell,  is  known  to  every  one.  ^"  We 
•'  poet'<,"says  he,  "succeed  better  in  fiction  than  in  truth."  But 
Ihis  passage  seems  to  relate  to  ladies  and  love,  not  to  kings  and 
politics. 


Canto  i.]  ilUDIBRAS.  203 

It  goes  for  nothing  when  'tis  said, 

Only  the  arrow's  drawn  to  tli'  head,  fi30 

Whether  it  bo  tiie  swan  or  goose 

They  level  at :  so  slicphenis  use 

To  set  the  Kunio  mark  on  the  hip, 

Both  of  their  sound  and  rotten  sheep  : 

For  wits  that  carry  low  or  wide,  633 

Must  bo  aini'd  higher,  or  besido 

The  murk,  which  else  they  ne'er  como  nigh, 

But  when  they  take  their  aim  awry.* 

But  I  do  wonder  you  should  chuse 

This  way  t'altack  nie  with  your  inuse.  040 

As  one  cut  out  to  pass  your  tricks  on, 

With  Fulhain's  of  poetic  fiction  :t 

I  rather  hop'd  I  should  no  more 

Hear  from  you  o'  th'  gallanting  score  ; 

For  hard  dry  bastings  use  to  prove  (i43 

The  readiest  remedies  of  love,t 

Next  a  dr}'  diet ;  but  if  those  fail. 

Yet  this  uneasy  loop-hol'd  jail, 

In  which  y'  are  hamper'd  by  the  fetlock, 

Cannot  but  put  y'  in  mind  of  wedlock  :  650 

Wedlock,  that's  worse  than  any  hole  here, 

If  that  may  serve  you  for  a  cooler 

T'  allay  your  mettle,  all  agog 

Upon  a  wife,  the  heavier  clog. 


*  An  allusion  to  gunnery.  In  Butler's  MS.  CoDimon-piiie  book 
«.e  the  following  lines  : 

Inppnuity,  or  wit, 
Poes  only  th'  owner  lit 
For  nothin!;,  but  to  be  undone. 

For  nature  never  gave  to  mortal  yet, 
A  Tree  and  arbitrary  power  of  wit: 
lint  bound  him  to  his  L'ood  behaviour  for't. 
That  he  should  never  use  it  to  do  hurt. 

Wit  does  lint  divert  men  from  the  road. 
In  which  things  vulgarly  are  understood; 
Favours  mistake,  and  ignorance,  to  own 
A  better  sense  than  commonly  is  known. 

Most  men  arc  so  unjust,  they  look  upon 
Another's  wit  as  enemy  t'  their  own. 

That  is,  with  cheats  or  impositions.  Fulham  was  a  cnn 
word  tor  a  false  die,  many  of  them  being  made  at  that  place 
The  hifili  dice  were  loaded  so  as  to  come  up  4,  5,  6,  and  the  lo\* 
ones  1,  2  li.  Frequently  ineiilioned  in  Butler's  Genuine  Re 
s.ains. 
X  'Epura  ravft  Xtfids,  &c.    See  note  on  line  525. 


804  JIUDIBRAS.  [Fart  n 

Nor  rather  thank  your  gentler  fate,*  C.jf 

That,  for  a  bruis'd  cr  broken  pate, 

Has  freed  you  from  those  knobs  tliat  grow 

Much  harder  on  tiie  ni;iny"d  brow  : 

But  if  no  dread  can  cool  )our  courage, 

From  vent'ring  on  that  dragon,  marriage  ;  (ibtt 

Yet  give  nie  quarter,  and  advancet 

To  nobler  aims  your  puissance  : 

Level  at  beauty  and  at  wit ; 

The  fairest  mark  is  easiest  hit.* 

Quoth  Hudibras,  I  am  beforehand  661 

In  that  already,  with  your  command  ;§ 
For  where  docs  beauty  and  high  wit 
But  in  your  constellation  meet? 

Quoth  she,  What  does  a  match  imply, 
But  likeness  and  equality  ?  670 

I  know  you  cannot  think  me  fit 
To  be  111'  yokefellow  of  your  wit ; 
Nor  take  one  of  so  mean  deserts. 
To  bo  the  partner  of  your  parts  ; 
A  grace  which,  if  I  cou'd  believe,  675 

I've  not  the  conscience  to  receive. || 

That  conscience,  quoth  Hudibras, 
Is  misinform 'd  :  I'll  state  the  case. 
A  man  may  be  a  legal  donor 

Of  any  thing  whereof  he's  owner,  680 

And  may  confer  it  where  he  lists, 


*  That  is,  and  not  rather :  this  depends  upon  v.  C.39,  40,41,42. 
All  the  intermediate  verses  from  thence  tntliis  heing,  as  it  were, 
in  a  parenthesis:  the  sense  is,  But  I  do  wonder — t'  attiick  me, 
and  sliould  not  rather  thank — 

t  The  widow  here  pretends,  she  would  have  him  quit  his 
pursuit  of  her,  and  aim  hifiher;  namely,  at  beauty  and  wit. 

%  The  reader  will  observe  the  ingenious  equivocation,  or  the 
double  meanina:  of  the  word  fairest. 

(^  Where  one  word  ends  with  a  vowel,  and  the  next  begins 
with  a  w,  immediately  followed  by  a  vowel,  or  where  one  word 
ends  with  w,  iininediaiely  jneceded  by  a  vowel,  and  the  ne;:t  be- 
gins with  a  vowel,  the  poet  either  leaves  them  as  two  syllables, 
or  contracts  them  into  one,  as  best  suits  his  verse  ;  thus  in  the 
jiassage  before  us,  and  in  P.  iii.  c.  i.  v.  1,5()I,  and  V.  ill.  c.  ii.  v. 
33!),  these  are  contractions  in  the  first  case  ;  and  P.  iii.  c.  i.  v. 
804,  in  the  latter  case. 

!l  Our  poet  uses  the  word  conscience  here  as  a  word  ol  two 
syllables,  and  in  the  next  line  as  a  word  of  three  ;  thus  in  Part 
i.  c.  i.  v.  78,  ratiocination  is  a  word  of  five  syllables,  and  in  othci 
places  of  four:  in  the  tirst  it  is  a  treble  rhyme.  [In  the  first  in- 
stance, conscience  means  only  self-opinion  ;  in  tlie  second,  llu 
dibras  m.-irks  it  as  meaning  knowledge,  by  making  it  a  trisylla 
He,  (conscience,]  and  places  it  in  ludicrous  opposition  to  misin 
'cruied.J 


Tanto  I.]  IIUDIBRAS.  gj^jj 

I'  th'  judgment  of  all  casuists  : 

Tlieu  wit,  and  j);irts,  luuI  valour  may 

Bo  ali'iiated,  aud  luado  away, 

By  tliose  that  are  ])roi)rietors,  C8i 

As  I  may  give  or  sell  my  liorse. 

Quoth  slie,  I  grant  the  case  is  true, 
And  ])roper  'twixt  your  horse  and  you  ; 
But  whether  I  may  take,  as  well 
As  you  may  give  away,  or  sell  ?  t90 

Buyers,  you  know,  are  bid  beware  ; 
And  worse  than  tiiicves  receivers  are. 
How  shall  I  answer  hue  and  cr)'. 
For  a  roan-gelding,  twelve  hands  high,* 
All  spurr'd  and  svvitch'd,  a  lock  on's  hoof,t  GOri 

A  sorrel  inane  ?     Can  I  bring  proof 
Where,  when,  by  whom,  and  what  y'  are  sold  or, 
And  in  the  open  market  toll'd  for? 
Or,  should  I  take  you  for  a  stray. 
You  must  be  kept  a  year  aud  day,  700 

Ere  I  can  own  you,  liere  1'  th'  pound, 
Where,  if  ye'ro  sought,  you  may  be  found  ; 
And  in  the  mean  time  I  must  pay 
For  all  your  provender  and  hay. 

Quoth  he.  It  stands  mo  much  upon  705 

T'  enervate  this  objection. 
And  prove  myself,  by  topic  clear. 
No  gelding,  as  you  would  infer. 
Loss  of  virilitj''s  averr'd 

To  be  the  cause  of  loss  of  board,!  718 

That  does,  like  embryo  in  the  womb. 
Abortive  on  the  chin  become  : 
This  firet  a  woman  did  invent. 
In  cnvj'  of  man's  ornament : 

Semiramis  of  Babylon,  715 

Who  first  of  all  cut  men  o'  th'  stone, § 


*  This  is  a  severe  reflection  upon  the  knicht's  al)ilities,  his 
complexion,  and  liis  height,  which  the  widow  intimates  was  not 
more  than  four  feet. 

t  There  is  humor  in  the  rcpresentntion  which  the  widow 
niakcs  of  the  knisilit,  under  the  similitude  of  a  ro:^n  seldin^, 
supposed  to  be  stolen,  or  to  have  stniyeil.  Fiirniers  often  put 
locks  on  the  forefeet  of  their  horses,  to  prevent  their  being 
stolen. 

i  See  the  note  on  line  M3  of  thi'!  canto. 

^  Mr.  Kutler,  in  his  own  note,  says,  Semiramis  teneios  mares 
castravit  onuiiiun  priiim.and  quotes  Ainmian.  Marcellinus.  But 
the  poet  means  to  l;uii;h  at  IJr.  Bnlwer,  who  in  his  Artificial 
Chaniieling,  scene  21,  has  miiny  strange  stories ;  and  in  page  iJUfc^ 


72a 


006  IILDIBRAb.  .Pari  i. 

To  mar  thsir  beards,  and  laid  foundation 

Of  sovv-geldering  operation  : 

Look  on  this  beard,  and  tell  me  whether 

Eanuchs  wear  such,  or  geldings  cither?  '.'* 

Next  it  appears  I  am  no  horse, 

That  I  can  argue  and  discourse, 

Have  but  two  legs,  and  ne'er  a  tail. 

Quoth  she,  That  nothing  will  avail ; 
For  some  philosopliers  of  late  here, 
Write  men  have  four  legs  by  nature,* 
And  that  'tis  custom  makes  them  go 
Erroneously  upon  but  two. 
As  'twas  in  Germany  made  good, 
B'  a  boy  that  lost  himself  in  a  wood  ;  730 

And  growing  down  t'  a  man,  was  wont 
With  wolves  upon  all  four  to  hunt. 
As  for  your  reasons  drawn  from  tails,+ 
We  cannot  say  they're  true  or  false. 
Till  you  explain  yourself,  and  show  735 

B'  experiment,  'tis  so  or  no. 

Quoth  he,  If  you'll  join  issue  on't,t 
I'll  give  you  sat'sfact'ry  account, 
So  you  will  promise,  if  you  lose, 
To  settle  all,  and  be  my  spouse.  740 

That  never  shall  be  done,  quoth  she, 
To  one  that  wants  a  tail,  by  me  ; 
For  tails  by  nature  sure  were  meant, 
As  well  as  beards,  for  ornament  ;^ 

says,  "  Nature  gave  to  mankind  a  beard,  that  it  iiii;;ht  remain  an 
"index  in  the  tiice  of  the  misculine  eenerative  lacully." 

*  S;r  Kenelm  Oigby,  in  his  liouk  of  Bodies,  has  the  well-known 
story  of  the  wild  (ierinan  lioy,  who  went  upon  all-four,  was 
overjsrown  with  hair,  and  lived  among  the  wild  beasts,  the  credi- 
bility and  truth  of  which  he  endeavors  to  estal)lish.  See  also 
Tatler,  No.  103.  SoMie  modern  writers  are  said  to  have  the  same 
conceit.  The  second  line  here  quoted  secnn  to  want  half  a 
foot,  but  it  may  be  made  right  by  the  old  way  of  sjicUing  four, 
tower,  or  reading  as  in  the  edition  of  1709  : 

Write  that  men  have  four  legs  by  nature. 

t  See  Fontaine,  Conte  de  la  junient  du  compere  Pierre. 

i  That  is,  rest  the  cause  upon  this  point. 

^  Mr.  Butler  here  alludes  to  Dr.  Bulwer's  Artificial  Change- 
ling, p.  410,  where,  besides  the  story  of  the  Kentish  men  near 
llochester,  he  elves  an  account,  from  an  honest  young  man  ol 
Captain  Morris's  company,  in  Lieutenant-iieneral  Ireton's  regi 
.nent,  "  that  at  Cashell,  in  the  county  of  Tipperary,  in  the  prov 
"  ince  of  Munster.  in  C'arrick  Patrick  church,  seated  on  a  rock, 
•'stormed  by  Lord  Incbequin,  where  there  were  near  700  put  to 
"  the  sword,  and  none  saved  hut  the  mayor's  wife,  and  his  son  ; 
"there  were  (bund  amon;;  the  slain  of  the  Irish,  when  they 
"  were  stripjied,  diverse  that  had  tails  near  a  quarter  of  a  yard 


:i!NTo  i.J  IIUUIBRAS.  207 

And  tlio'  tlie  vulgar  count  tliem  homely :  74.°, 

In  men  or  beast  tlicy  are  so  comely, 

So  gentee,  alaniode,  and  handsome, 

I'll  never  marry  man  that  wants  cue  : 

And  'till  you  can  demonstrate  plain, 

You  have  one  equal  to  your  mane,  75C 

I'll  be  torn  piece-meal  by  a  horse. 

Ere  I'll  take  you  for  better  or  worse 

The  Prince  of  Cambay's  daily  food 

Is  asp,  and  basilisk,  and  toad,* 

Which  makes  him  have  so  strong  a  breath.  TSS 

Each  nigiit  he  stinks  a  queen  to  death  ; 

Yet  I  shall  rather  lie  in's  arms 

Than  your's,  on  any  other  terms. 

Quotli  he.  What  nature  can  afford 
I  shall  produce,  upon  my  word ;  760 

And  if  she  ever  gave  thai  boon 
To  man,  I'll  ])rove  that  I  have  one  ; 
I  moan  by  postulate  illation,t 
When  you  shall  offer  just  occasion  ; 
But  since  j-e've  yet  dcny'd  to  give  705 

My  heart,  your  pris'ner,  a  reprieve, 
But  make  it  sink  down  to  my  lieel, 
Let  that  at  least  your  pity  feel  ; 
And  for  the  sufferings  of  your  martyr, 
Give  its  poor  entertainer  quarter  ;  770 

And  by  discharge,  or  mainprise,  grant 
Deliv'ry  from  this  base  restraint. 

Quoth  she,  I  grieve  to  see  your  leg 
Stuck  in  a  hole  here  like  a  peg, 
And  if  I  knew  which  way  to  do't,  775 

Your  honour  safe,  I'd  let  you  out. 
That  dames  by  jail-delivery 
Of  errant  knights  have  been  set  free,t 


■•  long :  forty  soldiers,  that  were  eye-witnesses,  testified  the  same 
"upon  their  ojiths."  He  mentions  liliewise  a  similar  tale  of 
many  other  natinn'. 

*  See  Purchas's  Pilsrrim,  vol.  ii.  p.  H9,i.  Philosoph.  Transac 
tions,  l.wi.  314.  Montaigne,  b.  i.  E^say  on  Customs.  A  gross 
double  entendre  runs  through  the  whole  of  the  widow's  speech- 
es, and  likewise  those  of  the  knight.  See  T.  Wirton  on  English 
Poetry,  iii.  p.  10. 

t  That  is.  by  inference,  necessary  consequence,  or  presump- 
tive evidence. 

t  These  and  the  following  lines  are  a  banter  upon  romance 
writers.  Our  author  keeps  Don  (luixnte  constantly  in  his  eye, 
when  he  is  aiming  at  this  object.  In  Europe,  the  Spaniards  and 
the  French  engaged  lirst  in  this  kind  of"  writing  :  from  them  it 
was  communicated  to  :he  En,ilish. 

18 


208  HUDIBRAS.  TPart  n 

Wher.  by  enchantment  they  have  been, 

And  soinelimes  for  it  too,  laid  in,  78(1 

Is  that  which  knifjhts  are  bound  to  do 

By  order,  oaths,  and  lionour  too  ;* 

For  wiiat  arc  they  renof.-ii'd  and  famous  else, 

But  aiding  of  distressed  daniosels? 

But  for  a  lady,  no  ways  errant,  783 

To  free  a  knijrht,  we  have  no  warrant 

In  any  authentical  romance. 

Or  classic  author  yet  of  France  ;T 

Aud  I'd  be  loth  to  have  you  break 

An  ancient  custom  for  a  freak,  7JI 

Or  innovation  introduce 

In  place  of  things  of  antique  use, 

To  free  your  heels  by  any  course. 

That  might  b'  unwholesome  to  your  spurs  :t 

Which  if  I  could  consent  unto,  795 

It  is  not  in  my  pow'r  to  do ; 

For  'lis  a  service  must  be  done  ye 

With  solemn  previous  ceremony  ; 

Which  always  has  been  us'd  t'  untie 

The  cliarms  of  those  who  here  do  lie  ;  800 

For  as  the  ancients  heretofore 

To  honour's  temple  had  no  door. 

But  that  which  thorough  virtue's  lay  ;  § 

So  from  this  dimgeon  there's  no  way 

To  honour's  freedom,  but  by  passing  805 

That  other  virtuous  school  of  lashing, 

Where  knights  are  kept  in  narrow  lists. 

With  wooden  lockets  'bout  their  wrists  ; 

In  which  they  for  a  while  are  tenants. 

And  for  their  ladies  suffer  penance  :  810 

Whipping,  that's  virtue's  governess, 

Tutress  of  arts  and  sciences  ; 

That  mends  the  gross  mistakes  of  nature. 


*  Their  oath  was— Vous  difendrez  les  qiierrelles  jusies  de 
toutes  les  dames  d'honneur,  de  tmiles  Ics  veuves  qui  n'ont  point 
des  amis,  des  oridjelins,  et  des  filles  dont  la  reputation  est  en- 
tie  re. 

t  In  the  Comitia  Centuriata  of  the  Romans,  the  class  of  no- 
bility and  senators  voted  first,  and  all  other  persons  were  styled 
ini'r.i  classeui.  Hence  their  writers  of  the  first  ranis  were  called 
classics. 

1  To  your  honor.  The  spurs  are  badges  of  knighthood.  If  a 
knight  of  the  garter  is  degraded,  his  spurs  must  be  hacked  to 
pieceO)y  the  king's  conk. 

$  The  temiile  of  Virtue  and  Honor  was  built  by  Marlus  ;  tht 
wchitect  was  Mulius  ;  it  had  no  posticum.     See  Vitruviu*,  &c. 


t'ANTo  I  I  IILIDIBRAS.  20L 

And  puts  new  life  into  dull  matter  ; 

That  lays  foundalim  for  renown,  tflS 

And  all  the  honours  of  the  gown. 

This  sullerVi,  they  are  set  at  large, 

And  freed  with  hon'rable  discharge  ; 

'I'hen,  in  their  robes,  th(^  penitentials 

Ar(!  straight  presented  with  credentials,*  B20 

And  in  their  way  attended  on 

By  magistrates  of  every  town  ; 

And,  ail  respect  and  charges  paid. 

They're  to  their  ancient  seats  convey'd. 

Now  if  you'll  venture  for  my  sake,  g'25 

To  try  the  toughness  of  your  back. 

And  suffer,  as  the  rest  have  done. 

The  laying  of  a  wiiijjping  on. 

And  may  you  prosper  in  your  suit. 

As  you  with  equal  vigour  do't,  830 

I  here  engage  to  bo  your  bail, 

And  free  you  from  th'  unkuightly  jail : 

But  since  our  sex's  modesty 

Will  not  allow  I  should  be  by. 

Bring  me,  on  oath,  a  fair  account,  835 

And  honour  to,  when  you  have  done't ; 

And  I'll  adinit  you  to  the  place 

You  claim  as  due  in  my  good  grace. 

If  matrimony  and  hanging  go 

By  dest'ny,  why  not  whipjiing  too?  g4C 

What  med'ciuo  else  can  cure  the  fits 

Of  lovers,  when  they  lose  their  wits  ? 

Love  is  a  boy  by  poets  styl'd, 

Then  spare  the  rod,  and  spoil  the  child: 

A  Persian  emp'ror  whipp'd  his  grannum,  813 

The  sea,  his  mother  Venus  came  on  ;t 

And  lience  some  rev'rcnd  men  approve 

*  This  alluiles  to  the  acts  of  parliament,  33  Eliz.  cap.  4,  and  1 
James  I.  c  31,  wlicre!)y  vagrants  are  ordered  to  be  whipped,  and, 
v.'ith  a  pniper  cerlilicatc,  conveyed  by  the  constables  of  the  sev- 
eral parishes  to  the  place  of  llieir  settlement.  These  acts  are 
In  a  preat  measure  repealed  by  the  12th  of  Anne.  Explained, 
amended,  and  repealed  by  the  lOlh,  13ih,  and  17th  George  II. 

t  Spoil,  or  spill,  as  in  some  copies,  from  the  Paxon,  is  fre 
quently  used  by  Chaucer,  in  the  sense  of,  to  ruin,  to  destroy. 

Xerxes  whipped  the  sea,  wliich  was  the  motlier  of  Venus, 
*nd  Venus  was  the  mother  of  Cupid  ;  the  sea,  merefore,  vva; 
the  granjuim,  or  gnuid-motlier  of  Ctipiil,  and  the  object  of  impe- 
rial llageilation,  when  the  winds  and  the  waves  were  not  favor 
ftbic  and  propitious  to  his  fleets. 

In  Corum  atquc  Eurum  solitui  S!t;vire  flngellis 
Barbaras Juven  Sat.  x.  180 


210  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  n, 

Of  rosemarj-  in  making  love.* 

As  skilful  coopers  hoop  their  tubs 

With  Lydiau  and  with  Phrygian  diibs.t  850 

Why  may  not  whipping  have  as  good 

A  grace,  perform'd  in  time  and  mood : 

W^ith  comely  movement,  and  by  art, 

Raise  passion  in  a  lady's  heart  ? 

It  is  an  easier  way  to  make  855 

Love  by,  than  that  wliich  many  take. 

W.'io  would  not  rather  suffer  whipping. 

Than  swallow  toasts  of  bits  of  ribbiu  ?t 

Make  wicked  verses,  traits,^  and  faces. 

And  spell  names  over  with  beer-glasses  l\\  8G0 

Bo  under  vows  to  hang  and  die 

Love's  sacrifice,  and  ail  a  lie? 

With  China-oranges  and  tarts, 

And  whining-plays,  lay  baits  for  hearts? 

Bribe  chambermaids  with  love  and  money,  8f>3 

To  break  no  roguish  jests  upon  ye  ?ir 

For  lilies  limn'd  on  cheeks,  and  roses. 


*  Venns  came  from  the  sea ;  hence  the  poet  supposes  some 
lonnection  with  the  word  rosemary,  or  ros  maris,  dew  of  the  sea. 
Kcv'rend  in  the  preceding  lino  means  ancienl,  or  old:  it  is  used 
in  this  sense  by  I'ope,  in  his  Epistles  to  L(ird  C()l)hani,  v.  232. 
Reverend  age  occurs  in  Waller,  cd.  Fenton,  p.  56,  and  in  this 
poem,  P.  ii.  c.  i.  v.  XLl. 

t  Coopers,  like  blacksmiths,  give  to  their  work  alternately  a 
heavy  stroke  and  a  light  one :  which  our  poet  humorously  com- 
pares to  the  Lydian  and  Phrygian  measures.  The  former  was 
soft  and  effeminate,  and  called  by  Aristotle  moral,  because  it 
settled  and  composed  the  affections;  the  latter  was  rough  and 
martial,  and  termed  entliusiastic,  because  it  agitated  the  pas- 
sions : 

Et  Phrygio  stimiilct  numero  cava  tibia  nientes. 

Lucr.  ii.  C20. 
Phrygiis  cantibus  incitantur.     Cic.  de  Div.  i.  114. 
And  all  the  while  sweet  music  did  divide 
Her  looser  notes  with  Lydian  harmony. 
X  These  and  the  following  lines  afford  a  curious  specimen  of 
the  follies  practised  by  inamoratos. 

$  Trait  is  a  word  rarely  used  in  English,  of  French  origin, 
signifying  a  stroke,  or  turn  of  wit  or  fii.cy. 

II  This  kind  of  transmutation  Mr.  Butler  is  often  guilty  of:  he 
means,  scribble  tl.e  beer-glasses  over  with  the  name  of  his  sweet- 
heart, [ratlicr  spells  them  in  the  number  of  glasses  of  beer,  as 
kefore  at  v.  370.] 
IT  Sed  prius  ancillam  captandae  nosse  puello; 

Cura  sit:  accessus  njolliat  ilia  tuos. 
Proxima  consiliis  dominie  sit  ut  ilia  videto; 
Neve  parum  tacitis  conscia  tida  jocis. 

Ovid,  de  Arte  Amandi,  lib.  i.  331 


Canto  J.  1  IIUDIBRAS.  211 

Witii  painted  perfimics,  Iiaxanl  noses''* 

Or,  vent'iin;;;  to  be  brisk  and  wanton 

Do  penance  in  a  paper  lautiiorn  ?t  87'.' 

All  this  you  may  coin|)ound  for  now. 

By  suir'Ving  what  I  oiler  yon  ; 

Which  is  no  more  tlian  has  been  done 

By  knigiits  for  hidies  long  agonc. 

Did  not  tlie  great  La  Mancha  do  so  ^75 

For  the  Infanta  del  Toboso?t 

Did  not  th'  illustrious  Bassa  make 

Himself  a  skive  for  Misse's  sake  ?§ 

And  with  bull's  pizzle,  for  her  love, 

Was  taw'd  as  gentle  as  a  glove  ?|1  880 

Was  not  young  Florio  sent,  to  cool 

His  flame  for  B.aneafiore,  to  school, IT 

Where  pedant  made  his  pathic  bum 

For  her  suke  sutler  martyrdom  ? 

*  Their  perfumes  and  piiiiits  were  more  prejudicial  than  the 
roii^'e  and  (idors  of  iiiddern  times.  They  were  used  by  fops  and 
ci).\coml)s  as  well  as  liy  wumcn.  The  iilain  meaiiin;^  of  the  dis- 
tich is,  venture  disease  for  painted  and  perfumed  whores. 

t  Alludins  to  a  mcthnd  of  cure  for  the  venereal  disease:  and 
it  may  point  equivocally  to  some  part  of  the  Presbyterian  or 
popish  discipline. 

t  Meaniiif;  the  penance  which  Don  Quixote  underwent  for  tht 
sake  of  his  Dulcinea,  Part  i.  book  iii.  ch.  2. 

$  Ibrahim,  the  illu-trious  Bassa,  in  the  romance  of  Monsieur 
Scmlery.  His  nustress,  Isabella,  princess  of  Monaco,  being  con- 
veyed away  to  the  Sultan's  sera;zlio,  he  pets  into  the  palace  in 
quality  of  a  slave,  and,  after  a  multitude  of  adventures,  becomes 
grand-vizier. 

II  To  taw  is  a  term  used  by  leather-dressers,  sijinifying  to  soften 
the  leather,  and  make  it  pliable,  by  frequently  rubbing  it.  So  in 
Ben  Jonson's  Alchymist,  "  15e  curry'd,  claw'd,  and  flaw'd,  and 
"  taw'd  indeed."  In  the  standard  of  ancient  weights  and  meas- 
ures, we  read:  "the  cyse  of  a  tanner  that  he  tanne  ox  leather, 
"and  netes,  and  calves; — the  cyse  of  a  lawyer  that  he  shall 
'•  tawe  none  but  shepes  leather  and  deres."  So  the  tawer,  or 
fell-monger,  prepares  soft  supple  leather,  as  of  buck,  doe,  kid, 
sheep,  lamb,  for  gloves,  &c.,  which  preparation  of  tawing  diflers 
much  from  Umning.  Johnson,  in  his  Dictionary, says,  ''To  t;ivv 
"is  to  dress  white  leather,  commonly  called  alum  leather,  in 
"  contradistinction  from  tan  leather,  that  which  is  dressed  with 
'■  bark."     [To  bent  and  dress  leather  with  alum.     Nares.] 

IT  This  she  instJinces  from  an  Italian  romance,  entitled  Fiorio 
and  Biancaliore.  Thus  the  lady  mentif  ns  some  illustrious  ex- 
auiples  of  the  thrive  nations,  Spanish,  French,  and  Italian,  to 
induce  the  knight  to  give  himself  a  scourging,  according  to  the 
established  laws  of  cliivalry  and  novelism.  The  adventures  of 
Florio  and  Bianrafiore,  which  make  the  principal  subject  of 
Bcccace's  Philocopo,  were  famous  long  belore  Boccace,  as  hs 
Limself  informs  us.  Floris  anil  Blancaster  are  mentioned  as 
liluslrious  lovers,  by  a  L  inguedocian  poet,  in  his  Breviari  d'Arnor, 
dated  in  the  year  1288:  it  is  probaiile,  however,  that  the  story 
was  enlarge^l  by  lioccaco     See  Tyrwiiitt  on  Chaucer,  iv.  169. 


•)12  HUDIHRAS.  [Partu 

Did  not  a  certain  /ady  whip,  S81 

Of  late,  her  husband's  own  lordship?* 

And  the'  a  grandee  of  tiie  liouse, 

Claw'd  him  with  fundanicnta!  blows ; 

Ty'd  him  stark-naked  to  a  bt-d-post. 

And  firk'd  his  hide,  as  if  sh'  had  rid  post;  89«i 

And  after  in  the  sessions  court. 

Where  wiiippinj's  judg'd,  had  honour  for't  ? 

Tiiis  swear  you  will  perform,  and  theu 

I'll  set  you  from  th'  enchanted  den, 

And  the  magician's  circle,  clear.  895 

Quolli  he,  I  do  profess  and  sweaij 
And  will  perform  what  you  enjoin, 
Or  may  I  never  see  you  mine. 

*  Lord  Munson,  of  Bury  St.  Ediimr.d's,  one  of  the  king's  jmlj^es, 
being  i-uspected  liy  liis  lady  of"  changing  his  piililic;il  principles, 
was  hy  her,  together  with  the  ussi^t:incc  of  her  maids,  tied 
naked  to  the  bed-post,  and  whipped  till  he  promised  to  behave 
better.  Sir  Willium  Waller's  lady,  Mrs.  May,  and  Sir  Henry 
Mildniay's  lady,  were  supposed  to  have  exercised  the  same  au- 
thority. See  History  of  Flagellants,  p.  34C,  8vo.  I  meet  with 
the  following  lines  in  Butler's  MS.  Common-place  Book: 

Bees  are  governed  in  a  mi>narchy, 

By  some  more  noble  female  bee. 

For  females  never  grow  etfeminate. 

As  men  prove  often,  and  subvert  a  slate. 

For  as  they  take  to  men.  and  men  to  them, 

It  is  the  safest  in  the  worst  extream. 

The  Gracchi  were  more  resolute  and  stout. 

Who  only  by  tlieii  mother  hat!  l>een  taught. 
The  ladies  on  both  sides  were  very  active  during  the  civil 
wars;  they  held  their  nieelings,  at  which  they  encouraged  one 
another  in  their  zeal.  Among  the  MSS.  in  the  mu<eum  at  O.v 
ford  is  one  entitled  Diverse  remarkable  Orders  of  the  Ladies,  at 
the  Spring-garden,  in  parliament  asseinblcd  :  together  with  cer- 
tain votes  of  the  unlawful  iissembly  at  Kate's,  in  Covent-oarden, 
both  sent  abroad  to  prevent  misinformation.  Vesper.  Veneris 
Martii  2),  1G47.  One  of  the  orders  is:  "That  whi-reas  the  lady 
"Norton.door-kcepcrof  this  house,  complayned  of  S^r  Robert  Har- 
"  ley,  a  member  of  the  house  of  conunons,  lor  attempting  to  deface 
"  her,  which  hap[)enod  thus:  the  said  lidy  being  a  zealous  Inde- 
"  pendent,  and  fond  of  the  saints,  and  Sr  Robert  Harlcy  having 
"lound  thatshe  was  likewise  painted,  he  pretended  that  she  came 
"within  his  ordinance  against  idolatry,  saints  painted,  crosses, 
'&c. ;  hut  some  friends  of  the  said  door  keeper  urging  in  her 
"  behalf,  that  none  did  ever  yet  attempt  to  adore  her,  or  worship 
"  her,  she  was  justified,  and  the  house  hereupon  declared,  that 
"  if  any  person,  by  virtue  of  any  power  whatsoever,  pretended 
'  to  be  derived  from  the  house  of  commons,  or  any  other  court, 
''shall  go  about  to  impeach,  hinder,  or  disturb  any  lady  from 
'painting,  wcrsuipping,  or  adorning  herself  to  the  best  advau 
"  tage,  as''also  from  planting  of  hairs,  or  investing  of  teeth,"  Sec, 
tc.  Another  order  in  this  mock  parliament  was,  that  they  send 
a  messenger  to  the  assembly  of  divines,  to  inqu're  what  is  meant 
by  the  words  due  benevolence. 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  213 

Amen,  qiiotli  slie,  tlien  tiirn'd  about, 
And  bid  her  squire  let  him  out.  OOC 

But  ere  an  artist  could  bu  found 
T'  undo  tiic  clianns  another  bound. 
The  sun  grew  low  and  left  the  skies, 
Put  down,  some  write,  by  ladies'  eyes. 
The  moon  pnll'd  olF  her  veil  of  light,*  J05 

That's  hides  her  face  by  day  from  sight. 
Mysterious  veil,  of  brightness  made, 
That's  both  her  lustre  and  her  shade,t 
And  in  the  nigiit  as  freely  shone. 
As  if  her  rays  had  been  her  own  :  910 

For  darkness  is  llie  proper  sphere 
Where  all  false  glories  use  t'  appear. 
The  twinkling  stars  began  to  imistre. 
And  glitter  with  their  borrow'd  lustre, 
While  sleep  the  weary 'd  world  relicv'd,  915 

By  counterfeiting  death  reviv'd.t 
Onr  vot'ry  thought  it  best  t'  adjourn 
His  whipping  penance  till  the  morn. 
And  not  to  carry  on  a  work 


*  This,  and  the  eleven  following  lines,  are  very  just  and 
beautiCul. 

t  The  rays  of  the  sun  obscure  the  moon  by  day,  and  enlifrhten 
it  by  night.  Tliis  passage  is  extremely  beautil'ul  and  poetica-l, 
showing,  among  many  others,  Mr.  Butler's  powers  in  serious 
poetry,  if  he  had  chosen  tliat  path. 

t  There  is  a  beautiful  modern  epigram,  which  I  do  not  cor- 
rectly remember,  or  know  where  to  find.    Jt  runs  nearly  thus  : 

Somne  levis,  quanquam  cortissima  mortis  imago, 

Consortem  cupio  te  tamen  esse  tori. 
Alma  quies  optata  veni.  nam  sic  sine  vita 

Vivere  quam  suave  est,  sic  sine  morte  mori. 

Sttcoj  Ta  niKoii  tov  Qavdrov  jiv^i'ipia. 

Gnomici  I'oeta*,  915,  243. 

AtheniT.  1.  x.  p.  449. 

CtV3J  Tl(<PvKt  Oti^iaTOi  Cli)Tt]pla. 

Brunck.  Analect.  2-13. 

This  canto  in  general  is  >'.'.'mitablefor wit  and  pleasantry;  the 
character  of  Ihulihras  is  well  preserved  ;  his  manner  of  ad<lress 
appears  to  be  natural,  and  at  the  same  time  has  strong  marks  of 
singularity.  Towards  the  concliisinn.  indeed,  the  conversation 
becomes  obscene  ;  but.  excepting  this  blemish,  I  think  the  whole 
canto  by  no  means  inferior  to  any  part  of  the  performance.  'I'ha 
critic  will  remark  how  e.xact  our  poet  is  in  observing  times  and 
seasons  ;  he  describes  morning  and  ev.ining,  and  one  day  only  is 
passed  since  the  opening  of  the  poem. 


214  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  n 

Of  such  importance,  in  the  dark,  030 

With  erriiijr  haste,  but  rather  slay, 
And  do't  i'  ih'  open  face  of  day  ; 
And  in  the  mean  time  go  in  quest 
Of  uoxt  retreat,  to  take  his  wei 


PART  II      CANTO  11. 

THE   ARGUMENT. 

The  Kiiiglit  and  Squire  in  hot  dispute^ 

Within  an  ace  of  fulling  ont, 

Are  parted  with  a  sudden  fright 

Of  strange  alarm,  and  stranger  sight  J 

With  which  adventuring  to  stickle, 

They're  sent  away  iu  nasty  picklH. 


HUDIBR  AS. 


CANTO  II. 

'Tis  strange  liow  some  men's  tempers  suit, 

Like  bawd  and  brandy,  with  dispnte,* 

That  for  their  own  opinions  stand  fast, 

Only  to  have  them  claw'd  and  canvast. 

That  keep  their  consciences  in  eases,t  S 

As  fiddlers  do  their  crowds  and  bases,! 

Ne'er  to  be  ns"d  but  when  they're  bent 

To  play  a  fit  for  argument.^ 

Make  true  and  false,  unjust  and  just. 

Of  no  use  but  to  be  discust ;  1" 

Dispute  and  set  a  paradox. 

Like  a  straight  boot,  upon  the  stocks. 

And  stretch  it  more  unmercifully, 

Than  Helmont,  Montaigne,  White,  or  Tully,|l 

*  That  is,  how  some  men  love  disputing,  as  a  bawd  loves 
brandy. 

t  A  pun,  or  jeu  de  mots,  on  cases  of  conscience. 

i  Thrtt  is,  their  fiddles  and  violoncellos. 

^  The  old  phrase  was,  to  play  a  fit  of  mirth :  the  word  fit  often 
occurs  in  ancient  ballads,  and  metrical  romances:  it  is  generally 
applied  to  music,  and  signifies  a  division  or  part,  for  the  conve- 
nience of  the  performers ;  thus  in  the  old  poem  of  John  the 
Reeve,  the  first  part  ends  with  this  line, 

The  first  fitt  here  find  we; 
arterwards  it  signified  the  whole  part  or  division :  thus  Chancei 
Concludes  the  rhyme  of  Sir  Thopas  : 

IjO  !  lordes  min,  here  is  a  fit ; 
If  ye  will  any  more  of  it, 
To  tell  it  woU  I  fond. 

The  learned  and  ingenious  bishop  of  Dromorc,  (Dr.  Percy,) 
thinks  the  word  fit  originally  signified  a  poetic  strain,  verse,  OT 
poem. 

|l  Men  are  too  apt  to  subtilize  when  tliey  labor  m  defence  of 
a  favorite  sect  or  system.  Van  Helmont  was  an  eminent  phy- 
sician and  naturalist,  a  vi'arm  opposer  of  the  principles  of  Aris- 
totle and  Galen,  and  iinreMS(mahlv  attached  to  chemistry  He 
was  born  at  lirussels,  in  1.588,  and  died  mH.  Michael  de  Mon 
talgnc  was  born  at  Perigord,  of  a  good  family,  1533,  died  1592 


Canto  ii.]  ilUDIBRAS.  217 

So  th'  ancient  Stoics  in  tlie  porch,  15 

Witli  fierce  dispute  niaintain'd  their  church, 

Beat  out  tiicir  brains  in  fight  and  study, 

To  prove  that  virtue  is  a  body,* 

That  boiium  is  au  animal. 

Made  good  with  stout  polemic  brawl :  20 

In  which  some  hundreds  on  the  place 


lie  was  fancifully  educated  by  his  father,  waked  every  morning 
with  instrtiiiieiits  of  irusic,  taught  Latin  by  >'onversalion,  and 
(Jreekas  an  niiiiiscnienl.  Ills  paradoxes  related  only  toconiinon 
life;  lor  lie  had  little  depth  of  learning.  His  essays  contain 
alMindance  of  whimsical  reflections  on  matters  of  ordinary  oc- 
currence, csjietiallynpon  hisown  teniporand  qualities.  He  was 
counsellor  in  the  parliament  of  Bourdeaux,  and  mayor  of  the 
same  place.  Thomas  White  was  .«econd  son  of  Richard  White, 
of  Essex,  esiiuire,  by  Mary  his  wife,  daughter  of  Ednnind  Plow- 
den,  the  great  lawyer,  in  the  reign  of  Elizabeth.  He  was  a 
zealous  champion  for  the  church  of  Rome  and  the  Aristotelian 
philosophy.  He  wrote  against  Joseph  Glanville,  who  printed  at 
London,  HiCo,  a  book  entitled,  Scepsis  Scientifica,  or  Confessed 
Ignorance  the  Way  to  Science.  Mr.  While's  answer,  which  de- 
fended Aristotle  and  his  disciples,  was  entitled.  Scire,  sive  Scep- 
tices  et  Scepticorum  a  jure  Disputationis  exclusio.  This  pro- 
duced a  reply  from  Glanville,  under  the  title  of,  Scire,  tuuni  ni- 
hil est.  While  piiblislic<l  several  books  with  the  signatures  of 
Thomas  Albius,  or  Thomas  Anglus  ex  Albiis.  His  Dialogues 
(le  Mundo,  bear  date  UU-i.  and  are  signed,  autnre  Thoma  Anglo 
e  gcncrosa  Albiorum  in  oriente  Trinobantum  prosapid  oriunrlo. 
He  embraced  the  opinions  of  Sir  Kenelm  Digliy.  For  Tullij 
some  editions  read  lyiiL'y.  Raymond  Lully  was  a  Majorcan, 
born  in  the  thirteenth  century.  He  is  said  to  have  been  extreme- 
ly dissolute  in  liis  youth ;  to  have  turned  sober  at  forty ;  in  his 
old  age  to  have  preached  the  gospel  to  the  Saracens,  and  suffered 
martyrdom,  anno  131.i.  As  to  his  paradoxes,  prodiit,  says  San- 
derson, e  media  barbarie  vir  magna  professus,  R.  Lullus,  qui 
onus  logicum  quam  specioso  titulo  insignivit,  artem  magnam 
rommentus:  cujus  ope  pollicetur  trimestri  spalio  hominem, 
quamvis  vel  ip?a  literarum  elementa  nescientem,  totam  encyclo- 
pa.-diam  perdocere  ;  idque  per  circulos  et  triangulos,  et  lilcras  al- 
phabet! sursum  versum  revolutas.  There  is  a  summary  of  his 
scheme  in  Gassendus  de  Usu  Logicte,  c  8;  Aisled  Encyclop. 
torn.  iv.  sect.  17.  He  is  frequently  mentioned  in  lUitler's  Re- 
mains, see  vol.  i.  131,  and  in  the  character  of  an  hermetic  phi- 
losopher, vol.  ii.  pp.  23'2,  247-251.  But  I  have  retained  the  word 
Tully  with  the  author's  corrected  edition.  Mr.  Butler  alluded, 
I  sui)pose,  to  Cicero's  Stoicorum  I'aradoxa,  in  which,  merely  for 
the  exercise  of  his  wit,  and  to  amuse  himself  and  his  friends, 
Vie  has  ijndertaken  to  defend  some  of  the  most  extravagant  doc- 
trines of  the  porch  :  Ego  vero  ilia  ipsa,  qua;  vix  in  gymnasiis  et 
in  otio  stoici  probant,  ludens  cnnjeci  in  communes  locos. 

*  'J'he  stoics  allowed  of  no  incorporeal  substance,  no  medium 
between  body  and  nothing.  With  them  accidents  and  qualities, 
virtues  and  vices,  the  passions  of  the  mind,  and  every  thing  else, 
was  body.  Aniinam  constat  animal  esse,  cum  ipsa  efficiat  ut 
simus  animalia.  Virtus  autem  nihil  aliud  esKinani  animus  tai- 
Iter  se  habens.  Ergo  animal  est.  ?ec  also  Seneca,  epistle  113, 
and  Plutarch  on  cfuperstliion  sub  initio. 


218  HUDIBRAS  rPARTH 

Were  slain  outriglit,*  and  many  a  face 

Rctrencli'd  of  nose,  and  eyes,  and  beard, 

To  maintain  what  their  sect  averr'd. 

All  which  the  knight  and  squire  in  wrath,  2.1 

Had  like  t'  have  suffur'd  for  their  faith  ; 

Each  striving  to  make  good  his  own, 

As  by  the  sequel  shall  be  shown. 

The  sun  had  long  since,  in  the  lap 
Of  Thetis,  taken  out  his  nap,  30 

And  like  a  lobster  boiPd,  the  morn 
From  black  to  red  began  to  turn  ;t 
When  Iludibras,  whom  thoughts  and  aching 
'Twixt  sleeping  kept  all  night  and  waking, 
Began  to  rouse  i)is  drowsy  eyes,  36 

And  from  his  couch  prepard  to  rise  ; 
Resolving  to  dispatch  the  deed 
He  vow'd  to  do  with  trusty  speed : 
But  first,  with  knocking  loud  and  bawling, 


*  We  meet  with  the  same  account  in  the  Remains,  vol.  ii. 
242.  "This  had  been  an  excellent  course  for  the  old  round- 
"  headed  stoics  to  find  out  whether  bonuni  was  CDrpus,  or  virtue 
"an  anin-.al;  about  whijh  they  had  so  many  fierce  encounters 
"  in  their  stoa,  that  about  1400  lost  their  lives  on  the  place,  and 
"  far  many  more  their  beards,  and  teeth,  and  noses."  The  Gre- 
cian history,  I  believe,  does  not  countenance  these  remarks. 
Diogenes  Laertius,  in  his  life  of  Zeno,  book  vii.  sect.  5,  says,  that 
this  philosopher  read  his  lectures  in  the  stoa  or  portico,  and 
hopes  the  place  would  be  no  more  violated  by  civil  seditions: 
fi)r,  adds  he,  when  the  thirty  tyrants  governed  the  republic,  1400 
citizens  were  killed  there.  Making  no  mention  of  a  philosophi- 
cal brawl,  but  speaking  of  a  series  of  civil  executions,  which 
took  place  in  the  ninety-fourth  olympiad,  at  least  a  hundred 
years  before  the  foundation  of  the  stoical  school.  In  the  old  an- 
notations, Ihe  words  of  Laertius  are  cited  dilferently.  "  In  por- 
"  ticu  (stoicorum  schola  Athenis)  discipuloruin  seditionibus, 
"mille  quadringenti  iriginta  cives  interfecti  sunt."  But  from 
whence  the  words  "  discipulorum  seditionibus"  were  picked  up, 
1  know  not:  unless  from  the  old  version  of  Ambrosius  of  Carnal- 
doli.  There  is  nothing  to  answer  them  in  the  Greek,  nor  do  they 
appear  in  the  translations  of  ,\ldobrandus  or  Moibomius.  Xen- 
ophon  observes,  that  more  persons  were  destroyed  by  the  tyran- 
ny of  the  thirty,  than  had  been  slain  by  the  enemy  in  eight  en- 
tire years  of  the  Peloponnesian  war.  Both  Isocrates  and  ^I's- 
chines  make  the  number  fifteen  hundred.  Seneca  De  Tranquil, 
thirteen  hundred.  Lysias  reports,  that  three  hundred  were  con- 
demned by  one  sentence.  Laertius  is  the  only  writer  that  rep- 
resents the  portico  as  the  scene  of  their  suflcrings.  This,  il 
is  true,  stood  in  the  centre  of  Athens,  in  or  near  the  forum. 
Perhaps,  also,  it  might  not  be  far  from  the  desmoterion,  oi 
prison. 

t  Sir.  M.  Bacon  says,  th'.s  simile  is  taken  from  Rabelais,  who 
Mils  the  lobster  cardinalized,  from  the  red  habit  assumed  by  th« 
eleigy  of  that  rank. 


ANTo  II.]  IIUDIBRAS.  210 

IIo  rous'd  llie  squire,  in  truckle  lolling  ;*  40 

And  after  many  circumstances, 

Wiiich  vulgar  authors  in  romances, 

Do  use  to  spend  their  time  and  wits  on. 

To  make  impertinent  description, 

They  got,  with  much  ado,  to  horse,  49 

And  to  the  castle  bent  their  course, 

In  «  hii'h  he  to  tiie  dame  before 

To  suffer  wiiipping-duty  swore  :t 

Where  now  arriv'd,  and  half  unharnest, 

To  carry  on  the  work  in  earnest,  30 

He  sto]jp'd  and  paus'd  upon  tlie  sudden. 

And  with  a  serious  forehead  plodding. 

Sprung  a  new  scru[)le  in  his  head, 

Which  first  he  scratch'd,  and  after  said  ; 

Whether  it  be  direct  infringing  53 

An  oath,  if  I  should  wave  this  swinging,! 

And  what  I've  sworn  to  bear,  forbear, 

And  so  b'  equivocation  swear  ;§ 

Or  whether  't  be  a  lesser  sia 

To  be  forsworn,  than  act  the  thing,  (0 

Are  deep  and  subtle  points,  which  must, 

T'  inform  my  conscience,  be  discust ; 

In  which  to  err  a  little,  may 

To  errors  infinite  make  way  : 

And  therefore  I  desire  to  know  OS 

Tiiy  jufigment.  ore  we  farther  go. 

Quoth  Ralp'uo,  Since  you  do  iiijoin't, 
I  shall  enlarge  upon  the  point; 
And,  for  my  own  part,  do  not  doubt 
Th'  affirmative  may  be  made  out.  10 

But  first,  to  state  the  case  aright, 
For  best  advantage  of  our  ligiit ; 
And  thus  'tis,  whether  't  be  a  sin. 
To  claw  and  curry  our  own  skin. 
Greater  or  less  than  to  forbear,  75 

And  that  you  are  forsworn  forswear. 


*  See  Don  Quixote,  Part  ii.  ch.  20.     A  trnckle-bed  is  a  little 
lied  on  wheel?,  which  runs  nnder  a  larger  bed. 

t  In  some  ot  the  early  editions,  it  is  duly  swore,  the  sense  being 
.n  which  he  heCore  swore  to  the  datne  to  suffer  Vvhipping  duly, 

t  From  the  Anjtio-Saxon  word  svvingan,  to  beat,  or  wliip. 

^  Tlie  equivocations  and  mental  reservations  of  tlie  Jesuits 
were  loudly  complained  of,  and  by  none  more  than  by  the  sec- 
taries. When  these  last  came  into  power,  the  royalists  had  too 
often  ,Tn  opportunity  of  bringing  tlie  same  charge  against  tkem 
Bee  Sanderson  De  Jur.  Oblig.  pr.  ii.  55,  11. 
19 


220  HUDIBRAS.  fPAkr  n 

But  first,  o'  th'  first :  The  inward  man, 

And  outward,  like  a  clan  and  clan, 

Have  always  been  at  dajrgers-drawing 

And  one  another  clapper-clawing:*  M 

Not  that  they  really  cuff  or  fence, 

But  in  a  spiritual  rnystic  sense  ; 

Which  to  mistak;;,  and  make  them  squabble, 

In  literal  fray's  abominable  ; 

'Tis  heathenish,  in  frequent  use,  65 

^^ith  pagans  and  apostate  jews. 

To  offer  .sacrifice  of  bridewells,t 

Like  modern  Indians  to  their  idols  ,1 

And  mongrel  Christians  of  our  times, 

That  expiate  less  with  greater  crimes,  80 

And  call  the  foul  abomination. 

Contrition  and  mortification. 

Is't  not  enough  we're  bruis'd  and  kicked, 

By  sinful  members  of  the  wicked  ; 

Our  vessels,  that  are  sanctify'd,  95 

Profan'd,  and  curry'd  back  and  side  ; 

But  we  must  claw  ourselves  with  shameful 

And  heathen  stripes,  by  their  example? 

Which,  were  there  nothuig  to  forbid  it, 

Is  impious,  because  they  did  it:  100 

This  therefore  may  be  justly  reckon'd 

A  heinous  sin.     Mow  to  the  second  ; 

That  saints  may  claim  a  dispensation 

To  swear  and  forswear  on  occasion, 

I  doubt  noi ;  but  it  will  appear  105 

With  pregnant  light:  the  point  is  clear, 

Oaths  are  but  words,  and  words  but  wind, 

Too  feeble  implements  to  bind  ; 

And  hold  with  deeds  proportion,  so 

As  shadows  to  a  substance  do.§  110 

Then  when  they  strive  for  i)lace,  'lis  fit 

The  weaker  vessel  should  submit. 

AlthouLih  your  church  be  oi)posite 

To  ours,  as  Black  Friars  are  to  White, 


*  The  clans  or  tribes  of  the  Highlanders  of  Scotland,  have 
Bometiines  kept  up  an  hereditary  piosecution  of  their  quarre  s 
lor  manv  generalii.ns.  The  doctrine  wlneh  the  Independents 
and  other  sectaries  held,  concerning'  the  inward  and  outward 
man  is  frequently  alluded  to,  and  frequently  explained,  in  these 


Dotes 


Vw  hipping,  the  punishment  usually  inflicted  iu  houses  of 
torrectioji.  ,  ,,.         . 

$  That  is.  the  fakirs,  dervises,  bonzes,  of  the  east. 
§  UjfUt  ijiyuv  oKid,  was  an  aphorism  ol  Demociitus 


Cakto  II.  I  IIUDIBRAS  29| 

In  rule  and  order,  yet  I  prant  114 

V'oii  arc  a  refoniiado  saint  ;* 

And  what  the  saints  do  claim  as  due, 

Yon  may  jM-etend  a  title  to : 

But  saints,  whom  oaths  or  vows  oblige, 

Know  little  of  their  privilege  ;  120 

Farther,  I  mean,  than  carrying  on 

Some  self-advantage  of  their  own: 

For  if  the  devil,  to  serve  his  turn, 

Can  tell  truth  ;  why  the  saints  should  scorn, 

When  it  serves  theirs,  to  swear  and  lie,  125 

1  think  there's  little  reason  why: 

Else  h'  has  a  greater  power  than  they. 

Which  'twere  im])iety  to  say. 

We're  not  conunanded  to  forbear. 

Indefinitely,  at  all  to  swear;  130 

But  to  swear  idly,  and  in  vain. 

Without  self-interest  or  gain. 

For  breaking  of  an  oath  and  lying. 

Is  but  a  kind  of  self-denying, 

A  saint-like  virtue  ;  and  from  hence  3.1 

Some  have  broke  oaths  by  providence  : 

Some,  to  the  glory  of  the  Lord, 

Perjur'd  themselves,  and  broke  their  word  :1 

And  this  the  constant  rule  and  practice 

Of  all  our  late  airostles'  acts  is.  liO 

W^as  not  the  cause  at  first  begun 

With  perjury,  and  carried  on? 

Was  there  an  oath  the  godly  took. 

But  in  due  time  and  place  they  broke  ? 


*  That  is,  a  saint  volunteer,  as  being  a  Prc«tjyterian,  for  the 
Independents  were  the  saints  in  |);\y.    See  V.  iii.  c.  ii.  1.  91. 

t  Dr.  Owen  had  a  wonderful  linacl<  of  attrihutinfi  all  the  pro- 
ceedings of  his  own  pnrty  to  the  direction  of  the  spirit.  "The 
"  rebel  army,"  says  Scjuth,  "  in  their  several  trealings  with  the 
'*  king,  being  asked  by  him  whether  they  would  stand  to  such 
"ardsuch  agreements  and  promises,  still  answered,  that  ihey 
"would  do  as  the  spirit  should  direct  them.  Wliereupon  that 
"  blessed  prince  would  frc(]nenily  condole  his  hard  fate,  that  he 
"  had  to  do  with  persons  to  whom  the  spirit  dictated  one  thing 
"one  day,  and  commanded  the  clean  contrary  the  ne.xt."  So 
the  liistiiry  of  independency  :  when  it  was  first  moved  in  the 
house  of  commons  to  proceed  capil-illy  against  the  king,  ("roni- 
well  stood  up,  and  told  them,  that  if  any  man  moved  this  with 
design,  he  should  think  him  the  greatest  traitor  in  the  world; 
nut,  since  providence  and  necessity  had  cast  them  upon  it,  he 
should  pray  God  to  bless  their  counsels.  Harrison,  Caj-ew,  and 
others,  when  tried  for  the  part  they  took  in  the  king's  deatlt, 
professed  they  had  acted  out  of  conscience  to  the  Lord. 


223  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  ii 

Did  we  not  bring  our  oatiis  in  first,  I4J 

Before  our  plate,  to  iiave  tlu-m  burst. 

And  cast  in  filter  models,  for 

The  present  use  of  cliurcli  and  war? 

Did  not  our  wortiiies  of  the  house. 

Before  they  broke  the  peace,  break  vows?  iSO 

For  having  freed  us  first  from  both 

Th'  aiieg'ance  and  suprem'cy  oath  ;* 

Did  they  not  next  compel  the  nation 

To  take,  and  break  the  protestation  ?t 

To  swear,  and  after  to  recant,  iSS 

The  solemn  league  and  covenant  ?t 

To  take  th'  engagement,  and  disclaim  it,^ 

Enforc'd  by  those  who  first  did  frame  it  ? 

Did  they  not  swear,  at  first,  to  fight|| 

*  Though  thev  (lid  not  in  forniul  and  express  terms  al)rogate 
lliese  oiilhs  till  iifter  the  king's  ile:ith,  yet  in  ctlecl  they  vaciitcd 
and  annulled  them,  by  aihiiinistering  the  king's  power,  and  sub 
stituting  otlier  oaths,  protesttuions,  and  covenants.  Of  lliese  last 
it  is  said  in  the  Icon  Uasilike,  whoever  was  the  author  of  it, 
"  Every  man  soon  grows  his  own  pope,  and  easily  absolves  him- 
"  self  from  those  ties,  which  not  the  command  of  God's  word,  or 
"  the  laws  of  the  land,  but  only  the  subtilty  and  terror  of  a  party 
"  cast  upon  them.  Either  snpertiuous  and  vain,  when  they  are 
■'suiriciently  tied  before;  or  fraudulent  and  injurious,  if  by  such 
■'after  ligaments  they  find  the  impostors  really  aiming  to  dissolve 
"  or  suspend  their  former  jusi  and  necessary  olilijralions." 

t  In  the  protestation  they  promised  todelund  the  true  reformed 
religion,  expressed  in  the  doctrine  of  the  Church  of  England  ; 
which  yet  in  the  covenant,  not  long  after,  they  as  religiously 
vowed  to  change. 

i  And  to  recant  is  hut  to  cant  again,  says  Sir  Robert  L'Estrange. 
In  the  soleum  league  and  covenant,  (called  a  le«guc,  because  it 
was  to  be  a  bond  of  amity  and  confederation  between  the  king- 
doms of  England  and  Scotland;  and  a  covenant,  because  they 
pretended  to  make  a  covenant  with  God,)  they  swore  to  delend 
the  person  and  authority  of  the  king,  and  cause  the  world  to  be- 
hold their  fidelity;  and  thai  they  would  not,  in  the  least,  dimin- 
ish his  just  power  and  greatness.  The  Presbyterians,  who  in 
some  instances  stuck  to  Ihe  covenant,  contrived  an  evasion  for 
this  part  of  it,  viz. :  that  they  had  sworn  to  defend  the  person 
andaulhority  of  the  king  in  support  of  reliuion  and  public  liberty. 
Now,  said  they,  we  firul  that  the  defence  o(  Ihe  person  and  au- 
thority of  "le  kin!.'  is  incompatible  with  the  support  of  religion 
and  libertv,  and  therefore,  for  Ihe  sake  of  religion  anil  liberty, 
we  are  bound  to  oppose  and  ruin  the  king.  Hut  the  Independ- 
ents, who  were  at  last  the  prevailing  parly,  utterly  renounced  Ihe 
covenant.  Mr.  (ioodwin.  one  of  their  most  eminent  preachers, 
asserted,  that  to  violate  this  abominable  and  cursed  oath,  out  of 
conscience  to  God.  was  a  holy  and  blessed  perjury. 

(J  Alter  the  death  (dihe  king  a  new  oath  was  prepared,  which 
they  called  the  Engagement;  Ihe  form  whereof  was.  lliat  every 
Hiin  should  engage  and  swear  to  be  true  and  faithful  to  the  gov 
>rnnient  then  established. 

II  Croir.well,  though  'n  general  a  hypocrite,  was  very  sinceie 


Canto  11.]  IIUDIBllAS  223 

For  llio  king's  safety,  and  liis  ri^lit?  IGC 

And  aftiT  murcird  to  find  liiin  oi;l. 

And  cliarjr'd  liini  lioiiio  with  lior^c  and  foot " 

And  yet  still  had  the  couliiienco 

To  swear  it  was  in  liis  di'fenco? 

Did  tliey  not  swear  to  live  and  die  165 

With  Essex,  and  straiglit  laid  liim  by?* 

If  that  were  all,  for  some  have  swore 

As  false  as  they,  if  th'  did  no  morc.t 

Did  Ihcy  not  swear  to  maintain  law, 

In  which  that  swearing  made  a  flaw  ?  17C 

For  protestant  religion  vow, 

That  did  that  vowing  disallow  ? 

For  privilege  of  parliament, 

In  which  that  swearing  made  a  rent  1 

And  since,  of  all  the  three,  not  one  73 

Is  left  in  being,  'tis  well  known.! 

Did  they  not  swear,  in  express  words, 

To  prop  and  buck  the  lioiise  of  lords  ?§ 


ivhen  he  first  mustered  his  trnop,  and  declared  that  he  wonld 
not  deceive  thciii  \>y  perplexed  or  involved  expressions,  in  his 
commission,  lo  liglit  for  l\ing  and  parliament;  but  he  would  as 
.soon  discharge  his  pistol  upon  the  king  as  upon  any  other  person. 

*  When  Ilie  i)arliaincnt  first  took  up  arms,  and  the  carl  of 
Essex  was  chosen  general,  several  incjnbers  of  tlie  house  stood 
up  and  declared  that  they  would  live  and  die  with  the  carl  of 
Kssex.  This  was  afterwards  the  usual  style  of  addresses  to  par- 
liament, and  of  their  resolutions.  Essex  continued  in  great 
esteem  with  the  party  till  September,  1C44,  when  he  was  de- 
feated by  the  king,  in  Cornwall.  Hut  the  principal  occasion  of 
his  being  laid  aside  was  the  subtle  practice  of  Cromwell,  who 
in  a  speech  to  the  house  had  thrown  out  some  obli(iue  reflections 
on  the  second  light  near  Newbcry,  and  the  loss  of  Donington 
castle;  and,  fearing  the  resentment  of  Essex,  contrived  to  pass 
the  self-denying  ordinance,  whereby  Essex,  as  general,  and  most 
of  the  Presbyterians  in  office,  were  removed.  The  I'rcsbyteriana 
in  the  house  were  superior  in  number,  and  thought  of  new- 
inodellini;  tlic  army  again  ;  but  in  the  mean  time  the  earl  died. 

t  Essex,  It  was  loudly  said  by  many  of  his  friends,  was  poi 
soned.     Clarendon's  History,  vol.  iii.  b.  10. 

t  Namely,  law,  religion,  and  privilege  of  parliament. 

§  When  the  army  began  to  present  criminal  information 
against  the  king,  in  order  lo  keej)  the  lords  quiet,  who  might 
well  be  supposed  to  be  in  fear  for  their  own  privileges  and 
honors,  a  message  was  sent  to  them  promising  to  maintain  theit 
privileges  of  peerage,  &,c.  But  as  soon  as  the  king  was  behead- 
ed, the  lords  were  discarded  and  turned  out.  February  the  first, 
'.wo  days  after  the  king's  death,  when  the  lords  sent  a  message 
to  the  coiiunons  for  a  conunittee  to  consider  the  way  of  settling 
the  nation ;  the  conunons  made  an  order  to  consider  on  the  mor 
row  whether  the  messenger  should  be  called  in,  and  whevlier 
the  house  should  lake  any  cognizance  Ihe/cof  Fcliruarv  the 
6flh  the  lords  sent  again,  but  Uielr  messengers  were  nfil  called 


2ij4  IIUDIBUAS.  [I'ART  ii 

Ana  after  turn'd  out  the  whole  house-full 

Of  peers,  as  duii<r"rous  and  uuuseful.  18« 

So  Cromwell,  wiili  deep  oatlis  and  vows, 

Swore  all  the  coiiiinoiis  out  o'  th'  house  ;* 

Vow"d  that  the  red-coals  would  disband, 

Ay,  marry  wou'd  they,  at  their  cominaud  ; 

And  troii'd  them  on,  and  swore  and  swore,  185 

Till  th'  army  turn'd  them  out  of  door. 

This  tells  us  plainly  what  they  though', 

That  oaths  and  swearing  go  for  nought  ; 

And  that  by  them  th'  were  only  meant 

To  serve  for  an  expedient.  I"  106 

What  was  the  public  faith  found  out  for,1 

But  to  slur  men  of  what  they  fought  for? 

The  public  faith,  which  ev'ry  one 

Is  bound  t'  observe,  yet  kept  by  none  : 

And  if  that  go  for  nothing,  why  195 

Should  private  faith  have  such  a  tie  ? 


in  :  and  it  was  debated,  by  the  commons,  whether  the  huuse  of 
lords  shouhl  be  continued  ii  court  (if  judicrtture  ;  and  the  next 
Jay  it  was  resolved  by  them,  that  Ibe  house  of  peers  in  parlia 
raent  was  useless,  and  ought  to  be  alM)lishe<l.     VVhilelock. 

*  Alter  the  king's  party  was  utterly  overthrown.  Cromwell, 
who  all  along,  as  it  is  supposed,  aimed  at  the  supreme  power, 
persuaded  the  parliament  to  send  part  of  their  army  into  Ireland, 
and  U>  disband  the  rest :  which  the  I'resbylerians  in  the  house 
were  forward  to  do.  This,  as  he  knew  it  would,  set  the  army  in 
H  mutiny,  which  he  and  the  rest  of  the  commanders  made  show 
lo  take  indignation  at.  And  Cromwell,  to  make  the  parliament 
secure,  called  God  to  witness,  that  he  was  sure  the  army  would, 
at  their  first  conunand,  cast  their  arms  at  their  feet ;  and  again 
solenmly  swore,  that  he  had  rather  himself  and  his  whole  fam- 
ily should  be  consumed,  than  that  the  army  should  break  out 
into  sedition.  Yet  in  the  mean  time  he  blew  up  the  flame  ;  anil 
petting  leave  to  go  down  to  the  army  to  quiet  them,  iu)mediately 
joined  with  them  in  all  their  designs.  By  which  arts  he  so 
strengthened  his  interest  in  the  army,  and  incensed  them  against 
the  parliament,  that  with  the  help  of  the  red-coats  he  turned 
them  all  out  of  doors.     Bites  Elench.  Mot.  and  others. 

t  Expedient  sv»s  a  term  r)ften  used  by  the  sectaries.  When 
the  members  of  the  council  of  slate  engaged  to  approve  of  what 
should  be  done  by  the  conunons  iu  parliament  for  the  future,  it 
was  ordered  to  draw  up  an  expedient  for  the  members  to  sub- 
scribe. 

J  It  was  usual  to  pledge  the  public  faith,  as  they  called  it,  by 
which  they  meant  the  credit  of  parliament,  or  their  own  prom- 
ises, for  numeys  borrowed,  and  many  times  never  repaid.  A  re- 
.liarkable  answer  was  given  to  the  citizens  of  Lr)ndon  on  some 
occasion:  "in  truth  the  subjects  may  plead  the  properly  of  their 
"goods  against  the  king,  but  not  against  the  parliament,  lo  whom 
'it  appertains  to  dispose  of  all  the  goods  of  the  kingdom."  Their 
own  partisans,  Milton  and  Lilly,  complain  of  not  being  repaid 
(he  moiey  they  had  laid  out  to  sujiport  the  cause. 


Canto  ii.J  HLDIBRAS.  oQfi 

Oaths  were  not  purj)os'el  inoro  tlian  law, 

To  keep  tlie  good  and  just  in  awe,» 

But  to  conline  the  bud  and  sinful, 

Like  rnorlal  cattle  in  a  pinfold.  200 

A  saint's  of  th'  lieav'nly  realm  a  peer  ; 

And  as  no  jjeer  is  bound  to  swear, 

But  on  the  gospel  of  Ills  honour. 

Of  which  he  may  dispose  as  owner, 

It  follows,  tho'  the  thing  be  forgery,  20S 

And  false,  th'  affirm  it  is  no  perjury, 

But  a  mere  ceremony,  and  a  breach 

Of  nothing,  but  a  form  of  speech, 

And  goes  for  no  more  when  'tis  took, 

Than  mere  saluting  of  the  booK.  210 

Suppose  the  Scriptures  are  of  force, 

They're  but  commissions  of  course,t 

And  saints  have  freedom  to  digress. 

And  vary  from  'em  as  they  please  ; 

Or  misinterpret  them  by  private  213 

Instructions,  to  all  aims  they  drive  at. 

Then  why  sliould  we  ourselves  abridge. 

And  curtail  our  own  privilege  ? 

Quakers,  that  like  to  lanthorns,  bear 

Their  light  within  them,  will  not  swear  ;  220 

Their  gospel  is  an  accidence, 

By  which  they  construe  conscience,! 

And  hold  no  sin  so  deeply  red. 

As  that  of  breaking  Priscian's  head.§ 

Tlie  head  and  founder  of  their  order,  22."» 

That  stirring  hats  held  worse  than  murder  ;|| 


*  "Knowing  tliis,  that  the  law  is  nnl  made  for  a  righteous 
"man,  but  Ibr  the  lawless  and  disotiedient."     1  Timothy  i.  9. 

t  A  satire  on  the  liberty  the  parliament  ofiii-ers  took  of  vary- 
ing frcini  their  cniiimissions.  on  pretence  of  private  instructions. 

i  Tliat  i-f,  they,  the  Uuakcrs,  interpret  scripture  altogether 
literal,  and  make  a  point  of  conscience  of  u-^ing  the  wrong  num- 
ber in  grammar:  or,  it  may  mean  that  grammar  is  their  scripture, 
by  which  they  interpret  right  or  wrong,  lawful  or  unlawful. 

^  I'riscian  was  a  great  grammarian  about  the  year  S'iS,  .ind 
when  any  one  spoke  false  grammar,  he  was  said  to  break  Pris- 
cian's head.  The  Quakers,  we  know,  are  great  sticklers  for 
plainness  and  simplicity  of  speech.  Thuii  is  the  singular,  you 
the  plural;  conseiiuently  it  is  breaking  Priscian's  head,  it  is 
false  grammar,  quoth  the  Quaker,  to  use  you  in  the  singular 
number:  George  Fo.x  was  another  Priscian,  witness  his  Batlel- 
d"or. 

II  Some  think  Ihi  t  the  order  of  Quakers,  and  not  Priscian,  Is 
here  meant;  but  then  it  wuiild  be  holds,  not  held:  I  Iherefure 
*m  inclined  to  think  that  the  poet  humorously  supposes  that 
Priscian,  whc  received  so  man"  bluvvs  on  the  head,  was  much 


S26 


IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  n 


930 


The^e  lliinkintr  thoy'rc  oblig'd  to  trotli 

In  swearing,  will  not  take  an  oath  ; 

Like  mules,  who  if  they've  not  the  will 

'lo  keep  tlieir  own  pace,  stand  stock  still  ; 

But  they  are  weak,  and  little  know 

What  free-born  consciences  may  do. 

'Tis  the  temptation  of  Ihe  devil 

That  makes  all  human  actions  evil : 

For  saints  may  do  the  same  things  by  233 

The  spirit,  in  sincerity, 

Which  other  men  arc  tempted  to, 

And  at  the  devil's  instance  do  ; 

And  yet  the  actions  be  contrarj', 

Just  as  the  saints  and  wicked  vary  240 

For  as  on  land  tliere  is  no  beast 

But  in  some  fish  at  sea's  exprest  ;* 

So  in  the  wicked  there's  no  vice. 

Of  which  the  saints  have  not  a  spice  ; 

And  yet  that  thing  that's  pious  in  245 

The  one,  in  tli'  other  is  a  sin.t 

averse  to  fiking  off  his  hat;  and  therefore  calls  him  the  lonndci 
of  (luakerisiii.  This  may  seem  a  far-fetched  conceit ;  but  a 
similar  one  is  employed  hy  Mr.  Butler  on  another  occasion. 
"Yon  may  perceive  the  Quaker  has  a  crack  in  his  skull,"  says 
he.  "by  the  great  care  he  takes  to  keep  his  hat  on.  lest  his  sickly 
"brains,  if  he  have  any,  should  take  cold."  Remains,  ii.  35-J ; 
i.  Sai.  April  2).  IGW,  nearly  at  the  bejiinninf:  of  Quakerism, 
Everard  and  VVinstanlev,  chief  of  the  Levellers,  came  to  the 
peneral,  and  made  a  la'rge  declaration  to  justify  themselves. 
VViiile  they  were  speaking,  they  stood  with  ihiir  hats  on;  and 
lieing  demanded  the  reason,  said,  "he  was  hut  their  fellow- 
"  creature."  "This  is  set  down,"  says  Whitelocke,  "  because  it 
"  was  the  beginning  of  the  appearance  of  this  opinion."  So  ob- 
stinate were  the  Quakers  in  this  point,  that  Barclay  makes  the 
following  declaration  concerning  it:  "  However  small  or  foolish 
"  this  may  seem,  yet,  1  can  say  boldly  in  the  sight  of  God,  we  be- 
"  hooved  to  choose  death  rather  than  do  it,  and  that  for  conscience 
"sake."  There  is  a  slorv  told  of  William  I'enn,  that  being  admit- 
ted to  an  audience  by  Charles  1 1.,  he  did  not  pull  off  his  hat ;  when 
the  king,  as  a  gentle  rebuke  lo  him  for  his  ill  manners,  took  off  his 
own.  On  which  I'enn  said,  "Friend  Charles,  why  dost  not  thou 
"  keep  on  thy  hat  1"  and  the  king  answered,  "  Friend  Penn,  it  is 
"  the  custom  of  this  pUce  that  no  more  than  one  person  be  cov- 
"ered  at  a  time." 
*  Thus  Dubartas : 

So  many  fishes  of  so  many  features. 
That  in  the  waters  we  may  see  all  creatures, 
Even  all  that  on  the  earth  are  lo  be  found. 
As  if  the  world  were  in  deep  waters  drovin'<2. 

But  see  Pir  Thomas  Biown's  Treatise  on  Vulgar  Errors,  b(wl( 
Ql.  chap.  24. 
t  Many  held  the  antinomian  principle,  that  believers,  or  per 


Canto  ii.]  IIUDIBRAS.  237 

Is't  not  ridiculous,  and  nonsense, 

A  saint  sliouid  be  a  slave  to  conscience? 

That  ouijlit  to  bo  above  such  fancicH, 

As  far  as  above  ordinances  ?*  25C 

She's  of  the  wicked,  as  I  guess, 

B'  her  looks,  lier  lanrruage,  and  lier  dress 

And  tho',  hkc  constables,  we  search 

For  false  wares  one  another's  church  ; 

Yet  all  of  us  hold  this  for  true,  255 

No  faith  is  to  the  wicked  due. 

For  trulii  is  precious  and  divine. 

Too  rich  a  pearl  for  carnal  swine. 

Quoth  Iludibras,  All  this  is  true, 
Yet  "tis  not  fit  that  all  men  knew  S60 

Those  mysteries  and  revelations  ; 
And  therefore  topical  evasions 
Of  subtle  turns,  and  shifts  of  sense. 
Serve  best  with  tli'  wicked  for  pretence. 
Such  as  the  learned  Jesuits  use,  265 

And  presbyterians,  for  excuset 


sons  regenerate,  cannot  sin  Though  they  commit  the  same 
acts,  whicli  are  styled  and  arc  sins  in  others,  yet  in  them  they 
are  no  sins.  Because,  say  they,  it  is  not  tlie  nature  of  the  ac- 
tion that  derives  a  quiUity  upon  the  person  ;  but  it  is  the  antece- 
dent qual»'ly  or  condition  of  the  person  that  denominates  his  ac- 
tions, and  stamps  Iheiii  gifd  or  bad :  so  that  they  are  those  only 
who  are  previously  wielded,  thit  do  \vicl<C(l  actions;  but  be- 
lievers, doing  the  very  same  things,  never  connnit  the  same 
sins. 

*  Some  sectaries,  especially  the  Mugglctonians,  thought  them- 
selves so  sure  of  salvation,  tliat  they  deemed  it  needless  to  con 
form  to  ordinances,  human  or  divine. 

t  On  the  subject  of  Jesuitical  evasions  we  may  recite  a  story 
from  Mr.  I'oulis.  He  tells  us  that,  a  little  before  the  death  of 
Queen  Elizibelh,  when  the  Jesuits  were  endeavoring  to  set 
aside  King  .lames,  a  little  book  was  written,  entitled,  a  Treatise 
on  Equivocation,  or,  as  it  ivas  afterwards  styled  by  Garnet,  pro- 
vincial of  the  .Jesuits,  a  Treatise  against  Lying  and  Dissimula- 
tion, which  yet  allows  an  excuse  for  the  most  direct  falsehood, 
by  their  law  of  directing  the  intention.  For  example,  in  time  of 
the  plagtie  a  man  goes  to  Coventry  ;  at  the  gates  he  is  examined 
upon  oath  whether  he  came  from  London:  the  traveller,  though 
he  directly  came  from  thence,  may  swear  positively  that  he  did 
not.  The  reason  is,  because  he  knows  himself  not  infected,  and 
does  not  endnnger  Coventry  ;  which  he  supposes  to  answer  the 
final  intent  of  the  demrind.  At  the  end  of  this  book  is  an  allow- 
ance and  ccnnmendation  of  it  by  Bbickwell,  thus  :  Tractatus  ist» 
valde  doclus  ct  vere  plus  et  catholicus  est.  Certe  sac.  scriptura- 
rum,  pitruiM,  ductorum,  scholasticorum,  canimistarum,  et  opti- 
marum  ralionuin  pntsidiis  pleiiissime  firmat  equitalem  equivo- 
(,ationis.  ideoque  dignissimus  qui  typis  prop  igptur  ad  consolalio- 
netn  afflictorum  ciitholicoruiii,  et  omnium  piorum  instruclionetn 
Ita  censco  Ueorgius  Blackwellus  arrhipresbitcr  .\ngliaj  et  proto- 


j28  HUDIHRAS.  (PAiir  n 

Against  the  protestants,  when  tli'  happen 

To  find  their  churches  taken  napping  ; 

As  thus  :  a  breach  of  oatli  is  duple, 

And  either  way  admits  a  scruple,  270 

And  may  be,  ex  parte  of  the  maker, 

3Iore  criminal  than  the  injur'd  taker ; 

For  he  that  strains  too  far  a  vow. 

Will  break  it,  like  an  o'er  bent  bow : 

And  he  that  made,  and  forc"d  it,  broke  it,  275 

Not  he  that  for  coiiveuience  took  it. 

A  broken  oath  is,  quatenjs  oath. 

As  sound  t'  all  purposes  of  troth. 

As  broken  laws  are  ne'er  the  worse, 

Nay,  'till  they're  broken,  have  no  force.  280 

VV'liat's  justice  to  a  man,  or  laws, 

That  never  comes  within  their  claws? 

They  liave  no  pow'r,  but  to  admonish ; 

Cannot  control,  coerce,  or  punish. 

Until  they're  broken,  and  then  touch  285 

Those  only  that  do  make  them  such. 

Beside,  no  engagement  is  allow'd. 

By  men  in  prison  made,  for  good  ; 

For  when  they're  set  at  liberty. 

They're  from  th'  engagement  too  set  free.  290 

The  rabbins  write,  when  any  jew 

Did  make  to  god  or  man  a  vow,* 


nntarius  apostolicus.  On  the  second  leaf  it  has  this  title  :  A 
Treatise  iis^inst  Lying  and  Fraudulent  Dissimuliilinn,  newiy 
overseen  liv  tlie  Author,  and  pul)lished  for  the  Deli-nce  of  Inno- 
cency,  and' for  the  Instruction  of  Ignorat-s.  The  MS.  was  seized 
by  Sir  Edward  Coke,  in  Sir  Thomas  Tresham's  chamber,  in  the 
Inner  Temple,  and  is  now  in  the  Bodleian  library,  at  Oxford. 
51S.  Laud.  E.  4.5,  with  the  attestation  in  Sir  EiUvard  Coke's 
handwritins,  5  Decemlier  IfiOj,  and  the  following  motto:  Os 
quod  nientitur  occidit  animam.  An  instance  of  the  parliament 
Brians  shifting  their  sense,  and  explaining  away  their  declara 
tion,  may  be  this :  When  the  Scots  delivered  up  the  king  to  the 
parliament,  they  were  promised  that  he  should  be  treated  with 
safety,  liberty,  and  honor.  But  when  the  Scots  afierwards  fonud 
re.ason  to  demand  the  pirfocmance  of  that  promise,  they  were 
answered,  that  the  promise  was  formed,  published,  and  employed 
according  as  the  suae  of  affairs  then  stood.  And  yet  these 
promises  to  preserve  the  person  and  authority  of  the  kirg  had 
been  made  with  the  most  solt-nm  protestations.  Vv'c  protest,  say 
thcv.  in  the  prc-cncc  of  .^Imighiy  God,  which  is  the  sirorpest 
bond  of  a  Christian,  and  by  the  public  faith,  the  most  solemn 
that  any  st:ite  can  give,  that  neither  adversity  nor  success  shall 
ever  cause  us  to  change  our  resolutions. 

♦  There  is  a  traditional  doctrine  amons  the  Jews,  that  if  any 
person  has  made  a  vow,  which  afierwards  he  wishes  to  recall, 
Ue  may  gc  to  a  rabbi,  or  three  other  men,  and  if  he  can  p/ove  Ui 


lANTO  IL]  IIUDIBRAS.  226 

Which  aftorwards  ho  found  untoward 

And  sluliborn  to  bo  ko|)t,  or  too  hard  ; 

Any  Ihrco  other  ji-\vs  o'  Ih'  nation  295 

Mijjlit  I'ri'o  him  IVoni  Iho  ol)iiffalion  : 

And  have  not  two  saints  jxnvcr  to  uso 

A  greater  privih'fro  than  thrro  jews  ?* 

Till"  court  of  conscionco,  which  in  man 

Should  be  supremo  and  sovereign,  ;iOC 

Is't  lit  should  bo  suboniinato 

To  cv'ry  petty  court  i'  th'  state, 

And  have  less  power  than  the  lesser. 

To  deal  with  perjury  at  jjleasin'o  ? 

Have  its  proceedings  disallow'd,  or  3CS 

Allow'd,  at  I'aney  of  pie-|iow(ler  ?t 

Tell  all  it  docs,  or  does  not  know, 

l''or  swearing  ex  oflicio?t 

Uo  forc'd  t'  imjieach  u  broken  hedge, 

And  pigs  unring'd  ut  vis.  franc,  pledgt  ?§  ."11 C 


lliem  that  no  injury  will  lie  su^liilned  by  iiiiy  one,  they  niny  free 
luiM  I'rciiii  lis  iilili^Mliiin.     See  Heuiiiins.  vol.  i.  III. I). 

*  Mr.  liniler  luld  Mr.  Voiil,  tlwil  liy  llie  two  siilnts  tie  meiint 
Dr.  l>ownin«  mid  Mr.  M;lr^ll.■lll,  who,  when  some  nl'  tin;  reliels 
li^id  their  livi's  spiired  on  condition  lli:it  tlieywotlld  not  in  I'litiiro 
beiir  arms  n!;iiinst  the  kinc.  were  sent  to  dispense  with  llic  n.iili, 
iind  per^iiiule  lliem  to  enter  ny;iin  iiiln  the  service.  Mr.  Veiil 
w.is  n  i;entlemMn  cnniinoiier  of  llilmnnd  ll.iil  ditrinji  the  tronliies, 
iind  WHS  iiliiint  seventy  yeiirs  <ild  when  \\i'.  f;iivo  this  iici'cuint  to 
Mr.  Coopey.  ."^eo  (Jodwin's  MS.  notes  on  Grey's  Iludil)riis,  in 
the  liodleiiin  liliriry.  O.xCord. 

t  'J'lie  court  of  pie  powder  tiikes  copnizance  of  stich  disputes 
ns  iirisu  in  liiirs  iind  markets;  and  is  so  called  from  the  old 
Trencli  word  pied-pnidreatix,  wliieli  signifies  a  pedler,  ono  who 
j;els  II  liveilliood  without  ii  lived  or  certain  residence.  See  Hiir- 
ringlon's  Oltservalions  on  the  Statutes  ;  and  Blackslnne's  Com- 
iiicnlaries,  vol.  lii.  p.  :i".  In  ili<'  liKronijh  laws  of  Scotland,  an 
alien  merchant  Is  called  pied-puldreau.v. 

X  In  some  courts  an  oath  was  adiiiinistered,  iisnally  called  the 
oath  ex  otVieio,  whereby  the  parties  were  obliged  to  answer  to 
lnlerrci};alorie:(,  and  thirel'nrc  were  Ihouglit  to  be  obliged  to  ac- 
cuse or  pnrgi'  themselves  of  any  criminal  imitter.  In  the  year 
lliO-1  a  ronlirence  was  held  con;ernliig  some  n-forms  In  ecclesi- 
astical milters  when  .lames  I.  presided;  ono  of  the  matlera 
romplained  of  was  the  ex  officio  oath.  The  Lord  Chancellor, 
lord  treasurer,  and  the  archbishop  (VVhilgirt)  deleiided  ih<M)alh: 
ths  king  gave  a  description  of  it,  laid  down  the  groinids  upon 
which  It  stodd.  and  jilstitled  the  wisdom  of  the  conslilntion.  I'Nir 
swearing  ex  otliilo,  that  is,  by  taking  the  e.\  ntiicio  oath.  ,\  fur- 
ther iiccoiiiil  id'  this  oath  may  be  .seen  in  Neal's  History  of  llu; 
I'nrilans,  vcd.  I.  p.  M. 

^  I.'.rds  III' certain  nihnors  liad  the  riglil  of  requiring  surety  o( 
(he  freeholders  lur  their  good  behavior  towards  the  king  and  his 
Kubjeets  :  which  security,  taken  by  the  steward  at  Iho  lonl's 
Cinirt.  was  tn  lie  exhibited  to  the  sherilf  iif  the  county.  These 
manors  were  said  to  have  view  of  frank  pleilgo 


230  IIUDiBRAS.  [Part  n 


Discover  thieves,  and  bawds,  recusants, 

Priests,  witches,  eves-droppers,  and  nuisance: 

Tell  who  did  play  at  frames  nulawfiil, 

And  who  fill'd  pots  of  ale  but  liaif-full  : 

And  have  no  pow'r  at  all,  nor  siiift,  313 

To  help  itself  at  a  dead  lift? 

Why  sliould  not  conscience  have  vacation 

As  well  as  other  courts  o'  th'  nation  ? 

Have  equal  jwwer  to  adjourn. 

Appoint  appearance  and  return  ?  320 

And  make  as  nice  distinctions  serve 

To  si)lit  a  case,  as  those  that  carve, 

Invoking  cuckolds'  names,  hit  joints?* 

Why  should  not  tricks  as  slight,  do  points? 

Is  not  th'  high  court  of  justice  sworn  325 

To  judge  that  law  that  serves  their  turn  ?t 

Make  their  own  jealousies  high  treason. 

And  fix  them  whomsoc'er  they  please  on  ? 

Cannot  the  learned  counsel  there 

Make  laws  in  any  shape  appear?  33P 

Mould  'em  as  witches  do  tlieir  clay. 

When  they  make  pictures  to  destroy  ?| 

*  Our  ancestors,  when  they  found  it  difficult  to  carve  a  goose 
fv  haro,  or  other  dish,  used  to  say  in  jest,  they  should  hit  the 
j..int  if  tliey  could  think  of  the  name  of  a  cuckold.  Mr.  Kyrle, 
the  man  of  lloss,  celebrated  liy  Pope,  had  always  company  to 
dine  with  hiiii  on  a  market  day,  and  a  poose,  if  it  cnuld  be  pro- 
cured, was  one  of  the  dishes  ;  which  he  claimed  the  privilege 
of  carvinR  himself.  When  any  guest,  ignorant  of  the  etiquette 
of  the  table,  offered  to  save  him  that  trouble,  he  would  exclaim, 
•'  Hold  your  hand,  man.  if  I  am  good  for  any  thing,  it  is  for  hit- 
"  tins  cuckolds'  joints." 

t  The  hiph  court  of  justice  was  a  court  first  instituted  for  the 
trial  of  king  Charles  I.,  but  afterwards  extended  its  judicature  to 
some  of  his  adherents,  to  the  year  1658.  As  it  had  no  law  or 
preceilents  to  go  by,  its  determinations  were  those  which  best 
served  tlie  turn  of  its  members.  See  the  form  of  the  oath  ad- 
ministered to  them  upon  the  trial  of  Sir  Henry  Slingsby,  and  Dr. 
Hewet,  16.">3,  in  Jlercurius  Politicus,  No.  414,  page  501. 

X  It  was  supposed  that  witches,  by  forming  the  image  of  any 
one  in  wax  or  clay,  and  sticking  it  with  pins,  or  putting  it  to 
other  torture,  could  annoy  also'the  prototype  or  person  repre 
sented.  According  to  Dr.  Dee  such  enchantments  were  used 
against  Queen  Elizabeth.  Elinor  Cobham  employed  them  against 
Henry  VI.,  and  Amy  Simpson  against  James  VI.  of  Scotland.  A 
criminal  process  was  issued  against  Robert  of  Artnis,  who  con- 
trived the  figure  of  a  young  man  in  wax,  and  declared  it  was 
made  a^ain^tlIohn  of  France,  the  king's  son:  he  added,  that  he 
would  have  ahotlier  figure  of  a  woman,  not  baptized,  against  a 
Bhc-devil,  the  queen.  Monsieur  de  Laverdies  observes,  that  the 
spirit  of  superstition  had  persuaded  people,  that  figures  r)f  wax 
baplizeil,  and  pierced  for  several  days  to  the  heart,  brought  about 
Uta  death  of  the  jierscm  against  whom  they  were   intended. 


L'ANTo  II  ]  HUDIBIIAS.  2S1 

And  vox  tliciii  info  any  form 

'Pliat  iits  their  purpose  to  do  JKinii? 

Ruck  tlii'in  iiiilii  they  do  conlVss,  335 

Im])riich  of  treason  whom  tiiey  please, 

And  most  perfidiously  condemn 

Those  that  engag'd  their  lives  for  them? 

And  yet  do  nothing  in  their  own  sense, 

But  what  they  ought  by  oath  and  conscience.        3-10 

Can  they  not  juggle,  and  with  slight 

Conveyance  play  witii  wrong  and  right; 

And  sell  their  blasts  of  wind  as  doai,* 

As  Lapland  witches  bottPd  air?t 

Will  not  fear,  favour,  bribe,  and  grudge,  345 

The  same  case  sev'ral  ways  adjudge? 

As  seamen,  with  the  self-same  gale. 

Will  sev'ral  dilTerent  courses  sail ; 

As  when  the  sea  breaks  o'er  its  bounds,! 

And  overflows  the  level  grounds,  350 

Those  banks  and  dams,  that,  like  a  screen. 

Did  keep  it  out,  now  keep  it  in  ; 

So  when  tyrannical  usurpation 

Invades  the  freedom  of  a  nation. 

The  laws  o'  th'  land  that  were  intended  355 

To  keep  it  out,  are  made  defend  it. 

Does  not  in  chanc'ry  ev'ry  man  swear 

What  makes  best  for  him  in  his  answer? 

Is  not  the  winding  up  witnesses. 

And  nicking,  more  than  half  the  bus'ness?  360 

For  witnesses,  like  watches,  go 

Jusl  as  they're  set,  too  fast  or  slow  ; 

And  where  in  conscience  they're  strait  lac'd, 

'Tis  ten  to  one  that  side  is  cast. 

Account  of  MSS.  in  the  French  king's  library,  1789,  vol.  ii.  p 
401. 

*  That  is,  their  breath,  their  pleadinjis,  their  arguments, 
t  The  witches  in  Lapland  preteniled  to  sell  bags  of  wind  to 
the  sailors,  which  would  carry  them  to  whatever  quarter  they 
pleased.    See  Olaus  Magnus.    Cleveland,  in  his  King's  Disguise 
p.  01: 

1'he  Laplanders  when  they  would  sell  a  wind 
Availing  to  hell,  b;ig  up  thy  phrase  and  bind 
It  to  the  barque,  which  at  the  voyage  end 
Shifts  poop,  and  breeds  the  collick  in  the  fiend. 
X  This  simile  may  be  found  in  prose  in  Butler's  Remains,  vol. 
p.  298.    "For  as  when  the  sea  breaks  over  its,  bounds,  and 
overflows  the  land,  those  dams  and  banks  that  were  made  to 
"  keep  it  out,  do  afterwards  serve  to  keep  it  in  :  so  when  tyranny 
"and  usurpation  break  in  upon  the  cormuon  right  and  freedom, 
"  the  laws  of  God  anil  of  the  land  are  abused,  to  support  thai 
■  which  they  were  intended  to  oppose." 
20 


132  HLDIBRAS.  IPart  n 

Do  not  your  juries  give  their  verdict  SOI 

As  if  they  felt  the  onuse,  not  iieard  it'? 

And  as  they  please  make  matter  o'  fact 

Run  all  on  ono  side  as  they're  packt? 

Nature  has  made  man's  breast  no  wiudores, 

To  publisli  what  he  does  within  doors  ;*  370 

Nor  wiiat  dark  secrets  there  inhabit, 

Unless  his  own  rash  folly  blab  it. 

If  oaths  can  do  a  man  no  good 

In  his  own  bus'ness,  why  they  shou'd, 

In  other  matters,  do  liim  hurt,  375 

I  think  there's  little  reason  for'u 

He  that  imposes  an  oath  makes  it, 

Not  he  that  for  convenience  takes  it: 

Then  how  can  any  man  be  said 

To  break  an  oath  he  never  made?  380 

These  reasons  may  jierhaps  look  oddly 

To  th'  wicked,  tho'  they  evince  the  godly; 

But  if  they  will  not  serve  to  clear 

My  honour,  I  am  ne'er  the  near. 

Honour  is  like  that  glas.sy  bubble,  385 

That  finds  philosopliers  such  trouble: 

Whose  least  part  crack'd,  the  whole  dies  fly, 

And  wits  are  crack'd  to  find  out  why.t 


*  MomHS  is  s;iiil  to  have  found  fault  with  the  frame  of  man, 
because  lliere  were  no  iloori  nor  windows  iu  liis  breust,  through 
which  his  thoughts  might  l)e  discovered.  See  an  ingenious 
paper  on  this  suhject  in  the  Guirdian,  vol.  ii.  No.  106.  Mr.  Bat- 
ler  spells  wmdore  in  the  same  manner  where  it  does  not  rhyme 
Perhaps  he  thought  that  the  etymology  of  the  word  was  wind- 
door. 

t  The  drop,  or  biiblile,  mentioned  in  this  simile,  is  made  r.r 
ordinary  glass,  of  the  shape  and  about  twice  the  size  described 
in  the  margin.  It  i<  nearly  solid.  The  thick  p-irt.  at  D 
or  K,  will  bear  the  stroke  of  a  hammer;  but  if  you 
break  off  the  top  in  the  slender  and  sloping  part  at 
B  or  C,  the  whole  will  burst  with  a  noise,  and  be 
ulown  about  in  [>i>wder  to  a  considerable  distance. 
The  first  establishers  of  the  Royal  Society,  and  many 
philosophers  in  various  parts  of  Europe,  found  it  diffi- 
cult to  e.vplain  this  phenomenon.  Monsieur  Rohalt, 
in  his  Physics,  calls  it  a  kind  of  a  miracle  in  nature, 
^nd  says,  (part  i.  c.  xxii.  ^  -17:)  "  Ed.  Clarke  lately 
"discovered,  and  brought  it  hither  from  Holland, 
"and  which  has  travelled  through  all  the  universi- 
"ties  in  Europe,  where  it  has  raised  the  curiosity, 
"  and  confounded  the  reason  of  the  greatest  part  of 
■'  the  philosophers  :"  he  accounts  ft)r  it  in  the  follow- 
ing manner.  He  says,  that  the  drop,  whea  taken  hot 
from  the  fire,  is  f  uiUI'-nly  emersed  in  some  appropriate  liquor, 
(cold  water  he  thinks  will  break  il„»  by  which  means  the  pores 
*  Here  Uf.  is  mistakeu. 


r'ANTo  II.]  IIUDIBRAS.  333 

Qiiotli  Riilplio,  Honour's  but  a  word, 
To  swear  by  only  in  a  lord  :•  396 

III  otliiT  men  'tis  but  a  liufT 
To  vapour  with,  instead  ofjjroof; 
That  like  a  wen,  looks  bifj  and  sv;e!ls, 
Insenseless,  and  just  nothing  else. 

Let  it,  quoth  he,  be  what  it  will,  399 

It  has  the  world's  opinion  still. 
But  as  men  are  not  wise  that  run 
The  slightest  hazard,  they  may  shun, 
There  may  a  medium  be  found  out 
To  clear  to  all  the  world  the  doubt ;  400 

And  that  is,  if  a  man  may  do't, 
By  proxy  whipp'd,  or  substitute. t 

Though  nice  and  dark  the  point  appeal 
Quoth  Ralph,  it  may  hold  up  and  clear. 
That  sinners  may  supply  the  place  405 

Of  sulTering  saints,  is  a  plain  case. 
Justice  gives  sentence,  many  times, 
On  one  man  for  another's  crimes. 
Our  brethren  of  New  England  use 
Choice  malefactors  to  excuse, t  110 


on  the  outside  are  closed,  and  the  sul)stance  of  the  R.ass  con- 
densed ;  while  the  inside  not  cooling  so  fast,  Ihe  pores  are  loft 
wider  and  wider  froiTi  Ihe  surface  to  the  middle :  so  that  the  air 
bcins  lei  in,  and  liiKhng  no  passage,  hursts  it  to  pieces.  To  prove 
the  truth  of  his  explication,  he  observes,  that  if  you  break  off  the 
very  point  of  it  at  A,  the  drop  will  not  l)urst :  because  that  part 
being  very  slender,  it  was  cooled  all  at  once,  the  pores  were 
equally  closed,  and  there  is  no  passage  for  the  air  into  the  wider 
pores  below.  If  you  heat  the  drop  again  in  the  fire,  and  let 
it  cool  gradually,  the  outer  pores  will  be  opened,  and  made  as 
large  as  the  inner,  and  then,  in  whatever  part  you  break  it,  there 
will  be  no  bursting.  He  gave  three  of  the  drops  to  three  several 
jewellers,  to  be  drilled  or  filed  at  C  1)  and  E,  but  when  they  had 
worked  them  a  liitle  way,  that  is,  beyond  the  pores  which  were 
closed,  they  all  burst  to  powder. 

*  Lords,  when  they  give  judgment,  are  not  sworn  :  they  say 
only  upon  my  honor. 

t  Mr.  Murray,  of  the  bed-chatidjer.  was  whipping  boy  to  king 
Ch.-irles  I.     Hurnet's  History  of  his  own  Times,  vol.  1.  p.  244. 

t  This  story  is  asserted  to  be  true,  in  the  notes  subjoined  by 
Mr.  IJutler  to  the  early  editions.  A  similar  one  is  related  by  Dr. 
Grey,  from  Morton's  English  Canaan,  printed  If)37.  A  lusty 
young  fellow  was  co.ndemned  to  be  hanged  for  stealing  corn  ;  but 
it  was  proposed  in  ctmncil  to  execute  a  bed-rid  old  man  in  the 
ofTeudcr's  clothes,  which  would  satisfy  appearances,  and  pre- 
serve a  useful  member  to  society.  Dr.  Grey  mentions  likewise 
a  letter  from  thi;  comudltee  of  Staff  )rd  to  speaker  l.,enthall,  dated 
Aug.  5 ,  KH.i,  desiring  a  resiiite  for  Henry  Steward,  a  soldier  under 
<he  governor  of  Hartlebury  castle,  and  offering  two  Irishmen  tti 
be  executed  in  his  stead.  Rilpho  calls  them  his  brethren  of 
New  England,  because  the  inliabitanls  there  were  generally  In 


rM 


HUDIBRAtJ.  [Parti 


And  haiig  the  guiltless  in  their  stead  ; 

Of  wlioin  the  churches  have  less  need. 

As  lately  't  huppeu'd :  in  a  town 

There  liv'd  a  cobicr,  and  but  one, 

That  out  of  doctrine  could  cut  use,  115 

And  mend  men's  lives  as  well  as  shoes. 

This  precious  brother  having  slain, 

In  times  of  peace,  an  Indian, 

Not  out  of  malice,  but  mere  zeal, 

Because  he  was  an  infidel,  420 

The  mighty  Tottipoltimoy* 

Sent  to  our  elders  an  envoy. 

Complaining  sorely  of  the  breach 

Of  league,  held  forth  by  brother  Patch, 

Against  the  articles  in  force  <25 

Between  both  churches,  his  and  ours  ; 

For  which  he  crav'd  the  saints  to  render 

Into  his  hands,  or  hang  th'  ofteuder ; 

But  they  maturely  having  weigh'd 

They  had  no  more  but  him  o'  th'  trade,  430 

A  man  that  scrv'd  them  in  a  double 

Capacity,  to  teach  and  cobble, 

Resolv'd  to  spare  him  ;  yet  to  do 

The  Indian  Hoghan  Moghau  too 

Impartial  justice,  in  his  stead  did  435 

Hang  an  old  weaver  that  was  bed-rid  : 

Then  wherefore  may  not  you  be  skipp'd, 

And  in  your  room  another  whipp'd  ? 

For  all  pliilosophers,  but  the  sceptic,t 

Hold  whipping  may  be  sympathetic.  41'> 

It  is  enough,  quoth  Hud. bras, 
Thou  hast  resolv'd,  and  clear'd  the  case  ; 
And  canst,  in  conscience,  not  refuse, 
From  thy  own  doctrine,  to  raise  use  :t 
I  know  thou  wilt  not,  for  my  sake,  44.5 

Be  tender-conscienc'd  of  thy  back : 

dependents.  In  the  eccle;iri?iicr>l  cnnstitulion  of  that  province, 
modelled  iiccordini;  to  llohinsoii's  |:1  itr'nrm,  there  waG  a  co-ordi- 
nation of  churcli:;s,  not  a  siUiDiilinaUDn  of  one  to  another.  John 
dc  Laet  says,  priiiios  coloiios,  lUi  et  illos  f|iM  puslea  iiccesseriiiit, 
potissiiiuini  am  oiiininu  fnisse  e.v  ei.nuii  hoiiuniini  sectii,  quos  iu 
An;,'lia  lirownisias  el  piiritanoi  vccint. 

*  I  don't  know  whether  this  was  a  real  name,  or  an  imitation 
only  of  North  Aiiiericm  phrasei;logy :  the  appellation  of  an  in- 
dividiril,  or  a  title  of  ortic.e. 

t  The  skeptics  licld  iliat  there  was  no  r.eitiinly  of  sen:=e ;  and 
consequently,  thai  men  did  not  always  know  wlien  lliey  felt  any 
tiling. 

i  A  favorite  expression  of  the  sectaries  of  those  days. 


Canto  u.J  IIUDIBKAS.  235 

Then  strip  llicc  of  tliy  carnal  jerkin, 

And  give  thy  outward  fellow  a  ferking ; 

P^or  when  thy  vessel  is  new  lioop'd, 

All  leaks  of  sinninj;  will  bo  stopp'd.  450 

Quotli  Ralplio,  Yon  mistake  the  matter, 
For  in  all  scruples  of  this  nature. 
No  man  includes  himself,  nor  turns 
The  point  upon  his  own  concerns. 
As  no  man  of  his  own  self  catches  455 

The  itch,  or  amorous  French  aches ; 
^''o  no  man  does  himself  convince, 
By  his  own  doctrine,  of  his  sins: 
And  though  all  cry  down  self,  none  means 
His  own  sell"  in  a  literal  sense:  4C0 

Resides,  it  is  not  only  foppish, 
But  vile,  idolatrous,  and  popish. 
For  one  man  out  of  his  own  skin 
To  frisk  and  wliip  another's  sin  ;* 
As  pedants  out  of  school  boy's  breeches  465 

Do  claw  and  curry  their  own  itches. 
But  in  this  case  it  is  profane. 
And  sinful  too,  because  in  vain  ; 
For  we  must  take  our  oaths  njjon  it 
You  did  the  deed,  when  I  have  done  it.  470 

Quoth  Hudibras,  That's  answer'd  soon  ; 
Give  us  the  whip,  we'll  lay  it  on. 

Quoth  Ralp!io,  That  yon  may  swear  true, 
'Twere  [jroju'rer  that  I  whipp'd  you  ; 
For  when  with  your  consent  'tis  done,  475 

Tiio  act  is  really  your  own. 

Quoth  Hudibras,  It  is  in  vain, 
I  see,  to  argue  'gainst  the  grain  ; 
Or,  like  the  stars,  incline  men  to 
What  they're  averse  themselves  to  do :  460 

For  when  disputes  are  weary'd  out, 
Tis  interest  still  resolves  the  doubt : 
But  since  no  reason  can  confute  yc, 
I'll  try  to  force  you  to  j'our  duty ; 
For  so  it  is,  howe'er  you  mince  it ;  485 

As,  e'er  we  part,  I  shall  evince  it, 
And  curry ,t  if  you  stand  out,  whetlirr 
i.'^ou  will  or  no,  your  stubborn  leather 
Canst  thou  refuse  to  bear  thy  part 


*  A  l);inter  on  the  popish  doctrine  of  sntisfactior.s. 
t  Coria  perfiicre  :  or  it  may  be  derived  from  the  Welsh  knru, 
Ic  leat  or  pound.    This  scene  is  taken  from  Hon  Quixote. 


236 


HLDIBUAS.  [PAaT  u. 


1'  th'  public  ivork,  base  as  thou  art?  430 

To  liiggle  thus,  for  a  few  blows, 

To  guiu  thy  K'niglit  an  op'leut  spouse, 

Wliose  wealth  iiis  bowels  yearn  to  purchase, 

Merely  for  th'  int'rest  of  the  churches? 

And  when  he  has  it  in  his  claws,  491 

Will  not  be  hide-bound  to  the  cause : 

Nor  slialt  thou  find  him  a  curnnidgin,* 

If  thou  dispatch  it  witiiout  grudging  : 

If  not,  resolve,  before  we  go, 

That  you  and  I  must  pull  a  crow.  SOO 

Ye'ad  best,  quoth  Ralpho,  as  the  ancients 
Say  wisely,  have  a  care  o'  th'  main  rhauce. 
And  look  before  you,  ere  you  leap ; 
For  as  you  sow,  y'are  like  to  reap: 
And  were  y'  as  good  as  George-a-grecn,t  5Co 

I  should  make  bold  to  turn  agen  : 
Nor  am  I  doubtful  of  the  issue 
In  a  just  quarrel,  as  mine  is  so. 
Is't  fitting  for  a  man  of  honour 

To  whip  the  saints,  like  Bishop  Bonner?}  510 

A  knight  t'  usurp  the  beadle's  office, 
For  wiiich  y'  are  like  to  raise  brave  trophies? 
But  I  advise  you,  not  for  fear. 
But  for  your  own  sake,  to  forbear ; 
And  for  the  chnrches,§  which  may  chance  515 

From  hence,  to  spring  a  variance, 
And  raise  among  tliemsclves  new  scruples, 
Whom  common  danger  hardly  couples, 
Remember  how  in  arms  and  politics. 
We  still  have  worsted  all  your  holy  tricks  ;||  520 

Trepauu'd  your  party  with  intrigue, 


*  Perhaps  from  the  French  cceur  merchant. 

t  A  valiant  hero,  perhnps  an  outlaw,  in  the  time  of  Richard 
Ihc  First,  who  coiKiuered  llohin  Mood  and  Little  John.  He  is 
llie  same  Willi  the  I'inder  of  Wakefield.  See  Echard's  History 
of  England,  vol.  i.  20li.  The  Old  I!  ill  ids;  Hen  JonsoQ's  play 
of  the  Sad  Shepherd;  and  Sir  John  SiicKlinsr's  l'..eins. 

i  IJishop  of  London  in  the  rei<:n  of  queen  Mary:  a  man  of 
profligate  manners  and  of  brutal  ch;iracter.  He  sonietinies 
whipped  the  froteslant's,  who  wc^re  in  caslcxly.  with  his  own 
hands,  till  he  was  tired  with  the  violence  of  the  exercise. 
Hume's  History  of  Mary,  p.  378;  Fo.x,  Acts  and  Monitments  ed. 
157G,  1.  KI37. 

^  U"-.vas  very  common  for  the  sectaries  of  those  days,  however 
Btlenf.vc  they  mi-ihl  lie  to  their  own  inleren,  to  pretend  that 
Ihey  had  nolhin!.'  in  view  but  the  welfare  of  the  churches. 

II  Tlje  Indepenilents  and  Anabaptists  got  the  army  on  then 
tide,  and  overpowered  U  <e  Presbyterians. 


Canto  II.]  IIUUIBHAS.  23: 

And  took  your  grandees  down  a  peg , 

Ncw-niodeU'd  tlie  army,  and  casliiei'd 

All  that  to  Legion  Siiiec  adiier'd  ; 

Made  a  mere  utensil  o'  your  church,  52i 

And  after  left  it  in  the  lurch  ; 

A  scullbld  to  build  up  our  own. 

And  when  w'  iiad  done  with  't,  pnll'd  it  down  ; 

O'er-rcach'd  your  rabbins  of  the  synod, 

And  sna|)p"d  their  canons  with  a  why-not:*  530 

Grave  synod-men,  that  where  rever'd 

For  solid  face,  and  dcplh  of  beard, 

Their  classic  model  provM  a  maggot. 

Their  direct'ry  an  Indian  pagod  ;t 

And  drown'd  their  discipline  like  a  kitten,  533 

On  which  they'd  been  so  long  a  sitting  ; 

Decry "d  it  as  a  holy  cheat, 

Grown  out  of  dale,  and  obsolete. 

And  all  the  saints  of  the  first  grass,! 

As  casting  fouls  of  Balaam's  ass.  540 

At  this  the  Knight  grew  high  in  chafe,§ 
And  starins:  furiously  on  Ralph, 
He  trembl'd,  and  look'd  i)ale  with  ire. 
Like  ashes  fii-st,  then  red  as  fire. 

Have  I,  quoth  he,  been  ta'eu  in  fight,  545 

And  for  so  many  moons  lain  by't, 
And  when  all  other  means  did  fail. 
Have  been  exchang'd  for  tubs  of  ale  ?|1 


*  Some  eilitions  read,  "capochM  your  rabbins,"  that  is,  I)lind- 
folded ;  but  this  word  docs  nut  ajiree  so  well  with  the  squire's 
sitnplicitv  of  expression.  Why-not  is  a  fanciful  tcitii  used  in 
Butler's  Remains,  vol.  i.  p.  178:  it  si|.'nifies  the  obliging  a  m^a 
to  yield  his  assent;  the  driving  him  to  a  non  plus,  when  he 
knows  not  what  to  answer.  It  may  resemble  quidni  in  Latin, 
and  tJ  /i^i'  in  Greek. 

t  The  directory  was  a  book  drawn  up  by  the  asscmldy  of  di- 
vines, and  published  by  authority  of  parliament,  containing 
instructions  to  tlieir  ministers  for  the  regulation  of  public  wor- 
ship. One  of  the  scribes  to  ihe  assetibly,  who  executed  a  great 
)»art  of  the  work,  was  Adoniram  Byheld,  said  to  have  been  a 
uroken  apothecary.  lie  was  the  father  of  Byfield,  the  salvola- 
;ile  doctor. 

t  The  Presbyterians,  the  first  sectaries  that  sprang  up  and  op- 
poicd  the  estaljlishcd  church. 

$  Talibus  exarsit  dictis  violcntia  Turni. 

yEneid.  xi.  370. 

II  Mr.  Butler,  in  his  own  note  on  these  lines,  says,  "  The  knight 
'was  kept  prisoner  in  Exeter,  and  after  several  changes  pro- 
"  |K)sed,  but  none  accepted  of,  was  at  last  released  for  a  barrel 
"of  ale,  as  he  used  upon  all  occasions  to  declare."    It  Is  proba- 


236  HUD1BRA5?.  [Part  u 

Not  but  they  thought  me  worth  a  ransom, 

Much  more  consid'rable  and  handsome  ;  55C 

But  for  their  own  sakes,  and  for  fear 

They  were  not  safe,  wlun  I  was  there  ; 

Now  to  be  baffled  by  a  scoundrel, 

Au  upstart  sect'ry,  and  a  mungrel,* 

Such  as  breed  out  of  peccant  liumours  5M 

Of  our  own  cluirch,  hkc  wens  or  tumours. 

And  li.ke  a  maggot  in  a  sore, 

Wou'd  that  which  gave  it  life  devour  ; 

It  never  sliall  be  done  or  said  : 

With  that  he  seized  upon  his  blade  ;  SCO 

And  Ralpho  too,  as  quick  and  bold, 

Upon  his  basket-hilt  laid  hold, 

With  equal  readiness  prepared. 

To  draw  and  stand  upon  his  guard  ; 

When  both  were  parted  on  the  sudden,  565 

With  hideous  clamour,  and  a  loud  one. 

As  if  all  sorts  of  noise  had  been 

Contracted  into  one  loud  din  ; 

Or  that  some  member  to  be  chosen. 

Had  got  the  odds  above  a  thousand  ;  5711 

And,  by  the  greatness  of  his  noise, 

Prov'd  fittest  for  his  country's  clioice. 

This  strange  surprisal  put  the  Knight 

And  wrathful  Squire,  into  a  fright  ; 

And  tho'  they  stood  prepar'd,  with  fatal  575 

Impetuous  rancour  to  join  battle, 

Both  thought  it  was  the  wisest  course 

To  wave  tlie  fight,  and  mount  to  horse  ; 

And  to  secure,  by  swift  retreating. 

Themselves  from  danger  of  worse  beating  ;  580 

Yet  neither  of  them  would  disparage, 

By  utt'ring  of  his  mind,  his  courage. 

Which  made  them  stoutly  keep  their  ground. 

With  horror  and  disdain  wind-bound. 

And  now  the  cause  of  all  their  feart  585 


ble  from  hence  th:\t  the  chaiacter  of  Thidibras  was  in  some  of 
its  features  drawn  from  Sir  3amiiel  Luke. 

*  Kni!;hts  errant  sometimes  condescenileil  to  address  their 
squires  in  this  polite  lan!.'uai;e.  Thus  Don  Quixote  to  Snncho  : 
"  How  now,  opprobrious  rascal!  stinking  garlic-eater!  sirrah,  I 
"will  take  you  and  tit  your  dogship  to  a  tree,  as  naked  as  your 
" mother  hnre  you." 

t  The  pt)et  iloes  not  suffer  his  heroes  to  proceed  to  open  vio- 
lenrc  ;  but  in<;eniously  puts  an  end  to  the  dispute,  by  introducing 
them  to  a  new  adventure.  The  drollery  of  the  followins:  sccnj 
U  lalniitable. 


Canto  ii.]  IU1DI1}RA.S.  239 

My  slow  degioos  approacli'd  so  near. 

Tlicy  iniglit  distiniruisli  dillerent  iioiso 

Of  horns,  and  pans,  and  do;rs,  and  boya, 

And  kettlo-drunis,  wliose  sullen  dub 

Sounds  like  the  hoopini;  of  a  tub  :  900 

But  when  tlic  si<rht  appear"d  in  view, 

They  found  it  was  an  antique  shew  ; 

A  Iriuinph,  that  for  pomp  and  state, 

iJid  proudest  Romans  emulate  :* 

For  as  the  aldermen  of  Rome  9BS 

Tiieir  foes  at  training  overcome, 

And  not  enlai-ging  territory, 

As  some,  mi.slaken,  write  in  story ,+ 

Being  mounted  in  their  best  array. 

Upon  a  car,  and  who  but  they  ?  600 

And  follow'd  with  a  world  of  tall  lads, 

Tliat  merry  dillies  troll'd,  and  ballads,t 

Did  ride  with  many  a  good-morrow, 

Crying,  hey  for  om-  town,  thro'  the  borough  j 

.So  when  tl^s  triumph  drew  so  nigll,  MS 

They  might  particulars  descry. 

They  never  saw  two  things  so  pat. 

In  all  respects,  as  this  and  that. 

First  he  that  led  the  cavalcate. 

Wore  a  sow-gelder's  Hagellet,  CIO 

On  which  he  blew  as  strong  a  levet,^ 


*  The  skimmingtnn,  or  procession,  to  e.\hil)it  a  woman  who 
had  l)eiiten  her  liii<l):in(l,  is  humorously  compared  to  a  Roman 
triuiii|ili;  the  leiirned  reader  will  lie  pleased  hy  conip:iriiig  this 
descriiiiion  with  the  poiiipims  iiccouni  of  ^miiius's  (riiim|ih,  as 
ile<cril)ed  hy  Plutarch,  and  the  satirical  one,  as  given  liy  Juvenal 
In  his  tenih  s.ilire. 

t  The  liuildings  at  Rome  were  sometimes  extomled  without 
Ihe  ceremony  of  describing  a  pomwrium,  which  Tacilns  and 
Gcllias  declare  no  |ierson  to  have  had  a  riphtof  extending,  but 
such  a  <ine  as  liad  taken  aw.iy  some  pa:l  of  the  enemy's  coun- 
try in  war;  perhaps  line  .VjO  may  allude  lo  the  Lonrlon  trained 
hands.  Our  poet's  learninfj  and  ideas  here  crowd  upon  hin\  ss 
fast,  that  he  seems  to  conlbuiul  lojielher  the  ceremonies  of  en 
larking  the  poiiiiurium.  of  a  triumph  al  Rome,  and  other  cere- 
monies, with  a  lord  mayor's  show,  exercising  the  trainbands, 
and  perhaps  a  borough  election. 

X  "I'he  vnlgiir.  and  Ihe  soldiers  themselves,  had  nt  triumphal 
processions  the  liberty  of  abusing  their  general.  Their  invec- 
tives were  comiimnly  conveyed  in  metre. 

Ecce  Cajsar  nunc  triumphal,  qui  subcgit  Oalll.as. 
Nicoinedes  non  triumphal,  qui  subegil  Citsarem. 

Suetonius  in  .lulio,  49. 

<t  iKJvet  is  a  lesson  on  the  trumpet,  si.unded  morning  and 
vening,  iMr.  Uacon  says,  on  shipboard.    It  is  derived  from  the 


flO  HLDIBRAS.  [P4AT  n 

As  well-feed  lawyer  oq  his  brev'ate. 

When  over  one  another's  heaiis 

They  charge,  three  ranks  at  once,  like  Sweoda  :* 

Next  pans  and  kettles  of  all  keys,  61J 

From  trebles  down  to  docKe  base  ; 

And  after  them  npon  a  ua^. 

That  mijht  pas  for  a  fore-hand  sta^, 

A  comet  rode,  and  oa  his  stalE 

A  smock  display "d  did  proudly  wave.  CM 

Then  bagpipes  of  the  loadest  drones. 

With  snujSiuj  broken-winded  tones  ; 

Whose  b'-ists  •:•?  air  in  pockets  shnt, 

Soond  r  :':om  the  gnt. 

And  m  -  '     -'ise  than  swme  CSS 

In  w'mc  ■    -  - ■.  -.v-aen  tney  whine. 

Xex'  one  upjn  a  p-uir  of  panniers. 

Full  frauTiit  witli  that  which,  for  ^uod  msnnejs. 

Shall  here  be  nameless,  niLx'd  with  jrains. 

Which  he  dispeos'd  amon^  the  swams,  S3t 

And  busily  upon' the  crowd 

At  random  roaad  about  bestow'd. 

Then  mounted  on  a  honied  horse. 

One  bore  a  gauntlet  and  g-llt  spars, 

Tv'd  to  the  pommel  of  a  lon^  sword  635 

He  held  rerers'd  the  point  torii'd  dovniward. 

Next  after,  on  a  n'^-bcii'd  steed. 

The  conquer  •  -  - 

And  bore  ale: 

A  petticoat  c  ■  "  "JK 

Near  whom  ■         -  • 

Bestrid  her  b-   ■  '       .    :  -i't 

Set  fiice  to  tail,  aod  bom  to  o<iin. 

The  warrior  whilom  overcome  ; 

Arm'd  with  a  spindle  and  a  distaff,  MS 

Which,  as  he  rode,  she  made  him  twist  dS; 


French  reveiUcr,  a  term  used  Sx  the  mnratng  truBipe* 
tlie  drvsooos. 

*  11113  ajtd  the  ptoce^Mia^  limes  wef\?  sAieil  ky  tbe  xolhor  ia 

167i.    r-  h  •  -  if^i;'  r-t;-t;  fp  .11  iLo  i:rTrm.--a  metb.-^if  rfspelllftBig  tbe 

»-,:;•  "  •!  of  isea.ii- 

^^  -        ^-i  appear  ib 

tiv  '  '■■•'  rtnks  St 

An..:   -  -  ■  "-« 

Wc-i:  ....  .  -         -  ^  r.ve 

■  Crs  ;•  '-■-•■;  .iSMCh-.-r*  heti.;.-.'" 

*  .^    . :  2  t»  tbe  lUHs  ia  which  bexulito  blkm  eoa.a  c# 
ums. 


Canto  u.J  IIUDIBUAS.  241 

And  when  he  loitcr'd,  o'er  lier  sliouldc 

Chastised  the  reforinado  soldier. 

Before  the  dame,  and  round  about, 

March'd  whiiHers,  and  stafficrs  on  foot.*  G50 

With  lackies,  grooms,  valets,  and  pages, 

In  lit  and  proper  equipages  ; 

Of  whom  some  torclies  bore,  some  links. 

Before  tiie  proud  virago-minx, 

Tliat  was  both  madam  and  a  donji  053 

Like  Noro's  Sporus,t  or  pope  Joan ; 

And  at  fit  periods  the  whole  rout 

Si't  u|)  tiu'ir  throats  with  clam'rous  shout. 

The  knight  transported  and  the  sriuirc, 

Put  up  their  weapons  and  their  ire ',  GCO 

And  Hudibras,  who  us'd  to  ponder. 

On  such  sights  with  judicious  wonder, 

Could  iiold  no  longer,  to  impart 

His  animadversions,  for  his  heart. 


*  "  A  iniglity  whifler.''  See  Phakspeare's  Henry  V.  Act  v 
nnd  Ilaniiier's  mite.  Vifleiir,  in  L</ril  llcrliert's  Henry  VIII 
ptalTicr,  I'rom  estafette,  a  courier  or  express.  [Mr.  Douce  in  his 
Illustrations  of"  Shakspeare,  vol.  i.  p.  .')0(>,  siiys :  "  i^oiiie  errors 
"  have  crept  into  tlie  remarks  on  this  word  which  require  correc- 
"  tion.  It  is  by  no  means,  as  Ilanmer  had  conceive<l,  a  corrup- 
"  tion  from  the  French  hiiissier.  He  was  apparently  misled  hy 
"  the  resenililance  which  the  office  of  a  whirHer  hore  in  modern 
"  times  to  that  of  an  usher.  The  term  is  undouhledly  horrowod 
•'  from  whiffle,  another  name  for  a.  fife  or  small  flute  ;  lor  whifllers 
"were  ori-iinally  those  who  preceded  armies  or  processions  as 
•■  fifers  or  pipers.  Representations  of  Ihetn  occur  among  the 
'  prints  of  the  macnificent  triumph  of  Maximilian  I.  In  a  note 
"on  Othello,  Act  ill.  sc.  iii.,  Mr.  Warton  had  supposed  that 
"  whifflcr  came  from  what  he  calls  '  the  old  French  vifficur  ;'  but 
'•  it  is  presumed  that  thai  language  does  not  supply  any  such 
"word,  and  that  the  use  of  it  in  the  quotation  from  Rymer's 
"/(Erfera  is  nothing  more  than  a  vitiated  orthography.  In  pro- 
"  cess  of  time  Ihe  term  whiffler,  w\\\ch  had  always  been  used  in 
"  the  .sense  of  a  ffer,  came  to  signify  any  person  who  went  bs- 
'•  fore  in  a  procession.  Minsheu,  In  his  Dictionary,  Kil",  defines 
"  him  to  he  a  club  or  staft'-bearer." 

.Mr.  Douce  has  not  aftiwied  us  an  instance  of  whifflcr  used  ax 
affer.  Warton  carries  up  the  use  of  the  word  as  an  huissicr  to 
l.").>»,  and  certainly  Shakspeare  could  have  had  no  idea  of  Us 
piping  meaning  when  he  wrote : 

"  Behold,  the  English  beach 

"  Pales  in  the  flood  vvilh  men,  with  wives,  and  boys, 
"Whose  shouts  and  claps  outvoice  the  dcep-vwiUh'd  sea, 
"  Which,  like  a  mignty  whittler  'lore  the  king, 

"Seems  t<i  prepare  his  way. " 

The  whifllers  who  now  attend  the  London  companies  in  irDCes- 
sions  are  freemen  carrying  staves.] 

t  A  mistress  and  a  master. 

X  Sec  Suetonins,  In  the  life  of  Nero. 


^42  HUDIBRAS.  iJ'ARr  n 

Quoth  he,  in  all  my  life  till  now,  66i 

I  ne'er  saw  so  profane  a  show ; 
It  is  a  paganisy.  invention, 
Whch  heathen  writers  often  mention: 
And  he,  who  made  it,  had  read  Goodwin, 
I  warrant  him,  and  understood  him  :  670 

With  ail  the  Grecian  Speeds  and  Stows," 
That  best  describe  those  ancient  shows; 
And  has  obscrv'd  all  fit  decorums 
We  find  de.-crib'd  by  old  historians  :t 
For,  as  the  Roman  conqueror,  67i' 

That  put  an  end  to  foreign  war, 
Ent'ring  the  town  in  triumph  for  it, 
Bore  a  slave  with  him  in  his  chariot  ;j 
So  this  insulting  female  bravo 

Carries  behind  her  here  a  slave :  CSO 

And  as  the  ancients  long  ago. 
When  they  in  field  defy"d  the  foe, 
Hung  out  their  mantles  della  guerre,§ 
So  her  proud  standard-bearer  here. 
Waves  on  his  spear,  in  dreadful  manner,  6P5 

A  Tyrian  petticoat  for  banner. 
Next  links  and  torches,  heretofore 
Still  borne  before  the  emperor: 

*  Speed  and  Stnwe  wrote  chronicles  ornnnRls  of  England,  and 
are  well  known  English  Hiitiqiiarics.  By  fJrecian  Speeds  and 
Stows,  he  means,  any  ancient  authors  who  h;ive  explained  the 
antiquities  and  customs  of  Greece:  the  titles  of  such  books  were 
often,  ra  narpta,  of  snch  a  district  or  city.  Thus  Dica-archus 
wrote  a  linok  entitled,  wrpi  tov  t^j  'V.XXdioi  Plov,  wherein  he 
pave  the  de-'cription  of  Greece,  and  of  the  laws  and  cus- 
toms of  the  Grecians:  our  poet  likewise  might  allude  to  Faii- 
sanias. 

t  The  ret^dcr  wi'l,  perhaps,  think  this  an  awkward  rhyme ;  hut 
the  very  injenious  and  iicciir:\te  critic,  Dr.  Loveday,  to  whom,  as 
well  as  to  his  learned  father,  I  cannot  too  ofic-n  rt\>ci\t  my  nc- 
knowled<jnients,  observes  in  a  letter  with  which  he  honored  me, 
that  in  English,  to  a  vulg  ir  car,  unacquainted  With  critical  dis- 
quisitions on  sounds,  m  and  n  sound  alike.  So  the  old  sayings 
among  the  common  pcnjile  taken  for  rhyme: 

A  siich  in  time 
Saves  nine. 
Tread  on  a  worm, 
.^nd  it  will  turn. 

Frequent  :nstances  of  the  propriety  of  this  remnrk  occur  In  H'l 
iibras  ;  for  e.vample  :  men  and  them,  exempt  and  innocent. 

J  curru  servus  portatur  eodem.    Juv.  Sat.  i.  42 

^  Tunica  corcinea  snlehat  pridie  quani  dimicandum  esect  sti 
in  iirstiiriuiii  poni,  quasi  admonitio  et  indicium  futura;  pugns 
£{«lus  Id  Tarit. 


iS 


Canto  ii.J  IIUDinUAS.  o.|3 

And,  as  in  antique  triumphs,  eggs 

Were  borno  for  mystical  intrigues  ;*  (J90 

Tiiere's  one,  witli  truncheon,  liiie  a  ludie. 

That  carries  eggs  too,  iVcsh  or  adhi : 

And  still  at  random,  as  ho  goes, 

Among  tlie  rabble-rout  bestows. 

Quoth  Ual|)lio,  You  mistake  the  mattei  ;  095 

For  all  th'  antif|uity  you  smattcr 
Is  but  a  riding  us'd  of  course, 
^^  lirn  tiie  grey  marc's  tiio  better  horse; 
^\  lien  o'er  tlie  breeclics  greedy  women 
Tight,  to  extend  tlicir  vast  dominion,  700 

And  in  the  cause  imjjutient  Grizel 
Has  drubb'd  her  husband  with  bull's  pizzle. 
And  brought  him  under  covert-baron. 
To  turn  lier  vassal  witii  a  murrain  ; 
When  wives  Iheir  sexes  shift,  lilie  hares, +  703 

And  ride  their  husbands  like  niglit-mares  ; 
And  they,  iu  mortal  battle  vanquish'd, 
Are  of  their  charter  discufrunchis'd, 
Aud  by  tiie  right  of  war,  like  gills,{ 
C^ondemn'd  to  distaff",  horns,  and  wiieels:  /iO 

For  when  men  bj'  their  wives  are  cow'd, 
Their  horns  of  course  are  understood. 

Quoth  Hudibras,  Tliou  still  giv'st  scatcnce 
Impertinently,  and  against  sense : 

*  In  the  orcies  of  nacclius,  and  tlie  games  of  Ceres,  eggs  were 
carried  unil  had  ii  inyslical  iiupiiit.  t^ee  liaiiier,  Vdl.  i.  b.  ii.  c.  5, 
and  Riisinus,  lili.  v.  c.  J4.  I'ompri  prodiicehaliir  cum  deoruni 
■i^nisetovo.  In  sonic  editions  it  is  jirijitcd  anUck,und  means 
niiiiiic. 

t  Many  have  hcen  the  vulgar  errors  concerning  the  sexes  and 
copniatiiin  of  hares:  hm  they  heing  of  a  very  timid  and  modest 
nature,  seldom  couple  liul  In  tiie  night.  It  is  said  that  tlie  doe  hares 
have  lunior;  in  ihe  groin,  like  the  cantor,  and  that  the  buck 
hares  have  civitie<  like  ihe  hyena.  Ilesides,  they  are  said  to  lie 
relromingent.which  occasioned  the  vulgar  to  make  a  confusion 
in  Ihe  sc.\es.  Whi'U  huntsmen  are  belter  anatomists  and  philo- 
sophers, we  shill  know  more  of  lliis  iinller.  See  Hrown's  Vul- 
gar Errors,  b.  iii.  c.  27.  But  our  poet  here  chiefly  means  to  ridi- 
cule Ur.  Biilwer's  Ariificial  Changeling,  p.  407,  wlio  mentions  the 
female  patriarch  of  Greece,  and  pope  Joan  of  Rome,  and  likewise 
the  bny  Spurns,  who  was  married  to  the  emperor  Nero:  upon 
which  it  was  jii-tly  said  by  some,  that  it  had  been  happy  for  the 
empire,  if  Doinilius,  his  lather,  had  had  none  other  but  such  a 
wife.  Pee  what  Herodotus  says  C(mccrning  the  men  of  Scythia, 
in  his  Thalia. 

t  Cill,  scortilluni,  a  common  woman:  in  the  Scots  and  Irish 
dialect  a  girl ;  there  never  was  a  Jack  but  there  was  a  Gill.  See 
Kelly's  Scotch  Proverbs.  p;igK  .Illi.  See  also  Ch;iucpr's  Miller's 
Tale,  and  Gowcr,  Confess.  .Vmant.  and  G.  Douglas's  I'rologue 
page  43-2. 

21 


244  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  n 

'Tis  not  tlie  least  disparagement  715 

To  be  dclVateiJ  by  th'  event, 

Nor  to  be  beaten  by  main  force  ; 

That  does  not  mtike  a  man  the  worse, 

Altho'  his  shoulders,  with  battoon, 

Be  claw'd,  and  cndgell'd  to  some  tune;  720 

A  tailor's  prentice  lias  no  hard 

Measure,  that's  bangd  with  a  true  yard ; 

But  to  turn  tail,  or  run  away, 

And  without  blows  give  up  the  day  ; 

Or  to  surreiidLT  ere  the  assault,  72° 

That's  no  man's  fortune,  but  his  fault ; 

And  renders  men  of  honour  less 

Than  all  th'  adversity  of  success  ; 

And  only  unto  such  this  shew 

Of  horns  and  ])etticoats  is  due.  730 

There  is  a  lesser  profanation. 

Like  that  the  Romans  call'd  ovation  :* 

For  as  ovation  was  allow'd 

For  conquest  purchas'd  without  blood  ; 

So  men  decree  those  lesser  siiows  735 

For  vict'ry  gotten  without  blows. 

By  dint  of  sharp  hard  words,  which  some 

Give  battle  with,  and  overcome  ; 

These  mounted  in  a  chair-curule, 

Which  modtrus  call  a  cucking  stool, t  740 

March  proudly  to  the  river  side, 

And  o'er  the  waves  in  triumph  ride  ; 

Like  dukes  of  Venice,  who  are  said 

The  Adriatic  sea  to  wed  ;t 

And  have  a  gentler  wife  than  those  745 

For  whom  the  state  decrees  those  shows.§ 

*  At  the  greater  Iriumph  Ihe  Romans  sacrificed  an  ox  •  at  the 
lesser  a  sheep.  Iler.+-e  llie  name  ov:ition.  Philarch,  in  the  life 
of  MarcelUis.  "  Ovandi,  ac  non  triumphandi  causa  est,  quum  aut 
" bella  non  rite  indicti  ncque  cum  justo  liDste  gesia  sunt;  aut 
"  hostiuin  nonicn  humile  el  non  idoneum  est,  ut  servoruni,  piratii- 
"  rumque  ;  aut  deditiane  rcpente  faiti,  iinpuUerea,  ut  dici  solet, 
"  incrucnta(|ue  victoria  obvenit."     Aulus  Gellius,  v.  6. 

t  The  custom  of  ducking  a  scoldinf;  woman  in  the  water,  was 
common  in  many  places.  I  remetiiljer  to  have  seen  a  stool  of  this 
kind  near  the  brideo  at  Evesham  in  Worcestershire,  not  above 
eight  miles  from  Sirensham,  the  place  of  our  poet's  birth.  The 
etymology  of  the  term  I  know  not:  some  suppose  it  should  ba 
written  choking-stool.  others  ducking-stool,  and  others  derive  it 
from  the  French,  coquine. 

X  This  ceremony  is  performed  on  Ascension-day.  The  doge 
throws  a  ring  into  the  sea,  and  repeats  the  words.  "  Despousa- 
"nius  te,  mare,  in  sigiium  veri  et  perpctui  dominii." 

i  Than  the  Roman  worthies,  who  were  honored  with  ovs 


:4NTOii.]  IIUDIBUAS.  04«i 

But  both  are  heathenish,  and  como 

From  th'  whores  of  Babylon  and  Rome, 

And  by  the  saints  shonid  bo  willistood 

As  anticln-isliau  and  lewd  ;  ISO 

And  we,  as  sucli  shonid  now  contribute 

Onr  utmost  strngglings  to  prohibit. 

This  said,  they  both  advanc'd,  and  rode 
A  dog-trot  through  the  bawling  crowd 
T'  attack  the  leader,  and  still  |)rest  7J5 

"Pill  they  approach'd  liim  breast  to  breast : 
'riicn  Ilndibras,  with  face  and  hand. 
Made  signs  for  silence  ;*  which  obtain'd, 
What  means,  quoth  he,  this  devil's  procession 
With  men  of  orthodox  profession?  "fit 

'Tis  elhni(pie  and  idolatrous. 
From  heathenism  deriv'd  to  us. 
Does  not  the  whore  of  Bab'lon  ride 
•Jpon  her  horned  beast  astride,t 

Like  this  proud  dame,  who  either  is  7(.J 

A  type  of  lier,  or  she  of  this  ? 
Are  things  of  superstitious  function. 
Fit  to  be  us'd  in  gospel  sun-shine  ? 
It  is  an  antichristian  opera 

IMuch  us'd  in  midniglit  times  of  popery  ;  77* 

A  running  after  self-inventions 
Of  wicked  and  profane  intentions  ; 
To  scandalize  that  sex  for  scolding, 
To  whom  the  saints  are  so  beholden. 
Women,  who  were  our  first  apostles,!  77j 

'.ions.  Mr.  Butler  intimates  that  the  sea  is  less  terrible  thun  a 
scolding  wife. 

*  Ergo  iibi  cnnimota  fcrvet  plebecnla  bile, 

Ferl  animus  c;ili(ia;  I'ccisse  silcntia  turba; 

Majestiite  niiuius.  I'ersius,  Sat.  iv.  6. 

T  See  Revel.Tlion,  xvii.  3. 

J  The  author  of  the  Ladies'  Callinp  ol)serves,  in  his  preface, 

'  It  is  a  nieiDorable  attestation  Clirist  jrivcs  tothepicty  of  women, 
liy  niakins;  Ihcni  the  first  witnesses  of  his  resiirrcctiDn,  the 

■  prime  cvani;elists  to  prnclaiin  these  glad  tidings;  and,  as  a 
'•  learned  man  speaks,  apostles  to  the  apostles."  il=onie  of  the 
Scotch  liitorians  maintain,  that  Ireland  received  Christianity 
from  a  Scotch  woman,  who  fir.<t  instrucird  a  r|ueen  there.  But 
our  poft,  I  suppose,  alludes  to  ihe  zeal  which  the  ladies  showed 
for  the  iroiiil  cause.  The  case  of  Lady  Monson  was  mentioned 
nliovc.  The  women  and  children  worked  with  their  own  hands, 
In  Inrtifying  the  city  <.f  I^or.don,  and  other  towns.  The  women 
of  the  city  went  by  companies  to  fill  up  thetjuarries  in  the -.'real 
nark,  that  they  might  not  harbor  an  enemy  ;  and  being  called  to- 
f;ether  with  a  drum,  marched  into  the  park  with  mattocks  and 

ipades.    Annals  of  Covcntr'-,  MS.  1C43. 


246 


HUDIDRAS.  [Part  ii 


Without  wliose  aid  w'  had  all  been  lost  else  ; 

Women,  that  left  no  stone  untuin'd 

In  wliicli  the  cause  might  be  concern'd  ; 

Brought  in  their  children's  spoons  and  whistles,* 

To  purchase  twords,  carbines,  and  pistols :  78t 

Tlicir  husbands,  cullies,  and  sweetiiearts, 

To  take  the  saints'  and  churches'  parts  ; 

Drew  several  gifted  brethren  in, 

Tliat  for  the  bishops  would  have  been, 

And  fix'd  them  constant  to  the  party,  U'5 

With  motives  powerful  and  hearty  : 

Their  husbands  robb'd  and  made  hard  shifts 

T'  administer  unto  their  giftst 

All  they  could  rap,  and  rend  and  pilfer, 

To  scraps  and  ends  of  gold  and  silver  :  "HO 

Rubb'd  down  the  teachers,  tir'd  and  spent 

With  holding  fortii  for  parliament  ;t 

Pamper'd  and  edify'd  their  zeal 

With  marrow  puddings  many  a  meal : 

Enabled  them,  with  store  of  meat,  735 

On  controverted  points  to  eat  ;§ 

And  cramm'd  them  til!  their  guts  did  ache 

With  caudle,  custard,  and  plum-cake. 

What  have  they  done,  or  what  left  undone, 

That  might  advance  the  cause  at  London  ?  80" 

March'd  rank  and  file,  with  drum  and  ensign, 

T'  entrench  the  city  for  defence  in  : 

*  In  tlie  reiiin  of  Kitharil  II.,  A.  D.  1382,  Henry  le  Spencer, 
bisliop  of  Norwich,  set  up  the  cross,  ami  iimde  a  collection  to 
support  the  cause  of  the  enemies  of  pope  CIcuient.  ColleKerat 
diclus  cpiscopus  inuunicrabileui  et  i-icredihiieni  suinniain  (h-cu- 
ni£E  auri  et  argenti,  alque  jocaliurii,  nioniliuni,  annuloruni,  dis- 
corum,  peciaiuni,  cocliariiuii,  et  alioruMi  orn:inienloruni,  et  prse- 
cipue  lie  dominahus  el  aliis  iiiulienbui.  L'cteui  Scriptorcs,  p 
IG71.     See  also  South,  v.  .13. 

t  Thus,  A.  Cowley,  in  his  Puritan  and  Papist  • 

She  that  can  rob  her  husband,  to  repair 
A  budget  priest  that  noses  a  long  prayer. 

t  Dr.  Echard  in  his  ^Vorks,  says  of  the  preachers  of  those 
liiucs — "ooincrs  of  new  jihrascs,  drawers  out  of  long  codly 
"  words,  thick  pourers  out  of  te.\tsof  Scripture,  mimical  squeak- 
"  ers  and  bcUowers,  vain-glorious  admirers  only  of  themselves. 
"  and  those  of  their  own  fiishioned  fare  and  gesture :  such  as 
"  these  shall  be  followed,  shall  have  their  bushels  of  China 
"  oranges,  shall  be  solaced  with  all  manner  of  cordial  essence.s, 
'■and  shall  be  rubb'd  down  with  Holland  of  ten  shillings  an  ell." 

5  That  is,  to  eat  plentil'ully  of  suc^i  dainties,  of  which  they 
Would  soiiiciiines  controvert  the  lawfulness  to  eat  at  all.  See  1'. 
I.  c.  i.  v.  2-!.J,  and  the  following  lines.  Mr.  Bacon  would  read  the 
last  word  '.rcat. 


Canto  ii.]  IIUDIBRAS.  24"; 

RaisM  rampircs  with  tlicir  own  soft  liaiids,* 

To  j)ut  the  eiuMiiy  to  stu;ids  ; 

From  liullt's  down  to  oyslor-wcnclioa  883 

Luboiir'd  like  pioneers  in  trenches, 

Fell  to  their  pick-axes,  and  tools, 

And  lielp'd  tlie  men  to  dig  like  moles? 

Have  not  the  handmaids  of  the  city 

Choso  of  their  members  a  committee,  810 

For  raisiiiff  of  a  common  purse, 

Out  of  their  wages,  to  raise  horse? 

And  do  tiiey  not  as  triere  sit, 

To  judge  what  officers  are  fit  ? 

Have  they At  that  an  egg  let  fly,  815 

Hit  him  directly  o'er  the  eye, 

And  running  down  his  cheek,  besmear'u, 

Widi  orange-tawny  slime,  his  beard  ; 

Rut  beard  and  slime  being  of  one  hue, 

Tlic  wound  the  less  appcar'd  in  view.  820 

Then  he  that  on  the  panniers  rode, 

Let  fly  on  th'  otlier  side  a  load, 

And  quickly  charg'd  again,  gave  fully, 

In  llalpho's  face,  another  volley. 

The  knight  was  startled  with  the  smell,  8?5 

And  for  his  sword  began  to  feel  ; 

And  Ualpho,  smother"d  with  the  stink, 

Grasp'd  his,  when  one  that  bore  a  link, 

O'  th'  sudden  clapp'd  his  flaming  cudgel. 

Like  linstock,  to  the  horse's  touch-hole  ;t  830 

And  straight  another  with  his  flambeau. 

Gave  Ral])lio,  o'er  the  eyes,  a  dainn'd  blow. 

The  beasts  began  to  kick  and  fling, 

And  forc'd  the  rout  to  make  a  ring  ; 

Thro'  which  they  quickly  broke  their  way,  835 

And  brought  tiiem  olT  from  further  fray  ; 

And  the'  disorder'd  in  retreat, 

Each  of  them  stoutly  kept  his  seat : 

For  quitting  both  their  swords  and  refus. 


*  When  London  wris  expecied  to  lie  attackcil,  and  in  several 
sieves  iliirins;  llie  civil  war.  Ilie  uoincn,  nnd  even  the  ladies  ol 
rank  anil  I'Druinc,  not  only  encimruycd  the  men:  luit  worked  with 
their  own  hand'?.  L:idy  Middle^ex,  I-ady  Foster,  Lady  Anne 
Waller,  and  .Mrs.  Dniith,  have  lieen  |):irliciilarly  ccleiiriled  lor 
their  activity.  'I'he  knijiht's  learned  harangue  is  here  archly  in- 
terrupted by  the  manual  wilulune  who  hits  him  in  theeye  with 
a  rotten  c;ia. 

t  Linstock  is  a  German  word,  sij:nifyins;  the  rod  of  wood  or 
Iron,  with  a  match  at  the  end  o  il,  used  hy  gunners  in  thing 
cannon.    See  V.  i.  i  ii.  v.  843. 


248  IIUDIBRAS.  [I'art  i: 

Tlicy  irrasp'cl  with  all  their  stienglli  liie  manes  ;    844 

And,  to  avoid  the  foe's  pm-siiit, 

With  ppuiiiiig  put  their  cattle  to"t, 

And  till  all  tour  were  out  of  wind, 

And  danger  too,  ne'er  look'd  behind. 

After  they'ad  pans'd  a  while,  sni)plyin5  845 

Their  spirits,  spent  with  fight  and  Hying, 

And  Iludioras  recruited  force 

Of  lungs,  for  actions  or  discourse. 

Quoth  lie,  That  man  is  sure  to  lose 
That  fouls  his  hands  with  dirty  foes  :  S50 

For  where  no  honour's  to  be  gain'd, 
'Tis  thrown  away  in  being  maintain'd : 
'Twas  ill  for  us,  we  had  to  do 
With  so  dishon'rabie  a  foe  : 

For  tho'  the  law  of  arms  doth  bar  855 

The  use  of  venom'd  shot  in  war,* 
Yet  by  the  nauseous  smell,  and  noisome. 
Their  case-shot  savours  strong  of  poison  ; 
And,  doubtless,  have  been  chew'd  with  teeth 
Of  some  that  had  a  stinking  breath  ;  800 

Else  when  we  put  it  to  the  push, 
They  had  not  giv'n  us  such  a  brush  : 
But  as  those  poltroons  that  fling  dirt. 
Do  but  defile,  but  cannot  hurt ; 

So  all  the  honour  I  hey  have  won,  865 

Or  we  have  lost,  is  much  at  one. 
'Twas  well  we  made  so  resolute 
A  brave  retreat,  without  pursuit  ; 
For  if  we  had  not,  we  had  sped 

Much  worse,  to  be  in  triumph  led  ;  870 

Thau  which  the  ancients  held  no  stale 
Of  man's  life  more  unfortunate. 
But  if  this  bold  adventure  e'er 
Do  chance  to  reach  the  widow's  ear, 
It  may,  being  destin'd  to  assert  875 

Her  sex's  honour,  reach  her  heart : 
And  as  such  homely  treats,  they  say. 
Portend  good  fortune. t  so  this  may. 
Vespasian  being  daub'd  with  dirt. 
Was  destin'd  to  the  empire  for't  ;t  880 

*  "  Abusive  laii|;u:i!.'e,  ;tnil  fustian, sire  as  unfair  in  controversy 
■•as  poisoned  arrows  or  clieweil  Imllets  in  battle." 

t  The  oripnal  uf  llie  coarse  provorb  ficre  allmlpd  to,  was  the 
glorious  battle  of  .\/.inu()url.  when  the  Uiialisli  were  so  afflicted 
Willi  the  dysentery  that  most  of  thciii  chose  to  fight  naked  from 
the  girdle  downward. 

t  tiueloniiis,  in  the  life  of  Vespasian,  sect.  v.    says,  "  Cum 


Canto  ji.j  IIUDIBRAS.  049 

And  from  a  scavenger  did  conio 

To  bi  a  mighty  priiico  in  Rome  : 

And  wiiy  may  not  this  foul  address 

Presage  in  love  llic  same  success? 

Then  let  ns  straight,  to  cleanse  our  wounds,  ass 

Advance  in  quest  of  nearest  ponds  ; 

And  after,  as  we  first  design'd, 

Sweai  I've  perform'd  what  she  enjoiu'd. 

"ffdilcin  eiun  C.  Cu^sar  (i.  o.  Cilijiuln)  succcnsens.  Into  jiississct 
''oppleii.con^esto  per  inilitcs  in  pni'lcxIiL"  siuuiii  ;  non  (It'liiciunt 
"  qui  iiUcrprotiirentiir,  qannddqiu-  prdciilcataiii  ile^erliiiiiqiic  reni- 
"  puliliciiiii  civili  iilii|ua  pertuiiialionu  in  lutulaiii  eju^^,  hc  velut 
"  ill  premium  ilevciiluram."  Bui  Dio  I'assius,  witli  all  his  su 
pprsiiiion,  ucknoulediics  that  llie  socret  meaning  of  the  cir- 
cumstances was  not  discovered  till  al'ttr  the  event.  Mr.  Biiller 
mli:ht  here  allude  to  a  story  which  has  been  told  of  Oliver 
CV<iiiiwell,  afterwards  lord  protector.  VVhT>n  young,  he  was  in- 
vited hy  Sir  Oliver  Cromwell,  his  uncle  and  godfather,  to  a  feast 
at  Christmas  ;  and.  indiilaing  his  love  for  Inn,  he  went  to  the  hall 
with  his  hands  and  clothes  husmeared  with  excrement,  to  the 
preat  disgust  of  the  company  :  for  which  the  master  of  misrule, 
or  master  of  the  cerinionlcs  as  he  is  now  called,  ordered  him 
to  be  ducked  in  the  horse-pond.  Memoirs  of  the  Cromwell 
Fasjil\  )i/ Mark  iNuble,  vol  1  p. '.Id,  aud  Date  3  Elcach.  motuiuM. 


PART  il.     CANTO  111. 

THE  ARGUMENT. 

The  Knight,  with  various  doubts  posseet. 

To  win  tlie  Lady  J^oes  in  quest 

Of  Sidrophel  the  Rosy-crucian, 

To  know  tlie  dest'uies'  resolution  : 

Witii  wlioin  being  met,  tiiey  both  chop  JogkJ 

About  the  science  astrologic. 

'Till  falling  from  dispute  to  fight, 

The  conjurer's  worsted  by  the  Kuijjht. 


II  U  D  I  B  R  A  S  . 


CANTO  III.« 

Doubtless  the  pleasure  is  as  great 
Of  being  cheated,  as  to  ciieat  ;t 
As  lookers-ou  feel  most  delight, 
That  least  perceive  a  juggler's  flight, 
And  still  tiie  less  they  understand. 
The  more  th'  adiniro  his  slight  of  hand. 
Some  with  a  noise,  and  greasy  light, 
Are  snapt,  as  men  catch  larks  by  night, t 
Ensnar'd  and  hampcr'd  by  the  soul, 
As  nooses  by  the  legs  catch  fo\vl.§ 
Some,  with  a  med'cine,  and  receipt. 
Are  drawn  to  nibble  at  the  bait  ;|| 


*  As  the  s>iliject  of  this  canto  is  the  disputi!  between  lindibras 
and  an  :istrolot;er,  it  is  prefaced  liy  sniiie  rcflcrtiDns  on  the  cre- 
dulity of  men.  This  exposes  them  to  the  artilices  of  cheats  ana 
impo.sliirs,  not  only  when  disguised  under  the  characters  of  law- 
yers, |)hysici;-.ns,  and  divines,  but  even  in  the  questionable  garb 
of  wizards  and  lortiuie-tellers. 

t  Swift,  in  the  Tale  of  a  Tub,  (digression  on  madness,)  places 
happiness  in  the  condition  of  licin!;  well  deceived,  and  pursues 
the  thought  throuijli  several  pnges.  Aristippus  being  desired  tc 
resolve  a  riddle,  replied,  that  it  would  be  absurd  to  resolve  that 
which  unresolved  ulliirded  so  mucli  pleasure. 

cui  sic  extorta  voluptas, 

Et  dcmptus  per  vim  mentis  gralissiintis  error. 

Ilor.  lib.  ii.  cjiist.  ii.  140. 

t  This  alludes  to  tlie  morning  and  evening  lectures,  which,  in 
those  times  of  prelenile<l  reformation  and  godliness,  were  deliv- 
ered by  candle-light,  in  many  churches,  for  a  great  part  of  the 
year.  To  m.iintain,  and  frequent  these,  was  deemed  liie  great- 
est evidence  of  religion  and  sanctity.  'J'he  gifted  preachers  were 
very  loud.  The  simile  is  taken  from  the  nielliod  of  catching 
larks  at  night  in  some  countries,  by  means  of  a  low-bell  and  a 
Ught. 

ft  Woodcocks,  and  some  other  birds,  are  caught  in  springes. 

11  Are  cheated  of  their  money  by  (juacks  and  mountebanks, 
wlio  boast  of  nostrums  and  infallible  receipts.  Even  persons 
who  ought  to  have  more  discernment  are  vometimes  taken  in  by 
these  cozeners.    In  later  times,  the  admirers  of  animal  magnet 


252  lirDluilAS.  [Part  u. 

And  tlio'  it  be  a  two-foot  trout, 
'Tis  with  a  single  hair  \ni\\'d  out.* 

Others  believe  no  voice  I"  an  organ  IS 

So  sweet  as  lawyer's  in  his  bar-gown,T 
Until,  with  subtle  cobweb-cheats, 
They're  catch'd  in  knotted  law,  like  nets  ; 
In  which,  when  ouce  they  are  inibrangled, 
The  more  they  stir,  the  more  they're  tangled  ;        20 
And  while  their  purses  can  disjjute, 
There's  no  end  of  th'  immortal  suit. 

Others  still  gape  t'  anticipate 
The  cabinet  designs  of  fate,t 

Apply  to  wizards,  to  foresee  25 

What  shall,  and  what  shall  never  be  ;§ 
And  as  those  vultures  do  forebode, || 
Believe  events  prove  bad  or  good. 
A  flam  more  senseless  than  the  roguery 
Of  old  aruspicy  and  aug'ry.lT  30 

That  out  of  garbages  of  cattle 


Isni  would  probably  have  ranked  with  this  order  of  wiseacres, 
and  been  proper  olijects  of  Mr.  Butler's  satire. 

*  That  is,  tlioujih  it  be  a  sensible  man,  and  one  as  unlikely  to 
be  catched  by  a  iiiedicine  and  a  receii)t,  as  a  trout  two  feet  long 
to  be  pulled  out  by  a  single  hair. 

t  In  the  hope  ol"  prmnised  success  many  are  led  into  broils  and 
suits,  from  which  they  are  not  able  to  extricate  themselves  till 
they  are  quite  ruined.  See  Amndanus  Marcellinus,  lib.  xxx. 
cap.  4,  where  the  evil  practices  of  the  lawyers  under  Valens  and 
Valentinian,  are  stron-ily  and  inimitably  pointed  :  hajipy  would 
it  be  for  the  world,  if  the  picture  had  not  its  likeness  in  modern 
times,  but  was  confined  to  the  decline  of  the  Roman  empire. 

t  A  natural  desire ;  but  if  too  much  indulged,  a  notable  instance 
of  human  weakness. 

5        O  Liiertiade,  quicquid  dicam  aut  erit,  aut  non. 
Divinare  etenim  niagnus  mihi  donat  Apollo. 

Ilorat.  Sat.  lib.  ii.  Sat.  v.  v.  59. 

II  Vultures,  birds  of  prey,  are  here  put  figuratively  for  astrolo- 
gers: or  the  word  may  be  used  equivocally,  as  soothsayers  took 
their  omens  from  eagles,  vultures,  ravens,  and  such  birds. 

If  Aruspicy  was  a  kind  of  divination  by  sacrifice;  by  the  be- 
havior of  the  beast  before  it  was  slain  ;  by  entrails  after  it  was 
opened  ;  or  by  the  flanjes  while  it  was  burning.  Augury  was  a 
divination  from  appearances  in  the  heavens,  from  thunder,  light- 
ning, &o.,  but  more  couunonly  from  birds,  their  (light,  chattering, 
uianoer  of  feeding,  &.C.    Thus  Ovid: 

Ila-c  mihi  non  oviuni  fibra>,  tonitrusve  sinistri, 
Linguave  servata;,  pennave,  dixit  avis. 

Ovid.  Trist.  lib.  i.  elcg.  vni.  4'J. 

Mirarl  se  ajebat  M.  Cato,  quod  non  rideret  haruspex,  haras 
picem  cum  vidisset.  Tullius  de  Divinat.  ii.  24;  et  de  Natnra 
Deonim  i.  "C. 


Canto  m  J  IIUDIBUAS.  253 

Presag'd  tli'  events  of  truce  or  battio  ; 

From  fliglit  of  birds,  or  cliickens  peckinjr, 

Success  of  great'st  iittempts  would  reckon  : 

Tlio'  cheats,  yet  more  iutelligiblo  35 

Than  those  tliat  with  tlio  stars  do  fribble. 

This  Iludibras  by  proof  found  true. 

As  in  duo  time  and  place  we'll  shew : 

For  he,  with  beard  and  face  made  clean, 

Beincr  mounted  on  his  steed  again,  40 

And  Ralpho  got  a  cock-horse  too, 

Upon  his  beast,  with  much  ado, 

Advanc"d  on  for  the  widow's  house, 

T'  acquit  himself,  and  pay  his  vows  ; 

When  various  thoughts  began  to  bustle,  tS 

And  with  his  inward  man  to  justle. 

He  thought  what  danger  might  accrue. 

If  she  should  find  he  swore  untrue  : 

Or  if  his  squire  or  he  should  fail. 

And  not  be  [)inictual  in  their  tale,  SO 

It  might  at  once  the  ruin  prove 

Both  of  his  honour,  faith,  and  love 

But  if  lie  should  forbear  to  go. 

She  might  conclude  be'ad  broke  his  vow  ; 

And  that  he  durst  not  now,  for  shame,  35 

Appear  in  court  to  try  iiis  claim. 

Tliis  was  the  penn'worth  of  his  thought, 

To  pass  time,  and  uneasy  trot. 

Quoth  he.  In  all  my  past  adventures 
I  ne'er  was  set  so  on  the  tenters,  00 

Or  taken  tardy  witli  dilemma. 
That,  ev'ry  way  I  turn,  docs  hem  me, 
And  with  inextricable  doubt, 
Besets  my  puzzled  wits  about: 

For  though  the  dame  has  been  my  bail,  25 

To  free  me  from  enchanted  jail, 
Yet,  as  a  dog  committed  close 
For  some  ofFence,  by  chance  breaks  loose. 
And  quits  his  clog ;  but  all  in  vain, 
He  still  draws  after  him  his  chain  :*  70 


*  Persiiis  applies  this  simile  to  the  case  of  a  person  who  is 
well  inclined,  but  cannot  resolve  to  be  unil'urmly  virtuous. 

Nee  tu,  cum  olistiteris  semcl,  instantlque  negaris 
Parere  iiiiporio,  rupi  jam  vincula,  dicas: 
Nam  el  luctata  canis  nudum  arripit;  attanien  illi, 
Cum  fuglt,  a  collu  Iruhilur  pars  longa  catente. 

gat.  V.  V.  157. 


jj54  HUDIBRAS  rPARTn 

So  tho'  my  ancle  s  le  as  quitted, 

]\Iy  heart  conliuues  still  committed  ; 

And  like  a  bail'd  and  mainpriz'd  lover,* 

Altho'  at  large,  I  am  bound  over  : 

And  when  I  shall  appear  in  court  7J 

To  plead  my  cause,  and  answer  for't. 

Unless  the  judge  do  partial  prove, 

What  will  become  of  ma  and  love  ? 

For  if  in  our  accounts  we  vary, 

Or  but  in  circumstance  miscarry  ;  80 

Or  if  she  put  me  to  strict  ))roof, 

And  make  me  pull  my  doublet  off, 

To  shew,  by  evident  record. 

Writ  on  my  skin,  I've  kept  my  word. 

How  can  I  e'er  expect  to  have  her,  65 

Having  demurr'd  unto  her  favour  ? 

But  faith,  and  love,  and  honour  lost, 

Shall  be  reduc'd  t'  a  knight  o'  th'  post  :t 

Beside,  that  stripping  may  prevent 

What  I'm  to  prove  by  argument,  90 

And  justify  I  have  a  tail. 

And  that  way,  too,  my  proof  may  fail. 

Oh  !  that  I  could  enucleate, t 

And  solve  the  problems  of  my  fate  ; 

Or  find,  by  necromantic  art.§  95 

How  far  the  dest'nies  take  my  part ; 

Yet  triumph  not ;  say  not,  my  hands  are  broke. 

And  I  no  more  go  subject  to  the  yoke  ; 

Alas !  the  striiizsling  dog  breiiks  loo-e  in  vain, 

Whose  neck  still  drugs  along  a  trailing  length  of  chain. 

Brewster. 

Petrarch  has  applied  this  simile  to  love,  as  well  as  our  au- 
thor. 

*  Miiinprized  signifies  one  delivered  by  the  judge  into  the  ens 
tody  of  such  as  shall  undertake  to  see  him  forthcoming  at  ti.f 
day  appointed. 

t  This  is,  one  who  in  court,  or  before  a  magistrate,  will  swear 
as  he  hath  been  previously  directed.  I  nave  somewherfc''read 
that  such  persons  formerly  plied  about  the  portico  in  the  Temple, 
and  from  thence  were  culled  knights  of  the  post  ;  and  knights, 
perhaps,  from  ihe  knight'  templars  being  buried  in  the  a<ljoining 
church.  [A  hireling  evidence  :  a  knighl  dubbed  at  the  whipping- 
post, or  pillory.    Johnson's  Dictionary  by  Todd.] 

%  E.xplain,  or  open  ;  an  expression  taken  from  the  cracking  of 
a  nut. 

$  Necromancy,  or  the  black  art,  as  it  is  vulgarly  called,  is  the 
faculty  of  revealing  future  events,  from  consultation  with  de- 
mons, or  with  depirted  spirits.  It  is  called  the  black  art,  be- 
cause the  ignorant  writers  of  the  middle  age,  mistaking  the 
etymology,  write  it  nigromantia:  or  because  the  devil  was  paic'. 
ed  black. 


CANTO  ni.J  IIUDIBRAS.  25i 

For  if  I  were  not  more  tlian  certain 

To  win  and  wear  her,  and  iier  fortune, 

I'd  go  no  fartlicr  in  this  coiirtsliip, 

To  liazard  soul,  estate  and  worsliip :  00 

For  tiio'  an  oatii  obliges  not, 

Wiiero  any  thing  is  to  be  got,* 

As  thou  hast  prov'd,  yet  'tis  profane, 

And  sinful,  wlicn  men  swear  in  vain. 

Quoth  Ralph,  Not  far  from  hence  ddth  dwell      103 
A  cunning  man,  bight  Sidropliel,1' 
That  deals  in  destiny's  dark  counsels. 
And  sago  opinions  of  the  moon  sells,! 
To  whom  all  people  far  and  near, 
On  deep  importances  repair  :  lid 

When  brass  and  pewter  bap  to  stray. 
And  linen  slinks  out  of  the  way  ; 
When  geese  and  pullen  are  scduc'd,^ 
And  sows  of  sucking  pigs  are  cbows'd ; 
Wiien  cattle  feel  indisposition,  li: 

And  need  the  opinion  of  physician  ; 
When  murrain  reigns  in  bogs  or  sheep, 
And  chickens  languish  of  tlic  pip  ; 
When  yeast  and  outward  means  do  fail, 
And  have  no  pow'r  to  work  on  ale  ;  .  20 

When  butter  does  refuse  to  come,|l 
And  love  proves  cross  and  humoursome  ; 

*  The  notions  of  the  dissenters  with  regard  to  this,  and  other 
points  of  a  lilis  nature,  are  stated  more  ai  large  in  some  prece- 
ding cantos. 

t  Sonic  liave  thought  that  the  character  of  Sidrophcl  was  in- 
tended for  Sir  Paul  Neal ;  but  the  author,  iirohalily,  here  meant 
it  fur  William  Lilly,  the^  famous  astrologer  and  almanac  maker, 
who  at  times  sided  with  the  parliament.  He  was  consulted  by 
the  royalists,  with  the  king's  privity,  whether  the  king  should 
escape  from  Hampton-court,  whether  he  should  sign  the  propo- 
sitions of  the  parliament,  &c.,  and  liad  twenty  pounds  for  his 
opinion.  See  the  life  of  A.  Wood,  Oxford,  177'2,  pp.  101, 102,  and 
I 's  own  life,  in  which  are  many  curious  jiarticulars.  Till  the 
king's  affairs  declined  he  was  a  cavalier,  but  after  the  year  1643 
he  engaged  body  and  soul  in  the  causi;  of  the  parliament :  he 
was  one  of  the  close  commiitee  to  consult  about  the  king's  exe- 
cution. At  the  latter  end  of  his  life  he  resided  at  tlersham,  in 
the  parish  of  Walton-upon-Thames,  practised  physic,  and  went 
often  to  Kingston  to  attend  his  patients.  But  probably  the  most 
profitable  trade  ofDee,  Kelly,  Lilly,  and  others  of  that  class, 
was  that  of  spies,  which  they  were  for  any  country  or  party 
that  employed  them.  JJight,  that  is  called,  from  the  A.  S.  hataa 
to  call. 

t  i.  e.  the  omens  which  he  collects  from  the  appearance  of  the 
tnoon. 

<i  Pu'.len,  that  is,  poultr)'. 

R  When  a  country  wench,  says  Mr.  Selden  in  his  Table  Talk, 
22 


256 


nUDIBRAS.  IPartii 


To  lum  with  questions,  and  with  urine, 
They  for  discov'ry  flock,  or  curing. 

Quoth  Hudibrus,  This  Sidrophel  121 

I've  heard  of,  and  siiou'd  hke  it  well, 
If  thou  canst  prove  the  saints  have  freedom 
To  go  to  sorc'rers  when  they  need  'em.* 

Says  Ralpho,  There's  no  doubt  of  that; 
Those  principles  I've  quoted  late,  130 

Prove  that  the  godly  may  allege 
For  any  thing  their  privilege. 
And  to  the  devil  himself  may  go, 
if  they  have  motives  thereunto : 

For  as  there  is  a  war  between  135 

The  dev'l  and  them,  it  is  no  sin 
If  they,  by  subtle  stratagem.t 
Make  use  of  him,  as  he  does  them. 
Has  not  this  present  parl'ament 

A  ledger  to  the  devil  sent,!  140 

Fully  empower'd  to  treat  about 
Finding  revolted  witches  out?§ 
And  has  not  he,  within  a  year, 
Hang'd  threescore  of  'em  in  one  shire  ?|| 
Some  only  for  not  being  drown'd,  145 

And  some  for  sitting  above  ground. 
Whole  days  and  nights  upon  their  breeches. 
Not  feeling  pain,  were  hang'd  for  witches  ; 
And  some  for  putting  knavish  tricks 
Upon  green  geese  and  turkey-chicks,  15*) 

Or  pigs,  that  suddenly  deceast. 
Of  griefs  unnat'ral,  as  he  guest ; 

tannot  get  her  butter  to  come,  she  says  the  witch  is  in  the 
churn. 

*  It  was  a  question  much  agitated  about  the  year  1570,  Utruro 
liceat  honiini  christiano  sortiariorum  operft  et  auxilio  uti. 

t  Dolus  an  Virtus,  quis  in  hoste  requint  ? 

i  That  is,  an  aniliassailor.  The  person  meant  was  Hopkins, 
the  noted  witcli-finder  for  the  associated  counties. 

6  That  is,  revolted  from  the  ivirliament. 

(I  It  is  incredilile  what  a  numlier  of  poor,  sick,  and  decrepit 
wretches  were  put  to  death,  under  the  pretence  of  their  being 
witches.  Hopkins  occasioned  tlireescore  to  be  hung  in  one  year, 
in  the  county  of  Sutfolk.  See  Dr.  Hutchinson,  p.  51).  Dr.  Grey 
gays,  he  has  seen  an  account  of  between  three  and  four  tliousand 
that  suftered,  in  the  king's  dominions,  from  the  year  Ki-lO  to  the 
king's  restoration.  "  In  December,  1G49,"  says  Whitelock,  "  n/iny 
"  witches  were  apprehended.  The  witch-lrier  taking  a  pin,  and 
■*  thrusting  it  into-lhe  skin  in  many  parts  of  their  bodies;  if  they 
''were  insensible  of  it,  it  was  a  circumstance  of  proof  against 
"them.  Oclobe/,  1G5-2,  sixty  were  accused:  much  malice,  little 
"proof;  though  Ihcy  were  tortured  many  ways  to  make  tbeon 
'  confess." 


Canto  in.]  IIUDIBRAS.  257 

Who  after  prov'd  himself  a  witch, 

Anrl  made  a  rod  for  his  own  brcecii  * 

Did  not  the  dev'l  appear  to  Martin  155 

Luther  in  Germany  for  certain  ?t 

And  vvou'd  liavo  gulTd  him  witli  a  trick, 

But  Mart  was  too,  too  politick 

Did  he  not  iielp  the  Dutcli  to  purge, 

At  Antwerp,  their  cathedral  church ?t  100 

Sing  catches  to  tiic  saints  at  Mascon,^ 

And  tell  them  all  they  came  to  ask  him? 

Appear  in  divers  shapes  to  Kelly, || 

And  speak  i'  th'  nun  of  Loudon's  belly  ?f 

*  Dr.  Iltitchinson.  in  his  Historic:il  Essay  on  Witchcraft,  page 
CO,  tells  us,  "  that  the  country,  tired  of  the  cruelties  con)niilled  by 
"Hiipkins,  tried  him  liy  his  own  system.  Tliey  tied  his  thumbs 
"and  toes,  as  he  used  to  do  others,  and  threw  him  into  the  water  ; 
"  when  lie  swam  like  the  rest." 

t  Luther,  in  his  book  de  Missft  private,  says  he  was  persuaded 
to  preach  against  tlie  mass  hy  reasons  suggeste<l  to  him  l)y  the 
devil,  in  a  disputation.  Melchiiir  Adamus  says  the  devil  appear- 
ed to  Luther  in  his  own  earden,  in  the  shape  of  a  black  boar. 
And  tlie  Cnlloquia  inensalia  relate,  that  wlien  Luther  was  in 
his  chamber,  in  the  castle  at  VVurtsburgh,  the  devil  cracked  some 
nuts  which  he  had  in  a  bo.\  upon  the  bed-post,  tumbled  empty 
barrels  down  stairs.  &,c. 

t  In  the  beginning  (if  the  civil  war  in  Flanders,  the  common 
people  at  .Vnlwerp  broke  open  the  cathedral  church,  and  destroy- 
ed the  ornaments.  Strada,  in  his  book  de  Hello  Belgico,  says, 
that  "  several  devils  were  seen  to  assist  them;  without  whose 
"aid  it  would  have  been  impossible,  in  so  short  a  time,  to  have 
"done  so  much  mischief." 

^  Mascon  is  a  town  in  Unrgundy,  where  an  unclean  devil,  as 
he  was  called,  played  his  pranks  in  the  house  of  Mr.  I'erreand, 
a  reformed  minister,  ann.  ](il2.  Sometimes  he  sang  psalms,  at 
others  bawdy  vVrses.  Mr.  Perreand  published  a  circumst-intiai 
account  of  hiin  in  French,  which  at  the  request  of  Mr.  Boyle, 
who  had  heard  the  matter  attested  by  Perreand  himself,  w.is 
translated  into  English  by  Dr.  Peter  <Ie  Moulin.  'J'he  poet  calls 
them  saints,  because  they  were  of  the  Geneva  persuasion. 

II  Pee  Notes  to  lines  235-7-8.  It  may  be  proper  to  observe,  thai 
the  persons  here  instanced  had  made  more  than  ordinary  preten 
sions  to  sanctity,  or  bore  some  near  relation  to  religion.  On  this 
circumstance  Kalpho  founds  his  argument  for  the  lawfulness  of 
the  practi^-e,  that  saints  may  converse  with  the  devil.  Dr.  Ca- 
saubon  ini()rms  us  that  Dee,  who  was  associated  with  Kelly,  em 
ployed  himself  in  prayer  and  other  acts  of  devotion,  before  he 
entered  upon  his  conversation  with  spirits.  "  Oratione  dominicd 
"  finild.  et  morit  aliqua  inlerposita,  ct  aliquot  ex  psallerioprecibus 
"recilatis." 

1i  Sir  Kenelin  Digby,  in  his  Treatise  on  the  Sympathetic  Pow- 
der, says,  '•  I  could  make  a  notable  recital  of  such  passions  thai 
"  happened  to  the  nuns  at  Loudon  ;  but  having  done  it  in  a  )mi  - 
"  ticular  discourse,  at  my  return  from  that  country,  in  which  1 
"as  e.vactly  as  I  could,  (liscussed  the  point,  I  will  lorbear  speak- 
''  ing  thereof  at  this  lime."  Grandier,  the  curate  <  f  London,  was 
')rderei>  to  be  burned  alive,  A.  D.  I(i34,  by  a  set  rf  judges  com- 
miaiioncd  and  ii  tiuenced  by  Kichelieu ;  and  the  prioress,  with 


258  nUDIBRAS  [Pari  . 

Meet  with  the  parl'ament's  committee,  165 

At  Woodstock,  oil  a  pers'nal  treaty  ?* 

At  Sarum  take  a  cavalier, t 

I'  th'  cause's  service,  prisoner? 

As  Withers,  in  immortal  rhyme, 

Has  register'd  to  after-time.  170 

Do  not  .our  great  reformers  use 

This  Sio'ropliel  to  forebode  news  ;t 

To  write  of  victories  next  year, 

And  castles  taken,  yet  i'  th'  air? 

Of  battles  fought  at  sea,  and  ships  175 

Sunk,  two  years  heuce,  the  last  eclipse  ?^ 


half  tlie  nuns  in  the  convent,  were  obliged  to  own  themsef  ;es 
bewitched.  The  prioress  declared,  that  when  the  devil  who  had 
possessed  her  had  quitted  her  body,  an  angel  impressed  upon  her 
hand  the  words  Jesus  Maria  Joseph  F  de  Salis.  Mr.  Moconnois 
made  her  a  long  visil,  and  she  showed  him  the  letters.  He 
scratched  off  a  part  of  them,  and  supposed  them  to  have  been 
made  with  blood  and  starch.  Grandier  was  a  handsome  man, 
ind  very  eloquent.  Such  migic  kad  fascinated  the  prioress,  and 
subjected  the  nuns  to  their  violent  ardors.  See  Bayle's  Dic- 
tionary, Art.  Grandier ;  and  Dr.  Hutchinson's  Historical  Essay  on 
Witchcraft,  p.  31. 

*  Dr.  Plot,  in  his  History  of  Oxfordshire,  th.  viii.,  tells  us  how 
the  devil,  or  some  evil  spirit,  disturbed  the  connnissioners  at 
Woodstock,  whither  they  went  to  value  the  crown  lands,  Octo 
ber,  1(14!).*  A  personal  treaty  was  very  much  desired  by  the 
king,  and  often  pressed  and  petitioned  for  by  great  part  of  the  na- 
tion. Tlie  poel  insinuiiles,  that  though  the  parliament  refused 
to  hold  a  personal  treaty  with  the  king,  yet  they  scrupled  not  to 
hold  one  with  the  devil  at  Woodstock.  [Readers,  of  al'  ages 
and  classes  of  the  present  day,  are  familiar  with  the  devil's 
pranks  at  Woodstock,  through  the  agency  of  that  great  and 
fascinating  magician  Walter  Scott,  who,  following  the  mighty 
Shakspeare,  makes  poetry  and  romance  the  two  entertaining 
Bubsti lutes  for  the  more  ""honesi"  chronicles  of  history.  He  has 
also  introduced  us  to  the  Lescus  of  line  233  in  his  romance  of 
Kenilworih.] 

t  Withers  has  a  long  story,  in  doggerel  verse,  of  a  soldiei  of 
the  king's  army,  who  being  a  prisoner  at  Salisbury,  and  drinking 
a  health  to  the  devil  upon  his  knees,  was  carried  away  by  him 
through  a  single  p:ine  of  glass. 

t  Lilly,  Hooker,  Culpepper,  and  others,  were  employed  to  fore- 
tcl  victories  on  the  siile  of  the  parliament.  Lilly  was  a  time- 
serving rascal,  who  hesitated  at  no  means  of  getting  money.  See 
his  life,  written  by  himself. 

^  Suppose  we  read  since  the  last  eclipse,  or  suppose  we  point 
it  '.bus: 

Sunk  two  years  since  the  last  eclipse  : 
Lilly  grcmnded  lying  predictions  on  that  event.     Dr.  Grey  says 
his  reputation  was  lost  upon  the  false  prognostic  on  the  eclipse 

•  See  ilie  Jnsi  DcvilnrWoiuistock,  or  nirue  immiive  of  ilie  several  Appari- 
•.icii«,  tlie  Kritrliis  ami  I'linislimeiils  ititijcieil  upon  l he  riimpi.-li  Cornlnlss:oncr^ 
-yT.'iiir.;i;  Wi.lcms,  in:isror  of  llie  free  rcIiooI  al  Nonlileiicli,  Gloiicesiersliire 
II  Wis  iii.i  pni.ie.l  III!  1660,  Tliuii^h  (lie  ilaiepui  toil  is  If^.  See  U  «hop  of  Pa 
l*iboroii^li*6  Ke^ibie.  aikI  Chronicle 


Canto  m.J  IIUDII3RAS  258 

A  total  o'ertlirow  giv'n  tlio  king 
In  Connviill,  horse  and  foot,  next  spring?* 
And  has  not  he  point-blank  foretold 
Wliats'e'er  the  close  committee  would  ?  181 

Made  Mars  and  Saturn  for  the  cause,t 
The  Moon  for  fundamental  laws, 
Tlie  Ram,  the  Bull,  the  Goat,  declare 
Against  the  book  of  cominou  prayer? 
The  Scorpion  take  the  protestation,  *eS 

And  Bear  engage  for  reformation  ; 
Made  all  the  royal  stars  recant. 
Compound,  and  take  the  covenant  ?t 
Quoth  Iludibras,  The  case  is  clear 
The  saints  may  'niploy  a  conjurer,  190 

As  thou  hast  proved  it  by  their  practice; 
No  argument  like  matter  of  fact  is: 
And  we  are  best  of  all  led  to 
Men's  principles,  by  what  they  do. 
Then  let  us  strait  advance  in  quest  19S 

Of  this  i)rofound  gymuosopliist,§ 
And  as  the  fates  and  he  advise, 
Pui-sue,  or  wave  this  enterprise. 
This  said,  he  tiu'n'd  about  his  steed, 
And  eftsoons  on  th'  adventure  rid  :  200 

Where  leave  we  him  and  lialph  awhile, 
And  to  the  Conj'rer  turn  our  style, 


that  was  to  happen  on  the  29th  of  March,  1652,  commonly  called 
Itlack  Mondiiy,  in  which  his  predictions  not  being  fully  answer- 
ed, Mr.  Heath  iiliscrves,  (('hronicle,  p.  210 :,"  That  he  was  re- 
garded no  more  lor  the  future,  than  one  of  his  own  worthless 
almanacs." 

*  It  is  certain  that  the  parliament,  in  their  reports  of  victories, 
neither  ohst  rved  time  or  place.  Cleveland,  in  his  character  of  a 
London  diurnal,  p.  113,  says  of  Lord  Stamford  :  "This  cubit  and 
half  of  a  commander,  by  the  help  of  a  diurnal,  routed  the  enemies 
fifty  miles  off."  The  subject  here  is  not  false  reports,  but  false 
predictions:  the  direct  contrary  liap|)ened  to  what  is  here  said; 
the  king  overthrew  the  parliamentarians  in  Cornwall. 

t  Made  the  |)lanets  and  constellations  side  wilh  the  parlia- 
ment; or,  as  bishop  Warburton  ol)serves,  the  planets  and  sif;ns 
here  recapitulated  may  signify  the  .several  leaders  of  the  parlia- 
mentary army — Esse.\,  Fairfax,  and  others. 

;  The  auilior  here  evidently  alludes  to  Charles,  elector  pala- 
tine of  the  lUilne,  and  to  king  Charles  the  Second,  who  both  took 
the  covenant. 

^  The  L'ymnosophists  were  a  sect  of  philosophers  in  India,  so 
called  from  their  going  naked.  They  were  much  respected  for 
(heir  profound  knowledge;  and  held  in  the  same  estiniatlon 
Rniong  Iheir  countrymen  as  the  Chald-in  among  the  Assy.'ians, 
the  »la;>!  amonj;  the  I'erslaus  and  the  Druitts  among  the  Gatik 
vid  Uritons 


260  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  ii 

To  let  our  readci  undcrstuud 

What's  useful  of  liini  beforehand. 

He  hud  been  long  t'wards  mathematics,  205 

Optics,  philosophy,  aiid  statics. 

Magic,  iioroscopy,  astrology, 

And  was  old  dog  at  physiology  ; 

But  as  a  dog,  that  turns  the  spit,* 

Bestirs  himself  and  plies  his  feet  21C 

To  climb  the  wheel,  but  all  in  vain, 

His  own  weight  brings  him  down  again  ; 

And  still  he's  in  the  self-same  place 

Where  at  his  setting  out  he  was : 

So  in  the  circle  of  the  arts  215 

Did  he  advance  his  nat'ral  parts, 

Till  falling  back  still,  for  retreat. 

He  fell  to  juggle,  cant,  and  cheat  :t 

For  as  those  lowls  that  live  in  water 

Are  never  wet,  he  did  but  smatter ;  22ii 

Whate'er  he  labour'd  to  appear, 

His  understanding  still  was  clear  ;t 

Yet  none  a  deeper  knowledge  boasted, 

Since  old  Hodge  Bacon,  and  Bob  Grostcd.§ 

Th'  intelligible  world  he  kuew,l|  22i 

And  all  men  dream  on't  to  be  true, 

That  in  this  world  there's  not  a  wart 


♦  Mr.  Prior's  simile  seems  to  have  been  suggested  by  this  pas 
sage : 

Dear  Tlioinas,  diilst  tlinu  never  see 

("Tis  l)Ut  Uy  way  i)f  simile) 

A  squirrel  spenil  liis  liltle  rage 

In  juiiiping  romul  a  rolling  cage? 

But  here  or  tlieie,  turn  wood  or  wire, 

He  never  gels  two  inches  liigher. 

So  fares  it  with  those  merry  blades 

Tluit  frisJi  it  under  I'indus'  shades, 
t  The  account  here  given  of  William  Lilly  agrees  e.xaciry 
with  his  life  written  by  liiniself. 
i  (;iear,  that  is,  empty. 

^  Roger  Bacon,  a  Franci<-can  friar  flourished  in  the  thirteenth 
century.  His  penetration  in  most  branches  of  (ihilosophy  was 
the  wonder  of  the  age.  Hayle  says  lie  wrote  a  hundred  books, 
many  of  them  upon  astronomy,  geometry,  and  medicine.  Robert 
Grostcd,  or  Grossa  Testa,  lived  nearly  at  the  same  lime  with 
Bacon.  He  wrote  some  treatises  on  astronomy  and  mathemat- 
ics ;  but  his  works  were  chiefly  theological.  Several  books  were 
translated  by  him  from  the  Greek  language ;  which  if  any  un- 
derstooil  in  that  age,  he  was  sure,  as  tirasmus  says,  to  be  laker, 
for  a  conjuror. 

11  The  intelligible  world  is  spoken  of,  by  some  persons,  as  the 
model  or  prototype  of  the  visible  world.  See  1*.  i.  c.  i.  v.  53i 
and  note. 


«:anto  111.]  IIUDIBRAS.  2«l 

That  lias  not  there  a  counterpart 

Nor  can  there,  on  tlio  face  of  ground, 

An  individual  beard  be  found  Q30 

That  has  not  in  tiiat  foreign  nation, 

A  fellow  of  the  self-same  fasliion  ; 

Sj  cut,  so  colour'd.  and  so  curl'd. 

As  thoso  are  in  tii'  inferior  world. 

Hc'ad  read  Dee's  prefaces  before  233 

The  devil  and  Euclid  o'er  and  o'er;* 

And  all  th'  intrigues  'Iwixt  him  and  Kelly, 

Lescus  and  th'  emperor,  wou'd  tell  ye:t 

But  with  the  moon  was  more  familiar 


*  Dr.  John  Dee,  a  Welshman,  was  admitted  to  the  degree  of 
M.  A.  and  hada  lesliiiioniiil  Cniiii  the  nniversily  ofCiimliiiclge  in 
l.'>48.  He  was  ()resenie<l  liy  Edward  VI.  to  llie  living  of  Upton  upon 
Severn,  in  Worrestcrsliirc,  in  ilic^  year  l.")J2,  when  Jolin  Ijarley 
was  made  l)isliiipor  llerclbrd.  lie  gained  great  I'mie  at  tlie  lime 
oC  Eliy.alielli  and  .lames  I.,  l)y  hi-;  knowledge  in  mathematics; 
Tyclio  Bralie  gives  him  the  title  of  pra-stantissimus  malhemati- 
cus;  and  Camden  calls  him  nol)ilis  mathemalicus.  He  wrote  a 
preface  to  Enclid,  and  to  Billingsley's  d'eomeiry,  Episiola  pra;- 
fixa  Kphemeridi  .hdiannis  Felde,  I.m";  Epist(da  ad  Conimandi- 
num  pra.'fi\a  llliello  de  superliclorum  divisionilms,  1.5*0;  and 
perhaps  in  the  whole  not  less  than  (ilty  treatises.  Ije  began 
early  to  have  the  reputation  of  a  conjuror;  of  which  he  griev- 
ously complains  in  his  preface  to  Euclid.  This  report,  and  his 
pretended  transactions  with  spirits,  gave  the  poet  occasion  to 
call  it  Dee's  preface  before  the  devil. 

t  Kelly  was  born  at  Worcester,  and  bred  to  the  business  of  an 
apothecary  there,  about  the  year  15.5.J.  Sometimes  he  is  called 
Talbot.  He  was  a  famous  alchymist,  and  Dee's  assistant,  his 
seer  or  skryer,  as  he  calls  him.  Uriel,  one  of  their  chief  spirits, 
was  the  promoter  of  lliis  connection.  Soon  after  a  learned  I'o- 
Ionian,  All)ert  Alaski,  prince  of  Sirad,  whom  Mr.  Butler  calls 
Lesrii'!,  c:ime  into  England,  formed  an  acquaintance  with  Dee 
anil  Kelly,  and,  when  he  left  this  country,  took  them  and  their 
families  with  him  into  Poland.  Next  to  Kelly,  he  was  the  great- 
est confidant  <if  Dee  in  his  secret  transactions.  Camden  speaks 
of  this  Le.-cus  in  his  Annals,  1583.  "E  Polonia  Russia;  vicina, 
"  hac  a'late  venit  in  Angli.uu  Albertus  Alasco,  Palatinus  Siradi- 
"ensis  vir  cruditus,  barba  promisissinia,"  &c.  From  Poland, 
Dee  and  Kelly,  after  some  time,  removed  to  Pr.igne.  They  were 
entertained  by  the  emperor  Kodolph  II.,  discloseil  to  hini  some 
of  their  chymical  secret^,  and  showed  hiui  the  wonderful  stone. 
The  emperor,  in  return,  treated  them  with  great  respect.  Kelly 
was  knighted  by  him.  but  afterwards  imprisoned  ;  and  he  died 
in  1.587.  Dee  had  received  some  advantageous  oflers,  it  is  said, 
from  the  king  of  France,  the  emperor  of  Muscovy,  and  several 
foreign  princes.  Perhaps  he  had  given  theiri  some  specimens 
>f  his  service  in  the  capacity  of  a  spy.  However,  he  returned 
t>  England,  and  died  very  poor,  at  Slorlbike  in  Surrey,  in  the 

year  1(1118,  aged  81.    icou'J  till  ye: — In  the  author's  editioa 

it  is  printed.  "  would  vut  tell  ye."  'I'o  raise  the  L'reater  opinion 
of  his  knowledge,  he  would  pretend  to  make  a  secret  of  Ihingl 
7/hich  he  did  net  understand. 


1562  HUDIBRAS  [I'Ain  i. 

Than  e'er  *as  almanac  well-wilier;*  240 

Her  secrets  understood  so  clcnr, 

That  some  believ'd  he  had  been  there ; 

Knew  wlien  she  was  in  fittest  mood 

For  cutting  corns,  or  letting  blood  ;t 

When  for  anointing  scabs  and  itciies,  245 

Or  to  the  bum  applying  leeches  ; 

When  sows  and  bitches  may  be  spay'd, 

And  in  what  sign  best  cider's  made  ; 

Whether  the  wane  be,  or  increase, 

Best  to  set  garlic,  or  sow  pease  ;  250 

Who  first  found  out  the  man  i'  th'  moon, 

Tliat  to  the  ancients  was  unknown ; 

How  many  dukes,  and  earls,  and  peers, 

Are  in  the  planetary  spheres. 

Their  airy  empire,  and  command,  25'' 

Their  sev  ral  strengths  by  sea  and  land  ; 

What  factions  tliey've,  and  what  they  drive  at 

In  public  vogue,  or  what  in  private  ; 

With  what  designs  and  interests 

Each  party  manages  contests.  2fi0 

He  made  an  instrument  to  know 

If  the  moon  shine  at  full,  or  no  ; 

That  would,  as  soon  as  e'er  she  shone,  straight 

Whether  'twere  day  or  night  demonstrate  ; 

Tell  what  her  d'anieter  to  an  inch  is,  SOh 

And  prove  that  she's  not  made  of  green  cheese. 

It  wou'd  demonstrate,  that  the  man  in 

The  moon's  a  sea  mediterranean  ;t 

And  that  it  is  no  dog  nor  bitch 

That  stands  behind  him  at  his  breech,  270 

*  The  almanac  makers  styled  themselves  well-willers  to  the 
mathematics,  or  philomaths. 

t  Resi)ectiiig  these  and  other  matters  mentioned  in  the  fol 
lowin:;  lines,  Lilly  and  the  old  almanac  makers  gave  particulai 
lirect'ions.  It  appears  frnin  various  calenikirs  still  preserved, 
not  to  mention  the  works  of  Hesiod,  and  the  apotclesms  of  Ma- 
netho,  Maximus,  anil  .hilius  Firmicus,  that  astrologers  among 
the  Greeks  and  Romans  conceived  some  planetary  hours  to  be 
especially  favorable  to  the  operations  of  husbandry  and  physic. 

t  The  light  of  the  sun  being  unequally  reflected,  and  some 
(»:irt<  of  the  moon  appearing  more  fully  illuminated  than  others, 
on  the  supposition  of  the  moon's  being  a  terrM()ueoHs  globe,  it  is 
thought  that  the  brighter  parts  are  land,  anil  the  darker  water 
This  instrument,  therefore,  would  give  a  more  distinct  view  of 
tliosc  dusky  ti'.'iires,  which  had  vulgarly  been  called  the  man  in 
the  miHin.and  di-^cover  them  to  be  branches  of  the  sea.  In  the  Se- 
lenography of  Florontius  Langrenus  Johannes  Uevelius,  and 
others,  the  dark  parts  are  disiinguished  by  the  names  of  mare 
crisium,  uiare  sercuilalis,  oceanus  prDcellarum.  &e. 


lAS-ro  III  j  ilUDIBRAS.  263 

But  a  huge  Caspian  sea  or  lake, 
Willi  anus,  wliicli  men  for  legs  mistake  ; 
How  largo  a  guljili  his  tail  composes, 
And  what  a  goodly  bay  his  nose  is  ; 
*    How  many  German  leagues  by  tli'  scale,  87i 

Capo  snout's  from  promontory  tail. 
He  made  a  planetary  gin. 
Which  rats  would  run  their  own  heads  in. 
And  come  on  purpose  to  be  taken 
Without  th'  c.vpencc  of  ciieese  or  bacon  ;  28fl 

With  iule-slriugs  he  would  counterfeit 
Maggots,  thr.t  crawl  on  dish  of  meat  ;* 
Quote  moles  and  spots  on  any  place 
O'  th'  bod)',  by  the  index  face  ;+ 
Detect  lost  maidenheads  by  sneezing,!  283 

Or  breaking  wind  of  dames,  or  jiissing  ; 
Cure  warts  and  corns,  with  ap])lication 
Of  med'cincs  to  th'  nnagination  ; 
Fright  agues  into  dogs,  and  scare, 
Willi  rhymes,  the  tooth-ach  and  catarrh  ;§  290 

Cliase  evil  spirits  away  by  dint 


*  Tlic  sni:ill  strings  of  a  fidille  or  lute,  cut  iiilo  short  pieces, 
anil  slrcwed  upon  wunn  nijal,  will  contract,  and  apiiear  like  live 
lliafi'^ots. 

t  "Sonic  physioiinoniers  have  conceited  the  hciiil  of  man  ta 
'  be  the  iiUKlel  of  tlie  whule  boily  ;  so  tliat  any  mark  tlicre  will 
"  have  a  corresponding  one  on  some  part  of  the  body."  See 
Lilly's  life. 

t  Dcmocritus  is  said  to  have  pronounced  more  nicely  on  the 
maid  servant  of  Hippocrates.  "  l'uella'i|ue  vitium  solo  aspectu 
"  deprcbcnili(."  Yet  the  eyes  of  Denmcritus  were  scarcely  more 
acute  and  miIjIIc  than  tlie  ears  of  Albertus  ftlagnus:  "  nee  minus 
'•  vncis  nuU:Ui(incni  ol)  eandem  fere  cau^ani :  quo  taiituiii  signo 
"  feruiit  Albertum  Magnum,  ex  mu<ei)  suo,  iiuollani.ex  vinopolio 
"  vinuui  pro  hero  deportinieni.  in  itinerc  vitialam  fuisse  depre- 
'■  hendisse ;  (piud,  in  reditu  subinde,  cantantis  ex  Mcuta  ir  gravi- 
■orem  mulat:im  vocem  agnovisset."  Gasper  a  Reies,  in  elysio 
jucnnd.  qu;estion.  ^ainpo.  Ijilly  professed  this  art,  and  said  no 
woman,  tliat  he  fo  md  a  maid,  ever  twitted  liiin  with  his  being 
mistaken. 

5  Butler  seems  to  have  raked  together  many  of  the  baits  for 
human  credulity  which  his  reading  could  furnish,  or  he  had 
ever  heard  mentioned.  These  charms  for  tooili-ache  and  coughs 
were  well  known  tothecouunon  people  a  few  years  since.  The 
\vr)rd  nirncn(//i/)rn.  for  fevers,  is  as  old  as  SaniMU'iiicus,  Ifaut 
iaut  hl.tta  pisla  vista,  were  recommended  for  a  sprain  by  Cato. 
[Cato  prodidit  Uixatis  menibris  carmen  auxili;irc.  IMin.  Hist.  Nat 
rxviii.J  liiirncr  relate-i,  that  the  sous  of  .'Vulolyous  stopped  ths 
bleeding  of  Ulysses's  wou.id  by  a  charm.  Sec  Odyss  xix.  '157, 
ind  Barnes'  Notes  and  Scholia: 


'Eax'^o- 


iraoiijj  i5'  U'/ji  KtA-jiit'dv 


J54  ITUDlBRAS.  TPart  n 

Of  sickle,  liorseslioe,  liollow  flint  ;* 

Spit  fire  out  of  a  wulnut-sheil, 

Which  made  tlio  Roman  slaves  rebel  ;1 

And  fire  a  mine  in  China  here,  293 

With  sympathetic  gunpowder. 

He  knew  whats'ever's  to  be  known. 

But  much  more  than  he  knew  would  own. 

What  med'clne  'twas  that  Paracelsus 

Could  make  a  man  with,  as  he  tells  us  ;*  30C 

What  figur'd  slates  are  best  to  make, 

On  wat'ry  surface  duck  or  drake  ;§ 

What  bowling-stones,  in  running  race 

Upon  a  board,  have  swiftest  pace  ; 

Whether  a  pulse  beat  in  the. black  303 

List  of  a  dappled  louse's  back  ;|1 


*  These  concave  ini|ilenients,  particularly  the  horse-shoe,  we 
have  nl'len  seen  nailed  to  the  threshold  of  doors  in  the  country, 
in  order  to  chase  away  evil  spirits. 

\  Lucius  Florus,  Livy,  and  other  historians,  cive  the  following 
account  of  the  orijiin  of  the  servile  war.  There  was  a  great 
number  of  slaves  in  Sicily,  and  one  of  them,  a  Syrian,  called 
Eunus,  encouraged  his  companions,  at  the  order  of  the  gods,  as 
he  said,  to  free  themselves  hy  arms.  He  filled  a  nutshell  with 
fire  and  sulphur,  anil  holding  it  in  his  mouth,  breathed  out  Hames, 
when  he  spoke  to  them,  in  proof  of  his  divine  commission.  By 
this  deception  he  mustered  more  than  40,0fi0  persons. 

t  That  pliilosopher,  and  others,  thought  that  man  might  be 
generated  without  connection  of  the  se.xes.  See  this  idea  ridi- 
culed by  Rabelais,  lib.  ii.  ch.  27.  "  Et  celeberrinuis  Athanasius 
"  Kircherus,  libro  secundo  mundi  subterranei  pra?clare  et  solidis 
"  rationibus,  refutavit  stuUitiam  nugatoris  Paracelsi,qui  (de  gen- 
"erat.  rerum  naturalium,  lib.  i.)  copiose  admodum  docere  voluit 
"ridiculam  meihodum  genenindi  homunciones  in  vasis  chemi- 
'•  corum."  P.  '3S,  Franc.  Redi  de  generat.  insectoruni.  The  poet 
probably  had  in  view  Bulwer's  Artificial  Changeling,  who  at 
page  490,  gives  a  full  account  of  this  matter,  both  from  Paracel 
sus  and  others. 

§  The  poet,  by  mentioning  this  play  of  children,  means  to  in- 
timate that  Sidrojihel  was  a  smatterer  in  natural  philosophy, 
knew  something  of  the  laws  of  motion  and  gravity,  though  all 
he  arrived  at  was  but  childish  play,  no  better  than  making  ducks 
and  drakes. 

!|  See  Sparrmann's  Voyage  to  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope.  vol.  ii. 
p.  iail.  It  was  the  fashion  with  the  wits  of  our  author's  time  to 
rilicule  the  transactions  of  the  Royal  Society.  Mr.  Butler  here 
indulges  his  vein  hy  bantering;  their  microscopic  discoveries.  At 
present  every  one  must  be  inclined  to  adopt  the  jenttment  ol 
Co  vley : 

Miscliicf  and  true  dishonor  fall  on  those 

\Vho  would  to  laughter  or  to  scorn  e.xpose 

So  virtuous  and  so  noble  a  design. 

So  h'l.ii-n  for  its  uie,  for  knowledge  so  divine. 

'J'he  [11.1..;^  v.liich  these  proud  men  despise,  and  caD 

linpe/tinent,  and  vain,  and  small, 


Cajxto  iif.J  IIUDIBRAS  205 

If  systole  or  diastole  movo 

Quickest  wlica  lie's  in  wrath,  or  love  ;* 

When  two  of  tlierii  do  run  a  race, 

Whether  they  gallop,  trot,  or  pace  ;  ilQ 

How  many  scores  a  flee  will  jump, 

Of  his  own  length,  from  head  to  rump.t 

Whicli  Socrates  and  ChaMcphon 

In  vain  assay'd  so  long  agone  ; 

Whether  his  snout  a  perfect  nose  is,  315 

And  not  an  clei)i'.ant's  prohoscis  ;t 

How  many  dilV'rent  specieses 

(_)f  maggots  hreed  in  rotlen  cheeses  ; 

And  wliicii  are  next  of  kin  to  those 

Engendered  in  a  chandler's  nose  ;  3S.0 

Or  those  not  seen,  but  understood, 

That  live  in  vinegar  and  wood.§ 

A  paltry  wretch  he  had,  half  stai-\''d, 


Those  smallest  things  of  nature  let  me  know, 
Riilher  tliiin  all  their  t'reatest  actions  do  1 

The  learned  and  ingenious  Bishop  Iliird  delivers  his  opinion 
I     Ihis  p;(ssage  in  two  lines  from  I'cipe  : 

But  sense  survived  when  merry  jests  were  past, 
For  rising  merit  will  liuoy  up  at  last. 

*  Systole  the  contraction,  and  diastole  the  dilatation,  of  the 
iwilt,  are  motions  of  that  organ  by  means  of  which  the  circula- 
tiii.i  of  the  blood  is  effected.  The  passions  of  the  mind  have  a 
sen:i)l>le  influence  on  the  animal  economy.  Some  of  them,  fear 
and  sorrow,  chill  the  lilood  and  retard  its  progress.  Other  pas- 
sions, and  especially  anger  and  love,  accelerate  its  motion,  and 
cause  fjc  pulse  to  heat  with  adilitional  strength  and  quickness. 

t  Aiiuophanes,  in  his  comedy  of  the  Clouds,  Act  i.  sc.  2,  in 
troduces  a  scholar  of  Socrates  describing  the  method  in  which 
Socrates,  and  his  friend  Chfrephon,  endeavored  to  ascertain 
how  manv  lengths  of  his  own  feet  a  flea  will  jump. — t^vXXav 
birdauvi  a^AoiTo  Toli  aVTTji  rdouf,  quot  pedes  sutis  pulex  salta- 
ret.  They  tiid  not  measure,  as  (uir  author  says,  by  the  length  n( 
the  body  ;  'hey  dipped  the  feet  of  the  flea  in  melted  wax,  which 
presently  hardeneil  into  shoes  ;  these  they  took  olV,  and  meas- 
ured the  leap  of  the  flea  with  them.  It  is  probable  that  this 
representation  had  been  received  with  pleasure  by  the  enemies 
(if  Socrates.  In  the  banquet  of  Xcnophon  the  suiiject  is  t;tken 
up  by  one  of  the  company  :  tiAA'  tir/  iiot,  vSauvi  i/.uXX.j  ndSaf 
ifiov  anix^'-  Ttivra  yap  at  (pnai  ytw/itrptji' — and  is  dismisspd  by 
Socrates  with  a  kind  of  cool  conlempt.  Plato  somewhere  alludes 
to  the  same  jest.  A  flea  had  jumped  from  the  for<'head  of  Ch.'e- 
lephon  to  the  head  of  Socrates,  which  intrriduced  the  in(|uiry. 

*  Microscopic  inquirers  tell  us  that  a  flea  has  a  proboscis. 
lomewhat  like  that  of  an  elephant,  but  not  quite  .so  large. 

$  The  pungency  of  vinegar  is  said,  by  some,  to  arise  from  th« 
bites  of  animalcules  which  are  contained  in  it.  J'or  these  dis- 
toveries  see  Hook's  micographical  observations. 


iQli  Hl'DIBRAS.  [Part  l 

Tlmt  him  in  place  of  Zany  serv'd,* 

Hight  Wliaclium,  bred  to  dasii  and  craw,  3'2£ 

Not  wine,  but  more  unwholesome  law  ; 

To  make  'twixt  words  and  lines  liuge  gaps,f 

Wide  as  meridians  in  maps  ; 

To  squander  paper,  and  spare  ink, 

Or  cheat  men  of  their  words,  some  think  33») 

From  this  by  merited  degrees 

He'd  to  more  high  advanceujent  rise, 

To  be  an  imder-coujurer, 

Or  journeyman  astrologer  : 

His  bus'ness  was  to  pump  and  wheedle,  335 

And  men  with  their  own  keys  unriddle  ;t 

To  make  thcin  to  themselves  give  answers. 

For  which  they  pay  tlie  necromancers  ; 

To  fetch  and  carry  intelligence 

Of  whom,  and  what,  and  where,  and  whence,       340 

And  all  discoveries  disperse 

Among  til'  whole  pack  of  conjurers  ; 

What  cut-purses  have  left  with  them, 

For  the  right  owners  to  redeem, 

And  what  they  dare  not  vent,  find  out,  34.-» 

To  gain  themselves  and  th'  art  repute  ; 

Draw  figures,  schemes,  and  horoscopes. 


*  A  Zany  is  a  Iniffiion,  or  Merry  Andrew,  designed  to  assist 
the  quick,  as  tlie  biillail-singer  does  the  cut-piirse  or  pickpocket. 
Some  have  supposed  tliis  character  of  VVhachum  to  have  Iteen 
intended  for  one  Tom  Jones,  a  foolish  Welshman.  Others  think 
it  was  meant  for  Richard  Green,  who  published  a  pamphlet  en 
titled  "  Hudibras  in  a  snare."  The  word  zany  is  derived  by 
some  from  the  Greek  aaivai,  a  fool,  tsovvoj  ;  (see  Eustath.  ad. 
Odyss.  xxii,  and  Meur^ii  Glossar.  Graco-barb.,)  by  others  from  the 
Venetian  Zani,  abbreviated  from  giovanni. 

t  As  the  way  of  lawyers  is  in  their  bills  and  answers  in  chan 
eery,  where  they  are  paid  so  much  a  sheet. 

]  Menti^eniu*,  in  his  book  de  Charlataneria  Eruditorum,  ed 
Amst.  1747,  p.  192,  tells  this  story:  Jactabat  empiricus  quidam, 
se  ex  solo  urina;  aspectu  non  solum  de  morbis  onmibus,  sed  etde 
illorum  causis,  qua;cunque  deiuum  ilia;  fuerint.  sive  nalura,  sive 
8ors  tulisset,  certissime  cognoscere  ;  interim  ille  ita  instrtixerat 
servulos  suos,  ut  callide  homines  ad  se  acccdcntes  explorarent, 
et  de  Ills,  quK  comperta  habercnt,  clam  ad  se  referrent. — Acce 
dit  mulier  paupercula  cum  lotio  mariti,  quo  vix  viso,  maritus 
tun.?,  inquit,  per  scalas  donnis  infau^to  casu  decidit.  Tum  ilia 
admirabunda,  isludne,  ait,  ex  urina  intelligis  7  Imo  vero,  inquit 
empiricus,  et  nisi  me  omnia  fallunt,  per  quinderim  scalic  gradus 
delapsus  est.  At  cum  ilia,  ulique  vii.'inti  se  numeras-e  rcferret, 
hie  velut  indignatus  qurcrit :  nuiu  omnem  secnm  urinam  atlulis- 
set :  atque,  ilia  negante,  quod  vasculum  materiam  omnem  non 
caperet :  itaque,  ait,  etfudisti  cum  urina  quinqiie  gradus  illos, 
qui  niihi  ad  nuiiierum  deerant.— 1  wonder  this  story  escaped  Dr, 
Qrey. 


4>iro  III.]  IIUDIBRAS.  or: 

Of  Newgate,  Bridewell,  brokers'  sliops. 

Of  thieves  ascendant  in  the  cart,* 

And  find  ont  all  by  rules  of  art  :  351 

\Vlii(-h  way  a  servinfj-nian,  that's  rnn 

VV'ith  clothes  or  money  away,  is  gone  ; 

Who  pick'd  a  fob  at  liolding-forth, 

And  where  a  watch,  for  half  tiie  worth, 

May  bo  redcem'd  ;  or  stolen  plate  355 

Restor'd  at  conscionablo  rate. 

Hesido  all  this,  he  serv'd  liis  master 

la  quality  of  poetaster. 

And  rhymes  appropriate  could  inake 

To  ev'ry  month  i'  th'  almanack  ;  36U 

When  terms  begin,  and  end,  could  tell, 

With  their  returns,  in  doggerel  ; 

When  the  e.xchequer  opes  and  shuts. 

And  sowgelder  with  safety  cuts  ; 

When  men  may  eat  and  driuk  their  fill,  365 

And  when  bo  temp'rate,  if  they  will  ; 

When  use,  and  when  abstain  from  vice, 

Figs,  grapes,  phlebotomy,  and  spice. 

And  as  in  prisons  mean  rogues  beat 

Hemp  for  the  service  of  the  great,+  370 

So  Whachum  beat  his  dirty  brains 

T'  advance  his  master's  fame  and  gains, 

And  like  the  devil's  oracles. 

Put  into  dogg'rel  rhymes  his  spells, t 

Which,  over  ev'ry  month's  blank  page  375 

I'  th'  almanack,  strange  bilks  presage. § 

He  would  an  elegy  compose 

On  maggots  squeez'd  out  of  his  nose  ; 

In  lyric  numbei-s  write  an  ode  on 

His  mistress,  eating  a  black-pudding ;  380 

And,  when  imprison'd  air  escaped  her, 

It  puft  him  with  poetic  r-\pture: 

His  sonnets  charm'd  th'  attentive  crowd, 

By  wide-mouth'd  mortal  troll'd  aloud. 

That,  circled  with  his  long-ear'd  guests,  385 

*  .Ascendant,  a  term  in  astrolony,  is  here  equivocal. 

t  Petty  rii(.'iies  in  Briilewell  pound  hemp  ;  and  it  may  happen 
/i;\t  the  proikti.e  of  their  labor  is  employed  in  halters,  in  which 
gri'aier  criminals  ,Tre  hanged. 

t  I'lulirch  has  a  whole  treatise  to  discuss  the  question,  why 
\pollo  h.Td  ceased  to  deliver  his  oracles  in  verse  :  which  brings 
Dn  an  incidi'nt;il  inquiry  why  his  language  was  often  bail,  and 
his  verses  defective. 

^  Bilk  is  a  (jothic  word,  signifying  a  cheat  or  fraud:  it  signi 
fies  ILkewise  lo  baulk  or  disappoint 

as 


268  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  a 

Like  Orjdieus,  lock'd  among  the  beasts: 

A  cariniiii's  liorse  could  not  pass  by, 

But  stood  ty'd  up  to  poetry  : 

No  porter's  burden  pass'd  along, 

IJut  serv'd  for  burden  to  bis  song  391 

Each  window  hke  a  pill'ry  appears, 

Witli  beads  thrust  tnro'  nail'd  by  the  ears  ; 

Ail  trades  run  in  as  to  the  sight 

Of  monsters,  or  their  dear  delight. 

The  gallow-tree,*  when  cutting  purse  383 

Breeds  bus'ness  for  heroic  verse, 

Which  none  does  hear,  but  would  have  hung 

T'  have  been  the  theme  of  such  a  song.t 

Those  two  togetiier  long  had  liv'd, 
In  mansion,  prudently  contriv'd,  400 

Where  neither  tree  nor  liouse  could  bar 
The  free  detection  of  a  star  ; 
And  nigh  an  ancient  obelisk 
Was  rais'd  by  him,  found  out  by  Fisk, 
On  which  was  written  not  in  words,  405 

But  hieroglyphic  mute  of  birds, t 
Many  rare  pithy  saws,  concerning^ 
The  worth  of  astrologic  learning : 

*  Thus  Cleveland,  in  his  poem  entitled  the  Rebel  Scot: 
A  Scot  when  from  the  gallow-tree  Rot  loose, 
Drops  into  Styx,  and  turns  a  Soland  goose, 
f  The  author  perhiips  recollected  some  lines  in  Sir  John  Den 
ham's  poem  on  the  trial  and  death  of  the  earl  of  Strafford  : 
Such  was  his  force  of  eloquence,  to  make 
The  hearers  more  concern'd  than  he  that  spake  ; 
Each  seem'd  to  act  that  part  he  came  to  see, 
And  none  was  more  a  looker  on  than  he  ; 
So  did  he  move  our  passion?,  some  were  known 
To  vvi^h,  for  the  defence,  the  crime  their  own. 
When  Mars  and  Venus  were  surprised  in  Vulcan's  net,  and 
the  deities  were  assembled  to  see  them,  Ovid  says  : 

ali(iuis  de  dis  non  tristibus  optet 

Sic  fieri  turi)is Mctamorph.  lib.  iv.  187. 

t  Fisk  was  a  quack  physician  and  astrologer  of  that  time,  and 
an  acquaintance  of  William  Lilly,  the  almanac  linker  and  prog 
noslicator.  "  In  the  year  1(503,"  says  Lilly  in  his  own  life,  "  I 
"became  acq  tainted  with  Nicholas  Fisk,  licentiate  in  physic, 
"  born  in  Suffolk,  fit  for,  but  not  sent  to,  the  university.  Study- 
"ing  at  home  astrology  and  physic,  which  he  afterwards  prac- 
"  Used  at  Colchester  :"  He  had  a  pension  from  the  parliament; 
ftnd  during  the  civil  war,  and  the  whole  of  the  usurpation,  prog 
nosticate<r  on  that  side.  [Mute.  The  dung  of  birds.  Todd  in 
his  edition  of  Johnson,  with  this  passage  quoted.] 

5  Piihy,  that  is,  nervous,  witty,  full  of  sense  and  meaning, 
Ukfc  a  [iroverb.    Saw  that  is,  say,  or  saying,  from  A.  S     Duaglaf 


Canto  hi. J  IIUDIBRAS.  269 

From  top  of  this  tlicre  liuiifr  ;i  rojic, 

To  which  he  lasten'd  telescope  ;*  41C 

Tlie  spectacles  with  which  tlio  stars 

Ho  reads  in  smallest  characters. 

It  h:ii)peiied  as  a  boy,  one  night. 

Did  (iy  his  tarsel  of  a  kitp,t 

The  strangest  long-wing'd  hawk  that  flies  413 

That,  like  a  bird  of  Paradise, 

Or  herald's  martlet,  has  no  leg.«,} 

Nor  liatclie*;  yonng  onetr,  nor  lays  eggs  ; 

His  train  was  six  yards  long,  milk  white, 

At  th'  end  of  which  Ihero  hung  a  light,  420 

Enclos'd  in  lanthorn  made  of  paper, 


applies  it  lo  any  saying,  (p.  143,  v.  ,'52,)  and  once  in  a  bad  sense 
to  indecent  language: 

Nu  ri<t  with  sleath,  and  many  unseemly  saw 
Quhare  schanie  is  loisi.  P.  90,  v.  15. 

*  Uefracting  telescopes  were  formerly  so  constructed  as  to  re- 
qnire  such  an  awkward  apparatus,  llngenius  invented  a  teles- 
cope without  a  tube.  The  oliject  glass  was  fixed  to  a  long  pole, 
and  its  a.vis  directed  towards  any  object  by  a  string,  which  pass- 
ed down  from  the  glass  above  to  the  eye-glass  below.  He  pre- 
sente<l  to  the  Royal  Society  an  object  glass  of  one  liundred  and 
twenty-three  I'eet  focal  distance,  with  an  apparatus  belonging  tii 
it,  which  he  had  niaile  himself.  It  is  described  in  his  Astroco- 
pia  conipendiaria  tubi  optici  molimine  llberata,  Hague,  lt)84. 

t  Tiersel,  or  tiercelet,  as  the  French  call  the  male  hawk, 
which  is  less  in  the  body  by  a  thiril  part  than  the  female,  from 
whence  it  hath  the  name.  Lord  Uacon  says  it  is  stronger  and 
more  courageous  than  the  female. 

t  The  bird  of  I'aradise,  or  the  Pica  Paradissa  of  Linnjcus. 
The  manucodiata  of  Edwards  and  Ray.  The  Portuguese  first 
saw  them  in  Gilolo,  Papua,  and  New  Cuinea  :  many  idle  fables 
have  been  propagated  concerning  these  birds,  among  which  are 
to  be  reckoned,  that  they  have  no  feet,  pass  their  lives  in  the 
uir  and  feed  on  that  element:  but  it  is  found  that  the  feet  are 
cutoir,  that  the  birds  may  dry  the  better,  and  the  scapular  feath- 
ers prevent  their  silting  on  trees  in  windy  weather.  Natural- 
ists describe  many  species,  but  the  Paradisa-a  apoilo,  or  greater 
bird  of  Parailise  is  generally  about  two  feet  in  length.  i?ee  La- 
tham, Syn.  ii.  47.  Inde.\,  i.  1(14,  and  Essay  on  India,  by  Jtilin 
Reinhold  Forster,  p.  17.  Martlets  are  painted  by  the  heralds 
without  legs,  or  with  very  short  ones,  scarcely  visible.  In  Le 
Blanc's  Travels,  p.  ll.'>,  we  are  told  of  the  birds  of  Paradise,  that 
:hey  are  kept  in  a  cage  in  the  Sultan's  garden,  and  are  though!; 
by  Europeans  to  h:;ve  no  legs.  Lord  Hacon  has  the  follDWing 
passage  in  his  \Vr..ks,  fol.  vol.  iv.  p.  325:  "  The  second  reason 
'  that  made  me  silent  was,  because  this  suspicion  and  rumour 
''of  undertaking  settles  upon  no  person  rerta'n:  it  is  like  the 
'  bii-ds  of  paradise,  that  they  have  in  the  Indies,  that  have  no 
*  feet,  and  therefore  never  light  upon  any  place,  but  the  wind 
'carries  them  away.  And  such  a  thing  I  take  this  rumour  to 
"he."  Pliny,  in  his  Natura  History,  has  a  chapter  de  ApodibuB 
lib,  X  c'ii.  Z'X 


270  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  u 

That  fai  off  like  a  star  did  appear : 

This  Sidrophe!  by  chance  esj)y'd, 

And  with  amazement  staring  wide  : 

Bless  us,  quolii  he,  what  dreadful  wonder  4iS 

Is  that  appears  in  heaven  yonder  ? 

A  comet,  and  without  a  beard  I 

Or  star,  that  ne"er  before  appear'd  I 

I'm  certain  'tis  not  in  the  scrowl 

Of  all  those  beasts,  and  fish,  and  fowl,*  430 

With  which,  like  Indian  plantations, 

The  learned  stock  the  constellations  •,f 

Nor  those  that,  drawn  for  signs,  have  been 

To  th'  houses  where  the  planets  inn.t 

It  must  be  supernatural,  ■135 

Unless  it  be  that  cannon-ball 

That,  shot  i'  the  air,  point-blank  upright, 

Was  borne  to  that  prodigious  height, 

That,  learn'd  philosophers  maintain, 

It  ne'er  came  backwards  down  again,§  410 

But  in  the  airy  regions  yet 

Hangs,  like  the  body  o'  Mahomet  :|| 


*  Astronomers,  for  the  help  of  their  memory,  anil  to  avoid 
jiving  names  to  every  star  in  purticular,  have  divided  them  into 
constellations  oi  companies,  which  they  have  distinguished  hy 
the  names  of  several  beasts,  birds,  fishes,  &c.,  as  they  fall  with- 
in the  compass  which  the  forms  of  these  creatures  reach  to 
Butler,  in  his  Genuine  Remains,  vul.  i.  page  9,  says : 

Since  from  the  greatest  to  the  least, 
All  other  stars  and  constellations 
ilave  cattle  of  all  sorts  of  nations. 

This  distribution  of  the  stars  is  very  ancient.  Tully  mention; 
it  from  Aratus,  in  nearly  the  same  terms  which  are  used  in  oui 
astronomical  tables.  The  divisions  are  called  houses  by  the  as- 
trologers. 

t  Cosmographers,  in  their  descriptions  of  the  world,  when 
they  found  many  vast  places,  whereof  they  knew  nothing,  are 
used  to  fill  the  same  with  an  account  of  Indian  plantations, 
strange  birds,  beasts,  &c.  So  historians  and  poets,  says  Plutarch, 
embroider  and  intermix  the  tales  of  ancient  times  with  fictions 
and  fabulous  discoveries. 

X  Signs,  a  pirn  between  signs  for  public  houses,  and  signs  or 
constellations  in  the  heavens.  Aratus  an<l  Eratosthenes.— The 
Ca'asterismoi  of  the  latter,  printed  at  the  end  of  Fell's  .Aratus, 
are  nearly  as  old  as  Aratus  himself.  See  also  Hall's  Virgidemi- 
arum,  book  ii.  Sat.  vii.  v.  29. 

§  Some  foreign  philoso|)hers  directed  a  cannon  against  the 
jenith;  and,  having  tired  it,  could  not  lind  where  the  ball  fell 
from  whence  it  was  conjectured  to  have  stuck  in  the  moon      1>3« 
Cartp-i  imagined  that  the  ball  remained  in  the  air 

II  The  impr(iliable  story  of  .Mahomet's  body  being  suspended 
in  an  iron  (sliest,  between  two  great  loadstones,  is  refuted  bv  Mr 
Sandys  and  f)r.  I'rideaux 


r«Nro  III]  ilUDIBUAS.  271 

For  if  it  be  above  the  shade, 

That  by  tlie  earth's  round  bulk  is  meido', 

'Tis  ])robuble  it  may  from  far,  iiS 

Appear  no  bullet,  but  a  star. 

This  said,  he  to  his  engine  Sew, 
Plac'd  near  at  hand,  in  open  view, 
And  rais'd  it,  till  it  levell'd  right 

Against  the  glow-worm  tail  of  kits  ;*  451 

Then  peeping  thro'.  Bless  us  I  quoth  he, 
It  is  a  planet  now  I  see  ; 
And,  if  I  err  not,  by  his  proper 
Figure,  tiiat's  like  tobacco-stopper,"! 
It  should  be  Saturn  :  yes,  'tis  clear  45r 

'Tis  Saturn  ;  but  what  makes  liim  tl.ers  ? 
He's  got  between  the  Dragon's  tail. 
And  farther  leg  behind  o'  tli'  Whale  ;{ 
Pray  heav'n  divert  the  fatal  omen, 
For  "tis  a  |)rodigy  not  common,  400 

And  can  no  less  than  tiie  world's  end. 
Or  nature's  funeral,  portend. 
With  that,  he  fell  again  to  pry 
Thro'  perspeciive  more  wistfully, 
When,  by  mischance,  the  fatal  string,  4G5 

That  kept  the  tuw'ring  fowl  on  wing, 
Breaking,  down  fell  the  star.     Well  shot, 
Quoth  Whachum,  who  rigiit  wisely  thought 
He'  ad  Icvell'd  at  a  star,  and  hit  it ; 
But  Sidrophel,  more  subtle-witled,  470 

Cry'd  out.  What  horrible  and  fearful 
Portent  is  this,  to  see  a  star  fall  ! 
It  threatens  nature,  and  the  doom 
Will  not  be  long  before  ii  come  I 

*  The  luminous  part  of  the  ■;lnw-worm  is  the  tail. 

t  This  alludes  to  the  syiulitii  which  astronomers  use  to  denote 
the  pliinct  Saturn  (  ^),  anil  asl!olo<;crs  use  a  sign  not  much  un- 
like it.  It  is  no  wonder  Sidrophel  should  he  puzzled  to  know 
for  certain  whether  it  was  Saturn  or  not,  as  the  phases  of  Saturn 
arc  very  various  and  extraordinary,  and  long  perplexed  the  as- 
tronomers, uln  could  not  divine  the  nica-.iin!:  of  such  irregular- 
ity: thus  Ilevelius  ohservcs,  that  he  appears  sometimes  mono- 
tphcrical.  soiuptiiiies  Irisyherical,  sphcrico-.msnted,  elli/itico-an- 
tated, -.inii  splierico-cuspidatcd ;  hut  Uiiysionr.  reduced  all  these 
phases  to  three  principal  ones,  round,  brac/iiutcd,  and  anaatcd. 
See  ("hamhcrs's  Dictionary,  art.  Saturn. 

t  Sidrophel,  the  slai-eazer,  names  any  two  constellations  he 
can  think  of:  or  rather  the  poet  dc-isns't.T  make  him  hlunder, 
Dy  fixing  on  those  which  are  far  distant  from  each  other,  on 
diJTerent  sides  of  the  equator;  and  also  hy  talkini!  of  the 
whale's  hinder  leg.  On  some  old  glohes  the  whale  is  described 
With  legH. 


272  IIUDIBUAS.  [Part  a 

When  stars  do  fall,  'tis  plain  enough  47J 

Tlie  day  of  judgment's  not  far  ofT; 

As  lately  'twas  roveal'd  to  Sedgwick,* 

And  some  of  ns  find  out  by  niagick; 

Then,  since  the  time  we  have  to  live 

In  this  world's  shorlen'd,  let  us  strive  48fl 

To  make  our  best  advantage  of  it. 

And  pay  our  losses  with  our  j)rofit. 

Tills  feat  fell  cut  not  long  before 
The  Knight,  upon  the  forenam'd  score. 
In  quest  of  Sidrophel  advancing,  4S5 

Was  now  in  i)ro.-pcct  of  the  mansion  ; 
Whom  he  discov'ring,  turn'd  his  glass. 
And  foui.d  far  off 'twas  Hudibras. 

WhachuiP-,  quDth  he,  Look  yonder,  some 
To  tr\-  or  use  our  art  are  come :  400 

The  one's  tiie  learned  Knight ;  seek  out, 
And  pump  'em  what  they  come  about. 
Whachum  advanc'd,  with  all  submiss'ncss 
T'  accost  'em,  but  much  more  their  business: 
He  held  the  stirrup,  while  the  Knigiit  495 

From  leathern  bare-bones  did  alight ; 
And,  taking  from  his  hand  the  bridle, 
Approach'd  the  dark  Squire  to  unriddle. 
He  gave  him  first  the  time  o'  th'  day,t 
And  welcom'd  him,  as  he  might  say:  50(1 

He  ask'd  him  whence  they  came,  and  whither 
Their  business  lay?     Quoth  Kalpho,  Hither. 
Did  you  not  lose  U — Quoth  Ralplio,  Nay. 
Quoth  Whachum,  Sir,  I  meant  your  way  ? 
Your  Knight — Quoth  llalpho,  Is  a  lover,  505 

And  pains  intol'rable  doth  suffer  ; 
For  lovers'  hearts  are  not  their  own  hearts, 
Nor  lights,  nor  lungs,  and  so  forth  downwards. 


*  Will.  Sedgwick  wa"-.  a  whimsical  fanatic  preacher,  settled  by 
th"  parliament  in  the  city  ol  Ely.  He  pretended  iiiucli  to  reve- 
laliDiis,  and  was  called  the  apostie  ol"  the  Isle  of  Kly.  He  cave 
DUt  that  the  approach  of  iheday  of  judgiiienl  had  been  disclosed 
to  him  in  a  visijii :  and  goinj;  to  the  huuseof  Sir  Francis  Iliissel, 
in  Camliririgesliire,  where  he  found  several  gentleinen,  he  warned 
them  all  to  prejmrc  ihemselves,  for  the  day  of  judgment  would 
be  some  da)  in  ihe  next  week. 

t  lie  bade  him  good  evening:  see  line  540. 

i  lie  supposes  they  caiee  to  inquire  after  something  stolen 
or  strayed;  the  usual  case  with  people  when  they  apply  to  the 
cunning  man.  In  these  lines  we  must  observe  the  artfulness  or 
Whachum,  who  pumps  the  squire  concerning  the  knifihfs  busi- 
ness, and  afterwards  reli-tes  it  to  Sidrophel  in  the  presence  ol 
■H)!!!  of  them. 


CMtTo  111.]  IIL'UIBUAy.  27S 

Wliat  liino? — Quoth  Ralplio,  Sir,  too  long, 

Three  yours  it  olF  and  on  lias  bi\u^ —  SIO 

Quoth  h<^,  I  meant  what  time  o'  tii'  day  'tis. 

Qnutii  Ral|)ho,  between  seven  and  eifjlit  'lis, 

Why  tlien,  (inotii  Whachuin,  my  small  art 

Tells  mo  the  Dame  has  a  hard  heart. 

Or  great  estate.     Qnolh  Ralph,  A  jointure,  51.1 

Wiiicli  makes  him  have  so  iiot  a  mind  t'  her. 

Meaii-wiiile  the  Knifrlit  was  making  water, 

Before  he  fell  upon  the  matter: 

Wilicli  having  done,  the  Wizard  steps  in. 

To  give  him  a  suitable  reception  ;  .WO 

But  kept  his  business  at  a  bay, 

Till  Whachuin  put  him  in  the  way  ; 

Who  having  now,  by  Ralpho's  light. 

Expounded  tli'  errand  of  the  Knight, 

And  what  he  came  to  know,  drew  near,  525 

To  whisper  in  the  Conj'rer's  ear. 

Which  he  prevented  thus  :  What  was't, 

Quoth  he,  that  I  was  saying  last,* 

Before  these  gentlemen  arriv'd? 

Quoth  Whachiim,  Venus  you  retriev'd,  530 

In  opposition  with  Mars, 

And  no  benign  and  friendly  stars 

T'  allay  the  effect.t     Quoth  Wizard,  So: 

In  Virgo?  ha!     Quoth  Whachum,  No:t 

Has  Saturn  nothing  to  do  in  it  ;§  535 

One  tenth  of's  circle  to  a  minute  I 

'Tis  well,  quoth  he — Sir  you'll  excuse 

This  rudeness  I  am  forc'd  to  use  ; 

It  is  a  scheme,  and  face  of  heaven, 

As  til'  aspects  are  dispos'd  this  even,  540 


*  To  prevent  the  suspicion  which  mipht  be  created  by  whis- 
pering, he  cuiises  Whiichiini  to  relate  his  intelligence  aloud,  in 
tne  cant  terms  of  his  own  profession. 

t  There  should  he  no  coninia  after  the  word  retriev'd ;  it  Iiere 
signiliesf'uind,  observed,  from  the  French  relrouver.  Venus,  the 
goddess  of  love,  opposes  and  thwarts  Mars,  the  god  of  war,  and 
there  is  likely  to  be  no  accord  between  them.  By  which  he 
gives  him  to  understand,  that  tlie  knight  was  in  love  and  liad 
small  hopes  of  success. 

t  Is  his  iiiisiruss  a  virgin  t    No. 

$  Saturn,  Kijdvoi,  was  the  god  of  time.  The  wizard  by  these 
words  inquires  how  long  the  love  affair  had  been  carried  on. 
Whachum  replies,  one  tentli  of  his  circle  to  a  minute,  or  three 
years;  one  tenth  of  the  thirty  years  in  «'hich  Saturn  finishes 
his  revolution,  and  exactly  the  time  which  the  knight's  court' 
ihip  had  been  pending. 


2-4  IIUDIBRAS.  H'art  n 

I  was  contemplatinj^  upon 

When  you  arriv'd  :  but  now  I've  flone. 

Quoth  Hudibras,  If  1  a|)pear 
Unseasonable  in  coming  l;pro 
At  such  a  time,  to  interrupt 
Your  speculations,  which  I  hop'd 
Assistance  from,  and  come  to  use, 
'Tis  fit  that  I  ask  your  excuse. 

By  no  means,  Sir,  quoth  Sidrophel, 
The  stars  your  coming  did  foretel ; 
I  did  expect  you  here,  and  knew, 
Before  you  s])ake,  your  business  too.* 

Quotii  Ilud.bras,  Make  that  appear, 
And  I  shall  credit  whatsoe'er 
You  tell  me  after,  on  your  word, 
Howe'cr  unlikely,  or  absurd. 

You  are  in  love,  Sir,  with  a  widow, 
Quoth  he,  that  does  not  greatly  heed  you. 
And  for  three  years  has  rid  your  wit 
And  passion,  without  drawing  bit ; 
And  now  your  business  is  to  know 
If  you  shall  carry  her,  or  no. 

Quoth  Mudibras,  You're  in  the  riglit, 
But  how  the  devil  you  come  by't 
I  can't  imagine  ;  for  the  stars,  565 

I'm  sure,  can  tell  no  more  than  a  horse: 
Nor  can  their  aspects,  tlio'  you  pore 
Your  eyes  out  on  'cm,  tell  you  more 
Than  th'  oracle  of  sieve  and  sheers,t 
That  turns  as  certain  as  the  spheres:  570 

But  if  the  Devil's  of  your  counsel. 
Much  may  be  done,  my  noble  donzel  ;t 


541 


55C 


555 


56U 


*  In  some  editions  we  read,  Know  before  yon  speak. 

t  "Put  a  paire  of  sheeres  in  the  rim  of  a  sieve,  and  let  two 
"  persons  set  the  lip  of  each  of  their  foretinL'ers  vipnn  the  upper 
"  part  of  the  sheers,  holding  it  wiih  the  sieve  up  from  the  ground 
"steddilie,  and  ask  Peter  and  P.iul  wliether  A.  I?,  or  (;.  hath 
'•stolne  the  .hins  lost,  an<l  at  the  nomination  of  the  t'uilty  per- 
"son  the  sieve  will  turn  round."  Scot's  Discovery  ofWiteheraft, 
book  xii.  ch.  xvii.  p.  2()2.  The  KoffJcivd/iuvTij,  or  diviner  liy  a 
sieve,  is  mentioned  l)y  Theocr.tus  Idvll.  iii-  :«1  The  Greek  prac- 
tice differed  very  little  from  that  which  has  been  stated  above 
They  tied  a  thread  to  the  sieve,  or  fixed  it  to  a  pair  of  shears, 
which  they  held  between  two  finders.  After  addressing  thcm- 
Belves  to  the  uods,  they  repeiited  the  names  of  the  suspected 
persons;  and  he,  at  whose  name  the  sieve  turned  round,  was 
ndjudged  auilty.     Potter's  Gr.  A ntiq.  vol.  i.  p.  352. 

;  A  sneerinu  kind  of  appellation  :  donzel  iKjing  a  dimmutivo 
from  don.    Builer  says,  in  his  diaracter  of  a  squire  of  Dames, 


r*vro  iii.J  lllJDIUKAs;.  276 

And  'tis  on  this  account  I  come, 
I'o  know  from  you  my  fatal  doom. 

QuOiii  Sidiopiiel,  If  you  sujipose,  375 

Sir  Kr.ijjlit,  that  I  am  one  of  those, 
[  mifrht  uuspect  and  take  the  alarm, 
\ronr  busluoGs  is  but  to  inform:* 
But  if  it  be,  'tis  ne'er  the  near, 

You  have  r  wrong  sow  by  tlie  ear ;  a8l 

For  I  assure  you,  for  my  part, 
1  only  deal  by  rules  of  art  ; 
Such  as  are  l;.wl'ul,  and  judge  by 
Conclusions  of  astrology  ; 

But  for  the  devil ;  know  nothing  by  him,  583 

But  only  this,  tiiut  I  defy  him. 

Quoth  lie,  Whatever  others  deem  ye, 
I  understand  your  metonymy  ;t 
Your  words  of  second-hand  intention, t 
Wlien  things  by  w  longful  names  you  mention  ;      590 


(-ol.  ii.  p.  37!),)  "he  is  donzel  to  the  dainzels,  and  pentlcman 
"  i.sher  daily  waiter  on  tlie  ladies,  that  rubs  out  his  time  in  iiia- 
"  kii.^  legs  and  love  to  them."  'J'he  word  is  likewise  used  in 
Ben  Jonson's  Alchymist.  ["■  Doinel  del  Plieho.  A  celebrated 
"  hero  of  romance  in  the  Mirror  of  Kni^'lithood,  &c.  Donzel  is 
"  from  tlie  Italian,  donzclto,  and  means  a  squire,  or  young  man  ; 
"  or,  as  Florio  says,  '  A  damosell,  a  bacheler,'  &c.  He  seems  al- 
"  ways  united  with  Rosiclear. 

"Defen<l  thee  powerfully,  marry  thee  suinptuously,  and  keep 
"  thee  in  despite  of  Rosiclear  or  Donzel  del  Phebo. 

"  Malcontent,  O.  PI.  iv.  92. 

"  Donzel  del  Pkibo  and  Rosicleer  !  are  you  there  ? 

"  The  Bird  in  a  Cage,  O.  PI.  viii.  243. 

"So  the  Captain  in  Philaster  calls  the  citizens  in  insurrection 
"  with  him,  '  My  dear  Doimcls:'  and  presently  after,  when  Phi- 
'•  taster  appears  salutes  him  by  the  title  of 

" My  royal  Rosiclear  ! 

"  We  are  thy  myrmidons,  thy  giinrds,  thy  roarers. 

"  Philaster,  v.  p.  lGG-7." — Nares's  Glossary.] 

*  At  that  time  there  was  a  severe  inquisition  against  conjurers, 
witches,  &.C.  See  the  note  on  line  Hit.  In  Rymer's  Fcedera, 
Vol.  xvi,  p.  Glifi,  is  H  special  pardon  from  king  James  to  Simou 
Read,  for  practising  the  black  art.  It  is  entitled,  iJe  Pardonatio- 
ne  pro  Simone  Read  de  Invacatione,et  Conjuratione  Cacoil;emo- 
num.  He  is  there  said  to  have  invoked  certain  wicked  spirits  in 
the  year  )fi08,  in  the  parish  of  St.  George,  South  wark,  particular- 
ly one  such  spirit  called  Heavelon,  another  called  Faternon,  and 
1  thiril  called  Cleveton. 

t  Metonymy  is  a  figure  of  speech,  whereby  the  cause  is  put 
'or  the  effect,  the  subject  for  the  adjunct. 

t  Terms  of  second  intention,  among  the  schoolmen,  denote 
ideas  which  have  been  arbitrarily  adopted  for  purposes  of  science 
in  opposition  to  those  which  are  connected  with  sensible  ob- 
jects. 


276  HUDIBllAS.  'Part  n 

The  mystic  sense  ot"  all  your  terms, 

Thai  are  indeed  but  ma<ric  charms 

To  raise  the  devil,  and  mean  one  thing, 

And  that  is  downright  conjuring ; 

And  in  itself  more  warrantable*  SB* 

Than  cheat  or  canting  to  a  rabble, 

Or  putting  tricks  upon  tiie  moon. 

Which  by  confcd'racy  aie  done. 

Your  ancient  conjurers  were  wont 

To  make  her  from  her  spliere  dismount,t  600 

And  to  their  incantations  stoop  ; 

They  scorn'd  to  pore  thro'  telescope, 

Or  idly  play  at  bo-peej)  with  her. 

To  find  out  cloudy  or  fair  weather, 

Which  ev'ry  almanac  can  tell  605 

Perhaps  as  learnedly  and  well 

As  you  yourself — Then,  friend,  I  doubt 

You  go  the  furthest  way  about : 

Your  modern  Indian  magician 

Makes  but  a  hole  in  th'  earth  to  piss  in, I  610 

And  straight  resolves  all  questions  by't, 

And  seldom  fails  to  be  i'  th'  right. 

The  Rosy-crucian  way's  more  sure 

To  bring  the  devil  to  the  lure  ; 

Each  of  'em  has  a  several  gin,  61S 

To  catch  intelligences  in.§ 

Some  by  the  nose,  with  fumes,  trepan  'em, 

As  Dunstan  did  the  devil's  grannam.|| 

*  The  knijrht  has  no  faith  in  astrolopy ;  hut  wishes  lh»i  conju- 
jer  to  own  plainly  that  he  deals  with  the  devil,  and  then  he  will 
nope  (or  some  satisfaction  from  him.  To  show  what  may  be 
done  in  this  way,  he  recounts  the  great  achievements  of  sorcer- 
ers. 

t  So  the  witch  Canidia  boasts  of  herself  in  Horace: 

Polo 
Deripere  lunam  vncibus  possini  meis. 

The  ancients  freciuently  introduced  this  fiction.  See  Virgil 
F.ciogue  viii.  GO.  Ovid's  iMetamorplioses,  vii.  207.  I'ropertius, 
Look  i.  elefiy  i.  1&  and  Tibullus,  book  i.  elegy  ii.  4^ 

t  "The  kinfi  presently  called  to  his  Bongi  to  clear  the  air;  the 
conjuror  inunediately  mule  a  liole  in  llie  cround,  wherein  he 
iirined."  Le  Blanc's  Travels,  p.  'J8.  The  ancient  Zabii  used  to 
ilis  a  hole  in  the  earth,  and  hll  it  with  bloou,  as  the  means  or 
forming  a  correspondence  with  demons,  and  obtaining  their  fa 
vor. 

^  To  secure  demons  or  spirits. 

(I  The  rliymists  and  alchymists.  In  the  Remains  of  Butler, 
vol.  ii.  p.  I!:);"),  we  read:  ''These  spirits  tliey  use  to  catch  by  the 
noses  with  lunii}.'alions,  as  St.  Dunstan  did  the  devil,  by  a  pair  of 
tongs."  The  story  of  St.  Dunstan  taking  the  devil  by  the  nose  with 
a  pair  of  hot  pincers,  has  been  frequently  related.  St.  Dunstan  live*/ 


Canto  ui.J  IIUDIBRAS.  977 

Olliers  with  characters  and  words 

Catch  'cm,  as  men  in  nets  do  Urds  ;*  GM 

And  sotiio  with  symbols,  signs,  and  tricks, 

Engrav'd  in  planetary  nicks, t 

With  tiieir  own  intluenccs  will  fetch  'em 

l>own  from  their  orb*,  arrest,  and  catch  'em  ;t 

Make  'em  depose,  and  answer  to  C?5 

All  questions,  e'er  they  let  them  go. 

bombastus  kej)t  a  devil's  bird 

Shut  in  the  pummel  of  his  sword, § 

That  taught  him  all  the  cunning  (jranLs 

Of  past  and  future  mountebanks.  C3C 

Kelly  did  all  his  feats  upon 

The  devil's  looking  glass,  a  stone, || 

In  the  tenth  century:  was  a  great  admirer  and  proficient  in  the 
polite  arts,  particularly  paintin);  and  sculpture.  As  he  was  very 
Httenlively  in  liis  cell  engraving  a  gold  cup.  the  devil  tempted 
him  in  the  shn\K  of  a  beautiful  woman.  The  saint,  perceiving 
in  the  spirit  who  it  was.  took  up  a  red  hot  pair  of  tongs,  and 
catching  hold  of  the  devil  liy  the  nose,  made  him  howl  in  such 
a  terrihle  inatincr  as  to  be  heard  all  over  the  neighborhood. 

*  By  reiMjtition  of  magical  sounds  and  words,  properly  called 
enchantments. 

t  By  liuures  and  signatures  described  according  to  astrological 
symmetry  ;  that  is,  certain  conjunctions  or  oppositions  with  the 
planets  and  a^i|lccts  of  the  stars. 

i  Carmina  vel  codIo  possunt  deducere  lunam. 

^  lionibastus  de  Hohenheim,  cnlled  also  Aureliiis  I'liilippus, 
and  Theophrastus,  but  more  generally  known  by  the  name  of 
I'araceUus,  was  son  of  William  Hohenheim.  an<l  author,  or  rath- 
er restorer,  of  chymical  pharmacy.  He  ventured  upon  a  free 
administering  of  mercury  and  laudanum;  and  perfonned  cures, 
which,  in  those  days  of  ignorance,  were  deemed  supernatural. 
He  entertained  some  whimsical  notions  concerning  llie  antedilu- 
vian form  of  man,  and  man's  generation.  Mr.  Butler's  note  on 
this  passage  is  in  the  following  words:  "I'aracelsus  is  said  to 
"  have  kept  a  small  devil  prisoner  in  the  piuiimel  of  his  sword; 
"which  was  the  reason,  perhaps,  why  he  was  so  valiant  in  his 
"drink.  However,  it  was  to  better  purpose  than  Hannibal  carried 
■'poison  ir  his  sword,  to  dispatch  himself  if  he  should  happen  to 
"  be  sufirised  in  any  great  e.vtremity  :  for  the  sword  would  have 
"ti.r.T  the  'sat  alone  much  belter  and  more  soldier-like.  And  it 
"  was  !»elow  the  honor  of  so  great  a  commander  to  go  out  of  the 
"world  like  a  rat." 

II  Dr.  Dee  had  a  stone,  which  he  called  his  angelical  stone, 
pretending  that  It  was  brought  to  him  by  an  angel:  and  "by  a 
"spirit  it  was,  sure  enough,"  says  iJr.  M.  ('asaubon.  \Vc  liiid 
Dee  himself  telling  the  emperor  "  that  the  angels  of  C.iui  had 
'brouaht  to  him  a  stone  of  that  value,  that  no  earthly  kingdom 
'  is  of  that  worthiness,  as  to  be  compared  to  the  virtue  or  dign; 
"  ty  thereof."*  It  was  large,  round,  and  very  transparent ;  and 
persons  who  were  qualified  for  tlie  sight  of  it,  were  to  perceive 
various  shapes  and  figures,  either  represented  in  it  as  in  a  look- 

oe  •piriu 


£78  HUDIbRAS.  [Part  u 

Wheie,  playing  with  him  at  bo-peep, 

He  solv'd  all  problems  ne'er  so  deep. 

Agrippa  kept  a  Stygian  pug,  03; 

r  th'  garb  and  habit  of  a  dog,* 

ins-glass,  or  standing  upon  it  as  on  a  pedestal.  This  stone  is  now 
in  the  possession  of  the  very  learned  and  ingenious  earl  of  Or- 
ford,  at  Strawberry-hill.*  It  appears  to  be  a  volcanic  produc- 
tion, i>t  the  species  vulgarly  called  th«  black  Iceland  agate, 
which  is  a  perfectly  vitrified  lava;  and  according  to  Bergman's 
analysis,  contains  of  siliceous  earth  sixty-nine  parts  in  a  hun- 
dred ;  argillaceous  twenty- two  parts  and  martial  nine.  See  Berg. 
Opu-c.  vol.  ill.  p.  240,  and  Letiers  from  [.;eland,  lett.  2.5.  The  la- 
pis obsidianus  of  the  ancients  is  supposed  to  have  been  of  this 
species  :  a  stone,  according  to  Pliny,  "quem  in  iEthiopia  invenil 
"  Obsidius,  nigerrimi  coloris  aliquando  et  translucidi,  crassiorc 
"  visu,  alque  in  speculis  parietum  pro  imagine  umbras  reddente.  " 
Plin.  Nat.  Hist.  lib.  xxxvi.  cap.  'Jii.  The  same  kind  of  slone  is 
found  also  in  South  America;  and  called  by  the  Spaniards, 
from  its  color,  piedra  de  gallinaco.  The  poet  might  term  it  the 
devil's  looking-glass,  from  the  use  which  Dee  and  Kelly  made 
of  it;  and  because  it  has  been  the  common  practice  of  conjurers 
to  answer  the  inquiries  of  [jersons,  by  representations  shown 
to  them  in  a  looking-glass.  Dr.  M.  Casaubon  quotes  a  passage 
to  this  purpose  I'rom  a  manuscript  of  Roger  Bacon,  inscribed  De 
dictis  et  factis  falsorum  mathematicornm  et  dismonum.  "  The 
"demons  sometimes  appear  to  them  really, sometimes  iinaginari- 
"  ly  in  basins  and  polished  things,  and  shew  them  whatever 
"  they  desire.  Boys,  looking  upon  these  surfaces,  see  by  imagi- 
"  nation,  things  that  have  been  stolen ;  to  what  places  they  have 
"  been  carried ;  what  persons  took  them  away :  and  the  like." 
In  the  proemium  of  Joach.  Camerarius  to  Plutarch  De  Oraculis, 
we  are  told  that  a  gentleman  of  Nurimberg  had  a  crystal  which 
had  this  singular  virtue,  viz.,if  any  one  desired  to  know  any  thing 
past  or  future,  lei  a  young  man,  castum,  or  who  was  not  of  age 
look  into  it;  he  would  first  see  a  man,  so  and  so  apparelled,  auL 
afterwards  what  he  desired.  We  meet  with  a  similar  story  in 
Heylin's  History  of  the  Reformation,  part  iii.  The  earl  of  Hert 
ford,  brother  to  queen  Jane  Seymour,  having  formerly  been  em- 
ployed in  France,  acquainted  himself  there  with  a  learned  man, 
who  was  supposed  to  have  great  skill  in  magic.  To  this  person, 
by  rewards  and  importunities,  he  applied  for  information  concern- 
ing his  affairs  at  home  ;  and  his  impertinent  curiosity  was  so  far 
gratified,  that  by  the  help  of  some  magical  ()erspeclive,  he  beheld 
a  gentleman  in  a  more  familiar  posture  with  his  wife  than  was 
consistent  with  the  honor  of  either  party.  To  this  diabolical 
Illusion  he  is  said  to  have  given  so  much  credit,  that  he  not  only 
estranged  himself  from  her  society  at  his  return,  but  furnished  a 
second  wife  with  an  excellent  reason  for  urging  the  disin- 
herison of  his  former  children.  The  ancients  had  also  the 
Atdoitatrda. 

*  "  As  Paracelsus  had  a  devil  confined  in  the  pummel  of  his 
■'sword,  so  Asrippa  had  one  tied  to  his  dog's  collar,"  says  Eras, 
tus.  It  is  probable  that  the  collar  had  some  strange  uninlelligi 
ble  characters  engraven  upon  it.    Mr.  Butler  hath  a  note  on 

•  The  authenticilv  an-.  iJontilv  of  this  s.one  cannot  be  dolibteJ,  »s  il8  rte- 
K.ent  is  more  clearly  proved  llian  llrat  of  Ajamemnon'a  sceplre.  It  waf 
nicciBe.l  in  Ihe  ca(alno-ne  of  rhe  earl  of  Peterboroujh,  al  Uraylon  ;  UmrM 
i(U  10  lad;  Betty  Ueruiahie,  who  ?ave  it  to  the  Duke  of  Argyle,  and  hii  w* 
Ik>pX  Frederick  Campbell  tu  lo.'d  Orford. 


Canto  m.]  IIUDIBIIAS.  079 

That  was  his  tutor,  and  tho  ciir 

Read  to  th'  occult  philosopher,* 

Aud  t;ui;rht  liiin  subt'ly  to  maintain 

All  other  sciences  are  vain.t  618 

To  this,  quoth  Sidrophello,  Sir, 
Agrippa  was  no  conjurer,! 
Nor  Paracelsus,  no,  nor  Behnien  ; 
Nor  was  the  dog  a  caco-da;nion. 
But  a  true  dog  that  would  shew  tricks  84j 

For  Ih'  einp'ror,  and  leap  o'er  sticks  ; 
Would  fetch  and  carrj',  was  more  civil 
Than  other  dogs,  but  yet  no  devil ; 
And  whatsoe'er  he's  said  to  do. 

He  went  the  self-samo  way  wo  go.  C50 

As  for  the  Rosy-cross  piiilosophei's. 
Whom  you  will  have  to  be  but  sorcerers, 
What  they  pretend  to  is  no  more 
Than  Trismegistus  did  before, § 
Pythagoras,  old  Zoroaster, |1  Gj5 


ihese  lines  in  the  following  wortls :  "Cornelius  Astripinhad  a 
'dog  timt  was  sn^pectetl  to  be  a  spirit,  fur  some  tricks  he  was 
"  wont  to  do  beyond  the  c:ip:icity  of  a  dog.  15ut  tlie  author  of 
"  Magia  Adariiica  lias  tikenagreat  deal  of  pains  to  vindicate 
'  both  llie  doctor  and  the  dog  from  that  aspersion ;  in  which 
'  he  has  shown  a  very  great  respect  and  kindness  for  them 
"both." 

*  A  l)ook  entitled,  De  Occu1t;\   Philosophia,  was  ascribed  to 

Agrippt,  and  from  thence  he  was  called  the  occult  philosopher. 

I  Bishop   Warburlon   says,   nothing    can   be   more   pleasant 

than  this  turn  given  to  Agrippa's  silly  book  De  Vanitate  Scien- 

liaruni. 

t  A  subject  of  much  disputation.  Pauhis  Jovins,  and  others 
maint  lin  that  he  whs.  Wierus  and  Monsieur  Niuid6  endeavor 
to  vindicate  him  from  the  charge  :  Apologie  pour  les  grands 
hoMUncs  accuses  de  niagie.  Perhaps  we  may  best  apologize  for 
Acrippa,  by  saying,  that  he  was  not  the  author  of  every  book 
which  has  been  ullrilmtPd  to  him.     See  Canio  i.  line  5!0. 

$  The  Egyptian  Thoih  or  Tout,  called  Hermes  by  the  Greeks, 
and  Mercury  by  the  LaUns,  from  whom  the  chymists  pretend  to 
have  derived  their  art,  is  su^iposed  io  have  lived  soon  after  the 
time  of  .Moses,  and  to  have  made  Improvements  in  every  branch 
of  learning.  "  Thoih,"  says  Lactantius,  "anliquissinuis  et  in- 
'•slructissimus  omni  jenerc  doclrina;.  adeo  ut  ei  multarum  rernm 
"  et  artiuin  scientia  Tri<megisto  cognomen  imponeret."  15.  i.  cap. 
C.  The  Egyptians  anciently  engraved  their  laws  and  discoveries 
in  science  upon  columns,  which  were  deposite<l  In  the  colleges 
of  the  priests.  The  column  in  their  language  was  termed  Thoth. 
And  in  a  country  where  almost  every  thing  bectune  an  object 
of  worship,  it  is  no  wonder  that  the  sacred  colunui  should  be 
personified,  and  that  Thoth  should  be  revered  as  the  inventor  or 
great  promoter  of  learning. 

[|  Pythagoras,  a  Greek  philosopher,  flourished  about  the  sixth 
»r  seventh  centuiy  before  Christ.   He  was  the  scholar  of  Thales ; 
24 


iSO  nUDlBllAS.  [I'AiiT  1 

And  Appollonius  tiieir  master,* 
To  whom  they  do  confess  tliey  owe 
All  that  they  do,  and  all  they  know. 

Quoth  Iludibras,  Alas  I   what  is't  t'  us 
Whether  'twas  said  by  Trismegistus,  G6( 

If  it  be  nonsense,  false,  or  mystic. 
Or  not  intelligible,  or  sophistic  ? 
'Tis  not  antiquity,  nor  author. 
That  makes  truth  truth,  altho'  time's  daughter  ;t 
'Twas  he  that  put  Jier  in  the  pit,  003 


and  travelled  forty  years  in  Ejiypt,  Chnldea,  and  other  parts  of 
the  East,  veliit  ptedo  literaruni,  for  the  sake  of  iiiiprovenient. 
See  Diog.  Laert.  He  was  initiated  into  all  their  mysteries.  Ar 
last  he  settled  in  Italy,  and  founded  the  Italic  sect.  Heconimon- 
ly  expressed  liiin~elf  by  syiiil)i)ls.  Many  incredible  stories  are 
reported  of  liini  liy  Laertius,  Janiblicus,  and  otlirrs.  Old  Zo- 
roaster, so  old  that  authors  know  not  when  he  lived.  Some 
make  him  coteinporary  with  .\braham.  Others  place  him  five 
thousand  years  before  the  Trojan  war.  Justin  says  of  him, 
"Postremum  illl  (Nino)  belUim  cum  Zoroastre.  rege  Bactrlano- 
"  rum  f'uit,  qui  primus  dlcitur  artes  mairicas  invenisse,  et  niundi 
"  principia,  siderumque  motus  diligenlissime  spcctasse."  Lib 
i.  cap.  1. 

*  Appollnniu',  of  Tyana,  lived  in  the  time  of  Domitian.  He 
embraced  the  doctrines  of  Pytha<roras:  travelled  far  both  east 
ami  west ;  everywhere  spent  much  of  his  time  in  the  temples  ; 
was  a  critical  inspector  of  the  pagan  worship;  ami  set  himself 
to  reform  and  purify  their  ritual.  He  was  much  averse  to  ani- 
mal sacrifices,  and  condemned  the  exliibitions  of  gladiators. 
Many  improbable  won<lers  are  related  of  him  by  Philostralus ; 
and  more  are  adile<l  by  subsequent  writers.  According  to  these 
accounts  lie  raised  the  dead,  rendered  himself  invisible,*  was 
seen  at  Rome  and  Puteoli  on  llie  same  day  ;  and  jiroclaimed  at 
Ephesus  tiie  murder  of  Domitian  at  the  very  instant  of  its  perpetra- 
tion at  Rome.  This  last  fact  is  attested  by  UioCassius  the  consular 
historian  ;  who  with  the  most  vehement  asseverations,  atlirms 
it  to  be  certainly  true,  though  it  should  be  denied  a  thousand 
times  over.  Yet  the  same  I)io  elsewhere  calls  him  a  cheat  and 
impostor.  Pio  Ixviii.  ult.  et  Ixxvii.  18.  For  an  account  of  the 
riirterence  of  the  r.i;r£ia,  Mayf'a,  'i'ttpfiaKtla,  three  of  the  prin- 
cipal ancient  superstitions  brought  Irom  I'ersia,  see  Suidas  io 
vocem  rot)Tcia.    Their  master,  i.  e.  master  of  the  Rosicrucians. 

t  Tlie  kniglit  argues  that  opinions  are  not  .-ilways  to  be  re- 
ceived on  the  authority  of  a  great  name  ;  nor  does  the  antiouity 
of  an  opinion  ever  constitute  tlie  truth  of  it,  thiiu!;h  lime  will 
often  give  stability  to  truth,  and  foster  it  as  a  legi'.imateortspring. 
Yet  perhaps  there  is  many  a  learned  character  to  which  the  lines 
of  Horace  are  applicable  : 

Qui  redit  in  fastos,  et  virtutem  a-stimat  annis  ; 
Miraturque  nihil,  nisi  quod  Libitina  sacravit. 

Epist.  lib.  ii.  ep.  i.  48. 

•  Tbf  brn:heu3  we'c  fond  of  eoxjftxlLf  these  fuata  with  tlia  miraeUs  o 


Canto  hi.:  IIUDIBRA8.  28' 

Before  lie  pnll'tl  licr  out  of  it  ;* 

Aiui  as  lie  cuts  his  sods,  just  so 

Me  feeds  upon  his  daughters  too.t 

Nor  does  it  follow,  'cause  a  herald 

Can  inuke  a  ireutlenuui,  scarce  a  year  old,!  678 

To  be  descended  of  a  race 

Of  ancient  kings  in  a  small  space, 

That  we  should  all  opinions  hold 

Authcnlic,  that  we  can  make  old. 

Quoth  SidroplicI,  It  is  no  part  673 

Of  prudence  to  cry  down  an  art, 
And  what  it  may  perform,  deny. 
Because  you  understand  not  why  ; 
As  Averrliois  play'd  but  a  mean  trick, 
To  damn  our  whole  art  for  eccentrick,§  680 


*  Time  l)rings  nmny  truths  to  light:  according  to  Horace, 
Spist.  lib.  i.  cp.  vi.  24  ; 

Uuitqiiid  suli  terra  est  in  apricum  proferet  a:tJis. 

But  time  oflon  iiivolvfis  subjects  in  perplexity,  and  occasions 
those  very  dirticnillies  whicli  afterwards  it  help^  to  remove. 
'  Vcritateni  in  puteo  latentem  non  iiiconcinne  fin.xit  anliiniitas." 
Cicero  employs  a  saying  of  Democritus  to  this  purpose,  Academ. 
Uua;sl.  i.  12,  "ansustos  sensiis,  imbecillos  aniiiios.  brovia  curri- 
"' cilia  vilx,  ct  ut  neniocriliis,  in  prol'undo  veritatcm  esse  dcmer- 
"  sam."  Again  in  Lncullo  :  "  Natiiram  accina,  qn.i"  in  i)rnfiindc 
"veritatcm,  tit  ait  Ucniocritiis,  penitus  alxtruserit."  Bishop 
Warburton  observes,  that  the  satire  contained  in  these  lines  of 
our  author  is  line  and  just.  Cleanthcs  said,  "  that  truth  was  hid 
"  in  a  pit."  "  Yes,"  answers  the  poet ;  "  but  you  Greek  philoso- 
"  phers  were  the  first  that  put  her  in  there,  and  then  claimed  so 
"much  merit  to  yourselves  for  drawing  heroiit."  ThefirslGreek 
philosophers  creatly  obscured  truth  by  their  endless  speculations, 
and  it  was  business  enoUL'h  for  the  industry  and  talents  of  their 
successors  to  clear  matters  up. 

t  If  truth  is  "  lime's  daughter,"  yet  Piturn,  Xprfiof,  or  Time, 
may  be  never  the  kinder  to  her  on  that  accnunt.  I'or  as  pnets 
feign  that  Saturn  eats  his  sons,  so  he  feeds  upon  his  (laughters. 
lie  devours  truths  as  well  as  years,  an<I  buries  them  in  oblivion. 

X  In  all  civil  wars  the  order  of  things  is  subverted  ;  the  poor 
become  rich,  and  the  rich  poor.  And  they  who  suddenly  gain 
riches  must  in  the  ne.xt  place  be  fiirnislied  with  an  lionorable 
pedi^iree.  Many  instances  of  this  kind  are  preserved  in  Walk- 
er's History  of  Inilependency,  Unt'r,  Lives  of  the  Krijicides,  &c. 

5  Averroes  flourished  in  the  twelfth  century.  He  was  a  great 
crilic,  lawyer,  and  physician  ;  and  one  of  the  most  subtle  phi- 
losophers that  ever  appeared  among  the  Arabians.  He  wrote  a 
commentary  upon  Aristotle,  from  whence  he  obtained  the  sur- 
name of  commentator.  He  much  di>!iked  the  epicycles  and 
eccentrics  which  Ptolemy  had  introduced  into  his  system  ;  they 
seemed  so  absurd  to  him,  that  they  gave  him  a  disgust  to  the 
science  of  astronomy  In  general.  lie  does  not  seem  to  have 
formed  a  more  favorable  opinion  of  aslndogy.  Here  likewise 
was  too  much  eccentricity :  and  he  condemne<l  the  art  as  use- 
fess  and  fallacious,  having  no  foundatu)n  of  truth  or  certainty. 


£82  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  a 

For  who  knows  all  that  knowledge  contains? 

Men  dwell  not  on  the  tops  of  mountains, 

But  on  their  sides,  or  risings  seat ; 

So  'tis  with  knowledge's  vast  height. 

Do  not  the  hist'ries  of  all  ages  685 

Relate  miraculous  presages 

Of  strange  turns,  in  the  world's  affairs, 

Foreseen  b'  astrologers,  sooth-saycrs, 

Chaldeans,  learned  Gencthliacs,* 

And  some  that  have  writ  almanacs?  090 

The  ]\Iedian  emp'ror  dream'd  his  daughter 

Had  pist  all  -iVsia  under  water,t 

And  that  a  vuie,  sprung  from  her  haunches, 

O'erspread  his  empire  with  its  branches  ; 

And  did  not  soothsayers  expound  it,  695 

As  after  by  th'  event  he  found  it  ? 

When  Ccesar  in  the  senate  fell. 

Did  not  t!ie  sun  ecli])s'd  foretell,! 

And  iu  resentment  of  his  slaughter, 

Look'd  pale  for  almost  a  year  after  ?  700 

Augustus  having,  b'  oversight. 

Put  on  his  left  shoe  'fore  his  right,§ 

Had  like  to  have  been  slain  that  day, 

By  soldiers  mutin'ing  for  pay. 

Are  there  not  myriads  of  this  sort,  705 

Which  stories  of  all  times  report  ? 

Is  it  not  ominous  iu  all  countries, 


*  Genethliaci,  termed  also  Chaldcci,  were  soothsayers,  who 
undertook  to  foretell  the  fortunes  of  men  from  circumstances  at- 
tending their  births.    Casters  of  nativity. 

t  Asiyages,  king  of  Media,  had  this  dream  of  his  daughter 
Mandane  ;  and  being  alarmed  at  the  interpretation  of  it  which 
was  given  by  the  magi,  he  married  her  to  C'ambyses,  a  Persian 
of  mean  quality.  Her  son  was  Cyrus,  who  fulfilled  the  dream 
by  the  conquest  of  Asia.    See  Herodotus,  i.  107,  and  Justin. 

X  The  prodigies  which  are  said  to  have  been  noticed  before 
the  death  of  C.-esar,  are  mentioned  by  several  of  the  classics, 
Virgil,  Ovid,  Plutarch,  &c.  But  the  puet  alludes  to  what  is  re- 
late/! by  Pliny  in  his  Natural  History,  ii.  ."iO,  "fiunt  prodigiosi,  et 
"longiores  soils  defectus,  quails  occiso  Ca;sare  dictatore,  et  An- 
'•'toniano  bello,  totius  pene  anni  pallore  continuo." 

$  An  excellent  banter  upon  omens  and  prodigies.  Plinygives 
this  account  in  his  second  book  :  "  Divus  Augustus  la;vum  prodi- 
"dit  sibicalceum  (jta'postere  inductum,  quo  die  seditione  militari 
"  prope  adflictus  est."  And  Suetonius,  in  Augusti  Vita,  sect.  92, 
says  :  "  (.Augustus)  auspicia  qua;dam  et  omina  pro  certissimis 
"observabat,  si  mane  sibi  calceus  perperam,  ac  sinister  pro  dex- 
"  tro  induceretur,  lit  dirum."  Charles  the  First  is  said  to  have 
been  much  atl'ected  by  some  omens  of  this  kind,  such  as  the 
sortes  Virgiliana;,  observations  on  his  bust  made  by  Bernini,  and 
in  his  picture. 


Canto  hi.]  IIUDIBUAS.  283 

VVlien  crows  and  ravens  croak  upon  trees  ? 
The  Uoinaii  senate,  when  within 
Tlio  city  walls  an  owl  was  seen.*  71C 

Did  cause  their  cieroy,  with  lustrations, 
Our  synod  calls  iuniiiliatioiis, 
Tlie  round-fac'd  prodigy  t'  avert, 
From  doiiifr  town  or  country  liiut. 
And  if  an  owl  liave  so  iinich  pow'r,  715 

Why  should  not  planets  have  much  more, 
That  in  a  region  I'ar  above 
Inferior  fowls  of  the  air  move, 
And  should  see  further,  and  foreknow 
More  than  their  augury  below  ?  730 

Tho'  that  once  serv'd  tho  polity 
Of  mighty  states  to  gcvern  by  ;i' 
And  this  is  what  we  take  in  hand, 
I>y  powV^nl  art,  to  understand  ; 

Which,  iiow  we  have  perform'd,  all  ages  725 

Can  speak  ih'  events  of  our  presages. 
Have  wo  not  lately  in  the  moon. 
Found  a  new  woild,  to  tii'  old  unknown? 
Discover'd  sea  ar.d  land,  Columbus 
And  .M.rgellan  could  never  compass?  730 

Made  mountains  with  our  tubes  ajipcar, 
And  cattle  grazing  on  tliem  there  '. 
Quotji  liud^bras.  Yon  lie  so  ope, 
That  I,  without  a  telescope. 

Can  find  your  tricks  out,  and  descry  735 

Where  you  tell  truth,  and  where  you  lie  : 
For  Ana.xagoras  long  agone, 
Saw  iiills,  as  well  as  you,  i'  tli'  moon,t 


*  Anno  ante  Christum  97,  Ijiilione  in  iirlie  vise,  urlis  lustrata. 
B'jlione  In  c^ipitdlio  suiiM  deoruni  siiimlacra  viso,  cam  piiiretnr, 
tiinrns  vicliiiia  exaniinis  concidit.  Julius  Obscqiiens,  No.  44-45, 
et  Lycoslhenes,  pp.  1IJ4,  i'X>. 

'  It  appears  fnini  many  pas^apes  of  Cicero.and  other  authors, 
that  the  ileterminallons  ot"  the  an^'urs,  aruspices,  anil  the  sybil 
line  hooks,  were  cominonly  contrived  to  promote  the  ends  of 
povcrnment,  or  to  serve  the  purposes  of  the  chief  managers  in 
the  ciimiiionwealih. 

t  See  Burnet's  .Xrchajolos.  cap.  x.  p.  144.  Anavagnras  of 
Clazomenfc,  v%as  the  first  of  the  Ionic  philosophers  who  main- 
tiined  that  llie  several  parts  of  Ihe  iniiverse  were  tlie  works  of 
a  supreme  intelliKenl  heing,  and  consequently  did  not  allow  the 
8Un  and  moon  to  he  i;ods.  On  this  account  he  was  accused  of 
Impiety,  and  thrown  into  prison  ;  hut  released  l)y  Pericles.  Plu- 
tarch in  Nicia  :  '•  Arc  they  not  dreams  of  human  vanity,"  says 
Montaicnc,  "to  make  the  moon  a  celestial  earth,  there  to  f-i.ncy 
"mountains  and  vales  as  Ana.vaeoras  did."  And  see  Plutarch 
ie  Placilis  philusophorum,  l>iog.  Lacrl.  and  Plato  de  icgibi's.   'J'h« 


284  IIUDIDKAS.  [Part  u 

And  held  the  sun  was  but  a  piecfi 

Of  red  hot  iron  as  big  as  Greece  ;*  74C 

Behev'd  the  licav'ns  were  made  of  stonei 

Because  the  buu  had  voided  one  ;1 

And,  rather  tlian  he  would  recant 

Til'  o])inlon,  suffer'd  bauisiimcnt. 

But  what,  alas  !  is  it  to  us,  745 

Whether  i'  tli'  moon,  meu  thus  or  thus 
Do  eat  tlieir  porridi^e,  cut  their  corns, 
Or  whether  they  have  tails  or  horns? 
What  trade  from  thence  can  you  advance, 
But  what  we  nearer  have  from  France  ?  7J0 

What  can  our  travellers  'omv^  home, 
That  is  not  to  be  learnt  at  Rome  ? 
What  politics,  or  sfranifo  opinions. 
That  are  not  in  our  own  dominions? 
What  scienco  can  be  brought  from  thenca,  755 

In  which  we  do  not  here  commence  ? 
What  revelations,  or  religions. 
That  are  not  in  our  native  regions  ? 
Are  sweating-lanterns,  or  screeu-funs;t 


jinet  might  probably  have  Bishop  VVIlkins  in  view,  who  inain- 
tiineii  th:)t  the  iiinon  was  hu  habilablo  world,  and  proposed 
Bchciiies  I'lir  flyiim  ibcrc. 

Spealiin}:  of  Anaxagori'!,  Monsieur  Chovrcaii  says:  "We 
"may  easily  excuse  the  ill  hiiiiioiir  of  one  who  was  seldom  of 
"  the  (pinion  of  others  :  who  maintained  that  snow  was  black, 
"because  it  -.vas  made  of  water,  which  is  black  ;  who  took  the 
"ht'avens  to  be  an  arch  of  stone,  which  rolled  aboiit  continual- 
"ly;  and  the  moon  a  piece  of  inflanieil  earth;  and  the  stm 
"  (which  is  iiliout  -i:i4  times  bi<ri!er  than  the  earth)  for  a  plate  of 
"  red-hot  steel,  of  the  bij^ness  of  Pelojionne^us." 

*  [OvTos  iXeyc  tIv  ri\iov  iivSpoi'  uvai  iid~vpov.  Ka]  fi/i^o)  r^< 
IltXon-oi'i'/Jffou.  Diog.  Laprt.  I.  ii.  §  8.] 
In  Mr.  lUitler's  Remains  we  read  : 

For  th'  ancients  only  took  it  for  a  piece 
Of  red  hot  iron,  as  big  as  Pelnponese. 

Riidis  antinuitas,  Homcrnm  sccnta,  crEluni  credidit  esse  fcr- 
reum.  Sed  liomerus  a  coloris  similiiudinc  fcrreum  dixit,  non  a 
pondcfe 

t  Vnaxacoras  had  foretold  that  a  large  stone  would  fall  from 
licaven.and  it  w.is  supposed  alterw:irds  to  have  been  found  near 
Uie  river  ./Egos,  Lacrt.  ii.  10,  and  Plutarch  in  Lysandro,  who  dis- 
cusstss  ths!  mutter  at  length.  Mr  Costard  explains  this  preiliction 
to  mean  the  approach  of  a  comet;  and  we  learn  from  the  testi- 
mony of  Aristotle,  and  r)tlicrs,  that  a  comet  appeared  at  that 
juncture,  (Myinp.  Ixxviii.  2.  Pee  .Aristnt.  Meteor.  The  fall  of 
the  stone  is  recorded  in  the  Arundel  marbles. 

t  These  lanterns,  as  the  poet  calls  them, were  boxes,  wherein 
the  whole  body  was  placed,  together  with  a  lamp.  They  were 
used,  by  quacks,  in  the  venereal  disease,  or  to  bring  on  perspira- 


Canto  hi.]  IIUDIBRAS  285 

Made  better  there  than  they're  in  P'raiico?  7GI 

Or  do  lliey  teacli  to  sing  and  |)lay 

O'  til'  guitar  tliero  a  newer  way  ? 

Can  tlii'y  make  l)lays  there,  tliat  siiall  fit 

Tlie  public  luimour  with  less  wit  ? 

^V'^ite  wittier  dances,  quainter  shows,  705 

Or  figiit  with  more  ingenious  blows? 

Or  does  tlic  man  i'  tli'  moon  look  big, 

And  wear  a  linger  periwig, 

Shew  in  his  gait,  or  face,  more  tricks 

Than  our  own  native  lunaticks?*  770 

But,  if  w'  outdo  him  here  at  home, 

AVhat  good  of  your  design  can  come? 

As  wind,  i'  th'  hypocondres  pent,+ 

Is  but  a  blast,  if  downward  sent ; 

But  if  it  upward  chance  to  fly,  775 

Becomes  new  light  and  prophecy  ;t 

So  when  our  speculations  tend 

Above  their  just  and  useful  end, 

Altho'  they  promise  strange  and  great 

Discoveries  of  things  far  fet,  780 

They  arc  but  idle  dreams  and  fancies, 

And  savor  strongly  of  the  ganzas.§ 


tion.  See  Swift's  Works,  vol.  vi.  Pethox  the  Crent,  v.  5G. 
lluvvkeswortli's  edition.  Screen  fans  are  used  to  shade  the 
eyes  from  the  fire,  and  commonly  hang  liy  the  side  of  the  cliim- 
ney;  sometimes  ladies  carried  them  along  with  them:  they 
were  made  of  leather,  or  paper,  or  feathers.  I  have  a  picture 
of  Miss  Ireton,  who  married  Kichard  Walsh,  of  Ahberley,  in 
Worcestershire,  with  a  curious  feathered  fan  in  her  hand. 

*  These  and  the  foreKoing  lines  were  a  satire  upon  the  gait, 
dress,  and  carriage  of  Ihe  fops  and  beaux  of  those  days. 

t  In  the  hclly,  under  the  shf.rt  ribs.  These  lines  are  thus 
turned  into  Latin  by  Dr.  Ilarnier : 

Sic  hypncondriacis  inclusa  meatilnis  aura 
Kesinet  in  crepilum,  si  ferlur  prona  per  alviim  ; 
Sed  si  summa  petal,  mentisque  invasprit  arctm 
Divinus  furor  est,  et  conscia  tiamma  fuluri. 

t  New  light  was  the  phrase  at  that  time  for  any  new  opinion 
n  religion,  at.1  is  frequently  alluded  to  by  our  poet;  Ihe  phrase, 
I  am  tdid,  prevails  still  in  New  England,  as  it  dues  now  in  the 
north  of  Ireland,  where  the  dissenters  are  chiefly  divided  Into 
two  sects,  usually  styled  the  old  and  the  new  lights.  The  old 
.ights  are  such  as  rigidly  adhere  to  the  old  C'alvinistic  doctrine  ; 
nnd  the  nevv  lights  are  those  who  have  adopted  the  more  mod- 
ern latitudinarian  opinions  :  these  are  frequently  averse  and 
hostile  to  each  other,  as  their  predecessors  the  Presbyterians  and 
Independents  were  in  the  time  of  Butler. 

$  Godwin,  afterwards  bishop  of  Hereford,  nrnte  in  his  y.outh 
a  kind  of  astronomical  romance,  under  the  feigned  name  of  a. 
Spaniard,  Domingo  Gonzales,  and  entitled  it  the  Man  iu  the 


286  HUDIBRAS.  'Part  a 

Tell  me  but  what's  tlie  natural  cause 

Why  on  a  sign  no  painter  draws 

The  full  moon  ever,  but  the  half?  7i33 

Resolve  that  with  your  Jacob's  staff;* 

Or  why  wolves  raise  a  hubbub  at  her, 

And  dogs  howl  when  she  shines  in  water? 

And  I  shall  freely  give  my  vote, 

You  may  know  something  more  remote.  7M 

At  this,  deep  Sidrophcl  look'd  wise, 
And  staring  round  with  owl-like  eyes, 
He  put  his  face  into  a  posture 
Of  sapience,  and  began  to  bluster  : 
For  having  three  times  shook  his  head  795 

To  stir  liis  wit  up,  thus  he  said  : 
Art  has  no  mortal  enemies, 
Next  ignorance,  but  owls  and  geese  :t 
Those  consecrated  geese,  in  orders. 
That  to  the  capitol  were  wardei-s,t  808 

And  being  then  upon  patrol. 
With  noise  alone  beat  off  the  Gaul  ; 
Or  those  Athenian  sceptic  owls, 
That  will  not  credit  their  own  souls,§ 


Moon,  or  a  Discourse  on  a  Voya<re  thither.  It  gives  an  account 
«r  hii  hcing  dninu  up  lo  the  moon  in  a  light  vehicle,  hy  certain 
binls  ciUrd  g.inzas.  And  the  knight  censures  the  pretensions 
of  f^idriiplirl,  liy  comparing  them  with  this  wild  expeilition.  The 
poet  liki\vi-e  might  intend  to  h  inter  some  projects  of  the  learned 
Bi>hop  Wilkins,  one  of  the  first  promoters  of  the  Uoyal  Society. 
At  this  institution  and  its  favorers,  many  a  writer  of  that  day 
has  sliot  his  bolt — t<;lum  imbelle  sine  ictu. 

*  A  mathematical  instrument  for  taking  the  heights  and  dis 
tances  of  stars. 

T  '•  El  quod  vulgo  aiunt,  artem  non  habere  iniinicum  nisi  ig- 
norantem."  Sprat  thought  it  necessary  to  write  many  pages  to 
show  that  natural  philosophy  was  not  likely  to  subvert  our  gov- 
ernment, or  our  religir  n  :  and  that  experimental  knowledge  had 
no  tendency  to  mnke  men  ei'.her  bad  subjects  or  bad  Christians. 
See  Sprat's  History  of  the  Royal  Society. 

I  Our  ancesti'rs  called  the  garrison  of  a  castle  or  fortress  its 
warders;  l.en'"e  our  word  guardian.  Lands  lying  near  many  of 
the  old  castles  v.ere  held  by  the  tenure  of  castle  ward,  the  pos- 
sessors being  obliged  to  find  so  many  men  for  the  ward  or  gtiard 
of  the  castle.  This  was  afterwards  commuted  into  pecuniary 
payments,  with  which  the  governors  hired  mercenary  soldiers  of 
warders  :  the  warders  of  the  Tower  of  London  still  preserve  the 
old  appellation. 

^  Incredulous  persons.  He  calls  them  owls  on  account  of 
their  pretensions  to  great  depth  of  learning,  the  owl  being  used 
as  an  emblem  of  wisdom  ;  and  Athenian,  because  that  bird  was 
Barred  to  .Minerva,  the  )irotectress  of  Athens,  and  was  borne  on 
the  stanilards  of  the  city.  Heralds  say,  noctua  signiini  est  sapi- 
i;ntiaB  •  for  she  retires  in  the  day,  and  avoids  the  tumult  of  the 


«:anto  iii.j  IIUDIBRAS.  287 

dr  any  science  understand,  803 

Beyond  the  reach  of  eye  or  hand  ; 

l]ut  nieasiirinjj  all  things  by  tiieir  own 

Knowledge,  iiold  nothing's  to  bo  known  : 

Those  wliolcsalo  critics,  tliat  in  cofTee- 

Houses  cry  down  all  pliilosophy,  816 

And  will  not  know  upon  wiiat  ground 

In  nature  wo  our  doctrine  found, 

Altho'  witli  pregnant  evidt^nce 

We  can  demonstrate  it  to  sense, 

As  I  just  now  have  done  to  you,  815 

Foretelling  what  you  carno  to  know. 

Were  the  stars  only  made  to  ligiit 

Robbers  and  burgiarers  by  night  ?* 

To  wait  on  druidcards,  thieves,  gold-finders, 

And  lovei-s  solacing  behind  doors  ?  820 

Or  giving  one  anotlier  pledges 

(  H  matrimony  und^'r  hedges  ? 

Or  witches  sinipling,  and  on  gibbets 

Cutting  from  malefactors  snippets  ?t 

Or  from  the  piU'ry  tips  of  ears  825 

Of  rebel-saints  and  perjurers? 


world,  like  a  man  employed  in  study  and  contemplation.  Since 
the  owl,  luiut'vor,  is  visually  considered  as  a  moping,  drowsy 
bird,  the  poet  intimates  that  the  knowledge  of  these  skeptics  is 
obscure,  confused,  and  indigested.  Tlie  meaning  of  the  whole 
passage  is  this  : — There  are  two  sorts  of  men  who  are  great  ene- 
mies to  the  advancement  of  science.  The  first,  bigoted  divines, 
upon  hearing  of  any  new  discovery  in  nature,  apprehend  an  at- 
tack upon  religion,  and  proclaim  loudly  that  the  capitol,  i.  e.  the 
faith  of  the  church,  is  in  danger.  The  others  are  self-sufficient 
philosophers,  who  lay  down  arbitrary  principles,  and  rejecievery 
truth  which  dues  not  coincide  with  them. 

*  The  piH'ts  thought  the  stars  were  not  made  only  to  light 
Jobbers.    Sec  the  beautiful  address  to  Hesperus  : 

'Ecnrcpt,  ras  iparas  XP'"''£0>'  ^<ios  'Aippoycvetai,  &c. 

Brunk.  rjai 

ohK  f'ri  (fitooiiv 

'Epxouai,  oi5'  tva  ivkto;  oiomopiovT^  ivoxXiiaiii, 
'AAA'  ipa'tt),  &.C- 

Bion.  ii.  ,'(112.     lirunk  An.  vol.  i.     l\In«ch.  Idyl.  vii.  nc 

cording  lo  the  O.vford  edit,  of  Bion  and  Moschus. 

K  typ.  Clar.  1748. 

Bidro^)hel  argties,  that  so  many  Inminons  bodies  could  never 

have  been  constiucted  for  the  sole  purpose  of  alFording  a  little 

light,  in  the  absence  of  the  sun.     His  reasoning  does  not  con- 

•ribjte  much  to  the  support  of  astrology;  but  it  seems  to  favol 

the  notion  of  a  plurality  of  worlds. 

t  Collecting  herbs,  and  other  requisites,  for  their  enchant- 
ments.   See  Shakspeare's  Macbeth,  Act.  iv. 


288  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  n 

Only  to  stand  by,  and  look  on, 

But  not  know  what  is  said  or  done  ? 

Is  there  a  constellation  tiiere 

That  was  not  born  and  bicd  up  here?*  KH 

And  therefore  cannot  be  to  learn 

In  any  inferior  concern? 

Were  they  not,  during;  all  their  lives, 

jMost  of  'em  pirates,  wliores,  and  thieves? 

And  is  it  like  lliey  have  not  stii:,  833 

In  their  old  practices,  some  skill  ? 

Is  there  a  planet  that  by  birth 

Does  not  derive  its  lioriso  from  earth  ? 

And  therefore  probably  must  know 

What  is,  and  hath  been  done  below  ?  840 

Who  HKide  the  Balance,  or  whence  camo 

The  Bid!,  the  Lion,  and  the  Ram  ? 

Did  not  we  here  the  Argo  rig, 

Make  Berenice's  periwig?! 

Whose  liv'ry  does  the  coachman  wear?  845 

Or  who  made  Cassiopeia's  chair  ? 

And  therefore,  as  they  came  from  hence, 

With  us  may  hold  intelligence. 

Plato  deny'd  the  world  can  be 

Govern'd  without  geometry,!  850 

For  money  b'ing  the  common  scale 

Of  things  by  measure,  weight  and  tale, 

In  all  th'  affairs  of  church  and  state, 

'Tis  botii  (he  balance  and  the  weight : 

Then  much  less  can  it  be  without  855 

Divine  astrology  made  out, 

That  puts  the  other  down  in  worth, 

As  far  as  heaven's  above  earth. 

*  Astronomers,  both  ancient  and  modern,  have  divided  the 
heavens  into  certain  figures,  representins;  animals  anil  other  ob 
jccts.  Eratosthenes,  the  schnliast  on  Aratus,  and  Julius  Hy- 
ginus,  mention  the  reasons  which  determined  men  to  the  choice 
of  these  particular  figures.  See  Sir  Isaac  Newton's  Chronology 
of  the  Greeks,  p.  83. 

t  The  constellation  called  coma  Berenices.  Berenice,  the 
wife  of  Ptolemy  Eueraetes,  king  of  Egypt,  in  consequence  of  a 
vow,  cut  off  and  dedicated  some  of  her  l)eHUtiful  hair  to  Venns, 
on  the  return  of  her  husband  from  a  military  expedition.  And 
Conon,  the  mathematician,  paid  lier  a  handsome  compliment,  by 
forminj;  the  constellation  of  this  name.  CallimachiK  wrote  a 
poem  to  celebrate  her  affection  and  (liety ;  a  translation  of  it  by 
Catullus  is  still  preserved  in  the  works  of  that  author. 

i  I'lalo,  out  of  fondness  for  geometry,  has  employed  it  in  all 
his  systems.  lie  used  to  say  that  the  Deity  did  yeu/ztrptiir, 
play  the  geometrician  ;  that  is,  do  every  th'ng  by  weight  and 
measure. 


Canto  hi.]  IIUDIBRAS.  289 

These  reasons,  quoth  the  Knight,  I  {jrant 
Are  something  more  significant  &6ft 

Thau  any  that  the  learned  uso 
Upon  this  subject  to  produce  ; 
And  yet  they're  far  from  satisfactory, 
T'  establish  and  keep  up  your  factory 
Th'  Egyptians  say,  the  sun  has  twice*  604 

Shifted  his  setting  and  his  rise  ; 
Twice  has  lie  risen  in  the  west. 
As  many  timos  set  in  the  east  ; 
But  v/hether  that  be  true  or  no. 
The  devil  any  of  you  know.  870 

Some  hold,  tlie  heavens,  like  a  top, 
Are  kept  by  circulation  up.t 
And  were  't  not  for  their  wheeling  round. 


*  The  Efrypti.in  priests  informed  Flerniliilus  ihat,  in  tlie  space 
of  11H40  years,  the  sun  had  four  times  risen  and  set  out  of  its 
U'^uhI  course,  risinfr  twice  where  it  now  sets,  (uul  seltine  twice 
w  here  it  now  rises — ct/Qa  tc  iDv  Kara^vtrai,  ivOivrtv  (5!j  iizav- 
TtWaC  «cu(  itOcv<  &.C.  Herodotus,  Euterpe,  sen  111),  ii.  14-2.  A 
learned  person  supposes  this  account  to  he  a  corrupt  tradition  of 
the  niimculous  stop,  or  recession  of  the  sun,  in  the  times  of 
Joshua  and  llezekiah.  Others  suppose  tliat  what  the  priests 
told  him  for  a  chronical,  was  mistaken  liy  Herodotus  for  an  as- 
tronomical phenomenon  ;  and  that  the  particulars,  which  he  has 
recorded  in  the  words  h8a  and  IvOivrcv,  related  only  to  the  time 
of  ihe  day  or  year,  and  not  to  the  place  or  quarter  of  the  heav- 
ens. The  K^'yplian  year  consisted  of  no  more  than  3G0  days; 
and  therefore  the  d:iy  in  their  calendar,  which  was  once  the 
Buniiner  solstice,  would  in  73!)  years  hecome  their  winter  solstice  ; 
and,  in  UOl  years,  it  would  come  to  their  sununer  solstice  again. 
This  Censorinus  tells  us  was  really  the  case.  So  that  the  four 
revolutions  would  happen  in  a  much  shorter  time  than  Ihe  priests 
had  assigned  for  them.  Dr.  Long  explodes  the  whole  for  an  idle 
story,  invented  liy  the  Egyptians  to  support  their  vain  pretensions 
to  antiquity  ;  and  fit  lo  pass  only  among  persons  who  have  na 
knowledge  of  astronomy.  Indeed  no  others  would  believe  that 
the  cardinal  points  were  entirely  changed,  or  the  rotation  of  the 
sarlh  inverted.  See  Spenser,  Fa'.ry  Ciueen,  b.  v.  c.  i.  stanz.  C  7 
ind  8,  &c. 

And  if  to  those  Egyptian  wisards  old 

(Wiiich  in  star-read  were  wont  have  best  insight) 

Faith  may  he  given,  it  is  hy  them  told 

That  since  the  time  they  first  tooke  the  Sunncs  hight, 

Four  times  his  place  he  shifted  hath  in  sight, 

And  twice  hath  risen  where  he  now  doth  west, 

And  wested  twice  where  he  ought  rise  aright. 

t  It  is  mentioned  as  the  opinion  of  Anaxagoras,  that  the  whoie 
heaven,  which  was  composed  of  stone,  was  kept  up  hy  viojent 
circumrotation,  hut  would  fall  when  the  rapidity  of  that  motion 
should  be  remitted.  Some  do  Anaxagoras  the  honor  to  suppose, 
that  this  conceit  of  his  gave  (he  first  hint  tiwards  the  inudera 
explication  of  the  planetary  motions. 


290  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  k 

They'd  instantly  fall  to  the  ground : 

As  sage  Empedocles  of  old,  875 

And  from  him  modern  autiiors  hold. 

Plato  bcliev'd  the  sun  and  moon 

Below  all  other  planets  run.* 

Some  ^Mercury,  some  Venus  seat 

Above  the  Sun  himself  in  height.  880 

The  learned  Scaliger  complain'd 

'Gainst  what  Copernicus  maintain'd,t 

That  in  twelve  hundred  years,  and  odd, 

The  Sun  had  left  his  ancient  road. 

And  nearer  to  tlie  Earth  is  come,  885 

'Bove  fifty  thousand  miles  from  home 

Swore  'twas  a  most  notorious  flam. 

And  he  that  had  so  little  shame 

To  veni  such  fopperies  abroad, 

Dese.rv'rt  to  have  his  rump  well  claw'd:  89b 

Which  Monsieur  Bodin  hearing,  swore, 

That  he  desei-v'd  tiie  rod  mucii  more,t 

That  durst  upon  a  truth  give  doom. 

He  knew  less  than  the  pope  of  Rome. 

Cardan  believ'd  great  states  depend  895 

Upon  the  tip  o'  th'  Bear's  tail's  end  ;§ 


*  The  kiiisht  further  argues,  that  there  can  be  no  foundation 
of  truth  in  astrology,  since  the  learned  ditfer  so  much  about  the 
planets  Iheniselve's,  from  which  astrologers  c!iiefly  draw  their 
predictions.  "  Plato  solem  et  lunam  ca;tcris  planelis  inferiores 
esse  pulavit." 

t  Copernicus  thought  that  the  eccentricity  of  the  sun,  or  the 
obliquity  of  the  ecliptic,  had  been  diminished  by  many  paris 
since  the  times  of  Ptolemy  and  Hipparchu<.  On  which  Scaliger 
observed,  Copernici  scripta  spnngiis,  vel  autorcni  sculicis  dignuin 
— that  the  writings  of  Copernicus  deserved  a  sponge,  or  tht>  au 
thor  a  rod. 

t  Bodin,  an  eminent  geographer  and  lawyer,  w.as  born  at  Ati, 
gers,  in  France,  and  died  of  the  plague  at  Laon,  l.")9G,  aged  1)7. 
According  to  his  opinion,  it  has  been  clearly  proved  by  Coperni- 
cus, Reinholdus,  Stadius,  and  other  famous  mathematicians, 
that  the  circle  of  the  earth  has  approached  nearer  to  the  sun 
than  it  was  formerly. 

§  Cardan,  a  famous  physician  of  Milan,  was  horn  at  Padua, 
iolll.  He  conceived  the  influences  of  the  several  stars  to  be  ap 
propriated  to  particular  countries.  The  fate  of  the  greatest  king 
doms  in  Europe,  he  said,  was  determined  by  the  tail  of  Ursa  Ma 
■or.  This  great  astrologer  foretold  the  time  of  his  own  death 
But  when  the  appointed  day  drew  near,  he  found  himself  in  per 
feet  health,  at  the  seventy-fifth  year  of  his  age  ;  and  resolved  l» 
starve  himself,  lest  he  should  bring  disgrace  on  his  favorite  sci 
ence.  Thuanus  gives  the  character  which  Scaliger  bad  drawD 
of  him  :  In  certain  things  he  appeared  superior  to  human  under 
standing,  and  in  a  great  many  othex^  inferior  to  that  of  little  chil 
inn.    See  Dayle's  Dictionary,  An.  Cardan. 


Canto  hi. J  liuUlBRAS.  291 

That  as  she  whisk'd  it  t'wanls  the  Sun, 

Strow'a  miglity  empires  up  and  down ; 

Wliicli  others  say  iiiiist  needs  be  false, 

Because  your  true  bears  have  no  tails.  900 

Some  say,  the  zodiac  constellations 

Have  long  since  cliang'd  tlieir  antique  stations* 

Above  a  sign,  and  prove  the  same 

In  Taurus  now,  once  in  the  Ram ; 

Aflinn'd  the  Trigons  chojip'd  and  chang'd,  903 

The  wat'ry  with  tiie  fiery  rang'd  ;t 

Then  how  can  their  effects  still  hold 

To  be  the  same  they  were  of  old  ? 

This,  though  the  art  were  true,  would  make 

Our  modern  soothsayers  mistake, t  918 

And  is  one  cause  they  tell  more  lies. 

In  figures  and  nativities. 

Than  th'  old  Chaldean  conjurers. 

In  so  many  hundred  thousand  years  ;§ 

Beside  their  nonsense  in  translating,  915 

For  want  of  accidence  nnd  latin  ; 

Like  Idus  and  Calenda;  englisht 

Tiie  quarter  days,  by  skilful  linguist  ;|| 


*  The  knight,  still  further  to  lessen  the  credit  of  astrology,  ob- 
serves th:it  the  stars  hiive  suffered  a  considerable  variation  of 
their  longitude  liy  the  preccssiiin  of  the  equinoxes:  for  instance, 
the  first  star  of  Aries,  which  in  the  time  of  Melon  the  Athenian 
wus  found  in  the  very  intersection  of  the  ecliptic  and  equator,  is 
now  removed  eastward  more  than  thirty  degrees,  so  that  the 
sign  Aries  possesses  the  jjlace  of  Taurus,  Taurus  that  of  Gem- 
ini, Hnd  so  on. 

t  The  twelve  signs  in  astrology  are  divided  into  four  trigons, 
or  triplicities,  each  denominated  from  the  con-natural  clement ; 
so  they  are  three  fiery,  three  airy,  three  watery,  and  three 
earthly. 

Fiery — Aries,  Leo,  ?!iplttiriu«. 

Earthly — Taurus,  Virgo,  Capricornus. 

Airy — Gemini,  Libra,  Aquarius. 

Watery — Cancer,  Scorpio,  Pisces. 

X  Pee  our  poet's  arguments  put  into  prose  by  Dr.  Bentley,  In 
the  litter  end  of  his  third  sermon  at  IJoyle's  lectures. 

^  The  Chaldeans,  as  Cicero  remarks,  pretended  to  have  been 
in  possession  of  astrological  knowledge  for  the  long  space  of 
47,000  years.  iJut  Diodorus  informs  us  that,  in  things  belonging 
CO  their  art,  they  calculated  by  lunar  years  of  thirty  days.  By 
this  method,  however,  their  account  will  reach  to  the  creatio.i, 
if  not  to  a  more  distant  epoch.  It  is  well  known  that  Berosus, 
01  his  scholars,  new-modelled  and  adopted  the  Babylonian  doc 
trines  to  the  Grecian  mythol.igy. 

II  Mr.  Smith,  of  Ilarleston,  says  this  Is  a  banter  upon  Sir  Rich' 
ud  Fanshawe's  translation  of  Horace,  Epod.  ii.  GU,  70. 

Oinnem  relegit  idibus  pccuniam, 
Uueerit  calendis  ponere. 
25 


299  IIUUIBRAS.  [1'art  n 

And  yet  with  canting,  sliglit,  and  iheat 

'Twill  servo  tlioir  turn  to  do  the  feat ;  02t 

Make  fools  believe  in  their  foreseeing 

Of  things  before  they  are  in  being  ; 

To  swallow  gudgeons  ere  they're  catoli'd, 

And  count  their  chickens  ere  tiiey're  hatch'd  ; 

Make  them  the  constellations  prompt,  923 

And  give  them  back  their  own  accoinpt ; 

But  still  the  best  to  him  that  gives 

The  best  price  for"t,  or  best  believes. 

Some  towns,  some  cities,  some  for  brevity, 

Have  cast  the  'versal  world's  nativity,  930 

And  made  the  infant  stars  confess, 

Like  fools  or  children,  what  they  please. 

Some  calculate  the  hidden  fates 

Of  monkeys,  pu])py-dogs,  and  cats; 

Some  running-nags,  and  tighting-cocks,  933 

Some  love,  trade,  law-suits,  and  the  i)o.\  ; 

Some  take  a  measure  of  the  lives 

Of  fathers,  mothers,  husbands,  wives, 

Make  opposition,  trine,  and  quartile, 

Tell  who  is  barren,  and  who  fertile  ;  94j 

As  if  the  planet's  tirst  aspect 

The  tender  infant  did  infect* 


At  Micha;liiias  calls  all  his  monies  in, 
And  at  our  Laily  puts  them  out  again. 
The  fifteenth  day  of  March,  May,  July,  and  October,  and  the 
thirteenth  day  of  all   oilier  iiionlhs,  was  called  the  ides.     The 
first  day  of  every  month  was  called  the  calends. 

*  The  accent  is  laid  upon  the  last  syllable  of  as|>ect,  as  it  often 
is  in  Shakspeare :  see  l)r.  Farmer's  observations  on  the  learning 
:if  Shakspeare,  p.  27.  Astrologers  reckon  five  aspects  of  the 
planets-  conjunction,  sexlile,  quartile  trine,  and  opposition. 
Sextile  denotes  iheir  being  distant  from  each  other  a  .sixth  part 
of  a  circle,  or  two  signs  ;  quartile,  a  fourth  part,  or  three  signs  ; 
trine,  a  third  part,  or  four  signs;  opposition,  half  the  circle,  or 
directly  opposite.  It  was  the  opinion  of  judicial  astrologers,  that 
whatever  good  disposition  the  infant  might  otherwise  have  been 
endued  with,  yet  if  its  birth  was,  by  any  accident,  so  accelerated 
or  retarded,  that  it  fell  in  with  the  predominance  of  a  malignant 
constellation,  this  momentary  influence  would  entirely  change 
its  nature,  and  bias  it  to  all  contrary  ill  qualities.  The  ancients 
had  an  opinion  of  the  influence  of  the  stars  : 

gcit  Genius,  nalale  comes  qui  teniperat  astrum. 

Horat.  Ep.  lib.  ii.  Ep.  ii.  I.  18T. 
There  would  be  no  end  of  quoting  authors  on  this  subject,  such 
as  Menander  and  I'lularth  among  the  Gret-ks  ;  and  among  the 
Latins,  Hontce,  Persius,  Ammianjs  .Marcellinus,  and  Censorinui 
dc  die  iiatali. 

The  tender  infant  aid  2«/tc<— Thus  in  line  !I3I  : 

.•Vnd  make  the  intaiii  stirs  confess. 


i:iNTo  UI.3  IIUDIBRA8.  203 

In  soul  and  body,  and  instill 

All  future  {rood  and  future  ill  ; 

Wiiicli  in  their  dark  fatalities  lurking,  94» 

At  destined  j)eriods  fall  a  workin'j;, 

And  break  out,  like  the  iiidden  seeds 

Of  long  diseases,  into  deeds, 

In  friendships,  enmities,  and  strife, 

And  all  th'  emergencies  of  life  :  050 

No  sooner  does  lie  [leep  into 

The  world,  but  lie  liaj  done  his  do, 

Oatch'd  all  diseases,  took  all  physick. 

That  cures  or  kills  a  man  that  is  sick  ; 

Marry 'd  his  punctual  dose  of  ivives,  353 

Is  cuckolded,  and  breaks,  or  tbrii'cs. 

There's  but  the  twinkling  of  a  star 

Retwoiii  a  man  of  peace  and  war  ; 

A  thief  and  justice,  fool  and  knave, 

A  huffing  ofl"cer  and  a  slave  ;  OfO 

A  crafty  lawyer  and  pick-pocket, 

A  great  |)hilosopher  and  a  blockhead  ; 

A  formal  preaclier  and  a  player, 

A  learn'd  |)iiysician  and  man-slayer  :* 

As  if  men  from  the  stars  did  suck  965 

Old  age,  diseases,  and  ill  luck, 

^Vit,  folly,  honour,  virtue,  vice. 

Trade,  travel,  women,  cla])s,  and  dice  : 

And  draw,  with  the  first  air  they  breathe,. 

Battle,  and  murder,  sudden  death.t  970 

Are  not  these  fine  commodities 

To  be  imported  from  the  skies. 

And  vended  here  among  the  rabble. 

For  staple  goods,  and  warrantable? 

Like  money  by  the  Druids  borrow'd,  975 

In  til'  other  world  to  be  restor'd.t 


*  In  the  public  opinion,  pcrhtip';,  there  i<!  ihniight  to  !>«  a  coin- 
eiilcnce  in  these  chiiracters  ;  and  some  of  ihcin,  wc  iiiiist  own, 
nrc  more  nciirly  allied  than  others.  Tne  autlivir  too,  with  hia 
usual  |)leasantry,  iiiiaht  1)6  willinf!  to  allow  the  resemblance  in 
a  ccrl.iin  degree  ;  but  the  scope  of  his  argument  requires  him  to 
iillribute  to  them  distinct  and  opposite  qualities;  and  in  this 
sense,  no  doubt,  he  meant  .seriou.>ly  to  be  under.stoo<I. 

t  This  is  one  of  the  petitions  in  the  I/it.iny,  which  the  dis- 
Bcntcrs  objected  to;  especially  the  words  siulden  death,  bee 
Bennet's  London  Cases  abridjied,  ch.  iv.  p.  100. 

t  That  is,  astrologers,  l)y  endeavoring  to  persuade  men  that 
the  stars  have  dealt  out  to  them  their  fiunre  fortunes,  are  guilty 
of  a  similar  fraud  with  the  Druitis,  who  borrowed  money  on  3 
promise  of  repaying  it  after  denth.  Druida-  pccuni;im  mutuo  ac- 
(ipiebant,  in  posteriure  vila  rcddituri.    Tills  practice  among  lh<3 


y94  IIUDIBKAS  \Pari  n 

Quoth  Sidropliel,  To  lot  you  know 
You  wrong  tlie  art  and  artists  too, 
8ince  arguments  are  lost  on  those 
Tliat  do  our  principles  o,"pase,  OiM 

I  will,  altho'  I've  don't  before. 
Demonstrate  to  your  sense  once  more, 
And  draw  a  figure  that  shall  tell  you 
What  you,  perluips  forget  befel  you  ; 
By  way  of  horary  ins])ectioa,*  985 

Which  some  account  our  worst  erection. 

With  that,  he  circles  draws,  and  squares, 
With  cypiicrs,  astral  charactere. 
Then  looks  'em  o'er  to  understand  'em, 
Altho'  set  down  habnab  at  random.t  990 

Quoth  he,  This  scheme  of  th'  iieavens  set, 
Discovers  how  in  figlit  you  met, 
At  Kingston,  with  a  may-pole  idol,t 
And  that  y'were  bang'd  both  back  and  side  well  ; 
And  tho'  you  overcame  tiie  bear,  995 


nriiids  was  founded  on  their  doctrine  of  the  iiiiiiiortality  of  the 
roul.  Valerius  Maximus  says  of  the  Gauls  in  general,  Vetus 
illeGalloruiii  nios — quos  iiieinoria  proriituiiiest,  pecunias  inutuas, 
lua-  Ills  apud  inferos  redderentur,  dare  solitos,  fjuia  i)ersuasH:n 
lialiucrunt,  aniinas  hominuni  inmiortales  esse,  ii.  6,  10.  And 
Mela  says,  Ununi  ex  ils  (ina;  pra'cipiunt  (Druiiles)  in  vulgus 
ulliuxit — aternas  esse  aniiiias,— iiaque  cum  iiiortuis  cremant 
at  defodiunt  apta  viventilius  oliui.  Negotioruni  ratio  eliain 
et  exactio  credit!  deterebatur  ad  inferos,  ii.  2. — Bonzes,  in 
the  East  Indies,  are  said  to  liave  l)een  acquainted  with  this  prac 
tice. 

*  The  horoscope  is  the  pointof  the  heavens  wliich  rises  above 
the  eastern  horizon,  at  any  pirticular  monient. 

t  Dr.  Uavies  says  habnab  is  a  Welsh  word,  and  signifies  rash- 
ly, at  random.  [Nares  says,  habbe  or  nabbe.  Have  or  have  not, 
hit  or  miss,  at  a  venture :  quasi,  have  or  n'ave,  i.  e.  have  not; 
as  nil/  for  will  not.  "Tlie  citizens  in  their  rage  imagining  that 
every  post  in  the  churclie  had  bin  one  of  their  souliiyers,  shot 
liabbe  or  nabbc,  at  random."  Ilolinshed,  Hist,  of  Ireland.  F.  2, 
col.  2.] 

i  Mr.  Butler  alludes  to  the  counterfeited  second  part  of  UaiVi- 
liras,  published  Kiti:!.  'J'lie  first  annotator  gives  us  to  understand, 
that  some  silly  interlopL'r  liad  broken  in  upun  our  autl)or's  de- 
sign, and  invenleil  a  second  part  of  his  book.  In  tliis  spurious 
production,  the  rencounters  of  Hiidibras  at  Hrenlford,  ihe  trans- 
actions of  a  mountebank  whom  he  met  with,  and  pr(il)il)ly  these 
adventures  of  the  May-pole  at  Kingston, are  described  at  length. 
Cervantes,  the  author  ol  Don  (iuixote,  met  with  Ihe  like  treat- 
ment, [from  Alphon^us  Fernandes  de  A\ellaneda  ;]  and  vindica- 
le<l  liim-elf  in  the  same  m  inner,  by  making  his  knight  declare 
that  he  was  no  way  concerned  in  those  exploits  which  a  new 
historian  had  relaled  of  him.  Mny-polcs  were  held  in  abomina- 
tion by  the  saints  of  nur  autljnr's  time;  and  many  writers  ha\e 
expressed  their  abhorrence  of  tlieui  with  great  acrimony. 


Onto  ni.]  IIUUIURAS.  ^pe 

Tlio  dogs  beat  yoii  at  Brentford  fair ; 
Where  sturdy  biitcliers  broke  your  noddle. 
And  liaiulled  you  like  a  fop-doodle. 

Qnolli  Iliidibras,  I  now  j)erccivc 
You  are  no  conj'rer,  by  your  leave  ;  lOOJ 

That  i>altry  story  is  untrue, 
And  forsr'd  to  cheat  such  gulls  as  you. 

Not  true  ?  quoth  lie  ;  howe'cr  you  vapour, 
I  can  what  I  allirni  make  appear; 
Whachiuu  shall  justify't  to  your  face,  lOO."; 

And  prove  he  was  upon  the  ])lac6 : 
He  play'd  the  saltinbancho's  part,* 
Transfomi'd  t'  a  I'Venchinan  by  my  art ; 
He  stole  your  clonk,  and  pick'd  your  j)ocket, 
ChousM  and  caldes'd  you  like  a  blockhead, t 
And  what  you  lost  I  can  produce. 
If  you  deny  it,  here  i'  the  house. 

Quoth  lludibras,  I  do  believe 
That  argument's  demonstrative  ; 
Kalpho,  bear  witness,  and  go  fetch  us  013 

A  constable  to  seize  the  wretches  : 
For  tho'  they're  both  false  knaves  and  cheats,! 


*  Salliinl):inqne  is  a  French  word,  si<:nifyin«  a  quack  or  iiioiin- 
teh.ink.     I'crliMps  it  was  originally  It:ilian. 

t  Caldes'd  is  a  word  of"  llie  jxiet's  own  coining.  IMr.  Warbur- 
ton  thinks  he  took  the  hint  from  the  Clialdeans,  who  were  great 
fortune-tellers.  Others  su|)|iuse  il  may  lie  derived  from  the 
Gothic,  or  old  TeiUonic,  a  lan^Mia';e  use<l  liy  the  Picls;  among 
whom  Cal<l(;es,  or  Keldeis,  as  l^potswood  thinks,  were  the  an- 
cient iiiinistcrs  or  pricsls,  and  so  calleil  because  they  lived  in 
cells.  See  Ctiniden's  account  of  the  Orkney  Isles.  I'inkerton, 
in  his  History  of  the  Scots,  p.  27:!,  says.  "  the  Calilces  united  in 
"  themselves  the  distinctions  of  monks  and  of  secular  clergy, 
-being  apparently,  to  the  eleventh  century,  the  only  monks  and 
"clergy  in  Scotland,  and  all  Irish."  Uiu  perhaps  vvo  ought  ra- 
ther to  look  for  this  word  in  llie  vocabulary  of  gipsies  and  pick- 
pockets, thin  either  among  the  Chaldeans,  the  Scots,  or  the 
Irish.  The  signilic^uion  of  it,  in  Sutler's  Remains,  is  the  saina 
witli  trepanned.     Vol.  i.  24  : 

A-^ham'il  that  men  so  grave  and  wise 
Should  be  chaldes'd  by  gnats  and  flies. 

Mr.  Butler's  MS.  Conunon-place  book  has  the  following  line» 
He  that  with  injury  is  griev'd, 
And  goes  to  law  lo  be  reliev'd. 
Is  like  a  silly  rabble  chouse, 
Who,  when  a  thief  had  rolib'd  his  nouse. 
Applies  himself  to  cunning  man 
'I'll  help  him  to  his  goods  agen. 

I  Though  they  are  false  by  their  own  confession,  I  wili  inaic6 
tfiein  true  for  another  purp  )sc. 


29f)  ilUDIBRAS.  [Parfji 

Imposters,  jugglers,  connterfeits, 

I'll  make  them  serve  for  perper.jlic'lars, 

As  true  as  e"er  were  us'd  by  bricklayers  :•  1021 

Tliey're  guilty,  by  tlieir  own  confessions, 

Of  felony,  and  at  the  sessions. 

Upon  the  bench  I  will  so  liandle  'em, 

Tlial  tiie  vibration  of  this  pendulum 

Shall  make  ail  tailors'  yards  of  one  1031 

Unanimous  opinion  :t 

A  thing  he  long  lias  vapour'd  of, 

But  now  shall  make  it  out  by  proof. 

Quoth  .Sidro])hel,  I  do  not  doubt 
To  find  friends  that  will  bear  me  out  :l  1030 


*  i.  e.  swinj;  them  in  ;i  line,  like  a  hrickl.iyer's  level, 
t  Mr.  Biiilur,  in  his  own  mile  on  this  p:i.ss!iL'e,  snys :  "The  de 
"vice  of  the  vihration  of  a  pendulum,  was  intendeil  to  settle  a 
'certain  measure  of  ells,  yiird>i,  &.C.,  H II  the  world  over,  which 
"should  have  its  foundation  in  nature.  For  l>y  swinging  a 
"  wei!;ht  at  the  enil  of  a  string,  and  calculating  by  the  luotion  of 
"  the  sun  or  any  star,  how  long  the  vil)ration  would  last,  in  pro- 
"  portion  to  the  length  of  the  string  and  weight  of  the  pendu- 
"  luni.  they  thought  to  reiluce  it  li-.ick  again,  and  from  any  part 
"of  time  compute  the  e.\:ict  length  of  any  siring,  that  must 
"  necess.irily  vilirate  for  such  a  period  of  time.  So  that  if  a  man 
"should  ask  in  China  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour  of  tatteta,  they 
"would  know  perfectly  well  what  he  n>eant:  and  the  measure 
"  of  things  would  lie  rt'ck<ined  no  more  by  the  yard,  foot,  or  inch  : 
"but  by  the  hour,  quarter,  and  minute."  See  his  Remains  by 
Thyer,  vol.  i.  p.  31) : 

By  which  he  had  composed  a  pedlar's  jargon. 
For  all  the  world  to  learn  and  use  lo  bargain, 
An  universal  canting  idiom 
To  understand  the  swinging  pendulum, 
And  lo  comiMunicate  in  all  designs 
With  tir  Eastern  viituoso  mandarines. 
And  Dr.  Derham's  e.\()eriment3  concerning  the  vibration  of  a 
pendulum,  in  the  I'hilosophical  Transactions,  vol.  iii.  No.  440,  p. 
201.    The  moderns.  perha|>s,  will  not  be  more  successful  in  their 
endeavors  lo  establish  an  universal  stantlard  of  weights  and 
measures. 

[If  the  reader  wishes  to  see  the  use  the  morlerns  have  made 
of  the  pendulum,  he  may  refer  to  "  .^n  account  of  Experiments 
"  to  determine  the  times  of  vibration  of  the  I'enduluni  in  differ- 
"  ent  latitudes,  by  Captain  Enward  Sabine  of  the  Royal  Regi 
"  ment  of  Artillery,"  in  the  Philosophical  Transactions  for  the 
year  IH-Jl — to  the  volume  for  ISi'.i — and  to  the  volume  for  1837 
page  133,  where  he  perhaps  will  find  that  at  least  the  Captain  is 
not  the  man  "  by  the  long  level  of  his  repeating  circle"  lo 

make  all  tailors'  yards  of  one 

Unanimous  opinion.] 
I  William  Lilly  wrote  and  prophesied  for  the  parliament,  till 
he  perceived  their  intluenco  decline,     lie  then  changeil  sides; 
bnt  having  declared  himself  rather  too  soon,  he  was  taken  into 


Canto  HI.]  JIUDIHIIAS.  207 

Nor  liave  I  liuzardea  my  art, 
And  iirck,  so  loii^  on  the  state's  part, 
To  bo  exposed  i'  Ih'  end  to  sutler 
13y  sucli  a  biairjrudocio  liiiller. 

Hiill'er,  qiiolli  Hiidibrus,  this  sword  1033 

Sball  down  lliy  false  throat  cram  tbat  word  ; 
lialplio,  make  haste,  and  call  an  oflicer, 
To  apprehend  this  Stygian  sophisler  ;* 
Mean  while  Til  iiold  'em  at  a  bay, 
Lest  he  and  Wliachum  run  away.  1010 

Rut  iSidrophcl,  wlio  from  the  aspect 
Of  Hudibrus,  did  now  erect  ^-y 

A  figure  worse  portending  far. 
Than  that  of  most  malignant  star  ; 
Believ'd  it  now  the  fittest  moment  1045 

To  slum  the  danger  tliat  might  come  on't, 
While  Hudibras  was  all  alone, 
And  he  and  Whacluim,  two  to  one  : 
This  being  resolv'd,  he  spy'd  by  chance, 
Behind  the  door,  an  iron  lance, t  1050 

That  many  a  sturdy  limb  had  gor'd 
And  legs,  and  loins,  and  shoulders  bor'd  ; 
He  snatcird  it  up,  and  made  a  pass, 
To  make  his  way  thro'  Hudibras. 
Wliachum  liiid  got  a  fire-fork,  1055 

With  which  he  vow'd  to  do  his  work  ; 
But  Hudibras  was  well  prepar'd, 
And  stoutly  stood  upon  iiis  guard : 
He  put  by  Sidrophello's  thrust. 

And  in  right  manfully  he  ruslit,  1060 

The  weapon  from  his  gripe  he  wrung. 
And  laid  him  on  the  earth  along. 
Whachum  his  sea-coal  prong  threw  by, 
And  basely  turn'd  his  back  to  fly  ; 
But  Hudibras  gave  him  a  twitch,  1005 

As  quick  as  lightning,  in  the  breech, 
Just  in  tlie  place  where  hciiour's  lodg'd,t 

custody;  anil  escnped  only,  as  he  tells  iis  himself,  liy  the  inter- 
ference of  friendi,  and  by  cancelling  the  (ilfen^^ive  leaf  in  his 
alniitnac. 

*  i.  e.  hellish  snphister. 

t  \  ?|>it  fur  riiiviting  meat. 

t  Mr.  Uiitler  In  his  speech  made  at  the  U()t:>,  says,  (Gennine 
Remains,  vdI.  i.  p.  IKH:)  "  !?ome  are  of  opinion  that  honor  is  seat- 
"cd  in  the  rninp  only,  chiefly  at  least:  for  it  i<  nixerved,  that  a 
"small  kick  on  that  pan  iloes  more  hurt  and  wound  lionor  thaa 
"  a  cut  on  the  head  or  face,  or  a  slah,  or  a  shot  of  a  pistol,  on  aii| 
"  other  part  of  the  body." 


298  IIUDIBRAS  FPart  n 

As  wise  philosophers  have  jud;f'd  ; 
Because  a  kick  in  that  part  more 
Hurts  iionour,  than  deep  wounds  before  107 

Quoth  lladib;as,  The  stars  determine 
You  are  my  prisoners,  base  vermin, 
Could  they  not  fell  you  so,  as  well 
As  wliat  I  came  to  know,  foretell? 
By  this,  what  cheats  you  are,  we  find,  107a 

Tliat  in  your  own  concerns  are  blind.* 
Your  lives  are  now  at  my  dispose, 
To  be  redecm'd  by  fine  or  blows : 
But  who  his  honour  would  defile, 
To  take,  or  sell,  two  lives  so  vile  ?  10*0 

I'll  give  yon  quarter;  but  your  pillage, 
The  conqu'ring  warrior's  crop  and  tillage, 
Which  with  his  sword  he  reaps  and  plows, 
That's  mine,  the  law  of  arms  allows. 

Tills  said  in  haste,  in  haste  he  fell  lOS."! 

To  rummaging  of  Sidrophel. 
First,  he  exj)ouiuled  both  his  pockets. 
And  found  a  watch  with  rings  and  lockets,t 
Which  had  been  left  with  him  t'  erect 
A  figure  for,  and  so  detect.  J 093 

A  copper-plate,  with  almanacks 
Engrav'd  iipon't,  with  other  knackst 
Of  Booker's,  Lilly  s,  Sarah  Jimmer's,§ 
And  blank-schemes  to  discover  nimmers  ;|1 

*  "  Astrologers,"  says  Agrippa,  "  while  Iheygaze  on  llie  stars 
•■' for  direction,  fall  into  ditclies,  wells,  smd  {.'iials  "  'J'lie  crafty 
Tiberius,  not  content  with  a  pmuiiie  of  empire,  examined  the 
astrologer  concerning  his  own  horoscope,  inlen(ring  to  <ln)wn  him 
on  the  least  appearance  of  falsehood.  But  Thrasyllus  was  al- 
ways too  cunnin;;  for  him :  he  answered  the  tirst  time,  "  that  he 
'perceived  him-elf  at  that  instant  tu  be  In  imminent  danger ;" 
and  afterwards,  "  that  he  was  destined  to  die  just  ten  yea;'< 
'  before  the  emperor  himself."    Tacit.  Ann.  vi.  21.    Dio  Iviii.  'J?. 

t  To  negotiate  between  the  robber  and  the  robbed,  was  cer 
tain'y  the  most  profitable  part  of  the  astrologer's  business. 

t  That  is, marks  or  signs  belonging  to  the  astrologer's  art:  from 
the  Anglo-Saxon  cnapan,  to  know,  or  understand.  Knack  often 
eignifies  a  bauble  or  plaything:  a  child's  ball  is  called  a  knack. 
The  Glossarisl  on  F/oiiglas  says:  "  We  (the  Scots)  use  the  word 
'■knack  for  a  witty  expression,  or  action  :  a  knacky  man,  that  is, 
"a  witty  facetious  mm;  which  may  come  from  the  Teutonic 
'schnaike,  facetias."  The  verb  to  knack,  in  Douglas,  gignilies  tc 
ticck. 

^  .lohn  Booker  was  born  at  .Manche^'er,  and  a  great  astrologer. 
Lilly  has  frequently  been  mentioned.  Sarah  Jiminers,  calledi 
by  Lilly.  Sarah  Skilhorn,  was  a  great  speculatrix. 

II  'J'hieves :  from  the  A.  S.  ninian,  rapere,  though  it  generally 
(igulfies  pickpockets,  private  stealers. 


•  Unto  III.]  IIUUIBRAS.  oyo 

\  moon-dial,  with  Napier's  bones,*  1095 

And  sev'rul  constellation  stones, 

Enjjrav'd  in  planetary  hours. 

That  over  mortals  had  strange  powers 

To  make  them  thrive  in  law  or  trade, 

And  stab  or  poison  to  evade  ;  HOC 

In  wit  or  wisdom  to  improve, 

And  bo  victorious  in  love. 

Whachnin  had  neither  cross  nor  pile,t 

His  plunder  was  not  worth  the  wiiile ; 

All  which  the  conqu'ror  did  discompt,  1105 

To  pay  for  curing  of  his  rump. 

But  Sidropiiel,  as  full  of  tricks 
As  rota-men  of  politics, t 
Straight  cast  about  to  over-reach 
Th'  unwary  conqu'ror  with  a  fetch,  UIO 

And  make  him  glad  at  least  to  quit 
His  victory,  and  fly  the  pit. 
Before  the  secular  prince  of  darkness^ 
Arriv'd  to  seize  upon  his  carcass: 
And,  as  a  fox  with  hot  pursuit, ||  1115 

Chas'd  through  a  warren,  cast  about 

*  Lord  Napier  of  Scotland,  was  author  of  an  invention  for 
casting  up  any  sums  or  numbers  l)y  little  rods,  whicli  being  made 
of  ivory,  were  called  N:i pier's  bones.  He  first  discovered  the  use 
of  logaritlims  in  irijjonumeiry,  and  made  it  public  in  a  work  print- 
ed at  Edinburgh,  H)14:  an  instance  of  ingenuity  which  should 
never  be  uienlioned  without  a  tribute  of  praise.  His  lordship 
was  one  of  the  early  members  of  the  Royal  Society  before  its 
incorporation,  which  the  poet  takes  frequent  occasions  to  l>anter. 

I  [Money  fre<|uently  bore  a  cross  (m  one  side,  and  the  head  of 
a  spear  or  arrow,  pilum,  on  the  other.  Cross  and  pile  were  our 
heads  and  t:iils.  "This  I  humbly  conceive  to  he  i)erfect  boy's 
play;  cross.  I  win,  and  pile,  you  lose."     Swift.] 

}  Mr.  James  Harrington,  sometime  in  the  .service  of  Charles  I., 
drew  up  ami  printed  a  form  of  popular  government,  after  the 
king's  (loath,  entitled  the  Commonwe.ilth  of  Oceana.  He  en- 
deavored, likew  .se,  to  promote  his  scheme  by  public  discourses,  at 
a  nightly  club  of  several  curious  gentleinsn,'Henrv  Nevil,  Charles 
Wolseli;y,,lohn  Wililmin,  Doctor  (afterwards  Sir  William)  Petty, 
who  met  in  New  Palace-yard,  VVestminster.  Mr.  Henry  iN'evil 
proposed  to  the  liiiu<e  of  commons,  that  a  third  part  of  its  meud>er3 
siioiild  rote  out  by  ballot  every  year,  and  be  incapible  of  re-elcc- 
tu)n  lor  three  yenrs  to  come.  This  club  was  called  the  Rota 
Bwill.  Contests  in  Athens  and  Komi;,  ch.  v.  p.  74,  note. 

$  'I'he  constable  who  governs  atid  keeps  the  peace  at  night. 

II  Olans  Magnus  has  related  m any  such  stories  of  the  fo.x'3 
cunning:  his  imitating  the  barking  of  a  dog;  feigning  himself 
dead  ;  riilding  himself  of  fler;s.  by  going  gradually  into  the  water 
with  a  lock  of  woi;l  in  his  mouth,  and  when  the  tieas  are  driven 
Into  it,  leaving  the  wool  in  the  water;  catching  crabfuh  with 
his  tail,  which  the  author  avers  for  truth  on  his  own  knowledge 
Oi  Mug.  Hist.  I  18. 


;J00  HUDIBRAS.  irARra 

To  save  liis  credit,  and  among 

Dead  vermin  on  a  gallows  iiung, 

And  while  the  dogs  ran  underneath 

Escap'd,  by  counterfeiting  death,  1128 

Not  out  of  cnnning,  but  a  train 

Of  atoms  justling  in  iiis  brain,* 

As  jearn'd  pliilosojjhers  give  out ; 

So  Sidrophello  cast  about. 

And  fell  to's  wonted  trade  again,  1125 

To  feign  iiimself  in  earnest  slain  :T 

First  stretch'd  out  one  leg,  then  anolhei, 

And,  seeming  in  his  breast  to  smother 

A  broken  sigh,  quoth  he.  Where  am  I'i 

Alive,  or  dead  ?  or  whicii  way  catne  I  lloO 

Thro'  so  immense  a  space  so  soon  ? 

But  now  I  thought  myself  i'  th'  mcou  ; 

And  that  a  monster  with  huge  wliiskers, 

Moie  formidable  than  a  Switzer's, 

My  body  thro'  and  thro'  had  drill'd,  1135 

And  Whachum  by  my  side  had  kill'd. 

Had  cross-examin'd  both  our  hose,t 

And  plunder'd  all  we  had  to  lose  ; 

Look,  there  he  is,  I  see  him  now, 

And  feel  the  place  I  am  run  thro':  1140 

And  there  lies  Whachum  by  my  side. 

Stone-dead,  and  in  his  own  blood  dy'd. 

Oh  I  oh  I  with  that  he  fctch'd  a  groan, 

And  fell  again  into  a  swoon  ; 

Shut  both  I'is  eyes,  and  stopt  his  breath,  145 

And  to  the  life  out-acted  death. 

That  Hudibras,  to  all  appearing, 

Believ'd  him  to  be  dead  as  herring. 


*  The  ancient  atomic  ohilosophers,  Denincritns,  Epicuras,  &c. 
held  tliat  sense  in  hrutes,  and  cogii;iiif)n  and  voliiion  in  n.en, 
were  produced  liy  impression  o''  corporeal  atoms  on  the  brain 
Cartesius  allowed  no  sense  norcoKitation  to  brutes.  He  supposed 
that  sensitive  principles  were  immalerial  as  well  as  rational 
ones,  and  therefore  concludeil  that  brutes  could  have  no  sense, 
unless  their  sensitive  souls  were  inimalerial  and  immortal  sub- 
stances. AiUoniiis  Mapnus,  another  I'renchman,  published  a 
book  near  the  Author's  time.  Uecarenlia  sensus  et  cojinitionis  in 
brutis.  But  the  author  perhaps  meant  to  ridicule  Sir  Kcnelm 
Difiby,  who  relates  this  story  of  the  Cox,  and  maintains  that  there 
was  no  thought  nor  cunning,  but  merely  a  particular  disposition 
of  atoms. 

t  The  reader  may  recollect  the  very  humorous  circuni'stancej 
of  Falstalf's  counterfeited  death.  Shaks|iearc,  First  Part  of 
Henry  IV.  Act  v. 

i  Trunk-hose  with  pockets  to  them. 


:anto  III  ]  nUDlBRAS.  301 

He  hold  it  now  no  long'er  safe, 

To  tarry  the  return  of  Riil|)li,  IIjO 

Kilt  rutlu-r  leave  liiin  in  the  hn-ch  :* 

Thoii^rhl  he,  ho  has  a!)iis'(l  luir  church, t 

Refus'd  to  give  himself  one  firk, 

To  carry  on  the  |)ublic  work, 

Despis'd  our  synod-men  like  dirt,  1153 

And  made  their  discipline  his  sport ; 

Divulir'd  t.he  secrets  of  their  classes. 

And  their  conventions  prov'd  high  places  ;t 

l)isi)ara;r'd  their  tithe-pigs,  as  pagan, 

And  set  at  nought  their  cheese  and  bacon  :  IIGC 

Rail'd  at  their  covenant,  and  jeer'd 

Their  rev'rend  parsons,  to  my  beard  ; 

For  all  which  scandals,  to  be  quit 

At  once,  this  juncture  falls  out  fit. 

ril  make  him  henceforth,  to  beware,  1165 

And  tempt  my  fury  if  he  dare  : 

He  must,  at  least,  hold  up  his  hand,§ 

Hy  twelve  freeholders  to  be  scanu'd. 

Who,  by  their  skill  in  palmistry, || 

U'ill  quickly  read  his  destiny,  1170 

And  make  him  glad  to  read  his  lesson. 

Or  take  a  turn  for't  at  the  session  :^ 


*  The  different  sects  of  dissenters  left  each  other  in  the  lurch, 
whenever  nn  opportunity  offered  of  promoting  a  separate  in- 
terest. 

t  This  and  the  foUowinp lines  have  liecn  prodnced  l)ysoiTieas 
an  arfiuiiient  to  prove  that  tlie  poem  was  enicmntical  and  figura- 
tive ;  but  it  only  proves  that  Iludiliras  represents  the  Presbyteri- 
ans, and  Kalplio  the  Independents. 

t  That  is,  corruptions  in  discipline — rank  popery  and  idolatry. 

^  Culprits,  when  they  are  tried,  hold  up  their  hands  at  the 
bar. 

II  From  p:ilina.  Alludinp  to  (he  method  of  telling  fortunes  by 
inspection  of  lines  in  the  palm  of  the  hand. 

li  That  is,  claim  the  benefit  of  clergy,  or  be  hanged.  Tom 
Nash,*  a  writer  of /arces — [there  are  but  three  dramatic  works 

•  This  Tom  Na»h  should  not  be  confountlcd  wiUi  Thomas  N.i'ih,  barrister, 
of  the  Inner  Temple,  who  is  buried  in  that  church,  and  has  the  luliowin^  in- 
•criptiun. 

Dcpositum  Thoma  Nash  ffetierosi  honesta  orti  Tamiiia  in  asrro  Vi^omicnsi 
viri  cliaritAre  huinilirate  exiinii  el  mire  inansueii  Grxce  Liitine  Galtice  et  Italicc 
apprime  «lucti  plnrnim  (tjiios  scripsit  ininstnlit  ehicalavit  eitiJit)  liliroruin  au- 
thorin  jure  ainpleclandi  niterioris  tempi)  anaos  circiter  30  r(.-pa>^tilari3  non  so- 
liili  minuj  quam  synceri 

Tho.  Nash  obiit  2S<>.  Au^uati  I&I8. 

1  have  never  seen  aiiv  of  hii  works,  but  am  iiifonncil  that  the  School  of  Po- 
tenlaics,  Iranhl.ili'd  Irum  ihe  Laiui,  wi:li  ubserv.itions.  In  oclavo,  1648,  wjis  his, 
aiul  that  he  pr.jliaUlv  wrote  the  I'onrlulJ  ili>courise  ni  ipiarin,  1632.  ile  was  a 
tealous  ruynliKl,  cuiitnirv  to  the  senmnents  of  his  two  brothers;  the  rIOett  a 
country  ^entkunui  in  Worcesiershin;,  of  considerable  esiuta,  from  whom  ths 
•ditor  M  Ues-:ciidcd,  was  very  active  ic  supportuig  the  Parliament  cauae,  and 


502  ilUDIBRAS.  [Part  u 

Unless  his  light  and  gifts  prove  truer 

Than  ever  yet  they  did,  Tm  sure  ; 

For  if  he  'scape  with  whipping  now,  117! 

'Tis  move  than  he  can  liope  to  do : 

And  that  will  disengage  my  conscience 

Of  th'  ohligation,  in  his  own  sense : 

I'll  make  him  now  by  force  abide. 

What  he  by  gentle  means  deny'd,  11?C 

To  give  my  honour  satisfaction, 

And  right  the  brethren  in  the  action. 

This  being  resolv'd,  with  equal  speed, 

And  conduct,  he  approach'd  his  steed, 

And  with  activity  unwont,  \l8t 

Essay'd  the  lofty  beast  to  mount ; 


jf  his,  Dido  a  tragedy,  and  two  comedlesj — in  Queen  Elizabeth's 
reign,  wlio  died  helore  the  year  lOOfi.  is  supposed  liy  Dr.  Farmer 
t'j  satirize  Shakspeare  for  want  of  learning,  in  the  following 
words :  "  I  leave,"  saith  he,  "  all  these  to  the  mercy  of  their 
"  mother-tongye,  that  feed  on  nought  bnt  the  cnuiihs  that  fall 
•'  from  the  translator's  trencher,  that  could  scarcely  latinize  their 
"  neck  verse,  if  they  should  have  neede.'"  Dr.  Lodge  calls  Nash 
our  true  English  Aretine:  and  John  Taylor,  the  water  poet, 
makes  an  oath  by  ''  sweete  satyriche  Nash  his  urne  :"  his  works, 
in  three  volumes  quarto,  were  printed  1600,  and  purchased  for 
the  Royal  Library,  at  an  auction  in  Whitehall,  about  the  year 
1T8.5,  for  thirlv  pound*. 

[In  the  sale  of  Dr.  Wright's  Library  in  1787,  a  collection  (not 
an  edilinn)  of  his  works,  consisting  of  twenty-one  pieces  of  vari- 
ous dates,  was  sold  for  £Vi.  .l.i :  see  Dibdin's  Bibliomania,  p.  534  ; 
but  if  it  w.as  bouL'ht  for  the  King's  Library  there  must  be  some 
error  in  the  Sale  Catalogue  in  attributing  all  the  TracU  to  Nash, 
as  there  are  but  ten  under  his  name  in  the  Catalogue  of  the 
Royal  Library. 

As  Dr.  Nash  has  here  indulged  a  natural  vanity  upon  a  sub 
ject  more  interesting  to  himself  than  to  the  reader  of  Hudibras, 
a  somewhat  similar  indulgence,  in  this  edition,  may  perhaps  be 
pardoned  when  the  incidental  menlion  of  the  Royal  I/ilirary  oc- 
casions it.  This  truly  regal  library  is  now  deposited  in  the  Brit 
ish  Museum.  It  was,  ab  initio,  formed  under  the  personal  direc 
tion  of  His  late  Majesty  George  the  Third,  by  Sir  Frederick  Bar- 
nard, his  librarian,  and  Mr.  George  Nicol,  his  bookseller;  and 
remains  an  honorable  proof  of  the  king's  liberal  pursuit  and  love 
f)f  knowledge,  and  of  the  skilful  industry  of  the  men  he  so  ju- 
diciously employed  in  its  collection.] 

ih«  ffovernment  by  Cromwell.  The  younger  brother  comm^imJed  a  troop  o 
horae  in  the  parliameiu  service,  was  member  of  parliamenl  for  the  Cliy  of 
Worcester,  ami  an  aciive  jnsi ice -■.' pence  uii.ler  the  Froiecior  :  the  family  quar- 
rel on  poliucal  accounts,  anO  which  was  carried  on  wiih  the  grealesl  nnimosKy, 
and  most  earnest  desire  to  ruin  each  other,  together  with  the  decline  of  the 
kiiiff's  aflairs,  and  pariiciilarlv  the  execution  of  his  peiton.so  oflected  the  spir- 
its of  Mr.  Thomas  Nasli,  that' he  determined  not  loii»  toeurvive  ii.  The  editor 
hopes  the  reader  will  excuse  this  periautolo^'y  and  accoiinl  of  his  »reat-gTaijd- 
f«:her,  and  his  two  younger  brothers— he  at  this  day  feels  the  cff;  -M  of  tlMO 
bouly  quarrels  and  party  zeal. 


Canto  hi.,  IIUDIBRAS.  303 

Wliich  once  atchiev'd,  ho  spiirr'd  his  palfry, 

To  get  from  th'  enemy  and  Ralpli  free  ; 

Left  danger,  fears,  and  foes  behind, 

And  beat,  at  least  three  lengtlis,  the  wind  •  1190 


volucrcmqne  fiiga  pra;vertilur  Eurum. 

agente  nimboo 

Ocyor  Euro. 

aa 


AN  HEROICAL  EPISTLE 

OF 

HUDIBRAS  TO  SIDROPHEL* 

Kcce  itcrum  Crispinus. 

Well,  Sidrophel,  tho'  'tis  in  vain  \ 

To  tamper  witii  your  crazy  brain,  j 

Without  trepanning  of  your  skull,t 

As  often  as  the  moon's  at  full, 

'Tis  not  amiss,  ere  ye  're  giv'n  o'er,  9 

To  try  one  desp'rate  med"cine  more  ; 

For  where  your  case  can  be  no  worse, 

The  desp'rat'st  is  the  wisest  course. 

Is't  possible  that  yon,  whose  ears 

Are  of  the  tribe  of  Issachar's,t  10 


•■  This  Epistle  was  not  published  till  many  years  after  the 
preceding  canto,  and  has  no  relation  to  the  character  there  de- 
Bcrilied.  Sidro|^hel,  in  the  poem,  is  a  kn;ivish  Ibrtiine-leller, 
whose  ijrnorance  is  compensated  by  a  large  share  of  cunning.  In 
the  Epistle  ho  is  ignonnl  indeed,  but  the  defect  is  made  up  by 
conceitedness,  assurance,  and  a  solemn  exterior.  It  should  seem 
that  Mr.  Butler  ha<l  received  an  affront  or  injury  from  some  per 
son  of  moderate  abilities,  who  had  obtained,  notwithstanding,  a 
respectable  situatiim.  and  stood  hiuh  in  the  opinion  (d' the  world  • 
and  that  he  addressed  the  offending  party  by  the  title  of  Sidro- 
phel, because  he  had  already  applied  this  name  to  a  vain  pre- 
tender to  science,  and  had  already  made  it  contemptible.  The 
style  is  serious,  the  remarks  are  pointed  and  severe;  and  he 
author  does  not  hold  up  the  character  here  in  his  usual  way,  as 
an  object  of  ridicule,  but  gravely  upbraids  the  man  as  a  credu- 
lous assuming  liar,  in  a  nuinner  that  more  resend)les  the  acrimo- 
ny of  .luvenal,  than  the  delicacy  of  Ilornce.  1  could  wish  that 
this  Epistle  had  been  consigned  to  oblivion,  or  else  published 
in  some  other  part  of  his  works.  But  it  has  appeared  so  long 
in  this  place,  that  I  have  not  thought  myself  at  liberty  to  re- 
ject it. 

t  A  chirurgical  operation  to  remove  part  of  the  skull,  when  it 
presses  upon  the  brain.  It  is  said  to  have  restored  the  undcr- 
Btanding,  and  was  proposed  as  a  remedy  for  the  disorder  with 
which  Dean  Swift  was  afflicted. 

t  Alluding  to  Genesis  xlix.  H  :  "  Issachar  is  a  strong  ass." 


IIUDIBUAS  TO  iSlDROPIILL.  30fi 

And  miglit,  with  equal  reason,  euher 

For  mfrit,  or  extent  of  leatlier. 

With  William  I'ryn's,  before  tliey  were 

Retrench'il,  and  crncify'd,  compare, 

Shon'd  yet  bo  deaf  against  a  noise  13 

So  roarinff  as  tl  le  public  voice  ? 

That  speaks  your  virtues  free  and  loud, 

And  openly  in  ev'ry  crowd. 

As  loud  as  QUO  tliat  shigs  his  part 

'1"  a  wheel-barro-.v,  or  turnip-cart,  20 

Or  your  new  nick-nam'd  old  invention 

To  cry  grcen-liastings  with  an  engine  ;* 

As  if  the  vehemence  had  stunn'd. 

And  torn  your  drum-heads  w'llh  the  sound  ;+ 

And  'cause  your  folly's  now  no  news,  25 

Put  overgrown,  and  out  of  use. 

Persuade  yourself  there's  no  such  matter,t 

But  that  'tis  vanish'd  out  of  nature  ; 

Wiien  folly,  as  it  grows  in  years, 

The  more  extravagant  ai)pears  ;  30 

For  who  but  you  could  be  possest 

With  so  much  ignorance  and  beast, 

That  neither  all  men's  scorn  and  hate, 

Nor  being  laugli'd  and  pointed  at, 

Nor  bray'd  so  often  in  a  mortar, §  35 

*  Green-lia?tini;s  was  a  well-knnwn  npplc  formerly,  though 
not  mentioned  in  Pliilips's  Cider;  winter-liastinf;s  is  a  well- 
known  peai^  Dust  nien  and  news-carriers  in  London  sound  a 
trniiipel  or  rins  a  holl,  to  avoid  a  ronlinual  exertion  of  the  voice. 
May  not  this  passage  point  at  the  improvement  of  the  speaking- 
trumpet  newly  invented  hy  Sir  Sanuiel  Rlorland  7 

[Hastings,  from  liasty.  Teas  that  come  early.  See  Todd's 
Johnson,  where  this  passage  is  quoted.  The  London  crier  uses 
It  only  for  peas.] 

t  Drumheads,  that  is,  the  drum  of  your  ears. 

i  i.  e.  is  it  possilde  that  you  should  persuade  yourself. 

\  Brny'd,  from  the  Saxon  won!  hjiacan,  to  pound  or  prind. 
"ThoU][;h  thou  shouldest  bray  a  fool  in  a  mortar  among  wheat 
"with  a  pestle,  yet  will  not  his  Ibolishness  depart  from  him." 
Prov.  xxvii.  22.  Anaxarchiis  was  pounded  in  a  mortar  by  order 
of  Nicocrcon,  tyrant  of  Cyprus: 

Aut  lit  Anaxarchtis  pillSl  minnaris  in  alti 
Jactaquc  pro  solitis  fiugibus  ossa  sonent. 

Ovid,  in  Ibin.  STL 

Some  of  the  primitive  martyrs  were  ground  in  mills  ;  as  Victoi 
of  Marseilles,  under  Maximian.  "Martyrem  toto  n)ox  corpnro 
•rotatu  tclcri  conterendum  pistoria;  moli  supponunt:  Tuiicelec- 
"  turn  Dei  Irnmentuni  sine  ndseratione  conleriuir."  Passio  Vic- 
loris  Massiliensis,  apud  Colomesii  opera,  p.  72!).  St.  Ignatius, 
perhaps,  alludes  to  this  species  of  punishment  in  liis  Epistles  to 
the  Romans,  ch.  iv. :  a7i6s  ciixi  Ocou  xai  &!  diivTav  Sti^lotv  i>(5- 


i06  IIUDIBRAS  rO  SIDROPHEL. 

Can  teach  you  wholesome  sense  and  nurture, 

But,  Ifke  a  reprobate,  what  course 

Soever  us'd,  grow  worse  and  worse  ? 

Can  no  transfusion  of  the  blood, 

Tliat  makes  fools  cattle,  do  you  good?*  40 

Nor  putting  pigs  to  a  bitch  to  nuree, 

To  turn  them  iuto  mongrel  curs  :t 

Put  you  into  a  way,  at  least, 

To  make  yourself  a  better  beast? 

Can  all  your  critical  intrigues,  45 

Of  trying  sound  from  rotten  eggs  ;t 

Your  sev'ral  new-found  remedies, 

Of  curing  wounds  and  scabs  in  trees  ; 

Your  arts  of  fluxing  them  for  claps. 

And  purging  their  infected  saps  •  50 


3ojiai,  ii'rt  KnOupo;  apro;  cvpidia  tov  Xptarov.  Again,  i\r,anol 
iXov  TOV  (!Ui)iaToi.  ibid.  And  I  have  little  doubt  but  the  words 
A-pTafidiv  aXriauoi,  in  Eunapius's  Life  of  Max'iiius,  p.  83,  Genev. 
ed.,  which  have  {.'iveii  the  critics  so  much  trouble,  relate  to  a 
similar  act  of  cruelty. 

.Viirture  here  means  breedine,  or  good  manners.  Thus  Chau 
cer  in  his  Reves  Tale,  line  39G5  : 

What  for  hire  kinrede,  and  hire  nortelrie, 
That  slie  had  lerned  in  the  nonnerie. 

*  In  the  last  century  several  persons  thousht  it  worth  their 
while  to  transfuse  the  Ijlood  of  one  living  creature  into  the  veins 
of  another;  and,  if  we  may  believe  their  account,  the  operation 
had  good  efiects.  It  has  oven  been  performed  on  human  sub- 
jects. Dr.  Mackenzie  has  described  the  process  in  his  History 
of  Health,  p.  431.  He  seems  to  think  that  the  transfusion  of 
blood  had  not  a  fair  trial,  and  that  the  expeririicnts  might  have 
been  pushed  farther.  Dr.  Lower  and  others  countenanced  this 
practice.  Sir  Edmund  King,  a  favorite  of  Charles  H.,  was  among 
the  philosophers  of  his  time,  who  made  the  famous  experiment 
of  transfusing  the  blood  of  one  animal  into  another.  See  Phil. 
Trans,  abr.iii.  224,  and  the  additions  and  corrections  to  Pennant's 
London.  His  picture  is  in  the  College  of  Physicians.  Shadwcll 
ridicules  this  practice  in  his  Virtuoso,  wliere  Sir  Nicholas  Gim- 
crack  relates  some  experiments  of  this  transfusion  and  their  ef- 
fects. The  lines  from  v.  39  to  59,  allude  to  various  projects  of 
the  first  establishers  of  the  Royal  Society.  See  Birch's  history 
of  that  body,  vol.  i.  3U3 ;  vol.  ii.  48.  .50,  54,  115,  117,  123,  125.  IGl, 
312.  See  also  Ward's  Gresham  Professors,  pp.  101,  273.  TUt 
makes  fools  cattle,  i.  e.  more  valuable  at  least  than  they  wrre 
before;  or  perhaps  makes  them  greater  fools  than  they  were 
before. 

t  As  a  note  on  these  lines,  a  curious  story  from  Gira'.dus  Cam- 
brensis,  of  a  sow  that  was  suckled  by  a  bitch,  and  acquired  the 
sagacity  of  a  hound  or  spaniel.  See  Butler's  Remains,  vol 
I.  p.  12. 

X  On  tlie  first  establishment  of  the  Royal  Society,  some  of  the 
ineinbers  engaged  in  the  investigation  of  these  and  similar  sub 
lOCU.    The  society  was  incorporated  July  15,  1002 


IILDIBRAS  TO  SIDROPIIEL,  301 

Recovering  sliankere,  crystallines, 

And  nodes  and  blotches  in  their  reins, 

Have  no  cllrct  to  o[)erat.e 

Upon  llial  duller  hloek,  j-our  pato  ? 

Bnt  still  it  must  ho  lewdly  bent  M 

To  tempt  your  own  due  punishment ; 

And,  liko  your  whimsy'd  chariots,*  draw 

The  boys  to  course  you  without  law  ;t 

As  it'  the  art  you  have  so  lon^ 

Profess'd,  of  makiu;^  old  dogs  young, t  • 

In  you  had  virtue  to  renew 

Not  only  youth,  but  childhood  too: 

Can  you,  that  understand  all  books, 

By  judging  only  with  your  looks, 

Resolve  all  problems  with  your  face,  63 

As  others  do  with  B's  and  A's  ; 

Unriddle  all  that  mankind  knows 

With  solid  bending  of  your  brows? 

All  arts  and  sciences  advance. 

With  screwing  of  your  countenance,  70 

And  with  a  penetrating  eye, 

Into  th'  ab.slrusest  learning  pry  ; 

KnoiV  more  of  any  trade  b'  a  hint, 

Tlian  thoise  that  have  been  bred  up  in't,§ 

And  yet  have  no  art,  true  or  false,  73 

To  help  your  own  bad  naturals  ? 

But  still  the  more  you  strive  t'  appear. 

Are  found  to  be  the  wretchcder  : 

For  fools  arc  known  by  looking  wise, 

*  I  know  not  the  «clieiiie  proposnil  hy  the  society,  pcrlirips  the 
chnriot  to  go  with  leg-'  instead  iil'  wheels,  as  mentioned  before  ; 
nr  perhaps  they  niiglit  hope  to  introduce  the  fiinioiis  chariot  of 
Stcvinus,  which  was  moved  liy  sails,  and  carried  twenty-eigh 
passengers,  among  -.vhom  were  prince  Maurice,  Bnzanval,  and 
(irotius,  over  the  sind<  of  Scheveling,  fourteen  Dutch  miles,  in 
two  hours,  as  Grotius  himself  alfirms. 

t  That  is,  to  follow  yon  close  at  the  heels:  to  give  law 
among  sportsmen  is  to  let  the  creature  that  is  to  be  hunted  run 
IV  considerable  way  before  the  dogs  are  suffered  to  jjursue.— See 
Remains. 

1  See  IJutler's  Genuine  Rem-iins,  vol.  ii.  188.  His  want  of 
judznient  inclines  him  naturally  to  the  most  extravagant  under- 
tikings,  like  that  of  "making  old  dogs  young;  stopping  up  of 
words  in  bottles,"  &c. 

$  Printing  was  invented  liy  a  soldier,  gunpowder  by  a  monk, 
nnd  several  brinrhes  of  the  clothing  trade  by  a  bishop  :  this  is 
»aid  agreeably  to  the  vulgar  notion  concerning  Bishop  Blaze,  the 
patron  saint  of  the  wool-comberi.  But  he  obtained  that  honor 
not  on  account  of  any  improvements  he  made  in  the  trade,  ba 
because  he  sulFered  martyrdom  by  having  his  flesh  torn  by  card 
i«g  irons.    See  the  iMartyrology  fur  the  third  of  Februarv. 


308  IIL'DIBRAS  TO  .'L'IDROl'HEL. 

As  men  find  woodcocks  by  tlieir  eyos.  81 

Hence  'tis  becauso  ye  've  gained  o'  tli'  ccUege' 

A  quarter  share,  at  most,  of  knowledge, 

And  bronglit  in  none,  but  spent  repute, 

Y'  assume  a  |)ow'r  as  absolute 

To  judge,  and  censure,  and  control!,  M 

As  if  you  were  ti:e  sole  sir  Poll, 

And  saucily  pretend  to  know 

More  than  your  dividend  comes  to  : 

You'll  find  the  thing  will  not  be  done 

With  ignorance  and  face  alone  ;  90 

No,  tho'  ye  've  purchas'd  to  your  name, 

In  history,  so  great  a  fame  ;t 

That  now  your  talent's  so  well-known, 

For  having  all  belief  out-grown. 

That  ev'ry  strange  prodigious  tale  95 

Is  mcasur'd  by  your  German  scale, t 

By  which  the  virtuosi  try 

The  magnitude  of  ev'ry  lie. 

Cast  up  to  what  it  does  amount, 


*  Though  the  Royal  Sociely  removed  frnni  Gresliam  CoUcffe 
nn  account  of  the  tire  of  Loiidon,  it  returned  (here  again,  1074, 
teinf!  the  year  in  which  this  Epistle  was  piildislied. 

t  I  am  inclined  to  ihink  that  the  character  of  Sidrophel.  in  this 
Epistle,  was  desi<.'ned  rather  for  Sir  Paul  Neile  than  lor  Lilly,  or 
perhaps  has  some  strokes  at  both  of  them,  notwithstanding  Dr. 
Grey's  thinking  that  "these  two  lines  plainly  discover  that  Lilly 
"  (and  not  Sir  Haul  Neal)  was  lashed  under  the  name  of  Sidro- 
"phel;  for  Lilly's  fame  ahroad  was  indispufilile."  The  poet 
seems  to  allude  to  Sir  Paul  in  the  eijihiy-sixlh  line,  as  he  had 
before  done  to  Sir  Samuel  Luke.  Sir  Paul  had  olVendcd  Mr.  But- 
ler by  saying  that  he  was  not  the  author  of  Hudiliras;  or  per- 
haps Sir  Poll  here  mijiht  allude  to  Sir  Politick  VVould-lie  in  Ben 
Jonson's  Volpone.  In  history,  some  historians  as  well  as  trav- 
ellers have  liocn  famous  lor  telling  wonderful  lies  or  stories;  or, 
perhaps,  a  glance  might  be  here  intended  at  Sprat's  History  of 
the  Royal  Society.  Mr.  Tliyer,  in  Butler's  Kemains,  says  "  he 
"can  assure  the  reader,  upon  the  |)oet's  own  authority,  that  the 
''character  of  Sidrophel  was  intended  for  a  picture  of  Sir  Paul 
"  Neile,  who  was  son  of  Richard  Xeile,  (whose  father  was  a 
"chandler  in  Weslminsler,)  who,  as  Anthony  Wooil  says,  went 
"  through  all  degrees  and  orders  in  the  church,  schoolmaster,  cu- 
"rate,  vicar.  &c.  &c.  and  at  last  was  archbishop  of  York."  Sir 
Paul  was  one  of  the  first  establishers  of  the  Royal  Society: 
which  society,  in  the  tiawn  of  science,  listening  to  many  things 
that  appeared  trifling  and  incredible  to  the  generality  of  the  peo 
pie,  Iwcanie  the  butt  and  sport  of  the  wits  of  the  times.  Browne 
Willis,  in  liis  Survey  of  York  Cathedral,  says,  that  archbish.ip 
Neile  left  his  son  Sir  Paul  Neile  e.\eculor,  whf)m,  though  he  lei) 
rich,  (as  he  did  his  wife  30:i/.  a  year  for  her  life.)  yet  he  soon  run 
it  out.  without  afliirding  liis  father  a  gravestone. 

i  All  incretlible  stories  are  now  measureil  by  your  standard. 
One  German  mile  is  equal  to  four  miles  English  cr  Italian. 


IIUDIBUAS  TO  SIDROPIIEL.  308 

Aiul  place  the  bigg'st  to  your  account ;  100 

That  all  those  storios  that  are  laid 

Too  truly  to  yoii,  and  those  made. 

Are  now  still  charg'd  upon  your  score, 

And  lesser  authors  uani'd  no  more. 

Alas!  that  faculty  betrays  105 

Those  soonest  it  designs  to  raise  ; 

And  all  your  vain  renown  will  spoil, 

As  guns  o'ercharg'd  the  more  recoil ; 

Though  he  that  lias  hut  impudence, 

To  all  things  has;  a  fair  pretence  ;  110 

And  put  among  his  wants  but  shame, 

To  all  the  world  may  lay  his  claim  : 

Tho'  you  have  tried  that  nothing's  borne 

With  greater  case  than  public  scorn, 

That  all  affronts  do  still  give  place  115 

To  your  impenetrable  face  ; 

That  n)akcs  your  way  thro'  all  afiUirs, 

As  pigs  thro'  hedges  creep  with  theirs  ; 

Yet  as  'tis  counterfeit  and  brass, 

You  must  not  think  'twill  always  pass ;  120 

For  all  impostors,  when  they're  known, 

Are  past  their  labour,  and  undone : 

And  all  the  best  that  can  befal 

An  artificial  natural, 

Is  that  which  madmen  find,  as  soon  123 

As  once  they've  broke  loose  from  the  moon, 

And  proof  against  her  influence, 

Relapse  to  e'er  so  little  sense, 

To  turn  stark  fools,  and  subjects  fit 

for  SDort  of  boys,  and  ti  bble-wit  13C 


PART  III.     CANTO  I. 

THE   ARGUMENT. 

Thu  Knight  and  Squire  resolve  at  once, 
The  one  the  other  to  renounce  ; 
They  both  approach  the  Lady's  bower, 
The' Squire  t'  inform,  the  Knight  to  woo  her 
She  treats  them  with  a  masquerade, 
By  furies  and  hob^obhns  made ; 
From  which  tiie  Squire  conveys  the  Kuight} 
Aiid  bttsals  him  from  himself  by  iiiglit. 


HUDIBRAS. 


PART  III.    CANTO  I 

'TiH  true,  no  lover  lias  that  pow'r 

T'  enCorce  a  desperate  amour, 

As  lie  that  has  two  strings  to"s  bow, 

And  burns  for  love  and  money  too ; 

For  tiiea  he's  brave  and  resolute,  5 

Disdains  to  render  in  his  suit  ;* 

Has  all  his  flames  and  raptures  double, 

And  hangs  or  drowns  with  half  the  troubh' : 

While  those  who  sillily  pursue 

The  sim])le  downright  way,  and  true,  10 

Make  as  unlucky  applications, 

And  steer  against  the  stream  their  passions. 

Some  forge  their  mistresses  of  stars, 

And  when  the  ladies  prove  averse, 

And  more  untoward  to  be  won  IS 

Than  by  Caligula  the  moon,t 

Cry  out  upon  the  stars  for  doing 

111  offices,  to  cross  their  wooing, 

When  only  by  themselves  they've  hindred, 

For  trusting  those  they  made  her  kindred,!  20 

And  still  the  harsher  and  hide-bounder, 

The  damsels  prove,  become  the  fonder  ; 


*  That  is  surremler,  or  give  up  :  from  the  French. 

t  This  was  one  of  the  extravagant  follies  ol'Calisnla:  "  Caius 
boclihus  quideiii  picnaiii  fiilgenteriKiiie  lunaiii  invilaliat  assiilui 
in  ainplexus,  alque  concubiiiun."  Suetonius,  in  vila  C.  Calig 
lect.  iii 

1  The  meaning  U,  that  when  men  have  flattered  their  mis- 
tresses extravagantly,  an«i  declared  them  to  l)e  possessed  of  ac- 
complishments incire  than  human  ;  they  must  not  be  surprised 
it  they  are  treated  in  return  with  that  distant  reserve  which  be- 
ings of  a  superior  order  may  rightly  exercise  toward  inforlor  de- 
pendent creatures  :  nor  have  lliey  room  lor  complaint,  since  the 
iQJory  which  they  sustain  is  an  effect  of  tlieir  own  indiscretion. 


S12  ilUDIBRAS.  [Part  in 

For  what  mad  lover  ever  dj''d 
To  gain  a  soft  and  gentle  bride  ? 
Or  for  a  lady  tender-hearted,  23 

In  purling  streams  or  hemp  departed? 
Leap'd  headlong  inl'  Elysium, 
Thro'  th'  windows  of  a  dazzling  room  ?* 
But  for  some  cross  ill-natur'd  dame, 
The  am'rous  fly  burnt  in  his  flame.  30 

This  to  the  Kniglit  could  be  no  news, 
With  all  mankind  so  mucii  in  use  ; 
Who  therefore  took  the  wiser  coui-sc, 
To  make  the  most  of  his  ainours, 
Resolv'd  to  try  all  sorts  of  ways,  35 

As  follows  in  due  time  and  place. 
No  sooner  was  the  bloody  fight 
Between  the  wizard  and  the  knight, 
With  all  th'  appurtenances  over, 
But  he  relaps'd  again  t'  a  lover ;  40 

As  he  was  always  wont  to  do, 
When  he  'ad  discomfited  a  foe. 
And  us'd  the  only  antique  philters, 
Deriv'd  from  old  heroic  tilters.t 

But  now  triuni])hant  and  victorious,  45 

He  held  th'  atchie\ement  was  too  glorious 
For  such  a  conqueror  to  meddle 
With  petty  constable  or  beadle  ; 
Or  fly  for  refuge  to  the  hostess 

Of  th'  inns  of  court  and  chauc'ry,  justice  ;  50 

Who  might,  perhaps,  reduce  his  cause 
To  th'  ordeal  trial  of  the  laws  :t 


*  Drowned  themselves.  Ohjccts  reflected  by  water  appear 
nearly  the  same  as  when  they  are  viewed  lhiou|ih  a  window, 
or  through  the  windows  of  a  room  so  hiph  from  the  s;round  that 
it  dazzles  one  to  look  down  from  it.  Thus  Juvenal,  Sat.  vl.  v. 
31.  Alta;  caliganlesaue  fenestra;:  which  Uolyday  translates, 
dazzling  high  windows.  'H\uTti(p'  ix^tiyuv  rttxcoi  cii'Atitjv, 
Calliniachus,  Ep.  29,  where  'aUtjv  dues  nui  mean  hell,  hut  the 
place  of  departed  souls,  comprehending  both  Elysium  and  Tar 
tarus. 

t  The  heroes  of  romance  endeavored  to  conciliate  the  aflec- 
.'ions  of  their  mistresses  by  the  l;iiiie  of  their  illustrious  exploits 
So  was  Desdenmna  won.    Shaksjicarc's  Othello,  Act  i. 
"She  loved  ine  for  the  dangers  1  had  past.  ' 

t  Ordeal  comes  from  the  Anglo-Saxon  opbal,  which  is  aho 
deriveil  from  the  Teutonic,  and  siL'nifies  judgment.  The  meth- 
ods of  trial  by  fire,  water,  or  combat,  were  in  use  till  the  time  of 
Henry  111., and  the  rightofexertising  them  wasannexed  to  seve- 
ral lordships  or  manors.  At  this  day,  when  a  culprit  is  arraigned 
nt  the  bar,  and  as-^ed  how  he  will  be  tried,  he  is  directed  to  an- 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  JIS 

Where  none  escape,  but  sucli  as  branded, 

Willi  rcd-liot  irons,  liave  past  baic-lianded  ; 

And  if  tiicy  cannot  read  one  verse  53 

r  tir  psalms,  nuiist  sing  it,  and  liiat's  worse.* 

lie,  tlierefore,  judging  it  below  liiin. 

To  teni|)t  a  slianio  the  dev'l  might  owe  hirri, 

Rcsolv'd  to  leave  the  Squire  for  bail 

And  mainprize  for  him,  to  the  jail,  CO 

To  answer,  with  his  vessel,  alit 

That  miglit  disastrously  befall. 

He  thought  it  now  the  fittest  juncture 

To  give  the  Lady  a  rencounter  ; 

T'  acquaint  her  with  his  expedition,  03 

.\nd  conquest  o'er  the  fierce  magician  ; 

Describe  the  manner  of  the  fray. 

And  show  the  spoils  he  brought  away  ; 

His  bloody  scourging  aggravate. 

The  number  of  the  blows  and  weight :  70 

All  which  might  probably  succeed. 

And  gain  belief  he  'ad  done  the  deed  : 

Which  he  resolv'd  t'  enforce  and  spare 

No  pawning  of  his  soul  to  swear ; 

But,  rather  than  produce  his  back,  73 

To  set  his  conscience  on  the  rack  ; 

And,  in  pursuance  of  liis  urging 

Of  articles  perform'd,  and  scourging, 

And  all  things  else,  upon  his  part. 

Demand  delivery  ol  her  heart,  80 

Her  goods  and  chattels,  and  good  graces. 

And  person,  up  to  his  embraces. 

Thought  lie,  the  ancient  errant  knights 

Won  all  their  ladies'  hearts  in  fights, 

And  cut  whole  giants  into  fitters, I  »,3 


gwcr,  "by  God  and  my  rounlry,"  |jy  Ihc  verdict  or  solemn  opin- 
ion of  a  jury.  "  liy  Gcid"  only,  would  roriiieny  have  meant  the 
ordcitl,  which  rel'crrcU  the  case  iiniiiediuicly  to  the  divine  judg- 
ment. 

♦  When  persons  claimed  the  benefit  of  clerfiy,  tliey  were  re- 
quired to  read  a  verse  in  the  Hilile,  yenernlly  in  tlie  I'salms.  It 
was  usual,  loo,  for  ihe  clcreyni^m  who  attended  an  e.\ec>ilion,  to 
pive  out  a  ,isalm  to  be  sun-;,  ro  that  liic  conunon  people  said, 
il  ilicy  could  not  read  their  neck  verse  at  sessions,  they  must 
tinf  it  at  the  uallows. 

t  In  Ibis  term  the  saints  unwillincly  concurred  w  Ih  Ihe  grave 
old  philosophers,  who  termed  the  body  OKCvoi. 

1  t^ome  editions  reml  fritters  ;  but  Ibe  corrected  one  of  1078 
has  Jitters,  a  phrase  often  used  by  romance  writers,  very  frequent- 
y  by  the  author  of  the  Rumant  of  Konianls.    Our  author  juiM 


314  IIUDIBRAS.  [Pavt  ibi 

To  put  tliem  into  am'rous  twitters ; 

Whose  stubborn  bowels  scorn'd  to  yield, 

Until  their  gallants  were  half  kiU'd  ; 

But  when  their  bones  were  drubb'd  so  sore. 

They  dnrsl  not  woo  one  combat  more,  91 

The  ladies'  hearts  began  to  melt, 

Subdu'd  by  blows  their  lovers  felt. 

So  Spanisli  heroes,  with  their  lauces, 

At  once  wound  bulls  and  ladies'  fancies  ;* 

And  he  acquires  the  noblest  spouse  95 

That  widows  greatest  herds  of  cows  ; 

Then  what  may  I  expect  to  do, 

Who  "ve  quelled  so  vast  a  buffalo  ? 

Meanv.'hile  the  Squire  was  on  his  way. 
The  Knight's  late  orders  to  obey  ;  ^00 

Who  sent  him  for  a  strong  detachment 
Of  beadles,  constables  and  watclirnen, 
T'  attack  the  cunning  man  for  plunder 
Committed  falsely  on  his  lumber; 
When  he,  who  had  so  lately  sack'd  105 

The  enemy,  had  done  the  fact, 
Had  rifled  all  his  pokes  and  fobs 
Of  gimcracks,  whims,  and  jiggumbobs, 
Which  he  by  hook  or  crook  had  gather'd. 
And  for  his  own  inventions  fatlier"d:  110 

And  when  they  should,  at  jail-delivery. 
Unriddle  one  another's  thievery, 
Both  might  have  evidence  enough 
To  render  neither  haller-])roof+ 

He  thought  it  desperate  to  tarry,  115 

And  venture  to  bo  accessory  ; 
But  rather  wisely  slip  his  fetters, 
And  leave  them  for  the  Kniglit,  his  betters. 
Ho  call'd  to  mind  tli'  unjust  foul  play 
He  would  have  olFer'd  him  that  day,  120 


with  Cervantes  in  liurlesquing  the  subjects  Knd  style  of  reman 
ces.    [Fitters,  snuill  fragiiieiils,  Ironi  fctta,  It;il.  felzen,  Germ. 
Tliey  look  and  see  the  stones,  the  word"!,  and  letters, 
All  cut  and  mangled,  in  a  thousand .ff»crj. 

Harrington's  Ariosto,  x.\iv.  40. 

*  The  hull-feasts  Ht  Madrid  have  been  frequently  described 
Tiie  ladies  take  a  zealous  part  at  these  r.otnbals. 

t  The  mutual  accusations  of  the  kniiiht  and  Sidrophel,  if  es- 
tablished, might  hang  both  of  them.  UnUcr-proof  Is  In  be  in  no 
langcr  friini  a  lialler,  as  musket  proof  in  no  danger  from  amus- 
«et:  to  render  ntither  halter-proof  is  to  render  both  in  danger  of 
Nteing  hanged. 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  315 

To  make  liiin  curry  liis  own  hide, 

Wliicli  110  beast  ever  did  beside, 

Witliont  all  possible  evasion. 

But  of  the  riding  dispensation  :* 

And  therefore,  much  about  the  liour  125 

The  Knijrlit,  for  reason  told  before, 

Resolv'd  to  leave  him  to  the  fury 

Of  justice,  and  an  unpack'd  jury. 

The  Squire  concurred  to  abandon  him. 

And  serve  him  in  the  self-same  trim  ;t  130 

T'  acquaint  the  Lady  what  li'  liad  done, 

And  wiiat  lie  meant  to  carry  on  ; 

What  project  't  was  ho  went  about. 

When  .Sidrophcl  and  he  fell  out ; 

His  firm  and  stedfast  resolution,  135 

To  swear  lier  to  an  execution  ;t 

To  pawn  his  inward  ears  to  marry  her,§ 

And  bribe  the  devil  himself  to  carry  her 

In  which  both  dealt,  as  if  they  meant 

Their  party  saints  to  represent,  140 

Who  never  fail'd,  upon  their  shuring 

In  any  prosperous  arms-bearing. 

To  lay  themselves  out  to  suj)[)lant 

Each  other  cousin-german  saint. 

But  ere  the  Knight  could  do  his  part,  145 

The  Squire  iiad  got  so  much  the  start. 

He  'ad  to  the  lady  done  his  errand. 

And  told  her  all  his  tricks  aforehand. 


*  Ralpho  considers  tlint  he  should  not  have  escaped  the  wliip- 
ping  inlended  for  him  by  the  kniyht,  if  tlieir  dispute  had  not 
been  interrupted  by  tlie  ridin!;-shew,  or  skiinininiiton. 

t  The  autlior  has  long  had  iin  eye  to  the  selfishness  and 
treachery  of  the  leading  parlies,  the'  Presbyterians  and  Inde- 
pendents.   A  few  lines  lielow  he  speaks  more  plainly: 

In  which  both  dealt  as  if  they  meant 
'I'heir  parly  saints  to  represent, 
\Vho  never  fail'd,  upon  Iheir  sharing 
In  any  prosperous  arnisbearinsr. 
To  lay  iheni.-elves  out  to  supplant 
Each  other  cousin-geruian  saint. 

The  render  will  remember  that  Hudibras  represents  the  Pres- 
byterians, and  Ralpho  the  Independents:  this  scene  therefoitj 
nlludcs  to  the  manner  in  which  the  latter  suiiplanlcd  Ihe  former 
in  the  civil  war. 

t  To  swear  he  had  undergone  the  stipulated  whipping,  and 
then  dciiiand  the  performance  of  her  pari  of  the  bargain. 

$  His  lionor  and  conscience,  which  might  forfeit  someof  theil 
Inununities  by  perjury,  as  the  outward  ears  do  fur  the  same  crime 
in  the  sentence  of  the  statute  law 

27 


316  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  iu 

Just  as  lie  finish'd  his  report, 
The  Knight  alighted  in  the  court,  15* 

And  having  ty'd  his  beast  t'  a  pale, 
And  taking  time  for  both  to  stale. 
He  put  his  band  and  beard  in  order, 
The  sprucer  to  accost  and  board  her  :* 
And  now  begun  t'  approach  tlie  door,  155 

When  she,  wh'  liad  spy'd  him  out  before, 
Convey"d  th'  informer  out  of  sight. 
And  went  to  entertain  the  Knigiit : 
VVith  whom  encountering,  after  lougeest 
Of  humble  and  submissive  congees,  J60 

And  all  duo  ceremonies  paid. 
He  strok'd  his  beard  and  thus  he  said  :X 

Madam,  I  do,  as  is  my  duty. 
Honour  the  shadov/  of  your  shoe-tie  ;§ 
And  now  am  come,  to  bring  your  eai  165 

A  present  you'll  be  glad  to  hear  ; 
At  least  I  hope  so  :  the  thing's  done, 
Or  may  I  never  see  the  sun  ; 
For  which  I  humbly  now  demand 
Performance  at  your  gentle  hand  ;  170 

And  that  you'd  please  to  do  your  part, 
As  I  have  done  mine  to  my  smart. 


*  Thus  Polonius  : 

Away,  I  ilo  heseech  you,  both  away; 

I'll  board  him  presently. — O,  give  me  leave. — 

How  does  my  good  lord  Muinlet  7 

t  That  is,  after  darting  himself  forward,  as  fencers  do  when 
Ihey  make  a  thrust. 

i  Nee  tainen  ante  adiit,  etsi  properabat  adire, 

Qiiam  se  coinposuit,  quam  circumspexit  amictas, 

Et  finxit  vultuiii,  et  meruit  formosa  videri ; 

Tunc  sic  or.sa  loqui.  Ovid.  Metam.  1.  iv.  1.  31?. 

Thus  Cleveland,  in  his  poem  on  ihe  Mixed  Assembly,  p.  43  ■ 

That  Isaac  miirht  go  stroke  his  beard,  and  sit 
Judge  of  tli  aiov  and  elegerit. 

In  Sir  Philip  Sidney's  Arcadia,  lib.  iii.  p.  319.  "  .\nd  now 
■" 'jein;;  come  within  compass  of  discerning  her,  lie  began  to 
"frame  the  loveliest  countenance  that  he  could  ;  stroking  up  hit 
"  legs,  setting  up  his  beard  in  due  order,  and  stundiog  bolt  up 
'right." 

5  [.Mr.  Todd  finds  this  rhyme  used  before  by  Crashaw,  in  hil 
Delights  of  the  .Muses,  puL>lished  in  1C4G  : 

I  wish  her  beauty, 
That  owes  not  all  its  duty 
To  gaudy  tire,  or  glistering  shoe-tj/.] 


Canto  i  ]  IIUDICIIAS.  317 

Willi  lliiit  he  shriigg'd  his  sturdy  back, 
As  if  ho  felt  l)is  slioulders  ako  : 

IJiit  she,  who  well  ciioiifrh  knew  what,  175 

Before  he  spoke,  ho  would  he  ai. 
Pretended  not  to  aftjjreiiend 
The  mystery  of  what  he  niean'd. 
And  therefore  wish'd  him  to  expound 
His  dark  expressions  less  profound.  180 

Madam,  quoth  he,  I  come  to  prove 
How  much  I've  sufTer'd  for  your  love, 
Which,  like  your  votary,  to  win, 
I  have  not  spar'd  my  tatter'd  skin  ;* 
And,  for  those  meritorious  lashes,  185 

To  claim  your  favour  and  good  graces. 

Quoth  she,  I  do  remember  oncet 
I  freed  you  from  th'  enchanted  sconce  ;t 
And  that  yon  promis'd,  for  that  favour. 
To  bind  your  hack  to  th'  good  behaviour,§  190 

And  for  my  sake  and  service,  vow'd 
To  lay  upon  't  a  heavy  load. 
And  what  't  would  bear  to  a  scruple  prove, 
As  other  kniglits  do  oft'  make  love. 
Which,  whether  you  have  done  or  no,  195 

Concerns  yourself,  not  me,  to  know  ; 
But  if  you  have,  I  shall  confess, 
Y'  are  lionester  than  I  could  guess. 

Quoth  lie.  If  you  suspect  my  troth, 
I  cannot  prove  it  but  by  oath  ;  200 

And,  if  you  make  a  question  on't, 
I'll  pawn  my  soul  that  I  have  don't : 
And  he  that  makes  his  soul  his  surety, 
I  think  does  give  the  best  security. 

Quoth  she,  .Some  say  the  soul's  secure  205 

Against  distress  and  forfeiture  ; 
Is  free  from  action,  and  excmjit 
I'loin  execution  and  coiitem[)t ; 
And  to  be  summon'd  to  appear 
In  th'  other  world's  illegal  here, 11  210 


*  Rnninn  C;aliolics  used  to  scourge  themselves  before  the 
/iiaue  of  a  faviirile  saint. 

t  Tlie  lady  liere  with  affected  drollery  says  oner.,  as  if  the 
event  had  happened  sniiie  time  before,  though  in  reality  it  was 
unly  ilie  pretedias:  day. 

i  Frnni  the  «tiici>s. 

^  it  should  seem  a  better  reading  would  be,  as  in  the  latel 
editions, 

To  bind  your  back  to  'ts  good  behaviour. 

y  Aliuiing  to  the  I'anious  story  cf  Peter  and  John  de  Curva 


SIS  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  w 

And  therefore  few  make  any  account, 

Int'  what  incumbrances  they  run't  : 

For  most  men  carry  tilings  so  even 

Between  this  world,  and  hell,  and  heaven,* 

Without  tlie  least  offence  to  either,  212 

They  freely  deal  in  all  to;rether, 

And  equally  abhor  to  quit 

This  world  for  both,  or  both  for  it : 

And  when  they  pawn  and  damn  their  souls, 

They  are  but  pris'ners  on  paroles  220 

For  that,  quoth  he,  'tis  rational, 
They  may  be  accountable  in  all  :t 
For  whoa  there  is  that  intercourse 
Between  divine  and  human  pow'rs. 
That  all  that  we  determine  here  225 

Commands  obedience  ev'ry  where  ;t 
When  penalti_-s  may  be  commuted^ 
For  fines,  or  ears,  and  executed, 
It  follows,  nothing  binds  sd  fast 

As  souls  in  pawn  and  mortgage  past:  23n 

For  oaths  are  the  only  te.-ts  and  scales 
Of  right  and  wrong,  and  true  and  false ; 
And  there's  no  other  way  to  Iry 
The  doubts  of  law  and  justice  by. 

Quoth  she,  What  is  it  you  would  swear?  235 

There's  no  believing  till  I  hear : 
For,  'till  they're  understood,  all  tales. 
Like  nonsense,  are  not  true  nor  false. 


j  il,  who,  beins  unjustly  condeiiinerl  for  miirdL-r,  and  taken  for 
execution,  suiiiiiioncd  itie  king,  Ferdinand  the  Fourth  of  t^pain, 
tr)  appear  before  God's  trii)un:il  in  thirij-  diiys.  The  kin;  lati>;hed 
at  the  suninions ;  but,  thou<!h  he  reinaineil  apparently  in  good 
hsakh  on  the  d  ly  before,  he  died  on  the  thirlieth  day.  Mariana 
says,  there  can  be  no  doubt  of  the  truth  of  this  slorv. 

*  That  is,  between  this  world  and  the  next,  or  a  future  state. 
Men  have  dealings  without  any  scruple  in  both  at  the  same 
time  ;  that  is,  they  are  not  so  completely  good  as  not  to  have 
some  concern  for  this,  nor  yet  so  completely  wicked  as  not  to 
have  sinie  for  the  ne.xt ;  tht  y  have  an  equal  abhorrence  at  the 
th'.Uilils  of  qiiitlin;;  this  world  for  the  next,  nt  forsaking  their 
maaiicr  of  living  on  account  of  iheir  belief  of  a  fu'.ure  slate: 
or  (juilting  the  next  world  lor  this,  that  is.  of  forsaking  their  be- 
lief of  a  future  stale  on  account  of  their  enj  )yuients  of  this 
w.rld. 

t  That  is,  as  to  that,  it  standi  to  rrasan  that  men  may  be  ac- 
connlable  in  this  world,  anil  in  I'.ic  next. 

t  lie  seems  at  no  los  for  an  ap|ilcaiiiin  of  ,a  text  in  Scripture, 
"Whatstever  ye  shall  bir.d  on  e>rih,  shall  be  lioi:n(!  in  heaven."' 

ij  The  knight  r.rgues  thai,  since  tcnipriral  |  iiaishnients  maybe 
HJltigated  and  commuted,  the  bs<t  securiliis  lor  truth  and  huncs- 
y  are  those  e-^i-ectations  whiuh  atfcct  ni.m  in  his  spiritual  sUita 


Tanto^,]  IIUDIBRAS.  31<j 

Qiioth  he,  When  I  rcsolv'd  t'  obey 
What  you  comiiiaiided  tli'  other  day,  240 

And  to  perform  my  exercise, 
As  schools  are  wont,  for  your  fair  eyes ; 
T'  avoid  all  scruples  la  the  case, 
I  went  to  do't  upon  the  place  ; 

But  as  thf^  castle  is  enchanted  S<5 

hy  .Sidropliel  the  witch,  and  haunted 
With  evil  spirits,  as  you  know. 
Who  took  my  Squire  and  me  for  two,* 
Before  I'd  hardly  time  to  lay 

My  weapons  by,  and  disarray,  250 

I  heard  a  formidable  noise, 
Loud  as  the  Slenlrophouic  voice, t 
That  roar'd  far  off,  Dispatch  and  strip, 
I'm  ready  with  th'  infernal  whip, 
That  sliall  divest  thy  ribs  of  skin  251 

To  expiate  th)^  ling'rinn;  sin  ; 
Thou  'asl  broke  perfidiously  thy  oath, 
And  not  perfonn'd  thy  pliirhfed  troth, 
But  spar'd  thy  renegado  back. 

Where  thou  hadst  so  great  a  prize  at  stako,'»  269 

Which  now  the  fates  have  order'd  me 
For  penance  and  revenge,  to  flea, 
Unlei-s  thou  presently  make  haste  ; 
Time  is,  time  was ;  and  there  it  ceast.§ 
With  which,  tho'  slartl'd,  I  confess,  265 

Yet  th'  horror  of  the  thing  was  less 
Than  the  other  dismal  apprehension 
Of  interruption  or  prevention  ; 
And  therefore,  snatching  up  the  rod, 
1  laid  upon  my  back  a  load,  270 

Resolv'd  to  spare  no  flesh  and  blood, 
To  make  my  word  and  honour  good  ; 
Till  tir'd,  and  taking  truce  at  length, 
For  new  recruits  of  breath  and  strength, 

•  For  two  evil  and  delinquent  spirits. 
t  Tims  Horner,  Iliad,  v.  785: 

^Ttt'Topi  daayihrt  /jteyaXiiTcpi  XQ'^ffo^uvij). 
And  Ji!V.  Rat.  xiii.  112: 

Til  miser  exclamas,  lit  Stcntora  vinccre  possis. 
The  spcjikins  Iruinpet  was  n.  little  befiire  the  publication  of  thl 
canto  niiicli  unproved  liy  Sir  Samuel  Morland,  one  of  the  first  cs- 
fciblishers  of  the  lUiyitl  Society. 

t  The  later  cililions,  perhaps  with  more  propriety,  read,  itht% 
ikou  'n,i.-t.     I'-ut  w.'Lere  in  old  authors  meins  xvliereas. 
i  This  alludes  to  the  well-known  story  of  the  brazen  head. 


320  HUDIBRA?.  [Part  m 

I  felt  the  blows  slill  ply'd  as  fast,  275 

As  if  they  'ad  been  by  lovers  plac'd, 

111  raptures  of  Platonic  laxliing, 

And  cliaste  contemplative  bardashlug:* 

When  facing  hastily  about, 

To  stand  upon  my  guard  and  scout, t  i!8C 

I  found  til'  infernal  cunuinj;  man, 

And  ih'  under-witcl),  his  Calibun.t 

With  scourges,  like  the  furies,  arni'd, 

That  on  my  outward  quarters  storm'd. 

In  haste  I  snatch'd  my  weapon  up,  285 

And  gave  their  hellish  rage  a  stop  ; 

Call'd  thrice  upon  your  naine,§  and  fell 

Courageously  on  Sidrophel, 

Who  now  trausibrm'd  himself  t'  a  bear,|| 

Began  to  roar  aloud,  and  tear ;  29j 

\Vhen  I  as  furiously  press'd  on, 

My  weapon  down  his  throat  to  run, 

Laid  hold  on  him  ;  but  he  broke  loose, 

And  turn'd  himself  into  a  goose, 

Div'd  under  water,  in  a  pond,  295 

To  hide  himself  from  being  found  ; 

In  vain  I  sought  him  ;  but  as  soon 

As  I  perceived  him  fled  and  gone, 

Prepar'd,  with  equal  haste  and  rage 

His  under-sorc'rer  to  engage  ;  300 

But  bravely  scorning  to  defile 

My  swoid  with  feeble  blood,  and  vile, 

I  judg'd  it  better  from  a  qiiiek- 

Set-hedge  to  cut  a  knotted  stick. 

With  which  I  furiously  laid  on ;  300 


*  The  epithets  chaste  and  contemplative  are  used  ironically. 
Bee  Genuine  Keinriins,  vol.  i.  (iO,  and  vol.  ii.  3.V2.  Dr.  Biiluer,  in 
his  Artificial  Clian<;elin';,  p.  2Gil,  says,  "The  Turks  call  those  that 
••are  young,  ami  have  no  heards.  biirdasses." 

t  Sir  Saimiel  l,id<e  was  fcmit-iuaster. 

t  See  Shakspe.ire's  Tempest. 

$  Banleiin-;  the  romance  wriicrs,  whose  heroes  frequently  ii- 
Voke  their  mistresses  : 

numero  deus  impare  gaudet 

Yirg.  eclog.  vili. 
il  Thus  Ovid.  Metam.  lib.  viii.  T;i2  : 

Nam  modo  te  juvcnem,  modo  te  vidfirn  lennein  : 
IS'iinc  viiilentus  aper,  nunc,  quern  tetifiisse  timerent, 
Annuls  enis  :  modo  te  lacielxint  cornna  tiiurum, 
Sa;pe  lapis  poteras,  arli'jr  (|Uci(|ue  sa-pe  videri. 
When  I  as  furiously. — Some  editions  read,  perliaps  better: 
When  as  I  furiously— 


LAWTo  I.]  IILDIBRAS.  321 

Till,  in  a  liarsli  and  doleful  lone, 

It  roar'd,  O  hold,  for  pily,  Sir, 

I  am  too  {jreat  a  sufreier,* 

Abiis'd  as  you  iiave  been  b'  a  witch, 

But  coujur'd  int'  a  worse  cu|)rich,t  310 

\Vjio  sends  ine  out  on  man)'  a  jaunt, 

Old  houses  in  the  nii,'lit  to  haunt. 

For  opportunities  t'  improve 

Desiirns  of  thievery  or  love  ; 

With  drugs  convey'd  in  drink  or  meat,  313 

All  feats  of  witches  counterfeit ; 

Kill  pigs  and  geese  with  powdcr'd  glass, 

And  make  it  for  enchantment  pass  ; 

With  cow-itcht  meazle  like  a  leper, 

And  choke  with  fumes  of  guinea  pepper  ;  320 

Make  lechers,  and  their  punks,  with  dewtry, 

('onnnit  fuutastical  advovvtry  ;§ 

*  0,  for  pity,  is  a  favorite  expression  of  Spenser.  Polyd  jre,  in 
Virgil,  ^n.  iii.  41,  says : 

Quid  miseruin,  ^nea,  laceras'?  jam  parce  sepulto: 
I'arce  pias  scelerare  iiianiis. 

t  That  is,  uliiiii,  fiiiry,  from  Ibe  Italian,  capriccio. 

%  Cowage  is  a  plant  IVdiii  llie  East  Indies,  the  pod  of  which  is 
covered  with  sliort  hairs :  if  thdse  hairs  are  applied  to  the  skin, 
they  cause  an  itching  for  a  short  lime;  lliey  are  often  used  by 
young  people  to  tease  one  another  with. 

$  Dcirtrij,  or  datura,  is  a  plant,  growing  chiefly  in  the  East 
Indies,  whose  seeds  and  flowers  have  an  intoxicating  quality. 
They  who  are  skilled  in  the  nianageinent  of  this  drug,  can,  it  is 
said,  proportion  the  dose  of  it  so  as  to  suppress  the  senses  for  any 
particular  number  of  hours.  The  Aliyssinians  likewise  have  an 
herb,  i;alled  by  the  Calfres,  l)anquini,  and  by  the  Portuguese,  du 
tra,  which,  if  taken  in  meat  or  drink,  produces  a  stupor,  an<l  con 
linues  it  for  the  space  of  twenty-four  hours.  See  Lobo's 
Voyage  to  Abyssinia,  Dissertation  on  the  Eastern  Side  of  Africa, 
p.  iWO.  Duncan  gave  wine,  and  bread  steeped  in  the  juice  of 
this  herb  (which  some  suppose  to  be  thesiram<miuni)lo  Iveno,  king 
if  .N'orway,  and  by  the  elfect  of  il  preserved  the  town  of  Bartha, 
in  Scotland,  from  his  attacks.  Buchanan,  llist.  Scot.  lib.  vsi. 
Among  the  ini|uiries  recommended  by  Sir  Robert  Moray,  and 
sent  by  the  Royal  Society  to  Sir  Philiberto  Vernatti,  resident  at 
Batavla.,  are  the  foliov.ing:  "  Whether  the  Indians  can  so  pre- 
••  pare  that  slupifying  herb  datura,  that  they  make  it  lie  several 
"days,  months  years,  according  as  they  will  have  it,  in  a  man's 
"body,  without  doing  him  any  hurt,  and  at  ihe  end  kill  him, 
"without  tuissing  half  an  hour's  time  7  Whether  those  that  be 
"stupified  by  the  juice  of  this  herb,  are  recovered  by  moistening 
•"the  soles  of  their  feet  in  fair  water?"  See  Spratt's  History  of 
»he  Royal  Society,  pp.  161  and  Uti.  "  Henr.  SalmulhusComm 
"in  nova  re|K'rta  Hancirolli,  lib.  i.  lit.  1.     Daturani  appellat  du- 

troam  ;  et  ex  floribus.  ait,  buibi  quandam  speciem  oriri,  in  qua 
'nuclei  sunt,  uielonuiu  semini  similes,  qui  cibo  potionique  per- 

mixti  utentis  cerebrum  pervadunt,  ac  stulliliam  quandam  cum 

ilsu  continuo,  absque  alio  sensu,  aut  ulla  rerum  notitia,  exci- 


3aa  HLDIBRAS.  fl'ART  VI. 

Bewitch  Iiermotic  men  to  run 

Stark  staring  mad  with  manicon  ;* 

Believe  mechanic  virtuosi  32c 

Can  raise  'em  mountains  in  Potosi  ; 

And  sillier  than  the  antic  fools, 

Take  treasure  for  a  heap  of  coals  ;t 

■' lent,  tindemque  soiiinuin  inducant.  Adflit  ex  Christopher!  a 
"Costa  lih.  (le  aroinit.  c^ip.  de  dittira,  Indoruin  Liisit  inoriimque 
'  iixores  nucleos  cos  subindL'  ignirU  nnrilis  e.xhiljere,  ac  deindc 
"  ip4s  spectiintilius  ac  ridentilms,  secure  adullerissuicopiitm  fa- 
"cere:  ex  "oiiini)  vero  e.\c  tatoi  nulliiisrei  iiieiiiini-se,  sed  sopore 
"tantuni  levi  se  correptos  fiiisse  sibi  iniasiinari."  Ilenricus  Mei- 
boniiiis  de  cerevisiis  veleruni.  cap.  23.  Meniinit  Garsias  ah  hor- 
to  hist,  plant,  novi  orl)is,  lib.  ii.  c.  24,  floris  et  seiainis  herb<T, 
quain  daturain  vocat,  cn'.orein  roris  miirini  xiiiulanti:^.  Eiiiii  ait 
potiiit  cilinque  injucmni.  et  assuiiipium,  homines  inpnte  qnodini- 
nodo  alienare,  el  in  risiini  solvere,  alque  anientes  veluti  et  ebri 
■i  facere.     Grnnov.  Anliq.  Gra;c.  i.\.  p.  (UJG. 

.'idvowtry  signifies  tlie  same  with  iidnllery.  The  word  is  used 
oy  Lord  Hill-on,  in  his  Lile  of  Ileiiry  VII.  '■Maximilian  dnke  o( 
"  Burgundy  spike  all  the  evil  he  could  devise  ol"  (;harles  the 
"French  king,  saying  that  he  was  the  most  perfidions  man  upon 
"  earth,  and  tliat  lie  liad  made  a  iiiarriagu  compounded  between 
"an  advowtry  and  a  rape." 

The  sense  of  tlie  passage  i-,  mnke  lewd  old  fellows,  that  arc 
past  actual,  commit,  by  means  ol'dewlry,  imaginary  adultery. 

*  Alchymists,  who  pretend  to  things  beyond  the  power  ofart. 
See  a  long  charicler  of  the  hermetic  philosopher  full  of  wit  and 
learning,  Butler's  Remains,  vol.  ii.  p.  2ii.  Mavicon  is  an  herb, 
so  called  from  its  power  of  causing  madness.  Banquo,  in  Shak 
Bpeare's  Macbeth,  seems  to  allude  to  it  when  he  says  : 

Were  such  things  here,  as  we  do  speak  about  ? 

Or  have  we  eaten  of  the  insane  root, 

That  takes  the  reason  prisoner  ?  Act  i. 

Meiboniiits  de  cerevisis,  xxiii.  10.  Est  in  eodnm  censu  strj-ch- 
non,  sive  manicum,  sive  halicacal>nm,  qute  interdum  ronfun^unt 
auctores.  De  eo  Theophiasius  Hist.  I'lant.  ix.  12,  ait  drachma; 
pondere  potum  efficere  -Kai'sciv  ma  Ka\  boKilv  iavri^  <c«'AAi(rrov 
I'linius  xxi.  ex  eo  lusum  gigni,  sprciesque  vanas  imaginesquc 
conspicuas  obversari,  aftirmit.  Dio<corides  iv.  72,  ait  eadcni 
herba  pota  tpavraaiai  anoTtXfiv  ovk  a/;^C(f. 

t  The  poet  here  ridicules  the  alchymists  for  pretending  to  the 
power  of  transmuting  melals,  or  turning  baser  minerals  into 
Ijold.  In  the  mountains  of  Polo^i  are  the  rich  mines  belonging 
to  the  king  of  t^piin.  The  credulous  disciples  of  these  philoso- 
phers our  author  calls  anlick  fnols.  Antic,  antick,  or  antique, 
because  the  cheat  liegan  to  I.e  nut  of  fashion  when  Mr.  Butler 
wrote  this  part  of  his  book — soon  after  the  IJeitoration.  Or  per- 
haps by  antic  fouls  he  might  mean  those  silly  dreamers,  among 
the  ancients,  who  give  occasion  to  the  proverb,  "  pro  thesauro 
"carbones;"  they  dreamed  of  gold,  but  on  examination  found 
coals;  it  is  frequently  applied  by  Lucian.  And  I'hiedrus  v.  fab. 
vi.    Ben  Jonson  uses  the  word  antique  in  two  senses. 

The  last  line  is  not  c'early  expressed.  If  it  had  been  written, 
"For  treasure  take  an  heap  of  coals,"  or  "Turn  treasure  to  an 
*hca?of  coa.s,"  the  meaning  would  have  been  more  obvio'is 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS,  323 

Seek  out  for  plants  with  signatures, 

To  quack  of  universal  cures  ;*  331 

Witli  (ifjures,  grotind  on  panes  of  glass, 

Make  people  on  their  heads  to  pass  ;t 

And  iniglity  heaps  of  coin  increase, 

lieflected  from  a  single  piece,  ; 

To  draw  in  fools,  whose  nat'ral  itches  JM 

Incline  perpetually  to  witches, 

And  keep  nie  in  continual  fears, 

And  danger  of  my  neck  and  ears  ; 

When  less  delinquents  have  been  scourg'd, 

And  hemp  on  wooden  anvils  forg'd,  3t0 

Which  others  for  cravats  have  worn 

About  their  necks,  and  took  a  turn. 

I  pity'd  the  sad  punishment 
The  wretched  caititF  underwent. 
And  held  my  drubbing  of  his  bones  343 

Too  great  an  honour  for  poltroons  ; 
For  knights  are  bound  to  feel  no  blows 
From  paltry  and  unequal  foes,t 
Who  when  they  slash  and  cut  to  pieces. 
Do  all  with  civillest  addresses:  350 

Their  hoi^ses  never  give  a  blow. 
Rut  when  they  make  a  leg  and  bow.§ 
I  therefore  spar'd  his  tlesh,  and  prest  him 
About  the  witch,  with  many  a  question. 

Quoth  he,  For  many  years  he  drove  355 


'  Plants  whose  leaves  resemble  the  form  of  snnie  or  other  of 
the  viuls.  or  have  marks  or  lisiures  upon  them  representin'i  any 
cuticular  atlection,  were  IhoH-ilil  lopninloul  theirown  medicinal 
qualities.  Thus  wood-sorrel  was  used  as  a  cordial,  heciuise  its 
leaf  is  shaped  like  a  heart.  Liverwort  was  ^iven  for  disorders 
of  the  liver.  The  herb  dragon  w-as  employed  to  counteract  the 
etTectsof  poison,  because  its  stem  is  speckled  like  some  serpents. 
The  yellow  juice  of  the  celandine  recommended  it  for  the  cure 
of  the  jaundice.  And  Paracelsus  said,  that  the  spots  which  ap- 
pear on  the  leaves  of  the  Persicaria  maculosa,  proved  its  efficacy 
in  the  scurvy.  « 

t  The  multiplying  plass,  concave  mirror,  camera  obscura,  and 
other  inventions,  which  were  new  in  our  author's  time,  passed 
with  the  vul^iar  for  enchantments;  and  as  the  law  against 
witches  was  then  in  force,  the  exhiliilers  of  these  curiosities 
were  in  some  danger  of  being  sentenced  to  Bridewell,  the  pillory, 
or  the  halter. 

i  According  to  the  rules  nf  knight-errantry.  See  Don  Quixote, 
(book  iii.  ch.  i..)  and  romances  in  general. 

^  i.  c.  the  courteous  knight  never  strikes  his  hor;:e  but  when 
he  stumbles  ;  but  Mr.  T.  B.  gives  it  a  dilil-rent  sense,  and  thinks 
it  alludes  to  the  action  of  a  horse  when  the  rider  gives  It  a  blow 
on  the  head  ;  ducking  the  head,  and  iliruwing  out  the  leg,  being 
noi  unlike  an  asvkward  bow 


324  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  hi 

A  kind  of  broking-lrade  in  love,* 

Employ'd  in  ail  tli'  intng-iies  and  trust, 

Of  feeble  speculative  lust  • 

Procurer  to  tli'  extravagancy, 

And  crazy  ribaldry  of  fancy,  3M 

By  those  the  devil  had  forsook, 

As  things  below  him,  to  provoke  ; 

But  b'ing  a  virtuoso,  able 

To  smaller,  quack,  and  cant,  and  dabble, 

He  held  his  talent  most  adroit,  365 

For  any  mystical  exploit. 

As  others  of  his  tribe  had  done, 

And  rais'd  their  prices  three  to  one  ; 

For  one  predicting  pimp  has  th'  odds 

Of  chaldrons  of  plain  downright  bawds.  J7t 

But  as  an  elf,  the  devil's  valet, 

Is  not  so  slight  a  thing  to  get,t 

For  those  that  do  his  bus'ness  best. 

In  hell  are  us'd  the  ruggedest  ; 

Before  so  meriting  a  person  375 

Cou'd  get  a  grant,  but  in  reversion. 

He  serv'd  two  'prenticeships,  and  longer, 

I'  th'  myst'ry  of  a  lady-monger. 

For,  as  some  write,  a  witch's  ghost,t 

As  soon  as  from  the  body  loos'd,  380 

Becomes  a  puisney-imp  itself 

And  is  another  witch's  elf, 

He,  after  searching  far  and  near. 

At  length  found  one  in  Lancashire, 

With  whom  he  bargain'd  beforehand,  385 

And,  after  hanging,  entertain'd  : 

Since  which  he  'as  play'd  a  thousand  feats, 

And  practis'd  all  mechanic  cheats  : 

Transform'd  himself  to  th'  ugly  shapes 

Of  wolves  and  bears,  baboons  and  apes,  J90 

Which  he  has  vary'd  more  than  witches. 

Or  Pharaoh's  wizards  cou'd  their  switches  ;§ 

And  all  with  whom  he  'as  had  to  do. 


•  He  transacted  the  liusiness  of  intrigues;  was  a  pimp. 

t  VVilliain  Lilly  lells  us  he  was  fourteen  yenrs  heOire  he  could 
ret  an  elf,  or  ghost  of  a  depiirted  witch.  At  last  he  fonnil  one 
In  Lancashire,  a  country  always  famous  for  witches.  Tbni 
Jl-eveland,  p.-  7G : 

Have  you  not  heard  the  ahnniinable  sport 
A  Lancashire  grand  jury  will  report. 

t  A  better  reading  would  be,  A'uir,  as  some  write. 
^  See  Exodus  vii. 


Canto  i.J  IIUDIBRAS.  325 

Tiirn'd  to  as  monstrous  figures  too  : 

Witness  myself,  whom  lie  'as  abus'd,  395 

And  to  this  beastly  shape  lediic'd, 

By  fcedinjj  me  on  beans  and  peas, 

IIo  crams  in  nasty  crievices. 

And  turns  to  comfits  by  his  arts. 

To  make  me  relish  for  deserts,  400 

And  one  by  one,  with  shame  and  fear, 

Lick  up  the  candy'd  provender. 

Beside — But  as  h'  was  running  on, 

To  tell  what  other  feats  he'ad  done. 

The  lady  stopt  his  full  career,  405 

And  told  him,  now  'twas  time  to  hear. 

If  iialf  those  things,  said  slie,  be  true — 

They're  all,  quoth  he,  I  swear  by  you. 

Why  then,  said  she,  that  Sidrophel 

Has  damn'd  himself  to  th'  |)it  of  hell,  41E 

Who,  mounted  on  a  broom,  the  nag 

And  hackney  of  a  Lapland  hag, 

Li  quest  of  you  came  hither  post. 

Within  an  hour,  I'm  sure,  at  most, 

Who  told  me  all  yon  swear  and  say,  415 

Quite  contrary,  another  way  ; 

Vow'd  that  you  came  to  him,  to  know 

If  yon  shou'd  carry  me  or  no  ; 

And  would  have  hir'd  him  and  his  imps, 

To  be  your  match-makers  and  pimps,  420 

T'  engage  the  devil  on  your  side. 

And  Kteal,  like  Proserpine,  your  bride  ; 

But  he,  disdaining  to  embrace 

So  filthy  a  design,  and  base. 

You  fell  to  vapouring  and  luifTing,  425 

And  drew  upon  him  like  a  rufiian  ; 

Surjjris'd  him  meanly,  unprepar'd, 

Before  he  'ad  time  to  mount  his  guard. 

And  left  him  dead  upon  the  ground, 

With  many  a  bruise  and  des()erate  wound  ;  430 

Swore  yon  had  broke  and  robb'd  his  house, 

And  stole  his  talismanique  louse,* 

And  all  his  new-found  old  inventions, 

^V  ith  fiat  felonious  intentions. 

Which  he  could  bring  out,  where  he  had,  43f 

And  what  he  bought  'em  for,  and  paid : 

*  The  (Kiel  intimates,  that  Siilrophel,  being  much  plajjiied  with 
lice,  hnd  made  n.  Uilisiiian,  or  loriiieil  a  louse  I  n  a  certain  posltluu 
ftf  the  stars  to  chase  away  this  kind  uf  veriniu. 


!,26  HUDIBUAS.  |Paiit  hi 

His  flea,  his  morpion,  and  piincse, 

He 'ad  gotten  for  his  proper  ease,* 

And  all  in  perfect  minutes  made, 

Ry  th'  ablest  artists  of  the  trade  ;  44C 

Which,  he  could  prove  it,  since  he  lost, 

He  has  been  eaten  np  almost. 

And  altogether,  might  amount 

To  many  hundreds  on  account  ; 

For  which  he  'd  got  sufficient  warrant  44S 

To  seize  the  malefactors  errant, 

Without  capacity  of  bail. 

But  of  a  cart's  or  horse's  tail  ; 

And  did  not  doubt  to  bring  the  wretches 

To  serve  for  pendulums  to  watches,  450 

Which,  modern  virtuosi  say. 

Incline  to  hanging  every  way.t 

Beside,  he  swore,  and  swore  'twas  true, 

That  ere  he  went  in  quest  of  you, 

He  set  a  figure  to  discover  i5S 

If  you  were  fled  to  Rye  or  Dover  ; 

And  found  it  clear,  that  to  betray 

Yourselves  and  me,  you  fled  this  way  ; 

And  that  he  was  upon  pursuit, 

To  take  you  somewhere  hereabout.  460 

He  vow'd  he  had  intelligence 

Of  all  that  puss'd  before  and  since  ; 

And  found,  that  ere  you  came  to  him, 

Y'  had  been  engaging  life  and  limb 

About  a  case  of  tender  conscience,  405 

Where  both  abounded  in  your  own  sense  ; 

Til!  Ralpho  by  his  light  and  grace. 

Had  clear'd  all  scruples  in  the  case. 

And  prov'd  that  you  might  swear,  and  own 

Whatever's  by  the  wicked  done  :  470 

For  which,  most  basely  to  requite 

The  service  of  his  gifts  and  light. 

You  strove  t' oblige  liim,  by  main  force. 

To  scourge  his  ribs  instead  of  yours  ; 

But  that  he  stood  u])on  his  guard,  473 

And  all  your  vajwuring  outdar'd  ; 

For  which,!  between  you  both,  the  feat 

Has  never  been  perform'd  as  yet. 


*  The  tiilisman  of  a  flea,  a  louse,  and  a  bud. 
t  The  circular  pemluluins  lor  watches  were  invented  aboot 
onr  author's  time  liy  Dr.  Ilooke. 
t  That  is,  on  whicli  uccount. 


Canto  i.J  IIUDIBIIAS.  327 

While  thus  the  Lady  talk'd,  tho  Kniglit 
Tiiru'd  tir  oiittiido  of  his  eyes  to  white  •*  480 

As  men  of  inward  lifj;ht  are  won 
To  turn  their  optics  in  upon't ; 
Ho  wonder'd  how  she  came  to  know 
Wliat  ho  had  done,  and  meant  to  do  ; 
Pleld  up  liis  aflidavit  liand,t  iM 

As  if  he  'ad  been  to  bo  arraign 'd  ; 
Cast  tow'rds  tho  door  a  ghastly  look, 
In  dread  of  Sidropliel,  and  spoke  : 

IMadam,  if  but  one  word  be  truo 
Of  all  tlie  wizard  lias  told  you,  490 

Or  but  one  single  circumstance 
In  all  th'  apocryphal  romance, 
May  dreadful  earthquakes  swallow  down 
This  vessel,  tiiat  is  all  your  own  ;t 
Or  may  the  heavens  fall,  and  cover  435 

These  relics  of  your  constant  Iover.§ 

You  have  provided  well,  quoth  she, 
I  thank  you  for  yourself  and  me. 
And  shewn  your  presbytcrian  wits 
Jump  punctual  with  the  Jesuits  ;  500 

A  most  compendious  way,  and  civil, 
At  once  to  cheat  the  wo.-ld,  and  devil, 
Willi  heaven  and  hell,  yourselves,  and  those 
On  v/hom  you  vainly  think  t'  impose. 


*  The  dissenters  are  ridiculed  for  .in  affected  sanctity,  and 
turning  up  the  whites  of  their  eyes.    Thus  Ben  Jonsou  : 

he  is  called  for  a  puritan — 

That  used  to  turn  up  llie  eggs  of  liis  eyes. 

And  Fenton  in  his  Poems  : 

Her  eyes  she  disci plin'd  precisely  rig.  t. 

And  when  to  wink,  and  how  to  tnrn  the  white. 

t  When  any  one  t:ikcs  an  oath,  he  puts  his  right  hand  to  the 
Oonk,  that  is,  to  the  New  Testament,  and  kisses  it ;  but  tiie  cov- 
ananters,  in  swearing,  refused  to  kiss  the  hook,  saying  it  was  po- 
pish and  superstitious  :  they  suhstituted  the  ceremony  of  hold- 
ing up  the  right  hand,  which  they  used  also  in  taking  any  oath 
lielore  the  magistrate.  The  seccders  in  Scotland,  wlio  affect  all 
the  precisencss  of  the  old  covenanters,  I  believe  still  adhere  to 
this  practice. 

t  The  knight  has  made  all  needful  proficiency  in  the  art  of 
equivocation.  This  pour  devoted  vessel  is— not  the  aliject  suitor, 
but  the  lady  herself 

^  Flere  the  knight  still  means  the  widow,  but  would  have  it 
understood  of  himself 

TToa«,  reliquias  Danaum  atque  inmitis  .\chillei. 

Virg.  JEa.  i.  3U 
28 


32e  IIl'DIBRAS.  [Part  m 

Why  tlicii,  quota  he,  may  hell  surprise —  SOi 

That  trick,  said  she,  will  no*,  pai-s  twice: 

I've  jearn'd  liow  far  I'm  to  believe 

Your  pinning  oatiis  upon  your  sleeve  ; 

But  there's  a  better  way  of  clearing 

What  you  would  prove,  than  downright  swearing'. 

For  if  you  have  perforni'd  'ho  feat, 

Tile  blows  are  viaiblo  as  yet, 

Enough  to  sen'e  for  satisfaction 

Of  nicest  scruples  in  the  action  ; 

And  if  you  can  produce  those  knobs,  515 

Aitho'  they're  but  the  witch's  drubs, 

I'll  pass  them  all  upon  account, 

As  if  your  iiat'ral  self  had  done  't ; 

Provided  that  they  pass  th'  opinion 

Of  able  juries  of  old  women.  520 

Who,  us'd  to  judge  all  mutter  of  facts 

For  bellies,*  may  do  so  for  backs. 

Madam,  quoth  he,  your  love's  a  million. 
To  do  is  less  than  to  be  willing, 

As  I  am,  were  it  in  my  power,  SiU 

T'  obey  what  you  command,  and  more  ; 
But  for  performing  what  you  bid, 
I  thank  you  as  much  as  if  I  did. 
You  know  I  ought  to  have  a  care 
To  keep  my  wounds  from  taking  air  ;  530 

For  wounds  in  those  *,hat  are  all  heart, 
Are  dangerous  in  any  part. 

I  find,  quoth  she,  my  goods  and  chattels 
Are  like  to  prove  but  mere  drawn  battles ;+ 
For  still  the  longer  we  contend,  535 

We  are  but  farther  ofF  the  end. 
But  granting  now  we  should  agree, 
What  is  it  you  exptct  from  me? 

Your  plighted  faith,  quoth  he,  and  word 
You  pass'd  in  heaven,  on  record,  540 

Where  all  contracts  t'  have  and  t'  hold. 
Are  everlastingly  enroll'd : 
And  if  'tis  counted  treason  here 
To  raze  records,  'tis  much  more  there. 

Quoth  she,  There  are  no  bargains  drlv'n,  515 


*  When  a  woman  oretends  to  be  precnant,  in  order  to  pain  a 
respite  from  her  scntei:ce,  the  fact  must  bo  ascertained  by  a  jury 
of  inat;ons. 

t  That  IS,  to  other  than  ir,atU;r  for  mere  vndcchijje  bicker 

men 


NTO  I.J  IIUDIBUAS.  329 

Nor  marriages  clapp'd  up  in  heav'ii  ;* 

And  that's  the  reason,  as  some  jfuess, 

Tliorc  is  no  lieav'ii  in  marriages  ; 

Two  things  that  naturally  presst 

Too  narrowly,  to  be  at  case  :  350 

Their  biis'uess  there  is  only  love, 

Whicli  marriage  is  not  like  t'  improve  ;t 

Love,  that's  too  generous  t'  abide 

To  be  against  its  nature  ty'd  ; 

For  where  'tis  of  itself  inclin'd,  955 

It  breaks  loose  when  it  is  confin'd,§ 

And  like  the  soul,  its  harbourer, 

Uebarr'd  the  freedom  of  the  air, 

Disdains  against  its  will  to  stay. 

But  struggles  out,  and  flies  away :  560 

And  therefore  never  can  comply, 

T'  endure  the  matrimonial  tie. 

That  binds  the  female  and  the  male, 

Where  Ih'  one  is  but  the  other's  bail  ;|| 

Like  Roman  gaolers,  when  they  slept,  565 

Chain'd  to  the  prisoners  they  kept  :ir 

Of  which  the  true  and  failhfull'st  lover 

Gives  best  security  to  suli'er 

Marriage  is  but  a  beast,  some  say,** 

*  The  author  alludes  to  Mark  xii.  25:  "For  when  they  shall 
"  arise  iVoin  the  dead,  lliey  neither  marry  nor  are  given  in  inar- 
"  riace." 
t  Ihat  is,  bargains  and  marriages. 
{  Plurinius  in  crelis  amor  est,  connubia  nulla  : 

C'onjujiia  in  terris  pluriniu,  nullus  amor. 
•J  The  widow's  notions  of  loi'C  are  similar  to  those  of  Eloise, 
80  happily  expressed  by  I'ope  :  i 

Love,  free  as  air,  at  sight  of  human  ties, 
i?prcads  his  light  wings,  and  in  a  moment  flies. 
So  Chaucer,  in  his  Frankeleines  Tale : 

I<nve  wol  not  be  constrained  by  maistric: 
Whan  mnistrie  comelh,  the  god  of  love  anon 
Uetelii  his  winges,  and,  farewel,  he  is  gon, 
iElius  Venis,  according  to  Spartian,  used  to  say,  "  Uxor  dignl  • 
"  talis  nomen  est,  non  volnptalis." 

II  That  is,  where  if  one  of  them  is  faulty,  the  other  is  drawn 
mto  difficulties  by  it,  and  the  truest  lover  gives  best  security  to 
sulTer,  or  is  likely  to  be  the  greatest  sufferer. 

ir  The  custiim  among  the  Romans  was  the  same  as  among 
modern  constables,  to  chain  the  richt  hand  of  the  culprit  to  the 
left  hand  of  the  guani  :  Modus  est,  ut  is  qui  in  noxa  esset,  cate- 
nani  manui  dc.xtra:  alligatam  habcret,  qux>  cadcm  mililis  sinis- 
tram  vinciret. 

**  Sir  'I'homas  Brown,  author  of  the  Vulgar  Errors,  and  Re- 
ligio  Medici,  speaks  of  the  ultimate  act  of  love  as  a  folly  beneatb 


U30  IIUDIBRAS  [Part  m 

That  carries  double  in  foul  way,  573 

And  therefore  'tis  not  to  be  admir'd, 

It  should  so  suddenly  be  tir'd  ; 

A  bargain,  at  a  venture  made, 

Between  two  partners  in  a  trade  ; 

For  what's  inlerr'd  by  t'  have  and  t'  hold,  57b 

But  something  pass'd  away  and  sold  ?* 

That,  as  it  makes  but  one  of  two, 

Reduces  all  things  else  as  low  ; 

And  at  the  best  is  but  a  mart 

Between  the  one  and  Ih'  other  part,  580 

That  on  the  marriage  day  is  paid. 

Or  liour  of  death,  the  bet  is  laid  ;t 

And  all  tlie  rest  of  better  or  worse, 

Both  are  but  losers  out  of  purse  : 

For  when  upon  their  ungot  heirs  585 

Til'  entail  themselves  and  all  that's  theirs. 

What  blinder  bargain  e'er  was  driven. 

Or  wager  laid  at  six  and  seven '! 

To  pass  themselves  away,  and  turn 

Their  children's  tenants  ere  they're  boru  ?  590 

Beg  one  another  idiot 

To  guardians,  ere  they  are  begot ; 


e  philosopher,  and  says,  that  he  could  be  content  that  we  might 
l)r(*reate  like  trees  without  conjiinclion.  But,  after  writing  this, 
be  descended  from  his  philosophic  dignity,  and  married  an  agree- 
able woman : 

The  strong,  the  brave,  the  virtuous,  and  the  wise. 
Sink  in  the  soft  captivity  togetlier. 

Addison's  Cato. 

*  An  equivocation.  The  words  •'  to  have  and  to  hold,"  in  the 
marriage  ceremony,  signify"!  take  to  possess  and  keep;"  in 
deeds  of  conveyance  their  meaning  is,  "i  give  to  be  possessed 
"and  kept  by  another." 

t  (Thus  in  sori'.eeduions.)  The  poet's  allusions  are  sometimes 
far-fetched  and  obscure.  Perh;ips  he  means,  that  each  party  ex- 
pects to  find  a  satisfaction  in  marriage;  and  if  they  are  a  little 
disappoinleil  when  they  come  together,  they  will  not  fail  to  meet 
with  it  when  they  are  separated.  Marl,,  is  marketing,  or  matter 
of  purchase  between  the  i)arties,  who  are  only  reijiiliursed  the 
venture  made,  on  the  marriage  day,  or  hour  of  death  ;  and  as  to 
any  thing  else  in  marriage  both  parties  are  losers,  (or  they  settle 
and  give  away  their  estates  to  ungot  heirs;  consigning  them- 
selves, like  idiots  and  lunatics,  to  guardians  and  trustees.  Mr. 
Butler  generally  pursues  his  subject  as  far  as  he  can  with  pr- 
priety.  But  I  do  not  know  tViat  we  can  justify  the  transition,  in 
this  spoecli,  from  a  lively  vindication  of  the  genenm-i  nature  of 
lOve,  to  a  long  detail  of  the  abuses  and  evils  of  niairlmony.  He 
might  wish  for  an  opporlunity  of  satirizing  the  vices  of  the  times 
Beside,  we  learn,  that  he  had  sntlered  some  inconveniences  him 
keif  from  an  unfortunate  marriage. 


Canto  i.J  IIUDIBRAS.  331 

Or  ever  shall,  perhaps,  by  th'  one 

Who's  bound  to  vouch  them  for  his  own, 

Tlio'  jrot  b'  implicit  ocncralion,*  SOI 

And  general  qlub  of  all  the  nation  ; 

For  which  she's  fortify'd  no  less 

Than  all  the  island  with  four  seas  ;+ 

Exacts  the  tribute  of  her  dower, 

In  ready  insolence  and  |)ower,  600 

And  makes  him  pass  away,  to  have 

And  hold  to  her,  himself,  her  slave. 

More  wretched  than  an  ancient  villain,! 

Condenin'd  to  drudgerj'  and  tilling ; 

While  all  he  docs  upon  the  by,  6J5 

She  is  not  bound  to  justify, 

Nor  at  her  proper  cost  or  charge 

Maintain  the  feats  he  docs  at  large. 

Such  hideous  sots  were  those  obedient 

Old  vassals  to  their  ladies  regent,  010 

To  give  the  cheats  the  eldest  hand 

In  foul  play,  by  the  laws  o'  th'  land, 

For  which  so  many  a  legal  cuckold 

Has  been  run  down  in  courts,  and  truckl'd  ; 

A  law  that  most  unjustly  yokes  61£ 

All  Johns  of  Stiles  to  Joans  of  Nokes,§ 

Without  distincliou  of  degree, 

Condition,  age,  or  quality  ; 

Admits  no  pow'r  of  revocation, 

Nor  valuable  consideration,  620 

Nor  writ  of  error,  nor  reverse 

Of  judgment  past,  for  belter  or  worse  , 

Will  not  allow  the  privileges 

That  beggars  challenge  under  hedges, 

*  Dr.  Johnson  says,  implicit  signifies  mi.\e(1,  complicated,  intrt 
cate.  trerplexed. 

t  The  iiiierpretntion  of  the  law  was,  tnat  a  child  could  not  be 
deemed  a  liastiird,  if  the  hu«l);ind  had  remained  in  the  island,  or 
within  the  ftmr  seas.    See  Butler  s  Remains,  vol.  i.  \i.  )2-2. 

}  The  villains  were  a  sort  of  slaves,  hound  to  perform  the 
meanest  and  most  laliorions  offices.  1'hey  were  appendages  to 
the  lanil,  and  passed  with  it  to  any  purchaser :  as  the  lord  was 
not  answcralile  for  any  thin?  ilone  hy  his  vdlain  tenant,  no  more 
is  the  wife  tiir  any  thiii';  done  hy  her  villain  husband,  though  he 
is  bound  to  jnslily  ami  maintain  all  that  his  wife  does  by  the  hy. 
For  whicli  so  ui:iny  an  injured  lius'mnd  has  sulimitled  to  have 
his  character  run  down  in  the  couits,  and  sutTer  himself  to  be 
proved  a  cuckcdd  on  record,  that  he  might  recover  damages  from 
Ihe  adultc-rer. 

$  The  poet  makes  the  latter  a  female  :  they  are  names  (riven 
tn  law  proccedin;is  to  indefinite  persons,  like  Caius  and  Titiij 
•n  the  civil  law 


33-3  IICDIBRAS.  [Part  m 

Who,  when  they're  griev'd,  can  make  dead  horses 

Tlieir  spiritual  jiidtjes  of  divorces  ;* 

While  nothing  else  but  rem  in  re 

Can  set  the  proudest  wretches  free  ; 

A  slavery  beyond  enduring, 

But  that  'tis  of  tlieir  own  procuring.t  63C 

As  spiders  never  seek  tl'"  *\y, 

But  leave  him,  of  Inmselt,  t'  apply  ; 

So  men  are  by  themselves  betray'd, 

To  quit  the  freedom  they  enjoy'd, 

And  run  their  necks  into  a  noose,  6.T5 

They'd  break  'em  after  to  break  loose. 

As  some,  whom  death  would  not  depart, t 

Have  done  the  feat  themselves  by  art. 

Like  Indian  widows,  gone  to  bed 

In  flaming  curtains  to  the  dead  ;^  64C 

And  men  as  often  dangled  for't, 

And  yet  will  never  leave  the  sport. 

Nor  do  the  ladies  want  excuse 

For  all  the  stratagems  they  use, 

To  gain  th'  advantage  of  the  sct,I|  :4i 

And  lurch  the  amorous  rook  and  cheat. 

For  as  the  Pythagorean  soul 

Runs  thro'  all  beasts,  and  fish,  and  fowl, IT 

*  Tlie  gipsies,  it  is  said,  are  satisfied  of  the  validity  of  sach 
iecisions. 
+  B(!cause  the  statutes  are  framed  by  men  : 

ZcvxOiii  yafiotatv  ovk  iXtvOcndi  y  t<ii\. 
N<5/ii^£  yi]\iOLi  hovKoi  tivai  rio  ttit).: 

Bninck.  Poet.  Gn.  224. 

t  Alluding  to  several  reviews  of  the  rniiinion  priyer  before 
the  last,  where  it  stood,  "  'til  death  us  depart,"  and  then  altered, 
"  til  death  us  do  part." 

^  They  burn  themselves  on  the  funeral  piles  of  their  hus- 
bands. "Mulieres  vero  in  India,  cum  est  cujusvis  earuin  vir 
"  morlHus,  in  certanien  judiciumque  veniunt,  quam  pliirimum 
'■  ille  dile.\erit ;  plures  eniui  sinsruiis  solent  esse  iiupiie.  GuiB  est 
"victrix,  ea  la'Ui,  l)losequentihns  suis,  una  cum  viro  in  ru*!!!!!! 
"  iniponitur."  Cicero,  Tu^c.  Disputat.  v.  27.  Slrabo  says,  they 
were  olili-icd  to  do  so  by  law,  because  the  women  were  wont  to 
poison  their  husbands  :  and  of  later  times,  those  women  who  by 
any  means  evade  the  performince  of  it,  are  accounted  infamous 
for  the  rest  of  their  lives.  By  thu  English  law,  women  who 
murder  their  husbands  are  deemed  jiuiliy  il  petty  treason,  and 
rundcmned  to  be  burnt.  In  India,  when  the  husband  dies,  and 
his  corpse  is  humeri,  his  wives  throw  themselves  into  the  fune- 
ral pile  ;  and  it  is  pretendeil  they  do  it  out  of  alfection  ;  but  some 
think  the  custom  was  instituted  U)  deter  the  wile  from  hastening 
the  period  of  her  husband's  existence. 

Ji  Set,  that  is,  game,  a  term  at  tennis. 

V  Pythagoras,  according  to  Heraclides  -ised  to  say  ol  himself 


«:a>to  I.]  IIliDIHRAS.  335 

And  lias  u  smack  of  e  f'ry  one, 

So  love  (loos,  and  has  ever  done  ;  G50 

And  tlieielore,  thouirli  'tis  ne'er  so  fond, 

'J'akes  stran^rely  to  the  vagabond. 

"I'is  but  an  aijiie  that's  rever.sl, 

Whose  hot  lit  takes  the  patient  first, 

That  after  burns  witli  cold  as  much  655 

As  iron  in  Greenland  does  the  touch  ;* 

Melts  in  the  furnace  of  desire, 

Like  glass,  that's  hut  the  ice  of  fire  ; 

And  when  his  heat  of  fancy's  over. 

Becomes  as  hard  and  irail  a  lover  :+  C6C 

For  when  he's  with  love-powder  luden, 

And  prini'd  and  cock'd  by  Miss  or  Madam, 

'I'he  smallest  sparkle  of  an  eye 

Gives  fire  to  his  artillery, 

And  ort'  the  loud  oaths  go,  but,  while  C6S 

They're  in  the  very  act,  recoil : 

Hence  'tis  so  few  dare  take  their  chance 

Without  a  sep'rate  maintenance  ; 

And  widows,  who  have  try'd  one  lover, 

Trust  none  again  'till  they've  made  over  ;t  67C 

Or  if  they  do,  before  they  marry. 

The  foxes  weigh  the  geese  they  carry  ; 

And  ere  they  venture  o'er  a  stream. 

Know  how  to  size  themselves  and  them. 

Whence  wittiest  ladies  always  choose  675 

To  undertake  the  heaviest  goose  : 

For  now  the  world  is  grown  so  wary, 

That  few  of  either  se.\  dare  marry, 

But  rat'.ier  trust,  on  tick,  t'  amours, 


ihat  he  reincmliered  not  only  what  men,  but  what  plants  aiui 
tvhat  animals  his  soul  had  passed  Ihroiigh.  And  Enipcdocles 
decliired  of  hiinscir.  that  he  had  liecn  first  a  boy,  tltcii  a  girl, 
then  a  plant,  then  a  bird,  then  a  fish. 

♦  Metals,  if  applied  to  the  (lesh,  in  very  cold  climates,  occa- 
Bion  extreme  pain.  Mr.  Butler,  in  his  JIS  Common-place  book, 
has  quoted  : 

Ne  leniies  pluvia^,  rapidivc  potenlia  solis 
Acrior,  am  Borca;  penetrabile  frigiis  adiirat. 

Virg.  G'corg.  i.  92. 

Bee  J-ihnson  on  Psalm  c.vxi.  G,  and  his  note.  That,  i.  e.  the  pa- 
tient. 

t  That  is,  becomes  a  lover  as  hard  and  frail  as  glass :  for  h« 
aielts  in  the  furnace  of  desire,  but  then  it  is  lil<e  the  melting  o.' 
g'.ass,  which,  when  the  heat  is  over,  is  but  a  kind  of  Ice. 

t  Made  over  tlieir  [  roperty,  in  trust,  to  a  thinl  person  for  thell 
loie  and  separate  use 


334  I1UDII3R(VS.  lliRTn* 

Tlic  cross  and  pile  for  better  or  worse  ;*  C«' 

A  mode  that  is  lieid  honourable, 

As  well  as  P'rench,  and  lashionable  : 

For  when  it  falls  out  for  the  best, 

Where  both  are  incommoded  least, 

111  soul  and  body  two  unite,  68J 

To  make  up  one  liermaphrodite. 

Still  amorous,  and  fond,  and  billing, 

Like  Phillip  and  Mary  on  a  shilling,^ 

They've  )iiore  punctilios  and  capriches 

Between  the  jtctticoat  and  breeches,  69C 

More  petulant  extravagances, 

Thau  poets  make  'em  in  romances ; 

Tho',  when  their  heroes  'spouse  the  dames, 

We  hear  no  more  of  charms  and  flames  ; 

For  then  their  late  attracts  decline,  095 

And  turn  as  eager  as  prick'd  wine  ; 

And  all  their  catterwauling  tricks. 

In  earnest  to  as  jealous  piques. 

Which  th'  ancients  wisely  signify'd 

By  th'  yellow  mantos  of  the  bride.t  700 

For  jealousy  is  but  a  kind 

Of  clap  and  grincam  of  the  mind,§ 


*  Whose  tonge  no  pill  ne  cronche  male  hire.  J.  Gower. 
Here  it  sifrnifies  a  mere  (  hivnce,  toss  up,  heads  or  tails.  This 
line  constitutes  a  sentence,  which  is  tlie  r.ccusative  case  after 
the  verl>  trust;  in  this  sense,  tru-it  the  chance  for  happiness  or 
unhappiness  to  jjallantries,  for  whicli  they  take  one  anotlicr't 
word. 

t  On  the  shillings  of  Philip  and  Mary,  coined  1555,  the  faces 
arc  placed  opposite,  and  pretty  near  to  each  other. 

t  The  liride,  among  the  Romans,  was  hrought  home  to  her 
hushand  in  a  yellow  veil,  tailed  flammeujn.  Thus  Catullus, 
lix.  6: 

Cinge  tempora  floribns 
Siiave-olenlis  amaraci: 
Flammeum  cape, 
and  Lucan,  ii.  361 : 

Lutea  deniissos  velarunt  flammea  vultns. 

Tlie  widow  intimates,  that  the  yellow  color  of  the  veil  wa.« 
an  einlilem  of  jealousy.  The  g:ill,  which  is  of  that  color,  was 
considered  as  the  seat  of  the  evil  passions.  We  learn  from  Plu- 
tarch's connubial  precepts,  that  they  who  sacrificed  to  Juno  did 
not  consecrate  tlie  gall.  Iiiu  threw  it  lieside  the  altar  :  signitying 
that  gall  or  anger  should  never  attend  a  mirriace;  hut  that  the 
severity  of  a  matron  should  he  profitiilile  and  (.feasant,  like  the 
roughness  of  wine,  and  not  disagreeable  and  of  a  medicinal  qual- 
ity, like  aloes. 

$  The  later  editions  read  crineam  ;  either  of  them  is  a  cani 
Rruru,  denoting  an  infectious  disease,  or  whiinsicai  atiection,  of 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  135 

Tlio  natural  efFect  of  love, 

As  otiicr  llaiiics  and  aches  prove  : 

But  all  the  mischief  is,  the  doubt  '  03 

Oil  whoso  account  they  first  broke  out ; 

For  tho'  Chincses  go  to  bed, 

And  lie-in  in  their  ladies'  stead,* 

And,  for  the  pains  they  took  before. 

Are  nurs'd  and  pamper'd  to  do  more  ;  710 

Our  green-men  do  it  worse,  when  th'  liapT 


the  mind,  applied  comiiinnly  to  love,  lewdness,  or  jealonsy. 
Thus,  in  the  ni:inors  of  E:ist  and  West  Enbiirne,  in  Herkshire,  if 
the  widow  liy  incDntinence  forfeits  lier  free  bench,  she  may  re- 
cover it  again,  liy  ridinj;  into  the  next  manor  court,  bacltward,  on 
•«  blacit  ram,  with  his  tail  in  her  hand,  and  saying  the  following 
words : 

jBJcvc  £  nm,  vftifujj  upon  a  Oladt  ram, 
2li'Uc  a  UjIjovc  n.5  t-  nm  : 
Sluti  fov  mj)  cvtucum  cvanrum, 
5iQa\)c  lo.^t  mi)  bfitcum  lancum. 

lUuiint'sVragmenta  Antiiiuilat.  first  ed.  p.  144. 
(Nares'-s  Glossary  atlords  the  follnwins  perfectly  explanatory 
passage  :  "  You  must  know.  Sir,  in  a  nol)leiMan  'tis  abusive  ;  no, 
"in  him  the  serpigo,  in  a  knight  the  irrhicomcs,  in  a  gentleman 
"the  Neapolitan  scalib,  and  in  a  serving  man  or  artificer  the 
"plainepox."    .loncs's  .'Vdrasta,  1035.     C.  2.] 

•  In  some  countries,  after  the  wife  has  recovered  her  lying-in 
it  has  been  the  custom  fjr  the  husband  to  go  to  bed,  and  l>e  treat- 
ed with  the  same  care  and  tenderness.  Apollonius  Rhodius,  11 
1013,  says  of  the  Tibarini  in  Pontus  : 

Tovaie  hit   avriK'  CTreira  rcvriraiuv  Aioj  aKprjv 
rirt'^^ai'T-fj,  (TiioiTo  r(jpf|  Ti/i«pi;i''^<'  y"ia>'- 
*Ei9'  ir.ti  up  KC  TiKuivrai  vrr'  aviiJiiai  riKva  yvvaiKti, 
KvToX  jjiiv  arttidxuvaiv  ill  Xtxftfffft  Trcirrfi'rsj, 
Koduru  inaiiitivoi'  rui  6'  ci  Knjxiovaiv  titiibfi 
'Aiipw,  ^^t  Xocrpu  Xtxtiia  i"oi(Tt  -nivovTai. 

\nd  Valerius  Flaccus,  v.  US: 

Indo  Geneta-i  rupem  Jo"is,  hinc  Tibarennm 
Dant  virides  post  terga  lacus  ;  ubi  deside  mitri 
Fceia  lig  It,  parHi<iuc  virum  fovet  ipsa  solulo. 

The  history  of  mankind  htUh  ^carccly  furnished  any  thing 
innre  unaccountable  than  the  prevalence  tif  this  custom.  We 
meet  witli  it  in  ancient  and  modern  tinjes,  in  the  old  world  and 
In  the  new,  among  nations  who  cnuld  never  h  ive  liad  the  least 
Intercourse  witli  each  other.  In  Turchtis's  Pilgrim,  it  is  said  to 
bo  praclisrd  among  llie  Urazilians.  At  Ilaerlcm.  a  cambric 
cockade  hung  to  the  door,  shows  that  the  woman  of  the  house 
Is  brought  to  bed,  and  that  her  hu<band  claims  a  jirotection  from 
arrests  during  tlie  six  weeks  of  his  wife's  confinement.  Folnitis 
Memoirs,  v<d.  ii.  p.  3i)0. 

t  Haw,  ine.xpiTienccd  youths ;  or  else  the  beans  and  coxcombs 
ef  those  days,  who  might  delight  in  green  clothes :  or  perhaei 


33€  HUDIBRAS.  IPart  id. 

To  fall  in  laooiir  of  a  clap  ; 

Both  lay  the  child  to  one  another, 

But  who's  the  father,  who  the  mother, 

"Tis  hard  to  say  in  multitudes,  71J 

Or  who  imported  the  French  goods.* 

But  health  and  sickness  b'ing  all  one. 

Which  both  engag'd  before  to  own,t 

And  are  not  with  their  bodies  bound 

To  worship,  only  when  they're  sound,  721 

Both  give  and  take  their  equal  shares 

Of  all  they  suffer  by  false  wares  ; 

A  fate  no  lover  can  divert 

With  all  his  caution,  wit,  and  art : 

For  'tis  in  vain  to  think  lo  guess  725 

At  women  by  appearances, 

That  paint  and  patch  their  imperfections 

Of  intellectual  complections, 

And  daub  their  tempers  o'er  with  washes 

As  artificial  as  their  faces  ;  730 

Wear  under  vizard-masks  their  talents 

And  mother-wits  before  their  gallants  : 


ne  means  a  new-inanied  couple.     Shakspeare,  in  Hamlet,  (Act 
V.  sc.  5,)  says : 

And  we  have  done  but  greenly  to  inter  him. 

*  Nicholas  Monardes,  a  physician  of  Seville,  who  died  1577, 
'ells  us  that  this  disease  was  supposed  to  have  been  brought  into 
Europe  at  the  sic^e  of  Naples,  from  the  West  Indies,  by  some  of 
Columbus's  sailors,  wlio  accompanied  him  to  Naples  on  his  re 
turn  from  liis  tirst  voyape.  When  peace  was  there  made  be- 
tween the  French  and  Spaniards,  the  armies  of  both  nations  had 
free  intercourse,  and  conversina  with  the  same  women,  were  in- 
fected by  this  disorder.  'J'he  Spaniards  tlioujiht  they  tiad  re- 
ceived the  contagion  from  the  French,  and  the  French  mMintained 
that  it  had  been  communicated  to  them  by  the  Spaniards.  Gn- 
icciardin,  in  the  end  of  his  sc:;onn  book,  dates  the  orifiin  of  this 
distemper  in  Europe  at  the  year  1495.  Ur.  Cascoi;!ne,  as  quoted 
by  Anthony  Wood,  says  he  had  known  several  persons  who  had 
died  of  it  in  his  time.  Naples  was  besieced  in  the  reian  of  our 
Henry  VII.,  and  Dr.  Gascoigne  lived  in  the  time  of  Richard  II. 
and  Henry  VI.  His  will  was  proved  in  tlie  year  14.')7.  The  ac- 
count of  Monardes  is  erroneous  in  many  particulars.  Indeed, 
after  all  the  pains  which  have  been  taken  by  judicious  writers, 
to  prove  that  this  disease  was  bron^ht  from  America  or  the  West 
Indies,  the  fact  is  not  sufficiently  established.  Perhaps  it  was  gen- 
erated in  Guinea,  or  some  other  equinoctial  part  of  .Ulrica.  As 
Wuc,  the  best  writer  on  this  subject,  says  it  was  brought  from 
the  West  Indies  between  the  years  1494  and  1495. 

t  Alluding  to  the  words  of  the  marriage  ceremony  ;  so  in  the 
fullowlng  lines, 

with  tlieir  bodies  bound 

To  Knrship. 


?:a.nto  1.]  IIUDIBRAS  337 

Until  they're  liamper'd  in  the  noose, 

Too  fast  to  drcuni  of  breakiiior  loose  ; 

When  ull  the  flaws  they  strove  to  liido  735 

.Vro  inado  unready  'A'ith  the  bride, 

That  witl)  her  wedding-clothes  undresses 

Her  coini)Uiisanco  and  gentilesses  ; 

Tries  all  lier  arts  to  take  upon  her 

The  government,  from  th'  easy  owner  ;  7-JO 

Until  the  wretch  is  glad  to  wave 

His  lawful  right,  and  turn  her  slave  ; 

Find  all  his  having  and  his  holding 

Reduc'd  f  eternal  noise  and  scolding  ; 

The  conjugal  petard,  tiiat  tears  7*5 

Down  all  portcullices  of  ears,* 

And  makes  the  volley  of  one  tongue 

For  all  their  leathern  shields  too  strong ; 

When  only  arm'd  with  noise  and  nails, 

The  female  silkworms  ride  the  males,t  750 

Transform  'cm  into  rams  and  goats, 

Like  syrens,  with  their  charming  notes  ; 

Sweet  as  a  screech-owl's  serenade. 

Or  those  enchanting  murmurs  made 

By  th'  husband  mandrake,  and  the  wife,  755 

Both  bury'd,  hke  themselves,  alive.t 

Quoth  he,  These  reasons  are  but  strains 
Of  wanton,  over-heated  brains. 
Which  ralliers  in  their  wit  or  drink 
Do  ratlier  wheedle  with,  than  think.  760 

Man  was  not  man  in  paradise. 
Until  he  was  created  twice, 
And  had  his  better  half,  his  bride, 


*  The  pnct  humorously  compares  the  noise  and  clamor  of  a 
»<.(>!iling  wife,  which  hreaks  the  drum  of  her  hushand's  ears,  to 
the  prtard,  or  sliort  cannon,  beatin;;  down  the  Kates  of  a  castle. 

t  That  is,  llie  females,  like  silk-worms,  gaudy  reptiles. 

1  Ancient  hotanists  entertained  various  conceits  ahout  this 
plant ;  in  its  liirked  roots  they  discovered  the  shapes  of  men  and 
women  ;  and  the  sound  which  proceeded  from  its  strong  fibres, 

nen  strained  or  torn  from  the  ground,  they  tocdi  lor  the  voice  of  a 
<iuman  bi-ing  ;  sometimes  they  imagined  tliat  they  had  distinctly 
heard  their  'conversation.  The  poet  takes  the  liberty  of  enlarg- 
ing upon  these  hints  and  represents  the  mandrake  iiusband  and 
wife  quarrelling  under  ground  ;  a  situ-ilion,  he  says,  not  more 
uncomfortable  than  that  of  a  married  pair  continually  at  vari- 
ance, since  these,  if  not  in  fact,  are  virtually  buried  alive.  In 
Columella,  lib.  .v.,  we  have,  semihomines  mandragora;  flores 
The  Hebrew  word,  in  Genesis,  maybe  disputed  upon  forever. 
Benoit,  the  historian  of  the  revocation  of  the  edict  of  NantZ, 
thought  it  meant  strawberries.    Chaufepit,  v.  Benoit. 


S38  HUDIBRAS  ipAm  la 

Carv'il  from  th'  original,  his  side,* 

T'  amend  his  natural  defects,  "JM 

And  perfect  his  recruited  sex  ; 

Enlarge  his  breed,  at  once,  and  lessen 

The  pains  and  labour  of  increasing, 

By  changing  them  for  other  cares, 

As  by  his  dry'd-up  paps  appears.  77C 

His  body,  that  stupendous  frame, 

Of  all  the  world  the  anagram.t 

Is  of  two  equal  parts  compact. 

In  shape  and  symmetry  exact. 

Of  which  the  left  and  female  side  77S 

Is  to  the  manly  right  a  bride, t 

Both  join'd  together  with  such  art, 

That  nothing  else  but  death  can  part. 

Those  heav'niy  attracts  of  your's,  your  eyeSj 

And  face,  that  all  the  world  surj)rise,  7S0 

That  dazzle  all  that  look  upon  ye. 

And  scorch  nil  other  ladies  tawny  : 

Those  ravishing  and  charming  graces, 

Are  all  made  up  of  two  half  faces 

That,  in  a  mathematic  line,  785 

Like  those  in  other  heav'ns,  join  ;§ 

Of  which,  if  either  grew  alone, 


*  Thus  Cleveland  : 

A(i;ini,  'til  liis  rib  was  lost. 

Had  the  sexes  thus  engrost. 

When  Troviilcnce  our  sire  did  cleave. 

And  out  of  Adum  carved  Eve, 

Then  did  men  'hout  wedlock  treat, 

To  make  his  body  up  complete. 
t  The  world  in  a  state  of  transposition.    Man  is  often  called 
the  microcosm,  or  world  in   miniature,     ^nag-ram  is  a  conceit 
from  the  letters  of  a  name   transposed;  though  perhaps  with 
more  propriety  we  might  read  dlngram. 

t  In  the  Symposium  of  Plato,  Aristophanes,  one  of  thedialo- 
gists  relates,  that  the  human  species,  at  its  original  formation, 
consisted  not  only  of  miles  and  females,  but  of  a  third  kind,  com- 
posed of  two  entire  beings  of  ditlisrent  se\es.  This  last  rebelled 
against  Jupiter;  and  for  a  punishment,  or  to  render  its  attacks 
the  less  formidable  in  future,  was  completely  d'vided.  The 
strong  propensity  which  inclines  the  separate  parts  to  a  reunion, 
is,  according  to  the  same  fal>le,  the  origin  of  love.  And  since  it 
is  hardly  possible  that  the  dissevered  moieties  should  stumble 
ipon  each  other,  after  they  have  wandered  about  the  earth,  we 
may,  upon  the  same  hypothesis,  account  for  the  number  of  un- 
happy and  disproportionate  matches  which  men  daily  engage 
in,  by  saying  that  they  mistJike  their  proper  halves. 

$That  is,  that  join  insensibly  in  an  imperceptible  line,  like  the 
imaginary  lines  of  mathematicians  Other  heavens,  that  is,  the 
real  licavcns. 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  330 

'Twould  fright  as  much  to  look  upon  : 

And  so  would  tliut  sweet  hud,  your  lip, 

Without  the  other's  fellowship.  79C 

Our  nohlest  senses  act  by  jjairs, 

Two  eyes  to  see,  to  hear  two  ears  ; 

Th'  intelligencers  of  tlio  mind, 

To  wait  upon  the  soul  design'd : 

But  those  that  serve  the  body  alono,  79C 

Arc  single  and  confin'd  to  one. 

The  world  is  but  two  parts,  that  meet 

And  close  at  th' equinoctial  fit ; 

And  so  arc  all  the  works  of  nature, 

Stamp'd  with  her  signature  on  matter  ^  800 

Which  all  her  creatures,  to  a  leaf, 

Or  smallest  blade  of  grass,  receive.* 

All  which  sufficiently  declare 

How  entirely  marriage  is  her  care, 

The  only  method  that  she  uses,  805 

In  a'll  the  wonders  slie  produces  ; 

And  those  that  take  their  rules  from  her 

Can  never  bo  deceiv'd,  nor  err : 

For  what  secures  the  civil  life, 

But  pawns  of  children,  and  a  wife  ?t  810 

That  lie,  like  hostages,  at  stake, 

To  pay  for  all  men  undertake  ; 

To  whom  it  is  as  necessary, 

As  to  be  born  and  breathe,  to  marry  ; 

So  universal,  all  mankind  815 

In  nothing  else  is  of  one  mind  : 

For  ia  what  stupid  age,  or  nation, 

Was  marriage  ever  out  of  fashion  ?t 

Unless  among  the  Amazons, 

Or  cloister'd  friars  and  vestal  nuns,§  830 

Or  stoics,  who,  to  bar  the  freaks 

And  loose  excesses  of  tho  sex, 

Prepost'rously  would  have  all  women 

Turu'd  up  to  all  the  world  ia  commoa  ;II 


*  The  sexual  differencrs  nf  pl.Tnts. 

t  Qui  lihtros  genuit,  obsides  IbrUina;  deilit. 

t  The  (jeneral  prevalence  of  niatriiiiony  is  a  good  argument 
"or  it<  use  und  conlinuanie. 

'J  The  Atiiaznns  were  vvnnicn  of  Scythian  extraction,  settled 
In  Cnppadocia,  who,  as  Justin  tells  us,  avoided  marriage,  ac- 
fountin?  it  no  liett<T  than  servituile.  C/oistcrcd  frinrs.  so  termed 
by  tVie  poet,  hecau-^e  they  take  a  vow  of  celilncy  like  the  vestals 
In  ancient  Konie.  The  poor  vestal  nuns  must  have  a  place  in 
be  calal();.'ue. 

II  Dioeencs  asserted,  that  marriage  was  nothing  but  an  emptv 
29 


J40  HCDIBRAS.  [Part  m 

Tho'  men  would  find  such  mortal  feuds  825 

In  sliaring  of  their  public  goods, 

'Twould  put  them  to  more  charge  of  lives, 

Than  they're  supply'd  with  now  by  wives ; 

Until  they  graze  and  wear  their  clothes, 

As  b'^asts  do,  of  their  native  growths  :*  830 

For  simple  wearing  of  their  horns 

Will  not  suffice  to  serve  their  turns. 

For  wliat  can  we  pretend  t'  inherit, 

Unless  the  marriage  deed  will  bear  if  ? 

Could  claim  no  right  to  lands  or  rents,  BJ5 

But  for  our  j)arents'  settlements  ; 

Had  been  but  younger  sons  o'  th'  earth, 

Debarr'd  it  all,  but  for  our  birtli.t 

What  honours,  or  estates  of  peers. 

Could  be  prescrv'd  but  bj'  their  heirs?  840 

And  what  security  maintains 

Their  right  and  title,  but  the  bans? 

What  crowns  could  be  hereditary. 

If  greatest  monarchs  did  not  marry. 

And  with  their  consorts  consunnnate  845 

Their  v/eiglitiest  interests  of  state  ? 

For  all  th'  amours  of  princes  are  ' 

But  guarantees  of  peace  or  war. 

Or  what  but  marriage  has  a  charm. 

The  rage  of  empires  to  disarm  ?  850 

Make  blood  and  desolation  cease. 

And  fire  and  sword  unite  in  peace, 

When  all  their  fierce  contests  for  forage 

Conclude  in  articles  of  marriage  ? 

Nor  does  the  genial  bed  provide  855 

Less  for  the  int'rests  of  the  bride. 

Who  else  had  not  the  least  pretence 

T'  as  much  as  due  benevolence  : 


name.  And  Zenn,  the  fatfier  of  the  stoics,  maintained  that  all 
women  oui;ht  to  be  conuiion,  that  no  words  were  obscene,  and 
no  parts  of  the  hixly  needed  to  be  covered. 

*  i.  6.  such  interconununity  of  women  would  be  productive  of 
the  worst  consequences,  unless  nianliind  wore  already  reduced 
to  the  most  barbarous  state  of  nature,  and  men  become  altogethci 
brutes. 

t  If  there  had  been  no  matrimony,  we  shonld  have  had  no 
provision  made  for  us  by  our  forefathers  ;  but,  like  younger  chil- 
dren of  our  primitive  parent  tbe  earth,  should  have  been  exclu- 
ded from  every  possession.  He  seems  to  rtlfect  obliquely  upon 
the  common  method  of  distributing  the  properties  of  families  so 
much  in  favor  of  the  elder  branches,  the  younger  sons  not  inher 
Iting  the  land. 


Tanto  I.J  IIUDIIJRAS.  341 

Could  no  more  title  lake  upon  her 

To  virtue,  quality,  and  honour,  SfiC 

Than  ladies  errant  unconfin'd, 

And  feinmc-coverts  t'  ail  mankind. 

All  women  would  be  of  one  piece, 

The  virtuous  matron,  and  the  miss  ; 

The  nymi)hs  of  chaste  Diana's  train,  863 

The  same  with  those  in  Lewkner's-lane,* 

But  for  the  diti''rence  marriage  makes 

'Twi.vt  wives  and  ladies  of  the  lakes  :t 

Besides,  the  joys  of  place  and  birth. 

The  se.v's  paradise  on  earth,?  87i 

A  privilege  so  sacred  held, 

That  none  will  to  their  mothers  yield  ; 

But  rather  than  not  go  before, 

Abandon  heaven  at  the  door  :§ 

And  if  th'  indulgent  law  allows  875 

A  greater  freedom  to  the  s])onse, 

The  reason  is,  because  the  wife 

Runs  greater  hazards  of  her  life  ; 

Is  trusted  with  the  form  and  matter 

Of  all  mankind,  by  careful  nature,  880 

Where  man  brings  nothing  but  the  stuff 

fjhe  frames  the  wond'rous  fabric  of  :|| 


*  .V  street  in  the  neighborhood  of  Drury-lane  or  St.  Giles's, 
inhabited  chiefly  liy  strumpets. 

t  Alluding  to  the  old  romance  of  Sir  Lancelot  and  the  Lady 
of  the  Lake.  Mr.  IVurburton.  But  the  corrected  edition  reads 
lakes  in  the  plural  number;  and  perhaps  we  may  look  for  these 
ladies  elsewhere, — in  the  la  /unes  of  Venice,  certain  streets  in 
Westminster,  or  Lambeth  Marsh,  Bankside,  &.c.  &c.  {Lake,  to 
play;  from  the  Gothic  and  Sason,  laikan.  Used  in  the  north  of 
Ergland.  Todd.] 
t  Thus  Mr.  I'ope: 

For  sylph*,  yet  mindful  of  their  ancient  race, 
Are,  as  when  women,  wond'rous  fond  of  place. 
Onr  poet,  though  vindicating  the  ladies  and  the  happy  estate 
of  matrimony,  cannot  help  introducing  this  stroke  of  satire :  Bas- 
tards have  no  place,  or  rank. 

$  That  is,  not  ao  to  church  at  all,  if  they  have  not  their  right 
of  precedence.    Chaucor  says  of  the  wife  of  Bath,  451 : 
In  all  the  parish  wif  ne  was  there  non, 
That  to  the  ortVing  before  hire  shulde  gon, 
And  if  ther  did,  certain  so  wroth  was  she. 
That  she  was  out  of  aile  charitee. 
1  Various  have  been  the  attempts  to  explain  the  mystery  of 
jrcneralion.     Aristotle,  Harvey,  Lewenhoek,  Drake,  and  Bartho- 
line,  have  produced  their  ditferent   hypotheses.     But  from  fur- 
ther discoveries  in  anatomy,  supported  by  the  strictest  analogy 
throughuul  the  animal  acd  vegetable  kingdoms,  it  ajjpears  tlial 


',43  IIL'DIBRAS.  [Part  in. 

Who  therefore,  in  a  strait,  may  freely 

Deinai.d  the  clergy  of  lier  belly,* 

And  make  it  save  iier  (he  same  way,  885 

It  seldom  mit«os  to  betray  ;t 

Unless  both  parlies  wisely  enter 

Into  the  liturgy-indenture. 

And  tho'  some  fits  of  small  contest 

Sometimes  fall  out  among  the  best,  S&O 

That  is  no  more  than  ev'ry  lovei 

Does  from  his  hackney  lady  sufTer  ; 

That  makes  no  breach  of  faith  and  love, 

But  rather,  sometimes,  serves  t'  improve  ;t 

For  as,  ill  running,  ev'ry  pace  895 

Is  but  between  two  legs  a  race, 

In  which  both  do  their  uttermost 

To  get  before,  and  win  the  post ; 

Yet  when  they're  at  their  race's  ends, 

They're  still  as  kind  and  constant  friends,  900 

And,  to  relieve  their  weariness, 

By  turns  give  one  another  ease  ; 

So  all  those  false  alarms  of  strife 

Between  the  husband  and  the  wife. 

And  little  quarrels  often  prove  905 

To  be  but  new  recruits  of  love  ; 

When  those  wlio're  always  kind  or  coy, 

In  time  must  either  tire  or  cloy.§ 


the  female  furnishes  the  germ  or  ovum,  which  is  only  impregna- 
ted by  the  male :  or,  in  the  words  of  Mr.  Hunter,  the  female  pro- 
duces a  seed,  in  which  is  tlic  nmtter  titled  for  the  first  arrange- 
ment of  the  organs  of  the  animal,  and  which  receives  the  prin- 
ciple of  arrangement  fitting  it  fur  action,  from  the  male. 

*  As  benefit  of  clergy  may  be  craved  in  some  cases  of  felony  : 
so  pregnant  women,  who  have  received  sentence  of  death,  may 
demand  or  crave  a  resjjite  from  e.\eculion,  till  after  they  are  de- 
livered. 

t  As  their  big  bellies  betray  their  incontinence,  so  they  some 
times  save  their  lives. 

t         Amantium  irx,  amoris  integratinest. 

Ter.  And.  iii.  sc.iii.23 

In  amore  ha!C  omnia  insunt  vitia  ;  injuri,T, 

Suspiciones,  inimicitiiE,  inducia;, 

Bellum,  pax  rursum.  Id.  Eun.  I.  sc  i.  14. 

$  Coy  seems  to  be  used  in  the  French  sense,  for  quiet,  or  still 
It  has  this  signification  both  in  Chaucer  and  Douglas.  fA  pas 
sago  quoted  by  archdeacon  Nares  under  the  verb  to  coy,  will  ex- 
jslain  Uutler's  meaning: 

And  while  she  coijs  his  sooty  cheeks,  and  curies  his  sweaty  top 
Warner's  Alb.  Engl.  U.  vi.  p.  148. 

Ami  (he  following  line  from  an  old  poem,  "  William  and  thH 


t»NTO  I.]  IIUDIBRA.S.  343 

Nor  are  tlioir  loudest  elunioiirs  more 

Tlinn  as  they're  relisirj,  sweet  or  sour ;  918 

LiUo  music,  that  proves  bad  or  good, 

According  us  "tis  understood. 

In  all  amours  a  lover  burns 

With  frowns,  as  well  us  smiles,  by  turns ; 

And  hearts  have  been  as  oft  with  sulle.",  91S 

As  chaniiing  looks,  surpriz'd  and  stolen 

Then  why  should  more  bewitching  clamour 

Some  lovers  not  as  much  enamour? 

For  discords  make  the  sweetest  airs. 

And  curses  are  a  kind  of  pray'rs  ;  020 

Too  slight  alloys  for  all  those  grand  ' 

Felicities  by  nuirriage  gain'd  : 

For  nothing  else  bus  pow'r  to  settle 

Th'  interests  of  love  perpetual  ; 

An  act  and  deed  that  niukes  one  heart  925 

Become  another's  couuter-jjart. 

And  passes  fines  on  faith  and  love,* 

Inroll'd  and  register"d  above. 

To  seal  the  shppery  knots  of  vows. 

Which  nothing  else  but  death  can  loose.  930 

And  what  security's  too  strong 

To  guard  that  gentle  heart  from  wrong, 

That  to  its  friend  is  glad  to  pass 

Itself  away,  and  all  it  has. 

And,  like  an  ancliorite,  gives  over  935 

This  world,  for  th'  lieav'a  of  a  lover  ?+ 

I  grant,  quoth  she,  there  are  some  few 
Who  take  that  course,  and  find  it  true  ; 
But  millions,  whom  the  same  does  sentence 
To  lieav'n  b'  another  way,  repentance.  940 

Love's  arrows  are  but  shot  at  rovers, t 
Tho'  all  they  hit  they  turn  to  lovers, 
And  all  the  weighty  consequents 
Depend  upon  more  blind  events 

Than  gamesters  when  they  |)lay  a  set,  945 

With  greatest  cunning,  at  piquet 


Werwolf,"  m.Ty  be  interesting  on  a  word  that  has  been  used  in 
Buch  opposite  senses  : 

Jlcoycd  it  [a  child]  to  cnmc  Id  liim  iiiid  clcjuid  it  oft.] 

*  Tliiit  is,  makes  them  irrevocable,  anil  secures  the  litle;  as 
^assini;  a  line  in  law  does  a  conveyance  or  settlement. 

t  Mr.  Duller,  1  hope,  has  now  iTiade  amends  lor  his  former  in- 
civility In  this  speech  ihe  knisilit  has  defend'ul  the  ladies,  and 
the  married  suilc,  will)  jireal  gallantry,  wit,  and  good  sense. 

\  That  is,  shot  at  random,  passim,  temere. 


344  IIUUIBRAS.  [Part  m 

Put  out  Witli  caution,  but  take  in 

They  know  not  what,  unsight,  unseen. 

For  what  do  lovers,  when  they're  ^ast 

In  one  anotlier'h  arms  enibiac'd,  050 

But  strive  to  plunder,  and  convey 

Each  other,  like  a  prize,  away  ?* 

To  change  the  property  of  selves, 

As  sucking  children  are  by  elves? 

And  if  they  use  their  persons  so,  953 

What  will  they  to  their  fortunes  do? 

Their  fortunes  I  the  perpetual  aims 

Of  all  their  extacies  and  flames. 

For  when  the  money's  on  the  book, 

And  "  all  my  worldly  goods" — but  spoke,+  960 

The  formal  livery  and  seishi 

That  puts  a  lover  in  possession  ; 

To  that  alone  the  bridegroom's  wedded, 

The  bride  a  flam  that's  superseded  ; 

To  that  their  faith  is  still  made  good,  965 

And  all  the  oaths  to  us  they  vow'd  ; 

J'or  when  we  once  resign  our  pow'rs, 

We  'vo  nothing  left  we  can  call  ours : 

Our  money's  now  become  the  miss 

Of  all  your  lives  and  services  ;  970 

And  we  forsaken  and  postpon'd, 

But  bawds  to  what  before  we  own'd  ;t 

Which,  as  it  made  y'  at  first  gallant  us, 

So  now  hires  others  to  supplant  us, 

Until  'tis  all  turn'd  out  of  doors,  975 

As  we  had  been,  for  new  amours. 

For  what  did  ever  heiress  yet. 

By  being  born  to  lordsliips  get  ? 

When  the  more  lady  she's  of  manore, 

She's  but  expos'd  to  more  trepanners,  980 

Pays  for  tlieir  projects  and  designs. 

And  for  her  own  destruction  fines  ; 

And  does  but  tempt  them  with  her  riches, 

To  use  her  as  the  dev'l  does  witches, 


*  Uus  me  surpiierat  niihi.  Hor.  lib.  iv.  od.  13. 

But  such  writers  :is  Petronius  best  explain  the  spirit  of  this 
jiissage,  were  it  fit  to  be  e.vplained.  Traiisfiidiiuus  liinc  et  hiuc 
iibfillis  errantes  aniirias. 

t  Alluding  to  tlie  fiirm  of  marriage  in  the  eonnnnn  prayer- 
>oi)k,  where  the  lee  is  directed  to  be  put  upon  the  book,  and  the 
bridegrodiu  endows  the  bride  with  all  his  worldly  goods. 

i  That  is.  are  procurers  of  the  Miss,  our  money,  which  W2 
before  ownea. 


Canto  i.l  IIUDIRRAS.  Sia 

Who  takes  it  for  a  special  grace,  3S« 

To  Ivi  tlieir  cully  for  a  space, 

Tiiat,  when  the  time's  cxpirM,  the  drazels* 

For  ever  may  become  liis  vassals  • 

80  she,  bewilcli'd  by  rooks  and  s]);rits, 

IJetrays  herself,  and  ail  sh'  inherits  ;  99C 

Is  boujrht  and  sold,  like  stolen  goods, 

By  pimps,  and  matcli-makcrs,  and  bawds  ; 

Until  they  force  her  to  convey 

And  steal  the  thief  himself  away. 

These  are  the  everlasting  fruits  99f 

Of  all  your  passionate  love-suits, 

Th'  effects  of  all  your  am'rous  fancies, 

To  jiortious  and  inheritances  ; 

Yotn-  Icve-sick  raptures  for  fruition 

Of  dowry,  jointure,  and  tuition  ;  1006 

To  which  you  make  address  and  conrtsliij*, 

And  with  your  bodies  strive  to  worship. 

That  tir  intanl's  fortunes  may  partake 

Of  lovo  too,t  for  the  mother's  sake. 

For  these  you  ])lay  at  pnrjjoses,  1005 

And  love  your  loves  with  \'s  and  B's  ; 

For  these,  at  Beste  and  I'Ombre  woo, 

And  |)lay  for  love  and  money  too  ;t 

Strive  who  shall  be  the  ablest  man 

At  right  gallanting  of  a  fan  ;  1010 


*  The  mean,  low  wretches,  nr  drapgle-tails.  Drazels,  I  be- 
lieve, means  vagrants,  from  an  old  French  word.draselcr,  a  vaga- 
hond  ;  draser,  the  same  as  vauner:  the  words  sianilV  Ihe  same  in 
Dutch.    Thjs  Wiirner,  in  his  Alhion's  England : 

Now  does  each  drazel  in  her  glass,  when  I  was  yonng  I  wot, 
On  holydays  (for  seldom  else)  such  idle  time  was  got. 

[DrascUr\^  not  to  he  found  in  Roquefort,  Fiirelicrre,  nnr  Rich 
eiet,  nor  is  it  in  the  Dutch  Dictionaries  of  llaima  nor  VViiickcl 
man  ;  but  Jras,  in  Dutch,  is  mud  ;  and  as  Grose  explains  draiil, 
a  dirty  slut,  and  gives  the  word  to  the  southern  part  of  England, 
the  Dutcli  language  may  have  in  this  case  enriched  our  vocabu- 
lary, and  we  need  not  go  with  Todd  and  Narcs  to  drotchcll  and 
irostei.] 

t  That  is,  the  widow's  children  by  a  former  hu«band,  that  are 
under  ace,  t.)  whom  tlie  lover  would  be  glad  to  be  guardian,  aa 
well  as  have  the  managcnient  of  the  jointtire. 

X  The  widow,  in  these  and  the  following  lines,  gives  no  bad 
sketch  of  a  person  who  endeavors  to  retrieve  his  circumstances 
by  marriage,  and  practises  every  method  in  his  power  to  recom- 
mend himself  to  liis  rich  mistress:  he  plays  with  her  at  ques- 
tions and  commands,  endeavors  to  divert  her  with  cards,  puts 
himself  in  nia-(|iierade,  flirts  her  fan,  talks  of  flames  and  darts, 
aches  and  sufferings  ;  which  last,  tlie  poet  intimates,  might  mora 
Histly  be  attributed  to  other  causes. 


346  ilUDlBRAS.  [Part  ni 

And  who  llie  most  genteelly  bred 

At  sucking  ol'  a  vizard-bead  ;* 

How  best  t'  accost  us  in  all  quarters, 

T'  our  question  and  command  new  garters  ;t 

And  soLd'y  discourse  upon  101 S 

All  sorts  of  dres.-es  pro  and  con  : 

For  there's  no  mystery  nor  trade, 

But  in  the  art  of  love  is  made  ;I 

And  when  you  have  more  debts  to  pay 

Than  Michaehnas  and  Lady-day, §  1020 

And  no  v/ay  possible  to  do  "t 

But  love  and  oaths,  and  restless  suit. 

To  us  y'  apply,  to  pay  the  scores 

Of  all  your  ciilly"d  past  amours  ; 

Act  o'er  your  flames  and  darts  again,  .023 

And  charge  us  with  your  wounds  and  pain  ; 

Whicli  other's  influences  long  since 

Have  charm'd  your  noses  with,  and  shins  , 

For  which  the  surgeon  is  unpaid, 

And  like  to  be,  without  our  aid.  1030 

Lord  !  what  an  am'rous  thing  is  want ! 

How  debts  and  mortgages  enchant ! 

What  graces  mnst  that  lady  have. 

That  can  from  executions  save  ! 

What  charms,  that  can  reverse  extent,  10J5 

And  null  decree  and  exigent ! 

What  magical  attracts,  and  graces, 

That  can  redeem  from  scire  facias  :|| 

From  bonds  and  statutes  can  discharge. 


*  Masks  were  kppt  close  to  the  fice,  by  a  bead  fixed  to  the  in- 
side of  ihein,  and  held  in  the  mouth. 

t  At  the  viilgitr  play  of  iiuestions  and  commands,  a  forfeiture 
often  was  In  takeoff  a  lady's  garter :  expectinji  this  therefore  the 
lady  provided  herself  with  new  ones.  Or  she  might  be  cnni- 
inanded  lo  make  the  gentleman  a  present  of  a  pair  of  new 
garters. 

}  That  is,  made  use  of.  or  practised. 

^  These  are  the  two  principil  r.nt-days  in  the  year:  unpleas- 
ant days  to  the  tenant,  and  not  satisfactory  to  the  landlord,  when 
liis  debts  exceed  his  rents. 

II  Here  the  poet  shows  )iis  knowledge  of  the  law,  and  law 
terms,  which  he  always  uses  with  great  propriety.  Execution  i.' 
obtaining  pus^essiun  of  any  Ibin^  recovered  by  judgment  of  l.iw. 
Krtcnt,  the  estimate  of  lands  to  their  utmost  v.ilue  by  the 
shcnrt"  and  jury,  in  order  to  satisfy  a  bond,  nr  other  engagement 
forfeited.  Ktiircnt  is  a  writ  requiring  a  person  to  appear;  it  lies 
where  the  defb-ndmt  in  an  action  personal  cannot  be  found,  or 
any  thing  in  the  coiuuy.  whereby  he  may  be  distrained.  Scirt 
^acins,  a  writ  to  show  cause  why  execution  of  judgment  should 
nut  go  out 


<?«NTOi.]  IIUDIBRAS.  341 

And  from  contempts  of  courts  enlarge!  lOiP 

These  are  tlio  Iiijjhest  excellencies 

Of  all  your  true  or  false  pretences  ; 

And  you  would  damn  yourselves,  and  swear 

As  much  t'  an  hostess  dowager, 

Grown  fat  and  pursy  by  retail  104J 

0[  pots  of  beer  and  bottled  ale, 

And,  find  her  fitter  for  your  turn, 

For  fat  is  wondrous  apt  to  burn  : 

Who  at  your  flames  would  soon  take  fire, 

Relent,  and  melt  to  your  desire,  1051 

And  like  a  candle  Ai  the  socket, 

Dissolve  her  graces  int'  j'onr  pocket. 

By  this  time  'twas  grown  dark  and  late, 
When  til'  heard  a  knocking  at  the  gaU 
Laid  on  in  haste,  with  such  a  powder, '  105£ 

The  blows  grew  louder  still  and  louder: 
Which  Iludibras,  as  if  they  'ad  been 
Bestow'd  as  freely  on  his  skin, 
Exjwunding  by  his  inward  light. 

Or  rather  more  jjrophctic  fright,  1060 

To  be  the  wizard,  come  to  search, 
And  take  him  napping  in  the  lurch, 
Turn'd  pale  as  ashes,  or  a  clout ; 
But  why,  or  wherefore,  is  a  doubt : 
For  men.  will  tremble,  and  turn  paler,  10G5 

With  too  much,  or  too  little  A'ulour. 
His  heart  laid  on,  as  if  it  try'd 
To  force  a  passage  through  his  side,* 
Impatient,  as  he  vow'd,  to  wait  'em. 
But  in  a  fury  to  fly  at  'em  ;  1070 

And  therefore  beat,  and  laid  about, 
To  find  a  cranny  to  creep  out. 
But  she,  who  saw  in  what  a  taking 
The  Kniglit  was  by  his  furious  quaking. 
Undaunted  cry'd.  Courage,  sir  Knight,  1075 

Know  I'm  resolv'd  to  break  nc  rile 
Of  hospitality  t'  a  stranger  ; 
But,  to  secure  you  out  of  danger, 
\Vill  here  myself  stand  sentinel. 

To  guard  this  pass  'gainst  Sidrophel  :  lOBC 

Women,  you  know,  do  seldom  fail 
To  make  the  stoutest  men  turn  tail, 
And  bravely  scorn  to  turn  their  backs, 
Upon  the  desp'ratest  attacks. 

*  'ExTopl  t'  airui  Ov/Jis  in  ^tjQtaai  -ndTacatv.     II.  vii   216< 


348  IIUDIBRAS.  \PkKr  id 

At  tliis  the  Knight  grew  resolute,  J08i 

As  Ironside,  or  Hard.knute  :* 

His  fortitude  began  to  rally, 

And  out  he  cry'd  aloud,  to  sally ; 

But  she  besought  him  to  convey 

His  courage  rather  out  o'  111'  way,  1001) 

And  lodge  in  ambush  on  the  floor. 

Or  fortify'd  behind  a  door, 

That,  if  the  enemy  should  enter. 

He  might  relieve  licr  in  tli'  adventure. 

Meanwhile  they  knock'd  against  the  doo  ,         1095 
As  fierce  as  at  the  gate  before ; 
Which  made  the  renegado  Knight 
Relapse  again  t'  his  former  fright. 
He  thought  it  desperate  to  stay 

Till  111'  enemy  had  forc'd  his  way,  UOO 

But  ratlier  post  himself,  to  serve 
The  lady  for  a  fresh  reserve. 
His  duty  was  not  to  dispute, 
But  what  she  'ad  order'd  execute  ; 
Which  he  resolv'd  in  haste  t'  obey,  1105 

And  therefore  stoutly  march'd  away, 
And  all  h'  encounter'd  fell  upon, 
Tho'  in  the  dark,  and  all  alone  ; 
Till  fear,  that  braver  feats  performs 
Than  ever  courage  dar'd  in  arms,  1110 

Had  drawn  him  up  before  a  pass, 
To  stand  upon  his  guard,  and  face  ; 
This  he  courageously  invaded, 
And,  having  enter'd,  barricado'd  ; 
Ensconc'd  himself  as  formidable  IIU 

As  could  be  underneath  a  table  ; 
Where  he  lay  down  in  ambush  close, 
T'  expect  tlv  arrival  of  his  foes. 
Few  minutes  he  had  lain  perdue. 
To  guard  his  desp'rute  avenue,  1120 

Before  he  heard  a  dreadfid  shout, 
As  loud  as  putting  to  the  rout. 
With  which  impatiently  alarm'd, 
He  fancy'd  th'  enemy  had  storm'd. 
And  aft(^r  ent'ring,  8idro])hel  1125 

Was  fall'n  upon  the  guards  pellmeli  ; 
He  therefore  sent  out  all  his  senses 
To  bring  him  in  intelligences, 


*  Two  prnces  celebrated  for  Iheir  valor  in  our  liislories.    Th« 
Drmer  \i\u6  about  the  year  lOJO,  the  latler  1037. 


i-ANTO  I.]  IIUUIBRAS.  349 

Which  viiljrars,  out  of  ignorance, 

Mistake  for  fulling  in  a  trance  ;  113t 

But  those  that  trade  in  geotnancy,* 

Adirin  to  be  the  strength  M'  fancy  ; 

In  which  the  Lapland  magi  deal, 

And  things  incredible  reveal. 

Mean  while  the  foe  beat  up  iiis  quarters,  1133 

And  storni'd  the  outworks  of  his  fortress  ; 

And  as  another  of  the  same 

Degree  and  parly,  in  arms  and  fame. 

Tliat  in  the  same  cause  iiad  engag'd. 

And  war  with  equal  conduct  wag'd,  1140 

By  vent'ring  only  but  to  thrust 

His  head  a  spun  beyond  his  post, 

B'  a  gen'ral  of  the  cavaliers 

Was  dragg'd  tliro'  a  window  by  the  ears  :t 

So  he  was  serv'd  in  his  redoubt,  tliS 

And  by  the  other  end  puU'd  out. 

Soon  as  they  had  liim  at  their  mercy, 
They  put  him  to  the  cudgel  fiercely. 
As  if  tliey  scorn'd  to  trade  and  barter, t 
By  giving,  or  by  taking  quarter:  1150 

They  stoutly  on  his  quarters  laid. 
Until  iiis  scouts  came  in  t'  iiis  aid  :§ 
For  when  a  man  is  past  his  sense. 
There's  no  way  to  reduce  him  thence. 
But  twinging  him  by  th'  ears  or  nose,  1155 

Or  laying  on  of  heavy  blows  : 

*  A  sortofdivin.-ition  by  clel'is  or  chinks  in  tlie  ground.  Poly- 
dorc  Viri;il  'le  niveiitione  reruni,  supposes  it  to  liMve  been  invent- 
ed by  llie  iiiajii  of  Persi.a. 

t  A  right  honiiril)le  gentleman  of  higli  character,*  now  living, 
assured  me  that  this  circumstance  happened  to  one  of  his  rela- 
tions, Sir  Uichard  (Ilr.  Grey  culls  hfm  Sir  Erasmus)  Philips,  of 
Picton  castle,  in  Pembrokeshire.  The  Cavaliers,  commanded  by 
Colonel  F.gc'rion,  attacked  this  place,  and  demanded  a  parley. 
Sir  Uichard  consented;  anil  being  a  little  man,  stepped  upon  a 
bench,  and  showed  liimself  at  one  of  the  windows.  'l"he  Colonel, 
who  was  high  in  stature,  sat  on  horseback  underneath  ;  and 
pretending  to  be  deaf,  ilesircd  the  other  to  come  as  near  him  as 
he  could.  Sir  Richard  then  leaned  a  good  deal  from  the  win- 
dow;  when  the  Colonel  seized  him  by  the  ears,  and  drew  him 
out.     Soon  after,  the  caslle  surrendered. 

t  Pyrrhus  suyii  to  the  Romans,  from  Ennius,  in  Tully.<»OiB- 
tes : 

Ncc  mi  aurum  posco,  nee  rui  prrtiiuu  dcderitis ; 
Nee  cau|K>nantes  helium,  seil  lielligerantes, 
Ferro,  non  auro  vitam  cernamus  uirique. 

(  1  e.  till  his  senses  returned. 

*  Earl  of  Orfonl 


J50  IILUIBRAS.  rrARTiti 

And  if  that  will  not  do  the  deed, 
To  burning  with  hot  irons  proceed. 

No  sooner  was  he  come  t'  himself 
But  on  his  neck  a  sturdy  elf  IIW 

Clapp'd  in  a  trice  his  cloven  hoof, 
And  thus  attuck'd  him  with  reproof. 

Mortal,  thou  art  betray'd  to  us 
B'  our  friend,  thy  evil  genius, 

Who  for  thy  horrid  perjuries,  «16a 

Thy  breach  of  faith,  and  turning  lies. 
The  brethren's  privilege,  against 
The  wicked,  oa  themselves,  the  saints, 
Has  here  thy  wretched  carcass  sent, 
For  just  revenge  and  punishment  ;  1170 

Which  thou  hast  now  no  way  to  lessen, 
But  by  an  open,  free  confession  :* 
For  if  we  catch  thee  failing  once, 
'Twill  fall  the  heavier  on  thy  bones. 

W'hat  made  thee  venture  to  betray,  1175 

And  filch  the  lady's  heart  away. 
To  spirit  her  to  matrimony? — 

That  which  contracts  all  matches,  money 
It  was  th'  enchantment  of  her  riches. 
That  made  m'  apply  t'  your  crony  witches  ;t        IISC 
That  in  return  would  pay  th'  expence, 
The  wear  and  tear  of  conscience, t 


*  This  scene  is  imitated,  Irat  with  much  less  wit  and  learn 
!ng,  in  a  poem  called  Dunstible  Down^,  f:ilsely  attributed  to  Mr 
Banmel  Butler.  Pee  the  third  volume  of  the  Kemains.  In  thai 
poem,  whoever  was  the  author,  the  allusion  to  the  high  cour* 
of  justice,  and  trial  of  Charles  the  First,  is  apposite.  See  Brad 
shaW  s  speech  to  the  king  : 

This  court  is  independent  on 
All  form-',  and  methods,  hut  its  own. 
And  will  not  be  directed  by 
The  persons  they  intend  to  try. 
And  I  must  tell  you.  you're  mist-ikcn, 
If  you  propose  to  save  your  bacon. 
By  pleadins  to  your  jurisdiction, 
Whicli  will  admit  of  no  restriction. 
Here's  no  appeal,  nnr  no  demurrer. 
Nor  after  judument  writ  of  error. 
If  you  persist  to  quirk  or  quibble. 
And  on  your  terms  of  law  to  nibble, 
The  court's  determin'd  to  proceed, 
Whether  you  do,  or  do  not  plead. 

T  Your  old  friends  and  companions 

%  The  knight  confesses  that  he  would  have  sacrificed  hlscon- 
tctaoce  to  money.    lu  reality,  he  had  gotten  rid  of  it  long  before 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  35J 

Whicli  I  conid  Ikivo  patcliM  up,  and  (iiiu'd, 
For  tir  hiiiHlrcdtli  i)iut  of  wliat  I  carn'd. 

Didst  thou  not  lovo  lior  tlioii?     Speak  true.      1185 
No  more,  quotli  he,  tlian  I  lovo  you. — 

How  would'st  thou've  us'd  lier,  and  her  money  ? 
First  tnrn'd  her  up  to  alimony,* 
And  laid  licr  dowry  out  m  law. 

To  null  her  jointure  with  a  flaw,  1190 

Which  I  beforehand  had  agreed 
T'  have  put,  on  purpose,  in  the  deed, 
And  bar  her  widow's-making-over 
T'  a  friend  in  trust,  or  private  lover. 

What  made  thee  pick  and  chnse  her  out  1195 

T'  employ  their  sorceries  about? — 

That  which  makes  gamesters  play  with  lliosa 
Who  have  least  wit,  and  most  to  lose. 

But  didst  thou  scourge  thy  vessel  tlius. 
As  thou  hast  damn'd  thyself  to  us  ? —  1200 

I  see  you  take  me  for  an  ass : 
'Tis  true,  I  thought  the  trick  would  pass, 
U])on  a  woman,  well  enough. 
As  't  has  been  often  found  by  proof. 
Whose  liumours  are  not  to  be  won  1205 

But  when  they  are  impos'd  upon  ; 
For  love  approves  of  all  they  do 
That  stand  for  candidates,  and  woo. 

Why  didst  thou  forge  those  shameful  lies 
Of  bears  and  witches  in  disguise  ? —  1210 

That  is  no  more  than  authors  give 
The  rabble  credit  to  believe  ; 
A  trick  of  following  the  leaders, 
To  entertain  their  gentle  readers  ; 
And  we  have  now  no  other  way  131S 

Of  passing  all  we  do  or  say  ; 
Which,  when  'tis  natural  and  true. 
Will  be  belicv'd  b'  a  very  few, 
Beside  the  danger  of  offence. 
The  fatal  enemy  of  sense.  laSjO 

Why  dost  thou  chuse  thai  cursed  sin, 
Ilyjwcrisy,  to  set  up  in  ? — 

Because  it  is  the  thriving'st  calling, 
The  only  saints'  bell  that  rings  all  in  ;t  ,i 

•  To  provide  fur  hers-elf,  as  horses  do  when  ihey  arc  turned  to 
irass.  i'he  poet  ini^ht  possilily  ile-ifiii  a  jcii  de  mot.  Alimony 
Is  a  septnte  maintenance  paid  liy  the  husband  to  the  wife, 
where  she  is  not  convicted  of  a<hillery. 

t  The  small  hell,  which  rings  immediately  before  the  minlstei 
.SO 


^i(52  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  m 

In  wliicli  all  churches  are  conceru'd,  1'22-' 

And  is  the  easiest  to  be  learn'd  : 

For  no  degrees,  unless  tli'  employ  it, 

Can  ever  gain  nnich,  or  enjoy  it. 

A  gift  that  ia  not  only  able 

To  domineer  among  the  rabble,  123ii 

But  by  the  laws  empower'd  to  rout, 

And  awe  the  greatest  that  stand  out  ; 

Which  few  hold  forth  against,  for  fear 

Their  hands  should  slip,  and  come  too  near 

For  no  sin  else,  among  the  saints,  "  235 

Is  taught  so  tenderly  against. 

What  made  thee  break  thy  plighted  vows  ?— 
That  which  makes  others  break  a  house, 
And  hang,  and  scorn  ye  all.  before 
Endure  the  plague  of  being  poor*  12-10 

Quoth  he,  I  see  you  have  more  tricks 
Than  all  your  doating  politics. 
That  are  grown  old  and  out  of  fashion. 
Compared  with  your  new  reformation; 
That  we  must  come  to  school  to  you,  1245 

To  learn  your  more  refin'd  and  new. 

Quoth  he.  If  you  will  give  me  leave 
To  tell  you  what  I  now  perceive. 
You'll  find  yourself  an  arrant  chouse 
If  y'  w-ere  but  at  a  meeting-house:  J250 

'Tis  true,  quoth  he,  we  ne'er  come  there. 
Because  w'  have  let  'm  out  by  th'  year.1 

Truly,  quoth  be,  you  can't  imagine 
What  woud'rous  things  they  will  engage  in  ; 
That  as  your  fellow  fiends  in  hell  1255 

Were  angels  all  before  they  fell. 
So  are  you  like  to  be  agen, 
Compar'd  with  th'  angels  of  us  men.t 


begins  the  church  service,  is  called  the  saints'  licll ;  and  when 
the  clerk  has  rung  this  bell,  he  says,  "he  has  rung  all  in." 

*  Scorii.  that  is,  defy  your  law  and  puaishinenL 

t  The  devils  are  here  locked  upon  as  landlords  of  Ihe  meeting 
houses,  since  the  tenants  of  iheni  were  known  to  be  so  dialiolical, 
and  to  hold  theni  bj  no  pood  title;  but  as  it  v.-a.s  uncertain  how 
long  these  lawle-s  times  would  last,  tlie  poet  makes  the  devil 
let  them  only  by  tlie  year:  now  when  any  thing  is  actually  let, 
wu  landlords  never  come  there,  that  is,  have  excluded  ourselves 
fiom  all  riL'lit  to  the  premises. 

1  1  remember  an  old  attorney,  who  told  me,  a  little  before  his 
death,  that  he  had  been  reckoned  a  very  great  rascal,  and  be- 
lieved he  was  so,  for  he  had  done  many  roguish  and  Infamous 
a»ings  in  his  profession  :  "  but,"  adds  he,  "  by  what  I  can  observe 

of  the  rising  geuention,  ihe  time  may  come,  and  yuu  may  live 


Cakto  1.1  IIUDIBRAS.  353 

Quoth  lie,  I  am  resolv'd  to  bo 
Tliy  scliolur  in  tl„s  mystery  ;  1200 

And  tlierclbie  first  desire  to  know 
Some  principles  on  which  you  go. 

What  makes  a  knave  a  child  of  God,* 
And  one  of  us?t — A  livelihood. 

What  renders  beating  out  of  brains,  126! 

And  murder,  godliness? — Great  gains. 

What's  tender  conscience  ? — 'Tis  a  botch 
That  will  not  bear  the  gentlest  touch ; 
But,  breaking  out,  dispatches  more 
Than  tii'  cpideinical'st  plague-sore. t  1270 

What  makes  y'  encroach  upon  our  trade, 
And  damn  all  others  ? — To  bo  paid. 

What's  orthodox  and  true  believing 
Against  a  conscience? — A  good  living.9 

Wliat  makes  rebelling  against  kings  1275 

A  good  old  cause? — Adininist'rings.|| 

What  makes  all  doctrines  plain  and  clear? — 
About  two  hundred  jjounds  a  year. 

And  that  which  was  prov'd  true  before, 
Prov'd  false  again? — Two  hundred  more.  1280 

What  makes  the  breaking  of  all  oaths 
A  holy  duty? — Food  and  clothes. 

What  laws  and  freedom,  persecution? — 
B'ing  out  of  power,  and  contribution. 

What  makes  a  church  a  den  of  thieves? —        1285 


"to  see  it,  when  I  shall  be  acc-<nintp(i  a  very  honest  man,  in 
"  CDiiiparison  willi  Ihusc  attorneys  who  are  to  succeed  nie." 

*  A  lianter  on  the  paiuphlots  in  tliose  clays,  under  the  name 
and  form  of  catecliisms:  Hcylin's  Rebel's  CalechiMn,  VVatson's 
Cavalier  Catechism,  Ham's  Soldier's  Catechism,  Parker's  Political 
Cutecliism,  &c.  &c. 

t  Both  Presbyterians  and  Independents  were  fond  of  saying 
one  nf  us  ;  that  is,  one  of  the  holy  brethren,  the  elect  niiiiibcr, 
the  godly  party. 

;  .Mliidiii!;  10  the  plague,  of  which,  in  our  author's  time,  vis. 
in  lGt).>,  died  (iH.JCiO  persons,  within  the  bills  of  iiKirlalily. 

^  A  commiuee  was  appointed  Xovcmber  II,  IWti.  lo  inquire 
into  the  value  of  all  church  livinus,  in  or<ler  to  plant  an  able 
ministry,  as  was  pretended  ;  but,  la  truth,  to  discover  the  best 
and  fattest  lienelices,  that  the  champions  for  the  cause  might 
choose  for  llieiiisclves.  Whereof  some  had  three  or  foiir.vpiece  : 
a  lack  being  prcleniled  of  competent  pastors.  When  a  living 
was  small,  the  church  doors  were  shut  ui).  Diigdale's  Short 
View.  ••  I  could  name  an  assembly-man,"  says  Sir  William 
DuL'dale,  '•  who  bein^  told  by  an  eminent  person,  that  a  certain 

church  had  no  incuiiibenl,  inquired  the  value  of  it;  and  re 

ceiving  for  answer  that  il  was  about  X.)0  a  year,  he  said,  "If 
'  '  lie  no  better  worth,  no  godly  man  will  accej)!  it.'  " 

II  — Adiiilnisterings,    See  P.  iii.  c.  ii.  v.  55. 


><54  IIUDIBRAS.  [Fart  in 

A.  (lean  and  chapter,  and  wliite  sleeves.* 

And  what  wouM  serve,  if  those  were  gone, 
To  make  it  orthoaox  ? — Our  own. 

Wliat  makes  morality  a  crime, t 
The  most  notorious  of  the  time  ;  1S90 

Morality,  wliich  both  the  saints 
And  wicked  too  cry  out  against? — 

'Cause  grace  and  virtue  are  within 
Prohibited  degrees  of  kin  ; 

And  therefore  no  true  saint  allows  12U3 

They  shall  be  sutTer'd  to  espouse : 
For  saints  can  need  no  conscience, 
That  with  morality  dispense  ; 
As  virtue's  impious,  when  'tis  rooted 
In  nature  only,  and  not  irtiputed:  1300 

But  why  the  wicked  should  do  so. 
We  neither  know,  nor  care  to  do.t 

What's  liberty  of  conscience, 
I'  th'  natural  and  genuine  sense  ? — 

'Tis  to  restore,  with  more  security,  1305 

Rebellion  to  its  ancient  purity  ; 
And  Christian  liberty  reduce 
To  th'  elder  practice  of  tlie  Jews  ; 
For  a  large  conscience  is  all  one, 
And  signifies  the  same  with  none.§  1310 

It  is  enough,  quoth  he,  for  once. 
And  has  repriev'd  thy  forfeit  bones : 
Nick  IVIachiavel  had  ne'er  a  trick, 
The'  he  gave  hia  name  to  our  old  Nick,|l 

*  That  is,  a  bishop  wlio  wears  lawn  sleeves. 

t  Moriil  goodness  was  deemed  a  mean  attainment,  and  much 
lieneath  the  cliaracter  of  saints,  who  held  grace  and  inspiralioD 
to  be  all  merilorioiis.  and  virtue  to  have  no  merit:  nay,  some 
even  thought  viruie  impious,  when  it  is  rotiied  only  in  nature, 
and  not  imputed  ;  some  of  ilie  modern  sects  are  supposed  to  hold 
tenets  not  very  unlike  to  this. 

t  The  author  shows  his  abhorrenceof  vice,  in  whatever  party 
it  was  found,  by  satirizing  the  loose  principles  of  the  cavaliers. 

$  It  is  reported  of  .liKhe  Jclierys,  that  taking  a  dislike  to  a 
witness  who  had  a  long  beard,  he  told  him  lint,  "if  his  con 
"  science  was  as  long  as  liis  beard,  he  had  a  swinging  one  :"  to 
which  the  conntryman  replied,  "My  lord,  if  you  measure  con 
"science  by  beards,  you  yourself  have  none  al  all." 

II  Macliiavel  was  recorder  of  Florence  In  the  Jiith  century,  an 
eminent  historian,  and  con->uniiinte  politician.  In  a  iu)teon  the 
Merry  Wives  of  VVind-cjr.  .inil  in  Dr.  Grey's  edition  of  liiidibnts, 
Mr  Warburlon  has  altered  this  passage.     He  reads  the  last  line* 

Though  he  gave  aim  to  our  old  Nick. 
But  as  ,nll  the  editions  published  by  the  author  himself,  or  in  the 
iBthor's  lifetime,  have  tlie  word  7iame,  I  am  unwilling  to  chnnge 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIBRAS.  355 

But  was  below  the  least  of  tlirse,  131  j 

That  pass  i'  th'  world,  for  holiness. 

Tills  said,  the  furies  and  the  light 
111  fir  instant  vanisli'd  out  of  sight. 
And  left  him  in  the  dark  alone. 
With  slinks  of  brimstone  and  his  own.  132C 

The  queen  of  night,  whose  large  command 
Rules  all  the  sea,  and  half  the  land,* 
And  over  moist  and  crazy  brains. 
In  high  spring-tides,  at  midnighl  reigtis,t 
Was  now  declining  to  the  west,  1325 

To  go  to  bed  and  take  her  rest  ;t 
When  Iludibras,  whose  stubborn  blows 
Deiiy'd  his  bones  that  soft  repose, § 
Lay  still  expecting  worse  and  more, 
Siretch'd  out  at  length  upon  the  floor;  J  <3C 

And  tho'  he  shut  his  eyes  as  fast 
As  if  he  'ad  been  to  sleep  his  last, 
Saw  all  the  shapes  that  fear  or  wizards, 


U.  Mr.  Ruder,  who  seems  well  versed  in  the  Saxon  and  north- 
ern etyiuoliipies,  could  not  he  ignoriint  that  the  terms  nicka, 
nocca,  nicken,  and  I'nini  tlienre  the  English,  old  nick,  were  used 
to  sijtnify  the  devil,  lonp  hefcire  the  lime  of  RIacliiavel.  A  ma- 
lignant spirit  is  named  old  nicka.  in  Sir  William  Temple's  Essay 
on  Poetry.  [JVecken,  da-mon  aquaticus.  Dan.  nicken,  nocken. 
Gex\\\.  nicks,  h.  Q.  nocca.  Isi.  niViur.  Angl.  7iu&.  Bels.  jiecAcr. 
I'utalur  in  Huviis  et  lacubus  residere,  et  natiinti'S  i)er  pedes  ar- 
replos  ad  se  perlrahere. — Ihre  Gloss.  Sningnthitiim.]  When 
.Machiavel  is  represented  as  such  a  prolicient  in  wickedness, 
that  his  name  hath  become  no  unworthy,  appellation  for  the 
devil  iiimseir,  we  are  not  less  entertained  l>y  the  smartness  ot' 
the  sentiment,  than  we  should  be  if  it  were  firndy  supported 
by  the  truth  ot  history.  In  the  second  canto,  Empedodes  is 
Slid  to  have  been  acquainted  with  the  writings  of  Alexander 
Rdss,  who  did  not  live  till  almut  2000  years  alter  him.  A  hu 
innrnus  kind  of  wit,  in  which  the  droll  genius  of  Butler  docs  not 
scruple  to  imlulge  itself. 

*  The  moon,  which  influences  the  tides  and  motions  of  the 
sea,  and  hall  inankind,  who  are  lunatic,  more  or  less. 

iiwnr  terram  potius  quam  mare  luna  resit. 

Owen.  Epig.  90. 

The  poem  had  now  occupied  two  days,  and  almost  two  nights 
t  Insane  persons  are  supposed  to  be  worst  at  the  change  and 

lill  of  iho  moon,  when  the  tides  are  highest. 
t  He  liJid  before  described  the  approich  of  day  by  the  rising 

sf  ibe  Sim:  he  now  employs  the  setting  of  the   moon  for  thai 

purpose. 

5         I.enibant  cnras.  et  corda  oblita  labnrum. 

-At  non  infclix  aninii  IMicpnissa  ;  neque  unqnam 
Solvilur  in  snnmos,  oculisve  aut  peclore  norlem 
Accipit .  ingeminant  curie  j'Eneid.  iv.  538 


356  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  iu 

Do  make  tlie  devil  wear  for  vizards,* 

And  pricliiug  up  his  cars,  lo  iiark  .335 

If  lie  could  hear,  too,  in  the  dark. 

Was  first  invaded  with  a  groan 

And  after,  in  a  feeble  tone. 

These  trembling  words :  Unhappy  wretch; 

What  hast  thou  gotten  by  this  fetch,  1340 

Or  all  thy  tricks,  in  this  new  trade. 

Thy  holy  brotherhood  o'  th'  blade  ?t 

By  saunlring  still  on  some  adventure. 

And  growing  to  thy  horse  a  centaur? 

To  stufl'thy  skin  with  swelling  knobs  1345 

Of  cruel  and  hard-wooded  drubs  ? 

For  still  thou'st  had  the  worst  on't  yet. 

As  well  in  conquest  as  defeat : 

Night  is  the  sabbath  of  mankind, 

To  rest  the  body  and  the  mind,t  1350 

Which  now  tlioii  art  deny"d  to  keep, 

And  cure  thy  labour'd  corjjse  with  sleep. 

The  Knight,  who  heard  the  words,  explaiii'd 

*  It  may  lie  amusing  to  compare  this  burlesque  with  the  seri 
oas  sublime  of  JMilton.    Paradise  Lost,  ii.  Gi5: 

till  monstrniis,  all  piodi-iinus  things, 

Abnniinrihle,  uniittenilile,  ;in(i  worse 

Thnn  fables  yet  have  fei^n'd,  or  fear  conceiv'd, 

Gorgons  and  lijdras,  and  chimajras  dire. 

t  This  reliKious  knight-errantry:  this  search  after  trifling  of 
fences,  with  intent  to  punish  them  as  crying  sins.  Kalpho,  who 
now  supposed  himself  alone,  see  I'art  iii.  canto  ill.  v.  H9,  vents 
his  sorrows  in  this  soliloquy,  or  expo^lulation,  which  is  so  art- 
fully worded,  as  equally  to  suit  his  own  case,  and  the  knight's, 
and  to  censure  the  coiidncl  of  both.  Hence  the  latter  applies 
the  whole  as  meant  and  directed  to  himself,  and  commenls  upon 
it  accordingly  to  v.  1400,  after  which  the  squire  improves  on  his 
master's  mistake,  and  counterfeits  the  ghost  in  earnest.  Com- 
pare Part  iii.  c.  iii.  v.  1.51-l.i8.  This  seems  to  have  been  But- 
ler's meaning,  thoiiuh  not  readily  to  be  collected  from  his  words: 
Ms  readers  are  left  in  the  dark  almost  as  much  as  his  heroes, 
liishnp  Wiirburton  supposes  Ihat  the  term  /wty  brutherhuud  al- 
ludes to  the  society  instituted  in  Spain,  called  L:i  Santa  Her- 
mandad,  employed  in  delecting  and  apprehending  thieves  and 
robbers,  and  executing  other  parts  of  the  police.  See  them  fre- 
quently mentioned  in  Don  Uui.xote.  Gil  Bias,  &c. 

I  Plutarch  thus  addresses  the  superstitious  person :  "Heaven 
''give  us  sleep,  as  a  relief  and  respite  from  our  affliction.  Why 
'  will  you  convert  this  gift  into  a  p  linful  instrument  of  torture  ; 
•'and  a  durable  one  too.  since  tlicre  is  no  other  sleep  for  youi 
'soul  to  flee  to.  Hor.iclilus  says,  lhat  to  men  wlio  are  awake 
'there  is  a  common  world  ;  but  every  one  who  sleeps  is  in  a 
'world  of  his  own.  Yet  not  even  in  sleep  is  the  superstilious 
"■nan  released  from  his  troubles:  his  reason  indeed  slumbers, 
■'but  his  fears  are  ever  awake,  and  he  can  neither  escape  Iroaj 

them  nor  dislodge  them."    De  Superstitione 


"anto  1.]  IIL'DIliRAS.  357 

As  meant  lo  liiin  this  rcpninand, 

Because  tlio  cliaractci'  did  hit  1355 

I'oiiit-blaiik  upon  liis  case  so  fit ; 

Bchev'd  it  was  some  drolling  spriirlit 

That  staid  upoa  the  guard  that  night, 

And  one  of  those  he  'ud  seen,  and  felt 

The  drubs  he  had  so  freely  dealt  ;  13CI 

When,  after  u  short  pause  and  groan, 

The  doieud  Spirit  thus  went  on : 

Tliis  'tis  t'  engage  with  dogs  and  bears 
Peihiiell  together  by  the  ears, 

And  after  painful  bangs  and  knocks,  1305 

To  lie  in  limbo  in  the  stocks, 
And  from  the  pinnacle  of  glory 
Fall  headlong  into  jjurgatory  ; 

Thought  he,  this  devil's  full  of  malice, 
That  on  my  lato  disasters  rallies,  1370 

Condemn'd  to  whipping,  but  declin'd  it, 
By  being  more  heroic-minded  ; 
And  at  a  riding  handled  worse, 
With  treats  more  slovenly  and  coarse  ;* 
Engag'd  with  fiends  in  stubborn  wars,  1373 

And  hot  disjjutes  with  conjurers  ; 
And,  when  thou  'adst  bravely  won  the  daj', 
Wast  fain  to  steal  thyself  awaj'. 

I  see,  thought  he,  this  shameless  elf 
Would  fain  steal  me  too  from  myself,  1380 

That  impudently  dares  to  own 
W^hat  I  have  sulier'd  for  and  done  ; 
And  now,  but  vent'ring  to  betraj', 
Hast  nut  with  vengeance  the  same  way. 

Thought  he,  how  docs  the  devil  know  1333 

What  'twas  that  I  design'd  to  do  ? 
His  office  of  intelligence. 
His  oracles,  are  ceas'd  long  since  ; 
And  ho  knows  nothing  of  the  saints. 
But  what  some  treach'rous  spy  acquaints.  1390 

Tills  is  some  pettifogging  fiend, 
Some  nndcr  doorkeeper's  friend's  friend. 
That  undertakes  to  understand. 
And  juggles  at  the  second-hand, 
And  now  would  pass  for  spirit  Po,t  1395 

*  This  shows  the  iiieunin;;  of  the  riding  dispensation,  I.  12-1. 

t  Po,  or  Bii,  the  son  of  Odin,  was  a  fierce  Uotliic  ciiptain, 
whose  ntinie  was  repeated  liy  his  soldiers  to  surprise  or  frighten 
their  enenii(-s.  See  Sir  William  Temple's  foiirtii  essay.  (Mr. 
Todd  says,  the  northern  Captain  will  suffer  no  (jreat  loss,  If  tlio 


358  IIJDIBRAS.  [Paut  id 

And  all  men's  dark  concerns  foreknow. 

I  think  I  need  not  fear  liiin  for't ; 

These  rallying  devils  do  no  hnrt. 

With  that  he  rous'd  his  drooping  heart, 

And  hastily  cried  out,  What  art? —  14UC 

A  wretch,  quoth  he,  whom  want  of  grace 
Has  brought  to  this  unhajijjy  place. 

I  do  believe  thee,  quoth  the  Knight; 
Thm  far  I'm  sure  thou'rt  in  the  right ; 
And  know  what 'tis  that  troubles  thee,  1105 

Better  than  thou  hast  guess'd  of  me. 
Thou  art  some  paltry,  blackguard  spright, 
Condemii'd  to  drudgVy  in  the  night ; 
Thou  hast  no  work  to  do  in  th'  liouse. 
Nor  halfpenny  to  drop  in  shoes  ;*  1410 

Without  the  raising  of  which  sum 
You  dare  not  be  so  troublesome 
To  pinch  the  slatterns  black  and  blue, 
For  leaving  you  their  work  to  do. 
This  is  your  bus'ness,  good  Pug-Robin,  1415 

And  your  diversion  dull  dry  bobbing, t 


etymology  be  transferred  from  his  reiioulited  name  to  the  Dnlch 
4a«w,  a  spectre;  but  i)r()b;ibly  Minsheu  gives  ihe  clue  to  this 
mnst  grave  etymology  when,  alter  a  bugge.  a  bugbear,  he  says 
Belgic,  Bieteliauw,  Beetebiiuw,  a  bijten,  i.  inordere  et  bauw,  i 
vox  fictitia  a  sono  quo  siilent  inftnles  territare.] 

*  Servanl-maids  were  tobi,  if  they  left  the  house  clean  when 
they  went  to  bed,  they  would  find  money  in  their  shoes  ;  if  dirty, 
they  would  be  pinched  in  their  sleep.  Thus  the  old  ballad  of 
Robin  Goodfellow,  who  perhaps  was  the  sprite  meant  by  Pug 
Rubin  : 

When  house  or  hearth  doth  sluttish  lie, 
1  pinch  the  maids  both  black  and  blue: 
And  from  the  bed.  the  bedcloths  I 
I'ull  off,  and  lay  them  nak'd  to  view. 
Again,  speaking  of  fairies  : 

Such  sort  of  creatures  as  would  bast  ye 
A  kitchen  wenrh  for  being  nasty: 
But  if  she  neatly  scour  her  ))ewter, 
Give  her  the  money  that  is  due  to  her. 
Kvery  night  bclbre  we  gi>e, 
We  drop  a  tester  in  her  shoe. 
See.  also  Parnell  and  Shakspeare,  in  many  places. 
t  Robin  Goodfellow,  in  the  creed  of  ancient  superstition,  wa» 
a  kind  of  merry  sprite,  whose  character  and  achievements  are 
frequenlly  recorded,  particularly  in  the  well-known  lines  of  Mil 
icn.     In  an  ancient  ballad,  entitled  Robin  Goodfellow: 
From  hag  bred  .Merlin's  lime  have  I 
Thus  nightly  revell'd  to  and  fro, 
And  for  my  |.rank«  pion  cill  me  by 
The  name  of  R<'bin  Goodfellow: 


L-AJJTO  I.]  IIUDIBIIAS.  350 

T'  calico  laualics  in  tlie  dirt, 

And  wash  'em  clean  in  dilclies  for't  ;* 

Of  which  conceit  you  are  so  proud, 

At  ev'ry  jest  you  laugh  aloud,  1420 

As  now  you  would  liuve  done  hy  mo, 

IJut  that  I  barr'd  your  raillery. 

Sir,  quoth  the  voice,  ye  're  no  such  sophy  r 
As  you  would  have  the  world  judge  of  ye. 
If  you  design  to  weigh  our  talents  1425 

r  th'  standard  of  your  own  false  balanr  e, 
Or  think  it  possible  to  know 
Us  ghosts,  as  well  as  we  do  you. 
We  who  have  been  the  everlasting 
Companions  of  your  drubs  and  basting,  1430 

And  never  left  you  in  contest. 
With  male  or  female,  man  or  boast, 
Hut  prov'd  as  true  t'  ye,  and  entire, 
In  all  adventures,  as  your  Squire. 

Quoth  lie.  That  may  be  said  as  true  1435 

By  th'  idlest  })ug  of  all  your  crew  ; 
For  none  could  have  betray 'd  us  worse  ; 
Than  those  allies  of  ours  and  yours.f 
But  I  have  sent  him  for  a  token 

To  your  low-country  IIogen-Mogen,  144C 

To  whose  infernal  shores  I  hope 
Ile'H  swing  like  skippers  in  a  rope : 
And  if  ye've  been  more  just  to  me 
As  I  am  apt  to  thinks  than  he, 


Fiend',  ghnst«,  and  sprightes, 

Who  h:\iir.t  the  nightes, 
The  hag-;  and  golilins  du  me  know, 

And  buldMriies  old 

My  feates  have  toUl, 
So  vale,  vale,  ho,  hu,  ho. 

I  Puck,  Puff,  Pouke ;  a  fiend.  Puke,  Diabolus.  Ihrc  Gloss. 
K  iidgnthicuiij.] 

Bobbing^  that  is,  inncking,  jesting  with.  Dry  bobbivg,  a  dry 
'est,  or  bull :  illusio,  dicieriuiii. 

*  See  llofluian's  I^exicon,  iii.  30).  Sub  voc.  Neptunus  (e» 
Gervas.  TillelirTiens.)  da;uionis  quiiddam  genus,  Angli  I'ortunos 
nouiinant.  I'urlunus  nonunquani  invisus  equitanti  se  copulat,  el 
cum  diulius  cmuilatur,  eundem  tandeai  loris  arreptis  e(iuum  is 
lutum  ad  manuiii  ducit.  in  (|uo  duiii  infi.vus  voliUaliir,  protinus 
exiens  cachinniuu  facit,  et  sic  hujus  modi  hulibiiu  humanam 
KimplicilaleiM  deridct 

t  You  arc  no  such  wise  person,  or  sophistor,  from  the  Greek 
w6<koi. 

%  Meaning  the  Independents,  or  Ralpho,  whom  he  says  he 
had  sent  to  the  infernal  llogcn  Mogen,  high  and  mighty,  or  the 
jevil,  sui<pusii)g  hu  would  be  hung. 


360  HUDIBRaS.  [Part  iu. 

I  am  afraid  it  is  as  true  1442 
What  til'  ill-alFected  say  of  you  : 

Ye  've  'spous'd  tlie  covenant  and  cause, 
By  holding  up  your  cloven  paws.* 

Sir,  quoth  the  Voice,  'tis  true,  I  grant,t 
We  made,  and  took  tlie  covenant :  14SG 

But  that  no  more  concerns  tlie  cause. 
Than  otlier  perj'ries  do  the  laws, 
Wliich,  wlien  they've  j..rov'd  in  open  court, 
Wear  wooden  peccadillos  for't  :t 

And  that's  the  reason  cov'nanters  14a5 

Hold  up  their  hands,  like  rogues  at  bars.§ 

I  see,  quoth  Hudibras,  from  whence 
These  scandals  of  the  saints  commence, || 
That  are  but  natural  effects 

Of  Satan's  malice,  and  his  sects',  1460 

Those  spider-saints,  that  hang  by  threads 
Spun  out  o'  th'  entrails  of  their  heads. 

Sir,  quoth  the  Voice,  that  may  as  true? 
And  properly  be  said  of  you. 

Whose  talents  may  compare  with  either,**  14G5 

Or  both  the  other  put  together : 
For  all  the  independents  do, 

*  When  persons  took  the  covenant,  they  attested  their  obliga 
lion  to  observe  its  principles  by  lilting  up  their  hiinds  to  heaven  : 
the  covenant  here  means  the  solemn  league  and  covenant 
Iranied  by  the  Scots,  and  adopted  by  the  Enjilish,  ordered  to  be 
read  in  all  churches,  and  every  pers()n  was  bound  to  give  hia 
consent,  by  holding  up  his  hanrl  at  the  reading  of  it.  See  Clar 
endon's  History.  South,  in  his  fifth  volume  of  Sermons,  p.  74 
says:  "Tlieir  very  posture  of  taking  the  covenant  was  an  omin 
"  ous  mark  of  its  intent,  and  their  holding  up  their  hands  was  a 
"  sign  that  they  were  ready  to  strike."  See  line  4H.')  of  this  can- 
to. The  solemn  leajiiie  and  covenant  has  by  many  been  com 
pared  to  the  holy  league  entered  into  by  a  large  party  in  France, 
in  the  reigns  of  Charles  IX..  Henry  HI.,  and  Henry  IV.  Seo 
this  parallel  carried  on  by  Uugdale,  in  his  State  of  the  Troubles 
in  England,  |).  COO. 

t  Ralpho,  the  supposed  sprite,  allows  that  they,  the  devil  and 
the  Independents,  had  engaged  in  the  covenant;  hut  he  insists 
that  the  violation  of  it  was  not  at  all  prejudicial  to  the  cause 
Ihey  had  undertaken,  and  for  which  it  was  framed. 

i  A  peccadillo  was  a  stiff  piece  worn  rmind  the  neck  and 
shoulders,  to  pin  the  ruff  or  band  to.  Ludicrously  it  means  the 
pillory. 

$  In  some  editions  we  read  held  up. 

II  The  scandalous  reflections  on  .he  saints,  such  as  your  charg- 
ing the  covenant  with  perjury,  and  making  the  covenanter  no 
belter  than  a  rogue  at  the  b:ir. 

*i  Hudibras  having  been  hard  upon  Satan,  and  the  Independ 
cnts,  the  voice  undertakes  the  defence  of  each,  but  first  of  the 
jidcpendents. 

•♦  That  is,  either  with  the  Independents  or  with  the  devil 


Canto  i.]  HUDIBRAS.  3(J1 

Is  only  wliat  you  forc'd  tlicin  to  ; 

You,  who  are  not  conteiit  alone 

With  tricks  to  put  the  devil  down,  1470 

But  must  have  armies  rais'd  to  back 

'I'he  |To<[)fl-work  you  undertake  ; 

As  il"  artillery  and  edge-tools, 

Were  th'  only  engines  to  save  souls: 

^\'llile  he,  poor  devil,  has  no  pow'r*  1475 

By  force,  to  run  down  and  devour  ; 

Has  ne'er  a  elassis,  cannot  sentence 

To  stools,  or  poundage  of  repentance  ;t 

Is  ly'd  up  only  to  design, 

T'  entice,  and  tempt,  and  undermine:  1480 

In  wiiich  you  all  his  arts  outdo. 

And  prove  yourselves  his  betters  too. 

Hence  'tis  possessions  do  less  evil 

Thau  mere  temptations  of  the  devil, t 

AN'hich,  all  tlie  horrid'st  actions  done,  1485 

Are  charg'd  in  courts  of  law  upon  ;§ 

Because,  unless  they  help  the  elf,|| 

He  can  do  little  of  himself; 

And,  tiierefore,  where  he's  best  possesl 

Acts,  most  against  his  interest ;  1490 

Surprises  none  but  those  who  'vc  priests 

To  turn  him  out,  and  exorcists, 

Supply'd  with  spiritual  provision, 

And  magazines  of  ammunition  ; 

With  crosses,  relics,  crucifixes,  1495 

Beads,  pictures,  rosaries,  and  pixes ; 

The  tools  of  working  our  salvation  ' 

By  mere  mechanic  operation  : 

W'ith  holy  water,  like  a  sluice. 

To  overfiow  all  avenues:  loOO 

But  those  wlio're  utterly  unarm'd, 


*  He,  that  is,  the  Independent,  has  no  power,  having  no 
tiassis,  or  $pirUual  jurisdiction. 

t  The  poor  devil,  says  Ralpho,  cannot  thus  distress  us  by 
open  and  authnrlzcd  vexations. 

X  lie  argues  that  men  who  are  influenced  by  the  devil,  and 
co-o|>erate  with  him,  commit  grciiter  wickedness  than  he  is  aide 
13  |>erpetrate  liy  his  own  agency.  We  seldom  hear,  therefore, 
of  liis  taking  an  entire  possession.  The  persons  who  complain 
most  of  his  doing  so,  are  those  who  are  well  furnished  with  the 
means  of  exorcising  and  ejecting  him,  such  as  relics,  crucifixes, 
beads,  pictures,  rosaries,  &.c. 

5  Nol  havina  the  fear  of  God  before  their  eyes,  but  led  by  tha 
instigation  of  the  devil,  is  the  form  of  indicunont  Ibi  felony,  muT- 
Jer,  or  such  atrocious  crimes. 

11  In  some  editions  we  read  yov,  help. 


363  IIUDIBRAS  [Part  la 

T'  oppose  his  entrance,  if  he  slorm'd, 

Ho  never  offers  to  surprise, 

Altlio'  his  falsest  enemies  ;* 

But  is  content  to  be  tiieir  drudge,  1503 

And  on  their  errands  glad  to  trudge: 

For  where  are  all  your  forfeitures 

Intrusted  in  safe  hands,  but  ours? 

Who  are  but  jailors  of  the  holes 

And  dungeons  where  you  clap  np  souls  ;t  151 

Like  underkeepers,  turn  the  keys, 

T'  your  mittimus  anathemas. 

And  never  boggle  to  restore 

The  members  you  deliver  o'er 

Upon  demand,  with  fairer  justice,  1513 

Tlian  all  your  covenanting  trustees  ;t 

Unless,  to  punish  them  the  worse. 

You  put  them  in  the  secular  powers. 

And  pass  their  souls,  as  some  demise 

The  same  estate  in  mortgage  twice :  1520 

When  to  a  legal  ultlegation 

You  turn  your  excommunication,§ 

And,  for  a  groat  unpaid  that's  due. 

Distrain  on  soul  and  body  too.|I 

Thought  he,  'tis  no  mean  part  of  civil  1525 

State-prudence  to  cajole  the  devil. 
And  not  to  handle  him  too  rough. 
When  he  has  us  in  his  cloven  hoof. 

'Tis  true,  quoth  he,  that  intercourse 
Has  pass'd  between  your  friends  and  ours,  1530 

That,  as  you  trust  us,  in  our  way, 
To  raise  your  members,  and  to  lay, IT 
We  send  you  others  of  our  own, 

*  The  enthusiasm  of  the  Independents  was  soinething  new  in 
lis  kind,  not  much  allied  to  superstition. 

t  Keep  those  in  hell  whom  you  are  pleased  to  send  thilher  by 
exconuiiiinication.  your  mittimus,  or  anathema:  as  jailers  and 
turnkeys  confine  their  pri-oners. 

i  More  honestly  than  the  Presbyterians  surrendered  the  es- 
tates which  they  held  in  trust  for  one  another;  these  trustees 
were  penerally  covenanters.  See  Part  i.  c.  i.  v.  76,  and  P.  iii.  c 
Li.  V  5a. 

^  You  call  down  the  vengeance  of  the  civil  magistrate  upon 
ihem,  and  in  this  second  instance  piss  over,  that  is,  take  no  no- 
tice of  their  souls:  the  ecclesiastical  courts  can  excommunicate, 
and  then  they  apply  to  the  civil  court  for  an  outlawry.  Utlega- 
tion,  that  is,  outlawry. 

II  Seize  the  party  by  a  writ  de  excommunicato  capiendo. 

It  Your  friends  and  ours,  that  is,  you  devils  and  US  fanatics: 
that  as  you  trust  us  in  our  way.  to  raise  you  devils  when  wf 
want  you,  anu  to  lay  you  again  wlien  we  have  done  with  you 


Canto  i  ]  IIUDIBRAS.  363 

Dcnoiinc'ci  to  hang  tlicinsclvcs  or  drown,* 

Or,  frighted  with  our  orutory,  1533 

To  leap  down  licadlong  many  a  story  ; 

Hi'.vo  us'd  all  means  to  propagate 

Vonr  mighty  interests  of  state, 

Laid  out  our  sj/ritnal  gifts  to  further 

Your  great  designs  of  rage  and  murtner  :  1540 

Tor  if  the  saints  are  nam'd  from  bloodt 

Wo  onl'  have  made  that  title  good  ;t 

And,  if  it  were  but  in  our  power. 

We  should  not  scruple  to  do  more. 

And  not  be  half  a  soul  behind  1545 

Of  all  dissenters  of  mankind. 

Right,  quoth  the  Voice,  and,  as  I  scorn 
To  bo  ungrateful,  in  return 
Of  all  those  kind  good  offices, 

ril  free  you  out  of  tiiis  distress,  1550 

And  set  you  down  in  safety,  where 
It  is  no  time  to  tell  you  here. 
Tiie  cock  crows,  and  the  morn  draws  on. 
When  'tis  decreed  I  must  be  gone  ; 
And  if  I  leave  you  here  till  day,  1555 

You'll  find  it  hard  to  get  away. 

With  that  the  Spirit  grop'd  about 
To  find  th'  enchanted  hero  out. 
And  try'd  with  haste  to  lift  him  np, 
But  found  his  forlorn  hope,  his  crup,§  ISfiO 

Unserviceable  with  kicks,  and  blows, 
Receiv'd  from  hardeu'd-hcarted  foes. 
lie  thought  to  drag  him  by  the  heels. 
Like  Gr.'sham-carts,  with  legs  for  wheels  ;|| 
But  foar,  that  soonest  cures  those  sores,  1565 

In  danger  of  relapse  to  worse, 


*  It  is  prol)al)le  that  the  Presbyterian  doctrine  of  reprobation 
had  driven  some  persons  to  suicide.  So  did  Alderman  Hoyle,  a 
member  of  the  house.    See  Hirkenhcad's  Paul's  Churchyard. 

t  Sanclus,  from  sanguis,  bh)od. 

t  i.  c.  \vc  fimatics  of  this  island  only  have  merited  that  tilie 
by  spilling  nuich  Idnod. 

^  His  back  is  called  his  forlorn  hope,  because  that  was  gen- 
erally ex|iosed  to  danger,  to  save  the  rest  of  his  body  :  a  reflec- 
tion on  his  courage. 

11  Mr.  Butler  dncs  not  forget  the  Royal  Society.  March  4, 1CC2, 
a  scheme  ol'a  cart  uilh  legs  that  moved,  instead  of  wheels,  was 
brought  befiire  the  Rnyal  Society,  amt  referred  to  the  considera- 
tion of  Mr.  llooke.  'j'lie  inventor  was  Mr.  Potter.  Mr.  Hooko 
was  ordered  to  draw  up  a  full  description  of  this  cart,  which, 
together  with  the  animadversions  upon  it,  was  to  be  entered  id 
'he  books  of  the  S""  -ietv. 
SI 


364  IIUUIBUAS  IPartiu. 

Came  in  t'  assist  him  with  its  aid. 

And  up  liis  sinking  vessel  weigh'd. 

No  sooner  was  he  lit  to  trudge, 

But  both  made  ready  to  dislodge  ;  1570 

The  Spirit  hors'd  liim  hiie  a  sack, 

Upon  the  vehicle  his  back. 

And  bore  him  headlong  into  th'  liall, 

With  some  few  rubs  agaiust  the  wall ; 

Where,  finding  out  the  postern  lock'd,  1575 

And  th'  avenues  s-o  strongly  block'd, 

H'  attack"d  the  window,  storm'd  the  glass, 

And  in  a  moment  gain'd  the  pass  ; 

Thro  which  he  dragg'd  the  worsted  soldier's 

Four-quarters  out  by  th'  head  and  shoulders,         158C 

And  cautiously  began  to  scout 

To  find  their  fellow-cattle  out: 

Nor  was  it  half  a  minute's  quest, 

Ere  he  retriev'd  the  champion's  beast, 

Ty'd  to  a  pale,  instead  of  rack,  15S5 

But  ne'er  a  saddle  on  his  back. 

Nor  pistols  at  the  saddle  how, 

Convey'd  away,  the  Lord  knows  how. 

He  thought  it  was  no  time  to  stay. 

And  let  the  night  too  steal  away  ;  1590 

But  in  a  trice,  advanc'd  the  Knight 

Upon  the  bare  ridge,  bolt  upright, 

And,  groping  out  lor  Ualpho's  jade. 

He  found  the  saddle  too  was  slray'd, 

And  in  the  place  a  lump  of  soap,  1591 

On  which  he  speedily  leap'd  up: 

And,  turning  to  the  gate  the  rein, 

He  kick"d  and  cudgclTd  on  amain : 

While  Hudibras,  with  equal  haste, 

On  both  sides  laid  about  as  fast,  1000 

And  spurr'd  as  jockies  use,  to  break. 

Or  padders  to  secure  a  neck  :* 

Where  let  us  leave  'em  for  a  time, 

And  to  their  churches  turn  our  rhyme  ; 

To  hold  forth  their  declining  state,  IbOa 

Which  now  come  near  an  even  rate.t 


*  Jockies  endanper  their  necks  by  spurring  their  horses,  and 
gallopins  very  fast :  Imt  highwaymen,  or  padilers,  so  called  from 
the  Snxon  paap,  highway,  endeavor  to  save  their  necks  by  the 
same  exertions. 

t  The  time  now  approached  when  the  l*resbyteri.ins  and  In- 
depcnilents  were  to  (all  into  equal  disfirace,  and  resemble  the 
uuleful  condition  of  the  knight  and  squire. 


Canto  i.]  IIUDIIiKAS. 


'Mb 


The  two  last  ccinversalions  have  inu^h  iinfnldod  iho  vicwj  of 
tlio  conl'fderiile  sects,  and  prepire  the  way  fur  tlie  Im-incss  of 
the  subsequent  canto.  'I'lieir  ditieronces  will  idcre  lje  aaitate^ 
by  characters  of  hijiher  consequence:  and  their  niuluiil  re- 
proaches will  again  enable  the  poet  to  expose  the  knavery  and 
hypocrisy  of  each.  This  was  the  principal  intent  of  the  work. 
■J'he  faille  was  considered  by  him  only  as  the  vehicle  of  his  sa 
tire.  .And  perhaps  when  he  published  the  First  Tart,  lie  had  no 
more  determined  what  was  to  follow  In  the  second,  than  Trial  nn 
Hhandy  had  on  ii  like  occasion.  The  filile  itself,  the  bare  out- 
lines of  which  I  conceive  to  be  borrowed,  mutatis  mutandis, 
from  Cervantes,  seems  here  to  be  hrousht  to  a  period.  The  next 
canto  has  the  form  of  an  episode.  The  last  consists  chiedy  of 
two  dialosues  and  two  letters.  Neither  •-iaUht  nor  siiulie  huve 
uy  furiber  odvenwiea. 


PART  III.    CANTO  II 


THE  ARGUMENT. 

The  Saints  engage  in  fierce  conteste 
About  tlieir  carnal  interests, 
To  share  their  sacrilegious  preys 
According  to  their  rates  of  grace  : 
Their  various  frenzies  to  reform, 
When  Cromwell  left  them  in  a  storm} 
Till,  in  th'  efiige  of  Rumps,  the  rabWG 
Burn  all  their  wrandees  of  tho  cabal. 


H  U  D  I  B  R  A  S  , 


CANTO  II.* 

Tut:  learned  write,  an  insect  breese 
Is  bnt  a  nionfjrel  ])riiiee  of  bees,t 
That  fails  before  a  storm  on  cows, 
And  stings  tlie  founders  of  his  house  ; 

*  The  (iifferen*.  complexion  of  this  canto  from  the  otliers,  and 
its  unconnected  stiite,  nmy  be  accounted  for  l)y  supposing  it 
written  on  the  spur  of  tlie  occasion,  and  with  a  politic  view  tn 
recommend  the  aiitlior  to  his  friends  at  court,  liy  a  new  and 
fierce  attack  on  the  opposite  faction,  at  a  time  wlien  the  real  or 
pretended  p;ilriots  were  daily  gaining  ground,  and  the  secret 
views  of  Charles  II.  were  more  and  more  suspected  and  dread- 
ed. A  short  time  before  llie  third  part  of  this  poem  was  pub- 
lished, Shaftesbury  hail  ceased  to  be  a  minister,  and  became  a 
furious  demagogue.  Hut  the  canio  descril)es  the  spirit  of  parties 
not  long  before  the  Restoration.  One  object  of  satire  here  is  to 
refute  and  ridicule  the  plea  of  the  Presbyterians  after  the  Ref- 
ormation, of  having  been  the  principal  instruments  in  bringing 
back  the  king.  Of  this  they  made  a  great  merit  in  the  reign  of 
Charles  H.,  and  therefore  Butler  examines  it  v.  782,  et  seq. — v 
1023,  et  seq.— V.  1185-1 189,  et.  seq. 

The  disccurses  and  disputations  in  this,  and  the  following 
canto,  are  long,  and  fatigue  the  attention  of  many  readers.  If  it 
had  not  been  taking  too  great  a  liberty  with  an  author  who  pub- 
lished his  own  works,  I  should  certainly  have  placed  this  canto 
last,  as  it  is  totally  unconnected  with  the  story  of  the  poem,  and 
relates  to  a  long  time  after  the  actions  of  the  other  cantos. 

t  What  the  learned,  namely,  Varro,  Virgil,  &c.,  write  concern- 
ing bees  beins  produced  from  the  putrid  bodies  of  cattle,  is  here 
applied  b'  our  author  to  the  breese,  or  gad-bee,  which  is  said 
by  the  learned  Pliny,  in  his  Natural  History,  .\i.  Hi,  to  be  apis 
crraiidior  (]u<e  ca'leras  fugat  :  hence  it  may  fairly  be  styled  a 
prince  of  bees,  yet.  but  a  miivg-rct  prince,  because  rit  strictly  and 
properly  a  bee.  Varro  in  Gesner's  edition  de  Re  tl\;stica,  iii.  16, 
says,  prinuim  apes  nasrunlur  p;irlim  ex  apilms,  partim  ex  bnhnlo 
corpore  pulrefaclo.  Itaque  Archelaus  in  Epiarammate,  ait,  eas 
esse  liodi  (pOt/jivrn  itt-noTfiitivn  riKva.  Idem  1-ji:(j)V  fiiv  aipijKei 
ytvea.  ft6<JX'^v  if  fifXioaai.  The  last  line,  with  some  variation, 
is  in  the  Tlieriaca  of  Nicandcr.  0>lumella  iv.  14,  says,  the  no- 
tion of  generating  bees  from  a  heifer  is  as  old  as  Uemocritus.  and 
continued  by  Mugo.  Both  I'hiletas  and  Callimachus  called  bees 
Sovytvus.  See  He.sych.  Virgil,  in  his  fourth  Georgic,  I.  281, 
iaysi: 


368  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  ni 

From  whose  corrupted  flesh  that  breed  3 

Of  vermin  did  at  first  proceed.* 

So,  ere  the  storm  of  war  broke  out, 

Rehgion  spawu'd  a  various  routt 

Of  petulant  capricious  sects, 

The  maggots  of  corrupted  tcx's,!  10 

That  first  run  all  religion  dowK, 

And  after  ev'ry  swarm  its  own  : 

For  as  the  Persian  JNlagi  once 

Upon  their  mothers  {rot  their  sons, 


Scd  si  qiiein  proles  siibito  dcfecerit  oiiinis. 
Nee,  {leiitis  untie  noviE  stirpis  revncetiir,  habcliit; 
Tempus  et  Arc:i(lii  iiietiiiiwn(Ja  inventa  inaiiistri 
Haiidere,  qiKique  iiioilo  ca'sis  jam  sa;pe  juveiicis 
Iiisinceius  apes  lultrit  cruur. 

For  the  cftert  the  Oestron  has  on  cattle,  see  Virg.  Georg.  iit 
J4(),  et  seq.  "On  the  h:icks  olcnws,"  says  Mr.  Derhain,  "in  the 
"  sinriiiier  uionihs.  there  are  maggots  generated,  which  in  Essex 
•'  we  call  weovils;  which  are  first  only  small  knots  in  the  skin, 
"and,  I  suppose,  no  other  than  eggs  laid  there  by  some  insect. 
"  By  degrees  these  knots  grow  bigger,  and  contain  in  Ihein  a 
"maggot,  which  may  be  squeezed  out  :it  a  hole  they  have  al 
"  ways  open."  Mr.  Dcrham  could  never  discover  what  animal 
thcv  turn  to.  1  doubt  not  but  it  is  to  this  gadfly  or  breese  ; 
and' that  their  stinging  the  cows  is  not  only  to  suck  their  blood, 
but  to  perforate  the  skin  for  the  sake  of  laying  their  eggs  with 
in  it. 

*  They  may  proceed  from  the  flesh  of  cows  in  the  manner 
above  mentioned,  that  is,  as  from  the  place  in  which  they  are 
bred,  but  not  from  the  matter  out  of  which  they  are  generated. 
The  note  on  this  passage,  in  the  old  edition,  together  with  many 
others,  convince  me  that  the  annotations  on  the  third  part  of 
Hudibras  could  not  be  written  by  Butler. 

t  No  less  than  180  errors  and  heresies  were  propagated  in  the 
city  of  Lc<nd(in.  as  Mr.  Case  told  the  parliament  in  his  thanks- 
giving sermon  for  the  taking  of  Chester. 

t  The  Independents  were  charged  with  altering  a  text  of 
Scripture,  (Arts  vi.  3,)  in  order  to  authorize  them  to  ajipoint 
their  own  ministers.  "Thereliire,  brethren,  look  ye  out  among 
"you  seven  men  of  honest  report,  full  of  the  IIr)ly  (Jhostand 
"  wisdom,  whom  ice  mayappoint  over  this  business."  Mr.Field 
is  said  to  have  printed  7/c  instead  of  we  in  several  editions,  and 
particularly  in  his  be.aititiil  folio  edition  of  Hi.')!),  and  the  octavo 
of  Itifil.  Dr.  Grevsavs.  he  had  heard  that  the  first  printer  of 
this  forgery  received  X'1500  for  it  'J'his  mistake  the  Doctor  was 
\n\  into  by  Dr.  VVotton,  but  he  very  handsomely  corrects  it  In 
his  Supplement.  The  erratum  of  the  press,  for  such  it  seems  to 
have  been,  being  a  mistake  only  of  a  single  letter,  was  observed 
first  in  that  printed  at  Cambridge  by  Buck  and  Daniel.  1038,  folio, 
so  that  it  is  falsely  said  by  several  writers,  that  this  forgery  crept 
Into  the  text  in  the  time  of  the  usurpation,  and  during  the  reiga 
of  Independencv.  See  licwis's  History  of  the  English  Transla- 
kions  of  the  Bible,  p.  .'',41),  and  .1.  Berriman's  Critical  Dissertation 
on  1  Tim.  iii.  10.  p.  5-2.  But  corrupted  JexK  .-jllude  rather  to  falM 
Interpretalions  than  to  false  readin^' 


Canto  ii.J  HL  DIBRAS.  369 

Tliiit  were  incapable  t'  enjoy  15 

That  cinpiro  any  other  way  ;* 

So  preshyter  begot  the  othert 

Upon  the  good  old  cause,  his  iiiothei 

That  bore  them  like  the  devil's  dantj 

Whose  son  and  husband  arc  the  same  ;  20 

And  yet  no  nat'ral  tie  of  blood, 

Nor  inl'rest  for  tlie  common  good, 

Could,  wlien  their  profits  interl'erd. 

Get  quarter  lor  eacli  other's  bi-ard  :^ 

For  when  tlicy  thriv'd  they  never  l'adg'd,||  25 


*  "  It  was  (Voiii  tliis  time,  viz.  alinut  SOI  years  liefoie  Christ, 

that  Ihcy  lirst  hxl  ihe  nainedl"  Majjiaiis,  \vhii:h  MfiiiilVin-;  the 

'crn|i-earo(l.  it  was  then  nivcn  vnito  llieiii  liy  way  <il  nickname 

'  aiitl  conleiiipt.  hcc.iuse  ol'  the  iiiipostdr  (Smerdis)  wlio  was  then 

"  cr(i|i|iL<l :  lor  Mijie  Gusli  sij;nifieil,  in  the  lai,i:iiai;e  cil'the  ciiiintry 

"tlicn  ill  use e  ill  it  hail   liis  ears  crnppcd."     I'riileaux'  Cim 

ncctidii.  rriiiii  heme,  perhaps,  miyhl  cuiiio  the  proverb,  "  Who 
"  made  you  a  conjurer  and  did  not  crop  your  ears."  Catullus 
says  ; 

Nam  niapus  ex  matre  et  -.'nato  gignalur  oportct. 

Si  vera  est  Persarum  impia  relligio.  I.\.\.\vii.  3 

Ovid  says: 

Gentes  esse  fernntur 
III  qnilnis  et  nato  geniirix.  et  nata  parent! 
Junyilur,  et  pictas  aemiiuilo  crescit  aiiiore. 

Met.  X.  332. 

nipaai  &i,  Kai  /(d/\(s"a  ahrdv  u\  co<plav  aoKuv  ioKovi/TtS  "' 
uii'yoi,  ya/ioCffi  tus  /jijrtpaj. 

Sext.  Kni|).    Pynhon.  Ilypotypos.  lib.  iii.  c.  24. 

The  poet  cannot  mean  the  Persian  cinpirc,  which  was  only  in 
'.he  hands  ol"  tlie  Maf;i  for  a  lew  monlhs  ;  luit  lie  must  intend  the 
oflice  ol"  Archiniagiis,  or  the  presidency  ol'  tlie  M.iu'i,  which  lie 
was  best  eiitilled  Ui  who  was  in  this  manner  begotten.  Zoroas- 
ter, the  first  instilutor  of  the  sect,  allowed  of  inccsiiious  mar- 
riages :  he  mair.lained  the  doctrine  of  a  good  and  bad  principle  ; 
the  former  was  worshipped  under  the  emblem  of  fire,  which 
they  kept  constantly  burning. 

t  The  I'resbytt-riins  lirst  broke  dow^n  the  p.-ile  of  order  and  dis- 
cipline, and  so' made  way  for  the  Independents  and  every  other 
»ect  ■ 

I  This  is  not  the  first  lime  we  have  heard  of  the  devil  s  iiio- 
Iher.  In  Wolfii  Memorabilia,  is  a  quoLition  from  Erasmus 
"  Si  tu  es  di.iliolus,  ego  sum  mater  illius."  And  in  the  Agaiuem 
non  of  iEschylus,  Cassandra,  after  loading  Clytemnesira  with 
every  opprobrious  name  she  can  ihink  of,  calls  her  <f&o\j  /iijr^pa. 
The  translator  of  lludiliras  into  Krencli,  remarks  in  a  note,  that 
this  passage  alludes  to  some  lines  in  the  second  book  of  Milton's 
Parailise  I-osl.  in  the  description  of  Sin  and  Death. 

^  When  the  I'resbyterians  prevailed,  Calamy,  being  asked 
what  he  would  do  with  the  Anabaptists,  Antinomians,  and 
others,  replied,  that  he  would  not  meddle  with  their  consciences, 
l,ut  only  with  their  bodies  and  estr.tes. 

II  That  is,  never  agreed  ;  from  the  Teutonic,  fugen.  Sea 
Bkinner.    The  same  word  is  used  v.  256 


370  HUDIBRAS.  II'ar*  in 

But  only  by  the  cars  engag'd  ; 

Like  dogs  that  snarl  about  a  bone, 

And  play  together  when  they've  none ; 

As  by  tlieir  truest  characters, 

Their  constant  actions,  plainly  appears.  30 

Rebellion  now  began,  for  lack 

Of  zeal  and  ])lunder,  to  grow  slack  ; 

The  cause  and  covenant  to  le:-sen, 

And  providence  to  b'  out  of  season  : 

For  now  there  was  no  more  to  purchase  35 

O  til'  king's  revenue,  and  the  churches, 

But  all  divided,  shar'd,  and  gone. 

That  us'd  to  urge  the  brethren  on  ; 

Which  forc'd  tlie  stubl)orn'st  for  the  canse 

To  cross  the  cudgels  to  the  laws,*  40 

That  what  by  breaking  them  they'ad  gain'd 

By  their  support  miglit  be  maintain'd  ; 

Like  thieves,  that  in  a  hemp-plot  lie, 

Secur'd  against  tlie  hue-and-cry. t 

For  presbyter  and  independent  4^ 

Were  now  turn"d  plaintiff  and  defendant, 

Laid  out  tiieir  a|)Oitoiic  functions 

On  carnal  orders  and  injunctions ; 

And  all  their  precious  gifts  and  graces 

On  outlawries  and  scire  facias  ;  50 

At  Michael's  term  had  many  a  trial. 

Worse  than  tlie  dragon  and  St.  Michael, 

Where  thousands  fell,  in  shape  of  fees, 

Lito  the  bottomless  abyss. 

For  when,  like  brethren,  and  like  friends,  55 

They  came  to  share  their  dividends,^ 

And  ev'ry  partner  to  possess 

His  church  and  state  joint-purchases, 

In  which  the  ablest  saint,  and  best. 


*  Cudgel?  across  one  anolher  denote  a  challenge:  to  cross  the 
cudgels  to  the  laws,  is  to  olfer  to  fiiiht  in  defence  of  them. 

t  It  may  mean  a  plat  of  growing  hemp,  which  heing  a  tliick 
cover,  u  rogue  m  ly  lie  concealed  therein,  secure  from  all  dis- 
covery of  hiie-ind-cry :  "Thus,"  says  Butler  in  his  Remains, 
vol.  ii.  p.  :;84,  "  he  shelters  himself  under  the  cover  of  the  law, 
"  like  a  thief  in  a  hemp-plat,  and  makes  that  secure  him  which 
"  was  intended  for  his  destrnclion." 

t  AlxiiiL  the  year  ll>4i).  when  the  estates  of  the  King  and 
Church  were  sold,  great  arrears  were  due  to  the  army:  for  the 
discharge  of  which  some  of  the  lands  were  allotted,  nnd  wholo 
ttfginicnt''  joineil  together  in  the  m:inner  of  a  corporation.  The 
distribution  afterwards  was  productive  of  in  any  lawsuits,  the 
person  «  ho-c  name  was  put  in  trust  often  claiming  the  wbole, 
X  a  laxger  share  than  lie  was  entitled  to 


Canto  n.]  IIUDIBRAS.  37i 

Was  iiain'd  in  trust  by  all  the  rest  00 

To  i)ay  llii'ir  money,  and  instead 

Ot'ev'ry  brother,  pass  the  deed  ; 

Ho  strait  converted  all  his  gifts 

To  pions  I'lands  and  holy  shifts, 

And  settled  all  the  other  shares*  03 

Upon  his  outward  man  and  's  heirs ; 

Held  all  they  claim'd  as  forfeit  laiids 

Deliver'd  np  into  his  hands, 

And  passM  upon  his  conscience 

By  pre-entail  of  Providence  ;  70 

lMi|ieacli"d  the  rest  for  reprobates, 

That  had  no  titles  to  estates. 

But  by  their  sjjiritual  attaints 

l!)egraded  from  the  right  of  saints 

This  b'ing  reveai'd,  they  now  begun  75 

With  law  and  conscience  to  fall  on, 

And  laid  about  as  hot  and  brain-sick 

As  th'  ntter  barrister  of  Swanswick  :t 

Engag'd  with  money  bags,  as  bold 

As  men  with  sand-bags  did  of  old,l  80 


*  Perliaps  a  better  reading  would  be,  as  in  some  editions, 
mclurs'  shares. 

t  William  Prynne,  before  nienlioned,  born  at  Swanswick,  in 
Somersetsliire,  and  barrister  of  Lincoln's  Inn.  The  poet  calls 
him  hut  and  brainsick,  because  he  was  a  restless  and  turliulenl 
man.  Whitelock  calls  him  the  busy  Mr.  Prynne,  which  title 
lie  gives  him  on  occasion  of  Ids  juiiiiny  witli  one  \Valker  in 
prosecutinj;  Colonel  T'iennes  lor  tlio  surrender  of  Bristol.  Walk 
er  had  been  present  at  the  siege,  and  had  lost  a  good  fortune 
by  llie  surrender:  but  Prynne  (he  tells  us)  was  no  otlierwise 
concerned  than  out  of  the  pragmaticalness  of  his  temper. 
There  was  an  especial  reason  lor  his  being  called  the  utter  bar- 
rister, for  when  lie  was  censured  by  the  cmirt  of  Star-chamber, 
he  was  ordered  (besides  other  punishments)  to  be  discarded; 
and  afterwards  he  was  voted  again  by  the  house  of  commons  to 
be  restored  to  his  place,  and  practice  as  an  i(((f)- barrister ;  a 
term  which  signifies  a  pleader  witliin  the  bar,  but  who  is  not 
king's  counsel  5r  sergeant. 

t  Bishop  Warlmrton  says:  "  Wlien  the  combat  was  demand- 
"  ed  in  a  legal  way  by  knights  an<l  gentlemen,  it  was  fought 
■'  with  swori'  and  l.ince  :  and  when  by  yeomen,  with  san<l  bags 
"fastened  to  the  end  of  a  truncliei)n  :"  see  Shakspeare,  the 
second  part  of  Henry  the  VI.  "Pugiles  sacculis  non  veritate 
"  pugilantcs,"  nnde  a  ptirt  of  the  procession,  when  Gallienus 
celebrated  the  decennaliaof  his  accession  l(j  the  empire.  (Treb. 
Pollio  in  G.illien.  p.  178,  ed.  Paris,  102(1.)  Casaubon's  note  is, 
■'Ciui  incruento  pugilatu  vulebant  dimicare,  saccis  non  cceslibus 
"manus  iiiimiebant.     Aiunt  autem  hi  succi  vel   tomento  facti, 

vcl  alia  re  pleni.   quiB  gravem  ictum  nun  redderent:    puta, 

ficon'mi  graiiis,  vel  farina,  vel  furfuribus:  inlerdum  ct  arena 
"sacculos  implebint."  Clirysostomiis  bdmilia  -^O  in  Epistnl.  ad 
Hebrivos,  ciiK  bu^s  toi/s  ddA^ru;  iriDf  OvXaKovs  iiiinuv  nXi'itavrti 


372  nUDIBRAS.  ri'ART  ID 

Tliat  bronjrht  the  lawyers  .n  more  fees 

Than  all  luisanctify'd  trustees  ;* 

Till  he  who  had  no  more  to  show 

r  th'  case,  received  the  overthrow  ; 

Or,  both  sides  having  had  the  worst,  (tS 

They  parted  as  they  met  at  first. 

Poor  presbyter  was  now  rediic'd, 

Secluded,  and  cashicr'd,  and  chous'd  It 

Turn'd  out,  and  excommunicate 

From  all  afiuirs  of  church  and  state,  9P 

Reform'd  t'  a  reformado  saint,t 

And  glad  to  turn  itinerant. 

To  stroll  and  teach  from  town  to  town. 

And  those  he  had  taught  up,  teach  down,^ 

And  make  those  uses  serve  agen||  95 

Against  the  new-enlighten'd  men, IT 

As  fit  as  when  at  first  they  were 

Reveal'd  against  the  cavalier  ; 

Damn  anabaptist  and  fanatic, 

As  pat  as  popish  and  prelatic  ;  10i< 

And  with  as  little  variation, 

To  serve  for  any  sect  i'  th'  nation, 

The  good  old  cause,  which  some  believe 


b8tu)  yvixvai^ovTai.  See  the  same  thniight  repeated  in  Butler's 
Genuine  llomains,  vol.  i.  pp.  83  and  37!),  and  vol.  ii.  310.  Sand- 
l);i!is  in  innre  modern  history  were  really  dan^'crous  weapons; 
they  became  instruments  of  the  executioner.  C'est  «ne  inven- 
tion des  Italiens  pour  tucr  tin  hoinme  sans  repandre  de  sang,  do 
le  frapper  ruilemcnt  sur  le  dos  avec  des  sachets  reinplis  de 
sable.  Les  iiieurtrissures  en  sent  ificurahles:  la  pangrene  s'y 
met;  et  la  morl  acheve  le  meurtre.  The  Spaniards  are  said  to 
have  employed  this  mode  of  revenue  to  destroy  Boccalini. 
(Melances  par  Vigiieul  Marville,  vol.  i.  p.  II.) 

*  The  lawyers  got  more  fees  from  the  Presbyterians,  or 
saints,  who  in  general  were  trustees  for  the  sequestered  lands, 
than  from  all  other  trustees,  who  were  unsanctified.  See  v. 
59,  (!0. 

t  When  Oliver  Cromwell,  with  the  army  and  the  Indepen- 
dents, had  gotten  the  upper  hand,  they  deprived  the  Tresliy- 
terians  of  all  jxiwer  and  authority;  and  before  the  king  was 
brought  to  his  trial,  the  Presbyterian  members  were  e.\cluded 
from  the  house. 

1  That  is,  to  a  volunteer  without  ofike,  pay.  or  coinmission. 

^  Poor  presbyter,  or  Ihe  Presbyterians  were  glad  to  teach 
down  the  Independents,  whom  as  brethren  .••Jid  friends  (v.  5,>V 
Ihey  had  indiscriminately  taught  up;  the  unhinging  doctrines 
uf  the  Presbyterians  having,  in  the  long-run,  hoisted  up  the  In- 
deuendents  in  direct  opposition  to  themselves. 

fj  The  sermons  of  those  times  were  divi<led  into  doctrine  and 
use  :  and  in  the  margin  of  them  is  often  primed  ujfc  the  first.  us4 
ttie  second.  &c. 

T  That  is,  against  the  Independents. 


Canto  u.]  IIUDIBRAS,  j73 

To  be  tlie  dt'v'l  that  tempted  Eve 

With  knowledge,  and  does  still  invite  IQS 

The  world  to  mischief  with  new  light, 

Had  store  of  money  in  her  purse, 

Wlien  lio  took  her  for  belter  or  worse, 

But  now  was  grown  del'onn'd  and  poor, 

Ami  lit  to  be  turn'd  out  of  door.  Uo 

The  independents,  whose  Ih'st  station 
Was  in  the  rear  of  reformation, 
A  mongrel  kind  of  church-dragoons,* 
That  serv'd  for  horse  and  foot  at  once, 
And  in  tho  saddle  of  one  steed  115 

Tiie  Saracen  and  Christian  rid  ;+ 
Were  free  of  ev'ry  spiritual  order, 
Tc  preach,  and  fight,  and  pray,  and  murder,t 
No  sooner  got  the  start,  to  lurch, ^ 
Both  disciplines  of  war  and  church,  120 

And  providence  enough  to  run 
The  chief  commanders  of  them  down, 
But  carry'd  on  the  war  against 
The  common  enemy  o'  th'  saints, 
And  in  a  while  prevail'd  so  fur,  125 

To  win  of  them  the  game  of  war, 
And  be  at  liberty  once  more 
T'  attack  themselves  as  they'ad  before. 

*  Many  of  the  Independent  officers,  such  as  Cromwell,  Ireton, 
Harrison,  &.C.,  used  lo  pray  and  preach  publicly,  und  many 
liours  tiigether.  The  sermon  printed  under  the  name  of  Oliver 
Cromwell  is  well  known  lo  be  a  forgery.  See  (jranger.  Art. 
Oliver  Cronnvell. 

t  Mr.  Walker,  in  his  History  of  Independency,  says,  "Tho 
Independents  were  a  tompositiim  of  Jew,  (Jhristian,  and  Turk.' 

i  To  preach,  has  a.  reference  to  the  Duminicans  ;  to  jigh.t, 
to  lie  knighls  of  Malta ;  to  pray,  to  the  fathers  (if  the  Ora- 
tory; to  tiiiirtlier,  lo  the  Jesuits:  of  the  latter,  Oldham,  Sat.  i... 
speaks  as 

In  each  profounder  art  of  killing  bred  : 
and  in  Sat.  iil.. 

Slight  of  murder  of  the  subtlest  shape. 

But  the  Inilependents  assumed  lo  themselves  the  privilege  of 
every  order;  they  preached,  they  foiiEbt,  they  prayed,  Ihey 
murdered.  Sir  Roger  L'Eslrange  says,  in  the  reflection  on  one 
of  his  fible<,  thai  the  Independents  did  not  take  one  step  in  the 
whole  track  of  their  iniquity,  williotu  seckitia  the  Lord  first, 
and  going  up  lo  ini|uire  of  the  LonI  lirsi,  acciirding  to  the  cant 
of  those  days.  For  I'urlher  acrount  of  the  Independents,  seo 
Walker's  History :  the  first  part  of  which  was  published  1648, 
Jhe  second  in  liiill,  and  the  third  written  in  the  Tower,  where 
he  was  sent  by  Cromwell  for  writing  it.  Kiil. 

^  That  is,  to  swallow  up,  to  obtain  fraudulently  See  Skinnei 
\nd  Junius. 


j74  IIUDIBRAS.  [1'An.T  in 

For  now  there  was  no  foe  in  arms 
T'  ur.itc  their  factions  witii  alarms,  130 

But  all  reduc'd  and  overcome, 
Except  their  worst,  themselves  at  home, 
Who'ad  compass'd  all  th'  pray'd,  and  swore 
*i.nd  fought,  and  preach'd,  and  plunder'd  for, 
Subdu'd  the  nation,  ciinrch,  and  state,  135 

And  all  things  but  their  laws  and  hate  ;* 
But  when  they  came  to  treat  and  transact, 
And  share  the  spoil  of  all  they'ad  ransackt. 
To  botcli  up  what  they'ad  torn  and  rent, 
Religion  and  the  government,  HO 

They  meet  no  sooner,  but  prepar'd. 
To  pull  down  all  the  war  had  spar'd  ; 
Agreed  in  nothing,  but  t'  abolish, 
Subvert,  extirpate,  and  demolish  : 
For  knaves  and  foob  b'ing  near  of  kin,  145 

As  Dutcli  boors  are  t'  a  sooterkin,t 
Both  parties  join'd  to  do  their  best 
To  damn  the  public  interest, 
And  herdid  only  in  consults,! 

To  put  by  one  another's  bolts  ;  15(1 

T'  outcant  the  Babylonian  labourers. 
At  all  their  dialects  of  jabberers, 
And  tug  at  both  ends  of  the  saw, 
To  tear  down  government  and  law. 
For  as  two  cheats,  that  play  one  game,  155 

Are  both  defeated  of  their  aim  ;§ 
So  those  who  play  a  game  of  state, || 
And  only  cavil  in  debate, 
Altho'  there's  nothing  lost  nor  won. 
The  public  bus'ness  is  undone,  ICC 


"*  That  is,  the  laws  of  the  land,  and  hatred  of  the  people. 

t  A  reflection  upon  the  Dutch  women,  for  their  use  of  hand- 
ttoves,  which  they  frequenlly  put  under  their  petticoats,  and 
from  whence  they  are  said  to  produce  sooterkins  with  their  chil- 
dren. Mr.  James  Howel.  in  his  lelters,  calls  it  a  Zucchie,  and 
Bays,  "  it  is  likest  a  bat  of  any  creature."  But  Cleveland,  p.  103, 
says,  "not  unlike  to  a  rat." 

i  That  is,  l)oth  parties  were  intimately  united  toselhcr. 

^  For  as  when  two  cheats,  equally  masters  of  the  very  same 
tricks,  are  both  by  that  circum-lance  defeated  of  Iheir  aim.  name- 
ly, to  i!;)pose  upon  each  other,  so  tho->e  well-matched  tricksters, 
who  pUy  with  state  alf.iirs,  and  by  only  cavilling  at  one  another's 
schemes,  are  ever  counteractini!  each  other. 

II  This  and  the  IJ-  c  folhjwing  lines  are  truly  dcscriiillve  of 
modern  politicians,  who  \]<c  many  words  and  little  matter  ;  whose 
excellence  is  rated  by  the  number  of  hours  they  continue  speak 
lag,  and  cavilling  in  debate. 


Onto  n.]  IIUDIBRAS.  376 

^hicli  still  llio  longer  'tis  in  doing, 
necomi's  the  surer  way  to  ruin. 

Tliis  when  the  royalists  perceiv'd,* 
Who  to  their  faith  as  firmly  cleav'd, 
A.nd  own'd  the  right  they  had  paid  dowu  1C3 

So  dearly  for,  the  church  ana  crowu, 
Th'  united  constanter,  and  sided 
The  more,  the  more  their  foes  divided 
For  tho'  outmmiber'd,  overthrown, 
And  by  the  fate  of  war  run  down,  170 

Tlieir  duty  never  was  defeated, 
Nor  from  their  oaths  and  faith  retreated  ; 
For  loyalty  is  still  the  same, 
Whether  it  win  or  lose  the  game  ; 
True  as  tho  dial  to  the  sun,  175 

Altho'  it  be  not  shin'd  upon.t 
Hut  when  these  bretliercn  in  cvil,t 
Their  adversaries,  and  the  devil. 
Began  once  more  to  shew  them  play, 
And  hopes,  at  least,  to  have  a  day,  180 

Thoy  raMy'd  in  parade  of  woods. 
And  unfrequented  solitudes  ; 
Conven'd  at  midnight  in  outhouses, 
T'  appoint  new-rising  rendezvouses, 
And,  with  a  pertinacy  unmalch'd,  185 

For  new  recruits  of  danger  watch'd.^ 
No  sooner  was  one  blow  diverted. 
But  up  another  party  started. 
And  as  if  Nature  too,  in  haste, 

To  furnisii  our  sui)plics  as  fast,  ISO 

Before  her  time  had  turn'd  destruction, 
T'  a  new  and  numerous  production  ;|| 
No  sooner  those  were  overcome, 
But  up  rose  others  in  their  room, 


*  A  fine  cncnmiuni  on  the  royalists,  their  prudence,  and  suf- 
terin;;  tidelity. 

t  As  the  (iia!  is  invariable,  and  always  open  to  the  sun  when- 
ever its  rays  can  show  the  time  of  day,  though  the  weather  is 
often  cloudy,  and  obscures  its  lustre:  so  true  loyally  is  always 
rc!;i<iy  to  servo  its  king  and  country,  tliough  it  often  suffers  great 
afllKtiions  and  distresses. 

}  The  poet,  to  serve  his  metre,  lengthens  words  as  well  as 
contracts  thein  ;  thus  liglitcning,  oppugne,  sarcasrnous,  atfairec, 
bungleing,  sprinkleing,  benigne. 

6  Recruit",  that  is,  returns. 

(1  The  succession  of  loyalists  was  so  quick,  that  tliey  seemed  to 
be  [lerishing,  and  others  supplying  their  places,  beliuj  the  periods 
usual  in  nature  ;  all  which  is  expressed  with  an  aliusioa  to 

uivocal  generation. 
32 


176  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  u; 

That,  like  tlie  christian  faith,  increas'd,  195 

The  more,  tlie  more  tliey  were  siippress'd 

Whom  neither  chains,  nor  transportation, 

Proscription,  sale  or  confiscation, 

Nor  ail  the  desperate  events 

Of  former  try'd  experiments,  200 

Nor  wounds,  could  terrify,  nor  mangling, 

To  leave  ofi' loyalty  and  dangling. 

Nor  death,  with  all  his  bones,  affright 

From  vent'ring  to  maintain  the  right, 

From  staking  life  and  fortune  down  205 

'Gainst  all  together,  for  the  crown  :* 

But  kept  the  title  of  their  cause 

From  forfeiture,  like  clainis  in  laws  ; 

And  prov'd  no  prosp'rous  usurpation 

Can  ever  settle  on  the  nation  ;  210 

Until,  in  spite  of  force  and  treason. 

They  put  their  loy'lty  in  possession  ; 

And,  by  their  constancy  and  faith, 

Destroy'd  the  mighty  men  of  Gath. 

Toss'd  in  a  furious  hurricane,  215 

Did  Oliver  give  up  his  reign,t 
And  was  believ'd,  as  well  by  saints 
As  moral  men  and  miscreants,! 


*  That  is,  all  of  Ihetii  to^'ether,  namely,  the  several  factions, 
iheir  adversaries,  and  the  devil.     See  v.  178. 

t  The  Monday  before  the  ileath  of  Oliver,  August  30th,  16.18. 
was  the  most  windy  day  that  had  happened  for  twenty  years  ; 
Dennis  Bond,  a  member  of  the  long  parliament,  and  one  of  the 
king's  judges,  died  on  this  day;  wherefore,  when  Oliver  likewise 
went  away  in  a  storm  the  Friday  following,  it  was  said  the 
devil  came  in  the  first  wind  to  fetch  him,  but  finding  him  not 
quite  ready,  he  took  Bond  for  his  appearance.  Dr.  Morton,  in 
his  book  of  Fevers,  says,  that  Oliver  died  of  an  ague,  or  inter- 
mittent fever;  and  intimates  that  his  life  might  have  been 
saved,  had  the  virtues  of  the  bark  been  sulficiently  known ;  the 
distemper  was  then  uncommonly  epidemical  and  fatal :  Morion's 
father  died  of  it.  As  there  was  also  a  high  wind  the  day  Oliver 
died,  both  the  poets  and  Lord  Clarendon  may  be  right ;  though 
the  note  on  A.  Wood's  Life  insinuates,  that  Ihe  noble  historian 
uistook  the  dale  of  the  wind.  Wood's  Life,  p.  115.  Wallei 
Bays : 

In  storms  as  loud  as  his  immortal  fame  ; 

\nd  Codolphin: 

In  storms  as  loud  as  was  his  crying  sin. 
}  Some  editions  read  mortal,  but  not  with  so  much  sense  or 
wit.  The  Independents  called  themselves  the  saints  ;  the  cava- 
liers, and  the  church  of  England,  they  distinguished  into  two 
jorts;  the  immoral  and  wicked,  iliey  called  miscreants;  those 
tha*  were  of  sober  and  of  good  conversation,  they  called  moral 


©iLi:TlJ£m   ^M.(D;i2iWity 


J78  HUUIBRAS.  [Part  ie 

Mistook  the  New  Jerusalem, 

Profanely  for  111   apocryphal 

False  lieav'n  at  the  end  o'  lli'  hall ; 

Wiiither,  it  vvas  decreed  by  fate,  223 

His  precioas  reliques  to  translate. 

So  Romulus  was  seen  before 


'hung  like  a  dried  rat,  yet  corrupted  about  the  fundament. 
'  Bradsliaw,  in  his  winding-sheet,  the  finsers  of  his  right  hand 
'and  his  >M)se  jierished.  hiivins;  wet  the  sheet  through;  the  rest 
"  very  perfect,  insomuch  ihit  I  knew  his  face,  when  the  hang- 
"man,  afler  cutlmi;  his  head  otf,  held  it  up:  of  his  toes,  1  had 
'  five  or  six  in  inv  hand,  which  the  prentices  had  cut  od.  Their 
"bcxiies  were  thrown  into  a  hole  under  the  giillows,  in  their 
"  seare-cloth  and  sheet.  Cromwell  had  eight  cuts,  Ireton  four, 
"  being  seareclolhs,  and  their  heads  were  set  up  on  the  soulh- 
■end  of  \Vesliiiii:sler-Ilall."  In  a  marginal  note  is  a  drawing 
of  Tyburn  (hy  th-3  same  hand)  with  the  bodies  hanging,  and  the 
grave  underneath.  Cromwell  is  represented  like  a  mummy 
swathed  up,  with  no  visible  legs  or  feet.  To  this  memorandum 
is  added : 

"Ireton,  died  the  ir.th  of  November,  1651. 
"Cromwell,  the  3<l  of  September,  Ki.W. 
"  Bradshaw,  the  31st  of  October,  1C5S)." 
In  the  same  diary  are  the  following  articles  :—"  January  8lh, 
"  lOtil,  Sir  A.  Haslerigg,  that  cholerick  rebel,  died  in  the  Tower. 
"The  ITlh,  Venner  and  his  accomplice  hanged— he  and  another 
"in  Coleman  str.;et ;  the  other  17  in  other  places  of  the  city. 
"Sept.  3d,  16U2,  Cromwelfs  glorious,  and  yet  fatal  day. died  that 
"long  speaker  of  the  long  pirliiment,  William  Lenthall,  very 
"penitently."  Yet,  according  to  other  accounts,  the  body  of 
Oliver  has  been  differently  disposed  of.  Some  say  that  it  was 
sunk  in  the  Thames;  others,  that  it  was  buried  in  Naseby-field. 
But  the  most  romantic  story  of  all  is,  ihat  his  corpse  was  private- 
ly taken  to  Windsor,  and  put  in  king  Chirles's  coffin ;  while  the 
bodyof  tlie  king  was  buried  in  stale  for  Oliver's,  and,  conseqnent- 
ly,  afterwards  hanged  at  Tyburn,  and  the  head  exposed  at  West- 
minster-Hall. These  idle  reports  might  arise  from  the  necessity 
there  was  of  interring  the  Protector's  body  before  the  funeral 
rites  were  performed :  for  it  appears  to  have  been  deposited  in 
Westminster- .\bbev,  in  the  place  now  occupied  by  the  tomb  of 
the  duke  of  Buckingham.  The  engraved  plate  on  his  collin  i< 
still  in  being.  Sir  John  Prestwick,  in  liis  Republica,  tells  us 
"that  Cromwell's  remains  were  privately  interred  in  a  small 
"paddock,  near  Holborn,  on  the  spot  where  the  obelisk  in  Bed 
"lion-square  haely  stood."  The  account  of  Oliver's  sickness 
and  death  in  Biog.  Brit.  ed.  2.  vol.  iv.  p.  108,  may  be  depended 
upon,  being  taken  from  Bales'  Elenchus  Motiium,  who  attended 
as  his  physician  at  the  time.  Ur.  Morton  says,  anno  Ki.'iS,  Kebris 
ha?c,  tarn  spuria  qiiim  simplex,  priesertim  mensibus  autumnali- 
bus  ubiqiie  per  totam  .\ngliam  grassabatur.  qiioil  eli  uii  Wdlisiiis 
in  purelologia  sua  lestalus  est.  Olivarius  Croiiiwelliis,  qui  tum 
teiiiporis  rcruiii  Britt  innicarnm  polilus  est.  et  piter  mens  reve- 
r(Midus.  idemque  medicus  exeri-itatissimus,  illo  ipso  anno,  iiieunte 
SeptiMiibri,  cum  ha-c  conslitiilio  ad  uKittiv  pervenisset.  hac  febro 
corrcpli,  t'Mis  cedebant.  Hoc  tempore  lere  tola  hac  insula  noso- 
tomii  piililici  speciem  \<r:v  se  ferelnt,  et  in  nonnullis  locis  s^-.m 
»lx  8U|H.-reri:p.t,  qui  ad  ministrandum  valeludinariis  sufficercnl. 


:anto  ii.]  IIUDIBRAn.  379 

C  as  orthodox  a  senator,* 

From  whoso  diviiio  illnmiiiatioii 

lie  stole  tlio  pagan  revi'lation.  230 

Next  liini  his  son,  and  lieir  apjjarent 
Succeeded,  tho'  a  iamo  vicegerent,! 
Wlio  first  laid  by  the  parhanient ; 
The  only  crutch  on  which  he  leant. 
And  then  sunk  underneath  tlie  stale,  233 

That  rode  him  above  horseman's  wcight.t 

And  now  the  saints  began  their  reign, 
For  which  they  *ad  yearn'd  so  long  in  vain,§ 
And  felt  such  bowel-hankerings, 

To  see  an  empire,  all  of  kings, ||  240 

Deliver'd  from  th'  Egyptian  awe 
Of  justice,  government,  and  law, IT 
And  free  t'  erect  what  spiritual  cantons 
Should  be  reveal'd,  or  gospel  Hans-Towns.** 
To  edify  upon  the  ruins  24.i 


*  Livy  says,  "  Romulus,  the  fir->t  Roman  king,  hein^  suddenly 
■  missed,  and  the  people  in  troulile  for  llie  loss  iif  him,  Julius 

I'rociilus  mide  a  speech,  wherein  lie  told  them   that  he  saw 

Itomulus  llial  muniing  come  down  (Vi)ni  heaven  ;  that  he  -lave 
'  l)im  certain  thin;;s  in  charge  to  tell  them,  and  tliat  he  saw  him 
'•  iiinunl  iij)  to  lieaven  again."  Proculiis  mi^ht  have  hcen  as 
creditalile  and  orthodox  as  lY'ter  Slerry,  ihou^'h  not  one  oC  the 
lisscmlily  oi'divines.  Hut  Dion.  H.ilicarnas.  a  better  antiquary, 
and  more  iiupartial  than  Livy,  relates,  xi.  oG,  that  Romuhis  was 
murdered  liy  his  own  discontented  sulyects.  What  the  annota- 
tor  to  tlie  third  part  has  conceriiin<;  Uuirinus,  lie  might  have 
taken  I'rom  Uionysius,  hut  neither  this  author  nor  Livy  say  a  word 
about  making  oath.  Dionysius  names  the  witness  Julius,  and 
says  he  was  a  country  farmer:  though  our  poet  has  e.xalted  him 
to  the  rank  of  a  senator.  In  succeeding  times,  when  it  became 
fashionable  to  deify  the  emperors  and  tlieir  wives,  some  one  was 
actually  bribed  to  swear,  previously  to  the  ceremony,  that  he 
had  seen  the  departed  person  ascending  into  heaven.  Hence, 
on  the  consecration  coins,  we  (ind  a  person  mounted  on  an  eagle, 
or  peacock,  or  drawn  upwards  in  a  chariot 

t  Richard  ('romwell,  the  eldest  son  of  Oliver,  succeeded  him 
in  the  protectorship  ;  b-it  had  neither  capacity  nor  courage  sutH- 
cicnt  for  the  situation. 

J  See  I'iirt  i.  canto  i.  1.  9-5,  where  he  rides  the  state  ;  but  here 
the  state  ride?  him. 

§  Meaning  the  commitlee  of  sifety.  ?ee  Lord  Clarendon,  vol 
lii.  I),  wi.  p.  .■>44,  anil  Ha.xter's  Lile.  p.  74. 

Ii  'i'liey  Hiunded  their  hopes  on  Revelation  i.  G,  and  v.  10 

If  Some  sectaries  thonghl,  that  all  law  proceedings  should  be 
abolished,  all  law-books  burnt,  and  that  the  law-  of  the  Lord 
Jesus  should  be  received  alone. 

**  At  liberty  to  erect  free  slates  and  coinnninities,  like  the  can 
tons  of  Switzerland,  or  'he  Hans-towns  of  Germany;  or,  in 
"hort.  to  establish  any  polity  which  theit  holy  zea.  might  tiiid 
^reeable. 


>.»0  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  m 

Of  John  of  Lcyden's  old  oiit-goi.igs,» 

Who  for  a  wcutlirr-cock  liinifr  up 

Ui)on  tlieir  tnother-chiircirs  top, 

Whs  made  a  type  by  Providence, 

Of  all  tlieir  revelations  since,  25C 

And  now  fulfilFd  by  liis  successors, 

Who  equally  mistook  tlieir  measures  ; 

For  when  they  came  to  shape  the  model, 

Not  one  could  fit  another's  noddle ; 

Dut  found  their  lij,.  t  and  gifts  more  wide  253 

From  fadging,  than  ih'  unsaiictify'd, 

While  ev'ry  individual  brother 

Strove  hand  to  fist  against  another, 

And  still  the  maddest,  and  most  crackt, 

Were  found  the  busiest  to  transact  ;t  2GC 

For  tho'  most  hands  dispatch  apace, 

And  made  light  work,  the  jiroverb  says. 

Yet  many  diff  rent  intellects 

Are  found  t'  have  contrary  effects ; 

And  many  heads  t'  obstruct  intrigues,  265 

As  slowest  insects  have  most  legs. 

Some  were  for  setting  up  a  king, 
But  all  the  rest  for  no  such  thing. 
Unless  king  Jesus  :t  others  tampi?r"d 
For  Fleetwood,  Desborough,  and  Lambert  ;§  270 

Some  for  the  rump,  and  some  more  crafty. 
For  agitators,  and  the  safety  ;1| 


*  John  Bnckhold,  or  Bokclson,  a  tailor  of  Leyden,  was  ring- 
leader of  a  furious  tribe  of  AnaUaptisls,  wild  iiiiide  Ihciiiselvos 
masters  of  the  city  of  Munster,  where  they  iiroclaiiiied  a  ciiiii 
■nullity  both  of  goods  and  women.  Tliis  new  Jerusalem,  as  Ihcy 
Jiad  named  it,  was  retalteii,  after  a  long  siege,  by  its  bishop  and 
sovereign  count  W.ildeck  ;  and  John,  with  two  of  liis  associ- 
ates, WHS  suspended  in  an  iron  cage  on  the  highest  tower  of  the 
city.    Tliis  liappened  about  the  year  ]'>'M. 

t  A  very  sensible  observation,  wliich  lias  been  justified  too 
freiiuently  in  other  instances. 

t  "'rhe  tiflh  monarchy  men,"  as  Dishop  Burnet  says,  "seem- 
ed daily  to  e.\pect  the  appearance  of  Clirist."  I\lr.  Carew,  one 
of  the  king's  judges,  would  not  plead  to  his  Indictment  when 
brimght  to  trial,  till  he  had  entered  a  salvo  for  the  jurisdiction  o< 
Jesus  Christ:  "saving  to  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ  li^s  right  to  the 
"  government  of  these  kingdoms." 

^  Fleetwood  was  son-in-laiv  to  Cromwell,  having  married 
Ireton's  v/idow.  He  was  made  lord-deputy  of  Ireland,  and  lieu- 
tenant-general of  the  army.  Desliorougli  married  one  of  Crom- 
well's sisters,  and  became  a  colonel,  ami  general  at  sea.  I.am 
>ert  was  the  person  who,  as  Ludlow  tells  us,  was  always  kepi 
tn  expectation  bv  (,'roHiwell  of  succeeding  him,  and  was  indeed 
he  best  qualified  for  it. 

II  Some  were  for  restoring  the  remnant  of  the  long  jarUament 


:Avro  i;.]  IIUDIBRAS.  3ftl 

Sonic  for  the  gospel,  and  inassacn'j 

Of  spiritual  aflulavit-makors,* 

Tiiut  swore  to  any  liiimaii  rcfjenco  27S 

Oatlis  of  suprcrn'cy  and  allegiance  ; 

Yea,  the'  the  ablest  swearing  saii\t, 

That  voucli'd  the  bidls  o'  th'  covenant: 

Others  fur  jnilling  down  th'  higli  i)laces 

Of  synods  and  i)rovincial  classes,!  ii80 

That  iis'd  lo  make  sncli  hostile  inroads 

Ilpoii  llic  saints,  like  bloody  Ninirods; 

Some  for  fulfilling  prophecies, t 

And  th'  extirpation  of  th'  excise  ; 

And  some  against  th'  Egyptian  bondage  28o 

Of  holidays,  and  paying  poundage  :§ 

Some  for  the  cutting  down  of  groves, |1 


wliich,  l.y  (lealhs,  exclusions,  and  ex|nilsions,  was  rciluced  to  a 
small  nuiiilier.  perhaps  forly  or  fifty,  and  tliereliiru  called  the 
riiinp.  Alter  the  king's  party  was  siihdued,  anil  the  parliament 
began  to  talk  of  disbanding  the  army,  or  sending  it  into  Ire- 
land, a  military  timncil  was  set  up,  (ainsisling  <il  tlie  thiet' offi- 
cer.-, like  the  lords,  and  a  number  of  deputies  from  the  inferior 
officers  and  conimim  soldiers,  like  the  cdinmons,  who  were  to 
meet  and  consult  on  the  interests  of  the  army.  These  were 
called  agitators,  and  the  chief  management  of  atlairs  seemed  to 
be  for  some  time  in  their  hands.  When  ljand)ert  had  broken 
the  rumi>  parliament  in  1(1.59,  the  officers  of  the  army,  joined  by 
gome  of  the  members,  agreed  lo  form  a  conunittee  of  safety,  as 
they  called  it,  consisting  of  between  twenty  and  lliirty  persons, 
who  were  to  assume  the  government,  and  provide  for  the  safety 
of  the  kingdom. 

*  Some  were  for  abolishing  all  laws  but  what  were  e.xpressed 
in  the  words  of  the  gospel :  lor  destroying  all  magistracy  and 
government,  and  for  extirpating  those  who  should  endeavor  to 
uphold  it;  and  of  those  VV'hitelock  alleges,  that  he  acted  as  a 
member  of  the  committee  of  safety,  because  so  many  were  for 
abolishing  all  order,  that  the  nation  was  like  to  run  into  the  ut- 
most confusion.  The  agitators  wished  to  destroy  all  records, 
and  the  courts  of  jusiice. 

t  They  wished  to  see  an  end  of  the  Presbyterian  hierarchy. 

t  Th.it  is,  pernaps.  l"or  taking  arms  against  the  pope. 

^  On  theHiliof  June,  1G47,  an  ordinance  v\ns  published  through 
oui  Knglaml  and  Wales  to  abolish  festivals,  .and  allow  the  sec 
ond  Tuesday  in  every  month  to  scholars,  apprentices,  and  ser 
vants,  for  their  recreation.  The  taxes  imposed  by  the  parlia 
meat  were  numerous  and  heavy,  a  pound  rate  was  levied  on  all 
personal  properly,     for  poiindaire,  see  Clarendon,  vol.  i.  fol.  200. 

II  That  is,  for  destroying  the  ornaments  of  churches,  which 
they  supposed  to  be  marks  of  idolatry  and  superstition.  Mr.  Gos- 
ling, in  his  Walk  about  Canterbury,  p.  I9.'{,  tells  a  story  of  one 
Richard  Calmer,  a  minister  of  God's  word,  and  M.  A.,  who  de- 
molished a  rich  window  of  painted  glass,  and  published  an  ac 
;Gnnt  of  his  exploit;  yet  without  noticing  the  following  occur- 
rence :  "  While  he  was  laying  about  him  with  great  zeal  and  ar- 
■*  dour,  a  townsman  looking  on,  asked  him  what  he  was  doini  1 


362  flUDIBRAS.  [P^aT  m 

And  rcftifving  bakers'  loaves  ; 

And  sonio  for  findinor  out  expedients 

Against  the  slav'ry  of  obedience  :  290 

Some  were  for  gospel-ministers, 

And  some  for  red-coat  seculars,* 

As  men  most  fit  t'  bold  forth  the  word, 

And  wield  the  one  and  th'  other  sword  :t 

Some  were  for  carrying  on  the  work  S»3 

Against  the  poj)e,  and  some  the  Turk : 

Some  for  eiiga^ring  to  suppress 

The  camisado  of  surplices, t 

That  gifts  and  dii-pensations  liinder'd, 

And  turn'd  to  th'  outward  man  the  inward  ;^  305 

More  proper  for  the  cloudy, night 

Of  popery  than  gospcl-liglit : 

Others  were  for  auolisbing 

Tliat  tool  of  matrimony,  a  rin'j:,]| 

With  whicli  til'  unsanctify'd  bridegroom  30S 

Is  marry'd  only  to  a  thumb,11 


"'  I  am  d)infr  the  work  of  the  Lord,'  said  ho.  'Then,'  replied 
"  (he  other.  '  if  it  please  the  Lord  1  will  lielp  you  ;'  and  threw  a 
'•  stone  with  so  jiood  a  will,  tliat  if  tiie  saint  had  not  dnclied,  he 
"  might  have  laid  liis  own  bones  among  the  rulihish  he  was  nia 
"  king.  N.  B.  He  was  then  monnted  on  a  ladder  si.xly  feet  high." 
It  is  well  known  that  groves  were  anciently  made  use  of  as  pla 
ces  of  worsliip.  The  rows  of  clustered  pillars  in  our  gothic  ca 
thedrals.  branching  out  and  meeting  at  top  in  long  drawn  arches, 
lire  supposed  to  liave  been  suggested  by  the  venerable  groves  of 
our  ancestors. 

*  Some  petitioned  for  the  continuance  and  maintenance  of  a 
gospel  ministry.  Some  thought  that  laymen,  and  even  soldiers, 
might  pi;each  the  word,  as  some  of  them  did,  particularly  Crom 
well  ami  Ireton. 

tThe  sword  of  the  spirit,  which  is  the  word  of  God.  Ephe- 
sians  vi.  17. 

t  Some  .sectaries  had  a  violent  .iversion  to  the  surplice,  which 
they  called  a  rag  of  popt-ry.  Caiiiisndo  or  cumi.ia.de,  is  an  expe- 
dition by  night,  in  which  the  soldiers  sometimes  wear  their  shirts 
over  the  rest  of  their  clothes,  that  they  may  be  distinguished  bv 
Iheir  comrades. 

ij  Transferred  the  purity  which  should  remain  in  the  heart,  to 
the  vestment  on  tlie  Ixck. 

II  Persons  contncting  matrimony  were  to  publish  their  inten- 
tions in  the  ne.vt  town,  <m  three  market  days,  and  afterwards  the 
contract  was  to  be  certified  by  a  justice  of  the  peace  :  no  ring 
was  used. 

ir  The  word  thuml  is  used  for  the  sake  of  rhyme,  the  ring 
being  put  by  the  bridPLToom  upon  the  fourth  finger  of  the  wo- 
man's left  hand.  This  is  a  very  ancient  custom,  and  not  iin 
known  to  the  Greeks  ami  Romans.  Manv  whimsical  reason.s 
are  given  for  it.  We  are  told  by  Aulus  Geliius.  Noct.  Attic,  lib 
f.  ch.  10,  that  fr<iui  this  finger  there  goes  a  most  delicate  nerve 
'O  the  heart :   but  our  ancestors  were  very  fonil  of  wearing 


Canto  ii.I  IIUDIBRaS.  383 

As  wise  as  ringin<j  of  a  pig, 

That  iis'd  to  break  u\)  grouiul,  and  dig  ; 

The  bride  to  uotiiiiig  but  licr  "  will,"* 

1'hat  nulls  the  after-marriage  still  :  310 

Some  were  for  tli'  utter  exlirpatif  i 

Of  linsey-woolsey  iu  tlic  natiou  ;"/ 

And  some  against  all  idolizing 

The  cross  in  siiop-books,  or  baptizing  :t 

Others  to  make  all  things  recant  'JIS 


tlniiiib-riiigs  :  abbots  were  (ronerally  buried  wilb  Iberii,  in  token 
oClheir  connection,  or  iii.trriii>.'e,  with  the  religions  house  over 
which  tliey  presided,  fin  early  times  the  tbuiiil)  w.is  used  as  a 
seal,  (see  I)u  Canije,)  IIS  it  is  to  this  day  in  attestations ;  from 
thence  the  serJ.  ring  was  worn  upon  the  thnuil),  which  affords 
perhaps  the  best  reason  for  al)bots  beinj;  buried  with  theni.  But 
in  the  text  it  woiijd  seem  that  soinelhing  more  is  meant  than 
meets  the  ear:  fur  Butler  witli  liis  facility  of  versification  would 
never  have  sriven  such  a  rhyme  for  the  rhyme's  sake  merely. 
The  following  extract  from  No.  614  of  the  Spectator  seems  to 
throw  a  glimmer  on  the  passage:  "  Before  I  speak  of  widows,  I 
"  cannot  but  observe  one  tiling,  which  I  <lo  not  know  how  to  ac- 
"  count  for;  a  widow  is  always  more  sought  after  than  an  old 
"  maid  of  the  same  age.  It  is  connnon  enough  among  orilinary 
"  people  for  a  sttile  virgin  to  set  up  a  shop  in  a  place  where  she 
"  is  not  known  ;  where  the  larrre  thumb  rinir,  supposed  to  be  giv- 
"  en  her  by  her  husband,  quickly  recommends  her  to  some 
•'  wealthy  neighbor,  who  tikes  a  liking  to  the  jolly  widow,  that 
"would  have  overlooked  the  venerable  spinster."  Falstaff  says  : 
["I  could  liave  crept  into  any  aUIernian's  thumb-ring.'"] 
*  Mr.  Warburton  thinks  this  an  equivoque,  alluding  to  the 
response  which  the  bride  makes  in  the  marriage  ceremony — "  I 
•.vill."     Mr.  Butler  in  his  Genuine  Remains,  vol.  i.  p.  246,  says  : 

The  sonls  of  wouien  are  so  small, 

That  some  believe  Ih'  have  none  at  all  ; 

Or,  if  they  have,  like  cripples,  still, 

Th'  ave  but  one  faculty,  the  will. 
t  Were  for  judaizing.    The  Jewish  law  forbids  the  use  of  a 
garment  made  of  linen  and  woollen.     I,ev.  xix.  19. 

t  'I'he  Presbyterians  ihouL'ht  it  superstitions  and  popish  to  use 
the  sign  of  the  cross  in  baptism  ;  or,  even  for  tradesmen  to  make 
fv  cross  in  their  books,  as  a  sign  of  payment,  ftlr.  Warbnrton 
thinks  the  lines  may  refer  to  a  proposal  which  was  made  by 
some,  for  spungi::j  all  public  debts:  and  perhaps,  it  is  a  sneer 
upon  the  Anabaptists,  who  called  themselves  liberi  homines,  anj 
prelendeil  they  were  m:ide  free  by  Christ,  from  payment  of  all 
taxes  and  debts :  and  souic  Presbyterians  made  this  a  pretence 
hr  not  paying  their  private  debt<,  lest  they  should  give  occasion 
to  the  making  ofcros-es,  and  so  be  promoters  of  idolatry.  Buller 
unites  the  most  trivial  with  the  most  important  objects  of  re- 
formation proposed  by  the  fanatic  republicans  of  that  time,  and 
means,  that  as  the  original  nonconformisLs  objecled  to  the  sign 
of  the  cross  in  baptism,  so  now  their  successors  carried  their 
iversion  to  that  once  venerated  form  to  such  an  extreme  as  to 
call  it  idolatrous,  when  only  used  to  cross  out  paltry  debts  in  a 
'tradesman's  ledger-book. 


384  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  in 

The  rhristiun  or  sirnaine  of  saint,* 

And  force  all  churches,  streets,  and  towns, 

The  lioly  title  to  renounce ; 

Some  'jrainsl  a  third  estate  of  souls, 

And  bringinjr  down  the  price  of  coals  ;t  32C 

Some  for  aboh.^hing  black-pudding, 

And  eating  nothing  with  the  blood  in  ;t 

To  abrogate  them  roots  and  '^  ranches, § 

While  others  were  for  eating  haunches 

Of  warriors,  and  now  and  then,  325 

The  llcsh  of  kings  and  mightv  men  ;|1 

And  some  for  breaking  of  their  bones 

AVith  rods  of  iron, IT  by  secret  ones;** 

For  thrashing  mountains,  and  with  spells 

For  hallowing  carriers'  packs  and  bells  ;tt  330 

Things  that  the  legend  never  heard  of, 

But  made  the  wicked  sore  afraid  of.tt 


*  Streets,  parishes,  ch\irches,  and  even  the  aiiostles  them 
selves,  were  uiisainled  tor  eight  or  ten  years  preceding  the  res 
toration.    See  the  Spectator,  No.  12J. 

t  1'he  first  line  may  allude  to  the  intermediate  or  middle 
Slate,  in  which  some  supposed  the  soul  to  continue  from  the 
lime  of  its  leaving  the  hody  to  the  resurrection  ;  or  else  it  may 
allude  to  the  popish  doctrine  of  purgatory.  The  former  suliject 
was  warmly  discussed  about  this-time.  The  exorbitant  price  of 
coals  was  tiicn  loudly  complained  of.  Sir  Arthur  flazleripg  laid 
a  ta.\  of  four  shillings  a  chaldr<in  upon  Newcastle  coals,  when 
he  was  governor  there.  Many  petitions  were  presented  against 
the  tax ;"  and  various  schemes  proposed  for  reducing  the  price 
of  them.    Shakspeare  says : 

A  pair  of  tribunes  that  have  snck'd  f  lir  Rome 

To  make  coals  cheap.  Coriolanus,  Act  v.  sc.  1. 

}  The  jndaizing  sect. 

^  This  line  seems  unconnected  with  the  preceding,  and  I  am 
inclined  to  Ihink  it  misplaced.  Clarendon  mentions  a  set  of 
men,  who  were  called  root  and  branch  men,  in  opposition  toothers 
who  were  of  nxire  moderate  principles.  To  abrogate,  that  Is, 
that  they  might  utlrrly  abrogate  or  renounce  everything  that 
had  blood,  while  others  were  for  eating  haunches,  alluding  to 
Kevelation  xix.  18.  "'That  ye  migli:  eal  the  flesh  of  kings, 
"and  the  flesh  of  captains,  and  the  flesh  of  mighty  men,  and  the 
"flesh  of  horses,  and  of  them  that  sit  on  them,  an<l  the  flesh  of 
'all  men,  both  free  and  bond,  both  small  and  great." 

II  Expecting,  perhajjs,  the  completion  of  the  text.  Rev.  xix.  18. 

If  Ridiculing  the  practice,  so  con'uion  in  those  days,  of  ex- 
/iressing  every  sentiment  In  terms  of  Scripture.  He  alludes 
perhaps  to  I'salm  ii.  9;  Isaiah  xli.  1.5,  and  Kevelation  xix.  J5. 

**  Thus  in  the  83d  Psalm  and  2d  verse,  "  .And  taken  counsel 
"against  thy  secret  ones:"  it  is  thus  translated  in  their  favorite 
topy  of  Geneva.  See  this  expression  used  v.  681,  OS)?,  and  706 
of  this  cf.nto. 

♦t  See  Zechariah  xiv.  20. 

XX  Tilings  which  the  Scriptures  never  intended,  but  whicb 


':anto  11.]  IIUDIBRAS.  386 

Tlic  quacks  of  {Toveninicnt,*  who  sate 
At  tir  iinrcijurdcil  lioliii  of  stale. 

And  liiidi'istood  lliis  wild  confusion  335 

Of  fatal  inudncss  and  delusion, 
Must,  sooner  than  a  prodigy, 
Portend  destruction  to  be  iiiirli, 
Consider'd  timely  how  t'  witlidraw, 
And  save  their  wind-pipes  from  the  law  ;  340 

P'or  one  rencounter  ;it  the  bar 
Was  worse  than  all  they  'ad  'scap'd  ia  war: 
And  therefore  met  ia  consultation 
To  cant  and  quack  upon  the  nation  ; 
Not  for  the  sickly  patient's  sake,  345 

Nor  what  to  give,  but  what  to  take  ; 
To  feel  the  pulses  of  their  fees, 
More  wise  than  fumbling  arteries  ; 
Prolong  the  snuff  of  life  in  pain, 
And  from  the  grave  recover — gain.  350 

'Moag  these  there  was  a  politician, 
With  more  heads  than  a  beast  in  vision, + 
And  more  intrigues  ia  every  one 
Tiian  all  the  wliores  of  ]3abyloa  ; 
!So  politic,  as  if  one  eye  355 

Upon  the  other  were  a  spy,t 
That  to  trepan  the  one  to  think 

the  wicked,  tliiit  is  the  warriors,  kings,  and  niif;hty  men,  were 
afraid  of,  lest  they  should  break  their  hones  and  e.a  their  flesh. 

*  These  were  Mr.  Hollis.  Sir  Aiuhony  Ashley  Cooper,  Grim- 
stone,  Aiinesley,  Manchester,  Roberts,  and  olliers;  who  per- 
ceiving tliat  Kichard  Cromwell  was  unable  to  conduct  the 
governmenl,  and  that  the  various  schemers  who  daily  started 
up  would  divide  the  party,  and  facilitate  the  restoration  of  the 
royal  family,  thoushl  it  prudent  to  take  care  of  themselves,  and 
secure  their  own  interests  with  as  nuich  haste  as  possible. 

i  Sir  Anlhony  Ashley  Cooper,  afterwards  earl  of  Shaltesbury. 
See  Uisbop  Burnet's  character  of  him  in  the  history  of  liis  own 
tunes.  In  l(i(iO,  Ashley  Cooper  was  named  one  of  the  twelve 
iiieujbers  of  the  house  of  conuuons  to  carry  their  invitation  to 
the  king  ;  and  it  was  in  perl'orming  this  service  that  he  was  over- 
urned  on  the  road,  and  received  a.  dangerous  wound  between 
'.he  ribs,  which  ulcerated  many  years  after,  and  was  opened  when 
he  was  lord-chancellor;  hence,  and  from  an  absurd  defamation 
that  he  had  the  vanity  to  e.xpect  to  be  chosen  king  of  I'oland,  he 
was  called  Tapsky  ;  others,  from  his  general  conduct,  nicknamed 
him  Shifteshury. 

Willi  mure /lends  than  a  beast  in  vision.  Than  the  beasl  with 
seven  heads  and  ten  horns,  in  the  Kevelation. 

X  I-ord  .<haftesbury  ha<l  weak  eyes,  and  squinted.  lie  had 
other  disoiib^rs,  which  are  menlioned  in  the  Music  Anglicanaj, 
and  in  Butler's  Remains,  vol.  ii.  p. :t()9.  "lie  is  inliniatc  with  no 
"man,  but  his  pimp  and  tis  surgeon.  '  Character  of  an  unda- 
serving  favorite 


360 


36S 


3^5  IIUDIBRAS.  [Partil 

The  fillier  blind,  bdth  strove  to  blink  ; 

And  ill  his  dark  prLigmalic  way, 

As  busy  as  a  child  at  play. 

He  'ad  seen  three  jjovernments  run  down, 

And  had  a  hand  in  ev'ry  one  ; 

Was  for  'em,  and  against  'cm  all. 

But  barb'roiis  when  they  came  to  fall : 

For  by  trepanning  th'  old  to  ruin, 

He  made  his  interest  with  the  new  one  ; 

Piay'd  true  and  faithful,  tho'  against 

His  conscience,  and  was  still  advanc'd : 

For  by  the  witchcraft  of  rebellion 

Transform'd  t'  a  feeble  state-camelion,t  370 

By  giving  aim  from  side  to  side. 

He  never  fail'd  to  save  his  tide, 

But  got  the  start  of  ev'ry  state. 

And  at  a  change,  ne'er  came  too  late  ; 

Could  turn  his  word,  and  oath,  and  faith,  37S 

As  many  ways  as  in  a  lath  ; 

By  turning,  wriggle,  like  a  screw, 

In't'  highest  trust  and  out  for  new  • 

For  when  he  'ad  happily  incurr'd. 

Instead  of  hemp,  to  be  preferr'd,  380 

And  pass'd  upon  a  government,! 

He  piay'd  his  trick,  and  out  he  went ; 

But  being  out,  and  out  of  hopes 


*  Those  of  the  king,  the  parliament,  and  the  protector.    First 
he  was  high  sheriff  of  llorselshire,  governor  of  VVeyinoulh,  and 
raised  some  forces  for  the  king's  service.    Next  he  joined  the 
parliament,  took  the  covenant,  and  was  made  colonel  of  a  regi- 
ment of  horse.    Afterwards  he  was  a  very  busy  person  in  set- 
ting up  Cromwell  to  be  lord  protector  ;  and  then  again  was  quite 
as  active  in  deposing  Uichard,  and  restoring  the  rump.    Uishop 
Uurnet  says  of  him,  that  he  was  not  ashamed  to  reckon  up  the 
many  turns  h6  had  made,   and  valued   himself  upon  effecting 
llieiii  at  the  properest  season,  and  in  the  best  manner: 
For  close  designs  and  crooked  counsels  fit. 
Sagacious,  bohl,  and  turbulent  of  wit; 
llestless,  unfix'd  in  principles  and  place, 
111  power  unpleas'd,  impatient  of  disgrace  : 
In  friendship  false,  implacable  in  hate, 
Rtsolv'd  to  ruin,  or  to  rule  the  state. 

Absalom  and  Achithophel. 

t  The  cameliou  is  said  to  assume  the  color  of  the  nearest  o\ 
ject.  i;ee  a  treatise  with  this  title  among  the  works  of  Bu 
chanan,  at  the  end  of  the  first  volume,  printed  in  17C3,  writte* 
lo  traduce  Secretary  Maitland,  alias  Lethinglon,  a  politician  o( 
tiinilar  talents. 

t  That  is,  passed  himself  upon  the  tjo^crnment. 


Camto  II.:  IIUDIBRAS.  39" 

To  niomit  his  ladder,  more,  of  ropes,* 

Would  strive  to  raise  himself  upon  3Ri 

Tiie  [)ub!ic  ruin,  and  liis  own  ; 

So  little  did  he  understand 

The  desp'rate  feats  he  took  in  hand. 

For  when  he'ad  got  himself  a  name 

l''or  frauds  and  tricks  he  sj)oird  his  game  ;  39 ) 

Had  forc'd  his  neck  into  a  noose, t 

To  shew  his  play  at  fast  and  loose  ; 

And,  when  he  chanc'd  t'  escape,  mistook, 

For  art  and  subtlety,  his  luck. 

So  right  his  judgment  was  cut  fit,  393 

And  made  a  tally  to  his  wit, 

And  both  together  most  ])rofound 

At  deeds  of  darkness  under  ground  ; 

As  th'  earth  is  easiest  undermin'd. 

By  vermin  impotent  and  blind. t  400 

By  all  these  arts,  and  many  more, 
He  'ad  practis'd  long  and  much  before, 
Our  state-artificer  foresaw 
Which  w.iy  the  world  began  to  draw  : 
For  as  old  sinneis  have  afl  points  405 

O'  til'  com[)ass  in  their  bones  and  joints, 
Can  by  their  pangs  and  aches  find 
All  turns  and  changes  of  the  wind, 
And  better  than  by  Napier's  bones, § 
Feel  in  their  own  the  age  of  moons  ;  410 

So  guilty  sinners,  in  a  state, 
Can  by  their  crimes  prognosticate. 
And  in  their  consciences  feel  pain 
Some  days  before  a  show'r  of  rain 
He  therefore  wisely  cast  about  415 

All  ways  he  could  t'  ensure  his  throat, 
And  hither  came,  t'  observe  and  smoke 
What  courses  other  riskers  look. 


*  It  was  in  clandestine  designs,  such  as  house-breaking  nni 
tne  like,  that  rope  ladders  were  chiefly  used  in  our  poet's  time. 

t  rerhaps  it  would  he  better  if  tor  hnd.  we  read  and,  iir  he. 

X  'ilie  poet  pnibtUly  means  earthworms,  which  are  still  nioro 
imp'itf  nt  and  blind  than  moles. 

^  Lord  Napier  was  one  of  the  first  estahlishers  of  the  Roy.al 
Society,  a  very  considerable  mathematician,  inventor  of  log- 
arithms, and  dl' certain  pieces  of  wood  or  ivory  with  numbers  on 
(hem,  with  which  he  performed  arithmetical  and  geometrical 
calculations,  and  these  were  called  Napier's  bones.  See  Lilly's 
History  of  his  own  Life  and  'J'imes,  p.  105,  where  he  is  callwl 
Lord  Marchiston. 


39S  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  m 

And  io  the  utmost  do  liis  best 

To  s;ive  liiiiKsi'lf,  and  hang  the  rest.  42« 

To  match  tliis  saint  thire  was  auother, 
As  busy  and  perverse  a  brotlier,* 
An  huberdaslier  of  small  warest 
In  politics  and  state  afl'airs  ; 

More  Jew  tiian  rabbi  Aciiithophcl.t  42S 

And  better  giftml  to  rebel  ; 
For  when  h"  had  taught  his  tribe  t'  spouse 
The  cause,  aloft  ujwn  one  house, 
He  scorn'd  to  set  liis  own  in  order, 
But  try'd  another,  and  went  further  ;  43C 

So  suddenly  addicted  still 
To  's  only  jM'incipie,  his  will, 
That  whatsoe'er  it  ohanc'd  to  prove, 
No  force  of  argument  could  move. 


*  The  old  annoiaior  aiiplies  this  character  to  the  famous  John 
[iilltourn  ;  ami  indeed  il  rescmliles  him  in  many  res|>ects.  But 
ihe  time  of  Uio  ailidn  in  tliis  liiiili)  immediately  precedes  the 
Resloralion,  IWiO.  and  Lilb<iurn  ditd  Aufiust -JS,  lGo7.  The  ap- 
parent ana<;l:iiinisiM  may  show  that  Butler  did  not  desire  to  be 
understood  ol"  I.illiourn  or  Shaftesbury,  exclusively  of  others, 
though  doul)iless  the  character  of  lliose  two  men  furnished  him 
with  tlie  pnnripal  traits  in  the  two  pictures.  In  his  Remains, 
vol.  ii.  p.  -"-  are  two  speeches  pretended  Io  have  been  made  in 
the  rump  (ailiament,  ItiS'j.  one  ot"  them  by  a  I'resbyterian,  the 
other  by  an  liide|iendent.  They  maintain  the  same  sentiments 
with  the  folWiwiiig  debate,  but  have  no  personal  allusions  to 
mark  the  paitiiMilar  characters  of  the  two  speakers.  "The 
'•  reader,"  says  Mr.  Thye,  "  who  has  curiosity  enough  to  com- 
"  pare,  will  lind  a  frreal  similarity  of  argument  in  the  two  per- 
"  formances ;  and  that  Ihe  grave,  distinct  reasoning  in  the  serious 
••  invective,  serves  very  happily  to  illustrate  the  arch  and  satiri- 
"cal  drollery  of  the  poetical  banter."  Colonel  John  Lilbourn 
had  been  severely  censured  in  the  star-chamber,  for  dispersing 
seditious  pamphlets;  and  on  the  same  account  was  afterwards 
rewarded  by  the  parliament,  and  preferred  by  Cromwell.  But 
when  Cromwell  had  usurped  the  sovereign  i)ower,  LMbourn  for- 
sook him,  and  writing  and  speaking  vehemently  he  was  arraigned 
of  treason.  He  was  a  grand  leveller,  and  strong  opponent  of  all 
that  was  uppermost ;  a  man  of  such  an  inveterate  spirit  of  con- 
tradiction thatil  was  commonly  said  <if  him.  if  the  worlil  were 
emptied  of  all  hut  himself,  John  would  be  against  Lilbourn,  and 
Lilbourn  again.st  John.  Though  John  was  dead,  his  brother 
Robert  was  living,  and  figured  conspicuously.  But  perhaps  the 
poet  might  here  mean  some  one  more  considerable  tliau  Lil- 
bourn to  oppose  to  Ashley  Cooper. 

t  A  smatiercr  in  politics.  Lilbourn  had  been  bred  a  tradev 
man:  Lord  Clarendon  says  a  bookbinder;  Anthony  Wood 
makes  him  a  packer. 

t  Achithiiphel  was  one  of  David's  counsellors.  lie  joined  thti 
rebellious  Absalom,  and  assisted  him  with  \-CTy  artful  advice 
but  hangeil  himself  when  it  was  not  implicitly  followed.  2  Sam 
»el,  xvii.  'ZJ. 


IJanto  II.]  HUDIBRAS.  389 

Nor  luw,  nor  cavalcade  of  Ilo'born,*  135 

Could  render  half  a  grain  less  stubborn  ; 

for  he  at  any  time  would  hanjr, 

For  tir  opportunity  t'  harangue  ; 

And  rather  on  a  gibbet  dangle, 

Than  iniss  his  dear  delight,  to  wrangle  ;  440 

In  which  his  paits  were  so  accomplish'd, 

That,  right  or  wrong,  he  ne'er  was  non-plust : 

But  still  his  tongue  ran  on,  the  less 

Of  weight  it  bore,  with  greater  ease  ; 

And,  with  its  everlasting  clack,  445 

Set  all  men's  ears  upon  the  rack  ; 

No  sooner  could  a  hint  appear, 

But  up  he  started  to  picqueer,t 

And  made  the  stoutest  yield  to  mercy. 

When  he  engag'd  in  controversy  ;  450 

Not  by  the  force  of  carual  reason. 

But  indefatigable  teazing. 

With  voUies  of  eternal  bubble, 

And  clamour,  more  unanswerable : 

For  tho'  his  topics,  frail  and  weak,  455 

Cou'd  ne'er  amount  above  a  freak. 

He  still  maintain"d  'em,  like  his  faults, 

Against  the  desp'ralest  assaults  ; 

And  back'd  their  feeble  want  of  sense, 

AV^ith  greater  heat  aud  confidence  :t  4G0 

As  bones  of  Hectors,  when  they  differ, 

The  more  they  're  cudgell'd,  grow  the  stiffer.§ 

Yet  when  this  profit  moderated, || 

The  fury  of  his  heat  abated  ; 

For  nothing  but  his  interest  46£ 

Could  lay  his  devil  of  contest : 

It  was  his  choice,  or  chance,  or  curse, 


*  When  criminals  were  executed  iit  Tyburn,  thny  were  gener 
ally  conveyed  in  carts,  \>y  the  shcrifTutid  his  auen<lants  nn  horsc- 
liack,  from  Newcale,  along  Snow-hill,  H()ll)orn-hill,  Hdllicirn, 
High  Holborn,  Broad  St.  Giles's,  Oxford-street,  and  Tyburn 
road. 

T  In  a  conference  with  .Tames  II.,  held  wun  Burnet  on  the  sub- 
lect  of  religion,  James  said  "lie  had  piqueered  with  Sheldon 
"and  Morley,  and  found  them  nearer  to  pupery  than  the  young 
"  divines  :"  it  is  a  military  term,  and  signifies  to  skirmish. 

t  When  Lilbourii  was  arraigned  for  treason  against  Cromwell, 
be  pleaded  at  his  trial,  that  no  treason  could  be  committed 
against  such  a  government,  and  what  he  had  dune  was  in  de- 
fence of  the  liberties  of  his  couii'ry. 

6  A  pun  upon  the  word  stifl'er. 

\\  V\'hen  liis  interest  swayed  and  governed  him.  Moderattd 
fa  a  verb  active. 


iOO 


IIUDIBRAS.  [P/RT  m 


T'  espouse  l!ie  cause  for  better  or  worse, 

And  with  h\^  worldly  gowis  and  wit, 

And  soul  and  body  worsiiijijj'd  it  :*  47C 

But  wlu'u  lio  found  tlio  suik'ii  trapes 

Possess'd  witli  til'  devil,  worms,  and  claps: 

The  Trojun  marc,  in  foal  with  Greeks, 

Not  half  so  full  of  jadish  tricks. 

The'  squeamish  in  her  oulwanl  woman,  475 

As  loose  and  rampant  as  Doll  Common -jt 

He  still  resolv'd  to  mend  the  matter, 

T'  adhere  and  cleave  the  obstinater ; 

And  still  the  fckittislicr  and  looser 

Her  freaks  ajipeared,  to  sit  the  closer:  480 

For  fools  are  stubborn  in  their  way, 

As  coins  are  liarden'd  by  lli"  allay  : 

And  obstinacy's  ne'er  so  stilT, 

As  when  'tis  in  a  wrong  belief.! 

These  two,  with  others,  being  inet,^  183 

And  close  in  consultation  set. 
After  a  discontented  pause. 
And  not  without  sufHcient  cause. 
The  orator  we  mention'd  late. 

Less  troubled  with  the  pangs  of  state,  49C 

Than  with  his  own  impatience, 
To  give  himself  first  audie-.ice, 
After  he  had  awhile  look'd  wise, 
At  last  broke  silence,  and  the  ice. 

Quoth  he,  Tliere's  notliing  makes  me  doubt       495 
Our  last  outgoings  brought  about, 
More  than  to  see  the  cliaracters 
Of  real  jealousies  and  fears 
Not  feign'd,  as  once,  but  sadly  horrid,!! 


*  Alluding  to  the  words  in  the  office  of  matrimony  :    "'Witli 
"  my  body  1  thee  worsliiji,  and  with  ail  my  worldly  goods  1  thee 
"  en<low." 
t  A  prostitute  in  Hen  Jonson's  |il»y  called  The  A'.chymist. 
t  The  siinic  sentiment  is  dilJcrenlly  cvpressctl  in  the  Keiimins 
Voi.  i.  p.  181 : 

For  as  implicit  faith  is  far  more  stifT. 
Than  that  which  underslands  its  own  beiief: 
S?o  those  tiiiit  think,  and  do  l.iU  lliiiik,  llicy  know 
.\re  far  inorj  olistinate  than  llKxe  lliat  do: 
And  more  r  verse,  than  il'they  'd  ne'er  been  taiigh: 
A  wrong  way,  to  a  right  one  to  lie  brought. 
^  A  cabal  met  at  Whitehall,  at  the  same  lime  that  General 
51oiik  dined  willi  the  rliy  of  l.ondon. 

jj  Not  feigned  and   prelended  as  formerly,  in  the  beginning  ol 
the  parliauienl   wlien  they  stirred  up  tli.e  people  agamsl  Ih* 


Cani-o  II.]  IHJDIBllAS.  391 

S(5or'<l  upon  ev'ry  member's  forehead;  .»0C 

Wlio,  'ciiuse  the  clouds  aro  drawn  tofrether, 

And  threaten  sudden  cliangu  of  weatlier, 

Feel  pann;.s  and  aches  of  state-turns, 

And  revolutions  in  their  corns  ; 

And,  since  our  workings-out  are  crost,*  50J 

Throw  uti  the  cause  before  'tis  lost. 

Was  it  to  run  away  we  meant, 

Who,  taking  of  tiio  covenant, 

I'ho  lamest  cri]iples  of  the  brothers 

Took  oaths  to  run  before  all  others,!  510 

Hut  in  their  own  sense,  onlj^  swore, 

To  strive  to  run  away  before. 

And  now  would  prove,  that  words  and  oath 

Engage  us  to  renounce  them  both  ? 

"I'is  true  the  cause  is  in  the  lurch,  5U 

Between  a  right  and  mongrel-church  ; 

The  presbyter  and  independent. 

That  stickle  which  shall  make  an  end  on't 

As  'twas  made  out  to  us  the  last 

E.vpedieul, — I  mean  IMarg'ret's  fast  ;t  520 

When  Providence  had  been  suborn'd. 

What  answer  was  to  bo  return'd  :§ 

kini;  liy  forginp;  letters,  sulinrnins  witnesses,  and  mrilting  an  out- 
cry of  strangle  plots  being  carried  on,  and  horritile  dangers  being 
at  hand.  I'or  instance,  the  people  were  incensed,  as  if  the 
papists  were  about  to  fire  their  houses,  and  cut  iheir  throats 
while  they  were  at  church  ;  as  if  troiips  of  soldiers  were  kept 
nnder  unmnd  to  do  execution  upon  them  ;  and  sometimes  as  if 
the  Thames  were  intended  to  l)e  blown  up  with  gunpowder,  to 
drown  or  choke  them.     Bates's  Elench.  Motiiuni. 

*  Ont-goings,  and  workin^'s-out,  were  cant  terms  in  frequent 
use  with  the  sectaries,  signifying  perhaps  their  endeavors,  and 
their  works. 

t  These  wore  the  words  used  in  the  solemn  league  and 
covenant,  "Our  true  and  unfeigned  purpose  is,  each  one  to  go 
"licfore  another  in  the  example  of  a  real  reformation." 

t  The  lectures  and  exercises  delivered  on  days  of  public  de- 
votion, were  called  expedients.  Besides  twenty-five  days  of 
solemn  fasting  and  humiliation  on  extraordinary  occasions,  there 
was  a  fast  kept  every  month  for  about  eight  years  together. 
The  comjnons  attended  divine  service  in  St  Margaret's  church, 
Westminster.  'I'he  reader  will  observe,  that  the  orator  does 
not  say  Saiut  Margaret's,  but  J\Iar»-ni-el's  fast.  Some  of  tho 
sectaries,  instead  of  Saint  Peter  or  Saint  Paul,  would  in  derision 
say,  Sir  Peter  and  Sir  l^aul.  The  pirlianient  petilione<l  the 
king  for  fasts  while  he  had  power,  and  afterwards  the  ai)pnint- 
ing  them  themselves  was  an  crpedicnt  they  iirifte  tise  of  to 
alarm  and  deceive  the  people,  vvlio,  upon  such  an  occasion, 
could  not  but  conclude  there  was  some  more  than  ordinary  ^n- 
jtending  danger,  or  some  important  business  carrying  on. 

Kf  These  sectiiries  pretended  a  great  I'amiliarily  with  heaven; 
and  when  any  villany  was  tn  '>e  transacted,  they  would  seem  in 


H)ii  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  it 

Else  wliy  should  tumults  fright  us  now, 

We  liave  so  inuiiy  times  {joue  tliro", 

And  understand  as  well  lo  tamo  525 

As  wlicn  tliey  serve  our  turns,  t'  inflame  • 

Have  prov'd  how  inconsiderable 

Are  all  enjragements  of  the  rubble, 

Whose  frenzies  must  be  reconcii'd 

With  drums,  and  rattles,  like  a  child,  530 

But  never  prov  d  so  prosperous, 

As  when  they  were  led  on  by  us  ; 

For  ail  our  scouring  of  religion 

Began  witii  tumults  and  sedition  ; 

W'iien  liurricanes  of  fierce  counnotiou  535 

Became  strong  motives  to  devotion  ; 

As  carnal  seamen,  in  a  storm. 

Turn  pious  converts,  and  reform, 

When  rusty  weapons,  with  chalk'd  edges, 

IMaintain'd  our  feeble  privileges,  5i0 

And  browu-bills  levy'd  in  the  city,* 


'heir  prayers  to  propose  their  doiihts  and  scruples  to  Cod  Al- 
mighty, and  at'ter  having  delnted  the  uialter  some  time  with 
him,  they  would  turn  their  discourse,  and  hring  forlh  an 
answer  suitable  to  iheir  designs,  which  the  people  were  to 
look  upon  as  suggested  Crom  heaven.  IJates's  Elench.  Mo 
tuum.  Il  was  an  observation  in  that  time,  that  the  first  publish- 
ing of  extraordinary  news  was  Crom  the  pulpit:  and  from  thp 
preacher's  text  and  discourse  the  hearers  might  judge,  and  com 
monly  Ibrcsaw  what  was  likely  to  be  done  next  in  the  parlia 
iiient  or  council  of  state,     l^ord  Clarendon. 

*  Apprentices  armed  wilh  occasional  weapons.  Ainsworth, 
in  his  Dictionary,  translates  sparuui,  a  brown  hill.  Bishop 
Warliurton  says,  lo  light  with  rusty  or  poisoneil  weapons,  (see 
Shakspeare's  llandet,)  was  against  the  law  of  arms.  So  when 
the  citizens  used  the  former,  they  chalked  the  edges.  Samuel 
Johnson,  in  the  octavo  edition  of  his  Dictionary,  says,  "  Brown- 
^'- bill  Wi\s  the  ancient  weapon  of  the  English  toot,"  so  called, 
perhaps,  because  sanguined  lo  prevent  the  rust:  thus  sportsmen 
often  serve  their  fowiing-pieces  to  |)rcvent  too  much  glitter,  as 
well  as  the  rust.  Blick-bill  seems  to  lie  the  opposite  term  to 
brown-bill.  See  Sir  ']'.  Warton's  life  of  Sir  T.  Tope,  p.  350, 
note.  The  common  epithet  for  a  sword,  or  otilnsive  weapon  iv 
the  old  metrical  romances,  is  brown  :  as  brown  br:ind.  or  brown 
sword,  brown  bill,  &c.,  and  sometimes  even  bright  brown 
5Wor<l.  Ciiaucer  applies  the  word  rustic  in  the  same  sense  :  he 
thus  describes  the  reve,  "  .^nd  by  his  side  he  bare  a  rustic  blade." 
\nd  again,  even  thus  the  god  Mars.  "And  in  his  hand  he 
■  had  a  rusty  sword."  Spenser  lias  sometimes  used  the  same 
Epithet.  See  Warton's  Observations,  vol.  ii.  p.  ti-i.  Perhaps 
3ur  ancestors  deemed  it  honorable  to  carry  Iheir  weapon.^ 
litaineJ  wilh  the  blood  of  their  enemies.  In  the  ballad  of 
Robin  Hooil,  and  Guy  of  Gisborne,  1.  148,  "with  blades  both 
brown  and  bright."  I'ercy's  Reliques,  p.  88.  See  verso  1508  oj 
Ibis  canto : 


Canto  ii.]  IIUDIBRAS.  393 

Made  bills  to  pass  tlio  gjraiid  ccininittce  : 

Wlicn  zeal,  witli  aged  clubs  and  gleaves,* 

Gave  chase  to  roclii^ts,  and  white  sleeves.t 

And  made  the  cliurch,  and  state,  and  laws,  513 

Submit  t'  old  iron,  and  the  cause 

And  as  we  thiiv'd  by  tumults  then, 

So  mighl  wc  better  now  agon, 

If  we  knew  how,  as  then  we  did, 

To  use  them  rightly  in  our  need :  550 

Tumults,  by  which  the  mutinous 

Betray  themselves  instead  of  us; 

The  iiollow-hearted,  disaffected. 

And  close  malignant  arc  detected; 

Who  lay  their  lives  and  fortunes  down,  iJ3 

For  pledges  to  secure  our  own  ; 

And  freely  sacrifice  their  eare 

T'  appease  our  jealousies  and  fears : 

And  yet,  for  all  these  providences, 

W  are  ofler'd,  if  we  have  our  senses,  5fiO 

We  idly  sit,  like  stupid  blockheads. 

Our  hands  committed  to  our  pockets, 

And  nothing  but  our  tongues  at  large, 

To  get  the  wretches  a  discharge : 

Like  men  condemii'd  to  thunder-bolts,  565 

Who,  ere  the  blow,  become  mere  dolts  ;t 

Or  fools  besotted  with  their  crimes, 

That  know  not  how  to  shift  betimes. 

And  neither  liave  the  hearts  to  stay. 


With  nevv-chalk'd  bills,  and  rusty  arms. 
Butler,  in   liis  MS.  Cninnion-plarc  bonk,  says,  "  The  confident 
"man's  wit  is  like  a  watchman's  bill  with  a  chalked  cdfie,  that 
"pretends  to  sharpness,  only  to  conceal  its  dull  bluntness  from 
"  the  public  view." 

*  Zealots  armed  with  old  clubs;  and  gle.avcs,  swords,  from 
the  Latin,  giaudis. 

t  Alderman  I'ennington,  with  some  hundred  of  the  rabble  at 
his  heels,  presented  a  petition  to  the  commons  si-incd  with  15,000 
names,  prayinj;  that  the  government  by  liishoi)s  might  be 
abolished.  Afterwards  the  apprentices  were  drawn  down  in 
great  numbers,  to  cry  out  at  the  parliament  doors.  No  bishops, 
No  bishops  !  By  which,  and  the  like  means,  the  bill  against  the 
bishoi-s  voting  in  parliament,  and  that  against  the  earl  of  Straf- 
ford, were  made  to  pass  the  houses,  and  obtain  the  royal 
assent. 

}  Home  of  the  ancients  were  of  opinion,  that  thunder  stupiff- 
fil  bctorc  it  killed.  See  Auuidan.  .Marcellin.  Vejovis  fulmine 
oiox  tangendos  adeo  hebetari,  vit  nee  lonitrum  nee  majorea 
3li(|Uos  possint  audire  fragores,  xvii.  10,  and  I'lin.  Nat.  Hist.  U. 
54.  I'erhaps  iho  niition  may  be  as  old  as  jEschylus:  see  his 
Prometheus. 


394 


IIUDIBRAS.  [PiRT  la 


Nor  wit  c-noiifrh  to  run  away  .  5"'^ 

Who,  if  we  could  resolve  on  eitlier, 

Might  stand  or  fall  at  least  together ; 

No  mean  or  trivial  solaces 

To  partners  in  extreme  distress,* 

Who  use  to  lessen  their  despairs,  575 

By  parting  Ihein  int'  equal  shares; 

As  if  t!ie  more  they  were  to  bear,t 

Tliey  felt  the  weight  the  easier; 

And  ev'ry  one  t!ie  gentler  hung, 

The  more  he  took  his  turn  among.  580 

But  'tis  not  come  to  that,  as  yet, 

If  we  had  courage  left,  or  wit. 

Who,  when  our  fate  can  be  no  worse, 

Are  fitted  for  tiie  bra\'^st  course, 

Have  time  to  rally,  and  prepare  585 

Our  last  and  best  defence,  despair  :t 

Despair,  by  whicli  the  gallant'st  feats 

Have  been  acliiev"d  in  greatest  straits, 

And  horrid'st  dangers  safely  wav'd, 

By  b'ing  courageously  outbrav'd  ;  500 

As  wounds  by  wider  wounds  are  heal'd. 

And  poisons  by  themselves  expelTd  :§ 

And  so  they  might  be  now  agen. 

If  we  were,  what  we  shou>ld  be,  men ; 

And  not  so  dully  desperate,  503 

To  side  against  ourselves  with  fate  : 

As  criminals,  condemn'd  to  suffer. 

Are  blinded  first,  and  then  turn'd  over. 

This  comes  of  breaking  covenants. 

And  setting  up  exempts  of  saints, ||  CM 

Tiiat  fine,  like  aldermen,  for  grace. 

To  be  excus'd  the  efficace  :^ 


*  Sdlanien  iniseris  socios  habuisse  rioloris. 

\  In  some  editions  ;  as  if  the  more  there  were  to  bear. 

t  Una  sains  victis  nuilim  ppcrare  salutem. 

$  Sneerins  Sir  Kenelni  Dijiby.  and  others,  who  assert  this  as  a 
fif't ;  indeeil,  oil  is  a  good  cure  of  the  serpent's  bite.  See  v.  1029 
if  this  canto. 

II  Dispensing,  in  particular  instances,  with  the  covenant  and 
.ililiL'Mtions. 

TT  Persons  who  are  nominated  to  an  office,  and  pay  the  accns 
innieil  fine,  are  entitled  to  the  sa  nc  privileges  as  if  they  had  per- 
formed the  service.  'J'hiis,  some  of  the  sectaries,  if  they  p:iid 
handsomely  were  deemed  saints,  and  full  of  grace,  though,  from 
the  tenor  of  their  lives,  they  merited  no  such  distinctiiHi,  com 
routlnu  fur  their  wnnt  of  real  urice,  tint  Ihey  might  be  excnsed 
Ui0  d/tidgery  of  yood  works,  for  spiritunl  men  are  loo  transcend 


(;anto  II.]  HUDIBRAS.  3U5 

p'or  s|)'iitiial  men  aro  too  tmnsccndcnt,* 

That  mount  tlii'ir  banks  for  iniJcpcndent,'t 

To  liMnir,  like  Mairniet,  in  the  air,t  005 

Or  St.  Ignatius,  at  his  prayer, § 

liy  pure  geometry,  and  liate 

1)<  [HMidtMico  upon  church  or  state  ; 

Disdain  the  pedantry  o'  th'  letter, 

And  eincc  obedience  is  belter,  010 

The  Scripture  says,  than  sacrifice. 

Presume  the  less  on't  will  suffico  ; 

And  scorn  to  have  the  moderat'st  stints 

Frescrib'd  their  peremptory  hints. 

Or  any  opinion,  true  or  false,  CIS 

Declar'd  as  such,  in  doctrinals  ; 

But  left  at  largo  to  make  their  best  on. 

Without  b'ing  call'd  t'  account  or  quest' on 

Interpret  all  the  spleen  reveals, 

As  VVhittingtoii  explaiu'd  the  bells  ;||  020 

And  bid  themselves  turn  back  agen 

Lord  May'rs  of  New  Jerusalem  ; 

But  look  so  big  and  overgrown. 

They  scorn  their  cdifiers  t'  own. 

Who  taught  them  all  their  sprinkling  lessons,         025 

Tlieir  tones,  and  sanctify 'd  expressions  ; 

Bcstow'd  their  gifts  upon  a  saint. 

Like  charity,  ou  those  that  want ; 

eiit  to  grovel  in  good  works,  namely,  those  spiritiuil  men  that 
rnnunt  tlieir  banks  lor  independent.  Efficace  is  an  aflfetted  word 
of  tlic  poet's  own  coining,  an<l  signities,  I  suppose,  actual  ser- 
vice. 

*  This  and  the  following  lines  contain  an  elejiant  satire  upor 
those  persons  who  renounce  all  dependence  either  on  the  church 
or  state. 

t  Etre  sur  les  bancs,  is  to  holil  a  dispute,  to  assert  a  claim,  to 
contest  a  ri^rht  or  an  honor,  to  be  a  competitor. 

X  They  need  no  such  support  as  the  body  iif  Mahomet ;  which, 
history  fabulously  tells  us,  is  kept  suspended  in  the  air,  by  being 
placed  in  a  steel  cofRn  between  two  loadstones  of  equal  pow- 
ers. 

^  Ignatius  Loyola,  the  founder  of  the  .losuits.  An  old  soldier : 
at  the  siege  r)l'  I'ampeluna  by  the  French  he  had  both  his  legs 
wounded,  the  left  by  a  stone,  the  right  broken  by  a  bullet.  His 
fervors  in  <lev-()tion  were  so  strong  that  they  sometimes  raised 
aim  two  cubits  from  the  ground.  'I'he  siime  story  is  told  in  the 
.egends  of  S:iint  Uominick,  Xavier,  and  Philip  Neri. 

II  In  his  imagination  their  jingle  sai<l. 

Turn  again  VVhitlington, 
For  thou  in  time  shall  grow 
Lord-mayor  of  London. 

Obeying  the  admonition,  he  not  only  attained  the  promisAd 
honor,  but  amassed  a  fortune  of  £350,000.    Taller,  No.  ?». 


396  HUDIBRAS  "^Part  ui 

And  learn'd  tli'  apocryphal  bi«;ots 

T'  inspire  tliemselves  with  sliortliand  notos,»  C30 

For  which  tliey  scorn  and  imte  them  worse 

Than  dogs  and  cats  do  sow-gelders  : 

For  wlio  first  bred  them  up  to  pray, 

And  teach  the  house  of  commons  way? 

Wliere  had  they  all  tlieir  {lifted  phrases,  333 

But  from  our  Calamies  and  Cases  ?t 

Without  whoso  sjirinkiing  a:id  sowing, 

Whoe'er  had  heard  of  Nye  or  Oweii?t 

Their  dispensations  had  been  stifled. 

But  for  our  Adoniram  Byfield  :§  C4C 


*  Learn  d.  that  is,  taught.  .']pncryphal  bigots,  not  genuine 
ones,  some  snppo^e  to  he  a  kind  iil"  second-rate  Independent  di- 
vines, that  availed  themselves  of  the  genuine  bi-riits  or  I'reshy 
terian  ministers'  discourse,  by  tnkinp  down  the  heads  of  it  iu 
shorthand,  and  then  retailing  it  at  private  meetings.  The  accent 
is  laid  upon  the  last  syllable  of  bigot. 

t  Calamy  was  minister  of  .Aldermanbury,  London,  a  zealous 
Presbyteria'n  and  Covenanter,  and  frequent  preaclicr  before  the 
parliament.  He  was  one  of  the  first  who  whispered  in  the  con- 
venticles, what  afterwards  lie  proclaimed  openly,  that  for  the 
cause  of  religion  it  was  lawful  for  the  subjects  to  lake  up  arms 
against  the  king.  Case,  upon  the  deprivation  of  a  loyalist,  be- 
came minister  of  Saint  Mary  Magdalen  church.  Milk-street; 
where  it  was  u=ual  with  hiiu  thus  to  invite  his  people  to  the 
communion  :  "  You  that  liave  freely  and  liberally  contributed  to 
'•  the  parliament,  for  the  delence  of  GoC  <i  cause  and  the  gospel, 
"draw  near,"  &.C.,  instead  of  the  worch,  "  ye  that  do  truly  aud 
"  earnestly  repent  you  of  your  sins."  He  was  one  of  the  assem- 
bly of  divines,  preached  tor  the  covenant,  and  printed  his  ser- 
mon ;  preached  often  before  the  parliament,  was  a  bitter  enemy 
to  Independents,  an<l  concerned  with  Love  in  the  plot. 

t  Here  read  sprinkleing,  or  sprinkeling.  Philip  Xye  was  a 
most  virulent  dissenting  teacher,  zealous  against  the  king  and 
bishops  beyond  mo~t  of  liis  brethren.  He  went  on  purpose  into 
Scotland  to  expedite  the  covenant,  and  preached  bel'ore  the 
houses  in  England,  when  that  obligation  was  taken  by  them 
He  was  at  first  a  I'resbyteri.in,  and  one  of  the  assembly  ;  but  af 
terwards  joined  the  Independents.  .\t  the  restoration,  it  was 
dcbtited  by  the  liealing  parliament  for  several  hours,  whether 
he  sliould  not  be  e.vcepted  from  life.  Doctor  Owen  was  a  preal 
stickler  on  the  independent  side,  and  in  great  credit  with  Crom- 
well and  his  party.  He  was  preferred  by  them  to  the  deanry  of 
Christ  church,  in  Oxford.  The  IJiographical  Dictionary,  in  t?vo. 
says,  that,  in  ia">4,  being  vice-chancellor,  he  oflered  to  rejjre^etjt 
tlie  university  in  parliament;  and.  to  remove  the  objection  of  his 
being  a  divine,  renounced  his  orders,  and  pleaded  that  he  was  n 
laynTan.  He  was  returned  ;  but  his  election  lieing  iiuestioned  io 
the  couniiiitee  he  sat  only  a  short  time. 

^  Byfield  was  a  noted  Presbyterian,  chaplain  to  Col(>nel  Chol- 
mondelv's  regiment,  in  the  earl  of  Essex's  army,  and  one  of  the 
»eribcs  to  the  assembly  f)f  divines.  Afterwards  he  became  min- 
ister if  Collingborn,  in  Wilts,  and  assistant  to  the  commiiisi  jeers 
kn  ejecting  scandalous  ministers. 


i>.lW 


\y 


\ 


Canto  ii  ]  IIKDIBRAS.  397 

And  liud  tlicy  not  begun  (he  war, 

They  'ad  ne'er  been  sainted  as  tliey  are  :* 

For  saints  in  peace  degenerate, 

And  dwindle  down  to  reprobate  ; 

Their  zeal  corrupts,  like  standing  water,  C43 

In  th'  intervals  of  war  and  slaughter  ; 

Abates  the  sharpness  of  its  edge. 

Without  the  pow'r  of  sacrilege  :t 

And  tho'  they've  tricks  to  cast  their  sins, 

As  easy  as  serpents  do  their  skins.t  650 

That  in  a  while  grow  out  agen. 

In  j)eace  they  turn  mere  carnal  men, 

And  from  the  niost  retin'd  of  saints. 

As  nat'rally  grow  miscreants 

As  barnacles  turn  soland  geese  635 

la  th'  islands  of  the  Orcades.^ 

*  Had  not  the  divines,  on  the  Presbyterian  side,  fomented  the 
iiifferences.  the  Independents  had  never  come  in  play,  or  been 
taken  notice  of. 

T  That  is.  if  they  have  not  the  power  and  opportunity  of  con? 
niittin;;  sacrilejie,  by  plunderinK  the  clmrcli  lands. 

t      Posilis  noviis  cxuvjis,  nili(hisque  juventa.     Geore.  iii.  437. 

$  Our  poet  was  too  good  a  naturalist  to  suppose  that  a  sliell- 
fisli  would  turn  to  a  goose:  but  in  this  place,  as  in  many  others, 
he  means  to  banter  some  of  the  papers  published  by  the  first  es- 
t  iblishers  of  the  Royal  Society.  In  the  twelfth  volumo  of  the 
riiilo.sophical  Transactions,  No.  i'M,  p.  025,  Sir  Robert  Moray 
pives  an  account  of  barnacles  hanging  upon  trees,  and  contain- 
ing each  of  them  a  little  bird,  so  completely  formed  that  nothing 
appeared  wanting,  as  to  the  external  parts,  for  making  up  a  per- 
fect sea-fowl:  the  little  bill,  like  that  of  a  goose;  the  eyes 
marked  ;  the  head,  neck,  breast,  and  wings,  tail  and  feet  formed  ; 
the  feathers  every  way  perfectly  shaped,  and  blackish  colored; 
and  ll;e  feet  like  those  of  other  water  fowls.  See  the  Lepas 
anatiCeni,  Lin.  Syst.  6(18.  My  friend,  Mr.  Penn;int,  observes. 
(British  Zoology,  vol.  iv.  No.!),)  that  the  animal  is  furnished 
with  a  fe:ithert'"d  heard,  which  in  a  credulous  age  was  believed 
to  be  i)art  of  a  young  bird  ;  it  is  a  native  of  hot  climates,  and 
found  adhering  to  the  bottoms  of  ships.  Heylin  says,  they  are 
bred  in  the  Isle  of  Man  from  rr)lten  wood  thrown  into  the  water 
The  same  is  mentioned  by  Camden,  and  by  old  Gerard  in  his 
Herbal,  who  gives  a  print  of  the  goose  itself  in  p.  1587,  with  a 
cluster  of  the  shells  called  Lepas  anatifcra,  or  barnacle  shells, 
which  he  calls  Conchae  analifera- Britannicffi,  and  by  the  wise 
naturalists  of  the  sixteenth  century  were  thoiighl  to  generate 
the  birds,  which  hung  for  a  while  by  the  bill,  then  fell  into  the 
sea,  and  grew  to  riaturity :  they  did  not,  like  our  poet,  make  the 
tree  goose  a  soland  goose,  but  the  goose  called  tho  barnacle. 
British  Zoology,  ii.  269.  Sir  .Inhn  Jlan<leville,  in  his  Voyages, 
ch.  8t,  says,  "  In  my  country  there  are  trees  that  do  bear  fruit 
"that  become  birds  tiying.  and  they  are  good  to  eat,  and  that 
"which  fills  in  tlie  water  lives,  and  that  which  falls  on  the 
"earth  dies."  Ed.  London,  172-2.  Hector  Boetius,  in  his  History 
of  Scotland,  tells  us  of  a  goose-bearing  tree,  as  it  is  called  in  the 
Orcades :  lliat  is,  nne  whose  leaves  falling  into  the  water,  are 


398 


IIUDTBRAS.  (I'ARTUi 


Their  dispensation  's  but  a  ticket 

For  their  coiiforniin<T  to  the  wicked, 

With  wivoin  their  greatest  difference 

Lies  more  in  words  and  shew,  than  sense  •  C60 

For  as  the  Pope,  that  keeps  tl)e  gate 

Of  heaven,  wears  three  crowns  of  state  ;* 

So  he  that  keeps  the  gates  of  hell, 

Proud  Cerb'rus,  wears  three  heads  as  well  ;t 

And,  if  the  world  has  any  troth,;  6ii5 

Some  have  been  canoniz'd  in  both. 

But  that  which  does  them  greatest  harm, 

Their  sp'rilual  gizzards  are  too  warm,§ 

Which  puts  the  overheated  sots 

In  fevers  still,  like  other  goals  :||  C70 

turned  to  those  geese  which  are  called  soland  geese,  and  fovinii 
in  prodigious  numbers  in  tliose  parts.    Thus  the  poet  Dubartas- 

Po  slow  Bnntes  underneath  him  sees 
In  th'  icy  island<,  goslings  hatch'd  of  trees. 
Whose  Iruitt'ul  leaves  tailing  into  the  water 
Are  turn'd  ('tis  known)  to  living  fowl  soon  after 

Again  : 

So  rotten  planks  of  broken  ships  do  change 
'I'o  barnacles.     Oh  !  transfi)rm:ition  strange  ! 
'Twas  first  a  green  tree,  then  a  broken  hull, 
Lately  a  niuslirooni,  now  a  flying  gull. 

The  poet  seems  to  have  taken  something  from  each  of  these 
stories.  In  Moore's  Travels  into  the  inland  parts  of  Africa,  p. 
54,  we  road  :  '-This  evening,  Uecendier  13,  17:«),  I  supped  upon 
"oysters  which  grew  upon  trees.  Down  the  river  (Gambia) 
"  where  the  water  is  sail,  and  near  the  sea,  the  river  is  bounded 
'•  with  trees  calloil  mangroves,  whose  leaves  be'.ng  long  and 
•'  heavy,  weigh  the  boughs  into  the  water.  To  these  leaves 
"  the  young  oysters  fasten  in  great  quantities,  wb.ere  they  grow 
"till  they  are  very  large;  and  then  ton  cannot  separate  them 
"  from  the  tree,  but  are  obliged  to  cut  off  the  boughs.  The  oys- 
"  ters  hanging  on  them  resemble  a  rope  of  onions."  Mr.  Francis 
Moore,  son  of  a  writina-master  at  Worcester,  was  many  years  a 
factor  in  the  service  of  the  African  Company,  and  travelled  five 
hunilred  mdes  up  the  river  Gambia.  These  oysters  are  found 
in  Jamaica,  and  m-iny  other  places. 

*  The  pope,  pretending  to  have  the  power  of  the  keys,  is 
called  janitor  ecclesia;.  The  tiara  or  triple  crown  is  a  badg^  o'' 
papal  dignity. 

t  Cerlierus  h.TC  ingeus  latratu  regna  trifauci 

Personat yEneis  vi.  417. 

X  Many  bad  as  well  as  good  men  have  been  honored  with  the 
title  of  saints. 

<)  Persons  are  said  to  have  a  broiling  in  tlieir  gizzards  when 
they  stomach  any  thing  very  ^uich. 

II  (!;a{ras  sanas  sanns  neino  promittet,  nnnquani  enim  sine 
febre  sunt.  Varro  ii.  3,  .').  Columella  says  they  arc  extremely 
•Ickly.  And  Plutarch  ii.  p.  'J'.lll.  that  Ihey  are  subject  to  epilep- 
it«s.     ^  the  notes  on  Varro,  it  is  observed  that  the  learned  Co 


CiNTo  II.]  IIUDIBRAS  309 

For  tlio'  tlie  wliorc  bends  lipretffiks 

Willi  flames  of  fire,  like  crnokcd  slicks,* 

Our  schismatics  so  vastly  differ, 

Th'  iiotler  tliey  're  they  grow  the  stifFor  ; 

Still  setting  off  their  sp'ritual  goods,  (F'S 

With  fierce  and  pertinacious  feuds : 

For  zeal's  a  dreadful  termagant. 

That  teaches  saints  to  tear  and  rant, 

And  independents  to  profess 

The  doctrine  of  dependences  ;  68C 

Turns  meek,  and  secret,  sneaking  ones,t 

To  raw-heads  fierce,  and  bloody-bones; 

And  not  content  with  endless  quarrels 

Against  the  wicked,  and  their  morals. 

The  (Jibcllines,  for  want  of  Gaelfs,t  683 

Divert  their  rage  upon  themselves. 

For  now  the  war  is  not  between 

The  brethren  and  the  men  of  sin. 

But  saint  and  saint  to  spill  the  blood 

Of  one  another's  brotherhood,  600 

Where  neither  side  can  lay  pretence 

To  liberty  of  conscience, 6 

Or  zealous  sufF'ring  for  itK?  «au,je, 

To  gain  one  groat's  worth  of  applause 

For  tho'  endur'd  with  resolution,  103 

'Twill  ne'er  amount  to  persecution  ; 

Shall  precious  saints,  and  secret  ones. 

Break  one  another's  outward  bones, || 

And  eat  the  flesh  of  brethren, 

Instead  of  kings  and  mighty  men  ?  700 

teler  was  suckled  liy  a  she-goat;  and  in  consequence  was  a 
valetudinary  ihrciugli  life,  subject  to  nielancholy,  and  scarcely 
ever  witlioul  a  fever. 

*  The  piipo  of  Rome  is,  hy  some,  thnusht  to  l)e  the  same  with 
ths  whore  of  Baliylon  mentioned  in  llie  Revelation  :  and  the 
Romanists  are  said  to  have  attempted  tlie  conversion  of  infidels 
by  means  of  fire  and  fajiots,  as  men  made  crooked  sticks  straight 
by  fire  and  steam. 

t  In  some  editions  we  have  a  l)etter  reading  thus. 
Turns  meek,  and  sneaking  secret  ones. 

t  These  names  of  distinction  were  first  made  use  of  at  FIs- 
toia,  wliere,  when  the  nnilistratcs  expelled  the  I'anzatichi,  there 
chanced  to  he  two  brothers,  Germans,  one  of  whom,  named 
Guelph,  was  for  the  pope,  the  other,  Gibel,  for  the  emperor. 
The  spirit  of  these  parties  raged  witli  violence  in  Italy  and  Ger- 
many. 

$  Thnt  i',  not  having  granted  liberty  of  conscience 

(|  A  sneer  upon  the  canting  abnise  of  scripture  phrases,  alluding 
lo  Psalm  ii.  v.  9;  thus  ag-iin  1.  328  of  this  canto  :  the  same  maj 
be  said  of  lines  320  and  700. 
34 


100  IirjDlBRAS.  [Part  iu 

Wlien  fiends  agree  among  themselves,* 

Shall  they  be  found  the  greater  elves  ?t 

When  Bell's  at  union  with  the  Dragon, 

And  Baal  Peor  friends  with  Dagon  ; 

When  savage  bears  agree  with  bears,}  "QS 

Shall  secret  ones  lug  saints  by  th'  ears, 

And  not  atone  their  fatal  wrath, § 

When  common  danger  threatens  both  ? 

Shall  mastiffs,  by  the  collars  puH'd, 

Engag'd  with  bulls,  let  go  their  hold  ;  710 

And  saints,  whose  necks  are  pawn'd  at  stake, || 

No  notice  of  the  danger  take  ; 

But  tho'  no  pow'r  of  lieaven  or  hell 

Can  pacify  fanatic  zeal. 

Who  would  not  guess  there  might  be  hopes,  7J5 

The  fear  of  gallowses  and  ropes 

Before  their  eyes  might  reconcile 

Their  animosities  a  while. 

At  least  until  they  'ad  a  clear  stage, 

And  equal  freedom  to  engage,  720 

Without  the  danger  of  surprise 

By  both  our  common  enemies  ?ir 

This  none  but  we  alone  could  doubt,** 
Who  understood  their  workings-out. 
And  know  'em  both  in  soul  and  conscience,  725 

Giv'n  up  t'  as  reprobate  a  nonsensett 
As  spiritual  out-lavi's,  whom  the  pow'r 
Of  miracle  can  ne'er  restore. 
We,  whom  at  first  they  set  up  under, 
In  revelation  only  of  plunder,  730 

Who  since  have  had  so  many  trials 
Of  their  encroaching  self-denials,lt 


*  O  shame  to  men  !  devil  with  devil  damn'd 

Firm  concord  holds Paradise  Lost,  ii.  496. 

f  They,  that  is  the  saints,  see  v.  689,  097. 

{  siEvis  inter  se  convenit  ursis.        Jiiv.  Sat.  .\v.  104 

§  ^tone,  that  is,  reconcile,  see  v.  717. 

If  Tliat  is,  and  saints,  whose  all  is  at  stake,  as  they  are  to  be 
hanged  if  things  do  not  t;ike  a  friendly  turn.     Sec  v.  71C. 

IT  That  is,  by  the  common  enemies  of  us  both. 

**  None  but  we  alone  could  doubt  that  the  fear  of  gallowses 
might  reconcile  their  animosities,  &c. 

tt  Given  up  to  a  state  of  reprobation  and  guidance  of  their 
own  folly,  like  persons  under  such  an  irrevocable  sentence  of 
excoihtiiunication,  that  even  their  power  of  working  miracles 
would  never  avail  to  gain  them  alisoliilion,  and  reinstate  them. 

tt  The  Independents  got  rid  of  the  rrcsbytcrian  leaders  by  tho 
telf-dcnying  ordinance. 


l.'ANTo  II.]  IIUDIBRAS.  401 

That  rook'd  upon  us  with  design* 

To  oiit-rcforni  and  uiulcrniiiie  ; 

Tooii  all  our  iiit'rcsts  and  commands  73S 

Perfidiously  out  of  our  hands  ; 

luvolv'd  us  in  the  guilt  of  blood, 

Without  the  motive  gains  allow'd,t 

And  made  us  serve  as  ministerial, 

Like  younger  sons  of  father  Belial.  740 

And  yet,  for  all  th'  inhuman  wrong 

Th'  had  done  us,  and  the  cause  so  long, 

We  never  fail'd  to  carry  on 

Tlie  work  still,  as  we  had  begun  : 

But  true  and  faithfully  obey'd,  7C 

And  neither  preach"d  them  hurt,  nor  pray'd ; 

Nor  troubled  them  to  crop  our  cars, 

Nor  hang  us,  like  the  cavaliers  ; 

Nor  put  them  to  the  charge  of  jails. 

To  find  us  pill'ries  and  cart-tails,  "50 

Or  hangman's  wages,  which  the  state 

Was  forc'd  before  them,  to  be  at ; 

That  cut,  like  tallies,  to  the  stumps. 

Our  cai-s  for  keeping  true  accompts,t 

And  burnt  our  vessels,  like  a  new-  755 

.Seal'd  peck,  or  bushel,  for  being  true  ; 

But  haiul  in  hand,  like  faithfid  brothers, 

Held  forth  the  cause  against  all  others. 

Disdaining  equally  to  yield 

One  syllable  of  what  we  held.  76C 

And  tliougli  we  difFer'd  now  and  then 

'Bout  outward  things,  and  outward  men, 

Our  inward  men,  and  constant  frame 

Of  spirit  still  were  near  the  same  ; 

And  till  they  first  began  to  cant,  76ij 

And  sprinkle  down  the  covenant. 


*  That  plaj-ed  the  cheat. 

t  That  is,  without  allowing  the  gains  which  were  the  motives 
W)  such  actions. 

t  la. lies  are  corresponding  notches  which  traders  make  on 
sticks:  tliey  are  i)laiie(l  away  when  the  accounts  are  allowed, 
cr  liquidated.  The  meaning  seems  to  he,  the  state  before  the 
pulilic  confusion  made  us  suffer  for  keeping  true  accounts,  or  fof 
being  true,  cutting  our  ears  like  tallies,  and  branding  the  vessels 
of  our  bodies  like  a  measure  with  the  mark  fresh  upon  it:  the 
tallies  so  cut  as  keeping  true  accounts:  the  measure  so  sealed, 
or  branded,  as  being  a  true  one  :  this  s-jits  with  the  character  of 
Lilbourn.  Pec  note  on  line  4-21.  London  and  other  towns  have 
the  power  of  examining  weights  and  measures,  and  usually  pm 
their  sell  upon  such  as  are  true  and  just,  which  ure  thence  calletl 
sealed  weights,  and  sealed  measures 


77^ 


392  HUDIBRAS.  ^Paut  m 

Wo  no'er  had  call  in  any  place, 

Nor  dreain'd  of  teacliiiifr  down  free  grace  ; 

But  join'd  our  gifts  periK'tually, 

Against  the  common  enemy.  77C 

Akliougli  'twas  ours,  and  their  opinion, 

Each  other's  chnrcli  was  but  a  liimmon.* 

And  yet,  for  all  this  gospel-union, 

And  outward  shew  of  cliurch-communion, 

They'll  ne'er  admit  us  to  our  shares 

Of  ruling  church,  or  state  affairs. 

Nor  give  us  leave  t'  absolve,  or  sentence 

T'  our  own  conditions  of  repentance  : 

But  shar'd  our  dividend  o'  th'  crown, 

We  had  so  painfully  preach'd  down  ;  780 

And  forc'd  us,  tho'  against  the  grain, 

T'  have  calls  to  teach  it  up  again.t 

For  'twas  but  justice  to  restore 

The  wrongs  we  had  recciv'd  before  ; 

And  when  'twas  held  forth  in  our  way,  785 

We  'ad  been  ungrateful  not  to  pay  : 

Who  for  the  right  we've  done  the  nation, 

Have  earn'd  our  temporal  salvation. 

And  put  our  vessels  in  a  way, 

Once  more  to  come  again  in  play :  700 

For  if  the  tm-ning  of  us  out, 

Has  brought  this  providence  about, 

And  that  our  only  suffering 

Is  able  to  bring  in  the  king,t 


*  A  Syrian  idol.    See  2  Kings,  v.  18.    And  Paradise  Lost,  467: 
Him  f  illowcd  Rimiiion,  \viio?e  delialitful  seat 
Was  f.iir  Uaiii;>ftus  on  the  Ceriile  liaiilis 
Ol'  Abbana  and  I'hariibar,  lucid  streams. 

The  meaninK  is,  th:it  in  mir  and  their  opininn,  church  com 
munioa  with  each  oilier  was  a  like  case  with  that  of  Naanian's 
bowing  himself  in  llie  ln'U::e  of  Kiminon,  equally  l:iying  both 
Mndcr  the  necessity  of  a  petition  for  pardon  :  the  Indepeiidcnts 
Know  that  their  teaets  vv»re  so  opposite  to  those  of  the  Presby- 
icrians,  that  they  co':'.>i  not  coilesce,  and  theicfire  concealed 
them,  till  they  ware  strong  enough  to  declare  them. 

t  The  Frebhyter'T.ns  entered  into  several  plots  to  restore  the 
king.  For  it  was  but  justice,  said  they,  to  rep:iir  the  injuries  we 
lind  received  from  the  Independents;  and  when  monMrchy  was 
off-'red  to  be  restored  in  our  own  sense,  and  with  all  the  liiiiita 
tions  we  desirod,  it  had  been  ungrateful  not  to  consent. 

t  Many  of  the  Presbyterians,  says  Lord  Clarendon,  when 
lusled  of  their  prefer  nent,  or  secluded  from  their  house  of  com- 
irions  by  the  Indepemlenls,  pretended  to  make  a  merit  of  it  in 
respect  of  their  loyally.  And  some  of  iliem  had  the  confidence 
lo  present  themselves  to  Kin2  fh.irles  Ihe  Second,  both  before 
<ni!  Rfter  his  restoration,  as  sufferers  for  the  crown  ;  though  thev 


Canto  ii.J  IIUDIDRAS.  103 

Wluit  would  our  actions  not  have  done,  79' 

Had  \vc  been  suff-i'd  to  go  on  ? 

And  tliereforo  may  pretend  t'  a  share,* 

At  least,  iu  carryin-r  on  th'  affair : 

But  whether  that  be  so,  or  not, 

We  'vo  done  enough  to  have  it  thought,  80C 

And  that's  as  good  as  if  we  'ad  done  't, 

And  easier  past  upon  account : 

For  if  it  bo  but  half  dcny'd, 

'Tis  half  as  good  as  justify'd. 

Tlie  world  is  naturally  averse  303 

To  all  the  truth  it  sees  or  hears, 

But  swallows  nonsense  and  a  lie, 

With  greediness  and  gluttony  ; 

And  tlio'  it  have  the  pique,  and  long, 

'Tis  still  for  something  in  the  wrong  :t  310 

As  women  long  when  they  're  with  child, 

For  things  extravagant  and  wild  ; 

For  meats  ridiculous  and  fulsome, 

But  seldom  any  thing  that's  wholesome  ; 

And,  like  tiie  world,  men's  jobbernolcs  815 

Turn  round  upon  their  ears,  the  poles  ;t 

And  what  they  're  confidently  told. 

By  no  sense  else  can  he  controll'd. 

And  this,  perhaps,  may  be  the  means 
Once  more  to  hedge  in  providence.  820 

For  as  relapses  make  diseases 
More  desp'rate  than  their  first  accesses  ; 
If  we  but  got  again  in  pow'r. 
Our  work  is  easier  than  before  ; 

And  we  more  ready  and  expert  623 

I'  the  mystery,  to  do  our  part: 
We,  who  did  rather  undertake 
The  first  war  to  create,  than  make  ;§ 
And  when  of  nothing  'twas  begun, |j 


had  been  violent  sticklers  against  it:  this,  their  behavior,  oni 
poet  ridiculrjs  in  many  places  iif  this  canto 

*  To  make  nut  Ihe  sranunatical  c  Justrurtion,  this  verse  musi 
be  connected  with  verse  790. 

t  Pha  is  a  depraved  appetite,  or  Jesire  of  improper  food  to 
which  pregnant  women,  or  sickly  females,  are  sometimes  sub- 
ject. 

t  Men's  heads  are  turned  with  the  lies  and  nonsense  which 
Ciey  hear,  and  attend  to.     See  v.  1(108. 

$  By  crealing  war,  he  means,  finding  pretences  for  it,  stlrrine 
np  and  fomenting  it.  By  making  war,  he  means  waging  aad 
r.arrying  it  on. 

I'  Upon  no  occasion  or  provocation. 


104  ElUUIBRAS.  [Paut  m 

Rais'd  fiiuds  as  strange,  to  carry  't  on  83C 

Trepaun'iJ  tlie  bcale,  and  fac'd  it  down, 

Willi  plots  and  projects  of  our  own : 

And  it'  we  did  sncii  I'eals  at  fii-st, 

Wiiat  can  we  now  we  're  better  vers'd  ? 

Wiio  have  a  freer  latitude  83i 

Than  sinnere  give  themselves,  allow'd  ; 

And  therefore  likeliest  to  bring  in. 

On  fairest  terms,  our  discipline  ; 

To  which  it  was  reveal'd  long  since 

Wo  were  ordain"d  by  Providence,  B40 

When  three  saitUs'  ears,  our  predecessors. 

The  cause's  primitive  confessors,* 

B'ing  crucify'd,  the  nation  stood 

In  just  so  many  years  of  blood, t 

That,  multiply'd  by  six  express'd  845 

The  perfecc  number  of  Itic  beast, t 

And  prov'd  that  we  must  be  the  men 

To  bring  this  work  about  agen  ; 


•  Burton,  Prynne,  and  Baslwick,  three  litisy  writers  at  the 
beginning  of  the  civil  war,  were  set  in  the  pillory,  iind  had  Iheil 
ears  cropped.  Hence  the  p<iel  jocosely  calls  them  primitive  con- 
fessors. The  severe  sentence  which  was  passed  on  these  per 
Bons,  and  on  I^ighlon,  conlrilmteil  much  to  infiaiiie  the  minds  of 
men,  and  to  incense  them  against  the  bisliops,  the  star-chamber, 
and  the  government. 

t  The  civil  war  lasted  si.x  years,  from  1G42,  till  the  death  of 
the  king  in  lC-)8-9. 

i  Alludina  to  Revelation,  ch.  xiii.  18.  "Here  is  wisdom 
"Let  him  that  balh  understanding  count  the  number  of  the 
"beast:  for  it  is  the  number  of  a  man;  and  his  number  is  six 
"hundred  threescore  and  six."  The  multiplication  of  three 
units  by  six,  gives  three  sixes,  and  the  juxtaposition  of  three 
sixes  makes  CtiG,  or,  which  comes  to  the  same  thing — three  units 
placed  by  the  side  of  each  other  (111)  is  one  hundred  and 
eleven,  which,  multiplied  by  (li)  six,  is  equal  to  (Of)!))  six  hun- 
dred sixty-six.  the  number  of  I  he  beast.  This  mysterious  num- 
ber and  name  excited  the  curiosity  of  mankind  so  early,  thai 
even  in  the  second  century,  Irena;us  started  various  conjectures 
on  the  subject.  He  supposes  the  name  may  be  Evanthas, 
Lateinos,  Teitan,  &.C.,  wTiich  last  he  prefers,  liut  he  adds,  with 
a  modesty  ill-imitated  by  later  expositors — "  Yet,  I  venture  not 
"to  pronounce  positively  concerning  the  name  of  antichrist: 
"for,  had  it  been  intended  to  be  openly  |)roclav.:ncd  to  the  pres 
"ent  generation,  it  would  have  been  ultereil  by  the  same  i)erson 
"  who  saw  the  revelation."  Fevardent  discovered  this  number 
in  the  name  of  Martin  Luther,  which  originally,  he  says,  was 
Martin  Lauler.* 

*  From  Fevardent's  Notes  on  Irena-us,  I.  v.  c.  .30,  p.  487,  ed. 
Paris,  folio,  A.  D.  167.5.  Initio  vocaliatur  .Martin  I.ttiiter ;  cujus 
nonimis  literas  si  I'ythagorice  et  ratione  subducas  ct  more  He- 
krsorum  ct  Grxcurum  alphabet!  crescat  numerus,  primo  niona- 


M 

■M 

L 

20 

A 

1 

A 

J 

K 

80 

V 

2(;() 

'J" 

l(i() 

r 

]00 

1 

9 

E 

5 

N 

40 

R 

fc'O 

Canto  u  ]  xIUDIBRAS.  401 

And  tliose  who  laid  tlic  first  rniindalion, 
Coinpleat  llie  lliorougli  ii-foniialiou  :  SCtO 

For  who  have  gilts  to  carry  oa 
So  great  a  work,  but  we  alone  ? 


dum.  deinde  ileciulum  liinc  ccntiiriiiriiin,  niimerus  noniiiiis  Des* 
tia-,  id  est,  (iUO,  lundeiii  perfecluiii  coiiiperies,  tioc  puctu. 

:ro   5   10   :!oo   i   so 

T      E     I        TAN 
E(iiiiU  tu  Otif). 


I  can  make  inuhing  of  Luther,  nor  of  tlie  Hreek  alphnhet:  l)ut 
lel  me  read  Laiiter,  and  make  numerals  of  the  Latin  alplialiet, 
and  then  lhinf;s  will  laily;c  or  tit.  Other  names  !i)iplical)le  to 
Antichrist,  collected  by  Fevardent  from  various  autliors  are  : 

1   V.vavdii;  2  Aanivoi  3  Tetrav 

4  Apvovfiat  5  A(i//7r£Tij  6'  O  StKriTjjS 

7   KaKoi  obrjyo;  8    AXrjOtii  PXapipn; 

9  IIuAui  jinaKavoi  10  Aftio;  h<5ikoj 

11   AvTiftus  12  VcujtjpiKo;. 

The  first  three  Greek  names  are  proposed  hy  IrcnEciis.  Fe- 
vardent  prefers  Maometis  to  theiii  all. 

Irena-us's  rational  retlection  on  llie  \vli(de  is  luckily  preserved 
JH  the  oriirinnl  Greek  (for  in  iieneral  only  a  harharoiis  Latin  ver- 
sion of  this  father  remains)  by  Eusebius,  Hist.  Eccl.  v.  8. 

'H/iUf  ovv  oliK  aTToKivhvviVojxi.v  WEpi  Tov  ovdfinTOs  tov  Avti- 
XP'S""U    a^oij>an6iitvoi    licpaiuiTiKdi;.      El    yiip    cici   it'a(l>ai'(]dv 

T((>    I'Vf   Kaipij)     Kr/ptlTTCcOlH     TIIVlOjJLIl    OVTOV,   6l'  fKt'vOU    Sv    illpltijl 

Tou  Kat  Tijv  aT:oKd\v'^iv  foipaKUToi 

That  this  mark  of  Antichrist  engajied  tlie  attention  of  the  sec- 
taries, will  appear  by  the  foUowinj;  quotation  from  the  pretended 
posthu:iious  works  of  Mr.  Butler,  in  the  cliaracter  of  an  assein- 
i)ly  man.  "O  how  they  have  lorn  por)r  bishops'  names  to  pick 
"out  tlie  number  fiGG.  Little  dreaminj;  that  a  whole  baker's 
"  dozen  of  tlieir  own  assembly  have  that  beastly  nuuiber  in  each 
"of  their  naines;  and  that  as  exactly  as  their  solemn  lea^'ue  and 
"  covenant  consists  of  (itti  words."  (Ir  from  tlie  character  of  an 
hermetic  philosopher,  written  by  nmler  himscll :  "By  this 
"means  Ihey  iiave  found  out  who  is  the  true  owner  of  the  beast 
"in  the  apocalypse,  which  has  lonj;  passed  for  a  stray  among 
"  the  learned  ;  x\  hat  is  the  true  product  of  CliO.  that  has  rung  like 
"  VVhittinKton's  bells  in  the  ears  of  expositors."  But  some  have 
thoujiht  that  tins  passage  alluilcs  not  to  the  apocalyptic,  btit  to 
the  independent  beast,  nnd  explain  it  tlan  ;  "  In  just  three  years 

of  blood,  for  the  king  set  up  his  slundard  in  August,  1G43, 
■'and  the  battle  of  Naseby  was  fought  in  June,  U'Aa,  which 
"  proved  the   deciding  battle,"  says   Ludlow,  "the   king's  party 

after   that   time    never   making  any   corniderable  opposition, 

which  three  bloody  years,  thus  answering  to  three  confessors, 
"being  multiplied  by  six,  tlie  number  of  their  crucified  ears,  e.x- 
"  pressed  the  perfect  number  of  yenris  in  which  the  independent 
'beast  sliould  prevail,  namely  18,  reckoning  from  the  com- 
'laencement  of  the  war  to  the  restoration." 


jOfi  IIUDIBKAS.  LPakt  m 

What  churches  have  such  able  pastors, 

And  precious,  powerful,  preaching  masters  ? 

Possess'd  witii  absolute  dominions  85i 

O'er  brethren's  purses  and  opinions, 

And  trusted  with  the  double  keys 

Of  heav'n,  and  their  warehouses  ; 

"Who,  when  the  cause  is  in  distress, 

Can  furnish  out  what  sums  they  please,  860 

That  brooding;  lie  in  bankers'  hands. 

To  be  dispos'd  at  their  commands  ; 

And  daily  increase  and  multiply, 

With  doctrine,  use,  and  usury  : 

Can  fetch  in  parties,  as  in  war  865 

All  other  heads  of  cattle  are, 

From  th'  enemy  of  ail  religions. 

As  well  as  high  and  low  conditions, 

And  share  them  from  blue  ribbons  down 

To  all  blue  aprons  in  the  town  ;*  870 

From  ladies  hurry'd  in  calleches. 

With  cornets  at  their  footmen's  brecches,t 

To  bawds  as  fat  as  mother  Nab,t 

All  guts  and  belly,  like  a  crab. 

Our  party's  great,  and  better  ty'd  875 

With  oaths,  and  trade,  than  any  side  ;§ 

Has  one  considerable  improvement, 

To  double-fortify  the  cov'nant ; 

mean  our  covenant  to  purcliase|| 
Delinquents'  titles,  and  the  church's,  880 

That  pass  in  sale,  from  hand  to  hand. 
Among  ourselves,  for  current  land, 
And  rise  or  fall,  like  Indian  actions, 
According  to  the  rate  of  factions  ; 


*  Tradesmen  and  iheir  apprentices  took  a  very  active  part  in 
;he  miuliles,  bolli  hy  preaching  and  fiphlinc. 

t  Calleclie,  calash,  or  cli-iriot.  Cornets  were  ornaments 
u-liijh  servants  wore  upon  their  breeches:  though  some  critics 
would  read  coronets. 

t  Ladies  of  this  profession  are  generally  defcrilicd  as  coarse  and 
fat.  The  orator  means,  that  the  leaders  of  the  faction  could 
fetch  in  parties  of  all  rank*",  from  the  highest  lo  the  lowest,  from 
lady  Carlisle  to  the  lowest  mechanic  in  a  hUie  apron. 

^  The  strength  of  the  Tresbyterian  party  lay  in  the  covenant- 
ers, and  the  citizens. 

II  In  the  first  line,  the  word  cov'nant  is  two  syllables,  in  the 
second  line  it  is  three.* 

*  Wlif  re  one  word  fiiiU  wiib  a  vowel,  nml  the  ne»'.  hejins  with  f  nf ,  Biillcf 
«i«bfr  l..avesihem  ns  two  »vlliinlc«,  or  commits  tlifm  iiilo  one,  ««  beil  euiu 
kit  rern*.  Where  a  vowvl  is  »  word  bv  itse W  il  i«  someiiniet,  pf  hapa,  not 
nekoQcd  in  ecaniiin'.     See  P.  i.  c,  ii.  v.'  70S,  and  P.  ii.  c.  ii.  v.  671 


Canto  ii]  HUDIBRAS.  iff] 

Our  best  reserve  for  reformation,  885 

When  new  oviifjoiu^s  jrivo  occasion  ; 

Tliut  keeps  tho  lair.s  of  brellireii  girt, 

Their  cov^nar.t,  their  crnod,  t'  assert  ;* 

And,  when  ihoy've  pack'd  a  parliament, 

Will  once  more  try  tli'  expedient :  890 

^Vllo  can  already  muster  friends, 

To  servo  for  members  to  our  ends. 

That  represent  no  part  o'  th'  nation. 

But  Fisher's-folly  congregation  ;t 

Are  only  tools  to  our  intrigues,  895 

And  sit  like  geese  to  hatch  our  eggs  : 

Who,  by  their  precedents  of  wit, 

T'  ontfast,  ontloiter,  and  outsit,! 

Can  order  matters  under-hand. 

To  put  all  bus'ness  to  a  stand  ;  900 

Lay  public  bills  aside,  for  private, 

And  make  'em  one  another  drive  out  ; 

Divert  the  great  and  necessary, 

W'ith  trifles  to  contest  and  vary  ; 

And  make  the  nation  represent,  90S 

And  serve  for  us  in  parhament ; 

*  A  ly  preacher  at  Banbury  said,  "  We  know,  O  Lord,  that 
Abraham  made  a  •■nvenaiit,  and  Moses  and  Dwid  made  a  cov- 
enant, aii<l  our  Saviour  m:>;lo  a  covenant,  but  tiie  iiiiriiament's 
covenant  is  the  greatest  of  all  covenants."  The  marquis  of  Ham- 
ilton beinfi  sent  into  Scotland  to  appease  the  troubles  there,  de- 
manded of  the  Scotch  tliat  they  should  ren<iunce  the  covenant; 
they  answered,  that  they  would  sooner  renounce  their  bap- 
tism. 

t  .lasper  Fisher,  one  of  the  si.\  clerks  in  chancer)-,  spent  his 
fortune  in  laying  out  magnificent  garden?,  and  building  a  fine 
house  ;  which,  therefore,  was  called  Fisher's  Folly.  It  was  af- 
terwards used  as  a  conventicle  ;  pcrhnps  of  Quakers.  See  Ful- 
ler's Worthies,  p.  l'.)7,  and  Stowe's  Survey.  'J'he  place  where 
the  house  stood  is  now  Devoushire-scpiare,  in  the  city.  Here  is 
an  equivoque  on  the  word  represent.  It  means  either  to  stand 
in  tlie  place  of,  and  be  sulistitutcd  by  others,  or  to  resemble, 
and  be  like  them.  In  the  first  sense,  the  members  they  should 
pack,  would  represent  their  consiiluents  ;  but  in  the  latter  sense, 
Dnly  a  meeting  of  enthusiastic  sectaries. 

X  By  these  arts  and  melluuls,  the  leaders  on  the  parliament 
side  defeated  the  purposes  of  the  loyalists,  and  carried  such 
points  in  the  house  as  were  disagreeable  to  the  solicr  part,  and 
indeed,  to  the  majority.  Tims  tlu'  reMionslrauce  was  carried,  as 
Lord  Clarendon  says,  merely  by  the  hour  of  the  night ;  the  de- 
bates being  continued  till  two  o'clock,  and  very  many  having 
withdrawn  nut  of  pure  faintness  and  disability  to  attend  the  con- 
clusion. 'J'lie  bill  against  episcopicy,  and  others,  were  carried 
by  out-fasting,  .and  out  sitting  those  who  opposed  it  :  which 
made  I<ord  F.-.lkland  say.  that  they  who  hated  bisliops,  liated 
them  worse  than  the  devil,  and  those  that  loved  them,  loved 
Ihem  not  so  well  as  their  own  dinners. 


JOS  HUDIBRAS.  rPART  in 

Cut  out  more  work  than  can  bo  douo 

In  Plato's  year,*  l)'.it  luiish  none, 

Unless  it  be  the  bulls  of  Loulliiil, 

That  alway.s  pass'd  for  fuiuir.nienlal  :t  910 

Can  set  up  grundee  against  praiulee. 

To  squander  time  away,  and  bandy  ; 

Make  lords  and  conimonor3  lay  sieges 

To  one  another's  privileges  : 

And,  rather  than  compound  the  quarrel,  919 

Engage,  to  tli'  inevitable  ])eri! 

Of  both  their  ruins,  th'  only  scope 

And  consolation  of  our  hope  ; 

Who,  tlio'  we  do  not  play  the  game. 

Assist  as  much  by  giving  aim  ;t  9OT 

Can  introduce  our  ancient  arts. 

For  beads  of  factions  t'  act  their  parts ; 

Know  what  a  leading  voice  is  worth, 

A  seconding,  a  third,  or  fourth  ; 

How  much  a  casting  voice  comes  to,  925 

That  turns  up  trump  of  Aj-,  or  No  ; 

And,  by  adjusting  all  at  th'  end. 

Share  ev'rj'  one  bis  dividend. 

An  art  that  so  much  study  cost. 

And  now's  in  danger  to  be  lost,  D30 

Unless  our  ancient  virtuosos. 

That  found  it  out,  get  into  th'  lionses. 

These  are  the  courses  that  we  took 

To  carry  things  by  hook  or  crook, § 


*  The  Platonic  year,  or  time  required  fur  a  complete  revolu- 
tion of  the  entire  inacliino  of  the  wurlil,  has  by  some  l)een  made 
to  consist  of  4(!t;0  common  years:  others  have  thoiiiiht  it  must 
extend  to  2I),000,  or  still  more.  RIagnns  annus  tuin  elhcitur,  cum 
solis,  et  lunio,  et  quinriue  erraiUium,  ad  eandem  inter  se  compara- 
:ii>nciii  confectis  omniuir  spatiis  est  fictaconversio.  Qmequam 
onga  sit,  magna  qua'stio  est.     Cicero  de  Nat.  Deor.  ii.  20. 

t  'J'he  ordinances  puhkished  by  ihe  liouse  of  commons  were 
signed  by  Lenihal  the  speaker  and  are  therefore  called  the 
bulls  of  Lcnthal.  'J'hey  may  be  termnd  fundamentals,  liecauso 
many  of  them  were  issued  by  order  of  the  rump  parliameat. 

t  Or  in  the  l)')\vler's  phrase,  by  (.'inivg  rrround. 

\  Crook  and  Ilntlon  were  the  only  judges  who  dissented  from 
llieir  brethren,  when  the  case  of  ship-nioney  was  argued  in  the 
exchequer:  which  occasioned  the  wags  to  say  that  the  king 
carried  it  by  Hook,  but  not  by  Crook:  Dr.  Crcy  on  the  passage; 
hut  the  saying  is  of  much  older  (bile,  and  only  applic<l  as  a.  ptin 
by  Hutler,  and  the  wits  of  the  reign  of  Charles  the  First.  We 
find  it  usee"  by  Skellon,  and  by  ^^penser  frequently,  li.  v.  c.  I. 
rt.  27: 

'  The  which  her  sire  had  scrap!  by  hooke  and  crookei" 


Canto  I/.]  IIUUIHUAS.  406 

And  practis'd  down  from  forty-foui  931 

I'litil  lliey  tiini'd  us  out  of  door  :* 

Besides  the  herds  of  Boutcfeiis 

We  set  on  work,  without  the  house, 

Wlien  ev'ry  kuiglit  and  citizen 

Kept  legislative  journeymen,  940 

To  brinj;;  them  in  intelliffpnce, 

From  all  [)oints  of  the  rabble's  sensi!-, 

And  fill  the  lobbies  of  both  houses 

With  politic  important  buzzes  ; 

Set  up  conuriittees  of  cabals, t  045 

To  pack  designs  without  the  walls  ; 

Examine  and  draw  up  ail  news, 

And  fit  it  to  our  present  use  ; 

Agree  upon  tlie  plot  of  the  farce. 

And  ev'ry  one  his  part  rehearse  ;  930 

Make  Q's  of  answers,  to  way-lay 

What  th'  other  party's  like  to  say  ;t 

What  repartees,  and  smart  reflections, 

Shall  be  relurn'd  to  all  objections  ; 

And  who  shall  break  the  master  jest,  95& 

And  what,  and  how,  upon  the  rest ; 

Elelp  pamphlets  out,  with  safe  editions, 

Of  proper  slanders  and  seditions, 

And  treason  for  a  token  send. 

By  letter,  to  a  country  friend  ;  966 

Disperse  lampoons,  the  only  wit 

That  men,  like  burglary  commit. 

With  falser  than  a  padder's  face, 

That  all  its  owner  does  betrays  ; 

Who  therefore  dares  not  trust  it,  when  9G5 

He's  in  his  calling,  to  be  seen. 5 

»nd  again,  B.  iii.  c.  1.  st.  17  : 

'•  In  hopes  her  to  attaine  by  hooke  or  crooke." 

jThe  fact  is,  that  hook  is  the  same  as  crook.  See  our  old  diotion- 
iries.  The  orijjinal  ineaiiiiip,  therefore,  was,  either  in  one  ftxriii 
or  the  other.     'I'odd.     Minsliew  e.v|)lains  it/ier  fas  nut  iiefas.] 

*  From  the  time  of  the  sell-denyinc  ordinance,  1044.  when  the 
Presbyterians  were  tnrned  nut  fniiii  all  places  of  protil  and  pow- 
tr;  till  December  7,  1048.  when  they  were  tnrned  out  of  the  par- 
iameiit-himse  by  Colonel  Pride,  forty-one  members  seized  by  the 
soldiers,  and  one  hundred  and  si.vty  cxcluiled. 

t  The  poet  probably  alludes  to  tlie  ministers  of  Charles  tho 
Second,  tlie  initials  of  whose  names  made  up  the  word  cabal, 
Clilii>rd,  Ashley,  Buckinjiham,  Arlinston,  Lauderdale. 

t  Prisoners  in  Newgate,  and  other  jails,  have  often  shain- 
examinatio-ns,  to  prep;tre  Iheiiiwith  answers  f(.r  their  real  trials. 

5  I'addcrs,  or  hiahwaymen,  frequently  cjver  their  faces  witJi 
.  mask  or  piece  of  crape. 


no  IIUDIBRAS.  I  Part  lb 

Disperse  tlie  dung  mi  barren  earth, 

To  bring  new  weeds  of  discord  forlli ; 

Be  sure  to  keep  up  congregations, 

In  spite  of  luw  and  proclamations'  870 

For  charlatans  can  do  no  good, 

Until  they  're  mounted  in  u  crowd 

And  when  they  're  punish'd,  all  the  hurt 

Is  but  to  fare  the  better  for't ; 

As  long  as  confessors  are  sure  875 

Of  double  pay  for  ail  th'  endure,* 

And*vhat  they  earn  in  persecution. 

Are  paid  t'  a  groat  in  contribution : 

Whence  some  tub-holdersforth  have  made 

In  powd'ring  tubs  their  richest  .trade  ;  98J1 

And,  while  they  kept  their  fahops  in  prison, 

Have  found  their  prices  strangely  risen.t 

Disdain  to  own  the  least  regret 

For  all  the  christian  blood  we  've  let ; 

'Twill  save  our  credit,  and  maintain  98J 

Our  title  to  do  so  again  ; 

That  needs  not  cost  one  dram  of  sense, 

But  pertinacious  impudence. 

Our  constancy  t'  our  principles. 

In  time  will  wear  out  all  things  else ;  900 

Like  marble  statues,  rubb"d  in  pieces 

*  Alliidinj;  to  the  three  persons  before-mentioned,  Biirloii, 
Prynne,  and  B;istwick,  who,  having  heeii  pilloried,  fined,  and  Imn- 
ished  to  dirterent  p;'rls  of  the  kinfidonis,  by  tlie  sentence  of  the 
Slar-chanilier,  were  by  the  parliament  afterwards  recalled,  and 
rewarded  out  of  the  estates  of  those  who  had  punished  them. 
In  their  way  back  to  London  they  were  honored  with  loud  ac 
claDiati«  ns,  and  received  many  presents. 

silenc'd  ministers, 

That  pet  estates  by  being  undone 
Fur  tender  conscience,  and  have  none  : 
Like  those  that  with  their  credit  drive 
A  trade  v/ithout  a  slock,  and  thrive. 

Sutler's  Remains,  vol.  i.  p.  03. 
t  Prolialily  powderingtnbs  here  signifies  prisons.    See  P.  iii. 
c.  iiii.  1.  iilO.     When  any  one  Is  in  a  had  scrape,  he  is  said  to  be 
ill  u  pretty  pickle.     See  I',  il.  c.  1.  v.  306.    [Ancient  Pis  "ol  throws 
Bome  liglit  upon  this  passage  when  he  b'.ds  Kym 
"  to  the  splttl  go, 
"  Anrl  from  the  powdering  tub  of  infamy 
"Fetch  forth  the  lazir  kite  of  Cressid's  kind, 
"Doll  Tearsheet  she  by  name,  and  her  es^pousc." 
Butler  may  mean  that  S'lm?  of  the  tub-holdersforth  kept  houses 
of  ill-fame,  from  whence  the  transit  to  the   powdering-tub  was 
frequent.      t^uch    persons   are   also    not    unfrequently   sent   to 
prison,  and  perseciuion  has  ever  the  clfect  of  ruising  Ihe  pricet 
of  the  doctrines  af  the  persecuted.] 


Canto  11.1  IIUDIBR\S.  411 

With  gallantry  of  pilfrrims'  kisses  ;* 

While  those  who  turn  and  wind  their  oatlis, 

Have  swell'd  and  sunk,  like  other  froths  ; 

Prevail'd  a  while,  but  'twas  not  lonjj  OJJ 

Before  from  world  to  world  llicy  swung  ; 

As  they  had  turn'd  from  side  to  side, 

And  as  tiie  ehaufrelinn^s  liv'd,  they  dy'd. 

Tills  said,  th'  impatient  statcsmonger 
Could  now  contain  himself  no  longer.t  lOOt 

\Vho  iiad  not  spar'd  to  sliew  his  piqucst 
Against  th'  harangucr's  politics, 
With  smart  remarks  of  leering  faces, 
And  annotations  of  grimaces. 

After  he  had  administcr'd  a  dose§  1005 

Of  snufFmundungus  to  his  nose, 
And  powder'd  th   uisido  of  his  skull. 
Instead  of  th'  outward  jol)bcrnol,|i 
IIo  shook  it,  with  a  scornful  look. 
On  th'  adversary,  and  thus  he  spoko  1010 

In  dressing  a  calf's  head,  altho' 
The  tongue  and  brains  together  go. 
Both  keep  so  great  a  distance  here, 
'Tis  strange  if  ever  they  come  near  ; 
For  who  did  ever  play  hie  gambols  1015 

With  such  insulTerable  rambles, 
To  make  the  bringing  in  the  king, 
And  keeping  of  him  out,  one  thing? 
Which  none  could  do,  but  those  that  swore 
T'  as  point-blank  nonsense  iieretofore  ;  1020 

That  to  defend  was  to  invade. 
And  to  assassinate  to  aid  :ir 


*  Rmind  the  Casa  Santa  of  Lorelto.  the  m:irl)le  is  worn  into  a 
deep  cliiiniiel,  by  tlie  knees  anil  tci^ses  of  the  pilpriins  and 
ollicrs.  [The  st;ilues  liotli  of  gods  and  siiints  have  heen,  and 
are,  worn  hy  ilie  touch  of  their  votaries;  of  the  former  llie  knees 
were  tlie  siitferiiis  parts.] 

t  As  the  former  orator,  whoever  he  was,  had  harangued  on 
the  side  of  the  l'resl)yterians,  his  anlasonir>t.  Sir  Anthony  Ash- 
ley Calliper,  now  sin:irtly  inveighs  ?.g:ur..:t  them,  and  justilies  the 
principles  and  condnct  of  the  Indei)endents. 

t  His  aversion  or  antip;tthy. 

ij  Pome  e(htions  read,  ministcr'd  a  dose. 

II  That  is,  thick  skull,  stupid  head,  from  the  I^leiiiish,  jobhe 
aiMilsiis,  ignavus,  and  the  Any.  Sax.  cnoll,  vertex. 

1[  Tliis  alludes  to  Ralph,  wlio  was  charged  with  intention  1« 
kill  the  king  when  imprisoned  in  the  isle  of  Wight.  Lord  Cla- 
rendon vol.  iii.  p.  ISO,  intimates  that  sergeant  Wild,  who  was 
eent  to  Winchester  to  try  the  prisoner,  gave  an  unfair  <»!iarce  to 
Ihe  jury,  liy  saying:  "There  was  a  time  indeed  when  intenliona 
"and  words  were  made  treason  ;  but  God  forbid  it  should  («  oe 
35 


J 1-2  IIUDIBRAS.  ri'ART  m 

Unless,  because  you  drove  him  out. 

And  ll.at  was  never  made  a  doubt ; 

No  i)0\v'r  is  able  to  restore  J 025 

And  bring  liiin  in,  but  on  your  score  ; 

A  sp'ritual  doctrine,  that  conduces 

Most  properly  to  all  your  uses. 

"I'is  true,  a  scorpion's  oil  is  said 

To  cure  the  wounds  the  vermin  made  ;*  1030 

And  weapons,  dress'd  with  salves.  rci-:tore 

And  heal  tiie  hurts  they  gave  before  :t 

But  whetiier  prisbyterians  liavc 

So  much  good  nature  as  the  salve, 

Or  virtue  in  then)  as  the  verinin,  1035 

Those  who  have  try'd  them  can  determine. 

Indeed  'tis  pity  you  should  miss 

Th'  arrears  of  all  your  services, 

And  for  th'  eternal  obligation 

Y'  have  laid  ujjou  th'  ungrateful  nation,  104C 

B'  us'd  so  unconscionably  hard, 

As  not  to  find  a  just  reward. 

For  letting  rapine  loose,  and  murther, 

To  rage  just  so  far,  bui  no  further  ;t 

And  stttiiig  all  the  land  on  fire,  1045 

To  burn  t'  a  scantling,  but  no  higher: 

For  vent'ring  to  assassinate. 

And  cut  the  tiiroats  of  cliurch  and  state  ; 

And  not  be  aliow'd  the  fittest  men 

To  take  the  charsje  of  both  ageii:  IOjC 


"  now :  how  did  anyliody  know  luit  that  those  two  men,  Osborne 
"and  Doncet,  would  have  made  away  wiih  the  kin?,  and  that 
"  Ralpli  charged  his  pistol  to  preserve  liiiii."  I'erhaps  the  nolilc 
hisl:irian  here  shows  soriii  thing  of  party  spirit. 

*  Ur.  Mead,  in  his  Ivssay  on  t'oii^ons,  says,  viper-catchers,  if 
they  happen  to  he  hilien  liy  a  viper,  are  so  sure  of  heing  curcil  by 
rubbing  the  fat  upon  the  pl.ice,  that  they  feara  bile  no  more  than 
they  do  the  prick  of  a  pin.  The  Doctor  himself  tried  it  upon 
dogs,  and  found  it  a  sure  remedy,  ile  supposes  the  fat  to  involve, 
and,  as  it  were,  sheaih  the  volatile  salts  of  the  venom.  I'rodesl 
scorpius  ipse  su;e  plagx  impo.situs.  Pliny  in  his  Natural  History 
29.  -ii). 

t  According  to  Sir  Kenelm  Digby's  doctrine  of  sympathy. 

+  'J'hoiuih  the  rrcsbyierians  lieg.in  the  war,  yet  they  pretend- 
ed they  had  no  thoughts  of  occasioning  the  bloodshed  and  de- 
vastation which  was  consequent  upon  it.  'I'hey  intended  to 
l)ring  the  king  to  reas<in,  not  to  munlrr  him.  Hut  it  happened  in 
them,  as  to  the  young  magician  in  I.ucian.  who.  by  certain  worils 
he  liad  learned  of  his  ma.ster,  sent  a  fountain  to  fetch  water; 
The  poor  scholar,  however,  not  recollecting  the  words  to  make 
II  stop,  the  fountain  went  and  fi-lchcd  water  without  ceasing 
till  it  filled  the  house  up  to  the  win<Unvs.  A  similar  la!e  is  ro 
lated  in  verse  by  £ever;il  poets,  both  French  and  English 


l.'ANTo  II. J  IIL'DIBUAS.  413 

Es|)ociully  that  liavc  tlic  grace 

Of  si'll'-doiiyiiig  ^rifted  fucc  ; 

Wild,  wlii'ii  yoiw  projects  liavo  miscarry 'd, 

Can  lay  tliciii,  with  iintlaiiiiti-d  forehead, 

On  those  yoii  ])aiufully  trepaiiu'd,  1053 

And  sprinkled  in  at  second  hand  ; 

As  we  have  been,  to  share  tiie  tiuiit 

Of  cliristiiui  blood,  devoutly  spill  ;* 

For  so  our  ij^norance  was  iianuu'il 

To  damn  ourselves,  t'  avoid  heinij  dainn'd  ;t  lOGO 

Tdl  finding  your  old  foe,  the  hanfi;man. 

Was  like  to  lurch  j'oii  at  backgammon, t 

And  win  your  necks  upon  the  set, 

As  well  as  ours,  who  did  but  bet ; 

For  he  had  drawn  your  ears  before,  1065 

And  nick'd  them  on  the  self-same  score, 

VVe  threw  tlie  box  and  dice  away. 

Before  y'  had  lost  us  at  foul  play  ; 

And  brouglit  yon  down  to  rook  and  lie, 

And  fancy  only  on  the  by  ;§  1070 

Redecm'd  your  forfeit  jobbernoles, 

From  perching  upon  lofty  poles, 

And  rcscu'd  all  your  outward  traitors, 

From  hanging  up,   like  alligators  ;|| 

For  which  ingeniously  ye  'vo  slu'w'd  1075 

Your  presbyterian  gratitude  ; 

Would  freely  have  paid  us  home  in  kind. 


*  The  war  was  heciin  and  carried  on  l)y  llic  Presbyterians  with 
(I  creat  slinw  of  godliness,  for  the  sake  of  religion,  and  In  defence 
of  llie  <;o*|>L'l. 

t  To  inniniit  such  damnable  sins  as  robbery,  rebellion,  and 
murder,  with  a  I'.ow  of  l<ee|)inc  out  Arminianism,  popery,  &c. 
which  we  were  iinde  to  believe  were  likely  tit  overspread  the 
,<inf;doui,  and  would  be  destructive  to  our  salvation.  Thus  iMar- 
tial,  Epi^.  lib.  ii.  80: 

llosiein  cum  fugeret,  se  Fannlus  ipse  peremit 
Hie,  ro^ii,  non  fiuor  est,  ne  niori.ire,  niori  ? 
t  Finding  the   kine  was  likely  to  get  the  better  of  yon,  v.nd 
hat  we  were  all  in  d.inser  of  bcinj;  lian};ed  as  traitors,  we  took 
the  war  fnini  your  hands  into  our  own  niana^'eiuent. 

§  liil-beU  are  bets  made  beside  the  fianie,  ol'ien  by  standers- 
by  :  llie  Presbyterians,  fnim  lieinf;  |irincipals  in  the  cause,  were 
reduced  to  make  a  secondary  flyure,  and  from  playing  the  game 
became  lookers-on. 

II  ."Vlli^'alors  were  frequently  htinjr  up  in  shops  nf  quacks, 
druggists,  and  apothecaries.  Thus  Konieo  says  of  the  Aputhe- 
tary: 

And  in  his  neeily  shop  a  tortoise  hung, 
An  alligator  stufi,  and  other  skins 
Of  ill-shap'd  fishes. 


514  IIUDIBRAS.  f  Part  m. 

And  not  liave  been  one  rope  behind.* 

Tlioso  were  your  motives  to  divide, 

And  scruple,  on  liio  otiier  side,t  1061 

To  turn  your  zealous  frauds,  and  force. 

To  fits  of  conscience  and  remorse  ; 

To  be  conviuc'd  tliey  were  in  vam. 

And  face  about  for  new  again  ; 

For  trulli  no  more  unveil'd  your  eyes,  1085 

Tlian  maggots  are  couvinc'd  to  flies :{ 

\ud  therefore  all  your  lights  and  calls 

Are  but  apocryphal  and  false. 

To  charge  us  with  the  consequences, 

Of  all  your  native  insolences,  10!)0 

That  to  your  own  imperious  wills 

Laid  law  and  gospel  neck  and  heels  ;§ 

Corrupted  the  Old  Testament, 

To  serve  the  New  for  precedent ; 


*  The  Dissenters,  when  in  power,  were  no  enemies  to  perse- 
cution. See  Kissentefi'  Sayings,  by  Sir  Roger  L'EstranKe,  Second 
Part,  printeil  1G8I.  Edwards,  in  his  Full  Answer,  p.  244,  says : 
"  A  tiileratinn  of  one  or  more  different  ways  of  churches  and 
"cluirch  iiovernment  established,  will  be  to  this  kiniidom  very 
'•  miscliievous,  pernicious,  and  dHslructive."  Jjove,  in  liis  ser- 
mon at  U.vliri(he,  January  30, 1G44,  p.  2(i:  "  I  have  often  thought 
"that  too  much  mercy  towards  malignants  hath  made  more  de- 
"linquents  than  ever  justice  punished."  Marshall,  to  the  com- 
mons, February  iJU.  1G4I  :  "Me  is  a  cursed  man  that  withholds 
"his  }iand  from  shedding  of  blood;  or  sliall  do  it,  as  Saul  did 
"against  the  Anialekites,  kill  some,  and  save  some."  And  Bax- 
ter, in  his  Preface  to  the  Nonconformists'  Plea,  "  Liberty,  in  all 
"matters  of  worship  and  of  faith,  is  the  open  and  apparent  way 
"  to  set  up  popery  in  the  lanil."  Calainy  being  asked,  what  he 
would  do  will)  tlio-e  who  differed  from  him  in  opinion,  said, 
"  !Ie  would  not  meddle  with  Iheir  consciences,  only  with  their 
"  persons  and  estates." 

t  He  tells  the  Presbyterians,  that  their  jealousy  of  the  Indepen- 
dents caused  them  to  discontinue  their  e.xertions,  not  any  convic- 
tion of  their  having  been  in  the  wrong. 

}  The  change  was  produced  in  them  merely  by  the  course  of 
their  nature.    The  edition  of  1710  reads : 

Than  maggots  when  they  turn  to  flies. 

$  Some  persons  have  sought  for  a  system  of  natural  philoso 
phy  in  the  Old  Testament, ''inter  viva  (ina;rcntes  mortua,"  as 
Lord  Bacon  says:  who  wisely  adds  "  tantoque  ntagis  hsRC  vani 
"  tas  inhibenda  venit.  el  coercenda,  quia  e.v  divinorum  ct  huma 
"  norum  nialesana  admistione,  nou  sohun  cdiicitur  philosophia 
"  phantastica,  sed  etiam  religin  ha;retica."  Novum  Organmn, 
sect.  Ixv.  Others  have  there  found,  or  thought  they  found,  llio 
fablimesl  doctrines  of  Christianity.  The  famous  Posicllus  ob- 
served, that  tl.cre  were  eleven  thousand  proofs  of  the  Trinity 
In  the  Old  Testumciit,  interjjreted  rightly,  that  is,  tTvixoXoyts-iicus 


Cavtoii.]  IlUDIBllAS.  116 

T'  amend  its  errors  and  defects,  109j 

Witli  murder  and  rebellion  texts;* 

or  wliicli  there  is  not  any  one 

In  ail  llie  booli  to  sow  u|)on  ; 

And  therefore,  from  your  tribe,  the  Jews 

Held  christian  doctrine  fortii,  and  Uic ;  '100 

As  Mahomet,  your  chief,  began 

To  mix  them  in  the  Alcoran  ;t 

Deuounc'd  and  pray'd,  with  fierce  devotion, 

And  bended  elbows  on  the  cushion ; 

Stole  from  the  beggars  all  your  tones,  1105 

And  gifted  mortifying  groans  ; 

Had  lights  where  better  eyes  were  blind, 

As  pigs  are  said  to  see  the  wind  ;t 

Fill'd  Bedlam  with  jjredestination. 

And  Knightsbridge  with  illumination  ;§  illO 

Made  cliildren,  with  your  tones,  to  run  for't, 

As  bad  as  Bloodyboucs  or  LunsfordU 

*  The  Presbyterians,  he  says,  finding  no  coiinlcnancc  for  their 
purposes  in  the  .\c\v  'IVstanient,  took  their  measures  of  oliedience 
iroin  some  instances  of  rehellion  in  the  t)lil.  'i'lie  I'resliyterian 
printer,  who  printed  the  seventh  rommanihiient,  Thou  shall 
coinniit  adultery,  was  lieavily  fined  for  liis  hhnider. 

t  In  liis  I'indaric  Odojipon  an  liypocritical  nun-conformist, 
Remains,  vol.  i.  p.  135,  Mr.  liutler  says : 

For  the  Turks'  patriarch,  IMahoipet, 

\Vas  tlie  first  jiruat  reformer,  and  the  chief 

Ofth'  ancient  christian  belief, 

'J'hat  mi.v'd  it  with  new  lijiiil  and  cheat, 

W'itli  revelatiins,  dreams,  and  visions, 

Anil  apostolic  superstitions. 

'J'o  lie  held  forth,  and  carry'd  on  Iiy  war: 

And  Ills  successor  was  a  presbyter. 

I  Piu's  have  remarkable  small  eyes,  and  yet  are  said  to  be  very 
iagacious  in  foretcHins;  win<l  and  weather.  'I'lais,  in  a  poem 
entitled  lludibras  at  Court,  we  read  : 

And  now,  as  hogs  can  see  the  wind. 
And  storms  at  distance  coming  lind. 

Tills  observation  occurs  three  times  in  the  bonks  filsely  called 
the  Posthumous  Works  of  Mr.  tJamuel  Hniler,  -lih  edition,  J732. 
Plutarch  remarks  a  peculiarity  in  pij;s'  eyes.  They  are  so  situa- 
ted and  constructed,  that  the  animal  cannot  look  upwards,  and 
nc\er  halh  a  view  of  the  heavens  till  he  is  thrown  upon  his 
hack,  and  then,  clamorous  as  he  is,  astonishment  and  terror  si- 
lence liiiii  in  an  instant. 

^  At  this  villa!.'e.  near  London,  was  a  famous  inad-honse,  to 
which  the  poet  alludes. 

I!  lYijihteneil  children  as  much  by  your  preaching,  as  if  yon 
had  told  them  the  dismal  «tory  of  Rawhead  and  I5loody-hones_ 
i»r  had  related  to  them  the  cruelties  which  you  afllrin  were 
practised  by  Colonel  Lun^ford.  Colonel  Lnnslord,  killed  at 
Biiistol,  IC43,  was  a  niau  of  great  sobriety,  industry,  and  couiage 


116  IIUDIBRAS  [Part  lu 

While  women,  <rreat  witli  ciii'd,  Kiiscarry'd, 

For  bein^  to  iiialigiiuiils  inarry'il : 

Traiisfonn'd  all  wives  to  Ualilalis,  1111 

Wiiose  husbands  were  not  lor  the  cause  ;* 


but  his  enemies  piiinted  him  as  a  cruel  hriilo.  Sir  Thomas 
Lun^liird  wiis  made  lleiilenant  nttlie  Touer  liy  tlie  kin^,  h  liule 
before  the  l)eRiiitiin'!  <il"  the  war:  liul  allerwards  removed  by 
him  at  the  desire  of  llie  parliamenl.  An  order  was  made  in 
the  parliameiu  fur  siipiiresjiii};  Liiiisfi)rd  anil  Lord  Dijiliy,  Ihough 
at  the  same  time  all  ilie  cavalry  llicy  had  was  an  hired  coach 
and  six  hor-es.  In  the  third  act  of  S.r  Robert  Howard's  comedy 
of  Tlie  Committee,  the  first  hailitisays  : 

O!  'tis  a  bloody-minded  man  ! 

I'll  warrant  you  this  vile  cavalier  has  eat  many  a  child. 

[Dr.  (5rey  says  :  It  was  one  of  the  artifices  of  the  malecontents 
in  the  civil  war  to  raise  false  alarms,  and  to  fill  the  people  full 
of  frightful  -apprehensions.  In  particular  they  riised  a  terrible 
outcry  of  ihe  ima-iinary  danger  they  conceived  from  the  Lord 
Digl)y,  and  Colonel  Lunsford.  I,ill)ourn  glories  upon  his  trial,  for 
being  an  incendiary  on  such  occasions,  and  mentiotis  the  tumult 
he  raised  against  Ihe  innocent  coli  nel  as  a  njeritorious  action; 
"1  was  once  arraigned,"  says  he,  "  before  the  house  of  peers, 
"for  sticking  close  to  the  liberties  and  privileges  of  this  nation, 
"  and  those  that  stood  for  them,  being  one  of  those  two  or  three 
"men  that  first  drew  their  swords  in  Weslminster-hall  against 
"Colonel  Lunsford,  anil  some  scores  of  his  associates.  At  that 
"  time  it  was  supposed  lliey  intendefl  to  cut  the  throats  of  the 
"chiefesi  men  tiien  sitting  in  the  hoii*e  of  peers."  And  to  ren- 
der him  the  more  odious,  they  reported  that  he  w.is  of  so  brutal 
an  appetite  that  he  would  eat  chiUlren.  (Kchard's  History  of 
England,  vol.  ii.  p.  28(i,)  wliich  scandalous  insinuation  is  de 
scrvedly  ridiculed  in  the  following  lines: 

From  Fieldinsr.  and  from  Vavasour, 
both  ill-affected  men  ; 

From  Lunsford  eke  deliver  us, 
That  eateth  np  children. 
The  Parliament  Hymns,  Collection  of  Loyal  Songs, 

vol.  i.  No.  xvii.  p.  38. 

Cleveland  banters  lh"m  upon  the  same  head  : 

The  post  tliat  came  from  Banburj, 

Kiding  in  a  blue  rocket. 
He  swore  he  s  iw,  when  Lunsford  fell, 
A  chilli's  arm  in  h.s  pocket. 
And  to  tnake  this  gentleman  the  more  detectable,  they  mad* 
horrid  pictures  of  him,  .as  we  learn  from  the  (iillowing  lines  of 
Mr.  Cleveland  :  Rupertismus,  Works,  1()77,  ii.  tJ7  : 
"They  fear  the  giblets  of  his  train,  they  fear 
"  Kven  his  dog.  that  four-legg'd  cavalier; 
"He  that  devours  the  scraps  which  Lunsford  makes, 
"  Wlose  picture  feeds  upon  a  child  in  stakes  " 
Mr.  Gayton,  in  banter  of  this  idle  opinion,  (see  \oles  on  Don 
tluixoie,  liijiik  iii.  chaji.  vi.  p.  103,)  calls  Saturn  the  very  Luns- 
ford of  the  deities. j 
•  If  the  husband  siJed  not  with  the  Presbyterians,  his  wifl 


Canto  U.J  flUDIBRAS.  417 

And  turn'il  ilie  mm  to  ten-Iioni'd  caltle, 

Because  tliey  came  not  out  to  battle  ;* 

Made  tailors'  "prentices  turn  heroes, 

For  fear  of  beln<f  transfona'd  to  Meroz,'*  lliiC 

And  rather  I'orl'eil  their  indentures, 

Tlian  not  esponse  the  saints'  adventures: 

Could  Uansuhstantiate,  nietamorpho.se, 

And  charm  whole  lierds  of  beasts,  like  Orplieus  ;t 

Enchant  the  kinjr's  and  church's  lands,  1125 

T'  obey  and  follow  your  commands, 

And  settle  on  a  new  freehold, 

As  Murcle-hill  had  done  of  old  :§ 

Could  tmn  tlie  cov'nant,  and  translate 

The  gospel  into  spoons  and  plate  ;  U30 

Expound  upon  all  merchants'  cashes, 

And  open  tli'  intricatcst  places  ; 

Could  catechize  a  money-box. 

And  prove  all  pouches  orthodox  ; 


ivas  represented  as  insiilious  and  a  lictrayer  of  her  country's 
iiiieresi,  siicli  us  Ualiliih  was  to  Samson  and  the  Israelites. 
Jadges  xvi. 

*  Rescinliled  thcni  to  the  ten  horns,  or  ten  kinps.  who  gave 
their  power  and  slrcnjilh  to  llie  lieast.  Kevelation,  xvii.  12. 
See  also  Daniel  vii.  v.  7.  A  cuckold  is  called  a  hnrned  beast; 
a  notorious  ciickdid  may  be  called  a  ten-horned  beast,  there 
being  no  beast  known  witb  more  horns  tban  the  beast  in  vision. 

t  "Curse  ye  Meroz,"  said  the  angel  ot'  the  Lord;  "Curse  ye 
"bitterly  the  inhabitants  tliereot";  because  they  came  nnt  to  the 
"help  of  the  Lord  against  the  mighty."  .ludjres  v.  23.  This 
was  a  I'avorite  text  with  those  who  preached  for  the  parlia- 
ment: and  it  assisted  them  much  in  raising  recruits. 

%  Mulcentem  tigres,  et  agcntcm  carmine  qurrcus. 

Ceorg.  iv.  510. 

^  Not  far  from  Ledbury,  in  Herefordshire,  toward  the  conflux 
of  the  Lug  and  Wye,  in  the  p:irish  of  M;ircle,  is  a  hill,  which  in 
the  year  loT.i  mo/ed  to  a  considerable  distance.  Philips  in  his 
Cidej,  (p.  12,  1.  801,  ed.  Dunster,)  speaking  of  ftlarcle-hill,  says: 

Deceitful  ground,  who  knows  but  that  once  more 
The  mount  uny  ji/urney,  and  his  present  .site 
Forsaking,  U>  thy  neighbuurs'  bounds  transfer 
The  goodly  plants,  alfording  matter  strange 
For  law  debates 

Camden,  in  his  Life  of  Queen  Elizabeth,  book  ii.  p.  20,  thinks 
the  molion  was  occasioned  by  an  earlhiiu:ike,  which  he  calls 
brasniatia;  though  the  ciiuse  of  it  more  probably  was  a  sub- 
lerraneous  curr.;nt.  Some  houses  and  a  chiipel  were  over- 
turned. 1  remember  an  accident  of  this  kind  which  happc—  ' 
near  Grafton,  on  tlie  side  of  Hredon-hill.  and  another  n 
Broseley  in  Shropsldre.  A  similar  phenomenon  was  observed 
M  F,r<ige,  in  Juilea,  in  the  time  of  king  Uzziab,  and  is  recorded 
by  Joi^ephus,  lib.  ix.  cap.  II. 


lis  IIUDIBRAS.  [Pakt  ih 

Ui'.lil  tSe  cause  became  a  Damon,  II J5 

And  Pj'tliiu-s  the  wicked  IM amnion.* 

And  yet,  in  spite  of  all  your  ciiarms 
To  conjure  legions  np  in  arms, 
And  raise  more  devils  in  the  rout 
Tlian  e'er  y'  were  able  to  cast  out,  IIM 

Y'  have  been  rcduc'd,  and  by  those  foo.s, 
Bred  up,  you  say,  in  your  own  schools, 
Wlio,  tlio'  but  gifted  at  your  feet.t 
Have  made  it  plain  they  liavo  more  wit, 
By  whom  you've  been  so  oft'  trepann'd,  1145 

And  held  forth  out  of  all  command: 
Out-gifted,  out-impuls'd,  out-done, 
And  out-reveaPd  at  carryings-on  ; 
Of  all  your  disjicusations  worm'd, 
Out-providenc"d  and  out-reform"d  ;  1150 

Ejected  out  of  church  and  state. 
And  all  things  but  the  people's  hate  ; 
And  spirited  out  of  tli'  enjoyments 
Of  precious,  edifying  employments, 


*  Until  Mammon  and  the  cause  were  as  closely  united,  anil 
as  dear  friends  as  Uinion  and  I'ylliias.  two  pi-rsons  whose 
friendship  is  celehr.ited  liy  IMiUarcli,  Valeriin  Maxiiiius.  and 
olhers.  In  .lamlilichus's  Life  of  I'ylha^oras,  .\o.  iilM,  this  story- 
is  related  at  lenjith  from  Arislo.\enu<,  who  heard  it  from  the 
inoiuh  of  Dionysius  himself,  the  tyrant  concerned,  after  he  was 
dispossessed  of  the  sovereignty,  and  became  a  schoolmaster  at 
Corinth.  As  it  rests  upon  hetler  authority  than  Mich  narratives 
jn  general  can  appeal  to,  it  is  here  al)ridL'e<l  liir  the  amnscment 
of  the  reader.  Thongh  I  must  lirst  ohserve,  ihit  the  trne  name 
of  one  of  those  friends  was  not  I'ythias,  liut  I'liinlias.  !?ee 
Porphyr.  in  vita  Pythagorte.  ult.  p.  53,  ed.  Kii>ter.  'I'till.  de  Otfic. 
iii.  10,  and  Lactantius,  v.  IT. — The  courtiers  of  Dionysius  the 
younger,  tyrant  of  Sicily,  contended  in  his  presence  that  the 
boasted  virlnes  of  the  Pythagoreans,  their  determine<l  spirit, 
their  apathy,  their  firnmess  in  friendship,  were  all  mere  illusions, 
which  would  vanish  on  the  first  appearance  of  danger  or  dis- 
tress. To  prove  this  assertion,  they  agreed  to  accuse  I'hintias, 
one  of  the  .sect,  of  a  conspiracy  against  the  sovereign,  lie  was 
summoned  before  the  tyrant,  who  informed  him  of  the  charge, 
and  to  his  great  surprise  adiled,  that  there  was  the  fullest  evi- 
dence of  his  Hnilt,  and  he  imist  die.  I'hintias  replied,  if  it  were 
so,  he  would  only  beg  the  respite  of  a  few  hours,  wl.ile  he 
might  go  home  and  settle  the  common  conierns  of  his  friend 
bamon  and  himself:  in  the  mean  time,  D.imoa  would  lie  se- 
curity fr)r  his  appearance.  Dionysius  assented  to  the  proposal  ; 
and  when  Damon  surrendered  himself  the  couitiers  all  sneered, 
concluding  that  he  was  become  the  dnpe  of  his  own  credulity. 
But,  on  the  return  of  I'hintias  in  the  evening,  to  release  his  bail, 
and  subtnit  to  his  sentence,  they  were  i|nite  astonished;  and 
none  more  tlian  tiie  tyrant  himsell'.  who  emhiaced  the  illustrious 
pair,  and  reiiuested  they  would  admit  him  to  a  share  in  theil 
uwntiship 

t  "  Bred  up  at  the  feel  of  Gamaliel." 


Canto  i..1  IIUDIBRAS.  41S 

By  those  who  lodg'd  their  {jifts  and  graces,  1155 

Like  belter  bowlers,  in  your  places: 

All  which  yon  boro  with  ro.sokUion, 

Charg'd  on  th'  account  of  persecution  ; 

And  tlio'  most  righteously  oi)|)ress'd, 

Against  your  wills,  still  acquiesc'd  ;  IIGO 

And  never  lunnni'd  and  hah'd  sedition, 

Nor  snuffled  treason,  nor  misprision  : 

That  is,  because  you  never  durst ; 

For  had  you  preach'd  and  pray'd  your  worst, 

Alas  !  you  were  no  longer  able  11 03 

To  raise  your  posse  of  the  rabble : 

One  single  redcoat  sentinel 

Outcharin"d  the  magic  of  the  spell. 

And,  witii  his  squirt-tire,*  could  disperse 

Whole  troops  with  chapter  rais'd  and  verse.  117C 

We  knew  too  well  those  tricks  of  yours, 

To  leave  it  ever  in  your  powers, 

Or  trust  our  safeties,  or  undoings, 

To  your  disposing  of  outgoings, 

Or  to  your  ordering  providence,  1175 

One  farthing's  worth  of  consequence. 

For  had  yon  pow'r  to  undermine, 

Or  wit  to  carry  a  design, 

Or  correspondence  to  trepan, 

Inveigle,  or  betray  one  man  ;  1190 

There's  nothing  else  that  intervenes. 

And  bars  your  zeal  to  use  the  means  ; 

And  therefore  wond'rous  like,  no  doubt, 

To  bring  in  kings,  or  keep  them  out : 

Brave  undertakers  to  restore,  1185 

That  could  not  keep  yourselves  in  pow'r  ; 

T'  advance  the  int'rests  of  the  crown, 

That  wanted  wit  to  keep  your  own. 

'Tis  true  you  have,  for  I'd  be  loth 

To  wrong  ye,  done  your  parls  in  both  ;  U9t 

To  keep  him  out,  and  bring  him  in, 

As  grace  is  introduc'd  by  sin  :t 

For  'twas  your  zealous  want  of  sense, 

And  sanctify 'fl  impertinence  ; 

Your  carrying  bus'ness  in  a  huddle,  1195 

That  forc'd  our  rulers  to  new-model ; 

Oblig'd  the  state  to  tack  about. 

And  turn  you,  root  and  branch,  all  out ; 

*  His  niuskel.  so  called  in  the  trie  spirit  of  linrlcsqiie. 
t  Tlius  S:iiiit  I'aiil  to  llic  Kuiiians  :  '°  isltall  we  ccntiiiue  io  lia 
(hat  grace  may  abound  V 


120  IIUDIBRAS.  TPart  m 

To  refonnado,  one  and  all, 

T'  your  great  croysado  general  :*  120* 

Your  greedy  slav'ring  to  dcvour,t 

Before  'twas  iu  your  clutches'  pow'r  ; 

That  sprung  the  game  you  were  to  sei. 

Before  ye  'ad  tin)c  to  draw  the  net : 

Your  sj)ite  to  see  tlie  church's  lands  ISOA 

Divided  into  other  hands, 

And  all  your  sacrilegious  ventures 

Laid  out  in  tickets  and  debentures: 

Your  envy  to  he  sjirinkled  down, 

By  uuder-churches  in  the  town  ;t  1210 

And  no  course  us'd  to  stop  their  mouths, 

Nor  th'  independents'  spreading  growths  : 

All  which  consider'd,  'tis  most  true 

None  bring  him  in  so  much  as  you, 

Who  have  prevail'd  beyond  their  plots,§  12I"i 


*  The  parliament,  that  they  ii)i|.'ht  not  seem  to  continue  the 
war  from  anyre^iinl  to  their  own  interest  and  advantage,  pnssed 
H  vote,  Decenibcr  'J.  1()44.  to  prevent  the  memhers  of  either  lidiise 
from  hoUlinfi  utlices  in  the  state.  This  was  called  the  self-deny 
ing  ordinance.  The  secret  intention  of  it  was  to  lessen  tlie  in 
fluence  of  the  Preshyterians,  which  it  soon  effected,  liy  deprivin;; 
Essex,  their  general',  and  many  others,  of  their  employnieius. 
He  calls  him  their  croisado  general,  because  they  pretended  to 
engage  in  the  war  chiefly  on  account  of  religion  :  the  holy  war 
against  the  Turks  and  Saracens  had  llie  name  of  croisado,  from 
the  cross  displavedon  the  banners.  The  old  annotator,  and  after 
him  Dr.  Grey,  tells  us,  that  the  general  here  designed  was  Fair- 
fax, liut  neither  the  scope  of  the  poet,  nor  the  truth  of  history, 
will  admit  of  this  api)rKation  of  the  passage.  For  the  person 
who  speaks  is  an  Independent,  and  he  tells  the  Presbyterian  that 
the  Independents  were  obliged  to  turn  out  the  Presbyterians  and 
their  general.  This  suits  e.xactly  with  Essex,  who  altogether 
espoused  the  Presbyterian  interest;  and  was  laid  aside,  witli  the 
rest  of  the  Presbyterians,  by  the  contrivance  above  mentioned. 
Whereas  Fairfax,  though  he  thtmght  himself  a  Presbyterian,  as 
Lord  Clarendon  says,  was  always  linked  with  llie  Inilepen<leiits, 
and  e.xecuted  their  designs.  He  was  first  raided  to  the  command 
by  the  intrigues  of  Cromwell  and  Ireton,  because  they  knew  him 
to  be  an  easy  man,  one  who  would  submit  to  their  direction 
Neither  is  it  true  that  Fairfax  was  dismissed.  On  the  contrary, 
he  laid  down  his  commission,  though  Cron)well,  Whitelock,  ami 
the  heads  of  the  parly,  desired  him  to  keep  his  command,  and  a 
solemn  conference  was  held  with  him,  the  p  irtici-ltirs  whereof 
may  be  seen  in  \Vhitelock's  Menmrial.  The  reader  must  con- 
stantly remember,  that  it  is  an  Independent  her«  speaking,  de- 
fending his  sect  against  the  former  speaker,  who  was  a  Presby- 
terian. 

t  'J'hat  is,  letting  your  mouths  greedily  water. 

i  Your  impatience  under  the  disgrace  of  being  out-preached 
ky  the  Independent  teachers. 

$  The  plots  of  the  royalists,  I  think,  are  here  meant,  ttiousD 
to  that  sense  the  passage  is  not  strictly  grainiiiatkal. 


Canto  II.]  IIUDIRIIAS.  4:21 

Their  niidniglit  juntos,  and  scal'd  knots  ; 

That  tlirivo  more  by  your  zealous  piques, 

Than  ail  tlieir  own  rash  politics. 

And  liiis  way  you  may  claim  a  share 

In  carrying,  as  you  brag,  tli'  uftliir,  1220 

Else  frogs  and  toads,  that  croak'd  the  Jews 

From  Pharaoh  and  his  brick-kilns  loose. 

And  flics  and  mange,  that  set  them  free 

From  task-masters  and  slavery, 

Were  likelier  to  do  tiio  feat,  1225 

la  any  indifF'rcnt  man's  conceit : 

For  who  e'er  heard  of  restoration, 

Until  your  thorough  reformation  '■* 

That  is,  the  king's  and  ciimch's  lands 

Were  sequester'd  int'  other  liands  :  1230 

I'br  only  then,  and  not  before, 

Vour  eyes  were  open'd  to  restore  ; 

And  when  the  work  was  carrying  on. 

Who  cross'tl  it,  ImU  yourselves  alone? 

As  by  a  world  of  hints  a|)pears,  IS;!.*! 

All  plain,  and  extant,  as  your  ears.t 

Hut  first,  o'  til'  first :  The  isle  of  Wight 
Will  rise  up,  if  you  shou'd  deny  't ; 
Where  Henderson  and  th'  other  masses,! 


*  The  Independent  here  charges  the  Presliyterians  with  hav- 
ing no  desijin  of  reslorin-i  the  king,  nntwithstandine  the  merit 
Jhev  ;nade  of  such  intentions  after  the  restoration,  until  they 
Iveie  turned  nut  of  ail  profit  by  sale  of  the  crown  and  church 
.ands,  and  that  it  was  not  their  loyally,  but  tlieir  disappoint- 
.iient  and  resentment  against  the  Independents,  that  made 
them  think  of  treating  with  the  king. 

1  May  be  spoken  in  ridicule,  because  many  of  the  Presby- 
terians h,id  lost  tlieir  ears  in  the  pillory.  Or  the  poet  may  re- 
collect his  "long  ear'd  rout."  In  IJryden's  Hind  and  Panther, 
we  have  a  similar  allusion  : 

And  pricks  up  his  predestinating  ears. 

1  That  is,  tlie  other  divines.  Ministers  in  those  days  wern 
called  masters,  as  they  are  at  the  8.')4th  line  of  this  canto.  Omi 
of  this  order  woulil  have  been  styled,  not  the  reverend,  but 
master,  or  master  doctor  such  an  one;  and  sometimes,  for 
brevity's  sake,  and  familiarly,  mas;  the  plural  of  which,  our 
poet  makes  eiasses  Pee  Ben  .Johnson,  and  Spectator,  No.  147  * 
Mr.  Butler,  in  this  jilace,  must  he  charged  with  a  small  an- 
achronism ;  for  the  treaty  at  the  isle  of  Wight  was  subsequent 
^o  the  death  of  Henderson  by  the  space  of  two  years.  The 
divines  employed  there,  were  fMarshal,  Vines,  Caryl,  Seaman, 
Jenkyns,  and  Shurston  :  Henderson  was  present  at  the  Uxbridge 

•  Andrew  Cam  is  lliere  rnlled  Mas  Cant. 

t  Carte  savs.  Mar*!.*.,  V.iie-s  ami  i»o  others.  Stephen  Marshal,  he  sajl, 
was  a  bloody  n;lii  in  all  his  prayers  and  •ermons;  and  Mr.  Vines  a  naoxl 
Jbristian  spi'H,  mure  .;..>(lest,  learned,  pious,  and  rational  in  nis  diRCoutw*. 


i2'2  IIUDIBRAS.  TPart  m 

Were  sent  to  cap  texts,  and  put  cases:  1211 

To  pass  tor  deep  and  learned  scholars, 

Altlio'  but  paltry  Ob  and  Sollers  :* 

As  if  th'  unseasonable  fools 

Had  been  a  coursinj;  in  the  scliools.t 

Until  they  'ad  prov'd  the  devil  author  124S 

O'  th'  covenant,  and  the  cause  his  daughter ; 

trealj-;  an<I  (Vispiited  with  tlie  king  at  Xewcistle  when  he  was 
.n  Ihe  Scottish  ariiiy.  S^oon  alter  which  he  died,  as  some  said, 
of  grief,  because  he  could  not  convince  the  king  :  hut  as  others 
said,  of  roniorse.  for  havini;  opposed  hiui.  According  to  these 
last,  while  on  liis  deailihed,  he  published  a  solemn  declaration 
to  the  parliament  and  synod  of  Englind,  setting  forth  that 
they  had  been  abused  with  most  false  .-ispersions  against  his 
majesty  ;  and  that  they  ought  to  restore  him  to  his  full  rights, 
royal  throne  and  dignity,  lest  an  endless  chiiracler  of  ingratitude 
lie  upon  them.  Of  the  king  himself,  beside  commending  his 
justice,  magnanimity,  and  other  virliie*,  he  speaks  in  these 
terms  ;  "  I  do  declare  before  God  and  the  world,  whether  in  re 
"  lation  to  the  kirk  or  state,  I  found  his  majesty  the  iii,«t  intel- 
"  ligent  man  that  I  ever  sp  ike  with  ;  as  far  beyond  my  expres- 
"sion  as  expectation.  1  profess,  I  was  oftentimes  astonished 
"  with  the  quickness  of  his  reasons  and  replies  :  wondered  how 
"  he,  spending  his  lime  in  sport  and  recreations,  could  have  at- 
"tained  to  so  great  knowledge:  and  I  mu<t  confess,  that  I  was 
"  convinced  in  conscience,  and  knew  not  how  to  give  him  any 
"  reasonable  satisfaction.  Yet  the  sweetness  of  his  disposition 
"is  such,  that  whatever  I  said  was  well  taken.  I  must  say, 
"  that  I  never  met  with  any  disputant  of  IhM  mild  and  calm 
"  temper,  which  convinced  me,  that  his  wisdom  and  modera- 
"  tion  could  not  be  without  an  extraordinary  measure  of  divine 
'■  firace.  I  dare  say,  if  his  advice  had  been  followed,  all  the 
"  'jlood  that  has  been  shed,  and  all  the  rapine  that  has  been 
"  rommitted,  would  have  been  prevenled."  If  it  be  true  that 
Henderson  made  this  declaration,  it  will  amount  to  the  highest 
encomium  that  could  possibly  be  bestowed  upon  the  king,  par 
ticularly  as  coming  from  the  mouth  of  an  enemy. 

*  That  is,  although  only  contemplilile  d  ibbler-;  in  school  logic. 
So  in  Burton's  Melancholy,  "  A  pack  of  Olis  and  t'ollers."  The 
polemic  divines  of  that  age  and  stamp,  filled  the  margins  both  of 
their  tracts  and  sermons  with  the  words  Ob  and  t^ol ;  the  one 
standing  for  objection,  the  other  for  S(dulion.  Bishop  i^anderson, 
in  his  Concio  ad  Aulam,  says—"  The  devil  is  an  arr  int  sopliislcr, 
'and  will  not  take  an  answer,  though  never  so  reasonable  and 
"  satisfactory,  but  will  ever  have  somewhat  or  other  to  reply. — 
'So  long  as' we  hold  us  but  to  Ob  and  Sol.  to  argument  and 
'answer,  he  will  never  out,  but  wrangle  ad  infiailnm."  So  we 
■ay,  pro  and  con.  The  olil  annotator's  note  on  this  passage  is  so 
erroneous,  as  to  si;  «w  plainly  that  he  could  not  be  Butler. 

t  Coursing  is  a  term  used  in  the  univer-iiy  of  Oxford  for  some 
exercises  preparauiry  to  a  master's  degree.  They  were  disputa- 
tions in  Lent,  which  were  regulated  by  Dr.  John  Fell ;  for  beloro 
his  time,  the  endeavors  of  one  parly  to  run  down  and  confuli 
another  in  disputations,  did  commonly  end  in  blows,  and  domes 
tic  nuarrpls,  the  refuge  of  the  vanquis'ied  party.  Wood's  Alhen. 
vol.  ii.  p.  (i03.  Hence,  and  from  another  pass  ige  or  two,  it  ha< 
Iwen  thought  that  Mr,  Butler  had  received  an  acadeuiiGil  ediira 
tun. 


Canto  ii.]  IIUDIBRAS.  423 

For  wlion  tlmy  charg'tJ  liiin  with  the  guilt 

Of  all  the  blood  that  had  been  spilt, 

They  did  not  mean  lie  wrought  th'  effusion 

In  ])ei-son,  like  Sir  I'ride,  or  Hughson,*  1250 

lint  only  those  who  first  begun 

The  quarrel  were  by  him  set  on  ; 

And  who  could  those  be  but  the  saints, 

Those  reformation  termagants? 

But  ere  this  pass'd,  the  wise  debate  255 

Spent  so  much  time  it  grew  too  late  ;t 

For  Oliver  had  gotten  groimd, 

T'  enclose  him  with  his  warriors  round; 

Had  brought  his  providence  about, 

And  turn"d  th'  untimely  sopliists  out.t  1260 

Nor  had  the  Uxbridgo  bus'ness  less 
Of  nonsense  in  't,  or  sottishiiess  ; 
When  from  a  scoundiel  holderforth,§ 
The  scum,  as  well  as  son  o'  the  earth, 
Your  mighty  senators  took  law,  1205 

At  his  command  were  forc'd  t'  withdraw. 
And  sacrifice  the  peace  o'  th'  nation 
To  doctrine,  use,  and  aj)plication. 
So  when  the  Scots,  your  constant  cronies, 
Th'  espousers  of  your  cause  and  monies, ||  1270 


*  Pride  was  oric'mally  a  drayman  ;  but  at  last  became  a  famous 
colonel  in  tbe  parliiiment  army,  was  knighted  by  Cromwell  with 
a  fajiot  stick,  hence  in  <leiision  called  Sir  Pride,  and  made  one 
of  his  lords  in  parliament.  Hujrhson  was  at  tirst  a  shoemaker 
or  a  coliblor,  afterwards  colonel  in  the  parliament  army,  and  one 
of  Oliver's  lords  of  the  upper  liouse. 

t  Tbe  treaty  at  tbe  Isle  of  Wijjht  was  appointed  at  the  first 
for  forty  d  lys ;  then  ciintinue.-  for  fourteen  days  lonfier,  then  for 
four,  and  at  last  lor  one  more  15y  this  artifice  the  king's  ene- 
mies frave  ("romwell  time  to  return  from  Scotland.  Whereas  it 
had  been  tbe  true  interest  and  policy  of  all  that  desired  [)oace 
and  a  settlement  of  the  kingdom,  to  have  hastened  the  treaty 
while  the  army  was  absent. — Lord  Clarendon.  Uurjnir  the  treaty, 
Cromwell  and  bis  ottiiers  fro(i;iently  petitioned  parliament  to 
punish  delinquents. —  VVhilclock's  Mem. 

t  Untimely,  usually  signifies  jircmauire,  but  here,  unseason- 
able. 

§  Christopher  Love,  a  furious  Presbyterian,  who  preached  a 
)erinc)n  at  U.tbridjie  during  the  treaty  held  there,  intniducing 
many  reflections  upon  bis  majesty's  person  and  government,  and 
stirring  up  the  people  aL'ainst  the  king's  cojnmissioners.  He  was 
executcil  in  IGJl  for  treason,  by  means  of  Cromwell  and  tbe  In- 
dependents. 

II  The  Scots,  in  their  first  expedition,  1C40,  had  300,000/.  given 
them  fur  bnuherly  assistance,  besides  a  contribution  of  8J0/.  a 
day  from  the  northern  counties.  In  their  second  e.vpedition 
1643,  besides  much  free  quarter,  they  had  19,700/.  monthly,  and 
received  72,972i.  in  one  year  l»y  customs  on  coais.  The  parlia- 
36 


J24  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  ri. 

Who  had  so  often,  in  your  aid, 

So  many  ways  been  soundly  paid, 

Came  in  at  last  lor  better  ends. 

To  prove  tliemsclves  your  trusty  friends, 

You  basely  left  them,  and  the  church  ISTJI 

Tliey  train'd  you  up  to,  in  the  lurch, 

And  sufter'd  your  own  tribe  of  christians 

To  fall  before,  as  true  Fnilistines.* 

This  shews  what  utensils  y'  have  been, 

To  bring  the  king's  concernments  in  ;  128(1 

Which  is  so  far  from  being  true, 

That  none  but  lie  can  bring  in  you  ; 

And  if  he  take  you  into  trust, 

Will  find  you  most  exactly  just. 

Such  as  will  punctually  repay  iat>i» 

With  double  int'rest,  and  betray. 

Not  that  I  think  those  pantomimes, 
Who  vary  action  with  the  times. 
Are  less  ingenious  in  their  art, 

Than  those  who  dully  act  one  part  ;  l'-iui» 

Or  those  who  turn  from  side  to  side. 
More  guilty  than  the  wind  and  tide. 
All  countries  are  a  wise  man's  home,t 
And  so  are  governments  to  some. 
Who  change  them  for  the  same  intrigues  I'i'JS 

That  statesmen  use  in  breaking  leagues  ; 
While  others  in  old  faiths  and  troths 
Look  odd,  as  out-of-fashion'd  clothes. 
And  nastier  in  au  old  opinion, 

Than  those  who  never  shift  their  linen.  1300 

For  true  and  faithful  's  sure  to  lose, 
Which  way  soever  the  game  goes  ; 
And  whether  parties  lose  or  win, 
Is  always  nick'd,  or  else  hedg'd  in  : 
Wi)ile  pow'r  usurp'd,  like  stol'n  delight,  1305 


ment  agreed  with  them  for  400,000^  on  the  surrender  of  Ihe 
sing. — Uimdiile. 

*  The  Sccits  iirade  a  third  expedition  intn  En-rhind,  10^8.  under 
Duke  Iliiiiiilton,  which  was  supposed  to  he  intended  lor  llie 
rescue  of  tlie  king.  'I'liey  entered  a  fourth  time  under  Charles 
11.,  when  the  Presliyterians  were  expected  to  join  them.  Yel 
the  hitter  assisted  Cr'ouiwell ;  even  their  preachers  marched  wilh 
him  ;  tlius  sutferin';  l're>l)yteriHn  hrelhren.  a  portion  of  the  true 
'.liurcli,  or  true  I-Meliles,  lo  fall  liefore  Ihe  Independent  army, 
•\i)om  tliey  reckoned  no  better  than  Philistines. 

t  Oiime  solum  forli  patria  est.  Ovid. 

11)1  esse  judicalio  Kcmam,  ubicunijue  liberum  esse  licebil,  »ttyi 
Brutus  in  a  letter  to  Cicero. 


r,ANTOji.]  IIUDIBRAS.  425 

Is  more  bowitchm^j  than  the  riirlit : 

And  kvlien  tlie  times  beifiii  to  aUer, 

None  rise  so  liigh  as  from  the  halter.* 

And  so  we  may,  if  we  'vo  hnt  sense 

I'o  use  tlie  necessary  means,  1310 

And  not  yonr  usual  stratagems 

On  one  another,  liglits,  and  dreams 

To  stand  on  terms  as  positive, 

As  if  we  did  not  take,  but  give  : 

Set  up  the  covenant  on  crutches,  1315 

'Gainst  those  who  have  us  in  tlieir  clutclies, 

And  dream  of  pulhiig  churches  down, 

Before  wc  're  sure  to  prop  our  own  : 

Your  constant  method  of  proceeding. 

Without  tlie  carnal  means  of  heeding,  1320 

Who,  'twixt  your  inward  sense  and  outward, 

Are  worse,  than  if  ye  'ad  none  accoutred. 

I  grant  all  courses  are  in  vain, 

Unless  we  can  get  in  again  :t 

The  only  way  that's  left  us  now,  1325 

But  all  the  difficulty's,  how  ? 

'Tis  true  we  've  money,  th'  only  power 

That  all  mankind  falls  down  before, 

Money,  that,  like  the  swords  of  kings, 

Is  the  last  reason  of  all  things  ;t  1330 

And  therefore  need  not  doubt  our  piay 

Has  all  advantages  that  way  ; 

As  long  as  men  have  faith  to  sell, 

And  meet  with  those  that  can  pay  well ; 

Whose  half-starv'd  pride  and  avarice,  1333 


*  111  a  conference  hetween  Mr.  le  President  de  Bellievre  and 
Cardinal  de  Retz,  I  will  lell  you,  said  tlie  former,  what  I  learned 
from  Cromwell.  II  me  disoit  un  jour,  que  Ton  ne  nionloit  ja- 
mais si  haul,  que  quiuid  (in  ne  sail  (ivi  I'cin  va.  Vous  savez,  dis- 
je  a  IJellievre,  (|ue  j'ai  horreur  pour  Cromwell ;  mais,  qnelque 
grand  h;inime  qu'on  nous  le  prone,  j'ajiiiup  le  mepris  ;  s'il  est 
de  ce  sentiment,  il  est  d'an  fou.  Do  Retz  adds,  that  this  conve'r- 
sation  came  to  Oomwell's  ears ;  and  that  he  had  like  to  have 
paid  dearly  in  the  sequel  for  the  indiscretion  of  his  tongue. — 
Mem.  de  Ketz,  vol.  ii.  lib.  ill.  p.  '.iS't. 

t  When  General  WcinU  restored  the  excludca  mcmber.>,  the 
rumpers,  perceiving  they  could  not  carry  things  their  own  way, 
iind  rule  as  they  had  done,  quitted  the  house. 

i  Diddorus  Siculus  relates,  that  when  the  height  of  the  walls 
<)f  Ampliipolis  was  pointed  out  to  Philip,  as  rendering  the  town 
impreu'nahle,  he  observed,  they  were  not  so  high  but  money 
could  be  thrown  over  them.  And  (,'icero,  in  his  sec'ind  oration 
against  Verres,  Nihil  est  tani  sanctum  quod  ncm  violari,  nihil 
fam  Miunituni  quod  non  expugnari.  pecunia  pnssit.  'J'he  nmtto 
npon  the  cannon  of  the  king  of  France  was,  Ratio  ultima  regum 


J2e  IIDDIBRAS.  (Part  m 

One  clurcli  and  state  will  not  suffice 

T'  exposft  to  sale  ;*  besides  tiie  wagest 

Of  storing  plagues  to  after  ages. 

Nor  is  our  money  less  our  own, 

Than  'twas  before  we  laid  it  down  :  13-JO 

For  'twill  return,  and. turn  t' account, 

If  we  are  brouglit  in  play  upon  't. 

Or  but  by  casting  knaves,  get  in, 

What  pow'r  can  hinder  us  to  win  ? 

We  know  the  arts  we  us'd  before,  13i5 

In  peace  and  war,  and  something  mor*^ 

And  by  th'  unfortunate  events. 

Can  mend  our  next  experiments  : 

For  when  we  're  taken  into  trust. 

How  easy  are  the  wisest  chous'd,  .35" 

Who  see  but  th'  outsides  of  our  feats, 

And  not  their  secret  springs  and  weights  ; 

And  while  they  're  busy,  at  their  ease, 

Can  carry  what  designs  we  please  ? 

How  easy  is  't  to  serve  for  agents,  1355 

To  prosecute  our  old  engagements  ? 

To  keep  the  good  old  cause  on  foot. 

And  present  pow'r  from  taking  root ;] 

Inflame  them  both  with  false  alarms 

Of  plots,  and  i)urties  taking  arms  ;  13C0 

To  keep  the  nation's  wounds  too  wide 

From  healing  up  of  side  to  side  ; 


*  There  is  a  list  of  above  a  hundred  of  the  principal  actors  in 
this  rehellion,  iiiiione  whiiin  the  plunder  of  tlie  church,  crown, 
and  kingdom  was  divided ;  to  some  five,  ten,  or  twenty  thousand 
pounds  ;  to  others,  lands  and  oflices  of  in  iny  hundreds  or  thou- 
sands a  year.  At  the  end  ot  the  list,  the  author  says,  it  was  com- 
puted that  they  had  shared  among  themselves  near  twenty  in'.l- 
iions. 

t  'I'hey  allowed,  by  their  own  order,  four  pounds  a  week  to 
each  Hicmber:  each  nieiiiber  of  the  .issend)ly  of  divines  was  al- 
lowed four  shillings  a  day.  Are  the  members  of  the  National 
Assembly  in  France  better  p  lid  ?  (17!):i.)  [Whether  they  were 
better  pi'd  or  not  they  certainly  succeeded  in  st'rin<r  plagues  to 
a/teran-cs,  as  well  as  partaking  larfjely  of  them  Inenistlve-!.  Lib- 
erty and  philanthropy  in  their  mouths, — tyranny  and  blood  in 
their  deeds, — they  at  ia<t  naturally  succumbed  to  a  military  des- 
pot, who  in  his  turn  fell  under  the  avenjjing  swords  of  injured 
Europe.  .\  Restoration  follows,  and  now  a  new  Revolution, 
beins;  the  Fir>t  of  the  Second  Series. — Cuunnen(  va  le  iiionde  I 
Tout  a  la  ronde.J 

}  General  .Monk  and  his  i)arty,  or  the  committee  of  safety:  for 
we -oust  undirstmo  the  scene  to  be  laid  .it  the  time  when  Monk 
bore  the  sway,  or,  as  will  appear  by-ariil-liy,  at  the  rr)astiiic  of 
the  rut!ip<.  when  Monk  and  the  city  of  hondou  united  ai;alust 
tbo  ruuip  parliament. 


r*NTo  II.]  flUDIBRAS  427 

Profess  tiie  pa!;sionatV:t  concerns 

For  bolli  their  interests  by  turns, 

The  only  way  t'  improve  our  own,  1363 

By  (icahn^  faithfully  with  none  ; 

As  bowls  run  true,  by  bcinj  tiiado 

On  |)uri)nse  f.ilse,  and  to  be  sway'd, 

For  if  wo  should  be  true  to  either, 

'Twould  turn  us  out  of  both  together  ;  1370 

And  therefore  have  no  other  means 

To  stand  upon  our  own  defence, 

But  keeping  up  our  ancient  party 

In  vigour,  confident  and  hearty  : 

To  reconcile  our  late  dissenters,  1375 

Our  brethren,  though  by  other  venters  ; 

Unite  them,  and  their  ditiereut  maggots. 

As  long  and  short  sticks  are  in  faggots,* 

And  make  them  join  again  as  close, 

As  when  they  first  began  t'  espouse  ;  1380 

Erect  them  into  separate 

New  Jewish  tribes  in  church  and  state  ;t 

To  join  in  marriage  and  commerce, t 

And  only  'moug  themselves  converse, 

And  all  that  are  not  of  their  mind,  1385 

Make  enemies  to  all  mankind  :§ 

Take  all  religions  in,  and  stickle 

From  conclave  down  to  conventicle  ;|1 

Agreeing  still  or  disagreeing, 

According  to  the  light  in  being,  1390 

Sometimes  for  liberty  of  conscience, 

And  sj)iritual  misrule  in  one  sense  ; 

But  in  another  quite  contrar}-, 

As  dispenstttions  chance  to  vary  ; 

And  sland  for,  as  the  times  will  bear  it,  1395 

All  contradictions  of  the  spirit : 


*  Vis  unila  forlinr.  See  jlilsop's  Fahles,  171,  ed.  0.\on.  and 
Phrarch  ile  Ciirruliuito,  >i.  p.  511.  Swill  told  this  table  iifter  the 
ancients,  with  excjiiisite  luinior,  tu  reconcile  ijneen  Ann's  minis- 
ters. 

t  Make  them  distinct  in  their  o|)ininns  and  interests,  like  the 
Jews,  who  were  not  allowed  to  inlerinarry  or  converse  with  the 
nations  around  tliein. 

i  The  accent  is  here  laid  upon  the  last  syllable  of  commerce, 
as  in  Waller,  p. .')!),  small  edition  hy  Fenton  : 

Or  what  commerce  can  men  w-ith  monsters  find. 

$Tlie  <idium  hummi  fieneris  of  Tacitus,  anil  the  non  monstra 
re  vlas  cadein  nisi  sacra  culenli  of  me  same  author,  are  here  al 
.Hded  to. 

II  That  is,  papists  as  well  as  non-conformists 


i28  IIUDIBRAS  [Part  la 

Protect  their  emissaries,*  empower'd 

To  preach  sedition,  and  the  word  ; 

And  wliea  they  're  hainpcr'd  by  the  iaws, 

Release  the  iab'rers  for  the  cause,  140ft 

And  turn  the  persecution  back 

On  those  that  made  the  first  attack, 

To  keep  them  eiiually  in  awe 

From  brcakinjj,  or  maintaining  law  : 

And  when  they  have  their  fits  too  soon,  1405 

Before  the  full-tides  of  the  moon, 

Put  ofF  tiieir  zeal  t'  a  fitter  season, 

For  sowing  faction  in  and  treason  ; 

And  keep  them  hooded,  and  liieir  churches. 

Like  hawks,  from  baiting  on  their  perches  ;1  1410 

That  wlien  the  blessed  lime  sliall  come 

Of  quitting  Babylon  and  Rome, 

They  may  be  ready  to  restore 

Their  own  fifth  monarchy  once  more.t 

Mean-while  be  better  arm'd  to  fence  1415 

Against  revolts  of  providence, § 

By  watching  narrowly,  and  snapping 

All  blind  sides  of  if,  as  they  happen  : 

For  if  success  could  make  us  saints, 

Our  ruin  turn"d  us  miscreants  ;||  1420 

A  scandal  that  would  fall  too  hard 

Upon  a  few,  and  unprepar'd. 

These  are  the  courses  we  must  run. 

Spite  of  our  hearts,  or  be  undone. 

And  not  to  stand  on  terms  and  freaks,  1425 

Before  we  have  secur'd  our  necks. 

But  do  our  work  as  out  of  sight. 

As  stai-s  by  day,  ai.d  suns  by  niglit ; 

All  licence  of  the  people  own. 

In  opposition  to  the  crown  ;  1430 

And  lor  the  crown  as  fiercely  side, 

The  head  and  body  to  divide. 

*  Read,  Protect  their  emissaires,  as  the  French  in  tlirce  sylla- 
Lies,  otherwise  tliere  is  a  syllaljle  too  much  in  the  verse. 

t  From  leing  too  forward,  or  ready  to  lake  fli(;lit. 

i  In  addition  to  the  four  great  inonarcliies  wliich  have  ap 
pcared  in  the  world,  soine  of  the  enthusiasts  thought  th:it 
C.'Jirist  was  to  rei|^n  temporally  upon  earth,  and  to  establish  a 
tilth  monarchy. 

^  The  sectaries  of  those  days  talked  more  familiarly  to  Al 
mi(.'hty  God.  than  they  dared  to  do  to  a  sui)erior  olBcer :  they 
remonstrated  with  him.  made  him  the  author  of  all  their  wicked 
machinations,  and,  if  their  projects  tailed,  they  said  that  Pro\i 
jence  had  revolted  from  them. 

II  Sui'pose  we  read,  Tiirns  us  niiscreunts. 


<;*>rro  II  J  IIUDIBRAS  420 

Tlic  ciui  of  all  wo  first  dcsigu'd, 

And  all  that  yet  remains  behind, 

Be  sure  to  spaie  no  public  rapine,  1433 

Oil  all  cnicrgcncies  that  liai)|)en  ; 

For  'tis  as  easj-  to  supplant 

Authority,  as  men  in  want  ; 

As  some  of  us,  in  trusts,  have  made 

The  one  hand  witii  tiie  other  trade  ;  U40 

CJain'd  vastly  by  their  joint  endeavour, 

Tlie  rijrht  a  thief,  the  left  receiver  ; 

And  wiiat  the  one,  by  tricks,  forestall'd, 

The  other,  by  as  sly,  retail'd. 

For  gain  has  wonderful  effects  1445 

T'  improve  the  factory  of  sects  ; 

The  rule  of  faith  in  all  professions. 

And  great  Diana  of  tli'  Ephesians  ; 

Whence  turning  of  religion's  made 

The  means  to  turn  and  wind  a  trade.  1450 

And  though  some  change  it  for  the  worse, 

They  put  themselves  into  a  course, 

And  draw  in  store  of  customei-s, 

To  thrive  the  better  in  commerce: 

For  all  religions  flock  together,  1455 

Like  tame  and  wild  fowl  of  a  feather: 

To  nab  the  itches  of  their  sects, 

As  jades  do  one  another's  necks. 

Hence  'tis  hypocrisj'  as  well 

Will  serve  t'  improve  a  church,  as  zeal ;  1460 

As  persecution  or  promotion. 

Do  equallj'  advance  devotion. 

Let  bus'ness,  like  ill  watches,  go 

Sometime  too  fast,  sometime  too  slow  ; 

For  things  in  order  are  put  out  14C3 

So  easy,  ea.se  ilseif  will  do  't : 

But  when  the  feat's  dcsign'd  and  meant, 

What  miracle  can  bar  th'  event  ? 

For  'tis  more  easy  to  betray, 

Than  ruin  any  other  way.  1179 

All  possible  occasions  start. 

The  weightiest  matters  to  divert ; 

Obstruct,  perplex,  distract,  entangle, 

And  lay  perpetual  trains,  to  wrangle.* 


*  Exacdy  the  advice  pivcn  in  Arisiophanes  to  the  sausage- 
maker  turneil  (lolitician.  Equiles,  v.  'ilt.  Many  political  charac- 
ters, in  the  time  of  Oliver,  stein  to  have  fallowed  it.  Si  quid  in- 
ter coniitia  disceplandum,  qux'sitis  diverlicuiis,  uut  injeclis  intet 


130  IIUDIBRAS  [Paut  in. 

But  in  aflairs  of  less  import,  1475 

Tliat  neiliier  do  us  good  nor  liurl, 

And  they  receive  as  liltle  by, 

Out-fawn  as  mucl),  and  out  comply, 

And  seem  as  scrupulously  just, 

To  bait  our  books  for  greater  trust.  148C 

But  still  be  careful  to  cry  down 

All  public  actions,  tho"  our  own  ; 

The  least  miscarriage  aggravate, 

And  charge  it  all  upon  tiie  state : 

Express  tlie  horrid'st  detestation,  1485 

And  pity  the  distracted  nation  ; 

Tel!  stories  scandalous  and  false, 

r  th'  proper  language  of  cabals,* 

Wliere  all  a  subtle  statesman  says, 

Is  half  in  words,  and  half  in  face  ;  N90 

As  Spaniards  talk  in  dialogues 

Of  heads  and  shoulders,  nods  and  shrugs  : 

Entrust  it  under  solemn  vows 

Of  mum,  and  silence,  and  the  rose,t 

To  be  retail'd  again  in  whisi)ers.  1495 

For  th'  easy  credulous  to  disperse. 

Thus  far  the  statesman — When  a  shout. 
Heard  at  a  distance,  put  him  out ; 
And  strait  another,  all  aghast, 

Rush'd  in  with  equal  fear  and  haste,  1500 

Who  star'd  about,  as  pale  as  death, 
And,  for  a  while,  as  out  of  breath. 
Till,  having  gathered  up  his  wits, 

»;stus  disputandi  s^cnipulis,  lit  rei  determiniilio  in  aliud  tenipus 
ilestinereiur  procunilmnt.  I)e  rejiiis  roncess.onilius  usque  ad 
iliem  postpruin  acriter  (iisput;>turii  est;  diuii  iniere.i  scrupulos 
iiecuint,  disseminaiit  rixas,  sciiidunt  in  tliversnm  paries,  longis 
que  oratiunculi-i  leiiipns  terunt  olliiarcliitlii  et  denmcrauci. 

*  Mr.  Butler  lias  sehioMi  hcen  so  inattentive  lo  rhyme,  as  in 
this  and  tlie  lolliiwing  coii|)let. 

t  VVIien  any  thing  was  saiil  in  cnnfidence,  the  sperikor  in  con- 
clusion generally  used  the  word  Miiiiii.  or  silence.  The  rose  was 
considered  liy  llie  ancients  as  an  enililem  of  silence,  t'nini  its  be- 
inj;  dedicated  hy  Cupid  to  Harpticr  lies,  the  god  of  silence,  to  en- 
(!;\s;e  him  to  conceal  the  actions  of  his  mother,  Venus.  Whence, 
in  rooms  designed  for  convivial  meetinss,  it  was  customary  ic 
place  a  rose  aliove  the  table,  to  signify  that  any  thing  there  spo- 
ken ought  never  to  be  divulged.    The  epigram  says: 

Est  rosa  flos  Veneris,  cujus  quo  facta  laterent, 

Harpocrati,  matris  dona,  dicavit  amor. 

Inde  rosam  niensis  ho^pes  suspendit  amicis, 

Conviva  ut  sub  ea  dicta  tacenda  sciat. 

A  rose  was  IriMiuently  figured  on  the  ceiling  of  rooms,  both  ii 
li:ng!aDd  and  Germany 


Canto  ii.]  IIUDIBRAS.  431 

He  thus  beg;ui  his  tale  by  fits  :* 

That  l)caslly  rabble — that  came  down  1503 

From  all  tlic  garrets — iu  the  town, 
And  stalls,  and  shop-boards — in  vast  swarms. 
With  new-chalk'd  bills — and  rusty  arms, 
To  cry  the  cause — up,  heretofore, 
And  bawl  the  bishops — out  of  door  ;  1510 

Are  now  drawn  up — in  greater  shoals, 
To  roast — and  broil  us  on  the  coals. 
And  all  the  grandees — ol'  our  members 
Are  carbonading — on  the  embers  ; 
Knights,  citizens,  and  burgesses —  1515 

Held  forth  by  rumps — of  p;gs  and  geese, 
That  serve  for  characters — and  badges 
To  represent  their  j)ersonuge.s. 
Each  bonfire  is  a  funeral  pile. 

In  which  they  roast,  and  scorch,  and  broil,  1520 

And  ev'ry  representative 
Have  vow'd  to  roast — and  broil  alive : 
And  'tis  a  miracle  we  are  not 
Already  sacritic'd  incarnate  ; 

For  while  we  wrangle  here,  and  jar,  1525 

W  are  grilly'd  all  at  Temple-bur  ; 
Some,  on  the  sign-post  of  an  ale-house, 
Hang  in  effigy,  on  the  gallows,t 
Made  up  of  rags  to  personate 

Respective  officers  of  state  ;  1530 

That,  henceforth,  they  may  stand  reputed, 
Proscrib'd  in  law,  and  executed, 
And,  while  the  work  is  currying  on. 
Be  ready  listed  under  Dun, 

That  worthy  patriot,  once  the  bellows,  1535 

And  tinder-box  of  all  his  fellows  ;J; 


*  By  this  speaker  is  reprcsenled  Sir  INIartin  Noel,  who,  whil. 
the  cal):il  was  !-itliii!;.  Iirouj;!  I  news  that  llie  rump  parliament 
was  dismissed,  tlie  sccliuled  inernliers  brou^iht  into  tlie  house, 
and  that  the  iiioh  of  London  approved  of  the  measure.  Mr. 
Butler  tells  this  tale  for  Sir  Manin  with  wonderful  hiiirior. 

t  For,  or  instead  of.  a  gallows,  would,  perhajis,  lie  a  more  cor 
rect  reading: :  it  is  lietter  to  hang  the  etfigy  on  the  sign-post,  than 
the  ori|iinal  on  the  lamp-iron. 

I  Dun  WIS  common  haiigmin  at  that  time,  and  succeeding 
executioners  went  by  liis  name,  till  eclipsed  by  squire  Ketch. 
But  the  ihuMcter  liere  deluicated  was  certainly  intended  for  Sir 
Arthur  Ha/.ler  ■:,  knight  of  the  shire,  in  the  long  parliament,  for 
the  county  of  Leicester,  and  one  of  the  five  members  of  the 
bouse  of  connnons  ijiipeached  by  the  king  in  the  beginning  o( 
thai  parliament.  He  brought  in  the  bill  of  attainder  against  the 
eail  of  Stratford,  and  the  bill  against  c;nscopacy ;  though  tho 


J32  HLIDIBRAS.  TPiRT  lo. 

Tlie  activ'st  member  of  tlie  five, 

As  well  as  the  most  primitive  ; 

\\'ho,  for  liis  fuitlifiil  service  then, 

Is  chosen  for  a  fifth  agen :  15*0 

For  since  tlie  state  has  made  a  quint 

Of  generals,  he's  listed  in"t.* 

This  worthy,  as  the  v/orld  will  say, 

Is  paid  in  specie,  his  own  way  ; 

For,  moulded  to  the  life,  in  clouts,  1545 

They  've  i)ick'd  from  dunghills  hereabouts. 


latter  was  delivered  by  Sir  Edward  Deerinp  at  his  prncnrement. 
He  also  broiiglil  in  llie  hill  fDrtlie  mililia.  Lord  Clarendon  says, 
he  was  used  like  the  d<ive  out  of  the  ark,  to  try  what  footing  the 
party  could  have  fur  their  designs.  He  was  a  hot-heailed  re- 
publican, and  made  ereat  disturbances  afterwards  in  the  parlia 
inent  of  Oliver  and  Richard.  He  was  always  «ne  of  the  rump  , 
and  a  little  before  this  lime,  when  the  coinniittee  of  safety  had 
been  set  up,  and  the  rump  excluded,  he  had  seized  Portsmouth 
for  their  use.  It  is  probable  that  he  uii-ihtcall  Sir  ,'\rihHr  by  the 
hansniau's  name,  either  fur  some  barbarous  execution  which  he 
had  caused  to  be  done  in  a  military  way,  or  for  his  forwardness 
and  zeal  in  parliiiment  in  brinfiing  the  royalists  toe.xecution.anil 
the  king  himself:  for  I  find  three  addresses,  which  we  may  well 
suppose  were  promoted  by  him  ;  one  from  the  garrisons  of  New 
castle  and  Tinmouih,  where  Hazlerig  w;is  governor;  another 
from  the  mayor  and  aldermen  of  . Newcastle ;  and  a  lliird  from 
the  county  of  Leicester,  which  Hazlerig  represented;  all  of 
them  for  the  trial  of  the  king.  Diin,  however,  is  sometimes  put 
for  don  or  knight,  as  at  line  110  of  the  next  canto.  Before 
Monk's  intentions  were  known,  Hazlerig,  in  a  conversation  with 
him,  said,  "I  see  which  way  things  are  going;  monarchy  will 
"be  restored;  and  then  I  know  what  wi'.l  become  of  nie." 
"Pugh,"  replied  .Monk,  "1  will  secure  you  for  two-pence."  In 
no  long  lime  after,  when  the  secret  was  out,  Hazlerig  sent  Monk 
a  letter,  with  twopence  enclosed.  This  incident  is  mentioned 
in  the  third  volume  of  Lord  Clarendon's  State  I'a|)ers,  printed  at 
Oxfor<l.  Sir  -Arthur  enlisted  many  soldiers,  and  had  a  regiment 
called  his  Lobsters. 

Without  pretending  that  Uullcr  liad  any  view  in  tliis  lo  the 
ancients,  it  reminds  me  of  the  magnificent  titles  given  to  suc- 
cessful genen-.ls.  Fabius,  I  think,  was  called  the  shieUI,  Mar- 
cellus  the  sword  of  Rome,  and  Sripio  the  thunderbolt  of  war. 
Swift  excelled  in  this  species  of  humor: 

Would  yo;i  describe  Turenne  or  Trump, 
Tliink  of  a  bucket  or  a  pump. 

*  Quint,  that  is,  a  quorum  of  five.  After  the  death  of  Crom- 
well, and  the  deposition  of  K..charil,  when  the  rump  p;irliament 
was  restored,  lest  any  commander-in-chief  shsmld  again  jsurp 
the  sovereignty,  they  resolved  that  their  speaker  should  hold 
the  offices  both  of  general  and  admiral,  which  for  a  time  he  did. 
The  government  of  the  army  was  then  put  into  the  hands  of 
Beven  commissioners,  of  whom  Hazlerig  was  one.  .And  again 
February  II,  lf).V.),  Monk,  Hazlerig,  Walton,  Morley,  and  Alured, 
were  appointed  commissioners  to  govern  the  army.  Whitelock'i 
Jirords  are,  "  that  Hazlerig  did  drive  on  furiously." 


tUNTo  ii.J  IIUDIBRAS  433 

He's  mounted  on  a  hazel  bavin* 

A  cro()])\l  tnuliiriianl  baker  ]^avo  'em  ;+ 

And  to  llio  largest  bontire  ridinij, 

They  'vo  roasted  Cook  already,  and  Prido  in ;(     1550 

On  whom,  in  equipage  and  state, 

His  scare-crow  fellow-mernbcrs  wait, 

And  march  in  order,  two  and  two. 

As  at  thanksgivings  th'  us'd  to  do  ; 

Each  in  a  tattcr'd  talisman,  1553 

Like  vermin  in  effigy  slain. 

But,  what's  more  dreadful  than  the  rest, 
Those  rumps  are  but  the  tail  o'  th'  beast, 
Set  up  by  popish  engineers, 

As  by  tlie  crackers  plainly  appears  ;  1560 

For  none  but  Jesuits  have  a  mission 
To  preach  the  faith  with  airnnunition, 
And  propagate  the  church  with  powder ; 
Their  founder  was  a  blown-up  soldier.§ 
Tiiose  spiritual  pioneers  o'  th'  whore's,  1505 

That  have  the  charge  of  all  her  stores  ; 
Since  first  they  fail'd  in  their  designs,|j 
To  take  in  heav'n  by  springing  mines, 
And,  with  unanswerable  barrels  V 

Of  gunpowder,  dispute  their  quarrels,  '  1570 

Now  take  a  course  more  practicable. 
By  laying  trains  to  fire  iiie  rabble. 
And  blow  us  up,  in  th'  open  streets. 


*  An  hazel  fapnt,  such  as  bakers  heat  their  ovens  with. 

t  Pillory,  and  crnppinf;  the  ears,  was  a  punishment  inflicted 
on  bakers  who  made  short  wei(;ht,  or  bad  bread.  The  sectaries 
railed  all  those  malignants  who  were  not  of  their  party. 

I  Cook  was  solicitor  at  the  kind's  trial ;  he  drew  up  a  charge 
against  him  ;  and  was  ready  with  a  formal  plea,  in  case  the 
king  had  submitted  to  the  jurisdiction  of  the  court.  The  plea 
was  printed,  and  answered  by  Butler,  in  his  Remains,  (not  the 
genuine  ones,  vol.  i.  p.  IIG.)  Lord  Clarendon  allows  him  to 
have  been  a  man  of  aliililies.  His  defence  at  his  trial  was  bold 
and  manly,  though  not  discreet  or  judicious.  Pride  has  been 
spoken  of  before.  It  was  he  who  garbled  the  house  of  com- 
mons, causing  41  members  to  be  seized  and  confined,  and  deny- 
ing entrance  to  UiO  more  ;  several  others  being  terrified  declined 
sitting,  and  left  the  house  to  about  150,  who  passed  the  vote  for 
.ne  trial  of  the  king.  This  expulsion  was  called  Colonel  Pride's 
Purge,  and  was  the  beginning  of  the  rump  parliament. 

§  Ignatius  Loyola,  founder  of  the  .lesuits,  was  a  Spanish  gen- 
tleman, and  bred  a  soldier:  wounded  at  the  siege  of  Pamj)cluna 
by  the  French  in  1521. 

II  Alluiling  to  the  gunpowder-plot,  in  the  reign  of  James  I., 
supposed  to  have  been  ronducted  by  the  Jesuits,  and  for  whicli 
Garnet  and  Oldcorn  suffi^rcd. 


43-J  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  m 

Dis^iis'd  in  rumps,  like  sambenites,* 

More  like  to  ruin  and  confound,  ISTS 

Than  all  their  doctrines  iindertrronnd. 

Nor  have  they  chosen  rumps  amiss, t 

For  symbols  of  state-mysteries  ; 

Tho'  some  suppose,  'twas  but  to  shew 

How  much  they  scorn'd  the  saints,  the  few,         1580 

Who,  'cause  they  're  wasted  to  the  stumps, 

Are  represented  best  by  rumps.t 

But  Jesuits  have  deeper  reaches 

In  all  their  politic  far-fetches  ; 

And  from  the  Coptic  priest,  Kircherus,  1585 

Found  out  this  mystic  way  to  jeer  us  :§ 

For,  as  the  Egyptians  us'd  by  bees 

T'  express  their  ancient  Ptolemics,|| 

And  by  their  stinjTs,  the  swords  they  wore. 

Held  forth  authority  and  pow'r ;  1590 

Because  these  subtle  animals 

Bear  all  their  int'resls  in  their  tails ; 

And  when  they  're  once  impair'd  in  that, 


*  Persons  wearing  the  samlienito:  a  straight  yellow  coat 
without  sleeves,  having  the  picture  of  the  devil  painted  upon 
It  in  black,  wherein  the  oflicers  of  the  inquisition  disguise  and 
expose  heretics  alter  their  cundemnatiim. 

f  The  several  pleasant  arguments  wliich  follow,  nny  be  seen 
in  a  prose  tract  of  the  author's,  culled  a  speech  made  at  the 
Rota.     Reiniins,  vol.  i.  pige  '.iH). 

t  Lord  Clareiidon  says,  they  were  called  tho  rump  parlia- 
ment, as  being  the  fig  end  of  a  carcass  long  since  e.vpired  : 
tliey  were  reduced  to  less  than  a  tenth  part  of  their  original 
niiiiiher. 

ij  'i'lie  Christians  in  Egypt  are  called  Coptics,  from  a  city  in  or 
near  which  many  of  them  dwelt.  [Ur.  Nash  settles  the  ques- 
tion of  Coptic  very  easily;  but  if  the  reader  has  any  wish  to 
puzzle  his  brains  in  a  re-earch  ii.pon  this  point,  he  has  only  to 
turn  to  any  work  where  ancient  Egypt  is  treated  of,  and  he  will 
immediately  got  into  an  etyiiiolugi'cal  chase  witli  Cupti,  Gijitu, 
Gibbetu,  yEgopthus,  and  King  Cojite.  that  will  assure  him  good 
sport  and  carry  him  fiir  beyond  the  Doctor's  city;  as  may  be 
seen  from  a  glance  at  Todd's  definition, — "  Coptic/c,  from  Cop- 
"tus,  converted,  by  changing  K  inloG,  into  the  (ir.  AiyuirTot:." 
Athanasius  Kircher,  the  Jesuit,  wrote  many  books  on  the  an- 
tiquities of  Egypt,  one  of  them  is  railed  CEiJipus  Egypti.icus  ; 
'or  which  he  says  he  studied  the  Egyjdian  mysteries  twenty 
years. 

II  As  the  Eg^-ptians  anciently  represented  tlieir  kings  "inder 
the  endilem  of  a  bee,  which  has  the  power  of  dispensing  bene- 
fits and  inflicting  punishments  by  its  honey  and  its  sting,  though 
the  poet  attends  principally  to  llic  energy  which  it  bears  in  its 
lull;  so  the  citizens  cf  L<indirn  signilic mily  represented  thii 
fa^-ciid  of  a  parliament  by  the  rumps,  or  tail-parts,  of  sheep  and 
otnei  animals:  sniuc  editions  road  antiQuc  I'loleniies. 


Canto  ii.]  HUDIBRAS.  435 

Are  banish'd  their  well-ordor'd  state  : 

They  thought  all  governments  were  best  1593 

By  hieroglyphic  rumps  exprest. 

For,  as  in  bodies  natural, 

The  rump's  the  fundament  of  all ; 

So,  in  a  commonwealth  or  realm, 

The  government  is  called  the  helm  ;  1000 

With  which,  like  vessels  under  sail. 

They're  turn'd  and  winded  by  the  tail. 

The  tail,  which  birds  and  fishes  steer. 

Their  courses  with,  thro'  sea  and  air ; 

To  whom  the  rudder  of  the  rump  is  1005 

The  same  thing  with  the  stern  and  compass, 

This  shews,  how  perfectly  the  rump 

And  commonwealth  in  nature  jump. 

For  as  a  fly  that  goes  to  bed, 

Rests  with  his  tail  above  his  head,*  lUlO 

So,  in  this  mongrel  state  of  ours. 

The  rabble  are  the  supremo  powers. 

That  hors'd  us  on  their  backs,  to  show  us 

A  jadish  trick  at  last,  and  throw  us. 

The  learned  rabbins  of  the  jews  1615 

Write,  there's  a  bone,  which  they  call  luez,t 

*  Several  sorts  of  flies,  having  their  fore  legs  shorter  than 
their  hind  logs,  are  generally  seen  at  rest  with  their  hea<ls 
downward. 

t  Eben  Ezra,  and  Manasseh  Ben  Israel,  taught,  that  there  is 
a  bone  in  the  rump  'd'  a  man  of  the  size  and  shape  of  half  a 
pea;  from  which,  as  from  an  incorruptible  seed,  Ihe  whole  man 
would  be  perfectly  formed  at  the  resurrection.  Remains,  vol.  i. 
p.  320.  The  rabbins  found  their  wild  conjectures  on  (Jenesis,  c. 
xlviii.  V.  2  and  3,  where  I>uz  seems  to  mean  the  name  of  a 
place,  not  of  a  bone.  "And  Jacob  said  unto  Joseph,  God  Al- 
"  mighty  appeared  unto  me  at  Luz,  in  the  land  of  Canaan,  am' 
'  blessed  me,  and  said,  Hchold  I  will  make  thee  fruitful,  ana 
"  multiply  thee,  and  I  will  make  thee  a  multilude  of  people, 
"  and  will  give  this  land  to  thy  seed  after  thee  for  an  everlasting 
"  Possession. "  See  more,  Anrij)f)a  de  occulta  philosophia,  1.  i. 
c.  30.  Bu,\torf,  in  his  Chaldean  Dictionary,  under  the  word  Luz, 
says,  it  is  the  name  of  a  human  bone,  which  the  Jews  look 
upon  as  incorruptible.  In  a  book  called  Breshith  Raliboth,  sect 
28,  it  is  said,  that  Adrian  reducing  the  bones  to  powder,  askeii 
the  rabbin  Jehoshuan;;  (Jesuah  the  son  of  Hanniah)  how  God 
would  raise  man  at  the  day  of  judgment  1  from  the  liUZ,  replied 
the  rabbin :  how  do  you  know  it?  says  .'\drian  :  bring  me  one 
and  you  shall  see,  says  Jehoshuang ;  one  was  produced,  and  al 
methods,  by  fire,  pounding,  &c.  tried,  but  in  vain.  (I'^encl' 
note.)  In  the  General  Dictionary,  art.  Barchochebas,  (or,  thi 
oon  of  the  star.)  we  read,  that  the  Jewish  authors  suppose  thai 
Hadrian  was  in  person  in  the  war  against  the  Jews,  and  that  he 
besieged  and  took  the  city  of  Bitter,  and  that  he  then  had  this 
conference  with  the  rabbi.  See  Manasse  Ben-Israel  de  Kt'sn»- 
fectione.  lib.  ii.  cap.  1.5. 

37 


J3t>  HUDIBRAS.  [I'art  hi 

r  til'  rump  of  man,  of  such  a  virtue, 

No  force  iu  nature  can  do  liurt  to  : 

And  tlierefore,  at  the  last  great  day. 

All  th'  other  members  shall,  they  say,  K>2t 

Spring  out  of  this,  as  from  a  seed 

All  sorts  of  vcgetals  proceed  ; 

From  whence  the  learned  sons  of  art, 

Os  sacrum  justly  stile  that  part:* 

Then  what  can  better  represent,  ir)25 

Than  this  rump  bone,  the  parliament? 

That  after  sev'ral  rude  ejections. 

And  as  prodigious  resurrections, 

AVith  new  reversions  of  nine. lives, 

Starts  up,  and,  like  a  cat,  revives  ?t  1G30 

But  now  alas  !  they  're  all  expird, 

And  th'  house,  as  well  as  members,  fir'<l ; 


*  The  lowest  of  the  vertebrje,  or  rather  the  hone  below  the 
vertebrte,  is  so  called  ;  not  for  the  reason  wittily  assigned  by 
our  poet,  but,  as  Bartholine  says,  because  it  is  much  bigger  than 
any  of  the  vertebra;, — vel  quod  partibus  ob.sctBnis,  naturik  ipsa 
iiccultatis,  subjacet ;  sacrum  enim  execrabile  ;  as  in  Virgil : 

Auri  sacra  fames. 

t  The  rump,  properly  so  called,  began  at  Colonel  Pride's  Purge 
above-mentioned,  a  little  before  the  king's  death  ;  and  had  the 
supreme  authority  about  five  years.  Cromwell,  Lambert,  Harri 
son,  &c.,  turned  out  the  rump,  April  23,  16.53,  and  soon  afterward 
Cromwell  usurped  the  administration,  and  held  it  almost  five 
years  more.  After  Cromwell's  death,  and  the  de|K)sition  of  his 
son  Richard,  the  rump  parliament  was  restored  by  Lambert  and 
other  oihcers  of  the  army,  the  excluded  members  not  being  per- 
mitted to  sit.  They  began  their  meeting  May  7,  1G59,  in  number 
about  t'orty-two.  On  some  animosities  and  quarrels  between 
them  and  the  army,  they  were  prevented  again  from  sitting,  by 
Lambert  and  the  officers,  October  13,  in  the  same  year.  After 
this,  the  officers  chose  a  committee  of  safety  o/  twenty-three 
persons.  These  administered  the  affairs  of  government  till 
December  20,  when,  finding  themselves  generally  hated  and 
slighted,  and  wanting  money  to  pay  the  soldiers,  Fleetwood  and 
the  rest  of  them  desired  the  rump  to  return  to  the  exercise  of 
their  trust.  At  length,  by  means  of  General  Monk,  about  eighty 
of  the  old  secluded  members  resumed  their  places  in  the  house, 
npon  which  most  of  the  rumpers  quitted  it.  Mr.  Butler,  in  his 
Genuine  Remains,  vol.  i.  p.  320,  says,  "  Nothing  can  bear  a  nearer 
"resemblance  to  the  luz,  or  rump-bone  of  the  ancient  rabbins, 
"  than  the  present  parliament,  that  has  been  so  many  years 
"  dead,  and  rotten  under  ground,  to  any  man's  thinking,  that  the 
"  ghosts  of  some  of  the  members  thereof  have  transmigrated 
"into  other  parliaments,  and  some  into  those  parts  from  whence 
"  there  is  no  redemption,  should  nevertheless,  at  two  several  and 
"  resi)ective  resurrections  start  up,  like  the  dragon's  teeth  that 
"  were  sown,  inU)  living,  natural,  and  carnal  members.  And, 
"hence  it  is,  I  suppose,  that  the  physicians  auU  aivaloinists  call 
"this  bone  os  sacrum,  or  the  holy  bone." 


Tanto  II.]  IIUDIBRAS.  437 

Consnnrtl  in  kennols  by  the  rout., 

Willi  which  tiiey  other  tires  put  out  ; 

Coiiileiiiird  t'  uiigovorning  distress,  1635 

Aud  paltry  private  wretclieduess  , 

Worse  thau  the  devil  to  i)rivatioii. 

Beyond  all  iiopes  of  restoration  ; 

And  parted,  like  the  body  and  soul, 

From  all  dominion  and  controul.*  IGM 

We  who  could  lately,  with  a  look, 

F^nact,  establish,  or  revoke. 

Whose  arbitrary  nods  frave  law. 

And  frowns  kept  multitudes  in  awe  ; 

Before  the  bluster  of  whose  huff,  1-J4S 

All  hats,  as  in  a  storm,  flew  oft": 

Ador'd  and  bow'd  to  by  the  great, 

Down  to  the  footman  aud  valet  ; 

Had  more  bent  knees  than  chapel  ii^ats. 

And  })rayers  than  the  crowns  of  hats,  1650 

Shall  now  be  scorn'd  as  wretchedly  : 

For  ruin's  just  as  low  as  high  ; 

Which  might  be  suff'er'd,  were  it  all 

The  horror  that  attends  our  fall : 

F'or  some  of  us  have  scores  more  large  i')55 

Thau  heads  and  quarters  can  discharge  ; 

And  others,  who,  by  restless  scraping, 

With  public  frauds,  and  private  rapine, 

Have  mighty  heaps  of  wealth  amass'd. 

Would  gladly  lay  down  all  at  last ;  iCfiO 

And,  to  be  but  undone,  entail 

Their  vessels  on  perpetual  jail, 

And  bless  the  devil  to  let  them  farms 

Of  forfeit  souls,  on  no  worse  terms. 

This  said,  a  near  and  louder  shout  1665 

Put  all  th'  assembly  to  the  rout, 
Who  now  began  t'  out-run  their  fear. 
As  horses  do,  from  those  they  bear  ; 
But  crowded  on  with  so  much  haste. 
Until  they  'd  block'd  the  passage  fast,  1070 

And  barricado'd  it  with  haunches 


*  Tliese  lines  paint  well  the  hunger  and  thirst  after  power  in 
ambitious  minds.  Aristotle's  Politic,  lib  3,  relates  the  complaint 
of  Jason,  that  when  he  ti:id  not  empire,  he  was  famished,  for 
he  knew  not  how  to  live  as  a  private  man.  Commentators 
think  Tiberius  alluded  to  this  sayinK  in  his  rebuke  lo  Agrippina, 
recorded  by  Tacitus,  An.  iv.  5i,  si.nd  Suetonius  in  Tiberio,  cap 
53.  "  What,  child,  because  you  do  not  govern  us  all,  do  yon 
"  think  yourself  wronged  1" 


438  HUDlbRAS.  [Part  ni 

Of  outward  men,  and  bulks  and  paunches, 

Tliat  with  their  shoulders  strove  to  squeeze, 

And  rather  save  a  crippled  piece 

Of  all  their  crush'd  and  broken  members,  1075 

Than  liave  them  grilly'd  on  the  embers  ; 

Still  pressing  on  with  heavy  packs 

Of  one  another  on  their  backs, 

The  van  guard  could  no  longer  bear 

The  charges  of  the  forlorn  rear,  1680 

But,  borne  down  headlong  by  the  rout, 

Were  trampled  sorely  under  foot ; 

Yet  nothing  prov'd  so  formidable. 

As  th'  horrid  cook'ry  of  the  rabble  : 

And  fear,  that  keeps  all  feelings  out,  IGfiS 

As  lesser  pains  are  by  the  gout, 

Reliev'd  'em  with  a  fresh  supply 

Of  rally'd  force,  enough  to  fly, 

And  beat  a  Tuscan  running  horse, 

Whose  jockey-rider  is  all  spurs.*  1C90 

*  Races  of  this  kind  are  practised  both  in  the  Corso  at  Rome 
and  at  Florence.  At  Rome,  in  the  carnival,  there  are  five  or 
eix  horses  trained  on  purpose  for  this  diversion.  They  are 
drawn  up  abreast  in  the  Piazza  del  Populo;  and  certain  balls, 
With  little  sharp  spikes,  are  liung  along  tlieir  rumps,  which  setv« 
to  npQi  tbem  on  its  soon  as  they  bejiio  to  run 


PART  I  IT.     CANTO  111. 

Tfir,   ARGUMENT. 

The  Kniglit  and  Squire's  prodigious  fliglit 
To  quit  th'  enchanted  bow'r  by  night. 
Ho  plods  to  turn  his  amorous  suit, 
T'  a  jilea  in  law,  and  prosecute: 
Repairs  to  counsel,  to  advise 
'Bout  manafring  tiio  enterprise  ; 
But  first  resolves  to  try  by  letter, 
And  oae  more  fair  address,  to  get  hcf. 


HUDIBKAS. 


CANTO  III.* 

Who  would  believe  what  strange  bugbears 

Mankind  creates  itself,  of  fears, 

That  spring,  liko  fern,  that  insect  weed, 

Equivocally,  without  seed,t 

And  have  no  possible  foundation, 

But  merely  in  th'  imagination? 

And  yet  can  do  more  dreadful  feats 

Than  hags,  with  all  their  imps  and  teats ; 

Make  more  bewitch  and  haunt  themselves, 

Than  all  their  nurseries  of  elves. 

For  fear  does  things  so  like  a  witch, 


*  The  Editor  was  much  inclined  to  follow  the  pl;in  of  the 
French  translator,  and  phice  this  before  the  (jreceding  canto; 
but  he  was  afraid  to  alter  the  form  which  Butler  himself  had 
made  choice  of,  especially  as  the  poet  h:i<l  liiken  the  pains  to  re- 
capitulate and  explain  the  foregoing  adventure,  and  bring  it  back 
to  the  reader's  memory. 

t  He  calls  it  an  insect  weed,  on  the  supposition  of  its  being 
bred,  as  many  insects  were  thought  to  be,  not  by  the  natural 
generation  of  their  own  kinds,  but  by  the  corruption  of  other 
substances,  or  the  spontaneous  fecundity  of  matter.  This  is  call 
cd  equivocal  generation,  in  contradistinction  to  unequivocal,  or 
that  which  is  brought  about  by  a  natural  succession  and  deriva- 
tion, from  an  egg.  a  seed,  or  a  root,  of  the  same  animal  or  vege- 
table. Plants  of  the  cryptogamia  class,  ferns,  mosses,  flags,  and 
funguses,  have  their  seeds  and  flowers  so  small  as  not  to  be 
discernible ;  so  that  the  ancients  held  them  to  be  without  seed. 
Pliny,  in  his  Natural  History,  says,  P'ilicis  duo  genera,  nee  flo- 
rem  habent,  nee  semen,  (lib.  xxvii.  c.  9.)  Mr.  Uurham  says,  the 
capsulas  are  hardly  a  quarter  so  big  as  a  grain  of  sand,  and  yet 
may  contain  an  hundred  seeds.  [Our  ancestors,  believing  that 
ihis  plant  produced  seed  that  was  invisible,  concluded  that  those 
who  possessed  the  secret  nf  wearing  it  about  them  would  be- 
come likewise  invisilile.    See  Henry  IV.  Part  I. 

Oads. We  steal  as  in  a  castle,  cocksure ;  we  have  the 

receipt  of  fim-sced,  we  walk  invisible. 

Cliamli.  Nay,  by  my  faith  ;  I  tliink,  you  are  more  beholden  to 
the  night ] 


Canto  hi.]  IIl'DIBUAS.  441 

'Tis  hard  t'  uiiriddlo  which  is  which  ; 

Sets  up  comimniities  of  senses, 

To  ciiop  and  change  inteilijrences  ; 

As  Rosicruciaii  virtuosi's  15 

Can  see  with  ears,  and  iiear  with  nosts  •* 

And  when  they  neither  see  nor  hear, 

Have  more  than  botii  snpply'd  by  fear, 

Tliat  makes  tiiem  in  the  dark  see  visions, 

And  hag  tiiemselves  with  apparitions,  20 

And,  wiien  their  eyes  discover  least, 

Discern  the  subtlest  objects  best ; 

Do  tilings  not  contrary  alone, 

To  th'  course  of  nature,  but  its  own,t 

The  courage  of  the  bravest  daunt,  M 

And  turn  poltroons  as  valiant : 

For  men  as  resolute  ap])ear 

With  too  much,  as  too  little  fear ; 

And,  when  they  're  out  of  hopes  of  flying. 

Will  run  away  from  death,  by  dying  ;t  30 

Or  turn  again  to  stand  it  out. 

And  those  they  fled,  like  lions,  rout. 

*  A  banter  on  the  marquis  of  Worcester's  scantlings  of  inven- 
tions. Edmund  Somerset.  m:irquis  of  Worcester,  pulilished,  in 
1CG3,  a  century  of  tlie  names  and  scantliniis  nf  such  inventions, 
as,  says  he,  "i  can  call  to  mind  to  have  tried  and  perfected." 
The  book  is  a  mere  table  of  contents,  a  li>t  only  of  an  hundred 
projects,  mostly  impossibilities;  tlii)u;;h  he  pretends  to  have  dis- 
covered the  art  of  performins  all  of  then).  IIiiw  uj  make  an  un 
sinkable  ship— how  to  sail  apiinst  wind  and  tide— how  to  fly — 
how  to  use  all  the  senses  indifferently  for  each  other,  to  talk  by 
colors,  and  to  read  by  the  taste — how  to  conve'je  by  tlie  jan- 
gling of  l)ells  out  of  tune,  &c.  &c.  For  an  account  of  the  mar- 
quis of  Worcester,  see  Walpole's  Catalogue  of  Noble  Authors  ; 
and  Collins's  Peerage,  article  I5eaufort,_where  is  that  most  ex 
traordinary  patent  which  Charles  the  First  granted  to  the  mar 
luis.  Panurge,  in  Rabelais,  says:  que  ses  lunettes  hii  faisoient 
entendre  beaucoup  plus  cl.iir.  Sliakspeare.  in  his  Midstuiuner 
Night's  Dream,  says,  "  He  is  gone  to  see  a  noise  that  he  heard  " 
"  This  is  an  art  to  teach  men  to  see  with  their  sars,  and  hear 
"  with  their  eyes  and  noses,  as  it  has  been  found  true  by  expe- 
"rience  and  demonstration,  if  we  may  believe  th-'  liistory  of  the 
"Spaniard,  that  could  see  words,  and  swallow  nuisic  by  holding 
"  the  peg  of  a  fiddle  between  his  teeth,  or  him  that  could  sing 
"his  part  backward  at  first  sight,  which  those  that  were  neaf 
"him  might  hear  with  their  noses."  Butler's  Remains,  vol.  ii 
p.  245.  Our  poet  prob;ibly  means  to  ridicule  Sir  Kenelni  Digby, 
and  some  treatises  written  by  Dr.  Bulwer,  author  of  the  Artifi- 
lial  Changeling. 

t  Sujipose  we  read  ; 

but  their  own. 

t  Hostem  duin  fiigeret,  se  Fannius  ipse  pe'emit, 

Hie,  rogo,  non  furor  est,  ne  moriare,  mori. 

Mart.  lib.  2,  Ep.  80. 


ii2 


lltiblBllAS.  [Part  in 


This  Iliulibras  had  prov'd  too  true, 
Who,  by  tlic  furies,  left  perdue, 

And  hLiiinted  with  detachments,  sent         ,  35 

From  marshall  Legion's  regiment,* 
Was  by  a  fiend,  as  counterfeit, 
Reliev'd  and  rescu'd  with  a  cheat, 
Wlien  nothing  but  himself,  and  fear. 
Was  both  tiie  imp5  and  conjurer  :t  40 

As  by  tlie  rules  o'  tli'  virtuosi. 
It  follows  in  due  form  of  poesic. 

Disguis'd  in  all  the  masks  of  night. 
We  left  our  champion  on  his  flight. 
And  blindman's  buff,  to  grope  his  way,  45 

In  equal  fear  of  night  and  day  ; 
Who  took  his  dark  and  desp"rate  course, 
He  knew  no  better  than  his  horse  ; 
And  by  an  unknown  devil  led.t 

He  knew  as  little  whither,  fled,  5« 

He  never  was  in  greater  need. 
Nor  less  capacity  of  speed  ; 
Disabled,  both  in  man  and  beast. 
To  fly  and  run  away,  his  best  :§ 
To  keep  the  enemy,  and  fear,  55 

From  equal  falling  on  his  rear. 
And  though,  with  kicks  and  bangs  he  ply  sJ, 
The  further  and  the  nearer  side  ; 

*  Dr.  Grey  supposes  that  Stephen  Marshal,  a  famous  preacher 
anionir  the  IVeshyterians,  is  here  inttnilcd.  But  the  word  mar- 
shal, 1  am  inclineil  to  think,  denotes  a  title  of  office  and  rank, 
not  the  name  of  any  particular  man.  Legion  may,  in  this  place, 
be  used  lor  the  nan'ie  of  a  leader,  or  captain  of  a  company  of 
devils,  not  the  company  itself.  The  meaning  is,  that  the  kni?ht 
was  haunted  by  a  crew  of  devils,  such  as  that  in  the  Gospel, 
which  claimed  the  name  of  Legion,  because  they  were  many; 
though  it  might  be  a  devilish  inorlilication  to  attend  the  sermons 
of  Dr.  Burgess  and  i^tephen  Marshal,  who  arc  said  to  have 
|)reached  before  the  House  of  Comnmns  for  above  seven  hours 
without  ceasing. 

t  The  poet,  with  great  wit,  rallies  the  imaginary  and  ground- 
less fears  which  possess  some  persons :  and  Irom  whence  pro- 
ceed the  tales  of  ghosts  and  apparitions,  imps,  conjurers,  and 
witches.  Tully  says,  nolite  enim  putare— eos  qui  uliquid  impie 
scelerateque  conuuiserin!,  agitari  et  pcrterreri  furiarum  taidis  ar- 
dentlbus:  sua  quemque  fraus,  et  suus  terror  ma.xime  vexat: 
suum  quemque  scelus  agitat,  amentiaque  afficit ;  sua;  maljc  co- 
pitaiiones  consci^^ntia'que  aiiimi  lerrcnl.  Ha;  sunt  impiis  assidua; 
d()mcslica;que  furia;.  I'roS.  Roscio.cap.  .x.viv.  The  same  thought 
may  be  found  in  the  Alhen'an  orator,  yEschines. 

i  It  WHS  Ralpho  who  conveyed  the  knight  out  of  the  widow  * 
house,  though  unkno'vn. 

&  That  is  to  do  his  best  at  flying  and  running  away,  in  ordPi 
to  keep  the  enemy,  and  fear,  from  tailing  equally  on  iiis  rear 


Canto  hi.]  IIUDIBRAS.  443 

As  seamen  ride  with  all  tlicir  force, 

And  tug  as  if  they  row'd  tlio  horse,  60 

And  when  the  hackney  sails  most  swift. 

Believe  they  lag,  or  run  a-diift ; 

So,  tho'  he  posted  e'er  so  fast, 

Ilis  fear  was  greater  tiian  his  haste  : 

For  fear,  though  fleeter  than  the  wind,  63 

Believes  'tis  always  left  hehind. 

But  when  the  morn  began  t'  appear. 

And  shift  t'  another  scene  his  fear. 

He  found  m&  new  oflicious  shade. 

That  came  so  timely  to  his  aid,  70 

And  fore'd  him  from  the  fue  t'  escape, 

Had  turn'd  itself  to  Rajpho's  shape. 

So  like  in  person,  garb,  and  pitch, 

'Twas  hard  t'  interpret  vvhicii  was  wlucli. 

For  Ralpho  had  no  sooner  told  75 

Tho  lady  all  he  had  t'  unfold. 
But  she  convey'd  him  out  of  sight, 
To  entertain  tli'  approaciiing  Knight ; 
And  while  he  gave  himself  diversion, 
T'  accommodate  his  beast  and  person,  £0 

And  put  his  beard  into  a  posture 
At  best  advantage  to  accost  her, 
She  order'd  th'  anti-masquerade, 
For  his  reception,  aforesaid  : 

But,  when  the  ceremony  was  done,  85 

The  lights  put  out,  tlie  furies  gone. 
And  Hudibras,  among  the  rest, 
Convey'd  away,  as  Ralpho  guess'd,* 
The  wretched  caitiff,  all  alone. 

As  he  believ'd,  began  to  moan,  M 

And  tell  his  story  to  himself. 
The  Knight  mistook  him  for  an  elf ; 
And  did  so  still,  till  he  began 
To  scruple  at  Raljjh's  outward  man, 
And  thought,  because  they  oft'  agreed  95 

T'  appear  in  one  another's  stead. 
And  act  the  saint's  and  devil's  part. 
With  undistinguishable  an, 
They  might  have  done  so  now,  perhaps, 

*  It  is  here  said  lliat  Ralpho  sncssed  his  master  was  conveyei) 
iway,  and  that  he  lielieved  liiinsoU' to  be  nil  ahinc  when  he  had 
made  his  lamentation  :  luit  this  seems  to  lie  a  slip  of  memory  in 
the  poet,  for  some  parts  of  his  lamentations  arc  not  at  all  appli- 
cable to  his  own  case,  but  plainly  desiL'ned  for  his  master's  hear 
lug:  such  are  v.  1371,  &.c.  of  Part  iii.  c.  i. 


}44  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  in 

And  put  on  one  another's  shapes  ;  100 

And  thorefore,  to  resolve  the  doubt, 

He  star"d  upon  him,  and  cry'd  out, 

What  art?  my  Squire,  or  that  bold  sprite 

That  took  his  place  and  shape  to-night?* 

Sor^e  busy  independent  pug,  101 

Retainer  to  his  synagogue  ? 

Alas  I  quoth  lie,  I'm  none  of  those 

Your  bosom  friends,  as  you  suppose, 

But  Ralph  himself,  your  trusty  Squire, 

Who  'as  dragg'd  your  donship  out  o'  the  mire,t      110 

And  from  tli'  enchantments  of  a  widow. 

Who  'ad  turn'd  you  int'  a  beast,  have  freed  you  ; 

And,  tho'  a  prisoner  of  war. 

Have  brought  you  safe,  where  now  you  are  ; 

Which  you  wou'd  gratefully  repay,  11-1 

Your  constant  presbyterian  way.t 

That's  stranger,  quoih  the  Knight,  and  stranger, 

Who  gave  thee  notice  of  my  danger  ; 

Quoth  he,  Th'  infernal  conjurer 
Pursu'd,  and  took  me  prisoner  ;  120 

And,  knowing  you  were  hereabout, 
Brought  me  along  to  find  you  out. 
Where  I,  in  hugger-mugger  hid,§ 
Have  noted  all  they  said  or  did  : 

And,  tho'  they  lay  to  him  the  pageant,  125 

I  did  not  see  him  nor  his  agent  ; 
Who  play'd  their  sorceries  out  of  sight, 
T'  avoid  a  fiercer  second  fight. 
But  didst  thou  see  no  devils  then? 
Not  one,  quoth,  he,  but  carnal  men,  130 

A  little  worse  than  fiends  iu  hell. 
And  that  she-devil  Jezebel, 
That  laugh'd  and  tee-he'd  with  derisior 
To  see  them  take  your  deposition. 

*  Sir  Hudibras,  we  may  remember,  though  he  had  no  objection 
to  consult  with  evil  spirits,  did  not  speals  of  ihein  with  much 
respect. 

t  The  word  don  is  often  used  to  sisnify  a  knicht. 

i  Tlie  poet  still  preserves  the  wrangling  teniiier  of  the  dissent- 
inp;  brethren. 

$  Thus  Shakspeare,  in  Hamlet:  "  We  have  done  but  greenly 
"  in  hvffger-mvsrirer  to  inter  him,  poor  Ophelia."  "  All  Ihe  mod 
"em  edftions,"  says  Dr.  Johnson,  "  give  it,  in  private;  if  phrase- 
"ology  is  to  be  changed,  as  words  grow  untnulh  by  disuse,  or 
"gross  bv  vulgarity,  ihe  hisKry  of  every  language  will  be  lost 
*  we  shall  no  longer  have  the  words  of  any  author,  and  as  these 
'altenilions  will  often  he  unskilfully  made,  we  shall  in  tim€ 
'  aav»!  "ery  little  of  his  meaning." 


Canto  in.]  IIUDIBRAS.  445 

What  then,  quoth  Iludibras,  was  he  135 

That  jiluy'd  the  dev'l  to  exainiiio  ino  I 
A  rallying  weaver  ia  the  town,* 
That  (lid  it  in  a  parson's  gown. 
Whom  all  the  parish  take  for  gifted, 
But,  for  my  part,  I  ne'er  beiiev'd  it:  140 

In  which  you  told  them  all  your  feats. 
Your  conscientious  frauds  and  cheats  ; 
Deny'd  your  whipping,  and  confess'd,t 


*  This  line  slinuld  begin  a  new  paragraph,  as  it  belongs  to  a 
new  anil  dilferent  speaker. 

t  It  has  been  supposed  that  the  person  here  meant  was  Wil- 
liams, bishop  of  Lincoln,  afterwards  archbishop  of  York.  Some 
of  his  tracts  seem  to  apologize  for  the  dissenters..— Letter  to  the 
Vicar  of  Grantliam. — And  Ilolj'Table,  name  and  thing;  against 
placing  the  communion-table  at  the  east  end  of  the  chancel,  and 
setting  rails  before  it.  He  delivere<l  the  town  and  castle  of  Con- 
wy* to  the  parliament,  and  had  a  private  conference  with  Prynne 
and  others  :  was  certainly  a  violent  opponent  of  Laud,  and  for 
some  time  a  favorite  with  the  dissenters.  Perhaps  his  great  pas 
sioii,  pride,  and  vanity,  failings,  as  my  worthy  friend  Mr.  Pennant 
says,  (Tour  in  Wales,  vol.  ii.  p.  29.5.)  to  which  his  countrymen 
are  often  subject,  might  have  occasioned  him  to  espouse  the  in- 
•erest  of  llie  dissenters,  jn  order  to  show  his  resentment  to  Laud 
and  Wren.  In  the  same  spirit  he  is  thought  to  have  delivered 
Conwy  lo  General  Mytton,  because  he  had  been  superseded  in 
the  custody  of  that  place  by  Prince  Rupert.  In  the  Gentleman's 
Magazine  for  October,  1789,  is  a  letter  from  (Jliver  Cromwell  to 
Archbishop  Williams,  from  which  it  appears  that  there  was  a 
pood  understanding  between  them.  The  date  is  September  1, 
1647.  Others  have  imagined  that  this  passage  alludes  to  Gra- 
ham, bishop  of  Orkney,  or  Adair,  bishop  of  Kilala.  In  Keith's 
Lives  of  the  Scottish  Bishops,  the  former,  we  read,  was  translated 
from  Dunblane  to  Orkney;  which  see  he  held  from  IG15  to  1638. 
He  was  very  rich,  and  being  threatened  by  the  assembly  of  Glas- 
gow, he  renounced  his  episcoi)al  function  ;  and  in  a  letter  to  that 
assembly  declared  his  unfeigned  sorrow  and  grief  for  having  ex- 
ercised so  sinful  an  office  in  the  church.  In  the  Catalogue  of 
the  Bishops  of  Scotland  to  1088,  Edin.  175.1,  occurs  Alexander 
Lindsay,  who  continued  in  the  see  of  Dunkeld  till  1638,  wlien 
he  renounced  liis  otfice,  abjured  episcopacy,  submitted  to  Pres- 
byterian parity,  and  accepted  from  the  then  rulers  his  former 
church  of  St.  Rlado's.  In  the  opinion  of  others  this  reflection 
was  designed  for  Croft,  bishop  of  Hereford ;  who,  though  he 
could  not  have  been  directly  intended  by  the  squire,  might,  per- 
haps, be  obliquely  glanced  at  by  the  poet.  In  1075,  two  or  three 
years  before  the  publication  of  this  part  of  the  poem,  I'ame  out 
a  pamphlet  by  an  anonymous  writer,  but  generally  attributed  to 
the  bishop  of  Hereford,  called.  The  luiked  Trtilh.  a  title  which 
gives  a  striking  air  of  probability  to  the  supposition.  In  this 
piece  the  distinction  of  the  three  orders  of  the  church  is  flatly 
denied,  and  endeavored  to  be  disproved  :  the  surplice,  bowing  to- 
wards the  altar,  kneeling  at  the  sacrament,  anil  other  ceremonies 
of  thi-  church  are  condeumed;  while  most  of  the  pleas  for  non 

•  Coawy  signifies  llie  irsl  or  chief  of  waters 


146  IIUDIBRAS.  [Pari  ik 

The  nakc£i  trutli  of  all  the  rest, 

More  plainly  than  the  rev'rend  writer  HI 

That  to  our  churches  veil'd  his  miter  ; 

All  which  they  took  in  black  and  white. 

And  cudgell'd  me  to  underwrite. 

What  made  thee,  when  they  all  were  gone, 
And  none  but  thou  and  I  alone,  15C 

To  act  the  devil,  and  forbear 
To  rid  me  of  my  hellish  fear  ? 

Quoth  he,  I  knew  your  constant  rate. 
And  frame  of  sp'rit  too  obstinate, 
To  be  by  me  prevail'd  upon,  155 

With  any  motives  of  my  own  ; 
And  therefore  strove  to  counterfeit 
The  dev'l  awhile,  to  nick  your  wit ; 
The  devil  that  is  your  constant  crony. 
That  only  can  prevail  upon  ye  ;  IGO 

Else  we  might  still  have  been  disputing, 
And  they  with  weighty  drubs  confuting. 

The  Knight,  who  now  began  to  find 
They  'd  left  the  enemy  behind. 

And  saw  no  further  harm  remain,  Jfi."! 

But  feeble  weariness  and  pain, 
Perceiv'd,  by  losing  of  their  way. 
They  'ad  gain'd  th'  advantage  of  the  day. 
And,  by  declining  of  the  road, 

They  had,  by  chance,  their  rear  made  good  ;  170 

He  ventur'd  to  dismiss  his  fear, 
That  parting's  wont  to  rant  and  tear. 
And  give  the  desp'ratest  attack 
To  danger  still  behind  its  back : 

For  having  paus'd  to  recollect,  1T5 

And  on  his  past  success  reflect, 
T'  examine  and  consider  why, 
And  whence,  and  how,  he  came  to  fly, 
And  when  no  devil  had  appear'd. 
What  else  it  could  be  said  he  fear'd,  180 

It  put  him  in  so  fierce  a  rage, 
lie  once  resolv'd  to  re-engage  ; 
Toss'd,  like  a  foot-ball,  back  again 


tonformists  are  speciously  and  zealously  supported.  This  pam 
phlel  fell  not  within  the  compass  of  lime  comprised  in  the 
poem;  but  Mr.  Butler  mifht  think  projier  to  hint  at  it,  because 
it  made  a  great  noise,  and  was  niucli  talked  of.  A.)d>ew  .Mar- 
veil,  in  his  Rehearsal  Transprosed,  says,  it  is  written  with  tl.« 
pen  of  an  ani;el. 


Canto  iii.J  IIUDIBRAS.  447 

AVitli  sliarne,  and  vengeance,  and  disdain.* 

Quoth  ho,  It  was  tiiy  cowardice,  185 

Tiiat  made  me  from  this  leaguer  rise, 

And  wlien  I'd  half  reduc'd  tlie  place, 

To  quit  it  infamously  base, 

Was  better  cover'd  by  the  new 

Arriv'd  detachment,  than  I  knew  ;t  1!)0 

To  slight  my  new  acquests,  and  run, 

Victoriously,  from  battles  won  ; 

And,  reck'ning  all  I  gaiu'd  or  lost. 

To  sell  them  ciieaper  than  they  cost , 

To  make  mc  put  myself  to  fligiit,  193 

And,  conqu'ring,  run  away  by  night ; 

To  drag  me  out,  which  th'  haughty  foe 

Durst  never  have  presum'd  to  do  ; 

To  mount  me  in  the  dark,  by  force. 

Upon  the  bare  ridge  of  my  horse,  200 

Expos'd  in  querpo  to  their  rage, 

^V'ithout  my  arms  and  equipage  ;i 

Lest,  if  tiiey  ventur'd  to  pursue, 

I  might  ih'  unequal  fight  renew  ; 

And,  to  preserve  my  outward  man,  203 

Assum'd  my  place,  and  led  the  van. 

AH  this,  quoth  Ralph,  I  did,  'tis  true. 
Not  to  preserve  myself,  but  you  : 
You,  who  were  damn'd  to  baser  drubs 
Than  wretches  feel  in  powd'ring  tubs,§  210 


•  astuat  ingens 

Uno  in  corde  pudor,  inixtoque  insania  luctu, 
Et  furiis  agitatus  amor,  et  conscia  virtus. 

^neis  X.  870. 

T  Here  seems  a  defect  in  coherency  and  syntax.  The  Knight 
means,  that  it  was  dishonora))le  in  him  to  quit  the  siege,  espw- 
cially  when  reinforced  by  the  arrival  of  the  Squire. 

i  Qucrpu,  from  llie  Spanish  cuerpo,  corpus,  here  signifies  a 
waistcoat,  or  close  jaclieL  liutlcr,  in  MS.  Common-place  book, 
says,  all  coats  of  arms  were  defensive,  and  worn  upon  shields  ; 
though  the  ancient  use  of  them  is  now  given  over,  and  men  fight 
in  querpo.  See  Junii  Etymolog.  to  fight  in  bulT.  ["Boy,  my 
"cloak  and  rapier;  it  fits  not  a  gentleman  of  my  rank  to  walk, 
the  streets  in  querpo."  Beaumont  and  Fletcher.— Love's  Cure 
ii.  1.] 

5  The  poet  often  leaves  room  for  various  conjectures.  Critics, 
to  explain  this  passage,  have  thought  of  the  Dutch  punishment 
of  pumping:  of  the  Salpetricre  prison  at  Paris:  of  the  martyrs 
ground  in  a  mill :  but  1  believe  it  alludes  to  the  old  method  of 
attempting  to  cure  the  venereal  disease  by  sudorifics,  mentioned 
under  the  words  sweating-lanthorns— to  preserve  you  from  the 
dIows  or  pains  (the  cause  for  the  efi'ect)  more  severe  than  those 
which  venereal  patients  suffer  by  the  awkward  attempt  to  cure, 
before  the  use  of  inei;ury,  which  was  not  much  known  before 
38 


J48  HUDIBRAS.  [Part  m 

To  mount  two-wheel'd  carroches,  worse 

TImii  managing  a  wooden  liorse  ;* 

Dragg'd  out  tliro'  straiter  lioles  hy  th'  ears, 

Eras'd  or  coup'd  for  perjurers  ;t 

Who,  tlio'  th'  attempt  liad  prov'd  in  vain,  21 S 

Had  iiad  no  reason  to  complain  ; 

Hut,  since  it  prosper'd,  'tis  unliandsome 

To  blame  the  hand  that  paid  your  ransom. 

And  rescu'd  your  obnoxious  bones 

From  unavoidable  battoons.  22n 

The  enemy  was  reinforc'd. 

And  we  disabled  and  unhors'd, 

Disarm'd,  unqualify'd  for  fight, 

And  no  way  left  but  hasty  flight, 

Which,  tho'  as  desp'rate  in  th'  attempt,!  225 

Has  giv'n  you  freedom  to  condemn  't. 

But  were  our  bones  in  fit  condition 

To  reinforce  the  expedition, 

'Tis  now  unseasonable  and  vain, 

To  think  of  falling  on  again :  £30 

No  martial  project  to  surprise 


:he  restoration  :  Butler  is  so  loose  in  his  grammatical  construe- 
lion,  that  powdering  may  allude  to  drubs,  and  signify  violent,  as 
at  V.  1055  of  this  canto  : 

Laid  on  in  haste  with  such  a  powder. 
That  Ijlows  grew  louder  and  still  louder. 

The  preacher's  pulpit  is  often  called  a  tnh,  and  sometimes  a 
sweating-tub,  from  the  violence  of  action  when  the  preacher 
thumped  the  cushion  like  a  drum.  In  a  ballad  filsely  ascribed 
to  BiUler,  called  Oliver's  Court,  Posthumous  Works,  vol.  ii. 
p.  240 : 

If  it  be  one  of  the  eating  tribe. 

Both  a  Pharisee  and  a  scribe, 

And  hath  learu'd  the  sniveling  tone 

Of  a  fluxt  devotion, 

Cursing  from  his  siceating-tub. 

Perhaps  it  would  be  better,  if  in  the  first  line  we  read,  canting 
tribe.    See  P.  ii.  c.  iii.  v.  7.')9,  note. 

*  Carroche  properly  signifies  coach,  from  the  French  carrosse; 
but  in  burlesque  it  is  a  cart,  particularly  that  in  which  convicts 
are  carried  to  e.xecution.  Riding  the  wooden-horse  was  a  pun- 
ishment inflicted  on  soUliers.  That  is,  you  who  was  damned,  or 
condemned  to  be  dragged,  &.c. 

t  Erased,  in  heraldry,  is  when  a  mendier  seems  forcibly  torn, 
or  plucked  otT  from  the  body,  so  that  it  looked  jagged  like  the 
teeth  of  a  saw;  it  is  used  in  contradistinction  to  couped,  which 
signifies  a  thing  cut  of!'  clean  and  smooth.  Set  in  the  pillory 
and  couped,  from  the  French  coupL",  cropped.  The  knight  had 
incvirred  the  guilt  of  perjury. 

t  i^upposc  we  read  : 

V\"hich,  tho'  'tirns  desp'rate 


Canto  ii:.]  HUDIBRAS  44S 

Can  ever  be  attempted  twice  ;• 

Nor  cast  design  servo  afterwards, 

As  gamesters  tear  tlieir  losing  cards. 

Beside,  our  bangs  of  man  and  beast  235 

Are  fit  for  notliing  now  but  rest, 

And  for  a  while  will  not  be  able 

To  rally  and  prove  serviceable : 

And  therefore  I,  with  reason,  chose 

This  stratagem  t'  amuse  our  foes,  210 

To  make  an  hon'rable  retreat. 

And  wave  a  total  sure  defeat: 

For  those  that  fly  may  fight  again, 

Which  lie  can  never  do  that 's  slain.t 

Hence  timely  running  's  no  mean  part  245 

Of  conduct,  in  the  martial  art, 

By  which  some  glorious  feats  achieve, 

As  citizens  by  breaking  thrive, 

And  cannons  conquer  armies,  while 

They  seem  to  draw  oft'  and  recoil ;  250 

Is  held  the  gallant'st  course,  and  bravest,t 

To  great  exploits,  as  well  as  safest ; 

That  spares  th'  expense  of  time  and  pains, 

And  dang'rous  beating  out  of  brains  ; 

And,  in  the  end,  prevails  as  certain  255 

As  those  that  never  trust  to  fortune  ; 

But  make  their  fear  do  execution 

Beyond  the  stoutest  resolution  ; 

As  earthquakes  kill  without  a  blow. 

And,  only  trembling,  overthrow.  200 

*  A  coup  (le  ni:iin,  or  project  of  taking  by  surpri^^e,  if  it  dees 
not  succee<l  at  first,  ousrlit  not  to  be  persevered  in.  Non  licet  bis 
peccare,  is  a  known  military  maxim. 

t  Demosthenes  justified  his  flight  from  the  battle  of  Chaeronea 
by  the  same  argument. 

It  is  an  iambic  from  some  pnet,  Aulus  d'cllius,  Noct.  Attic,  lib 
17.  21.     Dr.  Jorlin,  in  his  Tracts,  would  read, 

'AviV  5  0£uyui'  K(u  TTaXiir  ye  (pctj^crai, 
lie  who  has  an  inclination  to.ead  more  concerning  this  Senarius 
proverbialis  quo  monemur  non  protinus  abjicere  animuni,  siquid 
paruin  feliciier  successerit,  nam  victos  posse  vincero :  proinde 
Homerus,  &c.,  may  consult  Erasiii.  Adagia.— The  Satyre  Mcinp" 
96e  has  the  idea  thus  expressed  : 

Souvent  celuy  qui  demcure 

Est  cause  de  son  meschef, 

Celuy  qui  fuit  de  bonne  heuic 

Peut  combattre  derechef. 
In  some  editions  we  read  : 

■  Tis  h<'ld  the  gallant'st 


J50  HUDIBRAS.  [Partly 

If  til'  ancients  crown'd  their  bravest  men 

That  only  sav'd  a  citizen, 

What  victory  cou'd  e'er  be  won. 

If  ev'ry  one  would  save  but  one  ? 

Or  fight  endanger'd  to  be  lost,  263 

Were  all  resolve  to  save  the  most  ? 

By  this  means,  when  a  battle's  won, 

The  war's  as  far  from  being  done  ; 

For  tiiose  tiiat  save  themselves  and  fly. 

Go  halves,  at  least,  i'  th'  victory  ;  270 

And  sometime,  when  the  loss  is  small, 

And  danger  great,  they  challenge  all  ; 

Print  new  additions  to  their  feats, 

And  emendations  in  gazettes  ; 

And  wlien,  for  furious  haste  to  run,  27S 

They  durst  not  stay  to  fire  a  gun, 

Have  done  't  with  bonfires,  and  at  home 

Made  squibs  and  crackers  overcome  ; 

To  set  the  rabble  on  a  flame. 

And  keep  their  governors  from  blame,  2<Mi 

Disperse  the  news  the  pulpit  tells,* 

Confirm'd  with  fire-works  and  with  bells: 

And  tho'  reduc'd  to  that  extreme. 

They  have  been  forc'd  to  sing  Te  Deuni: 

Yet,  witli  religious  blasphemy,  285 

By  flattering  heav'n  with  a  lie  ; 

And,  for  their  beating,  giving  thanks. 

They  've  rais'd  recruits,  and  fill'd  their  ranks  ;+ 

*  "In  their  sermons,"  says  Burnet,  "and  chiefly  in  their 
prayers,  all  that  passed  in  the  state  was  canvassed.  Men  were 
•as  pood  as  named,  and  either  recommended  or  complained'of  to 
'  God,  as  they  were  odious  or  acceptiilile  to  them.  At  length 
♦this  humor  grew  so  petulan*,  that  the  pulpit  was  a  scene  of 
'news  and  passion." 

t  It  has  been  an  ancient  and  very  freq  lent  practice  for  the 
van(iuished  party  in  war  to  t)nast  of  vii-.tory,  and  even  to  ordain 
solemn  tlianksgivings,  as  means  of  keeping  up  the  spirits  of  the 
people.  The  pirliament  often  had  recourse  to  this  artifice,  and 
in  the  course  of  the  war  had  thirty-five  thank-giving  days.  In 
the  first  notalile  encounter,  lit  Wickfield  near  Worcester,  Sep- 
leml)er  '23,  1G4'2,  their  forces  received  a  totil  defeat.  Whitelock 
says,  they  were  all  killed  or  routed,  and  only  one  man  loot  on 
the  king's  side.  Yet  the  pirliamentarians  spread  about  printed 
pipers  I'raggingof  it  as  a  cnniplete  victory,  and  ordained  a  special 
thanksgiving  in  London.  This  Ihey  did  after  the  b  ittle  of  Keyn 
ton,  and  the  secoiiil  fight  at  Newbery  ;  but  particularly  when 
Sir  William  Waller  received  that  great  defeat  at  Roundway- 
down,  they  kept  a  thanksgiving  at  Gloucester,  and  mnde  re- 
joicings for  a  signal  victory,  which  they  pretended  ho  had  gained 
for  them.  This  was  no  new  practice.  See  Polyoeni  Stratagem, 
Ub.  I.  cap.  3,5,  and   U.— Stratocles  persuaded  the  Athenians  to 


CAirro  iii.l  IIUDIBRAS.  451 

For  tiiose  w  ho  run  from  th'  enemy, 

Entrage  them  equally  to  fly  ;  290 

And  when  the  fight  becomes  a  chace, 

Those  win  the  day  that  win  tlie  race  ;* 

And  that  which  would  not  pass  in  figiits. 

Has  done  the  feat  with  easy  flights  ;t 

Recover'd  many  a  dcsp'rato  campaign  29.' 

Witli  Bonrdeaux,  Burgundy,  and  Champaign  ; 

Restor'd  the  fainting  high  and  mighty, 

With  brandy-wine,  and  aquavitaj ; 

And  made  them  stoutly  overcome 

With  bacrack,  hoccamore  and  mum  ;t  300 

Wliom  til'  uncontroli'd  decrees  of  fate 

To  victory  necessitate  ; 

With  which,  alllio'  tliey  run  or  burn,6 

They  unavoidably  return  ; 

Or  else  tiieir  sultan  populaces  305 

Still  strangle  all  their  routed  bassas.|| 

Quoth  iiudibras,  I  understand 
What  fights  thou  mean'st  at  sea  and  land. 
And  wiio  those  were  that  run  away, 
And  yet  gave  out  th'  had  won  the  day  ;ir  310 

offer  a  sacrifice  to  Ihe  gods,  by  way  of  Oianks,  on  account  of 
their  havinc  defeated  their  eiieiDies,  and  yet  he  knew  that  the 
Athenian  licet  hud  been  defeated.  VVlien  the  truth  was  known, 
and  the  pcdple  exasperated,  his  reply  was,  "  What  injury  have 
'  I  done  you  ?  it  is  owing  to  me  that  you  have  spent  three  days 
"  in  joy." — Catherine  of  Medicis  was  used  to  say,  that  a  false 
report,  if  liclieved  for  three  days,  might  save  a  state.— See  many 
stories  of  the  same  kind  in  the  (ieneral  Dictionary,  vol.  x.  p.  337. 
*  An  old  philosopher,  at  a  drinking  match,  insisted  that  he 
had  won  the  [irize  liecause  he  was  first  drunk. 

t  Dolus  an  virtus  quis  in  hoste  requirit. 

%  The  first  is  an  excellent  kind  of  Rhenish  wine,  so  called 
from  a  town  of  that  name  in  the  lower  Palatinate.  [Bacharach. 
Henry  Stephens  preferred  this  wine  to  every  other.]  Hcylin  de- 
rived the  name  of  bacrack  from  Bacchi  ara.  [It  was  an  ancient 
tradition.]  Hoccamore  is  what  we  call  old  hock.  Mum  is  a 
liquor  used  in  Germany,  and  made,  as  I  am  told,  from  wheat 
malted.  -    J     a 

§  That  is,  though  they  run  away,  or  their  ships  are  fired.  See 
V.  308. 

II  The  mob,  like  the  sultin  or  grand  seignior,  seldom  fail  to 
strangle  any  of  their  commanders,  called  iiassas,  if  they  prove 
nnsuccessful.  Thus  Waller  was  neglected  after  the  battle  of 
Roundaway-down,  called  by  the  wits  Runaway-down. 

IT  The  poet.might  farther  have  illustrated  this  subject,  if  he 
had  known  the  contents  of  an  essay  lately  published  by  Mr. 
Maclaurin,  to  prove  that  Troy  really  was  not  fiken  by  the 
Greeks.  See  the  Transactions  of  the  Royal  Society  of  Edm- 
burgh:  this  whim  is  as  old  as  Dio  Clirysostom,  who  wrote  an 
elaborate  tract,  still  extant,  to  demonstrate  his  Taradox. 


jrv2  HUDIBKAS  {Part  m 

Althougli  the  rabble  soiis'd  them  for  't, 

O'er  liead  ana  ears,  in  mud  and  dirt. 

Tis  true  our  modeiii  way  of  war 

Is  grown  more  politic  by  far,* 

But  not  so  resolute  and  bold,  31*! 

Nor  ty'd  to  honour,  as  the  old. 

For  now  tiiey  laugh  at  giving  battle, 

Unless  it  be  to  hcrdj  of  cattle  ; 

Or  fighting  convoys  of  provision, 

The  whole  design  o'  th'  expedition,  32P 

And  not  with  downriglit  blows  to  rout 

The  enemy,  but  eat  them  out: 

As  fighting,  in  all  beasts  of  prey. 

And  eating,  are  perform'd  one  way, 

To  give  defiance  to  their  teeth,  325 

And  fight  their  stubborn  guts  to  death  ; 

And  those  achieve  the  high'st  renown. 

That  bring  the  other  stomachs  down. 

There's  now  no  fear  o(  wounds  nor  maiming. 

All  dangers  are  rednc'd  to  famine,  330 

And  feats  of  arms  to  plot,  design, 

Surprise,  and  stratagem,  and  mine : 

But  have  no  need  nor  use  of  courage. 

Unless  it  be  for  glory,  or  forage : 

For  if  they  fight  'tis  but  by  chance,  335 

When  one  side  veiit'ring  to  advance. 

And  come  uncivilly  too  near. 

Are  charg'd  unmercifully  i'  th'  rear. 

And  forc'd,  with  terrible  resistance. 

To  keep  hereafter  at  a  distance,  j4l) 


*  Mi    Butler's   MS.  Common-place  book  has  the  followia| 
Ines ' 

For  fighting  now  is  out  of  moiie, 
And  stratagem's  tlie  only  ro:tii ; 
Unless  in  Ih'  oiit-of  fashion  wars, 
Of  Irarh'roiis  Turks  and  Polanders. 
All  feats  of  arms  are  now  reduc'd 
To  chousing,  (ir  to  being  chous'd: 
They  fight  nf)t  now  to  overthrow, 
Bu*.  gall  or  circumvent  a  foe. 
And  watch  all  small  advantages 
As  if  they  fought  a  game  at  chess  ; 
And  he's  approv'd  the  most  deserving 
Who  longest  can  hold  out  at  starving. 
Who  makes  best  fricasees  of  cats, 

Of  frogs  and ,  and  mice  and  rats  ; 

Pottage  of  vermin,  and  ragoos 
Of  trunks  and  boxes,  and  old  shoes. 
And  those  who.  like  th'  immortal  gods, 
Do  never  eat,  have  siill  the  odiU- 


Ca.vto  hi.]  IIUUIBUAS.  463 

To  pick  out  ground  t'  encamp  upon, 

Wlicro  store  of  largest  rivers  run, 

Tliut  serve,  instead  of  |)eaecfiil  barriers, 

To  part  tir  entragenients  of  their  warriors  j 

Wiiere  botii  from  side  to  side  may  slii]),  3U 

And  only  encounter  at  bo-peep: 

For  men  are  found  the  stouter-hearted, 

The  certainer  they're  to  be  parted, 

And  therefore  post  tliemselves  in  bogs, 

As  th'  ancient  mice  altack'd  the  frogs,*  35t 

And  made  tlieir  mortal  enemy, 

The  water-rat,  their  strict  ally.t 

For  'tis  not  now,  who's  stout  and  bold  ? 

But,  who  bears  hunger  best,  and  cold  ?I 

And  he's  a|)prov"d  the  most  deserving,  355 

Who  longest  can  hold  out  at  starving  ; 

And  he  tliat  routs  most  pigs  and  cows, 

The  forn:idablest  man  of  prowess.§ 

So  th'  emperor  Caligula, 

That  triumph'd  o'er  the  British  sea,||  360 

Took  crabs  and  oysters  prisoners, 

And  lobsters,  'stead  of  cuirassiers, IT 

Engag'd  his  legions  in  fierce  bustles 

With  periwinkles,  prawns,  and  muscles. 

And  led  his  troops  with  furious  gallops,  365 


*  Alliulins;  to  the  poem  on  the  battle  between  the  Mice  and 
Ihe  Frogs  altriliutcd  to  Homer. 

t  Tlie  Dutch,  who  seemeil  to  favor  the  parliiimenlarians. 

i  An  ordinance  was  passed  March  28.  If)-t4.  (or  the  contribu- 
tion of  one  meal  a  week  toward  the  charse  of  llie  army. 

^  A  sneer,  perhaps,  on  Venablcs  and  I'en,  who  were  unfor- 
tunate in  their  expedition  against  the  Spaniards  at  St.  Uomingo, 
in  the  year  1G.>5.  It  is  observed  of  them,  that  they  e.vercised 
tlieir  valor  only  on  horses,  asses,  and  such  like,  making  a 
slaughter  of  all  they  met,  greedily  devouring  skins,  entrails,  and 
all,  to  satiate  their  imager.  See  Ilarleian  Miscellany,  vol.  iii. 
No.  xii.  pp.  4'J4,  498. 

II  Caligula,  having  ranged  his  army  on  the  sea-shore,  and  dis- 
posed his  inslrumeiits  of  war  as  if  he  was  just  going  to  engage, 
while  every  one  wondered  what  he  designed  to  do,  on  a  sudden 
ordered  his  men  to  gather  up  the  shells  on  the  strand,  and  to  fill 
Iheir  helmets  and  their  bosoms  with  them,  calling  them  tlie  spoils 
of  the  conquered  ocean.     Suetonius  in  vila  CaligulsB. 

If  Sir  Arthur  Hazelrig  had  a  regiment  called  his  lobsters;  it 
has  been  thought  by  some,  that  the  defeat  at  Roundaway-down 
was  owing  to  the  ill-behavior  of  this  regiment.  Cleveland,  in 
nis  character  of  a  London  diurnal,  says,  "  This  is  the  William 
"which  is  the  city's  champion,  and  the  diurnal's  delight.  Yet 
"in  all  this  triumph,  translate  the  scene  but  to  Roundaway- 
■'down,  there   Hazelrig's  lobsters  were  turned  into  crabs,  and 

crawled  backwards  "' 


51  IIUDIBRAs.  [Part  in 

To  cliarge  wliolfi  regiments  of  scallojjs  ; 

Not  .ike  tiieir  ancient  way  of  war, 

To  wait  cii  IjIs  triumphal  car  ; 

But  when  he  went  to  dine  or  sup, 

More  bravely  ate  his  captives  up,  37* 

And  left  all  war,  by  hig  example, 

Ileduc'd  to  vict'lintj  of  a  camp  well. 

Quoth  Ralph,  By  all  that  you  have  said, 
And  twice  as  mucli  that  I  cou'd  aad, 
'Tis  plain  you  cannot  now  do  worse  375 

Than  take  this  out-of-fasliion'd  course  ; 
To  hope,  by  stratagem,  to  woo  her. 
Or  waging  battle  to  subdue  her; 
Tho'  some  have  done  it  in  romances, 
'Vnd  bang'd  them  into  am'rous  fancies  ;  380 

As  those  who  won  the  Amazons, 
By  wanton  drubbing  of  their  bones  ; 
And  stout  Rinaldo  gain'd  his  bride* 
By  courting  of  her  back  and  side. 
But  since  tiiose  times  and  feats  are  over,  385 

They  are  not  for  a  modern  lover, 
When  mistresses  arc  too  cross-grain'd. 
By  such  addresses  to  be  gain'd  ; 
And  if  they  were,  would  have  it  out 
With  many  another  kind  of  bout.  390 

Tlierefore  I  hold  no  course  s'  infeasible, 
As  this  of  force,  to  win  the  Jezebel, 
To  storm  her  heart  by  th'  antic  charms 
Of  ladies  errant,  force  of  arms  ; 

But  rather  strive  by  law  to  win  her,  395 

And  try  the  title  you  have  in  her. 
Your  case  is  clear,  you  have  her  word, 
And  me  to  witness  the  accord  ;t 
Besides  two  more  of  her  retinue 

To  testify  what  pass'd  between  you  ;  400 

IMore  probable,  and  like  to  hold. 
Than  hand,  or  seal,  or  breaking  jrold,! 
For  which  so  many  that  renounc'd 
Their  plighted  contrajcts  have  been  trouiic  d, 


*  See  the  interview  between  Rinaldo  and  Armida,  in  the  last 
book  of  Tacso.  Or  perhaps  the  pnet,  qiiotins  by  meninry,  mis- 
look  the  name,  and  intended  to  have  mentioned  Ruggiero  in 
Ariosto. 

t  R;ilpho,  no  donbt,  was  ready  to  witness  any  thin?  that  would 
Rerre  his  mm;  and  hoped  the  widow's  two  attendants  would  dg 
the  same. 

t  See  note  on  P.  ii.  c.  i.  I.  585. 


Canto  m.]  IIUDIBRAS.  455 

And  bills  upon  record  been  found,  40* 

That  forc'd  tho  ladies  to  compound  ; 

And  that,  nnless  I  miss  the  matter, 

Is  all  tho  business  you  look  after. 

Besides,  encountei-s  at  tho  bar 

Are  braver  now  than  those  in  war,  4-C 

In  which  the  law  docs  execution, 

With  less  disorder  and  confusion  ; 

Has  more  of  honour  in  't,  some  hold. 

Not  like  the  new  way,  but  the  old,* 

When  those  the  pen  had  drawn  togctller,^  415 

Decided  quarrels  with  the  feather, 

And  winged  arrows  kill'd  as  dead, 

And  more  than  bullets  now  of  lead  :t 

So  all  their  combats  now,  as  then. 

Are  manag"d  chiefly  by  the  pen  ;  420 

That  does  the  feat,  with  brave  vigours. 

In  words  at  length,  as  well  as  figures  ; 

Is  judge  of  all  tho  world  performs 

111  voluntary  feats  of  arms. 

And  whatsoe'r  's  atchiev'd  in  fight,  425 

Determines  which  is  wrong  or  right ; 

For  whether  you  prevail,  or  lose, 

AH  must  be  try'd  there  in  the  close  ;§ 

And  therefore  'tis  not  wise  to  shun 

What  j'ou  must  trust  to  ere  ye  've  done.  430 

The  law  that  settles  all  you  do, 

And  marries  where  you  did  but  woo  ; 

That  makes  the  most  perfidious  lover, 

A  lady,  that's  as  false,  recover  ;|| 

And  if  it  judge  upon  your  side,  435 


*  The  poet's  ideas  crowd  so  fast  upoa  liim,  that  he  is  not  al- 
ways quite  intelligible  at  first  reading.  Italpho  persuades  the 
knight  to  gain  the  widow,  at  least  her  fi)rliine,  not  by  the  fire- 
arms now  in  use,  but  by  law ;  the  featheretl  arrow  of  the 
lawyer. 

t  Does  he  mean  those  whom  written  challenges  had  brought 
to  fight  ■?  or  dues  lie  allude  to  the  Latin  phrase  for  enlisting: 
conscript!  mililcs,  conscribere  exercitus  1 

X  Bishop  VVilkins  (Matheni.  Magic.)  maintains,  that  the  en- 
gines of  the  ancients,  balislu!  and  catapulta,",  did  more  execution, 
and  were  far  more  p.irtable,  than  cannon.  See  likewise  Sii 
Clement  Edmonds's  judicious  observations  upon  Ca!sar's  Com- 
mentaries. Battles  in  ancient  times  seem  to  have  been  attend- 
ed with  more  casualties  than  since  the  invention  of  gunpowder. 

$  Ralplio  goes  on  to  e.vtol  the  energy  of  the  pen,  which,  in  the 
hand  of  the  historian,  can  control  even  the  most  warlike  efforts. 

II  That  is,  the  law  will  recover  a  lady  that  Is  as  false  as  tlio 
(iiost  perfidious  lover 


156  IIUDIBRAS  [Paivt  il 

Will  scon  extend  licr  for  your  bride,* 

And  put  lier  person,  goods,  or  lands, 

Or  which  you  like  best,  int'  your  hands. 

For  law's  the  wisdom  of  all  ages, 

And  manag'd  by  the  ablest  sages,  441 

Who,  the'  their  bus'ness  at  the  bar 

Be  but  a  kind  of  civil  war, 

In  which  th'  engage  witii  fiercer  dudgeons 

Than  e'er  the  Grecians  did,  and  Trojans  ; 

Tiiey  never  manage  the  contest  443 

T'  injpair  their  public  interest, 

Or  by  their  controversies  lessen 

The  dignity  of  their  profession  :. 

Not  like  us  brethren,  who  divide 

Our  commonwealth,  the  cause,  and  side  ;t  450 

And  tho'  we're  all  as  near  of  kindred 

As  th'  outward  man  is  to  the  inward, 

We  agree  in  nothing,  but  to  wrangle 

About  the  slightest  fingle-fangle, 

While  lawyers  have  more  sober  sense,  455 

Than  t'  argue  at  their  own  expense, t 

But  make  their  best  advantages 

Of  others'  quarrels,  like  the  Swiss  ;§ 

And  out  of  foreign  controversies, 

By  aiding  both  sides,  fill  their  purses  ;  4fl« 

But  have  no  int'rest  in  the  cause 

For  which  th'  engage,  and  wage  the  laws 

Nor  further  prospect  than  their  pay, 

W'hether  they  lose  or  win  the  day. 

And  tho'  th'  abounded  in  all  ages,  465 

With  sundry  learned  clerks  and  sages  ; 

Tho'  all  their  bus'ness  be  dispute. 

Which  way  they  canvass  ev'ry  suit. 

They  've  uo  disputes  about  their  art, 


*  Lay  an  extent  upon  her ;  seize  her  for  your  use. 

t  Take  part  on  one  side  or  Itie  oilier.  Whereas  we  who  have 
a  common  interest,  a  common  cause,  a  common  party  against 
the  royalists  and  Episcopalians,  wealien  our  strength  by  internal 
divisions  among  ourselves. 

t  The  wisdom  of  lawyers  is  such,  that  however  they  may 
seem  to  quarrel  at  the  bar,  yet  they  are  good  friends  the  moment 
they  leave  the  court.  Unlike  u~,  Independents  and  Presbyte- 
rians, who,  though  our  opinions  are  very  similar,  are  always 
wrangling  about  the  merest  trifles. 

^  The  Swiss,  if  they  are  well  paid,  will  enter  into  the  service 
of  any  foreign  power:  but,  point  d'argent,  point  de  Suisse.  An 
M  distich  says : 

Theologis  animam  subjecit  lapsus  Adaml 
Et  corpus  inedicis  et  bona  juridicla. 


Cahto  III.]  IIUDIBRAS.  457 

Nor  in  i)olemics  controvert ;  470 

Wliilo  all  j)rofessions  else  are  found 

With  nothinij  but  disputes  t'  abound : 

Divines  of  all  sorts,  and  physicians, 

Philosopiiers,  mathematicians ; 

The  Gulenist,  and  Paraceisian,  47S 

Condemn  the  way  eacli  other  deals  ia  ,* 

Anatomists  dissect  and  mangle, 

To  cut  themselves  out  work  to  wrang.e  ; 

Astrologers  dispute  their  dreams, 

That  in  their  sleeps  they  talk  of  schemes  ;  480 

And  heralds  stickle,  who  got  who. 

So  many  hundred  years  ago. 

But  lawyers  are  too  wise  a  nation 
T'  expose  their  trade  to  disputation. 
Or  make  their  busy  rabble  judges  485 

Of  all  their  secret  piques  and  grudges ; 
la  wiiich,  whoever  wins  the  day, 
The  whole  profession's  sure  to  pay.t 
Beside,  no  mountebanks,  nor  cheats, 
Dare  undertake  to  do  their  feats,  490 

Wlien  in  all  other  sciences 
They  swarm  like  insects,  and  increase, 

For  what  bigot  durst  ever  draw,t 
By  inward  light,  a  deed  in  law? 

Or  could  hold  forth  by  revelation,  495 

An  answer  to  a  declaration? 
For  those  that  meddle  with  their  tools. 
Will  cut  their  fingers,  if  they  're  fools  : 
And  if  you  follow  their  advice, 

la  hills,  and  answers,  and  replies,  500 

They'll  write  a  love-letter  ia  chancery, 
Shall  bring  her  upon  oath  to  answer  ye, 
And  soon  reduce  her  to  b'  your  wife, 
Or  make  her  weary  of  her  life. 

The  Knight,  who  us'd  with  tricks  and  shifts        505 
To  edify  by  Ralpho's  gifts. 
But  ia  appearance  cry'd  him  down,§ 
To  make  them  better  seem  his  own, 

♦  The  followers  of  Galen  weie  advocates  for  the  virtues  and 
Kse  of  plants  ;  the  disciples  of  Paracelsus  reconiniended  chemi 
cal  preparations. 

t  'J'hat  is,  whoever  wins  is  sure  to  pay  the  whole  profession; 
orratlier,  whether  sergeant  A  or  counsellor  15  be  more  successful 
in  abusing  each  other,  the  wliole  profession  of  the  law  is  dis- 
graced by  their  scurrilities. 

t  The  accent  is  here  laid  on  the  last  syllalile  of  bigot. 

$  Perhaps  a  better  reading  would  be, — cry'd  'em  down. 


158 


HUDIBRAS.  tPARTin 


Al'.  plagiaries'  constant  course 

or  sinking  when  tiiey  take  a  purse,*  5U 

Resoiv'd  to  follow  his  advice, 

But  kept  it  from  hiin  by  disguise  ; 

And,  after  stubborn  contradiction, 

To  counterfeit  his  own  conviction. 

And,  by  transition,  fall  upon  518 

The  resolution  as  his  own.t 

Quoth  he,  This  gambol  thou  advisest 
Is,  of  all  others,  the  unwisest ; 
For,  if  I  think  by  law  to  gain  her, 
There's  nothing  sillier,  nor  vainer.  .  58« 

'Tis  but  to  hazard  my  pretence. 
Where  nothing's  certain  but  th'  expence  ; 
To  act  against  myself,  and  traverse 
My  suit  and  title  to  lier  favours  ; 

And  if  she  should,  which  heav'n  forbid,  523 

O'erthrow  me,  as  the  fiddler  did. 
What  after-course  have  I  to  take, 
"Gainst  losing  all  I  have  at  stake? 
He  that  with  injury  is  gricv'd. 

And  goes  to  law  to  be  reliev'd,  530 

Is  sillier  than  a  sottish  chouse, 
Who,  when  a  thief  has  robb'd  his  house. 
Applies  himself  to  cunning  men, 
To  help  him  to  his  goods  agen  ;t 

*  Such  as  steal  out  of  other  men's  works,  and  abuse  the  au- 
thors they  are  beholden  to,  are  like  highwaymen,  who  abuse 
those  whom  they  rob.  Or  perhaps  sinkins  may  mean  stooping, 
or  diving  with  the  hand  to  reach  a  person's  pocket.  I'ickpock 
8ts  in  partnership  may  be  apt  to  sink  or  conceal  part  of  the  booty 
from  their  companions.  But  I  must  refer  to  the  I5o\v-strect  Vo- 
cabulary. [The  meanins;  is  simply  the  plagiarist  conceals  his 
robljerv  as  the  pickpocket  does  his.] 

I  Dr!  Thomas  Burnet  says,  Libentius  auscultamus  rationibus 
et  argumentis  a  nobis  ip«is  inventis,  quam  ab  aliis  propositis;  ul, 
cum  sententiam  mutamus,  non  tarn  ab  aliis  vicli,  quam  a  nobis- 
met  ipsis  edocti,  id  fecisse  videamur. 

t  The  misfortunes  of  too  many  will  incline  them  to  subscribe 
to  the  truth  of  this  e.\cellent  observatiim.    The  word  chews,  ot 
chouse,  is  derived  either  from  the  French,  ^aus.9cr,  to  cheat  oi 
laugh  at,  or  from  the  Italian,  ff-offo,  a  fool.    In  Mr.  Butler's  .MS. 
aniler  these  lines,  are  many  severe  strictures  on  lawyers. 
IMore  nice  and  subtle  than  those  wire-drawers 
Of  equity  and  justice,  common  lawyers  ; 
Who  never  end,  l)Ut  always  iirunc  a  suit 
To  make  it  bear  the  greater  store  of  fruit. 
As  laboring  men  their  hands,  criers  their  lungs, 
Porters  tlieir  backs,  lawyers  hire  out  their  tongues 
A  tongue  to  mire  and  gain  accustomed  long, 
Grows  quite  insensible  to  right  or  wrong. 


Canto  ih.]  IIUDIBRAS  459 

When  all  he  can  expect  to  gain,  535 

Is  but  to  squander  more  in  vain  : 

And  yet  I  have  no  other  way, 

But  is  as  difficult  to  play  ; 

For  to  reduce  her  by  mala  force 

Is  now  in  vain  ;  by  lair  means,  worse  ;  5M 

But  worst  of  all  to  give  her  over, 

'Till  she's  as  desp'rate  to  recover  : 

For  bad  games  are  thrown  up  too  soon, 

Until  they  "re  never  to  be  won  ; 

But  since  I  have  no  other  course,  StS 

But  is  as  bad  t'  attempt,  or  woi-se, 

He  that  complies  against  his  will. 

Is  of  his  own  opinion  still. 

Which  he  may  adhere  to,  yet  disown. 

For  reasons  to  himself  best  known  ;  550 

But  'tis  not  to  b'  avoided  now, 

For  Sidrophel  resolves  to  sue  ; 

Whom  I  must  answer,  or  begin, 

Inevitably,  first  with  him  ; 

For  I've  receiv'd  advertisement,  558 

By  times  enough,  of  his  intent ; 

And  knowing  he  that  first  complains 

Th'  advantage  of  the  bus'uess  gains  ; 

For  courts  of  justice  understand 

The  plaintiir  to  be  eldest  hand  ;  560 

Who  what  he  pleases  may  aver, 

The  other  nothing  till  he  swear  ;* 

Is  freely  admitted  to  all  grace, 

And  lawful  favour,  by  his  place  ; 

And,  for  his  bringing  custom  in,  565 

Has  all  advantages  to  win : 

I,  who  resolve  to  ovei-see 

No  lucky  opportunity. 

Will  go  to  council,  to  advise 

Which  way  t'  encounter,  or  surprise,  570 

And  after  long  consideration, 

Have  found  out  one  to  fit  th'  occasion, 

Most  apt  for  what  I  have  to  do, 

As  counsellor,  and  justice  too.t 

The  humorist  thnl  would  have  had  a  trial 
With  one  that  did  but  looli  upon  his  d'.al, 
And  sued  him  but  for  tellin;;  of  his  clocl;, 
And  saying,  'twas  too  fast,  or  slow  it  struck, 

•  An  answer  to  a  bill  of  chancery  is  always  upon  oath  ; — 6p> 
alloc  not  so. 
t  It  is  probable  that  the  poet  had  an  eye  to  some  particuUf 
39 


iGO  IltDinilAS.  IPaktoi 

And  truly  so,  no  doubt,  lie  was,  573 

A  lawyer  fit  for  such  a  case. 

An  old  dull  sot,  who  told  the  clock,* 
For  many  years  at  Bridewell-dock, 
At  Westminster,  and  Hicks's-hall, 
And  hiccius  doctiust  play'd  in  all  ;  580 

Where,  in  all  governments  and  times, 
He  'ad  been  both  friend  and  foe  to  crimes, 
And  us'd  two  equal  ways  of  gaining, 
By  hind'ring  justice,  or  maintainin<r,t 
To  many  a  whore  gave  privilege,  58j 

And  whipped,  for  want  of  quarterage  ', 
Cart-loads  of  bawds  to  prison  sent. 
For  b'ing  behind  a  fortnight's  rent ; 
And  many  a  trusty  pimp  and  crony 
To  Pudddle-dock,  for  want  of  money  500 

Engag'd  the  constables  to  seize 
All  those  that  wou'd  not  break  the  peace  ; 
Nor  give  him  back  his  own  foul  words, 
Though  sometimes  commoners,  or  lords, 
And  kept  'cm  prisoners  of  course,  595 

For  being  sober  at  ill  hours  ; 
That  in  the  morning  he  might  free 
Or  bind  'em  over  for  his  fee. 
Made  monsters  fine,  and  puppet-plays, 
For  leave  to  practice  in  their  ways  ;  COO 

Farm'd  out  all  cheats,  and  went  a  share 
With  th'  headborough  and  scavenger  ; 
And  made  the  dirt  i'  th'  streets  compound, 
For  taking  up  the  public  ground  ;§ 


person  in  this  ch;iracler.  The  olil  annotator  says  it  was  one 
Prideaux;  but  gives  no  further  account  of  him.  One  of  that 
name  was  attorney-general  to  tlie  rump,  and  commissioner  of 
the  great  seal,  lie  died  August  I'.),  in  tlie  last  year  of  their  reign. 
Tillotson  lived  in  his  family.  See  Birch's  Life  of  the  Archbish- 
op, p.  14.  He  cannot  have  been  here  meant.  The  poet,  I  im- 
agine, alludes  to  some  one  of  a  much  lower  class.  See  the  char- 
acter of  a  justice  in  Butler's  Genuine  Remains,  vol.  ii.  p.  190. 

*  The  puisne  judge  was  formerly  called  the  Tell-ciock  ;  as 
supposed  to  be  not  much  employed  with  business  in  the  courts 
he  sat  in,  but  listening  how  the  time  went. 

t  Cant  words  used  by  jugglers,  corrupted  perhaps  from  hie  est 
doctior. 

t  Mr.  Butler  served  some  years  as  a  clerk  to  a  justice.  The 
person  who  employed  him  was  an  able  magistrate,  and  respec- 
table character:  but  in  that  situation  he  might  have  had  an  op- 
portunity of  making  himself  acquainted  with  the  practice  of  tra- 
iini;  justices. 

^  Did  not  If  vy  the  penalty  fcr  a  nuisance,  but  took  a  coinpo 
•ition  i?  private. 


Cakto  111.]  IIUDIIJRAS.  461 

Tlio  kennel,  and  the  king's  liigh  wav.  G05 

For  being  unmolested,  pay  ; 

Let  out  the  stocks  and  wliipping-post, 

And  cage,  to  those  that  gave  liim  most ; 

Inipos'd  a  tax  on  bakers'  cars,* 

And  for  false  weights  on  chandelers  ;  f.  0 

Made  victuallers  and  vintners  fine 

For  arbitrary  ale  and  wine  :t 

But  was  a  kind  and  constant  friend 

To  all  that  regularly  offend : 

As  residentiary  bawds,  61J 

And  brokers  that  receive  stol'n  goods  ; 

That  cheat  in  lawful  mysteries, 

And  pay  church-duties,  and  his  fees  \ 

But  was  implacable  and  awkward, 

To  all  that  interlop'd  and  liawker'd.t  S20 

To  this  brave  man  the  Knight  repairs 
For  counsel  in  his  law-affairs. 
And  found  him  mounted  in  his  pew, 
With  books  and  money  plac'd  for  shew, 
Like  nest-eggs  to  make  clients  lay,  625 

And  for  his  false  opinion  pay  : 
To  whom  the  Knight,  with  comely  grace, 
Put  off  his  hat  to  put  his  case  ; 
Wliich  he  as  proudly  entertain'd. 
As  til'  other  courteously  strain'd  ;  630 

And,  to  assure  him  'twas  not  that 
He  look'd  for,  bid  him  put  on's  hat. 

Quoth  he.  There  is  one  Sidrophcl 
Whom  I  liave  cudgell'd — Very  well — 
And  now  he  brags  to  have  beaten  me —  635 

Better  and  better  still,  quoth  he — 
And  vows  to  stick  me  to  the  wall. 
Where'er  he  meets  me — Best  of  all. 


•  That  is,  commuted  the  pillory  for  a  mulct  at  his  own  dis- 
cretion. Libanius  has  an  entire  oration  against  an  arbitrary  law 
of  the  magistrates  of  Anlioch,  which  obliged  the  country  bakers, 
when  lliey  brought  bread  into  the  city  for  sale,  to  load  back  with 
rubbish. 

t  For  selling  ale  or  wine  without  license,  or  l)y  less  than  th« 
statutable  measure.  So  iMr.  liutler  says  of  liis  justice,  Remains, 
vol.  ii.  p.  li)l.  "  lie  does  his  country  signal  service  in  the  judi- 
"cious  and  mature  legitimation  of  tippling-htmses;  that  the  sub- 
"jcct  be  not  imposed  upon  with  illegal  and  arbitrary  ale." 

t  Travelling  dealers,  who  did  not  keep  any  regular  shou- 
"He  is  very  severe  to  hawkers  and  interlopers,  who  coinni.'l 
"  iniquity  on  tlie  bye."  See  Remain'-^,  where  the  reader  may  6n<) 
other  strokes  of  character  similar  to  those  here  mentioned. 


.,i2  HL'DIQIIAS.  [Fart  ui 

'Tis  true  tlie  knave  has  taken  's  ou.h 

That  I  robh'd  liim— Well  done,  iu  trotli.  640 

Wlien  he  'as  coufess'd  he  stole  my  cloak, 

And  pick'd  my  fob,  and  what  lie  took  ; 

Which  was  the  cause  that  made  me  bang  hin), 

And  take  my  goods  anrain — Marry,*  liang  him. 

Now,  whether  I  sliould  before-hand,  645 

Swear  he  robb'd  me  ? — 1  understand, 

Or  bring  my  action  of  conversion 

And  trover  for  my  goods  ?t — Ah,  whoreson  1 

Or,  if  'tis  better  to  endite, 

And  bring  him  to  his  trial  ? — Right.  650 

Prevent  what  he  designs  to  do. 

And  swear  for  tli'  state  against  him  ?} — True 

Or  whether  he  that  is  defendant, 

In  this  case,  has  the  better  end  on  't  ; 

Who,  putting  in  a  new  cross-bill,  655 

May  traverse  tii'  action  ? — Better  still. 

Then  there  's  a  lady  too — Aye,  marry. 

That's  easily  prov'd  accessary  ; 

A  widow,  who  by  solemn  vows. 

Contracted  to  me  for  my  spouse,  .  66« 

Combin'd  with  him  to  break  her  word. 

And  has  abetted  all — Good  Lord  ! 

iSuborn'd  th'  aforesaid  Sidrophel 
To  tamper  with  the  dev'l  of  hell, 

\Vho  put  m'  into  a  horrid  fear,  66S 

Fear  of  my  life — Make  that  appear. 

Made  an  assault  with  fiends  and  men 

Upon  my  body — Good  agen. 

And  kept  me  in  a  deadly  fright. 

And  false  imjirisonment,  all  night.  670 

Mean  while  they  robb'd  me,  and  my  horse. 

And  stole  my  &.'.ddle — Worse  and  worse. 

And  made  me  mount  upon  the  bare  ridge. 

T'  avoid  a  wretcheder   aiscarriage. 

Sir,  quoth  the  Lawyer,  not  to  flatter  ye,  075 

Vou  have  as  good  and  fair  a  battery 


♦  Marry,  i.  e.  ver>-  oi  truly,  an  advert)  of  asseveration.  Ains- 
worlh  thinks  it  a  kind  of  oath,  as  if  per  Mariaiii — A  kind  of  ex- 
pletive without  much  meaning,  tlioujih  i)erhai)S  the  petlifoggci 
might  wish  tube  arch  on  the  word  marry. 

t  An  action  of  trover  is  an  action  brought  for  irecovery  of  a 
man's  goods,  when  wrongfully  detained  by  another,  and  con- 
verted to  liis  own  use. 

X  Swear  that  a  crime  was  committed  by  him  against  th( 
^nblic  peace,  or  peace  of  the  state 


Canto  hi.]  IIUUIBRAS.  4r.3 

As  licart  can  wish,  and  nocd  not  sliame 

Tlio  j)roii(k'st  man  alive  to  claim: 

For  if  til'  liave  us'd  you  as  you  say, 

Marry,  quoth  I,  God  give  you  joy  ;  680 

I  wou'd  it  were  my  case,  I'd  give 

More  tlian  I'll  say,  or  you'll  believe : 

I  wou'd  so  trounce  her,  and  her  purse, 

I'd  make  her  kneel  for  better  or  worse  ; 

For  matrimony,  and  lianging  here,  685 

Both  go  by  destiny  so  clear,* 

That  you  as  sure  may  pick  and  choose. 

As  cross  I  win,  and  pile  you  lose : 

And  if  I  durst,  I  wou'd  advance 

As  much  in  ready  maintenance,!  690 

As  ujjon  any  case  I've  known  ; 

But  wo  that  practice  dare  not  own : 

Tlic  law  severely  contrabands 

Our  taking  bus'ncss  oft'  men's  hands  ; 

'Tis  common  barratry,  that  bcarst  695 

Point-blank  an  action  'gainst  our  ears, 

And  crops  them  till  there  is  not  leather, 

To  stick  a  pen  in  left  of  cither  ;§ 

For  which  some  do  the  summer-sault, 

And  o'er  tlio  bar,  like  tumblers,  vault  :||  700 

But  you  may  swear  at  any  rate. 

Things  not  in  nature,  for  the  state  ; 

For  ia  all  courts  of  justice  here 

A  witness  is  not  said  to  swear, 


*  See  P.  ii.  c.  i.  v.  839.  Ames,  in  his  Typognphical  Antiqui- 
ties, first  edition,  p.  157,  mentions  a  book  printed  by  Rot)ert 
Wyer,  1542,  entitled,  Mislery  of  Iniqiiite,  where  we  may  read: 

Trewly  some  men  tliere  l)e 

That  lyve  always  in  f;reat  horroiire, 

And  say  it  gotli  hy  destenye 

To  han^  or  wed,  both  hatli  one  houre  ; 

And  whether  it  l)e,  I  ain  well  sure, 

Hanpyn^'e  is  better  of  the  twain. 

Sooner  done,  and  shorter  payne. 

\  Maintenance  is  the  unlawful  upholding  of  a  cause  or  person, 
or  it  is  tlie  buyins  or  oblaininf;  prclcncieil  rights  to  lands. 

}  Barratry  is  the  coinmon  and  unlawful  stirring  up  of  suits  or 
quarrels,  either  in  court  or  elsewhere. 

^,  Most  editions  read  pin,  but  the  author's  corrected  copy 
Bays  pen ;  it  being  the  custom  of  clerks  in  office,  and  writers,  to 
stick  their  pen  behind  their  ears  when  they  do  not  employ  it  in 
writing. 

II  Summer-sault,  sout)resaut,  throwing  heels  orer  heaiJ,  a  feat 
of  activity  pprfurined  by  tumblers.  When  a  lawyer  has  been 
(guilty  of  luisconiluct.  and  is  not  allowed  to  practise  in  theccurts, 
ae  is  said  to  be  thrown  o\&  the  bar. 


^G4  IILDIBRAS.  ri'AKT  lu. 

But  make  oatli  tliat  is,  in  plain  terms,  705 

To  forge  wliatever  he  affirms. 

I  tiiauk  you,  quotli  liie  Knight,  for  that, 
Because  'tis  to  my  purpose  pal — 
For  justice,  tho'  slie's  painted  hlind, 
Is  to  the  weaker  side  inclin'd,  710 

Like  charity  ;  else  right  and  wrong 
Cou'd  never  hold  it  out  so  long. 
And,  like  blind  fortune,  with  a  sleight, 
Conveys  men's  interest  and  right. 
From  'Stiles's  pocket  into  Nokes's,*  713 

As  easily  as  hocus  pocns  ;t 
Plays  fast  and  loose,  makes  m«n  obnoxious  ; 
And  clear  again,  like  hiccius  doctius. 
Then  whether  you  would  take  her  life, 
Or  but  recover  her  for  your  wife,  720 

Or  be  content  with  what  she  has. 
And  let  all  other  matters  pass. 
The  bus'ness  to  the  law's  alone, t 
The  proof  is  all  it  looks  upon  ; 

And  you  can  want  no  witnesses,  725 

To  swear  to  any  thing  you  please. 
That  hardly  get  their  mere  expenses. 
By  th'  labour  of  their  consciences. 
Or  letting  out  to  hire  their  ears 

To  affidavit  customers,  730 

At  inconsiderable  values, 
To  serve  for  jurymen  or  tales.§ 
Altho'  retain'd  in  th'  liardest  matters 
Of  trustees  and  administrators. 

For  that,  quoth  he,  let  me  alone  ;  735 

We  've  store  of  such,  and  all  our  own. 
Bred  up  and  tutor'd  by  our  teachers, 
Th'  ablest  of  all  conscience-stretchers.|l 

That's  well,  quoth  he,  but  I  should  guess. 
By  weighing  all  advantages,  740 

*  FirtUious  names,  sometimes  used  in  stating  cases,  issuing 
writs,  &c. 

t  Words  profanely  used  by  jugglers,  if  derived,  as  some  sup 
pose,  from  hoc  est  corpus. 

i  A  better  reading  perhaps  is, 

The  bus'ness  to  the  law's  all  one. 

$  Talesmen  are  persons  of  like  rank  and  quality  with  sue 
3f  the  principal  panel   as   do  not  appear,  or  are  challenged;  and 
wlio,  happening  to  be  in  court,  are  taken  to  supply  their  places 
M  iurymen. 

Ij'  Mr.  Downing  and  Stephen  Marshal,  whc  absolved  from  theif 
eatVs  the  prisoners  released  at  Brentford. 


Canto  hi.]  IIUDIBIIAS.  165 

Your  surest  way  is  first  to  pitch 

Oil  Bongey  for  a  water-witch  ;* 

And  when  y'  have  haiig'd  tiie  conjurer, 

Y'  have  time  enough  to  deal  with  her. 

In  til'  int'rini  spare  for  no  trepans,  74S 

To  draw  iier  necls.  into  tlie  bunns  ; 

Ply  her  with  love-letters  and  billets, 

And  bait  'em  well  for  quirks  and  quillets, t 

With  trains  t'  inveigle,  and  surprise 

Her  heedless  answers  and  replies  ;  750 

And  if  she  miss  the  mouse-trap  lines. 

They'll  serve  for  other  by-designs  ; 

And  make  an  artist  understand. 

To  copy  out  her  seal,  or  luiud  ; 

Or  find  void  places  in  the  pai>er,  75f 

To  steal  in  something  to  entrap  her  ; 

Till,  with  her  worldly  goods  and  body. 

Spite  of  her  heart  she  has  indow'd  ye: 

Retain  all  sorts  of  witnesses. 

That  ply  i'  th'  Temple,  under  trees ;  760 

Or  walk  the  round,  with  knights  o'  th'  posts,? 

About  the  cross-legg'd  knights,  their  hosts  ;<j 


*  On  Sidrophel,  the  reputed  conjurer.  The  pnet  calls  him 
Bongey,  from  a  learned  Iriar  of  that  name,  who  lived  in  Oxford 
ahout  the  end  of  the  thirteenth  century,  and  was  deemed  a  con- 
jurer hy  the  common  jieople.  "Tliere  was  likewise  one  mother 
"  Bongey,  who,  in  divers  liooks  set  out  hy  authority,  is  registered 
"  or  chronicled  ky  the  name  of  the  great  witch  of  Rochester." 
(Grey.)  For  a  water-witch  ;  for  one  to  be  tried  by  the  water- 
ordeal,  or  perhaps, 

One  that  toiO  fortunes  by  casting  urine  ; 
or  one  to  whom 

With  urine,  they  flock  for  curing.     P.  ii.  c.  iii.  v.  123 

t  Subtleties.  Shakspeare  frequently  used  the  word  quillet. 
In  the  First  Part  of  Henry  VI.  Act  ii.  the  earl  of  Warwick  says . 

But  in  these  quirks  and  quillets  of  the  law, 
Good  faith,  I  am  no  wiser  than  a  daw 

And  Hamlet  says,  when  conteniplating  the  skull  of  a  lawyer: 

Where  be  his  quiddities  now  1  his  quillets?  his  cases  t 

QniUets,  in  barbarous  Latin,  is  collecta.  [Quibble,  quillet,  quip, 
and  quirk,  have  all  puzzled  the  etymologists,  and  probably  will 
continue  to  do  so ;  there  is  something  in  words  beginning  with 
oit  wondrously  baffling,  as  the  very  instrument  of  the  critic's  la- 
Dors,  a  quill,  possesses  scarcely  a  guess  at  a  derivation.] 

t  Witnesses  who  are  ready  to  swear  any  thing,  whether  true 
or  I'alse. 

^  These  witnesses  frequently  plieil  for  custom  about  the  Tem- 
ple church,  where  are  several  inonunienls  of  knights  templars, 
who  are  there  represen'ed  cross-legged  :  [as  everywhere  else]— 


jfifi  IIUDIBRAS.  [Part  ui 

Or  wait  for  customers  between 

Tlio  pillar-rows  in  Lincoln's-Inn  ; 

Where  vouchers,  forgers,  coinmon-l»ail,  IdS 

And  afTidavit-men  ne'er  fail 

T'  expose  to  sale  all  sorts  of  oaths. 

According  to  their  ears  and  clothes,* 

Their  only  necessary  tools. 

Besides  tho  Gospel,  and  tlieir  souls  ;t  770 

And  when  ye  're  furnish'd  with  all  purveys, 

I  shall  be  ready  at  your  service. 

I  would  not  give,  quoth  Hudibras, 
A  straw  to  understand  a  case, 

Without  the  admirable  skill  775 

To  wind  and  manage  it  at  will  ; 
To  veer,  and  tack,  and  steer  a  cause, 
Against  the  weather-gage  of  laws; 
And  ring  the  changes  upon  cases, 
As  plain  as  noses  upon  faces  ;  780 

As  you  have  well  instructed  nie. 
For  which  you  've  earn'd,  here  'tis,  your  fee. 
I  long  to  practise  your  advice 
And  try  the  subtle  artifice  ; 

To  bait  a  letter  as  you  bid.  785 

As,  not  long  after,  thus  he  did : 
For,  having  pump'd  up  all  his  wit, 
And  hunim'd  upon  it,  thus  he  writ. 

their  host,  because  nobody  pives  them  more  enterlainment  than 
these  kni^'hts,  and  they  :ire  almost  starved. 

*  Lord  Chtrendon,  in  his  History  of  tlie  Rebellion,  vol.  ii.  p 
355,  says,  an  Irishman  of  low  condltitm  and  meanly  clothed,  be- 
ing brouiiht  as  evidence  aKainst  Lord  Str.itford,  Lieutenant  of 
Ireland,  Mr.  Pym  gave  him  money  to  buy  a  satin  snit  and  cloak, 
In  which  equipage  he  appeared  at  the  trial.  The  like  was  prac- 
tised in  the  trial  of  Lord  Slaftiird  fur  the  popish  plot.  See  Carte's 
History  of  the  Life  of  James  Duke  of  Ormonde,  vol.  ii.  p.  517. 
Ills,  I  fear,  sometimes  practised  in  trials  of  less  importance. 

t  When  a  witness  swears  he  holds  the  Gospel  in  his  right 
hand,  and  kisses  it:  the  Gospel  therefore  is  called  his  tool,  bf 
Which  he  damns  his  other  tool,  namely,  his  soul. 


AW  HEROICAL  EPISTLK 


HUDIBRAS  TO  HIS  LADY. 


I  WHO  was  once  as  great  as  Caesar, 

Am  now  reduc'd  to  Nebucliaduezzar  ;* 

And  from  as  fam'd  a  conqueror, 

As  ever  took  degree  in  war, 

Or  did  his  exercise  in  battle,  I 

By  you  tura'd  out  to  grass  with  cattle. 

For  since  I  am  deny'd  access 

To  all  my  earthly  hapjdiiess. 

Am  fall'n  from  the  paradise 

Of  your  good  graces,  and  fair  eyes  ;  10 

Lost  to  the  world,  and  you,  I'm  sent 

To  everlasting  banishment, 

Where  all  the  hopes  I  hud  t'  have  won 

Your  heart,  b'ing  dasii'd,  will  break  my  own. 

Yet  if  you  were  not  so  severe  13 

To  pass  your  doom  before  you  hear. 
You'd  find,  upon  my  just  defence. 
How  much  y'  have  wrong'd  my  innocence. 
That  once  I  made  a  vow  to  you. 
Which  yet  is  unperform'd  'tis  true ;  80 

But  not  because  it  is  unpaid 
'Tis  violated,  though  delay'd. 
Or  if  it  were,  it  is  no  fault 
So  lieinous,  as  you'd  have  it  thought ; 
To  undergo  the  loss  of  ears,  85 

Like  vulgar  liackney  perjurers  ; 

*  See  Dan.  iv.  32,  33. 

Camiina  qui  quondam  studio  florente  peregi 
Flebilis  heu  miorsids  coiror  inire  iiiodos. 

Boethius  tie  Consul.  Philosoph. 


168  HllDIBRAS  TO  HIS  LADY 

For  there's  a  difference  in  tlie  case, 

Between  the  noble  and  the  base  ; 

Who  always  are  observ'd  to  've  done  't 

Upon  as  diff'rent  an  acconnt ;  V 

Tlie  one  for  jjrcat  and  weijjhty  cause, 

To  salve  in  honour  ugly  flaws; 

For  none  are  like  to  do  it  sooner 

Than  those  who  are  nicest  of  their  houtur; 

Tlio  other,  for  base  gain  and  pay,  35 

Forswear  and  perjure  by  the  day, 

And  make  tli'  exposing  and  retailing 

Their  souls,  and  consciences,  a  calling. 

It  is  no  scandal  nor  as])ersion. 

Upon  a  great  and  noble  person,  10 

To  say,  he  nat'rally  abhorr"d 

Th'  old-fashion'd  trick,  to  keep  his  word, 

Tho'  'tis  perfidiousness  and  shame, 

In  meaner  men  to  do  the  same : 

For  to  bo  able  to  forget,  45 

Is  found  more  useful  to  the  great 

Than  gout,  or  doafue.ss,  or  bad  eyes. 

To  make  them  pass  for  wond'rous  wise. 

But  tho'  the  law,  on  perjurers. 

Inflicts  the  forfeiture  of  ears,  50 

It  is  not  just,  that  does  e.\emi)t 

The  guilty,  and  punish  the  innocent.* 

To  make  the  ears  repair  the  wrong 

Committed  by  th'  uugovi-rn'd  tongue  ; 

And  when  one  member  is  forsworn,  :i5 

Another  to  bo  cropp'd  or  torn. 

And  if  you  slion'd,  as  you  design. 

By  course  of  law,  recover  mine. 

You  're  like,  if  you  consider  right, 

To  gain  but  little  honour  by  't.  60 

For  lie  that  for  his  lady's  sake 

Lays  down  his  lifC;  or  limbs,  at  stake, 

Does  not  so  much  deserve  her  favour. 

As  he  that  pawns  his  soul  to  have  her. 

This  y'  have  acknowledg'd  I  have  done,  85 

Altho'  you  now  disdain  to  own  ; 

But  sentence  what  you  rather  ought 

T'  esteem  good  service  than  a  fault. t 

Besides,  oaths  are  not  bound  to  bear 


•  A  better  readin?  is — tA'  innocent. 

t  Sentence,  that  is,  conJeiini  or  pass  sentence  upon. 


IIUDIBRAS  TO  HIS  LADY.  4G9 

That  literal  sense  the  words  infer,  70 

But,  by  tiie  practice  of  tlie  age, 

Are  to  bo  judif'd  how  far  th'  engage  ; 

And  where  the  sense  by  custom's  clieckt, 

Are  found  void,  and  of  none  effect, 

For  no  man  takes  or  keeps  u  vow,  75 

But  just  as  he  sees  others  do  ; 

Nor  are  they  obiig'd  to  bo  so  brittle. 

As  not  to  yield  and  bow  a  little  : 

For  as  best  temper'd  blades  are  found, 

Before  they  break,  to  bend  quite  round  ;  SO 

So  truest  oaths  are  still  most  tougti. 

And,  tho'  they  bow,  are  breaking  proof. 

Then  wherefore  should  they  not  b'  allow'd 

In  love  a  greater  latitude?* 

For  as  the  law  of  arms  approves  85 

All  ways  to  conquest,!  so  sliou'd  love'b  ; 

And  not  be  ty'd  to  true  or  false. 

But  make  that  justest  that  prevails: 

For  how  can  that  which  is  above 

All  empire,  high  and  mighty  love,t  90 

Submit  its  great  prerogative. 

To  any  other  pow'r  alive? 

Shall  love,  that  to  no  crown  gives  place, 

Become  the  subject  of  a  case  ? 

The  fundamental  law  of  nature,  95 

Be  over-rul'd  by  those  made  after  ? 

Commit  the  censure  of  its  cause 

To  any,  but  its  own  great  laws? 

Love,  that's  tho  world's  preservative. 

That  keeps  all  souls  of  things  alive  ;  100 

Controuls  tho  mighty  pow'r  of  fate. 

And  gives  mankind  a  longer  date  ; 

The  life  of  nature  that  restores 

As  fast  as  time  and  death  devours  ; 

To  whose  free  gift  the  world  does  owe  10! 


•  perjuria  ridet  amantum 

Jupiter,  et  ventos  irrita  ferre  jubot. 

Til),  iii.  El.  VII.  17 

Calliinachus,  Epig.  26. 

Dolus  an  virtus,  quis,  in  hoste,  reqiirit? 

-"Epcuj  il  TWV  dcdiv 


Aid  TOVTOV  CTnopKovai  TOiry  aAAouj  9<o6i. 

Menaad.  Fra^ 


ua 


J70  IIUDIBRAS  TO  HIS  LADY. 

Not  only  earth,  but  heaven  too  :* 

For  love's  the  only  trade  that's  driven, 

The  interest  of  state  in  heav"n,t 

Which  nothing  but  the  soul  of  man 

Is  capable  to  entertain. 

For  what  can  earth  produce,  but  love, 

To  represent  the  joys  above  ? 

Or  who  but  lovers  can  converse, 

Like  angels  by  the  eye-discourse? 

Address,  and  compliment  by  vision,  ,115 

Make  love,  and  court  by  intuition  ? 

And  burn  in  am'rous  flames  as  fierce, 

As  those  celestial  ministers  i 

Then  how  can  any  tiling  offend, 

In  order  to  so  great  an  end  ?  120 

Or  heav'n  itself  a  sin  resent. 

That  for  its  own  supply  was  meant? 

That  merits,  in  a  kind  mistake, 

A  pardon  for  th'  offence's  sake  ? 

Or  if  it  did  not,  but  the  cause  1^3 

Were  left  to  tli'  injury  of  laws, 

Wliat  tyranny  can  disapprove. 

There  should  be  equity  in  love  ? 

For  laws,  that  are  inanimate. 

And  feel  no  sense  of  love  or  hate,t  13C 

That  have  no  passion  of  their  own. 

Nor  pity  to  be  wrouglit  upon, 

Are  only  proper  to  inflict 

Revenge  on  criminals  as  strict. 

But  to  have  power  to  forgive,  13; 

Is  empire  and  prerogative  ; 

And  'tis  in  crowns  a  nobler  gem    ' 

To  grant  a  pardon,  than  condemn. 


*      Qu£E  mare  navigeruin,  quae  terras  frugiferentes 

CDiicelehras  ;  per  le  qiioiiUini  •reims  omne  animannm 
Concipilur,  visitque  exortiiiii  luinina  solis. 

Lucret.  i.  3. 

Que  quoniam  renim  tiaturam  sola  gubcrnas, 
Nee  sine  le  quicquam  (iias  in  luininis  oras 
Exoritur,  nenue  lit  la;lum,  neque  amabile  quicquain. 

Idem, :.  22. 
T  Waller  says : 

All  lliat  we  know  of  those  above, 
is,  that  they  live  and  that  they  love 
vOnr  Saviour  says,  "Sutter  the  little  children  to  come  unto  me, 
for  of  such  is  the  kingdom  of  heaven." 

i  Aristotle  defined   law  to  be,  reason  without  passion  ;  and 
despotism  or  arbitrary  power  to  bo,  passion  without  reason 


ilUDIBilAS  TO  HIS  LADY.  471 

Then,  since  so  few  do  wlint  they  ought, 

*Tis  great  t'  iudulgo  a  well-meaat  fault ;  140 

For  wliy  should  he  \Yho  made  address. 

All  humble  ways,  without  success  ; 

And  met  with  nothing  in  return 

But  insolence,  alTronts,  and  scorn. 

Not  strive  by  wit  to  counter-mine,  145 

And  bravely  carry  his  design  ? 

He  who  was  us'd  so  unlike  a  soldier, 

Blown  up  with  philters  of  love-powder 

And  after  letting  blood,  and  purging, 

Condemn'd  to  voluntary  scourgng;  150 

Alarm'd  with  many  a  horrid  fright, 

And  claw'd  by  goblins  in  the  night  ; 

Insulted  on,  revil'd  and  jeer'd, 

With  rude  invasion  of  his  beard  ; 

And  when  your  sex  was  foully  scandal'd,  153 

As  foully  by  the  rabble  handled; 

Attack'd  by  despicable  foes. 

And  drubb'd  with  mean  and  vulgar  blows; 

And,  after  all,  to  be  debarr'd 

So  much  as  standing  on  his  guard  ;  60 

Wlien  horses  being  spurr'd  and  prick'd 

Have  leave  to  kick  for  being  kick'd? 

Or  why  should  you,  whose  mother-wits* 
Are  funiisird  with  all  perquisites; 
That  with  your  breeding  teeth  begin,  ^65 

And  nursing  babies  that  lie  in  ; 
B'  allow'd  to  put  all  tricks  upon 
Our  cully  sex,  and  we  use  none  ? 
U'e,  who  have  nothing  but  frail  vows 
Against  your  stratagems  t'  ojjpose  ;  !70 

Or  oaths,  more  feeble  than  your  own, 
By  which  we  are  no  less  put  down?t 
Vou  wound,  like  Parthiuns,  while  you  fly. 
And  kill  with  a  retreating  eye  ;t 
Retire  the  more,  the  more  wo  press,  175 


*  Why  should  you,  who  were  sharp  and  witty  from  your  in- 
fancy, who  liied  wit  with  your  teeth,  ice. 

t  That  is,  liy  which  oaths  of  yours  we  are  no  less  subdued 
Ihan  by  your  slralageiiis. 
t        Fidentenique  fuga  Parthum  versisqne  sagittis. 

Virg.  Georg.  iii.  31 
The  Parthians  had  the  art  of  shooting  their  arrows  l-chiad 
hem,  and  making  their  flight  more  destructive  to  the  enemy 
ihaa  Iheir  attack.    Seneca  says : 

Terga  conversi  metuenda  Parthi. 
40 


472  IIUDIBRAS  TO  HIS  LADY. 

To  draw  us  into  ambushes: 
xA.s  pirates  ail  false  coloui-s  wear 

T'  intrap  tli'  unwary  mariner  ; 

So  women,  to  surprise  us,  spread 

The  borrow'd  Hags  of  white  and  red  ;  180 

Display  'em  thicker  on  their  cheeks, 

Than  their  old  grand-mot liers,  the  Picts ; 

And  raise  more  devils  with  their  looks, 

Than  conjurers'  less  subtle  booRs  : 

Lay  trains  of  amorous  intrigues,  lOS 

Li  tow'rs,  and  curls,  and  periwigs,* 
.^^With  greater  art  and  cunning  rear'd, 

Tiian  Philip  Nye's  thanksgiving  beard  :t 

Prepost'rously  t'  entice  and  gain 

Those  to  adore  'em  they  disdain ;  190 

And  only  draw  'em  in  to  clog, 

With  idle  names,  a  catalogue.! 

A  lover  is,  the  more  he's  brave, 

T'  his  mistress  but  the  more  a  slave  ;§ 

*        tanta  est  quaerendi  cura  decoris 

Tot  pretnit  ordinilius,  lot  adhuc  compaiiihus  ahum 

iEdificat  caput.    Andromachen  a  fronte  videbis 

Post  minor  est. Juvenal,  vi.  500 

If  we  may  jud?e  by  figures  on  the  imperial  coins,  even  the 
most  expert  of  modern  hair-dressers  are  far  inferior  in  their  busi- 
ness to  the  ancients. 

t  Nye  first  entered  at  Brazen-nose  collece,  Oxford,  and  after- 
wards'renioved  to  RIapdalen  hull.  He  took  his  degrees,  and  then 
went  to  Holland.  In  1640  he  returned  lionie  a  furious  Presby- 
terian;  and  was  sent  to  Scotland  to  forward  the  covenant.  lie 
then  became  a  strenuous  preacher  on  the  side  of  the  Independ- 
ents: was  put  into  Dr.  Feally's  living  at  Acton,  and  went  there 
every  Sunday  in  a  coach  with  four  horses.  He  opposed  Lilly 
the  astrologer  with  great  violence,  and  for  this  service  was  re- 
warded with  the  office  of  holding  forth  upon  thanksgiving  days 
Wherefore 

He  thought  upon  it,  and  resolv'd  to  put 
His  beard  into  as  wonderful  a  cut. 

Butler's  MS. 

Phis  preacher's  beard  is  honored  with  an  entire  poem  in  But 

.«r's  Genuine  Remains,  published  byThyer,  vol.i.  p.  177.  When 

.he  head  of  a  celebrated  C(«irt  chaplain  and  preacher  had  been 

dressed  in  a  superior  style,  the  friseur  exclaimed,  with  a  mixture 

of  admiration  and  self-applause,  "  I'll  be  hanged  if  any  person 

of  taste  can  attend  to  one  word  of  the  sermon  to-day." 

+  To  increase  the  list  of  their  disrarded  suitors. 

^  The  poet  may  here   possibly  allude   to  some  well-known 

tliaracters  of  his  time.     "The  Lady  Dysert  cai:^e  to  have  so 

'  nuicli  power  over  the  Lord  Lauderdale,  that  it  lessened  him 

very  much  in  the  esteem  of  all  the  world;  for  he  delivered 

liimself  up  to  all  her  humors  and  passions."    Burnet's  History 

fOl.  i.  p.  244.  Anne  Clarges,  at  first  the  niisiress,  and  afterwards 

the  wife  of  General  Monk,  duke  of  Albemarle,  gained  the  most 


IIUDIBRAS  TO  HIS  LADV.  473 

And  whatsoever  she  commands,  105 

Bsconies  a  favour  from  her  liands, 

Whicli  he's  obliir'd  t'  obey,  and  must, 

Wliether  it  be  unjust  or  just. 

Tlicn  wlieu  he  is  compell'd  by  lier 

T'  adventures  he  wou'd  else  forbear,  200 

Who,  witli  liis  honour,  can  witlistand, 

Since  force  is  greater  than  command? 

And  when  necessity's  obey'd. 

Nothing  can  bo  unjust  or  bad  :* 

\nd  tiierefore,  wlien  tiie  mighty  pow'rs  205 

Of  love,  our  great  ally,  and  yours, 

Join'd  forces  not  to  be  withstood 

By  fvail  enamour'd  flesii  and  blood. 

All  I  iiave  done,  unjust  or  ill. 

Was  in  obedience  to  your  will,  310 

And  all  the  blame  that  can  be  due 

Falls  to  your  cruelty,  and  you. 

Nor  are  those  scandals  I  confest, 

Against  my  will  and  interest. 

More  than  is  daily  done,  of  course,  215 

By  air  men,  when  they  're  under  force : 

Whence  some,  upon  the  rack,  confess 

What  th'  ii-angman  and  their  prompters  please  ; 

But  are  no  sooner  out  of  pain, 

Than  they  deny  it  all  again.  220 

But  when  the  devil  turns  confessor,t 

Truth  is  a  crime,  he  takes  no  pleasure 

To  hear  or  pardon,  like  tlis  founder 

Of  liars,  whom  they  all  claim  under  :t 

And  therefore  when  I  told  him  none,  225 


nndue  influence  over  that  intrepid  cnniniander.    Thonch  nevel 
afraid  of  bullets,  he  was  often  terrified  liy  the  ftiry  of  his  wife. 
*  Necessitas  non  ha()ct  legem,  is  a  known  proverb. 

^tivfii  avdyKTig  ov6iy  laxvct  nXiov  ;  Eiiripidis  Helena. 
Pareatur  necessitali,  quam  ne  dii  qiiidcm  superant. — Livy. 
1   Suppose  we  read: 

when  a  devil  turns  confessor. 

t  See  St.  John,  ch.  viii.  v.  44.    Butler  ia  his  MS.  Cummoo 
place  book,  says: 

As  lyars,  with  Ion?  use  of  telling  lyes, 

Forji'et  at  length  if  ihey  are  line  or  filse, 

So  those  that  plod  on  any  thing  loo  Inni; 

Know  notliing  whether  ih'  are  in  the  right  or  wrong, 

for  what  are  all  your  deninnslrations  els;*, 

Bui  to  the  higher  powers  of  sense  ap|)cals; 

Senses  tliat  ih'  undervalue  ami  contemn 

As  if  it  lay  below  their  wits  and  them 


474  HUDIBRAS  TO  HIS  LADY. 

I  tliink  it  was  the  wiser  done. 

Nor  am  I  without  precedent, 

Tlie  first  that  on  th'  adventure  went; 

All  mankind  ever  did  of  course, 

And  daily  does  the  same,  or  worse.  SSt 

For  what  romance  can  shew  a  lover, 

That  had  a  lady  to  recover. 

And  did  not  steer  a  nearer  course, 

To  fall  aboard  in  his  amours? 

And  wliat  at  first  was  held  a  crime,  83S 

Has  turn'd  to  hon'rable  in  time. 

To  what  a  height  did  infant  Rome, 
By  ravishing  of  women,  come  ?* 
When  men  upon  their  spouses  seiz'd. 
And  freely  marry'd  where  they  pleas'd,  240 

They  ne'er  forswore  themselves,  nor  ly'd, 
Nor,  in  the  mind  they  were  in,  dy"d  ; 
Nor  took  the  pains  t'  address  and  sue, 
Nor  play'd  the  masquerade  to  woo: 
Disdain'd  to  stay  for  friends'  consents,  245 

Nor  juggled  about  settlements  ; 
Did  need  no  licence,  nor  no  priest, 
Nor  friends,  nor  kindred,  to  assist ; 
Nor  lawyers,  to  join  land  and  money 
In  the  holy  state  of  matrimony,  25% 

Before  they  settled  hands  and  hearts, 
Till  alimony  or  death  departs  ;t 
Nor  wou'd  endure  to  stay,  until 
Th'  had  got  the  very  bride's  good-will, 
But  took  a  wise  and  shorter  course  255 

To  win  the  ladies — downright  force  ; 
And  justly  made  'em  prisoners  then, 
As  they  have,  often  since,  us  men, 
With  acting  plays,  and  dancing  jigs,t 


*  Florus  says  that  Romulus,  wanting  inhriliitants  for  his  new 
city,  erected  an  asylum  or  sancluiiry  for  roliliois  in  a  neightjor- 
hig  grove,  and  presently  lie  liad  people  in  ai)undance.  But  this 
was  a  people  only  for  an  a;.'e,  a  colony  only  of  males,  therefore 
Ihey  had  still  to  su|ii)Iy  itiemselves  with  wives,  and  not  olilain- 
Ing  tiiein  from  tlieir  neiglibors  on  a  civil  applicauon,  they  IooIj 
lliem  by  force. 

t  Thus  printed  in  some  editions  of  the  Prayer  Boolf,  after- 
wards altered,  ""till  dealh  us  do  part,"  as  mentioned  in  a  for- 
mer note.  Suppose  we  here  read,  according  to  some  e(5tions, 
'Till  alimony,  or  death  t/tem  parts. 

i  Simulatis  nuippe  ludis  eiiuestribus,  virgines,  qum  ad  specta- 
culum  vcnerant,  pra'da  fuere.  Pretending  to  exiiibit  some  fine 
■bows  and  diversions,  they  drew  together  a  concourse  of  young 
woinea,  and  seized  them  fur  their  wives. 


HUDIBRA.S  TO  HIS  LADY.  475 

The  uckiest  of  all  love's  intritrnes  ;  260 

And  when  tliey  had  llieni  at  their  pleasure, 

They  talk'd  oi'  lovo  and  Humes  at  leisure  ; 

For  after  matrimony's  over, 

He  that  holds  out  but  half  a  lover. 

Deserves,  for  ev'ry  minute,  more  2fa 

Thau  half  a  year  of  lovo  before  ; 

For  which  the  dames,  in  contemplation 

Of  that  best  way  of  application, 

Prov'd  nobler  wives  than  e'er  were  known, 

By  suit,  or  treaty,  to  bo  won  ;*  270 

And  such  as  all  posterity 

Con'd  never  equal,  nnr  come  nigh. 

For  women  first  were  made  for  men. 
Not  men  for  them. — It  follows,  then, 
That  men  have  right  to  every  one,  275 

And  they  no  freedom  of  their  own  ; 
And  therefore  men  have  pow'r  to  chuse, 
But  they  no  charter  to  refuse. 
Hence  'tis  apparent  that  what  cour.se 
Soe'cr  we  take  to  your  amours,  280 

Thoufrh  by  the  indircctest  way, 
'Tis  not  injustice  nor  foul  play  ; 
And  that  you  ought  to  take  that  course 
As  we  take  you,  for  better  or  worse. 
And  gratefully  submit  to  those  885 

Who  you,  before  another,  chose. 
For  why  shou'd  ev'ry  savage  beast 
E.Kceed  his  great  lord's  interest?! 
Have  freer  pow'r  than  he,  in  grace, 
And  nature,  o'er  the  creature  has?  290 

Because  the  laws  he  since  has  made 
Have  cut  off  all  the  pow'r  he  had  ; 
Retrench'd  the  absolute  dominion 
That  nature  gave  him  over  women  ; 
When  all  his  pow'r  will  not  extend  293 

One  law  of  nature  to  suspend  ; 


*  \'\'hen  me  Sabine?  came  with  a  large  army  to  demand  theii 
ilaughters,  and  the  Iwo  nations  were   preparing  to  decide  the 
matter  hy  fight,  siHvientibtis  intervenere  raptin,  laceris  comis— 
the  women  who  had  been  carried  away  ran  between  the  ariniei 
Rith  expressions  of  grief,  and  etTected  a  reconciliation, 
t  That  is,  man,  sometimes  called  lord  of  the  world  : 
Man  of  all  creatures  the  most  fierce  and  wild 
That  ever  (.'oil  niade  er  tb.e  devil  spoil'd: 
Tiio  most  cour.i^jcoiis  of  men,  by  wan:, 
As  well  -43  honor,  are  made  valiant.  Butler  s  MS 


476  IIUUIBRAS  fO  HIS  LADY. 

And  but  to  ofFer  to  repeal 

The  smallest  clause,  is  to  repel. 

Tliis,  if  men  rigl.tly  understood 

Their  privilege,  they  would  make  good,  30fl 

And  not,  like  sots,  permit  their  wives 

T'  encroach  on  their  prerogatives, 

For  which  sin  they  deserve  to  be 

Kept,  as  they  ar;,  in  slavery: 

And  this  some  precious  gifted  teachers,*  303 

Unrev'rently  reputed  leachers, 

And  dispbey'd  in  making  iove, 

Have  vow'd  to  all  the  world  to  prove. 

And  make  ye  suffer  as  you  ought, 

For  that  uncharitable  fault :  3i0 

But  I  forget  myself,  and  rove 

Beyond  th'  instructions  of  my  love. 

Forgive  me,  Fair,  and  only  blame 
Th'  extravagancy  of  my  flame, 

Since  'tis  too  much,  at  once  to  show  315 

Excess  of  love  and  temper  too  ; 
All  I  have  said  that's  bad  and  true, 
Was  never  meant  to  aim  at  you, 
Who  have  so  sov"reign  a  controul 
O'er  that  poor  slave  of  yours,  my  soul,  328 

That,  rather  than  to  forfeit  you, 
Has  ventur'd  loss  of  heav'n  too  ; 
Both  with  au  equal  pow"r  possest. 
To  render  all  that  serve  you  blest ; 
But  none  like  him,  who's  destin'd  either  325 

To  have  or  lose  you  both  together ; 
And  if  you'll  but  this  fault  release, 
For  so  it  must  be,  since  you  please, 
I'll  pay  down  all  that  vow,  and  more, 
Which  you  commanded,  and  I  swore,  330 

And  expiate,  upon  my  skin, 
Th'  arrears  in  full  of  all  my  sin  : 
For  'tis  but  just  that  I  should  pay 
Th'  accruing  penance  for  delay. 
Which  shall  be  done,  until  it  move  13J 

Your  equal  pity  and  your  love. 

The  Knight,  perusing  this  Epistle, 
Believ'd  he  'ad  brought  her  to  his  whistle  ; 
And  read  it,  like  a  jocund  lover. 
With  great  applause,  t'  himself,  twice  over ;  34C 

*  Mr.  Case,  as  some  have  supposed,  but,  according  to  others 
ur.  Bargcss,  or  Hugh  Peters. 


IIUDII/RAS  TO  Ills  LADY.  477 

Subscrih'd  liis  name,  but  at  a  fit 

And  liuniblo  distance,  to  his  wit : 

And  dated  it  with  wondrous  art, 

Giv'n  from  tlie  bottom  of  liis  heart ; 

Tlicn  seal'd  it  with  his  coat  of  love,  3^5 

A  sir.okin<j  faggot — and  fil'ovo 

Upon  a  scroll — I  burn,  and  weep — 

And  near  it — For  her  ladyship, 

Of  all  her  sex  most  excellent. 

These  to  her  gentle  hands  present*  3oO 

Then  gave  it  to  his  faithful  squire, 

With  lessons  how  t'  observe,  and  eye  her. 

She  first  consider'd  which  was  better, 
To  send  it  back,  or  burn  the  letter : 
But  guessing  that  it  might  in)port,  355 

The'  nothing  else,  at  least  her  sj)ort. 
She  oi)en"d  it,  and  read  it  out. 
With  many  a  smile  and  leering  flout : 
Resolv'd  to  answer  it  in  kind, 
And  thus  perforra'd  what  she  desigii'd.  360 


•  It  was  Cishionrible  hefnro  Mr.  Bailor's  lime  to  be  prolix  in 
tfio  superscription  of  leiiers  Ci)iiiin(ii)  fD.riis  were, — To  my 
umch  lM)iiored  friend — To  the  most  exce'li,'  t  lady — To  my  lev- 
Ins  '■''OUiin — Tl\esc  iircsent  with  carti  ano  ri'ccd,  io 


TUE 

LADY'S    ANSWER 

TO    TDE 

KNIGHT. 

That  you  're  a  beast  and  turn'd  to  grass, 

Is  no  strange  news,  nor  ever  was  ; 

At  least  to  me,  who  once,  5-ou  know, 

Did  from  the  pound  replevin  you,* 

When  both  your  sword  and  spurs  were  wou  S 

In  combat,  liy  an  Amazon  ; 

That  sword  that  did,  like  fate,  determine 

Til'  inevitable  death  of  vermin, 

And  never  dealt  its  furious  blows, 

But  cut  the  throats  of  pigs  and  cows,  10 

By  Trulla  was,  in  single  fight, 

Disarm'd  and  wrested  from  its  Knight, 

Your  heels  degraded  of  your  spurs, 

And  in  the  stocks  close  prisoners  : 

Where  still  they  'd  lain,  in  base  restraint,  IS 

If  I,  in  pity  of  your  complaint, 

Had  not,  on  honorable  conditions, 

Releast  'em  from  the  worse  of  prisons  ; 

And  what  return  that  favour  met, 

You  cannot,  tho'  you  wou'd,  forget ;  SO 

When  being  free,  you  strove  t'  e.ade, 

The  oaths  you  had  in  prison  made  ; 

Forswore  yourself,  and  first  deny'd  it, 

But  after  own'd,  and  juslify'd  it: 

And  when  y'  had  falsely  broke  one  vow,  25 

Absolv'd  yourself,  by  breakiug  two. 

For  while  yon  sneakingly  submit. 

And  beg  for  pardon  at  our  feet  ;t 

*  A  replevin  is  a  rc-detiveranre  of  the  thing  distrained,  tc  re- 
tfiain  with  the  firsit  possessor  on  security. 

t  Tlie  willow,  to  keep  up  lier  di-.'nity.'and  iinporiance,  speaks 
i^  herself  in  the  plural  number 


THE  LADY'S  ANSWER.  479 

Discourag'd  by  your  guilty  fears, 

To  hope  for  quarler,  for  your  ears ;  30 

And  doubting  'twas  in  vain  to  sue, 

You  claim  us  boldly  as  your  due, 

Declare  that  treachery  and  force. 

To  deal  with  us,  is  th'  only  course  : 

Wo  have  no  title  nor  pretence  3' 

To  body,  soul,  or  conscience, 

But  ought  to  fall  to  that  man's  share 

That  claims  us  for  his  proper  ware  : 

These  are  the  motives  which,  t'  induce, 

Or  fright  us  into  love,  you  uss  ;  40 

A  pretty  new  way  of  gallanting. 

Between  soliciting  and  ranting  ; 

Like  sturdy  beggars,  that  intreat 

For  charity  at  once,  and  threat. 

But  since  you  undertake  to  prove  45 

Your  own  propriety  in  love. 

As  if  we  were  but  lawful  prize 

lu  war,  between  two  enemies. 

Or  forfeitures  which  ev'ry  lover. 

That  would  but  sue  for,  might  recover,  50 

It  is  not  hard  to  understand 

The  myst'ry  of  this  bold  demand. 

That  cannot  at  our  persons  aim, 

But.  something  capable  of  claim.* 

^Tis  not  those  paltry  counterfeit,  55 

French  stones,  which  in  our  eyes  you  set, 
But  our  right  diamonds,  that  ins])ire 
And  set  your  am'rous  hearts  on  tire  ; 
Nor  can  those  false  St.  Martin's  beadst 
Which  on  our  lips  you  lay  for  reds,  60 

And  make  us  wear  like  Indian  dames,t 
Add  fuel  to  your  scorching  flumes. 
But  those  two  rubies  of  the  rock 
Which  in  our  cabinets  we  lock. 
'Tis  not  those  orient  pearls,  our  teeth, §  65 


*  Their  property. 

t  Th;it  is,  artificial  jewels.  How  they  came  to  be  called  Saint 
Martin's  beads  I  know  not;  unless  fnnii  St.  Martino  near  mount 
Vesuvius,  where  the  ejected  lava  is  collected  and  applied  to  this 
purpose.  Mr.  Monta;;ue  Bacon  says,  that  at  Rochelle,  not  far 
from  St.  Jlaitin's,  there  is  a  sort  of  red  stones  called  St.  Martin's 
beads. 

X  female  savages  in  many  parts  of  the  plobe  wear  ornaments 
of  fish  bone,  or  glass  when  they  can  get  it,  oil  their  lips  and 
Doses. 

§  In  the  Historj'  of  Don  Tenise.a  romance  translated  fromtlM 


4gO  THE  LAi  V'8  ANSWER. 

That  you  are  so  transported  with, 
But  those  we  wear  about  our  necks, 
Produce  tliose  amorous  effects. 
Nor  is  't  those  threads  of  gold,  our  hair, 
Tlie  periwigs  you  make  us  wear ;  71 

But  these  briglit  guineas  in  our  ciiests, 
That  light  the  wildfire  in  your  breasts. 
.^Tliese  love-tricks  I've  been  vers'd  in  so, 
That  all  their  sly  intrigues  I  know, 
And  can  unriddle,  by  their  tones,  73 

Their  mystic  cabals,  and  jargones  ; 
Can  tell  what  passions,  by  their  sounds, 
Pine  for  the  beauties  of  my  grounds; 
What  raptures  fond  and  amorous, 
O"  th'  charms  and  graces  of  my  house  ;  80 

What  extasy  and  scorching  flame. 
Burns  for  my  money  in  my  name  ; 
What  from  Ih'  unnatural  desire. 
To  beasts  and  cattle,  takes  its  fire  ; 
What  tender  sigh,  and  trickling  tear,  85 

Longs  for  a  thousand  pounds  a  year  ; 
And  languishing  transports  are  fond 
Of  statute,  mortgage,  bill,  and  bond.* 

These  are  th'  attracts  which  most  men  fall 
Enamour'd,  at  first  sight,  withal :  9u 

To  these  th'  address  with  serenades. 
And  court  with  balls  and  masquerades  ; 
And  yet,  for  all  the  yearning  pain 
Ye've  suffer'd  for  their  loves  in  vain, 
I  fear  they'll  prove  so  nice  and  coy,  95 

To  have,  and  t"  hold,  and  to  enjoy ; 


Spanish  of  Francisco  de  las  Coveras,  and  printed  1656,  mentioned 
by  Dr.  Grey,  p.  2G9,  is  tlie  following  passage:  "My  covetous- 
'■ness  exceeding  my  love,  coiiiiselled  nie  that  it  was  better  fc 
"  have  gold  money  than  in  threads  of  hair ;  and  to  possess  pearls 
"  that  resemble  teeth,  than  teeth  that  were  like  pearls." 
In  praising  Chluris,  moons,  and  stars,  and  skies, 
Are  iiuickly  made  to  maich  her  face  and  eyes  ; 
And  gold  and  rubies,  with  as  little  care. 
To  fit  the  colour  of  her  lips  and  hair: 
And  mixing  suns,  and  How'rs,  and  pearl,  and  stones, 
Make  them  serve  all  complections  at  once: 
With  these  fine  fancies  at  hap-hazard  writ, 
1  could  make  verses  without  art  or  wit. 

Butler's  Remains,  v.  i.  p.  SC 
•  Statute  is  a  short  writing  called  Statute  Marchant.or  Statute 
Staple,  in   the  nature  of  a  boml,  &.C.,  made  according  to  the 
form  expressly  jirovided  in  certain  statutes,  5th  Hen.   v.  c.  li 
U)d  others. 


THE  LADY'S  ANSWER.  481 

That  all  your  oatlis  and  labour  lost, 

They'll  ne'er  t.uu  ladies  of  the  post.* 

This  is  not  meant  lo  disapprove 

Your  judgment,  iu  your  choice  of  love,  IM 

Which  is  so  wise,  the  greatest  part 

Of  mankind  study  't  as  an  art ; 

For  love  shou'd,  like  a  dcodaiid, 

Still  fall  to  th'  owner  of  the  land  ;t 

And  where  there's  substance  for  its  ground,  105 

Cannot  but  be  more  firm  and  sound, I 

Than  that  which  has  the  slighter  basis 

Of  airy  virtue,  wit,  and  graces  ; 

Which  is  of  such  thin  sul)tlety, 

It  steals  and  creeps  in  at  the  eye,  110 

And,  as  it  can't  endure  to  slay, 

Steals  out  again,  as  nice  a  way.§ 

But  love,  that  its  extraction  owns 
.  From  solid  gold  and  precious  stones. 
Must,  like  its  shining  parents,  prove  115 

As  solid,  and  as  glorious  love. 
Hence  'tis  you  have  no  way  t'  express 
Our  charms  and  graces  but  by  these  ; 
For  what  are  lips,  and  eyes,  and  teeth, 1| 
Which  beauty  invades  and  conquers  with,  120 

But  rubies,  pearls,  and  diamonds, 
With  which,  a  philter  love  cominands?ir 

This  is  the  way  all  parents  prove. 
In  managing  their  children's  love  ; 

*  That  is,  will  never  swear  for  you,  or  vow  to  take  you  for  a 
husband. 

t  Any  moving  thing  which  occasions  the  death  of  a  man  is 
forfeited  to  the  lorit  of  the  ni.mor.  It  was  oiifiinally  intended 
that  lie  should  dispose  of  it  in  acts  o.'charity  ;  licnce  the  name 
deodand.  Or  it  is  a  thing  given,  or  raiher  forfeited  to  God,  for  the 
pacification  of  his  wrath,  in  case  of  niisadvenlurt.  whereby  any 
Christian  man  comelh  lo  a  violent  end,  without  the  fault  of  any 
'easonalile  crealuie.  Lewis  XIV.  and  others  horn  of  motliers 
Ihat  had  long  been  barren,  were  called  Adeodali. 
}       Optima  sed  quarc  Cesennia  teste  marito'? 

Bis  quingenta  dedit.  tanti  vocal  ille  pjjdicaii; ; 

Nee  Veneris  pharclris  maccr  est;  am  lampade  fervet : 

Inde  faces  ardent,  veniuut  a  dote  sugiiue. 

Juvenal,  vi.  135. 
^  Farquhar  has  this  thought  in  his  dialogue  between  Archel 
and  Cherry.    See  the  Beaux  Stratagem. 

II  rtvi  6tio6\(j>Tal  irort  ; 

*Oif£t  ;  ^AiJupi'a. Menand.  Iragni. 

IT  Suppose  we  read,  as  in  some  editions, 

IVith  xhich  as  pkiUcrs  love  commands. 


d82  THE  LADY'S  ANSWER. 

That  force  'em  t'  intermarry  and  wed,  ISS 

As  if  th'  were  burying  of  the  dead  ; 

Cast  earth  to  earth,  as  ill  the  grave. 

To  join  in  wedlock  all  they  have. 

And,  when  the  settlement 's  in  force, 

Take  ah  the  rest  for  better  or  worse  ;  130 

For  money  has  a  pow'r  above 

The  stars,  and  fate,  to  manage  love,* 

Whose  arrows,  learned  poets  hold. 

That  never  miss,  are  tipp'd  with  gold.t 

And  tho'  some  say,  the  parents'  claims  135 

To  make  love  in  their  children's  names,{ 

Who,  many  times,  at  once  provide 

The  nurse,  the  husband,  and  the  bride, 

Feel  darts  and  charms,  attracts  and  flames. 

And  woo,  and  contract,  in  their  names,  3  4C 

And  as  they  christen,  use  to  marry  'em  ; 

And,  like  their  gossips,  answer  for  'em  ; 

Is  not  to  give  in  matrimony. 

But  sell  and  prostitute  for  money. 

'Tis  better  tiian  their  own  betrothing,  145 

Who  often  do  't  for  worse  than  nothing  ; 

And  when  they  're  at  their  own  dispose, 

With  greater  disadvantage  choose. 

All  this  is  right ;  but,  for  the  course 

You  take  to  do  't,  by  fraud  or  force,  1 50 

'Tis  so  ridiculous,  as  soon 

As  told,  'tis  never  to  bo  done,§ 


•       Et  genus  et  forniam  regina  Pecunia  donat, 

Ac  bene  nummatum  decorat  Siiadela  Vennsqne. 

Hor.  Epist.  lib.  i.  vi.  37. 

'Eyu>  y  viTi\a^ov  xpriaijiovi  tvai  Btoi; 

T'  apyvptov  ijiitv  xai  to  xpvaiov  iidvov- 

Menand.  Frag 

t  In  Ovid's  Metamorphose?,  i.  468,  Cupid  employs  two  ar- 
rows, one  of  gold,  and  the  other  of  lead :  the  former  causing 
eve,  the  lalter  av,  rsion. 

Eque  sagittifera  prornpsit  duo  tela  pharetra 
fiiversorum  operiun  :  flight  hoc,  ficit  ilUid  aniorem. 
ftuod  facit  auratuin  est,  et  cuspide  fulget  acuta: 
Ciuod  fugat  obtusuni  est,  et  habet  sub  arundine  plumbum. 

I  Though  it  is  thus  printed  in  all  the  copies  I  have  seen,  yel 
claim  and  name  should  seem  a  better  reading,  toavfiiil  false  con- 
tord  •■  for  claim  is  the  nominative  case  to  Is  in  verse  143. 

^  deep.  i.  c.  ii.  I.  G7G: 

Shall  dictum  factum  both  be  brought 
To  condign  p>:nishment 


THE  LADY'S  ANSWER.  483 

No  more  than  setters  can  betray,* 
That  fell  wliat  tricks  llioy  are  to  play- 
Marriage,  at  best,  is  but  a  vow,  ISI 
VVliicii  all  men  eitlier  break  or  bow; 
Tlien  what  will  those  forbear  to  do, 
Who  perjure  when  they  do  but  woo? 
Such  as  beforehand  swear  and  lie, 
For  earnest  to  their  treachery,                                    160 
And  rather  than  a  crime  confess, 
With  greater  strive  to  make  it  less: 
Like  tiiieves,  who,  after  sentence  past, 
Maintain  their  inn'cence  to  the  last ; 
And  when  their  crimes  were  made  appear,  163 
As  plain  as  witnesses  can  swear. 
Yet  when  the  wretches  come  to  die, 
Will  take  upon  their  death  a  lie. 
Nor  are  the  virtues  you  coufess'd 
.  T'  your  ghostly  father,  as  you  guess'd,                    170 
So  slight  as  to  be  justify 'd. 
By  being  as  shamefully  deny'd  ; 
As  if  yon  thought  your  word  would  pass. 
Point-blank  on  both  sides  of  a  case  ; 
Or  credit  were  not  to  bo  lost  175 
B'  a  brave  kniglit-crrant  of  the  post, 
That  eats  perfidiously  his  word, 
And  swears  his  ears  thro'  a  two-inch  board  :t 
Can  own  the  same  thing,  and  disown, 
And  perjure  booty  pro  and  con  ;  180 
Can  make  the  Gospel  serve  his  turn, 
And  help  him  out  to  be  forsworn  ; 
When  'tis  laid  hands  upon,  and  kist, 
To  be  betray'd  and  sold,  like  Christ. 
These  are  the  virtues  in  whose  name                      185 
A  right  to  all  the  world  you  claim. 
And  boldly  challenge  a  dominion, 
In  grace  and  nature,  o'er  all  women  ; 
Of  whom  no  less  will  satisfy, 
Thau  all  the  sex,  your  tyranny :                               190 


*  Setter,  a  term  frequent  in  ths  comedies  of  tlic  l.ist  century : 
snnielifnes  it  seems  to  lie  a  piinp,  sonsetiiiies  H  spy,  liiU  most 
usually  an  atlen<lant  on  a  ciientinji  pimesler,  who  intrixlucea 
anpractised  youtlis  to  Le  pillaged  by  him  ;  what  a  setting  dog  ia 
to  a  sportsman. 

t  That  is,  endeavors  to  shield  him<clf  from  the  punishmeni 
due  to  perjury,  the  loss  of  his  ears,  liy  a  desperate  perseveran.TR 
in  faNe  swearin;j.  A  person  is  salt!  to  swear  thriiugh  a  twfr 
Inch  board,  when  he  makes  oath  of  any  thing  which  was  con 
tealeu  iroiii  him  by  a  thick  door  or  iiartition. 
41 


<84  THE  LADY'S  ANSWER. 

Altho'  you'll  find  it  a  hard  province, 

With  all  your  crafty  frauds  and  covins,* 

To  govern  such  a  num'rous  crew, 

Who,  one  by  one,  now  govern  you  ; 

For  if  you  all  were  Solon wns,  IM 

And  wise  and  great  as  he  was  once. 

You'll  find  they're  able  to  subdue. 

As  they  did  him,  and  bailie  you. 

.And  if  you  are  inipos'd  upon, 

'Tis  by  your  own  temptation  done  :  200 

That  with  your  ignorance  invite. 

And  teach  us  how  to  use  the  slight. 

For  when  we  find  y're  still  inore  taken 

With  false  attracts  of  our  own  making, 

Swear  that's  a  rose,  and  that's  a  stone,  205 

Like  sots,  to  us  that  laid  it  on. 

And  what  we  did  but  slightly  prime. 

Most  ignorantly  daub  in  rhyme  ; 

You  force  us,  in  our  own  defences. 

To  copy  beams  and  influences  ;  2".0 

To  lay  perfections  on  the  graces, 

And  draw  attracts  upon  our  faces  ; 

And,  in  compliance  to  your  wit. 

Your  own  false  jewels  counterfeit : 

For,  by  the  practice  of  those  arts,  215 

W'e  gain  a  greater  share  of  hearts  ; 

And  those  deserve  in  reason  most. 

That  greatest  pains  and  study  cost ; 

For  great  perfections  are,  like  heav'n. 

Too  rich  a  present  to  be  giv'n  :  220 

Nor  are  those  master-strokes  of  beauty 

To  be  perform'd  without  hard  duty. 

Which,  when  they're  nobly  done,  and  well, 

The  simple  natural  e.vcel. 

How  fair  and  sweet  the  planted  rose,t  225 

*  Covin  is  \  term  of  law,  signifying  a  deceitful  compact  be- 
rween  two  or  more,  to  deceive  or  prejudice  others. 

t  This  and  the  followini;  lines  are  l.eauiifiil.  Mr.  Bacon  sup- 
poses that  the  poet  alludes  to  Miltun,  when  he  says: 

Though  paradise  were  e'er  so  fair, 
It  was  not  kept  so  without  care. 

The  moral  sense  of  the  passage  may  be  found  in  Horace,  lib 
IV.  O.  4 : 

Poctrina  sed  vim  promovet  insitam 
Rectiqiie  culliis  pec  ora  ruboranl. 
And  the  sweetness  of  the  verse  in  CatuU.  Carm.  Naptitti 
39,  &c.: 


THE  LADY'S  ANSWER.  485 

Beyond  the  wild  in  hcdircs  prows  . 

For.  without  art,  liie  noblest  seeds 

t)r  flowers  degenerate  into  weeds : 

How  dull  and  riifrged,  ere  'tis  ground, 

And  j)olisli'd,  looks  a  diamond  ?  £30 

Though  paradise  were  e'er  so  fair, 

It  was  not  kept  so  without  care. 

Tiie  whole  world,  without  art  and  dress, 

Would  be  but  one  great  wilderness  ; 

And  mankind  but  a  savage  herd,  232 

For  all  that  nature  has  conferr'd  : 

This  does  but  rough-hew  and  design, 

Leares  art  to  polish  and  refina 

Though  women  first  were  made  for  men. 

Yet  men  were  made  for  thein  agen  :  240 

For  when,  out-witted  by  his  wife, 

Man  first  tnrn'd  tenant  but  for  life,* 

If  wom.an  had  not  interven'd. 

How  soon  had  mankind  had  an  end  I 

And  that  it  is  in  being  yet,  345 

To  us  alone  you  are  in  debt. 

Then  where's  your  liberty  of  choice. 

And  our  unnatural  no-voice  ? 

.Since  all  the  privilege  you  boast. 

And  falsely  usurp'd,  or  vainly  lost,  350 

Is  now  our  right,  to  whose  creation 

You  owe  your  happy  restoration. 

And  if  we  had  not  weighty  cause 

To  not  appear  in  making  laws, 

W'e  cou'd,  in  spite  of  all  your  tricks,  353 

And  shallow  formal  politics. 

Force  you  our  managements  t'  obey. 

As  we  to  yours,  in  shew,  give  way. 

Hence 'tis,  that  while  you  vainly  strive 

T'  advance  your  high  prerogative,  260 

You  basely,  after  all  your  braves, 

Submit  and  own  yourselves  our  slaves; 

And  'cause  we  do  not  make  it  known. 

Nor  publicly  our  inl'resls  own, 

Like  sots,  suppose  we  have  no  sliares  261 

111  ord'riug  you,  and  your  affairs. 


Ut  flos  in  septis  nascitnr  hnrtis, 

liitidtus  pccciri.  niillo  conlusus  arnitti, 

Uiiciii  iiiulceiit  aura,  lirin:il  sol,  etiiicat  hnber. 

•  i.  c.  When  ii^an  becrinie  subject  to  death  by  eating  the  for 
Vdden  fruit  at  the  persuasion  of  llie  woaiaa. 


4S6  THE  LADY'S  ANSWER. 

Wliea  all  your  empire,  and  command, 

You  have  from  us,  at  second  hand  ; 

As  if  a  pilot,  tliat  appeai-s 

To  sit  still  only,  while  he  steers,  9P* 

And  does  not  make  a  noise  and  stir. 

Like  ev'ry  common  mariner. 

Knew  nolhinjj  of  the  chart,  nor  star, 

And  did  not  guide  the  man  of  war ; 

Nor  we,  because  we  don't  appear  875 

la  councils,  do  not  govern  there : 

While,  like  the  migiity  PresterJohn, 

Whose  person  none  dares  look  upon,* 

But  is  preserved  in  close  disguise. 

From  b'ing  made  cheap  to  vulgar  eyes,  280 

W'  enjoy  as  large  a  pow'r  unseen. 

To  govern  him,  as  he  does  men  • 

And,  in  the  right  of  our  Pope  Joan, 

Make  emp'rors  at  our  feet  fall  down  • 

Or  Joan  de  Pucelle's  braver  name,  -285 

Our  right  to  arms  and  conduct  claim  ; 

Who,  tlio'  a  spinster,  yet  was  able 

To  serve  France  for  a  grand  constable.     • 

W'e  make  and  execute  all  laws. 

Can  judge  the  judges,  and  the  cause  :  290 

Prescribe  all  rules  of  right  or  wrong. 

To  th'  long  robe,  and  the  longer  tongue, 

'Gainst  which  the  world  has  uo  defence. 

But  our  more  pow'rful  eloquence. 

We  manage  things  of  greatest  weight  295 

In  all  the  world's  aliairs  of  state  ; 

Are  ministers  of  war  and  peace, 

Tliat  sway  all  nations  how  we  please. 

We  rule  all  churches,  and  their  flocks. 

Heretical  and  orthodox,  300 


*  The  name  or  title  of  Prester  John,  has  been  given  by  travel- 
.ers  to  the  king  of  Teniliic  in  Asia,  who,  lilse  the  Abyssine,  ot 
L-thiopian  emperors,  preserved  great  slate,  anil  ilid  n(it  con- 
descend to  be  seen  by  his  subjcits  above  twice  nr  three  times  a 
year.  Mandeville,  who  pretends  to  have  travelled  over  I'rester 
John's  country,  and  is  very  prolix  on  the  snb.jeit.  makes  him 
sovereicn  of  an  archipelago  nf  isles  in  India  l>e\  ond  15  ictria,  and 
says  Ihiit,  "A  former  emperor  travelled  into  Egypt,  where  being 
"present  at  divine  service,  he  asked  who  thuse  persons  were 
"that  stood  before  the  bishop?     .^nd  beim;  told  they  should  be 

liriests,  he  said,  he  wimld  no  more  be  callcil  king,  nor  emperor, 
"  but  priest;  ami  would  have  the  name  of  him  that  came  first 
''out  of  the  priests,  and  was  called  Jdin.  and  so  liave  ali  the 
'emperors  since  been  called  Prester  John  " — Cap.  1)9. 


THE  LAD^  S  ANSWER.  481 

And  a;o  the  licavenly  veliicles 

O'  til'  spirits  ill  all  conventicles:* 

By  us  is  all  commerce  and  trade 

Improv'd,  and  nianarr'd,  and  dccay'd: 

For  nothing  can  go  olFso  well,  305 

Nor  bears  that  price,  as  what  we  sell. 

We  rule  in  ev'ry  public  meeting. 

And  make  men  do  what  wo  judge  fitting  ;+ 

Are  magistrates  in  all  great  towns. 

Where  meu  do  nothing  but  wear  gowns.  31b 

We  make  the  man  of  war  strike  sail, 

And  to  our  bras'cr  conduct  veil, 

And,  when  lie  'as  chas'd  his  enemies, 

Submit  to  us  upon  his  knees. 

Is  there  an  officer  of  state,  31i 

Untimely  rais'd,  or  magistrate, 

That's  liauglity  and  imperious  ? 

He's  but  a  journeyman  to  us. 

That,  as  lie  gives  us  cause  to  do't, 

Can  keep  him  in,  or  turn  liim  out.  320 

We  arc  your  guardians,  that  increase, 

Or  waste  your  fortunes  how  we  please  ; 

And,  as  you  humour  us,  can  deal 

In  all  your  matters,  ill  or  well. 

'Tis  we  that  can  dispose  alone,  325 

Whether  your  heirs  shall  be  your  own  ; 

To  whose  integrity  you  must. 

In  spite  of  all  your  caution,  trust ; 

And,  less  you  fly  beyond  the  seas, 

Can  fit  you  with  what  heirs  we  please  ;  330 

And  force  you  t'  own  them,  tlio'  begotten 

By  French  valets,  or  Irish  footmen. 

Nor  can  the  rigorousest  course 

Prevail,  unless  to  make  us  worse ; 

Who  still,  the  harsher  we  are  ns'd,  335 

Are  further  ofTfrom  b'ing  reduc'd  ; 

And  scorn  t'  abate,  for  any  ills. 

The  least  punctilio  of  our  wills. 

Force  does  but  whet  our  wits  t'  apply 

Arts,  born  with  us,  for  remedy,  340 

Wliich  all  your  politics,  as  yet, 


*  As  pood  veliicles  at  least  as  the  cIoHk-bag,  which  wa«  sa'd 
lo  have  conveyeil  the  SHriie  from  Rome  to  the  cimncil  ot'Trent. 

t  A  ureal  |):irt  of  what  is  here  said  on  the  poliiical  influence 
of  women,  was  aimed  at  the  court  of  Charles  II.,  or  perhaps  at 
the  wife  of  General  Monk. 


4S8  THE  LADY'S  ANSWER. 

Have  ne'er  been  able  to  defeat : 

For,  when  ye  've  try'd  all  sorts  of  ways, 

What  fools  do  we  mukc  of  you  ia  plays? 

Wliile  all  the  favours  wo  atibrd,  3iS 

Are  but  to  girt  you  witii  the  sword, 

To  fight  our  battles  in  our  steads, 

And  have  your  brains  beat  out  o'  your  licads 

Encounter,  in  despite  of  nature, 

And  fijrlit,  at  once,  witli  fire  and  water,  350 

With  pirates,  rocks,  and  storms,  and  seas. 

Our  pride  and  vanity  t'  a[)pease  ; 

Kill  one  another,  and  cut  throats, 

For  our  good  graces,  and  best  thoughts  ; 

To  do  your  exercise  for  honour,  355 

And  iiave  your  bruius  beat  out  the  sooner; 

Oi  crack'd,  as  learnedly,  upon 

Things  that  are  never  to  be  known  : 

And  still  appear  the  more  industrious. 

The  more  your  projects  are  prepost'rous,  360 

To  square  the  circle  of  the  arts, 

And  run  stark  mad  to  shew  your  parts  ; 

Expound  the  oracle  of  iaws, 

And  turn  them  which  way  we  see  cause  ; 

Be  our  solicitors,  and  agents,  365 

And  stand  for  us  in  all  engagements. 

And  these  are  all  the  mighty  pow'rs 

You  vainly  boast  to  cry  down  ours ; 

And  what  in  real  value's  wanting. 

Supply  with  vapouring  and  ranting:  370 

Because  yourselves  are  terrify "d, 

And  stoop  to  one  another's  pride  • 

Believe  we  have  as  little  wit 

To  be  out-hector'd,  and  submit : 

By  your  example,  lose  that  right  375 

In  treaties,  which  we  gain'd  In  fight  :* 

And  terrify'd  into  an  awe. 

Pass  on  ourselves  a  salique  law  ;t 


*  England,  in  every  period  of  her  history,  has  been  thought 
more  successful  in  war  Ihan  in  negotiation.  Congreve,  rc-flecling 
npon  queen  Anne's  last  ministry,  in  his  Epistle  to  Lord  Cobham, 
iays: 

Be  far  that  guilt,  he  never  known  that  shame, 
That  llritaiii  should  retract  her  rightful  claim, 
Or  stain  with  jitn  the  triumphs  of  her  sword  I 

t  The  salique  law  detnr'!  the  succession  of  females  to  some 
Inheritances.  Thus  knights'  fees,  or  lands  hnldcn  of  the  crown 
by  knights'  service,  are  in  some  parts,  as  the  learned  Seldcn  ob- 


THE  LADY'S  ANSWER.  480 

Or,  as  some  nations  use,  give  place, 

And  truckle  to  your  niii^hty  race:  380 

Let  men  usurp  111'  unjust  dominiLn, 

As  if  tliey  were  the  better  women.* 

serves,  tcrriR  siilica;:  males  only  are  Hllowed  to  inherit  snch 
Ituuls,  liecause  ilie  females  cannot  pertiinii  the  servli  es  for 
wliicli  they  are  granted.  See  Seldcn*!)  n.)tcs  on  the  seventeenth 
gong  of  Drayton's  I'olyolhion.  The  French  have  extended  this 
law  to  the  inheritance  of  the  crown  itself.  See  Shuksi)uare, 
Henry  V.,  Act  i.  scene  ii. 

*  The  Lady  concludes  with  great  spirit:  but  it  may  lie  thai 
the  influence  of  the  sex  has  not  been  much  overrated  by  her. 
.Aristophanes  hath  two  entire  plays  to  demonstrate,  ironically, 
the  superiority  of  the  female  sex.    See  v.  5'.\S  of  the  Lysislrata. 

in  Butler's  Common-place  Book,  are  the  following  lines  undel 
Ihn  article  Jifatarc  and  Xtl : 

The  most  divine  of  all  the  works  of  nature 
Was  not  to  make  the  mo<lel,  but  the  matter: 
A  man  may  build  without  desif^n  and  rules 
But  not  without  materials  and  tools: 
This  lady,  like  a  lish's  row,  had  room 
For  such  a  shoal  of  infants  in  her  womb: 
The  truest  glasses  naturally  misplace 
The  lineaments  and  features  of  her  face, 
The  right  and  left  still  counterchange. 
And  in  the  rooms  of  one  another  range; 
Nature  denies  brute  animals  expression, 
Because  they  are  incapable  of  reason. 

Precious  stones  not  only  do  foretell 
The  dire  effects  of  poison,  but  repel 
When  no  one  person's  able  t'  tmderstand 
The  vast  stupendous  uses  of  the  hand  ; 
The  only  engine  helps  the  wit  of  man, 
To  bring  the  world  in  compass  of  a  span: 
From  raising  mighty  fabrics  on  the  seas, 
To  filing  chains  to  fit  the  necks  of  fleas. 
The  left  hand  is  but  deputy  to  the  right, 
ll2&t  r>u  a  joiirueytuiu  is  wont  t'  t>ni()Ujy  *t 


INDEX  TO   THE  NOTES. 


PAOC. 

tec  iiience i>i) 

Achilles 1:11 

Achitophel 3^*8 

Acteoii 101 

Ailminisirings 3.')3 

Adri.uic 2-14 

Allulavit  haiul :i-.'7 

makers 3t<l 

Aganda  i>i 

Apit;it(irs 3^0 

Agrippii,  Sir 61,  ii7» 

AJHX 93,  100 

Albertus  194 

Magnus  9S 

Alcoran 415 

Alessandro  Tassoni  (Life)     21 

Alexander  Hales 42 

ihe  Great 159 

Alimony  351 

Alle^'urlcal  explanation  of 

IliidHiras  (Life) 20 

Alligators  413 

Aliiiaiiac 21)2 

Amazons 339 

Aiiaiiram 3I!8 

Aiiaxa^oias 2^3 

Ancliorile 3-13 

Animalia 1(19 

Animals  bandy'd  balls t?2 

Aiithroposoplms 01 

Anilpalliies,  perverse 45 

Antwerp 257 

Apocryphal   3!ir> 

Ap<iilo  89 

Apolloniiis  2HU 

ofTyana 02 

Apostles  245 

Aquinas,  Thomas 42 

Aratus 270 

Arbitrary  ale  and  wine  .••  401 

Ar-iie  versie  153 

Arthur 50 

Aruspicy  and  Aug'ry 252 

Ascendant    207 

Atoms  justling 300 


PAOE. 

Alone 40c 

Au<:ustus 23i 

Austrian  Archduke 132 

Averrhois 281 

Balwl,  laborers  of 39 

Babylon,  whore  of  .  • .   102,  245 

Bacon,  Roger 95 

Bacrack 451 

Bail 329 

Bardashiiig 320 

Barnacles  397 

Barratry   403 

Bases 210 

white  113 

Bassa  211 

Bawd  and  Brandy 210 

Beards  47,  183,  315,309 

Bears     whelped     without 

form 170 

Beavers 81 

Beer  glasses 210 

Behmen,  Jacob 01 

Berenice  288 

Bet  413 

Biaiicaliore 211 

Bilks 207 

Binls,  speech  of 02 

Black  caps   105 

Black-pudding 384 

Board  310 

Bobbing 359 

Boiiibastus  277 

lioniCace  107 

Bonner,  Bisliop 236 

Booker 258,298 

Booth,  Sir  Ceorge  (Life)..     27 

Bos,  abb6  (lu  (Life)   28 

Bough,  golden 57 

Boute-feiis   72 

Bow .vJS 

Bray'.i   305 

Breeches,     Adam's     first 

green  fi<( 

Breese  367 


J!)2  INDEX 


Brewer 53 

Brislit,  Mr.  Henry,  his  epi- 
taph (Life)  10 

Broking-trade  in  love ^4 

Brotherhood,  holy  350 

Brown  f Life) 25 

Brown-bills 302 

Bucephalus 55,  ]87 

Bullen,  siege  of 4i) 

Biillfeasis   314 

Biiiwer(Life) 25 

Biiiiikin 54 

Burton  (Life) 25 

Butler  (Life)   0-17 

Byfieia 395 

Cabal 50,  409 

Cacus 103 

CailitF 140 

Ca  Ira  of  Paris  (Life)  25 

Calamies  and  Cases 396 

Calaniy 100 

Caldes'd 295 

Calcndae  291 

Caliban  320 

Caligula 453 

Callistratus(Life) 24 

Camhay,  prince  of 207 

Canielion 179 

Cannibal  5(i 

Capriches  320 

Cardan 200 

Cardinals 108 

Carew   221 

CarininaMacaronica(Life)     23 

Carnal  hour-glass 161 

Carneades 38 

Carroches 448 

Casa,  Cardinal 101 

Case  106 

Cashier'd  and  chous'd 372 

Catasla  187 

Cause 104 

Cn.'sar"s  horse 54 

CiKsar,  Julius 95,282 

Cerberus  30 

Chait,  modern 50 

Chaldeans 28! 

Chaldean  conjurers  291 

Characters  by  Bishop  Earle 

(Life) 

Butler  (Life) 

Cleveland 


(Life; 

Chariots,  whimsy'd 

Charles  XII 

Chartel    

Charters,  old   

Cheat • 

Cheek  by  joul   • 

Chimeia  


17 
17 

17 
307 
152 

36 
2<I0 
2,51 
182 
170 


FAQS 

Chineses >  331 

Chitterlings   •■ 85 

Chous'd 295 

Chronical  289 

Church  discipline 105 

dragoons 373 

mililant 44 

Circulation 289 

Clapper-cl;",wing 220 

Classic 74 

Classics 208 

Clergy  of  her  belly 342 

Cloistered  friars 339 

Coals,  price  of 384 

Cold  iron 127 

Colon  100 

Comets 40,84 

Commendation  uinepence     .">7. 

Commissioners   H>4 

Conunittee-men  3f    HI 

Commuted  318 

Conclave 427 

Conjurers  270,279 

Conscience 35-1,  309 

Constellations 270,288 

Conventicle  427 

Conventicles  487 

Cook 433 

Copernicus 200 

Cordeliere 48 

Cornets   400 

Cornwall 259 

Corrupted  texts 308 

Cotton's  travesty  (Life)  ••     23 

Cough   38 

Course  without  law 307 

Coursing  (Life) 

in  the  schools . 


11 
422 

Covenant  70 

Covins 484 

Cow-itch 2.35 

Coy 342 

Cravat  165 

Crete,  queen  of 192 

Creiisa 89 

Crincam   335 

Cromwell 77,224,249 

Crony 350,423 

Crooked  sticks 399 

Cross  and  pile 334 

the  cudgels 370 

Crowdero  •   34,  85 

Crowley,  poet  88 

Cucking-stool    24^ 

Culpepper 2.'5S 

Culprits 301 

Cup,  ancient     59 

Cupid. 138 

Curmudgin 236 


Curry 

Curule  wit 


235 
69 


INI  EX. 


4&3 


PAGE. 
..  Ill 
..       71 


Cul-pjrse ■ 

Cynarcuiiiiurchy 


Daeeer 52 

Daliliihs    41(1 

Damon 418 

Oazzliiiji-room 312 

Pea(l  lidises  . — 3:i2 

Dee,  Dr 201 

Demosthenes 4(1 

Denhaiii,  Sir  John  2(i8 

Deodiind  4HI 

Desbormijrh  3H0 

3(i'.) 
277 
32] 
375 
1G9 


Devil's  ilam 

lookingtilass  • 

Devvtry 

Dial... 

Dialeclic-i; 

Diastole 205 

Diego,  Don  8C 

Dighy,  Lord 104 

Sir  Kenelm  (I.ile)       25 

Pighte.l  1.57 

Diogenes J5'.l,  3.'ii) 

DIomedes Kll 

Directory  KKi,  237 

Discretion lf^5 

Disparata 174 

Dispose  05 

Dissenters 414 

Dividends 370 

Diurnals  180 

Doctor,  epidemic 94 

Doctor's  hill 65 

Dog-boll 178 

Doll,  common  3!)0 

Dolts 393 

Donship 444 

Donzel 274 

Double  rhymes  (Life)  ••••     27 

Doublets 201 

DniKon's  tail  271 

Drazels  345 

Dream,  erroneous 377 

Drill'd  143 

Drudging ■     52 

Druids  293 

Drum  heads 3l)5 

Dry-nursed  by  a  bear  ....     87 

Ducatoon 132 

Dudgeon 33,  52 

Dua  431 

Scotus 42 

Dunstau  27C 

Earls  Crooinbe  (Life) 11 

Ears,  inward  315 

long  ones 35 

Echo 134 

Efficace  394 

Egyptians  worship  dogs  .  •  72 


That. 

Eggs 243 

rotten 306 

l';ienchi  109 

Kl.phant 106 

Klf ,V24 

Elysium 312 

Empcdoclcs 80 

Enchantment 277 

Engagement 222 

Engine 191 

Ensconc'd 14'; 

Entity  and  quiddity 41 

Epistola;  obsc.urorum  viro- 

rum  (Life)   23 

Errant  44 

Erra  I'atcr 40 

Eratosthenes 270 

Essex 223 

Et  cetera,  oath  •••. 109 

Execution 315 

Exempts  394 

Exigent 346 

Exigon  ts  .52 

Ex  officio 229 

Expedient 204,  391 

Extend 450 

Extract    nundicrs    out    of 

matter  03 

Facet  201 

Fadg'd 369 

Fame 179 

Fanatics   359 

Fantastic 189 

Fantastical  advowtry 321 

Fate  2.>2 

Fears 34 

Feathers 150 

Fellow 93 

Fern 440 

Fight  again 449 

Fig-tree  (Life) 22 

Fines 343 

Fisher's  Folly 407 

Fisk  268 

Fitters  313 

Fleetwood   380 

Florio 211 

Floud 01 

Forlorn  hope 363 

Four  seas 331 

Frankpledge 229 

Free  will 45 

Fulhams   203 

Gabardine 145 

Galenist •  457 

Gallows-tree    268 

Ganzas 285 

Gaolers,  Roman 329 

Gauntlet,  blue HI 


i9i 


INDEX. 


PAGE. 
.    3-11 

.  28-2 
.  349 
.  28S 
. .  235 


Generation  

Genetlil'iHCS   

Geoniancy  

Geometry  

George-a-Green  

Georjie,  Sir  or  saint  • 

Gihellines   39!) 

Gills  243 

Gizzards  398 

Glass 333 

Glassy  bul.ble 23-2 

Weaves  393 

Glow-worni  371 

Goats 398 

Gondil)ert 99 

Goropins  Becanus 43 

Gossip  jai 

Grass  Jdl 

Greasy  liyht   251 

Greece    284 

Green-hastings 3(15 

Greenland 333 

Green-tnen  334 

Greshanicarts 3r)3 

college 3:)8 

Grey,  Or.  (Life) IG 

Grind  her  lips  upon  a  mill  201 

Grizel 113 

Grosled,  Holiert 2lil) 

Groves 381 

Guells  399 

Gymnosophist 259 


Halierdaslier 

Habergeon    

riah-nab  

Hallowing  carriers'   packs 

and  bells 

Halter  pri)of 

Hampden  

Hans-iowns 

Hardikniiie 

Hard  words  

Hares 

Harpocrates  

Flarrison   

Haunches 

Hayley  (Life) 

Hazlerig  

Heart-breakers  

Hebrew  roots 

Hector  

Heir  apparent 

Helmont  

Hemp-plot 

Henderson   

Heraclides 

(l^ife;  

Herald ~ 

Hermetic 

Uiccius  Doctius 


faoK 

High  places  •.  301 

Hight 4l.25f. 

Hint  307 

Hipparchus  (Life) 24 

Hoccan)ore 451 

Hoctis-pocus 4t)4 

Hofborn :{89 

Holders-forlh 423 

Holidays  381 

Holland 77 

Hollow  flint 264 

Honor 233 

Honor's  teiii|ile  208 

Hook  or  Crook 408 

Horary  inspection 2il4 

Horseman's  weight  379 

Horse-shoe 2i>4 

Hose 300 

Hudibras,  his  name 32 

Hugger-mugger 137 

Hughson 423 

Huns   9-2 

Hurricane 371) 

llypocondres  285 


Idus  

Ignritius 395, 

Ignis  ("aluus   

Implicit  aversion   

generation 

Iniprimitur    lor    lludibras 

(I^ile) 

Independents 

Indian  magician   

plantations   

widows   

Indians  liiught  for  nirnkeys* 

teeth 

Infant 

Ingenuity  and  wit 

Ingram,  Nir.  (Life) 

Iiijunclion,  original  (Life) 

Intelliiiible  world 

Intelligences 

Influences 

Irish,  wild 

Iron  lance 

Ironside  

Issachar 


291 
4.33 
50 
J97 
331 

12 

5? 

270 

270 

332 


293 

203 

30 

13 

(W 

270 

"(iO 
297 
348 
3U4 


Jacob's  staff 286 

.lealousics 34 

.lefTcries,  Thomas  (Life)..  11 

Jesuits 227 

Jimmers,  Sarah 298 

J<ian  of  France 97 

.!ob 113 

Jolibernol 403 

Justice 459 

Kelly a58,361  OT 


INDEX. 


49s 


PAOE. 

Kine  Jesus :i80 

Kirchcrus AM 

Knacks 2i)8 

Knee,  stuhtiorn 3G 

Kniuht,  (lulilied 1-21 

Knightsbridge 415 

Knights,  cross-legged..  5G,  465 
of  the  post. . .  64,  254 

Ladies  of  the  lakes 341 

Lady-day 345 

F^nUiert 380 

Laocoon 77 

Law,  goes  to 45R 

Laws,  fundamental 71 

Lawyers 231 

Lay-elder 102 

League,  holy,  in  France  . .  109 

Leaguer 190 

Learning,  ancient  and  mod- 
ern     82 

that  cobweb  of 

the  brain 171 

Leash  of  languages 39 

Leech 91 

Lenlhal 308 

Lescus 2(il 

Levet 239 

Lewkners 341 

Leyden,  John  of 380 

1-ight,  new 285 

Lilbourn 388 

Lilliburlero  (Life) 24,25 

Lilly,  William....   40,  258,  298 

Linsey-woolsey 383 

Linstock 247 

Lob's  pound 156 

Longees 316 

Loudon 257 

Love 209,481 

Loveday,  Dr.  (Life) 30 

Lovers 344 

Louse 264 

Luez 435 

Luke,  Sir  Samuel 35 

his  family  (Life)  ••     12 

Lunatics 285 

Lunsford 415 

Lurch  301,  373 

Lute-strings 263 

Luther,  Martin 257 

Lydian  dubs 210 

Machiavel ,354 

Magi,  Persian 36S 

Magnano 159 

Mahomet 46,270,395 

Maidenheads 263 

Mainprized 254 

Maintenance  463 

Milignanis 108 

42 


TAOE. 

Mall,  Enalish 97 

Maiiiahilie   76 

Mandrake 337 

.Manicon   302 

Mantles  della  guerre 342 

Mantos,  yellow 334 

Marcle-hill 417 

Margaret's  fast 391 

Marriage 193,320-331 

Marry 462 

Mars 259 

Marshal  Legion's 442 

Mascon 257 

Masses 421 

Mathematic  line 338 

Matter,  naked 63 

Mazarenade  (Life) 24 

Mazzard Ill 

Median  emperor 282 

Med'cine 251 

Melampus 62 

Menckenius 266 

Mercurius  aulicus  (Life)..     13 

Merlin 96 

Meroz 417 

Meta physic  wit 41 

Mctonoiiiy    275 

Michaelmas 540 

Milton 07 

Mince  pies 45 

Miscreants 376 

Monipesson 182 

Moinus 232 

Monies 423 

Montaigne 216 

j>laying  with  his  cat    30 

Moon 213,262 

Moral  men 376 

Mordicus 72 

Morpion 326 

Mother  wits 471 

Music  malleable 44 


Nab.  mother 

Naked  truth 

Napier 

Nash 

National 

Navel 

Nebuchadnezzar . 
Necromantic 


iVegus 

Neile 

New-enlightened  men  •  • 

Nick 

Night 

Nimmcrs 

.Nine-worthiness 

Nock 

Noel,  Sir  Martin 

Nokes,  Joan  of 


400 
445 

,387 

301 

74 

44 

4()7 

254 

187 

306 

372 

355 

350 

298 

119 

49 

431 


196 


INDEX. 


PAOE. 

Number  of  the  beast 404 

Nuntlieons 51 

Niirenberg,  Eiisebiiis 85 

Nurse,  to • 30G 

Nurture 305 

Nye 390,472 


Oaths 

Ob 

Ochaiii,  William • 

Old  (logs,  young • 

Testament 

women 

Oliver  Cromwell 

Onslaught 

Opposition 

Orcades 

Ordeal 

Ordinances 72, 

Oricen  (Mfe) 

Orsin 80, 

Os  sacrum 

Ovation 

Owen 

Owl 

Athenian 

Oxford  (Life) 

Lord  (Life) 

Padders 

Palmistry 

Paper  lanthorn 

I'aracelsian 

Paracelsus 85, 

Paradise,  bird  of 

on  earth 

seat  of 

Parliament,  female 

Paris,  garden 

Piirlhians 130, 

Patents 

Pawns 

Paws,  liears  suck  them  .  • . 

Paying  poundaiie   

Pearce,  Dr.  Zachary  (Life) 

Pecca(!illos 

Pegu,  emperor  of 

Pendulum 

Penguins 

Penitentials 

Penthesile 

Perfection-truths    

Pernicion 

Perpendic'lars 

Perriwigs 156, 

Persia 

Petard 

Petitions 

Pelronel    

Pharsalia 

Philip  and  Mary 


333 
422 
42 
307 
415 
328 
377 
142 
232 
397 
312 
227 
'26 
133 
430 
244 
396 
283 
286 
11 
30 

364 
301 
211 
457 
264 
269 
341 

42 
212 

88 
471 

89 
339 

92 
381 

14 
360 

86 
296 

82 
209 

97 
122 
164 
296 
,472 

86 
337 
107 
114 

83 
334 


Philips.  Sir  Richard 

Philo  {Uff.}..-- 

Philters 

Physiognomy  of  grace  .... 

Picqueer  

Picture,  iich  of 

Pie-pov.der 

Pigeons,  eastern 

Pigs 

Pigsncy 

Pipkins 

Pique 403, 

Pithy  saws 

Plagiaries 

Planetary  nicks 

Platonic  lashing 

Plato's  year 

Pope 

Pope's  ball 

Populia  

Port  cannons  

Po,  spirit 

Postulate  illation  

Potentia 

Potosi 

Poundage  of  repentance  •• 

Powdering  tubs 

Presbyterians  ••••  .n5,  102, 

Prester  John   

Pretences  to  learning  ridi- 
culed (Life)  . .  ■ 

Pride,  Sir 42.3 

Prior(Life) 

Priscian 

Privilege,  frail 

Proboscis ••  • 

Proclus  fLife)  

Proletarian 

Promethean  powder  -■• 

Prophecies  

Protestation 

Ptolemies  

Public  faith 

Pug-robin 

Pulpit 

Punese 

Punk   

Purchas's  Pilurim  (fiife) 

Purging  comfits 

Purposes 

Purtenance 

Pygmalion    

Pyrrhus,  King 

Pythagoras 

Pythias  


349 
26 
312 
KA 
389 
67 
229 
179 
415 
198 
164 
411 
268 
458 
277 
320 
308 
398 

loa 

73 
150 
357 
207 

41 
322 
361 
410 
106 
486 


,433 
20 
225 
"71 
205 
26 
70 
143 
381 
222 
434 
o->4 

358 
35 
326 
34 
25 
138 
345 
138 
139 
186 
279 
418 


Quacks  of  government  •••  335 

Quail'd  135 

Quartile   292 

j  (iueen  of  night 355 

iQuerpo  .■   ■"  -M? 


INDEX. 


407 


PAGE.  I 

Question  and  command  . .  3-16 

nalivily  of 65 

Quillets 465 

Quint  of  Generals  4:i-2 

Quirks 465 

Rabbins 220 

Ralph 55 

Ranks  450 

Ranter ]7] 

Ratiocination 169 

Read  a  verse  313 

Recant 222 

Rod-coat  seculars 382 

Reformado 372,  420 

Reformation 104 

godly  thorough    44 

puppet  play  ...     64 

Relijrion 3138 

Render 311 

Replevin 478 

Ribbons 202 

Ride  astride 98 

Riding  dispensation  ..  315,  357 

Rimnion  402 

Rinaldo 454 

Ring 382 

Robbers 2.^7 

Rochets 393 

Rods  of  iron 384 

Romances 80 

Romulus 378 

Rooks 38 

Rosemarj'  210 

Rosycrucian   02,441 

Rota-men 299 

Rovers 343 

Round  table 30 

Royalists 375 

Ruiiip  380,434,436 

Russell,  Sir  William  (Life)      9 


Safetv 

Saints 

bell   

Saint  Martin's  beads 

Sali(iue  law 

Saltinbancho 

Samlienites 

Sand-bags 

Saruni 

Satire  jMenippie  

(Life)  .... 

Saturn 2.59,273, 

Sausage -maker 

Saxon  duke  

Scaliper 

Sceptic 

Scire  facias   

Sconce  

Scribes 


380 
363 
351 
479 
488 
295 
434 
371 
258 
109 
22 
2gl 
429 
185 
290 
234 
346 
317 
164 


PAOB 

Scrimansky  9i 

Scriptures  express  on  every 

subject 74 

Scrivener  132 

Pccchia  rapita  (Life) 21 

Second-hand  intention  ...  275 

Secret  ones  38-1,399 

Secular  prince  of  darkness  299 

Sedgwick  272 

Selden  (Life) ]2 

Self-denying  119,  128 

ordinance     119,  128 

Semiramis   205 

Sergeants 1()5 

Serpent  at  the  fall  44 

Set   332 

Shaftesbury,  earl  of 385 

Shilling 334 

Sickle   204 

Sidrophel   2.55 

,  epistle  to 304 

Sieve  and  shears 96,  274 

Signatures   323 

Silk- worms 337 

Sing  a  verse 313 

Sirt.ame  of  saint 384 

Sir  Sun   88 

Skimniington 239 

Skull.  Indian 197 

Slush'd  sleeves 39 

Slates,  figured  2(54 

Slubberdegullion 155 

Sniectymnuus 165 

Snuff  enlightened 58 

Society  Royal  (Life) 25 

Socrates 170 

Sollers 422 

Somerset,  protector  81 

Soolerkin 374 

Soothsayers 291 

Sorc'rers  •  256 

Spaniard  whipped   54 

Spiritual  order 373 

Sporus 241 

Squirt-fire 419 

Stalii)rdshire  09,85 

Stains 188 

Stand-stable 138 

State-cauielion  38C 

Statute 480 

Stave  and  tail  87 

Staved 131 

Steered  by  fate  76 

Slentrophonic  voice 310 

Sterry,  Peter 377 

Stiles,  John  of 33 

Stone,  heavens  made  of  ..  58 

Stools S6 

Stralfiird,  earl  of 268 

Stum  199 

Stygian  ferry 377 


198 


INDEX. 


Stx-^rian  sophister 

Puocussaiion 

Piuiden  death 

Su<i2ird 

SuUan  populace 

Pummer-sault 

Sun 

Surplices 

Swaddle  

Swanswick    

Swedes  

Swinging 

Swiss 

Symbols,  signs,  and  tricks 

Sympathetic  powder 

Synods 

Systole 


297 
8-2 
203 
IfiO 
451 
403 
289 
38-2 
30 
371 
240 
219 
4'>r, 
277 
90 
381 
265 


Taird 131 

Tails 200 

Tales  404 

Taliacotius 43 

Talisman 59 

Talismanique  louse 325 

Tarsel  209 

Tartar  154 

Taw'd   211 

Telescope 269 

Ten-horn'd  cattle 417 

Termagants  98 

Third  estate  of  souls 384 

Thirty  tyrants 218 

Thomas  Aquinas 42 

Thumb 382 

Titters 312 

Tiresias 02 

Toasts  210 

Tobacco-stopper 271 

Toledo 51 

Tollutalion 82 

Toothache  203 

Toltipotlonioy 234 

Trait 210 

Triers 104 

Trisons  291 

Trine  292 

Trismegistus  279 

Triumph 239 

Troth 188 

Truckle-bed 219 

True-blue  Presbyterian...     44 

Trulla 97 

Trustees 38 

covenanting 302 

Truth 41,280 

Tully 210 

Turks 91,98 

Tuscan  running-horse  ....  438 

Two-fool  trout 252 

Tycho  Brahe 40 

Tyriaa  queen 5C 


PASK 

Unsanctified  trustees 371 

Ullcgation 302 

Varlct 192 

Vermin 308 

Vespasian 248 

Vessel  313 

Vestal  nuns .339 

Villain 33] 

Vinegar 206 

Virgo 273 

Vitilitigation 169 

Vizard  bead 346 

Waller,  Sir  William  103 

WalHUt-shell 204 

Warbeck,  Perkin  194 

Warders   286 

Warwick,  earl  of 93 

Washing 136 

Water-  w  itch  IW,  405 

Welkin   179 

Wesley,  Mr.  Samuel  (Life)     17 

Whachum 206,273 

Whale 271 

Whetstone ISO 

Whiffler   241 

Whinyard 144 

Whistles 246 

White  216 

sleeves 354,  393 

Whittington 305 

Whv  not 237 

Wight  35 

Wild, Sergeant 411 

Will  383 

Windore 193,232 

Winged  arrows 455 

Witches  230,2.56 

I.apland 231 


Witherington 130 

Withers 06 

Wizards  355 

Woodstock 258 

Words  congealed  ia  north- 
ern air  41 

debased  and  hard  .  40 

new 40 

WorUings-out 391 

Wrest,     in     Bedfordshire 

(Life) 12 

Wrestlers,  Greek  and  Ro- 
man    93 

Years  of  blood 404 

Veil   146 

Yerst  157 

Zany    200 

Zenith 270 

Zodiac-cons'.ellBtion 291 

Zoroaster  27« 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 

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This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last 

date  stamped  below. 


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